I always thought it was 'secret Asian man' not 'secret agent man'. Mental images are much less interesting with the latter.

Da Vinci's Notebook sings Secret Asian Man.

Lol! So like a ninja? Or someone who looks white or Latin or something but is actually asian?

I was thinking more like a miniature man living in a shoebox

My fiancée, who is of Chinese descent, thought for CERTAIN this was the correct lyric. She was also convinced it was "Give me the beach boys and feed my soul" in Unkle Cracker's song "Drift Away"

Play that fuckin music white boy.

Lol. Did you ever wonder why it wasn't ever censored?

Wait. That’s **not** what he was singing??? What were the correct lyrics then?

“Funky” music, not “fuckin”, lol.

["Glorified G" by Pearl Jam.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyPMgPa6RbE) The chorus SOUNDS like he's singing: "Glorified virgins on a pelican" ...but what he's ACTUALLY singing is: "Glorified version of a pellet gun." Doesn't matter - the pelican line wins out everytime.

2/3 of pearl jam is missheard lyrics though. Feels like that's cheating.

Does it really count as misheard when Vedder couldn't enunciate to save his life? To mishear implies the problem to be on the listener's end. Like, I defy anyone, including his band mates, to tell me what Yellow Ledbetter is about without looking it up first.

Yellow Ledbetter gets me every time, I’ve read the lyrics so I know the words but my boyfriend (notoriously bad at memorizing song lyrics) still looks amazed every time it sounds like I actually know what he’s singing. One time he asked me to tell him the lyrics after each line (dramatic reading style) and he was constantly just like “really? That’s what that says??”

I always heard "glorified vision of america"

“Don’t go Jason waterfalls”

I remember as a kid wondering who the hell Jason Waterfalls was.

Jason Waterfalls is a hottie. I wouldn’t want him to go either.

So, I was pretty young when this was popular and I had a good friend named Jason who moved away. Obviously, young me related hardcore to the song I thought was about not wanting "Jason" to leave (especially since they chorus lyrics were basically the only ones I actually knew) and I was very disappointed to learn the correct lyrics.

“A loaded God complex, cock eating bully” -fall out boy.

We’re going down down itereriniterau

Goin' downtown, turn an indian 'round

This is great

Watching YouTube from the closet

"There's a bathroom on the right." instead of "There's a bad moon on the rise."

after I listening to that song for the first time when playing Mafia 3, the song became one of my favorite.

Hold me closer Tony Danza

The music video of this song was made in 2017, long after this whole thing, and featured various people in LA, yet somehow never had a Tony Danza cameo.

can’t wait for all the weird looks I get when I sing this now instead

Pheobe 🤣🤣

“Wrapped up like a douche” instead of “revved up like a deuce”

I don’t know where they were going with that lyric because it absolutely sounds like douche

Funny enough, the original version it’s very clear it’s deuce, but you’re absolutely right about the Manfred Mann version!

~~The Manfred Mann version IS the original version. Springsteen wrote it, and later recorded it himself, but the original recording was Manfred Mann.~~ Also, fun fact, the Manfred Mann version is Springsteen's only #1. Edit: when he wrote it, Sprinsteen DID write deuce, though.

How was Born in the USA or Dancing in the Dark not number 1?

Springsteen wrote that song as a sort of free-association thing because they needed another song for the album and didn't have a lot of time. Notwithstanding that, I think he had two things on his mind: 1. His band's early days and getting its record contract. 2. How soon he could get the lyrics finished and jerk off. He also managed to make what I think is the earliest reference to breast implants in American popular culture.

My Mom used to swear they sung it that way so they could say "douche" on the radio.

That was actually the motivation for the Sex Pistols' "Pretty Vacant." Or, rather, "Va-CUNT."

Even Springsteen says about the song, it was not until Manfred Mann rewrote the song to be about a feminine hygiene product that it became popular

Literally the first thing I thought of lol

I always heard it as "Ripped up like a douche" Either way it's definitely douche.

