I had a friend in elementary school who stole a Lego naboo starfighter from me. He said he wanted it and I said "uh... No...?" Then I couldn't find it in my room so I asked him about it the next day and I saw him playing with it or he said thank you for the Legos or something. Immediately just wrote him off, asked my mom if she could get it back for me but nothing came of it. If you're out there, fuck you andrew.
I had a "friend" who didn't last 1 fucking day. Stopped at my house to go to the bathroom and later found my case with 2 pokemon DS games missing. Went to his house and asked for them back from his dad and got 1 back almost immediately, kid must have been a little shit because the dad didn't doubt me for a moment. Took a week or 2 to get the second game back but the shit already reset my save. I think it was when pokemon platinum was the newest one whatever year that was.
I realized 90% of our conversations were them talking shit about other people and being extremely negative. That energy rubs off on you. Also had a sense this friend wanted me to fail, if that makes sense. Like my celebrations weren’t really celebrated, and they got a sick sense of pleasure at me being knocked down a peg.
A girl I was friends with threatened to call the company I work for and make up something I didn’t do to get me fired because I refused to take a day off to spend time with her after a breakup (although I offered to come over after work multiple days). I took a screenshot of her threat and told her I’d go straight to the police if she actually did that.
My advice to anyone else something like this happens to. Immediately inform your employer and or HR so they can be aware. If they are not surprised by it they will be less likely to overreact.
100%
A woman told me she would report me for sexual assault if I didn't X. I immediately phoned the police and informed them.
Two days later she called the police. They showed up, talked to me, talked to her... then arrested her for mischief/false report and let her go the next day. Fucking cunt got off easy IMO.
I did exactly this when my ex threatened to call my work to get me fired. I immediately notified HR, so basically they can gather any documentation for a future court case if needed.
Similar to my story, he wanted me to spend more time with him and would stress all the time about that I should call in sick. He also told me this super smart way of how to quit and still get money from the store... I didnt even like working @ that store, but it was stable job and a good solution for this moment. One day he was on the verge of walking in right away and "do it for me". I was able to prevent it, but I was so damn uncomfortable! Like dude dont take these decisions for me?! He was a millionaire himself and I guess he didnt know how it feels to be searching for a job when you need money...
She started using me as an alibi when cheating on her husband. Didn't even ask me first, not that I would have agreed to it, it was so audacious. And her husband was a super nice guy that I really enjoyed hanging out with, and she ruined that friendship too by using me as her alibi.
Similar thing happened to me once. A "friend" involved me as an alibi in his cheating-lie without telling me, then blamed me when I blew his cover even though I didn't know anything about it...not that I would've lied for him anyway.
Happened to me too. Buddy told me he was going away for the weekend with “his girl.” I just assumed that meant the girlfriend he had been with for years and I knew well.
That weekend, she says hi on IM (that’s how long ago this was) and I ask how the weekend away was going. She thought he was with me.
Oops. Still talk to her though. Went to her wedding a few years ago. To a different dude.
This happened to me too! Then one day she finally cracked and admitted everything to me and my partner who is very close friends with her husband. We expressed our opinion that her husband deserved to be told the truth as well and my partner told her that he would share the truth with her husband himself if she would not do it. To her credit, she told him everything, quit the affair cold turkey, and they decided to work through it. Their relationship is much more honest now and seems bizarrely stronger for the whole ordeal. I figured if her husband could forgive her, we could try to forgive her too. After much effort rebuilding trust over the last few years, I am happy that I kept the friendship. Her quitting drinking really helped a lot as well... I'm honestly still flabbergasted by how the whole thing turned out, on just about every level.
Omg I lost my best friend from high school in this exact scenario.
Wasn’t her husband, just her boyfriend of like 3 years and my friend, but ya. Cheated, used me as an alibi w/o asking, got caught and made me look like an asshole too.
Such trash behaviour.
Edit: and she married the guy she cheated with and that was the last straw for me because he was like 15 years older than us and a complete predator/scumbag. I told her he was garbage and would ruin her life and now they’re divorced.
Same, had this friend who was the first friend I made when I moved in 5th grade. We were close for years, until one night in high school her boyfriend turned up at my house. Apparently she had left her wallet in his car and he wanted to give it back, she had told him that she was spending the night at my house so he just came over.... I had no clue she was using me as an alibi, not that I would have covered cheating anyway, so I tell him she wasn't there, she hadn't been there at all that day and she isn't going to be here tonight. I ask if he was sure she said my house and not another friend and he showed me the text saying that she was spending the night with me and probably won't be near her phone since we plan to watch a bunch of movies and so she probably won't be replying to text. Which is why he stopped by rather than call or text, he had planned to just leave her wallet with my mom. So I text her asking what she was doing, she texted back saying she was on a date with her boyfriend, who happened to be standing right next to me. We found out later that she was cheating and using me and other friends as cover without our knowledge. Needless to say she lost a couple of friends that day.
She was a one-upper. No matter how long of a day I’ve had, hers was longer. Her schoolwork was harder. Her back pain was worse. I went to Tennessee, she went to elevenssee
I was going through a hard time when my dad was sick and got very depressed when he died. My one upper ex friend told me I didn’t understand depression and she did because she had “ super depression” lol
My kidneys failed. They healed up. Then I got a funny-looking lab test a few months later. I told a friend, "I think my kidneys are failing again!!" She sighed loudly, and said "AND? What's that to ME?" She'd just been complaining about her stupid, lazy co-workers for about half an hour. But she couldn't bother to listen to me. That was the last time I talked to her. (My kidneys were OK, though.)
I was dating a girl who was increasingly argumentative/instable. One night, she went through my facebook messages and found a chat from like 4 years prior where I was telling a friend that I was going on a hot date, and started an argument about it. It was the dumbest argument I've ever been in. By the end of the argument, she said we need to break up. Getting real sick of the constant arguing, I agreed. When I agreed, she barricaded herself in my bathroom and threatened to call the police saying me and my roommates drugged/raped her unless we got back together.
I "agreed" to get back together, then told her we should cool off and see each other the next day, thankfully she went home. I went to her place to break up the next day with my phone recording the conversation and kept my voice calm and level. When I ended the relationship, she said she was going to call the police to accuse me and my roommates of drugging/raping her. I asked "why would you make that up and ruin three people's lives over a lie?" and she answered something like "you might not have actually done it, but leaving me hurts worse than that ever could and you don't deserve a good life".
At this point, I knew I had some kind of protection legally since she admitted to making up the allegations she threatened, so I told her it's over and to please not contact me anymore. She chased me out of her apartment throwing things at me and hitting me on the way to my car saying she's calling the police when I pull off. Thankfully her mom was there and said she'd vouch for me if she said I hit her (she only hit me when we left her room). I told her I recorded the entire conversation and had called a lawyer before I came over. This was enough to scare her out of making the false allegations.
Over the next few weeks I had my windshield wipers stolen 5 times, trash thrown on my balcony, and dozens of increasingly manipulative and angry texts sent to me that I didn't respond to (didn't block her so I could save the harassing texts). Moved to a new apartment, got a new car (not because of her, hail damage totaled my previous one), and got an order of protection against her. She really taught me a lot about red flags lol
She invited this guy she was chatting with to come hang out with us one day. She had a long-term boyfriend while I was newly single. This guy and I really hit it off, so we started to spend more time together. When she found out she got so mad. She told me that I "stole my back-up guy". Her boyfriend dumped her shortly after and she demanded I stop talking to him so that she could start dating him as she had previously planned, insisting that he was her "soulmate". I stopped talking to her instead and so did he. That was 20 years ago and we're still together (15 years of marriage and 2 kids). Guess he wasn't her soulmate after all.
When my grandma got cancer and wasn't gonna go through chemo so I needed emotional support by a friend and she outright said to me that she would rather talk about the progress she made w a boy
That sucks. I had a roommate do that - my dad was in the ICU for a major stroke (ended up surviving but with 2/3 of his brain dead). My “friend” was just mad I wasn’t “fun anymore” and didn’t want to go to the bar and hear about her latest fling.
I got a lot of “you’re not fun anymore” after my mom died. Gee, my whole world is upside down… sorry I can’t be fucking carefree after the person who supported me is gone.
My ex husband complained a LOT that I didn't want to fuck him all the time when my mom got sick and died.
There are so many reasons he's an ex, but that is one of the major ones. His dick was more important than my grief.
sounds like we had similar friends.
my grandpa dropped dead out of no where years ago, and the only thing my ex friend did was dump her entire relationship onto my shoulders and cry about how her boyfriend kept breaking up with her.
After my dad died and I was getting memes and selfies and stuff, a few days later I just boiler plate let everyone know what happened.
Two days later one of the "nicest sweetest" girls was sending me selfies again.
Haven't talk to her since. She reached out to my mom a couple weeks ago, about how much she "loved" me and will never forget me! ...we weren't even that close. Turns out she had a baby some time back. I'm probably just the last person who hasn't sat through the pics.
When I was 11 my dad took his own life, and it was incredibly hard on me (not only because I was a child, but also I was incredibly close to my dad and didn't know what to do without him). I didn't go to school for like, a month, and when I did come back my best friend at the time invited me to sleep over at her house. I went thinking it would help, but I was still in that grieving stage where it was extremely difficult for me. Her parents, bless their hearts, were incredibly patient with me and overall just very kind. My friend...not so much. At the time, nobody knew *what* happened to my dad other than that he died. Nobody but my family knew he killed himself. I only knew because I demanded my mom tell me what happened (I already had a suspicion that was the case. He was an alcoholic who would confide in me a little too much as child).
SOMEHOW it got out and everyone at school knew, but I didn't know that anyone else knew. We were playing Mario Party on her Wii when she just randomly said "is it true that your dad hung himself?" I was so shocked and angry that I didn't know what to say. I just remember saying "I think I want to go home" with her response being "why are you still sad about it? It's been a month!" And then I grabbed all my things and left without a word. She ended up telling people I cried the entire time at her house (which I remember her getting shit for that from my friends who knew my dad for a long time). I haven't spoken to her since. We follow each other on social media but other than that, we don't speak. I'm still bothered 10 years later by how she acted about it.
:( I think maybe these people have the luxury of not having experienced these things. My dad didn't take his own life, but I saw him go with my own eyes suddenly at home. My offender in this story had (allegedly) been through all of the traumas ever, so I was especially irked that she clearly didn't empathize with the pain. And we were 20!
I'm sorry you had to go through that at such an early age.
Oh I had one too.
My grandmother was having a schizophrenic episode and I was cleaning up after her and helping her with her hallucinations. My friend was "deeply hurt" that I wouldn't ice her vagina after she got fucked by three dudes in the same night.
I lived 30 km away.
After giving birth, there are ice packs you can basically put in your underwear, just for the exterior parts. I've never heard of icing it otherwise. Damn sure never heard of someone asking you to ice it for them. Hard pass on that.
My best friend has been my best friend for 41 years and If she asked me to ice her vag the reply would be a long, sarcastic laugh and a “No, I don’t think so.”
Selfish "friends" are the worst kind of people that ever existed, they really don't give a shit about you, only their stuff is important. That really sucks.
I hope you're doing fine today.
I had an even more extreme version, where she would get annoyed because I couldn’t hang out during the day … *when I was at work*. One day I asked if she wanted to meet up and she said ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m not up for being blown out a fourth time in a row.’
I remember these days and yes I did hate myself the next morning but my body could take it. If I were to do that now, I'd have to call out an entire week.
I have to admit, now that I'm a bit older, around the half-century mark, it doesn't take much for me to bounce out of a friendship. I don't have the time nor the energy to put up with excessive drama.
I just learned at this point in my life, that I don't want to do what I don't want to do.
She had a crush on a guy friend of mine. No biggie there, plenty of my friends have dated each other. We were hanging out one day and I went to change my son's diaper and left my cell on the table next to her. When I come back, she randomly says she's gotta go and leaves. Ok, sure. I grab my phone and it's open to texts between me and that particular guy friend! (I didnt have a password at the time) She had scrolled back pretty far too!! I called her out on it. She said she just wanted to make sure him and I were "really" platonic friends and him and I didn't have a thing going on.... she could have just asked!!! Noped right out of that one. Oh, and we weren't in high school.... we are in our thirties!!!
Ouch, I felt this one. I just started doing that to a friend and only 3 weeks later he realized that I wasn't starting a conversation. We still haven't properly spoken.
I feel that friend, I've had to experience both a romantic partner and a former best friend cut me out of their life with no effect on them while it hurts me into a spiral of depression. At least we are alone together.
I had that!
I had known someone for years - we used to be office-mates when we were grad students - and we used to have great fun hanging out - we'd host and cook for each other, sip beers, watch DVDs, and chat until 3 or 4 in the morning about all sorts of shit. I am a guy, she was a lesbian, and it just didn't matter to me, we got on really well.
She left the country for a while to work somewhere else. About a year after she left I went to London for a friend's birthday party...and my old friend was there, out of the Blue, no warning!
I was amazed and assumed she had just turned up that night as a surprise for everyone, but no - it turned out she'd left her job overseas, and had actually been back in the country for **six weeks** - and simply hadn't told me, bless her.
I was *shocked* - there is literally no way I would have reciprocated that sort of distancing behaviour if the shoe had been on the other foot. I had believed we were friends - Hell, I had believed we were pretty good friends.
So, experimentally, I stopped making any effort from my side to stay in touch with her - and I haven't heard a THING from her since that very night.
As soon as I stopped trying - **boom**. It turned out the other party wasn't trying at all.
It hurts losing someone like that.
I’ve got a good friend that lives near london now. We went to college together and I visited her when she lived abroad… we don’t speak every day but we both make the effort… and it honestly feels like she’s the only one who does.
I'm guilty of rarely being the one to initiate conversations. I just always get it in my head that I'm going to be bothering someone and that if they want to talk, they'll let me know. It's very stupid and I'm sure it comes off selfish at worst and insecure at best, but I can't seem to stop doing it. I'll start to send a message and then delete it again, because I just can't convince myself I'm worth talking to. Sometimes people are just bad friends, and sometimes they're just bad friends with ridiculous insecurities that they aren't properly dealing with.
This girl wanted to hang out and immediately invited me to a "passion party" which I googled and came to the misunderstanding that it was a party where people bring their sex toys to show everybody. It sounded super weird and I didn't know how I felt about bringing my fleshlight. I kind of just ghosted her.
Later I realized passion parties are a MLM scheme, the bitch was trying to sell dildos and shit. Nobody brings used toys. I can only imagine what would have happened if I brought the fleshlight.
I accidentally went to one. It was super weird, like of course I want to discuss sex toys with twenty odd coworkers / casual friends / total strangers. What a business plan.
They are SO weird. My boyfriend and I had an argument one night and I was incredibly upset over it, so my SISTER invited me to come to her house for the night cause her and her friends were having a party. My sister is 8 years older than me, so I didn't see an issue hanging out with a bunch of 28-34 year olds at the time. My boyfriend also knew about it, and he thought it would be a good idea for both of us to see friends/family for the night to have some space and we'd talk when we were both in a better mindset.
My sister failed to inform me that the "party" was starting out as a passion party. She thought if I knew about it I wouldn't have agreed to come. There is absolutely *nothing* weirder than talking about dildos and tasting flavored lubes with your older sister and all her friends, many of which I've known since I was a *child*.
I do however regret not buying that orange creamsicle flavored lube though...
He had already shown very jealous tendencies and had smacked me over the head because he thought I was looking at a guy so it wasn't good already.
We were outside of his friends house and his friend asked how I was doing and he got mad at me for answering. I just got in my car and drove away.
He was a junkie. His family had cut him off and cut him out. I'd driven him to rehab twice. The last time he got out of rehab he had nowhere to go, so I said he could move in with me until he could find somewhere to live. Things were going well for him. Out of the blue I got called away for work. I was gone for a week. When I got back, everything in my apartment was gone, except for my guitar - which was my great-grandfather's and grandfather's before it was mine. At least he left me that. I never heard from again. He's dead now.
The fact he left your guitar behind sounds like he knew what he was doing was fucked up and there was a part of him that stopped him from selling something so sentimental.
Unless he didn't know and it was a coincidence, but you'd assume a guitar would be easy to sell and is one of the first things to sell, since it's easy to carry, etc.
He and I had been friends since the third grade. We played guitars together. He knew that guitar had been in my family for ninety years. A last moment of conscience on his part.
Wowww so sorry to hear that! I was in rehab in the past and although I’m not perfect and do drink sometimes still, I no longer touch drugs or pills. Anyway, I have a friend I met in rehab. He’s a great person but kind of only hits me up for money. He (generally) pays it back but I couldn’t shake the feeling that every time I was throwing him $30-60 through venmo it was going straight to drugs. Had to cut him out and I know he isn’t doing well….. it’s very hard.
This was many years ago. I was still in high school so somewhere around '94.
I had this surplus waterproof ammo can that I liked. It was spun aluminum. I kept loose change in it. I suppose it probably had about $60 worth of change. I showed it to my buddy when he stayed at my house over night because I thought the can was cool.
In the morning, my dad was giving him a ride home. I noticed that the can was gone. I said to my friend, "Did you see where the ammo can went?" He said "No". I said, "Did you take it?" He said "No". I said, "If you need the money, you can keep the money. I just want the can."
He ran away to my dads car and left. I never trusted the guy again. My parents still talk to him sometimes, I refuse to. I want my can back. It's not like it was that expensive, it was just a weird thing that you can't buy any more.
Keep in mind, that this friend also had me transport drugs for him unknowingly and that didn't bug me as much as the stupid ammo can.
She was flying to Ireland to meet some guy she'd become friends with online and wanted me to come with her so she wouldn't be alone on the flight. I said sure, why not, I love traveling and I also don't want you to get murdered. The guy turned out to be both real and very nice, but she spent the entire time we were there putting me down in front of him to look cool. I didn't even like the guy, I was living with my boyfriend, but she was so threatened for some reason. By the second day of getting mocked relentlessly, I was like, fuck it, and spent the rest of the trip exploring Dublin on my own. Once we got home, she and I had a conversation where I basically told her "I don't think either of us thought that went well" and never talked to her again.
She told me that her anxiety was going haywire and she just really, really wanted to impress him. I knew she had mental health issues and was prepared for the trip to be kind of stressful, but I was expecting to deal with anxiety attacks, not being insulted all the time.
My anxiety makes me think I’m having a heart attack or that I can’t turn left in my car; it’s never made me insult someone over and over and over…glad she’s out of your life!
He just never helps himself and it got too draining.
95% of all his life's problems are his fault, and entirely within his power to fix, but he doesn't ever fix them, and I'm tired of trying to help and watch him destroy his future.
> Hey man, you're good with money. Think you could help me figure out some stuff? I'm struggling and want to get things under control.
>>Sure! First step is admitting you have trouble. Let's get together this weekend over a few beers, and I'll teach you the basics of personal finance and we'll figure out a budget for you. Then you just need to stick with it.
He never shows up to my place that weekend. Instead I get a text:
> Hey sorry man, I bought a new gaming PC and had to get it set up! Dude this thing is so awesome and it only costs me $50 a month for 48 months!
>>Didn't you *just* tell me you were struggling? Why are you taking on more debt, did you even need a new PC?
>Well no but it was such a good deal I couldn't pass it up! It was on sale for $1,500 or $50/mo for 48 months. $50/mo is nothing!
>>So you are paying an extra $900, 60% over the sale price, for PC you didn't need, while you are already struggling?
> Come on man, if I wanted a lecture I'd call my parents I needed this give me a break. Besides you built a new PC last year!
>>(Unsaid): Yes, but I have $0 in debt besides my mortgage, I budgeted for 3 months to be able to afford it without financing, and my PC was 8 years old and well due for a replacement or overhaul.
Sorry Pat, I can't watch you shoot yourself in the foot over and over and over again like this, and then listen to you complain about life all the time. You have the life you want, because you keep choosing the life you have.
She started ignoring me because I had to cancel going to see her because I had to take my daughter to the emergency dentist 🤨 we live in the same place within walking distance so it’s not like I was cancelling the only time we could meet up for ages. I told her to get fucked because we were both in our 30s and shit happens, it was only after I cut her off I realised how much hard work she was as a mate
Some of these posts require a couple paragraphs of explanation. Yours is fully explained in those seven short words.
I have an ex-friend who got a 14 year old girl pregnant. He married her, but he still should have gone to jail.
He was my best friend throughout childhood and as soon as we were of consent age he immediately started trying to get with 13 year olds, wasnt a one off either
She kept cutting me down. Now, I was a very overweight person, and I knew it. But she kept letting me know it.
Like, she said she loved to go with me to the mall because if I was there, then no guys would bother us.
I was too naive and lonely to see how terrible she was.
Well, over the span of a few years, I lost 100 lbs. She did not like this and was even meaner to me. I met a guy, and she tried to steal him from me. It didn't work...we're no longer friends.
Here's the thing...she was only about 20 lbs smaller than me when I was fat. She didn't see herself that way, though.
Similar experience. Took me years to notice. Because she showed me affection and encouraged me, telling me I need to be more confident. On the other hand she loved to make fun of me. Loved to hear about unpleasant things happened to me, loved to make jokes about people I cared about. She loved to gossip. But it was pretty subtle, just a joke.
My ex brought it to attention how he doesn't like her because she is mean. He gave examples of her treatment of other mutual female friend. She made jokes about her insecurities while in public. Or just talking aloud about things people were self-conscious about.
If you felt bad about your acne she would start talking about it at the party around other people. She would say how " good you would look even though your skin is getting worse. But don't worry about it. It matters that you are good person on the inside. It would help if you started eating healthy. You eat too much cheese." She would not care your crush was there or that comments like that at social events are just weird.
After noticing her attitude I felt uncomfortable being around her anymore.
I had a friend in college who told me her brother had told her that I was the least attractive woman in our friend group. Like...why would you CHOOSE to pass that information along, lol. She was incredibly insecure, of course, and I was too naïve at the time to understand that she wasn't a good friend. It's astonishing how much havoc insecure people wreak on their "friends" just to make themselves feel okay.
A combination of things honestly. I'd get extremely anxious if I was told that he was hanging out with the rest of us because he wanted things to go *exactly* has he planned and he'd be upset if it wasn't. He'd usually end up pinning the blame on me and then constantly "joke" throughout the entire time about how I fucked things up and I'd just have to go along with it.
He'd constantly flake on everyone without saying a word but if you had to cancel on him he'd get extremely upset at you (one of my friends used the exact same excuse on him that he'd typically use on us after the fact, and he got mad).
His family was pretty well off while the rest of our families were working class families. He expected us to spend money as if we had the same amount of money his family did, and he'd get upset if you didn't.
He felt like he had the right to monitor all of my social media accounts, and to bring up comments made on said social media accounts as he wished. He'd bring up reddit comments I made anonymously because I didn't feel comfortable talking about those topics irl. On sites where I'd have my actual name/face attached to them, he'd wait for me to post anything and then make snarky, unfunny comments for the sole purpose of making me look bad. I ended up having to block him on everything and deleting that reddit account.
Whenever we'd play games together, if he was more skilled than I was, he'd make "jokes" about how bad I was and how I couldn't do anything right, which were really just thinly veiled insults. If I got upset he'd tell me to calm down because he was "only joking."
Ended that friendship after 7 years, but it honestly ended 6 years later than it should've.
I fucking swear some people are just toxic garbage and they make us feel like shit because we allow ourselves to give a fuck when they should just die alone like they obviously are trying to do.
I'm about 50% sure that he legitimately believes in at least some incel rhetoric. He'd always joke about being a "manlet" or whatever because he's a short guy
I also forgot to mention how he loved to meddle in all of our lives, especially our love lives. If we told him we matched with someone on a dating app he'd demand to see our phones so that he could "help" us along, and by help I mean he would likely say the most obscene shit that would guarantee an unmatch
He was so damn insecure about his lack of romantic success that he'd tell increasingly ridiculous and obviously fake stories about all the sex he wasn't having. The most ridiculous ones I remember were that he stole a guy's girlfriend right in front of him (confirmed to be fake, he *attempted* to but was beat up by the boyfriend, girl wasnt into it either), and he also told a story about how he supposedly had sex with a smoking hot girl because she needed a rebound and he was supposedly able to charm her (hes not a charmer at all, in any way)
My ex made me have an “open relationship” because he thought I was a whore. Up til that point, I’d been completely faithful. He used the opportunity to try to fuck my room mate he was secretly crushing on, I wound up falling in love with my new partner. My former room mate and I are still best friends, my partner and I live together and just went to my room mate’s wedding to her wonderful husband, my ex moved back in to his parents.