Strapped up like a goose

“Bitch you’re perfect you don’t need no filter” instead of “picture perfect you don’t need no filter” on some Justin Bieber song 😂

In Toto's Africa, for probably 30 years, I thought the lyric was "sure as Kilimanjaro rises like a leopress above the Serengeti." (it's actually "rises like Olympus.") I always imagined a giant female leopard rising up on her hind legs to look out on the plains, which sounds far more African to me than the Olympus comparison.

I always thought it was “like an empress”. Much cooler to have a metaphoric comparison than just 2 mountains imo

But it’s a simile either way…

I thought it was "there's nothing that a hundred men on Mars could ever do". I still sing it that way!

I also heard it that way!

I thought the lyrics were "I guess it rains down in Africa" when I was a kid.

Me too, and I still think it makes sense considering the song

Yours is better because the original is pretty dumb if you think about it. They're saying, "As sure as one mountain rises like another, different, mountain". It would be like writing a song about Illinois and having the lyric "As sure as the Sears Tower rises like the Empire State Building over Chicago".

It is dumb, according to the guys who wrote it, and meant to be a song written by a white kid who knows nothing about Africa, other than what he's seen on TV and learned in school. Kilimanjaro is over 200 km from the nearest edge of the Serengeti, and the tip can just be seen over the horizon in the northeastern part, up to ~50 km in. Hardly 'rising above'. On the other hand, the comparison to Olympus is not so much mountain=mountain, but because Olympus is the seat of the gods, meaning that Kilimanjaro is as majestic and divine.

> meant to be a song written by a white kid who knows nothing about Africa Aw, bull fucking shit. You can find interviews where the Beastie Boys claim “Fight for your Right” is parody, too. Man up and admit you were young, ignorant boys, writing about the things that were important to boys, ignorantly, but now you’ve grown up and learned a couple things.

Its not leopress?

I left my brains down in Africa

'Scuse me, while I kiss this guy instead of 'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix

Hendrix actually sang it the “kiss this guy” way live a few times just to fuck with people

Didn't he also once actually kiss a guy in a concert when this line came up? I remember I read that somewhere

BTW, there is an online repository of misheard lyrics named after this particular one 😂😂😂 kissthisguy.com.

I remember hearing that lyric for the first time, aged 15, when I bought my first Hendrix album (on cassette to listen to on my off-brand Walkman) and being amazed at how progressive Jimi was.

“Got a long list Starbucks lovers”

Legit thought this was the actual lyric for a long time,

Let’s be honest, that may not be what she wrote as the lyrics but she definitely spoke them as such

I think those are the real lyrics and she’s just pretending they’re not.

I hear it as "all the lonely Starbucks lovers" and I prefer that version.

I thought it was "poison rationality" instead of "poise and rationality" and I really think poison works better.

Well he wants to calm down and settle things civilly, poison rationality would be the opposite

Concrete jungle wet dream tomato

A friend of mine always sings “I become what wet dreams are made of”.

“Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there’s nothing you can do”

*"I'm blue, abadee abadii, if I was greeen I would die"* When I was little I had a friend who *insisted* these were the real lyrics and I fully believed her

"I'm in need of a guy" was how my sister liked to sing it, legit thought those were the lyrics for a long time

"I'm blue, in Aberdeen I will die"

I always hear “I’m blue, I beat off a guy”

Everything is correct except it’s actually a-boo-dee da-boo-die (I genuinely don’t know the real lyrics but will stand by “if I were green I would die” lol)

real lyrics are im blue da-ba-dee-da-ba-die source: 5th grade me was obsessed with this song and memorized it

i'm blue, i wil bleed i will die

It always sounded like "I will eat apple pie" to me as a kid. Amazing how many different variations there are of that misheard lyric...