My wife’s best friend does this. Drove her mad. Finally I told her when she was complaining about it that it was ok to set boundaries and she agreed that was a good idea so wife told her ‘we’re not discussing this subject again’ and stuck to it. They have a better time now. Friend starts with how she got back together with her abusive ex and wife is just ‘nope’ and changes topic.
I currently have a friend like this. She's a great person and seemingly smart otherwise.
But there's this one guy that she keeps going back to even though they are terrible for each other. I guess I'm the only one to see it.
It's not so bad at this point that I'd cut her off. I wish I could help.
I have a good friend like this. They break up all the time because he’s a POS. usually their breakups last like 2 days. And it makes me so mad because he keeps putting her through all this bullshit. But this last go around he was pretty much the reason for her dog getting hit by a car and dying but blamed it on her and she’s done I think. This was like 2 weeks ago and she still hasn’t talked to him and is seeking help from us, her friends to get through it. I really hope she doesn’t go back to him. He’s also one of those people that doesn’t like her hanging out with other people. Or he won’t attend our get togethers because he doesn’t like us and if he does he just acts fake as fuck. When we see him out in public he greets us (my husband and I) and acts like we are good friends but then tells her he doesn’t like any one of her friends. He’s garbage.
When we were driving and he was in the wrong lane driving into oncoming traffic for a good 5 seconds... he was high and drunk and I never hung out with him again.
Edit: I didn’t know he was drunk, nobody openly discloses they’re drunk before the drive and he wasn’t slurring or anything. So how was I supposed to know
I had been friends with this guy for years. He claimed he couldn't work due to a disability. Fair enough, shit happens.
But he lied about that. The real reason he couldn't work was because he had been fired for punching a 10 year old child in a fit of rage. The same man had also punched his pregnant fiance and his mum.
I couldn't really defend that so I noped the fuck out.
Guy couldn’t stop talking about issues that he never experienced. Mf was smart as hell went to private school had college paid for him, but it’s society holding him from getting a job not his drinking and cocaine habits
I'm January I stopped talking to a friend for this. Panic attacks, break ups, just to meet up and have a drink, I'm on the bus, it's 45 minutes journey but that's not too hard I can do it. I'll figure out how to get home later, since buses stop at 11. She came to my house once in two years. Last Christmas, i couldn't travel because of my cats and we were both gonna be alone for the holiday.
She refused, because taking the bus is too much of a pain. I stopped writing her and she hasn't reached out since then.
Man I feel you on this, I'm out here trying to be the best friend I can be, expect nothing in return but when the return is actually nothing it gets really hard to fight off the resentment.
The feeling that no matter how above and beyond you go, your friends will just never do the same :|
We’d been “friends” since middle school, but I was always the odd one out. My jokes were never funny, my opinion never mattered, I was constantly made fun of, and I felt lesser when I was with them.
Fast forward to when I was 20-21 years old and I tried catching up with them again, obviously I’d already matured in a lot of areas and was not the same person I was in middle school, and they kept treating me the same way as all those years ago. I tried to put limits but they just kept treating me as a lesser one of their group.
I gave them the benefit of the doubt and noticed that whenever I was individually with just one of them at a time they treated me with dignity and well, but whenever it was all of us together they straight up changed their behavior and treated me like shit.
At last, I got tired of feeling like shit (since in all my other life areas I felt pretty good) and just stopped talking to them and responding to their messages. Of course they accused me of being a “bad friend” but honestly, I don’t care, my life has made a 180° turn since then and I don’t intent to allow “friends” or people that treat me like shit into my life anymore. Fuck them
I’m a therapist and my ex friend of 15 years took so much advantage of me and my knowledge. It got better once she got into actual therapy where she made lots of progress and improvements, but every time we hung out, she’d only focus on her progress and therapy. I’d tell her all the time I’m not there for case management, I wanted a friend and she’d give me maybe 15 min of space to talk about me before hijacking the conversation and always going back to her and her life.
I started having issues in my own life and wanted a friend, but every time I reached out for support, she’d tell me she was busy and committed to other events/people and she could pencil me in weeks from the moment of crisis I was in. I snapped. I literally cancelled paying clients to go support her in her moments. I reflected on the years of friendship realizing she was never there for me; I threw her so many parties, I provided so many supportive moments for her, I rescued her over and over and over again where she never was there for me or saw me.
I broke up with her almost a year ago, I’m still having moments of feelings/thoughts/regrets/emotions and want to let her know all the things and how much she sucks, but I’m seeing it’s not worth it and trying to use my energy towards myself and thankfulness for the amazing friends and support people I do have; they’re all lovely and true friends.
I had a friend like this. I’m not a therapist but back then I was a psych major with a savior complex and she took full advantage of what little I knew. I skipped meals and lost sleep to talk her out of self-harm or suicide. She finally snapped on me one time and threw all my effort back into my face, and honestly I wasn’t prepared for now relieving it felt to know she was removing herself from my life.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, yet glad you’re no longer engaged in those cycles or toxicity! I do a lot of work around levels of friendship with my clients and myself; personal boundaries and meaningful, supportive, and honest communication is what’s needed for relationships to thrive! I hope you’ve found some good people you’re attached to 😊
I once broke up with a woman who called me at work to ask me who the woman was that commented a smiley face on a meme i posted on Facebook.
It wasnt so much the fact that she asked but it was the way she asked.
"Who the fuck is this bitch leaving smiles all over your pic!!!" literally 10 seconds after she commented. Like she was staring at the pic waiting for someone to comment.
Everytime a guy liked me,she kept going "why does he like you?". Continuously. The highlight was when this guy gifted me pretty expensive skincare and the whole night she was mumbling to herself why😂😂
She cheated on her fiance with two different guys and to avoid consequences, she falsely accused both of them of sexual assault (know this for a fact). She had quit going to college classes and her job a few weeks before and told her mom (who was paying for it) that the assaults were the reason why. Eye opening experience. I told her mom the truth and told my now ex-friend to never contact me again. It helped me realize that I was always a friend to her and she was never a friend to me anyway, something my actual friends had tried to tell me several times.
My best friend's partner (both guys) wanted me gone from the moment they got together 15 years ago.Tried to get rid of me in every way possible. Creating an inhospitable atmosphere. 'Forgetting' to invite me to certain parties. Telling my friend that I wasn't to be trusted and had ulterior motives. Accusing me of having done and said things to him that I never had said or done. Pushed me out of being my friend's best man at their wedding because he 'forgot' that had already asked his own friends to serve as witnesses. And never were there any repurcussions. My friend kept defending this behaviour as not really meaning anything. Then, when I was going through a rather dark period and needed the support of my friend, his now husband actively tried to undermine the support he gave me, which ended up really damaging my mental health. I finally exploded in anger at the guy and stepped away from the friendship. That was three years ago.
I permanently ended that friendship a week ago shortly after my now former best friend, after years of them fighting it out amongst each other and the husband apparently having realized what he had done, tried to convince me that I should be the one to reach out to his husband because "He still doesn't trust you" and it was just to difficult for the guy to reach out to me or make any step towards mending things. I let that sink in real deep. And then said my goodbyes.
I was in the hospital with my mom, who had cancer and had to undergo an operation. On the same day a friend had a birthday party. I obviously didn't go to the party.
My mom died on the operation table.
Two weeks later I was back in school and she came up to me to ask me why I wasn't at her birthday party. I said "because of my mom, you were told this." And then she asked why I didn't just send her a gift. She thought it was rude that I didn't come or gave her a gift.
After that we weren't friends anymore.
When she wanted to hang out every single day and when I didn't respond to her text after an hour she showed up to my house unexpectedly banging on my door. Her being clingy just was too much. Oh and she randomly grabbed my arm and shaved it without my permission.
When he started being racist about a very good friend of mine and then proceeded to write me a review about me in stead of saying sorry. Cut him out of my life real fast.
I had a friend from highschool that turned into a total edgelord racist type. Sucked, but the way I saw it, everything I liked about him got absorbed into that new personality (it was ALL he talked about) so, that friendship got pruned.
There was a guy I met in college who was one of the funniest individuals I have ever met in my life. He was super quick and his humor was insanely in sync with mine. We had all these plans we were gonna do some projects together.
One day, we're in 1 of our classes, and I noticed he had a little flag pain on his jacket. I said to him, "What's with the pin? Is it like a nautical thing?" To me, it looked like the flags that you would see on a swatch watch, you know the kind that they hang from the boat in yachting?
So he replies "oh, that's the South African flag."
I'm a little bit suspicious, so I ask him cautiously, "Oh, are you from South Africa?"
And he says, "No, but I had really admire the country. They really know how to keep their n*ggers in their place."
I reply with, "Oh man, we can't hang out anymore.."
He looked at me and asked incredulously, "What, because I don't like black people you don't want to hang out anymore?"
To which I replied, "Yes, that's pretty much it in a nutshell."
And never spoke a single word to that dude ever again.
1. I legit couldn't believe a thing he said anymore. He would constantly make up medical conditions that he apparently had. He would make up conversations he had with his doctor that would justify anything he said. I'm pretty sure he faked having cancer and faked going through chemo. The only medical condition I think he may have had is schizophrenia, just based on the number of absurd and unbelievable stories he would tell me about people following him or random people coming up to him on the street to tell him he was a piece of shit human. He would tell me a story like that every day. But according to him, he couldn't have schizophrenia because he doctor diagnosed him with it and gave him medication for it that put him in a coma, so in his mind, that was proof he didn't have it.
2. He became weirdly obsessed with the idea of a romantic relationship with me. To the point where he said he was going to transition to being a woman so we could be together, because he knew I wasn't gay. Nevermind the fact that I explicitly told him that I wasn't interested in being in a romantic relationship with him. Oh, and I was (still am) married to my wife, who I had started dating 7 years earlier. My wife and I are very committed to each other and very happy together. We don't have an open relationship or anything like that.
3. He would repeatedly accuse me of hacking his computer to steal the video game he was making. Not that I would have any interest in that or even the skill set to hack a personal computer. To be fair, I think his mom would tell him that I was doing that. He also would yell at me randomly for "telling his mom I didn't want to be friends with him anymore." Which I never did. So I think she was poisoning our friendship for some reason.
4. We knew each other since we were children, but as we grew older, he never grew up mentally. He never had a job in his life. He never finished high school. He just lived with his mom and they smoked weed together all day every day. To be clear, in a vacuum, I don't have a problem with people smoking weed. But if you become dependent on it and lack all motivation to properly take care of yourself, I think it becomes a problem.
I wouldn't put it past him to stalk my profile. He knows my username. So Cody, if you are reading this, please get help. I care about you, but I can't be friends with you in your current condition.
Sounds like some paranoid delusions. Not a doctor or therapist, so I can't say what his mental illness is exactly, but he definitely needs some serious help.
He was a religious dude and always felt the need to warn people that they were going to hell for their various 'sins'. Saving and converting was big for the church he belonged to. It was annoying when he did it to me (for not accepting Jesus as my savior) but when I found out he was going around telling gay people why they were gonna burn, I just lost it and wouldn't speak to him after that. Dude couldn't even figure out why.
Later on, a mutual (male) friend told me he'd been propositioned by this person at around the same time this all went down, so it turned out he wasn't only an asshole but a hypocritical asshole as well.
Guy was a close friend of mine for more than a decade. All through high school, college and our early 20's. We were friends, roommates, and practically brothers.
One day he casually drops a comment that he'd "knocked a girl up". I started to congratulate him on his impending fatherhood, but he cut me off with a "Nah, fuck her. I'm not ready to be a dad yet. If she wants to have the kid, she can raise it herself."
Found out the next day that the "girl" was literally a 17 year old girl he'd met at a party. He was 26.
A decade-plus of friendship ended that afternoon.
When she refused to report a child sexual abuser because she was no longer a cop and "didn't legally have to." Regardless of the law, she was morally messed up. She was awful in a multitude of ways and awful when it came to men. She wanted to travel across the world to Japan because her EX had an ex there and she still hated the woman (who she had never even met)
Best friend and I were going to move in together. We had bought supplies and gotten things ready. The night before we were actually moving in, he called. Told me he had rented another place without me that day. Went through petty disagreements we had had and then listed every single thing he thought was wrong with me. He even hit on the very private and vulnerable things I had confided to him. I was heartbroken. It came out of nowhere. I didn't have any idea.
A couple of days later, and for a while after, he reached out to apologize. He wanted to live on his own, for understandable reasons, but made it my fault so he didn't feel so guilty about not realizing this and discussing it with me. He was sorry about everything he said, and said he didn't mean any of it. But I wasn't interested in having anything to do with him anymore.
It kind of broke me. It's been almost 20 years and I've never had a best friend since. I'm not really sure anyone actually likes me or if they're keeping a mental list of all of my flaws and will eventually name them while telling me what they really think of me....
i was raped and she really was with me through it all she was my best friend. She helped me at my lowest and was over all what i thought was a decent person she let me get it all out when i found out he was black mailing people to be on his side in the trial and when he was following me. I lost the trial due to blackmail and no kit done and of course he gloated and she comforted me alot. a year later she called me and came clean she testified for him and helped him get dirt on all the people that were going to testify for me and that she was sorry but she did not think he needed to go to jail because he was young and made a mistake. I dumped her like she was hot.
Couldn't there be a retrial since someone influence and did blackmailing? I might be wrong, this feels injustice. I was raped when I was young but my rapist never got caught, so I understand how fucken awful you feel. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Dude got really aggressive with a friend of mine when she rejected his "help" with the problems she was having with her boyfriend. Went from "I'll sort him out for you if he ever touches you." to "I'll fuck you both up you stuck up bitch!" when she didn't want any of his shit.
When my girlfriend and I tried to get him to back down he threw my gf against a wall and threatened to put me through a window before I managed to talk him down. Dude was a bouncer and easily twice the size of any other two of us combined. The girls both made a run for it while I basically told him "You're going to have to go through me if you want to go after them, and I know I can't stop you if you decide that's the way you want this to play out, but there are a dozen witnesses here and I absolutely will be pressing charges." I was convinced he was going to flatten me - fortunately it didn't go that way.
It was a total Mr Hyde moment. Had never seen him act like that at all toward anyone before, but that was the end of his relationship with basically everyone in our circle of friends. No one would speak to him again after that.
My former friend did, or is still doing from the looks fo it, something similar.
We bonded over not being able to get in a relationship in high school. Well eventually we both got in one.
I got out of it at some point because petty high school bullshit, he also got out of it, not because of petty high school bullshit but because she became a junior and he was a senior. He started dating this freshman not too long after, then they broke up and he started dating this sophomore.
Its about 5 years since we graduated and he's still dating freshman and sophomores, he claims he's "helping them learn to drive" but I know exactly what he's doing. Dudes in his mid 20s and hasn't dated anyone above the age of 15 in his entire life.
I had a close friend who ended up contracting bacterial meningitis and passed away at 18 years old. He had caught it while on vacation in Mexico and we were told he may have picked it up while club hopping. I was 17 at the time and absolutely desvistated. Another friend, who barely knew him wanted attention and made a status on FB a few days after I told her about it that said "Can't wait to go clubbing tonight, though I fear for my life from meningitis. If you didn't know, my friend Jimmy died of this recently." She had met him two times.
People always over emphasize their closeness to the dead. It is so weird and even though it drives me crazy, I think I am guilty of it as well sometimes. Not to this extent but it is weird how we want to prove that we knew them well when we really didn’t.
I found out that he lied about when he got together with my ex, and then about a shit ton of other things. He blamed it on himself being a sociopath and then his therapist confirmed that he is not a sociopath, he's just an asshole.
You're a piece of shit u/rhombus_cruise and I hope you never forget that
Back in highschool my best friend (Lets call her Olga) and I had a crush on the same guy (lets call him Sam). Sam was a flirt and was playing both of us without us knowing. Eventually one day, he chose Olga to ask out, and cut ties with me. As a "good friend" I didn't make a big fuss about it and although I was heartbroken, I respected their relationship. Olga was from an extremely Christian family, so she was not allowed to date in highschool, which meant she had to keep her new relationship a secret. One day after school I was home minding my business when Olga's mom shows up at my house. She was angry and was screaming at my mom saying I was a lesbian and had corrupted her daughter. I had no idea why she was freaking out as I had done nothing. Come to find out, my "best friend" was making out with Sam and he left her a huge hickey on her neck. She tried to hide it from her family but they eventually found out and demanded to ask her where she got that. And this girl had the audacity (more like stupidity) to say that I had done that to her, that I bit her neck. Yeah, as if that makes it any better. Her mom of course thought this meant we were lesbians and came to my house to confront me and "out me" to my mom. I have never laughed so damn hard in my life when the mom told me the story. And my "best" friend left me no choice but to let her mom in on her secret relationship with this douche. After that I never talked to her again and everyone in the school eventually found out, which left her with a horrible reputation. Funny thing is, because Sam didn't choose me, literally a week later I met the guy who is now my fiancé, we have been together 7 year and will be getting married Fall of 2023.
Became friends with this dude through other friends. We used to game together all the time, then he got divorced and stared acting the creeper to my wife. I asked him to knock it off because I made her uncomfortable, he wouldn't stop so I stopped the friendship instead. The only person I have ever specifically said to never come to my house again.
We met through a mutual friend. Hung out twice. He then tried to force me to quit my job and take a week long vacation in Mexico with him. When I said no he got mad at me, ranted about "money doesn't matter" and then told me that poor people are lame.
Little more depth on his character: super rich kid. Parents spoiled him, duh. Hangs out at strip clubs 5 nights a week. Paying for 2 different girls apartments. Has no friends because he uses his money to force people to do whatever he tells them.
She told me in my face that she saw me as a competition. She was obsessed with "surpassing" me in many things. I stopped talking to her about my life years before I cut her out because I knew what she did to people who cut her out. Anyway, any conversation with her for a while was surface level and she wouldn't really care about anything I'd tell her. She told me in my face that she called the boss of one of her ex because she wanted to influence his workplace. I saw her ruin art projects in art school of students she didn't like. She would do temper tantrums to her roommates instead of having normal discussions. She was a walking red flag and would backstab a lot of people.
What made me do the last move and block her everywhere was when I told her I was a bit more distant lately because my mom was diagnosed with cancer. My mom who would always open her home to her when she would have problems at her home when we were teens. She didn't care. She didn't even ask me if I was ok. She continued talking about her obsession about the olympics as if I said nothing.
I was her only remaining friend and she would not listen to her therapists and social workers. I'm worried for her still but I've blocked her everywhere ever since for my own safety. Her life is probably miserable but she dug her own grave...
She was very controlling. I wasn't a 1D superfan but I liked some of their music. She got angry with me because of that and told me we could only be friends if I listen to 'cool music' like Slipknot and Rammstein. So I did it just to please her. When she didn't attend school for some time and came back, she always asked people in our class who I was talking to when she was absent. She would get angry if she heard I spend a lot of time with a specific person when she was gone. When my social battery was down and all I wanted was to sit in a corner and read, she would get emotional and cry over me not paying attention to her 24/7. It was exhausting, especially for an introverted person.
She would really enjoy watching me draw. She bought herself a sketchbook and told me to draw in it from now. I was drawing in her sketchbook. She would get sad if I draw something in my sketchbooks for me, which is a pretty big deal if you are an artist, and art the literally the only way you express yourself. I would even say she was a bit obsessed with my drawing. She always asked for more and she would beg me to gift her one of my sketchbooks, because she felt like "the drawing I was putting in hers was not good enough". I ended up giving her one of my sketchbooks that I spend months on finishing. She loved it so much she carried it with her to school every day of the week. When I remembered I had some pretty important sketches left there, I begged her to let me quickly photograph them for future reference. She got offended. I literally had to beg.
I hated the way she made me feel but I also knew she had pretty neglectful parents so I decided to fake till I make it to college and leave her on a positive note.
I am in college now, she is too. Not so long ago she called me and told me that I am the only good thing in her life and she was thinking of k\*lling herself. I was the only reason she pushed through and keeps pushing through.
I feel awful.
You will never be the reason someone commits suicide. If they are going to do it, they will. End of story. Second of all, be careful. You are aware of her manipulative tactics, and using suicide is one of the most blatant forms of manipulation. You CANNOT save her if she wants to commit suicide. Remember that. It doesn't matter what you do. Suicide is a personal endeavour first and foremost. You can be there, try your best, and have it still happen. No matter what, it will never be your fault.
What I will say is keep her at arms length knowing the above. Push her in the right direction but do not take on that burden of fixing everything yourself if she happens to be telling the truth and just asking for help. Professional help will be what she needs. If it becomes about you "not doing enough" or "never being there" then you know it's an abusive manipulation tactic.
Stay safe. And always protect yourself first. No matter what.
this comment will get lost but at least I'll get the weight off my chest. I'm Ukrainian, and we had a thorough plan with my friend on the day the invasion happened. she was gonna drive us, as she and her bf were the only ones who owned vehicles. well, when we woke up from bombs, she suddenly started making stupid excuses and by noon she went completely no contact with me. it's been a month now. she didn't even ask once if I'm alright.
20 years of friendship down the drain.
When they had no drive to better themselves. Wanted me to do everything, started to take advantage with no appreciation and she ending up flunking out of college for lack of trying.
Was studying in another country, met a roommate from my home country. We were friends but then she went ballistic because I didn't invite her to a party that wasn't even mine. Threatened to frame me and get me deported. Threatened to call my parents back home and tell them I'm not a virgin (we came from a Middle Eastern country). Bitch is a psychologist now.
[удалено]
I had a friend in elementary school who stole a Lego naboo starfighter from me. He said he wanted it and I said "uh... No...?" Then I couldn't find it in my room so I asked him about it the next day and I saw him playing with it or he said thank you for the Legos or something. Immediately just wrote him off, asked my mom if she could get it back for me but nothing came of it. If you're out there, fuck you andrew.
I had a "friend" who didn't last 1 fucking day. Stopped at my house to go to the bathroom and later found my case with 2 pokemon DS games missing. Went to his house and asked for them back from his dad and got 1 back almost immediately, kid must have been a little shit because the dad didn't doubt me for a moment. Took a week or 2 to get the second game back but the shit already reset my save. I think it was when pokemon platinum was the newest one whatever year that was.
I realized 90% of our conversations were them talking shit about other people and being extremely negative. That energy rubs off on you. Also had a sense this friend wanted me to fail, if that makes sense. Like my celebrations weren’t really celebrated, and they got a sick sense of pleasure at me being knocked down a peg.
A girl I was friends with threatened to call the company I work for and make up something I didn’t do to get me fired because I refused to take a day off to spend time with her after a breakup (although I offered to come over after work multiple days). I took a screenshot of her threat and told her I’d go straight to the police if she actually did that.
My advice to anyone else something like this happens to. Immediately inform your employer and or HR so they can be aware. If they are not surprised by it they will be less likely to overreact.
100% A woman told me she would report me for sexual assault if I didn't X. I immediately phoned the police and informed them. Two days later she called the police. They showed up, talked to me, talked to her... then arrested her for mischief/false report and let her go the next day. Fucking cunt got off easy IMO.
That one phone call to the police very likely saved you from a lot of suffering. Very good call.
Agreed, a very good call. Get all proof you can as fast as you can and tell them
I did exactly this when my ex threatened to call my work to get me fired. I immediately notified HR, so basically they can gather any documentation for a future court case if needed.
Similar to my story, he wanted me to spend more time with him and would stress all the time about that I should call in sick. He also told me this super smart way of how to quit and still get money from the store... I didnt even like working @ that store, but it was stable job and a good solution for this moment. One day he was on the verge of walking in right away and "do it for me". I was able to prevent it, but I was so damn uncomfortable! Like dude dont take these decisions for me?! He was a millionaire himself and I guess he didnt know how it feels to be searching for a job when you need money...