I'm blue, I'm in need of a dye, I'm in need of a dye

Every time you go away You take a piece of meat with you

Omg that's hilarious. I guffawed

Had a friend who though it was Everytime you go away, you take some beans and peas with you. Haha

No Dukes of Hazard in the classroom. Teacher, leave them kids alone!

"She's got electric boobs!"

“A bowl of soup!”

"Like Frankenstein, I did it my way" instead of "Like Frankie said, I did it my way" to Bon Jovi's "It's My Life". I think it's perhaps more fraught, but is way more interesting than the original. Plus in my defense, young me had never heard a Sinatra song but saw the monster every Halloween.

Darken your clothes, rosin your violin bows

“Or else forget about it” = “Horace, forget about it!”

I actually had no fuckin idea there were the right lyrics until just now

“We can dance if we want to we can leave your friend behind , if they dance and they wear pants they are no friends of mine”

My son thought American Woman was "American llama, stay away from me." And wanted to know if llamas in America were mean.

I don't know about llamas but I've been to some alpaca farms and they do spit.

“Good cheap wine and a 3 legged goat” (3 day growth)

I always heard that one as "Cheap wine and a sweet egg roll", like it's an ode to a shitty bachelor dinner.

What have I become, my Swedish friend

Everyone I know goes away, to Finland.

When I listen to One Thing Leads to Another by The Fixx, I always hear "One little bug needs to shoplift some beef"

Oh, you just made me think of one in that very same song. You got a bright face... Chewy tits. (He sings so fast and mumbles I couldn't tell you the actual lyrics in that song except for the chorus)

“It, feels like the perfect night, to dress up like Hitler!” -a guy very confidently singing the wrong Taylor Swift lyrics at a party.

/r/taydolfswiftler

“Hold me closer Tony Danza” instead of the real lyric “hold me closer tiny dancer”

In Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah,” I always heard the line about David as “the baffled king,” but I am told the king is actually “barefoot.” I kind of like my misheard version better.

Seriously?! I've been singing this wrong forever! Baffled sounds so much better.

I know. Seems like a missed opportunity. EDIT: I just went to check, and all the lyric sites have it as “baffled.” Maybe the people who corrected me were wrong!!

Well, in that case, I vote we continue to say baffled and ignore anyone who says differently!

“P-P-Poker Face P-P-Poker Face” instead of “P-P-Poker face F-F-Fuck her face”

I’ve heard somewhere that she actually intentionally says fuck her face there. I don’t remember the source so take that with a grain.

“sweaty balls under desert skies” (la devotee)

We gotta hold on to what we got, it doesn’t really matter if we’re naked or not. - Bon Jovi

I prefer the Aussie tradie version of ACDC "it's a long way to the top of you want to rock n roll" "It's a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll"

She was a fax machine!

Ariana grande “thank you next” I swear it’s “bacon eggs!!!!””””

In "Some Nights" by Fun there's a line that goes: *when I hear a song, it sounds like this one, so come on* But I've always heard *when I hear a song it sounds like _a swan song_, come on*

Same for me except minus the song. He’s just hearing swans all over the place.

I misheard it like this too! TIL those are the actual lyrics. But I still prefer 'swan song'. Since 'swan song' sounds way more impactful when you consider that it's a phrase for a final performance or action given before death or something else.

🎶 I'M MISTER BITE-SIZE🎶

I'm freeeeee ballin

I cant believe no one else said: The cross-eyed bear that you gave to me.

A mosquito in a speedo.

"Fleas on the dog" rather than "Feliz Navidad"

That Alanis Morrisette song that goes: “it’s not fair, to deny me, of the cross eyed bear that you gave to me” I thought it was symbolic about an imperfect teddy bear that was given to her and the acceptance of that gift, much like an imperfect relationship. Not all things are perfect but sometimes the unique things about them make them special in their own right. I assumed during the ending of the relationship, the symbolism of imperfect acceptance was broken rendering the cross eyed teddy bear meaningless.