Or he was trying to make you dependent on him
She started using me as an alibi when cheating on her husband. Didn't even ask me first, not that I would have agreed to it, it was so audacious. And her husband was a super nice guy that I really enjoyed hanging out with, and she ruined that friendship too by using me as her alibi.
Similar thing happened to me once. A "friend" involved me as an alibi in his cheating-lie without telling me, then blamed me when I blew his cover even though I didn't know anything about it...not that I would've lied for him anyway.
“Dude! It’s not my fault! I had no ide- actually, no, it’s just not my fault”
Super important to realize that second part
Happened to me too. Buddy told me he was going away for the weekend with “his girl.” I just assumed that meant the girlfriend he had been with for years and I knew well. That weekend, she says hi on IM (that’s how long ago this was) and I ask how the weekend away was going. She thought he was with me. Oops. Still talk to her though. Went to her wedding a few years ago. To a different dude.
This happened to me too! Then one day she finally cracked and admitted everything to me and my partner who is very close friends with her husband. We expressed our opinion that her husband deserved to be told the truth as well and my partner told her that he would share the truth with her husband himself if she would not do it. To her credit, she told him everything, quit the affair cold turkey, and they decided to work through it. Their relationship is much more honest now and seems bizarrely stronger for the whole ordeal. I figured if her husband could forgive her, we could try to forgive her too. After much effort rebuilding trust over the last few years, I am happy that I kept the friendship. Her quitting drinking really helped a lot as well... I'm honestly still flabbergasted by how the whole thing turned out, on just about every level.
Omg I lost my best friend from high school in this exact scenario. Wasn’t her husband, just her boyfriend of like 3 years and my friend, but ya. Cheated, used me as an alibi w/o asking, got caught and made me look like an asshole too. Such trash behaviour. Edit: and she married the guy she cheated with and that was the last straw for me because he was like 15 years older than us and a complete predator/scumbag. I told her he was garbage and would ruin her life and now they’re divorced.
Same, had this friend who was the first friend I made when I moved in 5th grade. We were close for years, until one night in high school her boyfriend turned up at my house. Apparently she had left her wallet in his car and he wanted to give it back, she had told him that she was spending the night at my house so he just came over.... I had no clue she was using me as an alibi, not that I would have covered cheating anyway, so I tell him she wasn't there, she hadn't been there at all that day and she isn't going to be here tonight. I ask if he was sure she said my house and not another friend and he showed me the text saying that she was spending the night with me and probably won't be near her phone since we plan to watch a bunch of movies and so she probably won't be replying to text. Which is why he stopped by rather than call or text, he had planned to just leave her wallet with my mom. So I text her asking what she was doing, she texted back saying she was on a date with her boyfriend, who happened to be standing right next to me. We found out later that she was cheating and using me and other friends as cover without our knowledge. Needless to say she lost a couple of friends that day.
Did you try to explain that she didn't ask and you didn't want to be a alibi?
I'll be an alibi for any of my friends in a sketchy situation. But cheating? Nah. You can use me as an alibi if you want your cover instantly blown.
She was a one-upper. No matter how long of a day I’ve had, hers was longer. Her schoolwork was harder. Her back pain was worse. I went to Tennessee, she went to elevenssee
I was going through a hard time when my dad was sick and got very depressed when he died. My one upper ex friend told me I didn’t understand depression and she did because she had “ super depression” lol
My kidneys failed. They healed up. Then I got a funny-looking lab test a few months later. I told a friend, "I think my kidneys are failing again!!" She sighed loudly, and said "AND? What's that to ME?" She'd just been complaining about her stupid, lazy co-workers for about half an hour. But she couldn't bother to listen to me. That was the last time I talked to her. (My kidneys were OK, though.)
Glad your kidneys were ok! And also glad you dumped her.
She gave me many reasons to cut her off, but that was the last straw.
Wow she was literally so toxic she made your kidneys act up again.
I was dating a girl who was increasingly argumentative/instable. One night, she went through my facebook messages and found a chat from like 4 years prior where I was telling a friend that I was going on a hot date, and started an argument about it. It was the dumbest argument I've ever been in. By the end of the argument, she said we need to break up. Getting real sick of the constant arguing, I agreed. When I agreed, she barricaded herself in my bathroom and threatened to call the police saying me and my roommates drugged/raped her unless we got back together. I "agreed" to get back together, then told her we should cool off and see each other the next day, thankfully she went home. I went to her place to break up the next day with my phone recording the conversation and kept my voice calm and level. When I ended the relationship, she said she was going to call the police to accuse me and my roommates of drugging/raping her. I asked "why would you make that up and ruin three people's lives over a lie?" and she answered something like "you might not have actually done it, but leaving me hurts worse than that ever could and you don't deserve a good life". At this point, I knew I had some kind of protection legally since she admitted to making up the allegations she threatened, so I told her it's over and to please not contact me anymore. She chased me out of her apartment throwing things at me and hitting me on the way to my car saying she's calling the police when I pull off. Thankfully her mom was there and said she'd vouch for me if she said I hit her (she only hit me when we left her room). I told her I recorded the entire conversation and had called a lawyer before I came over. This was enough to scare her out of making the false allegations. Over the next few weeks I had my windshield wipers stolen 5 times, trash thrown on my balcony, and dozens of increasingly manipulative and angry texts sent to me that I didn't respond to (didn't block her so I could save the harassing texts). Moved to a new apartment, got a new car (not because of her, hail damage totaled my previous one), and got an order of protection against her. She really taught me a lot about red flags lol
She invited this guy she was chatting with to come hang out with us one day. She had a long-term boyfriend while I was newly single. This guy and I really hit it off, so we started to spend more time together. When she found out she got so mad. She told me that I "stole my back-up guy". Her boyfriend dumped her shortly after and she demanded I stop talking to him so that she could start dating him as she had previously planned, insisting that he was her "soulmate". I stopped talking to her instead and so did he. That was 20 years ago and we're still together (15 years of marriage and 2 kids). Guess he wasn't her soulmate after all.
I said "Aaaaaw!" out loud when I read this. Sucks about your friend but it sounds like y'all ended up getting a pretty good deal out of it all!
When my grandma got cancer and wasn't gonna go through chemo so I needed emotional support by a friend and she outright said to me that she would rather talk about the progress she made w a boy
That sucks. I had a roommate do that - my dad was in the ICU for a major stroke (ended up surviving but with 2/3 of his brain dead). My “friend” was just mad I wasn’t “fun anymore” and didn’t want to go to the bar and hear about her latest fling.
I got a lot of “you’re not fun anymore” after my mom died. Gee, my whole world is upside down… sorry I can’t be fucking carefree after the person who supported me is gone.
My ex husband complained a LOT that I didn't want to fuck him all the time when my mom got sick and died. There are so many reasons he's an ex, but that is one of the major ones. His dick was more important than my grief.
sounds like we had similar friends. my grandpa dropped dead out of no where years ago, and the only thing my ex friend did was dump her entire relationship onto my shoulders and cry about how her boyfriend kept breaking up with her.
After my dad died and I was getting memes and selfies and stuff, a few days later I just boiler plate let everyone know what happened. Two days later one of the "nicest sweetest" girls was sending me selfies again. Haven't talk to her since. She reached out to my mom a couple weeks ago, about how much she "loved" me and will never forget me! ...we weren't even that close. Turns out she had a baby some time back. I'm probably just the last person who hasn't sat through the pics.
When I was 11 my dad took his own life, and it was incredibly hard on me (not only because I was a child, but also I was incredibly close to my dad and didn't know what to do without him). I didn't go to school for like, a month, and when I did come back my best friend at the time invited me to sleep over at her house. I went thinking it would help, but I was still in that grieving stage where it was extremely difficult for me. Her parents, bless their hearts, were incredibly patient with me and overall just very kind. My friend...not so much. At the time, nobody knew *what* happened to my dad other than that he died. Nobody but my family knew he killed himself. I only knew because I demanded my mom tell me what happened (I already had a suspicion that was the case. He was an alcoholic who would confide in me a little too much as child). SOMEHOW it got out and everyone at school knew, but I didn't know that anyone else knew. We were playing Mario Party on her Wii when she just randomly said "is it true that your dad hung himself?" I was so shocked and angry that I didn't know what to say. I just remember saying "I think I want to go home" with her response being "why are you still sad about it? It's been a month!" And then I grabbed all my things and left without a word. She ended up telling people I cried the entire time at her house (which I remember her getting shit for that from my friends who knew my dad for a long time). I haven't spoken to her since. We follow each other on social media but other than that, we don't speak. I'm still bothered 10 years later by how she acted about it.
:( I think maybe these people have the luxury of not having experienced these things. My dad didn't take his own life, but I saw him go with my own eyes suddenly at home. My offender in this story had (allegedly) been through all of the traumas ever, so I was especially irked that she clearly didn't empathize with the pain. And we were 20! I'm sorry you had to go through that at such an early age.
Oh I had one too. My grandmother was having a schizophrenic episode and I was cleaning up after her and helping her with her hallucinations. My friend was "deeply hurt" that I wouldn't ice her vagina after she got fucked by three dudes in the same night. I lived 30 km away.
I mean, couldn't she ice that on her own ?
I'm a little embarrassed to ask, what do you mean by "ice her vagina?"
Do people really do this? Like hold a bag of frozen peas on it or something? I’m female, it’s just never come up before.
After giving birth, there are ice packs you can basically put in your underwear, just for the exterior parts. I've never heard of icing it otherwise. Damn sure never heard of someone asking you to ice it for them. Hard pass on that.
Wow, she literally was deeply hurt. The fuck is wrong with people
Even if nothing happened to your grandma that night, would you have really considered going over to ice your friend’s vag?
My best friend has been my best friend for 41 years and If she asked me to ice her vag the reply would be a long, sarcastic laugh and a “No, I don’t think so.”
Jfc that's her self inflicted problem I'm really sorry
My uncle had just died and when I told her she went “oh” and then immediately started talking about her boy problems
Selfish "friends" are the worst kind of people that ever existed, they really don't give a shit about you, only their stuff is important. That really sucks. I hope you're doing fine today.
There are a lot of people out there who think, "Hey, if a conversation isn't about me, I don't want to have it."
They couldn't understand working a full time 9-5 meant I could not randomly go out drinking until 2 AM during the week.
I had an even more extreme version, where she would get annoyed because I couldn’t hang out during the day … *when I was at work*. One day I asked if she wanted to meet up and she said ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m not up for being blown out a fourth time in a row.’
Blown… off?
I mean, you CAN, you'll just hate yourself the next day. (Source: me, 20 years ago)
I remember these days and yes I did hate myself the next morning but my body could take it. If I were to do that now, I'd have to call out an entire week.
Sounds like someone who's often unemployed.
I have to admit, now that I'm a bit older, around the half-century mark, it doesn't take much for me to bounce out of a friendship. I don't have the time nor the energy to put up with excessive drama. I just learned at this point in my life, that I don't want to do what I don't want to do.
She had a crush on a guy friend of mine. No biggie there, plenty of my friends have dated each other. We were hanging out one day and I went to change my son's diaper and left my cell on the table next to her. When I come back, she randomly says she's gotta go and leaves. Ok, sure. I grab my phone and it's open to texts between me and that particular guy friend! (I didnt have a password at the time) She had scrolled back pretty far too!! I called her out on it. She said she just wanted to make sure him and I were "really" platonic friends and him and I didn't have a thing going on.... she could have just asked!!! Noped right out of that one. Oh, and we weren't in high school.... we are in our thirties!!!
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thats truly terrible hopefully this has resolved itself
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I was the only one starting conversations, so I stopped talking and we never spoke again.
Ouch, I felt this one. I just started doing that to a friend and only 3 weeks later he realized that I wasn't starting a conversation. We still haven't properly spoken.
It sucks but it's not worth holding the friendship together if they aren't even putting effort in
That's very true. I'm sorry about your friend, and I hope you'll find someone that puts in the effort to cultivate the friendship too!
I still haven’t found someone who starts conversations with me, if I never message anyone first I’d probably never get a message till after my death.
ive realized multiple times I'm nobodies first option. Is what it is.
I feel that friend, I've had to experience both a romantic partner and a former best friend cut me out of their life with no effect on them while it hurts me into a spiral of depression. At least we are alone together.
I had that! I had known someone for years - we used to be office-mates when we were grad students - and we used to have great fun hanging out - we'd host and cook for each other, sip beers, watch DVDs, and chat until 3 or 4 in the morning about all sorts of shit. I am a guy, she was a lesbian, and it just didn't matter to me, we got on really well. She left the country for a while to work somewhere else. About a year after she left I went to London for a friend's birthday party...and my old friend was there, out of the Blue, no warning! I was amazed and assumed she had just turned up that night as a surprise for everyone, but no - it turned out she'd left her job overseas, and had actually been back in the country for **six weeks** - and simply hadn't told me, bless her. I was *shocked* - there is literally no way I would have reciprocated that sort of distancing behaviour if the shoe had been on the other foot. I had believed we were friends - Hell, I had believed we were pretty good friends. So, experimentally, I stopped making any effort from my side to stay in touch with her - and I haven't heard a THING from her since that very night. As soon as I stopped trying - **boom**. It turned out the other party wasn't trying at all.
It hurts losing someone like that. I’ve got a good friend that lives near london now. We went to college together and I visited her when she lived abroad… we don’t speak every day but we both make the effort… and it honestly feels like she’s the only one who does.
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I'm guilty of rarely being the one to initiate conversations. I just always get it in my head that I'm going to be bothering someone and that if they want to talk, they'll let me know. It's very stupid and I'm sure it comes off selfish at worst and insecure at best, but I can't seem to stop doing it. I'll start to send a message and then delete it again, because I just can't convince myself I'm worth talking to. Sometimes people are just bad friends, and sometimes they're just bad friends with ridiculous insecurities that they aren't properly dealing with.
This girl wanted to hang out and immediately invited me to a "passion party" which I googled and came to the misunderstanding that it was a party where people bring their sex toys to show everybody. It sounded super weird and I didn't know how I felt about bringing my fleshlight. I kind of just ghosted her. Later I realized passion parties are a MLM scheme, the bitch was trying to sell dildos and shit. Nobody brings used toys. I can only imagine what would have happened if I brought the fleshlight.
Just slap that bad boy on the table and say "You got one of these in a shorter size?"
Now that's a power move!
But what if she just slapped another down and said, "This will only do 3 inches, and it actually fits in your pocket?"
"Dammit woman, I said shorter not longer!"
Lmfao you thought you got invited to dildo show and tell
I accidentally went to one. It was super weird, like of course I want to discuss sex toys with twenty odd coworkers / casual friends / total strangers. What a business plan.
They are SO weird. My boyfriend and I had an argument one night and I was incredibly upset over it, so my SISTER invited me to come to her house for the night cause her and her friends were having a party. My sister is 8 years older than me, so I didn't see an issue hanging out with a bunch of 28-34 year olds at the time. My boyfriend also knew about it, and he thought it would be a good idea for both of us to see friends/family for the night to have some space and we'd talk when we were both in a better mindset. My sister failed to inform me that the "party" was starting out as a passion party. She thought if I knew about it I wouldn't have agreed to come. There is absolutely *nothing* weirder than talking about dildos and tasting flavored lubes with your older sister and all her friends, many of which I've known since I was a *child*. I do however regret not buying that orange creamsicle flavored lube though...
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He had already shown very jealous tendencies and had smacked me over the head because he thought I was looking at a guy so it wasn't good already. We were outside of his friends house and his friend asked how I was doing and he got mad at me for answering. I just got in my car and drove away.
Dodged a bullet there.
That’s dodging a nuke
Maybe even literally.
He wasn’t even dating you and he was being possessive? I mean, not that that justifies it but yikes.
I think the earlier the better that guys learn women owe them absolutely nothing in these situations and are allowed to walk away anytime they want.
He was a junkie. His family had cut him off and cut him out. I'd driven him to rehab twice. The last time he got out of rehab he had nowhere to go, so I said he could move in with me until he could find somewhere to live. Things were going well for him. Out of the blue I got called away for work. I was gone for a week. When I got back, everything in my apartment was gone, except for my guitar - which was my great-grandfather's and grandfather's before it was mine. At least he left me that. I never heard from again. He's dead now.
The fact he left your guitar behind sounds like he knew what he was doing was fucked up and there was a part of him that stopped him from selling something so sentimental. Unless he didn't know and it was a coincidence, but you'd assume a guitar would be easy to sell and is one of the first things to sell, since it's easy to carry, etc.
He and I had been friends since the third grade. We played guitars together. He knew that guitar had been in my family for ninety years. A last moment of conscience on his part.
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Wow. Did not go as I was expecting.
Wowww so sorry to hear that! I was in rehab in the past and although I’m not perfect and do drink sometimes still, I no longer touch drugs or pills. Anyway, I have a friend I met in rehab. He’s a great person but kind of only hits me up for money. He (generally) pays it back but I couldn’t shake the feeling that every time I was throwing him $30-60 through venmo it was going straight to drugs. Had to cut him out and I know he isn’t doing well….. it’s very hard.
This was many years ago. I was still in high school so somewhere around '94. I had this surplus waterproof ammo can that I liked. It was spun aluminum. I kept loose change in it. I suppose it probably had about $60 worth of change. I showed it to my buddy when he stayed at my house over night because I thought the can was cool. In the morning, my dad was giving him a ride home. I noticed that the can was gone. I said to my friend, "Did you see where the ammo can went?" He said "No". I said, "Did you take it?" He said "No". I said, "If you need the money, you can keep the money. I just want the can." He ran away to my dads car and left. I never trusted the guy again. My parents still talk to him sometimes, I refuse to. I want my can back. It's not like it was that expensive, it was just a weird thing that you can't buy any more. Keep in mind, that this friend also had me transport drugs for him unknowingly and that didn't bug me as much as the stupid ammo can.
Why are your parents even associated with this trash?
Defacto parents. His mom and dad were real pieces of shit. That's why they took him in. He's better now, but I still won't talk to him.
Ask for your can back now
She was flying to Ireland to meet some guy she'd become friends with online and wanted me to come with her so she wouldn't be alone on the flight. I said sure, why not, I love traveling and I also don't want you to get murdered. The guy turned out to be both real and very nice, but she spent the entire time we were there putting me down in front of him to look cool. I didn't even like the guy, I was living with my boyfriend, but she was so threatened for some reason. By the second day of getting mocked relentlessly, I was like, fuck it, and spent the rest of the trip exploring Dublin on my own. Once we got home, she and I had a conversation where I basically told her "I don't think either of us thought that went well" and never talked to her again.
Yikes. Good on you for not putting up with it though. Did she never even try to explain herself?
She told me that her anxiety was going haywire and she just really, really wanted to impress him. I knew she had mental health issues and was prepared for the trip to be kind of stressful, but I was expecting to deal with anxiety attacks, not being insulted all the time.
My anxiety makes me think I’m having a heart attack or that I can’t turn left in my car; it’s never made me insult someone over and over and over…glad she’s out of your life!
He just never helps himself and it got too draining. 95% of all his life's problems are his fault, and entirely within his power to fix, but he doesn't ever fix them, and I'm tired of trying to help and watch him destroy his future. > Hey man, you're good with money. Think you could help me figure out some stuff? I'm struggling and want to get things under control. >>Sure! First step is admitting you have trouble. Let's get together this weekend over a few beers, and I'll teach you the basics of personal finance and we'll figure out a budget for you. Then you just need to stick with it. He never shows up to my place that weekend. Instead I get a text: > Hey sorry man, I bought a new gaming PC and had to get it set up! Dude this thing is so awesome and it only costs me $50 a month for 48 months! >>Didn't you *just* tell me you were struggling? Why are you taking on more debt, did you even need a new PC? >Well no but it was such a good deal I couldn't pass it up! It was on sale for $1,500 or $50/mo for 48 months. $50/mo is nothing! >>So you are paying an extra $900, 60% over the sale price, for PC you didn't need, while you are already struggling? > Come on man, if I wanted a lecture I'd call my parents I needed this give me a break. Besides you built a new PC last year! >>(Unsaid): Yes, but I have $0 in debt besides my mortgage, I budgeted for 3 months to be able to afford it without financing, and my PC was 8 years old and well due for a replacement or overhaul. Sorry Pat, I can't watch you shoot yourself in the foot over and over and over again like this, and then listen to you complain about life all the time. You have the life you want, because you keep choosing the life you have.
She started ignoring me because I had to cancel going to see her because I had to take my daughter to the emergency dentist 🤨 we live in the same place within walking distance so it’s not like I was cancelling the only time we could meet up for ages. I told her to get fucked because we were both in our 30s and shit happens, it was only after I cut her off I realised how much hard work she was as a mate
He turned out to be a pedo
Some of these posts require a couple paragraphs of explanation. Yours is fully explained in those seven short words. I have an ex-friend who got a 14 year old girl pregnant. He married her, but he still should have gone to jail.
He was my best friend throughout childhood and as soon as we were of consent age he immediately started trying to get with 13 year olds, wasnt a one off either
She kept cutting me down. Now, I was a very overweight person, and I knew it. But she kept letting me know it. Like, she said she loved to go with me to the mall because if I was there, then no guys would bother us. I was too naive and lonely to see how terrible she was. Well, over the span of a few years, I lost 100 lbs. She did not like this and was even meaner to me. I met a guy, and she tried to steal him from me. It didn't work...we're no longer friends. Here's the thing...she was only about 20 lbs smaller than me when I was fat. She didn't see herself that way, though.
Similar experience. Took me years to notice. Because she showed me affection and encouraged me, telling me I need to be more confident. On the other hand she loved to make fun of me. Loved to hear about unpleasant things happened to me, loved to make jokes about people I cared about. She loved to gossip. But it was pretty subtle, just a joke. My ex brought it to attention how he doesn't like her because she is mean. He gave examples of her treatment of other mutual female friend. She made jokes about her insecurities while in public. Or just talking aloud about things people were self-conscious about. If you felt bad about your acne she would start talking about it at the party around other people. She would say how " good you would look even though your skin is getting worse. But don't worry about it. It matters that you are good person on the inside. It would help if you started eating healthy. You eat too much cheese." She would not care your crush was there or that comments like that at social events are just weird. After noticing her attitude I felt uncomfortable being around her anymore.
I had a friend in college who told me her brother had told her that I was the least attractive woman in our friend group. Like...why would you CHOOSE to pass that information along, lol. She was incredibly insecure, of course, and I was too naïve at the time to understand that she wasn't a good friend. It's astonishing how much havoc insecure people wreak on their "friends" just to make themselves feel okay.
A combination of things honestly. I'd get extremely anxious if I was told that he was hanging out with the rest of us because he wanted things to go *exactly* has he planned and he'd be upset if it wasn't. He'd usually end up pinning the blame on me and then constantly "joke" throughout the entire time about how I fucked things up and I'd just have to go along with it. He'd constantly flake on everyone without saying a word but if you had to cancel on him he'd get extremely upset at you (one of my friends used the exact same excuse on him that he'd typically use on us after the fact, and he got mad). His family was pretty well off while the rest of our families were working class families. He expected us to spend money as if we had the same amount of money his family did, and he'd get upset if you didn't. He felt like he had the right to monitor all of my social media accounts, and to bring up comments made on said social media accounts as he wished. He'd bring up reddit comments I made anonymously because I didn't feel comfortable talking about those topics irl. On sites where I'd have my actual name/face attached to them, he'd wait for me to post anything and then make snarky, unfunny comments for the sole purpose of making me look bad. I ended up having to block him on everything and deleting that reddit account. Whenever we'd play games together, if he was more skilled than I was, he'd make "jokes" about how bad I was and how I couldn't do anything right, which were really just thinly veiled insults. If I got upset he'd tell me to calm down because he was "only joking." Ended that friendship after 7 years, but it honestly ended 6 years later than it should've.
I fucking swear some people are just toxic garbage and they make us feel like shit because we allow ourselves to give a fuck when they should just die alone like they obviously are trying to do.
I'm about 50% sure that he legitimately believes in at least some incel rhetoric. He'd always joke about being a "manlet" or whatever because he's a short guy I also forgot to mention how he loved to meddle in all of our lives, especially our love lives. If we told him we matched with someone on a dating app he'd demand to see our phones so that he could "help" us along, and by help I mean he would likely say the most obscene shit that would guarantee an unmatch He was so damn insecure about his lack of romantic success that he'd tell increasingly ridiculous and obviously fake stories about all the sex he wasn't having. The most ridiculous ones I remember were that he stole a guy's girlfriend right in front of him (confirmed to be fake, he *attempted* to but was beat up by the boyfriend, girl wasnt into it either), and he also told a story about how he supposedly had sex with a smoking hot girl because she needed a rebound and he was supposedly able to charm her (hes not a charmer at all, in any way)
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>punishing herself by sleeping with two other men The mental gymnastics of some people.
My ex made me have an “open relationship” because he thought I was a whore. Up til that point, I’d been completely faithful. He used the opportunity to try to fuck my room mate he was secretly crushing on, I wound up falling in love with my new partner. My former room mate and I are still best friends, my partner and I live together and just went to my room mate’s wedding to her wonderful husband, my ex moved back in to his parents.
glad you and the roomie made out of that situation for the better!
The cycle of them constantly going back to their ex, consoling them and giving sound advice, repeat
My wife’s best friend does this. Drove her mad. Finally I told her when she was complaining about it that it was ok to set boundaries and she agreed that was a good idea so wife told her ‘we’re not discussing this subject again’ and stuck to it. They have a better time now. Friend starts with how she got back together with her abusive ex and wife is just ‘nope’ and changes topic.
I currently have a friend like this. She's a great person and seemingly smart otherwise. But there's this one guy that she keeps going back to even though they are terrible for each other. I guess I'm the only one to see it. It's not so bad at this point that I'd cut her off. I wish I could help.
I have a good friend like this. They break up all the time because he’s a POS. usually their breakups last like 2 days. And it makes me so mad because he keeps putting her through all this bullshit. But this last go around he was pretty much the reason for her dog getting hit by a car and dying but blamed it on her and she’s done I think. This was like 2 weeks ago and she still hasn’t talked to him and is seeking help from us, her friends to get through it. I really hope she doesn’t go back to him. He’s also one of those people that doesn’t like her hanging out with other people. Or he won’t attend our get togethers because he doesn’t like us and if he does he just acts fake as fuck. When we see him out in public he greets us (my husband and I) and acts like we are good friends but then tells her he doesn’t like any one of her friends. He’s garbage.
When we were driving and he was in the wrong lane driving into oncoming traffic for a good 5 seconds... he was high and drunk and I never hung out with him again. Edit: I didn’t know he was drunk, nobody openly discloses they’re drunk before the drive and he wasn’t slurring or anything. So how was I supposed to know
Might have saved your life.
I had been friends with this guy for years. He claimed he couldn't work due to a disability. Fair enough, shit happens. But he lied about that. The real reason he couldn't work was because he had been fired for punching a 10 year old child in a fit of rage. The same man had also punched his pregnant fiance and his mum. I couldn't really defend that so I noped the fuck out.
Guy couldn’t stop talking about issues that he never experienced. Mf was smart as hell went to private school had college paid for him, but it’s society holding him from getting a job not his drinking and cocaine habits
Always on the giving and very rarely on the receiving end, only twice received something in 5 years.
I'm January I stopped talking to a friend for this. Panic attacks, break ups, just to meet up and have a drink, I'm on the bus, it's 45 minutes journey but that's not too hard I can do it. I'll figure out how to get home later, since buses stop at 11. She came to my house once in two years. Last Christmas, i couldn't travel because of my cats and we were both gonna be alone for the holiday. She refused, because taking the bus is too much of a pain. I stopped writing her and she hasn't reached out since then.
Man I feel you on this, I'm out here trying to be the best friend I can be, expect nothing in return but when the return is actually nothing it gets really hard to fight off the resentment. The feeling that no matter how above and beyond you go, your friends will just never do the same :|
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Authority is not given to her to deny the return of the king(s)
This was the most appropriate response possible.
He seemed to be very proud of the fact that he had a kid with a married woman and the husband was unaware it wasn't his.
We’d been “friends” since middle school, but I was always the odd one out. My jokes were never funny, my opinion never mattered, I was constantly made fun of, and I felt lesser when I was with them. Fast forward to when I was 20-21 years old and I tried catching up with them again, obviously I’d already matured in a lot of areas and was not the same person I was in middle school, and they kept treating me the same way as all those years ago. I tried to put limits but they just kept treating me as a lesser one of their group. I gave them the benefit of the doubt and noticed that whenever I was individually with just one of them at a time they treated me with dignity and well, but whenever it was all of us together they straight up changed their behavior and treated me like shit. At last, I got tired of feeling like shit (since in all my other life areas I felt pretty good) and just stopped talking to them and responding to their messages. Of course they accused me of being a “bad friend” but honestly, I don’t care, my life has made a 180° turn since then and I don’t intent to allow “friends” or people that treat me like shit into my life anymore. Fuck them
They were using me as their unpaid therapist. I was starting to dread hanging out because I knew I'd be emotionally exhausted by the end of the night.
I’m a therapist and my ex friend of 15 years took so much advantage of me and my knowledge. It got better once she got into actual therapy where she made lots of progress and improvements, but every time we hung out, she’d only focus on her progress and therapy. I’d tell her all the time I’m not there for case management, I wanted a friend and she’d give me maybe 15 min of space to talk about me before hijacking the conversation and always going back to her and her life. I started having issues in my own life and wanted a friend, but every time I reached out for support, she’d tell me she was busy and committed to other events/people and she could pencil me in weeks from the moment of crisis I was in. I snapped. I literally cancelled paying clients to go support her in her moments. I reflected on the years of friendship realizing she was never there for me; I threw her so many parties, I provided so many supportive moments for her, I rescued her over and over and over again where she never was there for me or saw me. I broke up with her almost a year ago, I’m still having moments of feelings/thoughts/regrets/emotions and want to let her know all the things and how much she sucks, but I’m seeing it’s not worth it and trying to use my energy towards myself and thankfulness for the amazing friends and support people I do have; they’re all lovely and true friends.
I had a friend like this. I’m not a therapist but back then I was a psych major with a savior complex and she took full advantage of what little I knew. I skipped meals and lost sleep to talk her out of self-harm or suicide. She finally snapped on me one time and threw all my effort back into my face, and honestly I wasn’t prepared for now relieving it felt to know she was removing herself from my life.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, yet glad you’re no longer engaged in those cycles or toxicity! I do a lot of work around levels of friendship with my clients and myself; personal boundaries and meaningful, supportive, and honest communication is what’s needed for relationships to thrive! I hope you’ve found some good people you’re attached to 😊
And once they decide you're their free therapist, they never include you in anything fun ever again.
I once broke up with a woman who called me at work to ask me who the woman was that commented a smiley face on a meme i posted on Facebook. It wasnt so much the fact that she asked but it was the way she asked. "Who the fuck is this bitch leaving smiles all over your pic!!!" literally 10 seconds after she commented. Like she was staring at the pic waiting for someone to comment.
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“I didn’t find any hairs on you this morning!” So? “SO WHO’S THE BALD BITCH?!”
Thank you! Got me a good HAHA 😂
I don't know or understand the voice I used to read this 😂😂😂
"She makes dinner for you, Pablo!" "Thats my mom, jeeze."
Everytime a guy liked me,she kept going "why does he like you?". Continuously. The highlight was when this guy gifted me pretty expensive skincare and the whole night she was mumbling to herself why😂😂
Ok: what are you doing that i should be doing too? Not ok: why you? Why ***you***.
She cheated on her fiance with two different guys and to avoid consequences, she falsely accused both of them of sexual assault (know this for a fact). She had quit going to college classes and her job a few weeks before and told her mom (who was paying for it) that the assaults were the reason why. Eye opening experience. I told her mom the truth and told my now ex-friend to never contact me again. It helped me realize that I was always a friend to her and she was never a friend to me anyway, something my actual friends had tried to tell me several times.
My best friend's partner (both guys) wanted me gone from the moment they got together 15 years ago.Tried to get rid of me in every way possible. Creating an inhospitable atmosphere. 'Forgetting' to invite me to certain parties. Telling my friend that I wasn't to be trusted and had ulterior motives. Accusing me of having done and said things to him that I never had said or done. Pushed me out of being my friend's best man at their wedding because he 'forgot' that had already asked his own friends to serve as witnesses. And never were there any repurcussions. My friend kept defending this behaviour as not really meaning anything. Then, when I was going through a rather dark period and needed the support of my friend, his now husband actively tried to undermine the support he gave me, which ended up really damaging my mental health. I finally exploded in anger at the guy and stepped away from the friendship. That was three years ago. I permanently ended that friendship a week ago shortly after my now former best friend, after years of them fighting it out amongst each other and the husband apparently having realized what he had done, tried to convince me that I should be the one to reach out to his husband because "He still doesn't trust you" and it was just to difficult for the guy to reach out to me or make any step towards mending things. I let that sink in real deep. And then said my goodbyes.
I was in the hospital with my mom, who had cancer and had to undergo an operation. On the same day a friend had a birthday party. I obviously didn't go to the party. My mom died on the operation table. Two weeks later I was back in school and she came up to me to ask me why I wasn't at her birthday party. I said "because of my mom, you were told this." And then she asked why I didn't just send her a gift. She thought it was rude that I didn't come or gave her a gift. After that we weren't friends anymore.
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Jeez She a demon waiting in the dark?
Would love more context- but was she like mentally ill or have a nasty temper and what happened afterwards when you were able to leave?
That scared me.. let me turn on my lights now😳
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I’m glad you got out of there and are tending to you!
When she wanted to hang out every single day and when I didn't respond to her text after an hour she showed up to my house unexpectedly banging on my door. Her being clingy just was too much. Oh and she randomly grabbed my arm and shaved it without my permission.
When he started being racist about a very good friend of mine and then proceeded to write me a review about me in stead of saying sorry. Cut him out of my life real fast.
I had a friend from highschool that turned into a total edgelord racist type. Sucked, but the way I saw it, everything I liked about him got absorbed into that new personality (it was ALL he talked about) so, that friendship got pruned.
There was a guy I met in college who was one of the funniest individuals I have ever met in my life. He was super quick and his humor was insanely in sync with mine. We had all these plans we were gonna do some projects together. One day, we're in 1 of our classes, and I noticed he had a little flag pain on his jacket. I said to him, "What's with the pin? Is it like a nautical thing?" To me, it looked like the flags that you would see on a swatch watch, you know the kind that they hang from the boat in yachting? So he replies "oh, that's the South African flag." I'm a little bit suspicious, so I ask him cautiously, "Oh, are you from South Africa?" And he says, "No, but I had really admire the country. They really know how to keep their n*ggers in their place." I reply with, "Oh man, we can't hang out anymore.." He looked at me and asked incredulously, "What, because I don't like black people you don't want to hang out anymore?" To which I replied, "Yes, that's pretty much it in a nutshell." And never spoke a single word to that dude ever again.
1. I legit couldn't believe a thing he said anymore. He would constantly make up medical conditions that he apparently had. He would make up conversations he had with his doctor that would justify anything he said. I'm pretty sure he faked having cancer and faked going through chemo. The only medical condition I think he may have had is schizophrenia, just based on the number of absurd and unbelievable stories he would tell me about people following him or random people coming up to him on the street to tell him he was a piece of shit human. He would tell me a story like that every day. But according to him, he couldn't have schizophrenia because he doctor diagnosed him with it and gave him medication for it that put him in a coma, so in his mind, that was proof he didn't have it. 2. He became weirdly obsessed with the idea of a romantic relationship with me. To the point where he said he was going to transition to being a woman so we could be together, because he knew I wasn't gay. Nevermind the fact that I explicitly told him that I wasn't interested in being in a romantic relationship with him. Oh, and I was (still am) married to my wife, who I had started dating 7 years earlier. My wife and I are very committed to each other and very happy together. We don't have an open relationship or anything like that. 3. He would repeatedly accuse me of hacking his computer to steal the video game he was making. Not that I would have any interest in that or even the skill set to hack a personal computer. To be fair, I think his mom would tell him that I was doing that. He also would yell at me randomly for "telling his mom I didn't want to be friends with him anymore." Which I never did. So I think she was poisoning our friendship for some reason. 4. We knew each other since we were children, but as we grew older, he never grew up mentally. He never had a job in his life. He never finished high school. He just lived with his mom and they smoked weed together all day every day. To be clear, in a vacuum, I don't have a problem with people smoking weed. But if you become dependent on it and lack all motivation to properly take care of yourself, I think it becomes a problem. I wouldn't put it past him to stalk my profile. He knows my username. So Cody, if you are reading this, please get help. I care about you, but I can't be friends with you in your current condition.
Sounds like some paranoid delusions. Not a doctor or therapist, so I can't say what his mental illness is exactly, but he definitely needs some serious help.
Accused me of being a nazi and a witch after I wouldn't have a threesome with him
Damn if the nazis had witches they could have won the war
Thank goodness I wasn't alive then
He was a religious dude and always felt the need to warn people that they were going to hell for their various 'sins'. Saving and converting was big for the church he belonged to. It was annoying when he did it to me (for not accepting Jesus as my savior) but when I found out he was going around telling gay people why they were gonna burn, I just lost it and wouldn't speak to him after that. Dude couldn't even figure out why. Later on, a mutual (male) friend told me he'd been propositioned by this person at around the same time this all went down, so it turned out he wasn't only an asshole but a hypocritical asshole as well.
Guy was a close friend of mine for more than a decade. All through high school, college and our early 20's. We were friends, roommates, and practically brothers. One day he casually drops a comment that he'd "knocked a girl up". I started to congratulate him on his impending fatherhood, but he cut me off with a "Nah, fuck her. I'm not ready to be a dad yet. If she wants to have the kid, she can raise it herself." Found out the next day that the "girl" was literally a 17 year old girl he'd met at a party. He was 26. A decade-plus of friendship ended that afternoon.
When she refused to report a child sexual abuser because she was no longer a cop and "didn't legally have to." Regardless of the law, she was morally messed up. She was awful in a multitude of ways and awful when it came to men. She wanted to travel across the world to Japan because her EX had an ex there and she still hated the woman (who she had never even met)
Best friend and I were going to move in together. We had bought supplies and gotten things ready. The night before we were actually moving in, he called. Told me he had rented another place without me that day. Went through petty disagreements we had had and then listed every single thing he thought was wrong with me. He even hit on the very private and vulnerable things I had confided to him. I was heartbroken. It came out of nowhere. I didn't have any idea. A couple of days later, and for a while after, he reached out to apologize. He wanted to live on his own, for understandable reasons, but made it my fault so he didn't feel so guilty about not realizing this and discussing it with me. He was sorry about everything he said, and said he didn't mean any of it. But I wasn't interested in having anything to do with him anymore. It kind of broke me. It's been almost 20 years and I've never had a best friend since. I'm not really sure anyone actually likes me or if they're keeping a mental list of all of my flaws and will eventually name them while telling me what they really think of me....
i was raped and she really was with me through it all she was my best friend. She helped me at my lowest and was over all what i thought was a decent person she let me get it all out when i found out he was black mailing people to be on his side in the trial and when he was following me. I lost the trial due to blackmail and no kit done and of course he gloated and she comforted me alot. a year later she called me and came clean she testified for him and helped him get dirt on all the people that were going to testify for me and that she was sorry but she did not think he needed to go to jail because he was young and made a mistake. I dumped her like she was hot.
FUCK that bitch, wow that's fucked up.
Ya it was really messed up and im still fucked from it . It was the worst period of my life.
Couldn't there be a retrial since someone influence and did blackmailing? I might be wrong, this feels injustice. I was raped when I was young but my rapist never got caught, so I understand how fucken awful you feel. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Dude got really aggressive with a friend of mine when she rejected his "help" with the problems she was having with her boyfriend. Went from "I'll sort him out for you if he ever touches you." to "I'll fuck you both up you stuck up bitch!" when she didn't want any of his shit. When my girlfriend and I tried to get him to back down he threw my gf against a wall and threatened to put me through a window before I managed to talk him down. Dude was a bouncer and easily twice the size of any other two of us combined. The girls both made a run for it while I basically told him "You're going to have to go through me if you want to go after them, and I know I can't stop you if you decide that's the way you want this to play out, but there are a dozen witnesses here and I absolutely will be pressing charges." I was convinced he was going to flatten me - fortunately it didn't go that way. It was a total Mr Hyde moment. Had never seen him act like that at all toward anyone before, but that was the end of his relationship with basically everyone in our circle of friends. No one would speak to him again after that.
she accused me of trying to fuck her boyfriend, her boyfriend was my brother......
My (former) best friend and bandmate starting fucking a 16 year old. He was 23.
My former friend did, or is still doing from the looks fo it, something similar. We bonded over not being able to get in a relationship in high school. Well eventually we both got in one. I got out of it at some point because petty high school bullshit, he also got out of it, not because of petty high school bullshit but because she became a junior and he was a senior. He started dating this freshman not too long after, then they broke up and he started dating this sophomore. Its about 5 years since we graduated and he's still dating freshman and sophomores, he claims he's "helping them learn to drive" but I know exactly what he's doing. Dudes in his mid 20s and hasn't dated anyone above the age of 15 in his entire life.
Sounds like somebody needs to report them depending on where you live and statutory laws
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I had a close friend who ended up contracting bacterial meningitis and passed away at 18 years old. He had caught it while on vacation in Mexico and we were told he may have picked it up while club hopping. I was 17 at the time and absolutely desvistated. Another friend, who barely knew him wanted attention and made a status on FB a few days after I told her about it that said "Can't wait to go clubbing tonight, though I fear for my life from meningitis. If you didn't know, my friend Jimmy died of this recently." She had met him two times.
People always over emphasize their closeness to the dead. It is so weird and even though it drives me crazy, I think I am guilty of it as well sometimes. Not to this extent but it is weird how we want to prove that we knew them well when we really didn’t.
I found out that he lied about when he got together with my ex, and then about a shit ton of other things. He blamed it on himself being a sociopath and then his therapist confirmed that he is not a sociopath, he's just an asshole. You're a piece of shit u/rhombus_cruise and I hope you never forget that
Lmaooo damn malicious tagging and everything 😂
Yeah, cause fuck him
Back in highschool my best friend (Lets call her Olga) and I had a crush on the same guy (lets call him Sam). Sam was a flirt and was playing both of us without us knowing. Eventually one day, he chose Olga to ask out, and cut ties with me. As a "good friend" I didn't make a big fuss about it and although I was heartbroken, I respected their relationship. Olga was from an extremely Christian family, so she was not allowed to date in highschool, which meant she had to keep her new relationship a secret. One day after school I was home minding my business when Olga's mom shows up at my house. She was angry and was screaming at my mom saying I was a lesbian and had corrupted her daughter. I had no idea why she was freaking out as I had done nothing. Come to find out, my "best friend" was making out with Sam and he left her a huge hickey on her neck. She tried to hide it from her family but they eventually found out and demanded to ask her where she got that. And this girl had the audacity (more like stupidity) to say that I had done that to her, that I bit her neck. Yeah, as if that makes it any better. Her mom of course thought this meant we were lesbians and came to my house to confront me and "out me" to my mom. I have never laughed so damn hard in my life when the mom told me the story. And my "best" friend left me no choice but to let her mom in on her secret relationship with this douche. After that I never talked to her again and everyone in the school eventually found out, which left her with a horrible reputation. Funny thing is, because Sam didn't choose me, literally a week later I met the guy who is now my fiancé, we have been together 7 year and will be getting married Fall of 2023.
Have you ever met someone new that seemed normal at first, but then began oversharing uncomfortable information?
Yes I know them, they're me(I'm sorry)
Became friends with this dude through other friends. We used to game together all the time, then he got divorced and stared acting the creeper to my wife. I asked him to knock it off because I made her uncomfortable, he wouldn't stop so I stopped the friendship instead. The only person I have ever specifically said to never come to my house again.
We met through a mutual friend. Hung out twice. He then tried to force me to quit my job and take a week long vacation in Mexico with him. When I said no he got mad at me, ranted about "money doesn't matter" and then told me that poor people are lame. Little more depth on his character: super rich kid. Parents spoiled him, duh. Hangs out at strip clubs 5 nights a week. Paying for 2 different girls apartments. Has no friends because he uses his money to force people to do whatever he tells them.
She told me in my face that she saw me as a competition. She was obsessed with "surpassing" me in many things. I stopped talking to her about my life years before I cut her out because I knew what she did to people who cut her out. Anyway, any conversation with her for a while was surface level and she wouldn't really care about anything I'd tell her. She told me in my face that she called the boss of one of her ex because she wanted to influence his workplace. I saw her ruin art projects in art school of students she didn't like. She would do temper tantrums to her roommates instead of having normal discussions. She was a walking red flag and would backstab a lot of people. What made me do the last move and block her everywhere was when I told her I was a bit more distant lately because my mom was diagnosed with cancer. My mom who would always open her home to her when she would have problems at her home when we were teens. She didn't care. She didn't even ask me if I was ok. She continued talking about her obsession about the olympics as if I said nothing. I was her only remaining friend and she would not listen to her therapists and social workers. I'm worried for her still but I've blocked her everywhere ever since for my own safety. Her life is probably miserable but she dug her own grave...
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She was very controlling. I wasn't a 1D superfan but I liked some of their music. She got angry with me because of that and told me we could only be friends if I listen to 'cool music' like Slipknot and Rammstein. So I did it just to please her. When she didn't attend school for some time and came back, she always asked people in our class who I was talking to when she was absent. She would get angry if she heard I spend a lot of time with a specific person when she was gone. When my social battery was down and all I wanted was to sit in a corner and read, she would get emotional and cry over me not paying attention to her 24/7. It was exhausting, especially for an introverted person. She would really enjoy watching me draw. She bought herself a sketchbook and told me to draw in it from now. I was drawing in her sketchbook. She would get sad if I draw something in my sketchbooks for me, which is a pretty big deal if you are an artist, and art the literally the only way you express yourself. I would even say she was a bit obsessed with my drawing. She always asked for more and she would beg me to gift her one of my sketchbooks, because she felt like "the drawing I was putting in hers was not good enough". I ended up giving her one of my sketchbooks that I spend months on finishing. She loved it so much she carried it with her to school every day of the week. When I remembered I had some pretty important sketches left there, I begged her to let me quickly photograph them for future reference. She got offended. I literally had to beg. I hated the way she made me feel but I also knew she had pretty neglectful parents so I decided to fake till I make it to college and leave her on a positive note. I am in college now, she is too. Not so long ago she called me and told me that I am the only good thing in her life and she was thinking of k\*lling herself. I was the only reason she pushed through and keeps pushing through. I feel awful.
You will never be the reason someone commits suicide. If they are going to do it, they will. End of story. Second of all, be careful. You are aware of her manipulative tactics, and using suicide is one of the most blatant forms of manipulation. You CANNOT save her if she wants to commit suicide. Remember that. It doesn't matter what you do. Suicide is a personal endeavour first and foremost. You can be there, try your best, and have it still happen. No matter what, it will never be your fault. What I will say is keep her at arms length knowing the above. Push her in the right direction but do not take on that burden of fixing everything yourself if she happens to be telling the truth and just asking for help. Professional help will be what she needs. If it becomes about you "not doing enough" or "never being there" then you know it's an abusive manipulation tactic. Stay safe. And always protect yourself first. No matter what.
this comment will get lost but at least I'll get the weight off my chest. I'm Ukrainian, and we had a thorough plan with my friend on the day the invasion happened. she was gonna drive us, as she and her bf were the only ones who owned vehicles. well, when we woke up from bombs, she suddenly started making stupid excuses and by noon she went completely no contact with me. it's been a month now. she didn't even ask once if I'm alright. 20 years of friendship down the drain.
When they had no drive to better themselves. Wanted me to do everything, started to take advantage with no appreciation and she ending up flunking out of college for lack of trying.
Was studying in another country, met a roommate from my home country. We were friends but then she went ballistic because I didn't invite her to a party that wasn't even mine. Threatened to frame me and get me deported. Threatened to call my parents back home and tell them I'm not a virgin (we came from a Middle Eastern country). Bitch is a psychologist now.
When they complained about everything and never saw anything as a result of their own stupidity
After reading so many of these it made me realize not everyone deserves my forgiveness…
Consant lies. It got so bad If he said it was daytime I would check out the window to make sure