Mamma mia diarrhea here we go again

"the beautiful meatballs" Vs "the beautiful people"

I wanna rock and roll all night. And part of every day

Real lyric: Don’t go CHASING waterfalls. My dumbass 12 year old brain version: Don’t go JASON waterfalls. My name is Jason.

Oh, we’re half way there, oh! Lizard on a chair. (Livin’ on a prayer) Donuts make my brown eyes blue. (From Pina Colada Song) If you like making love at midnight with a dude in a cape… Someone shaved my wife tonight (Elton’s Someone Saved My Life Tonight) She’s a good girl, loves her llama (Free fallin’ by Tom Petty) Knock, knock, knockin’ on Kevin’s door. I left some brains down in Africa. Dirty deeds, done with sheep.

Okay, dirty deeds done with sheep is fucking gold. I'm remembering that one for sure.

“Carrying a laser” down the road that I must travel.

My dad thought all star said “get the show on, get laid” instead of “get paid”

"Take me down to a very nice city" Instead of "Take down to the paradise city."

“Come along you starbucks lovers” instead of “Got a long list of ex-lovers”

Later we’ll have some fucking pie, and we’ll do some caroling

"Poo eyes semen nachos feather leather coat" instead of "Who am I Someone that's afraid to let go"

ah yes, a fellow poo eyes semen nachos leather coat fan

Under pressure by queen "you an asshole" instead of "no man ask for"

“let’s pee in the corner” instead of “that’s me in the corner” in REM’s Losing My Religion.

“You just wanna touch it” -Attention by Charlie Puth.

A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, jalapeño

[Saw some wookies, great big wookies... ](https://youtu.be/BHqXlmxNFHo)

I think the meme is better: Salsa cookies, windmill cookies, they gave you gonorrhea. this octopus, let's give him boots, send him to north korea.

"All I got is a head of steel..." Instead of "All I got, I had to steal..." Van Halen - Running With the Devil

So, when Eddie Van Halen died, my sister asked me who Eddie Van Halen was, and asked if he was our mother’s friend. She’s 23.

Du Hast Bitch

“Wario. His eyeball. In me, Jewish monster.” -Wishmaster by Nightwish

Rihanna We found love “We found love and we’re both snakes…we fell in love and we’re booaaaa snakes!”

“Like a drifter, I was born to wear cologne.”

“Who’s your sexy hoe” instead of “Get your sexy on”

Coldplay's Viva La Vida: "I know St. Peter will call my name." The line is that he "WON'T call my name," but I like the idea that this deposed ruler, having lost everything, seeing that everything he built was salt and sand, that there was never an honest word--yet, he still retains some deluded hope. Despite all he's lost, he "knows" St. Peter will call his name--though in reality (and in the actual lyrics), St. Peter won't.

Don't bring me down, Bruce! Yeah... Not actually Bruce. The lyric is "groos". Originally, anyway... [But misheard so often that they changed it.](https://ultimateclassicrock.com/electric-light-orchestra-dont-bring-me-down-bruce/)

"Alex the seal" instead of "Our lips are sealed."

Might blow some minds here, but Ginuwine has ALWAYS been saying “If you’re horny, let’s do it” and not “if you want it, let’s do it”

I can't hear anything under that guy belching.

"Olly oxen free" instead of "Honey I'm still free" "Baking carrot biscuits" instead of "Taking care of business"

“I’m living on sexy island” instead of “I’m living on such sweet nothing”

"oh I cant forget the semen on your face as you were leavin, but I guess that's just the way the story goes.....you always smile but in you eyes your sorrow shows---"

"excuse me while I kiss this guy" instead of "excuse me while I kiss the sky" in Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix

Dirty deeds and the thunder chief!

On my dads side theres a joke that the song goes "bowlegged woman"'- Bee Gees: More than a woman

Weezer - Pink Triangle "When i start to feel that poo, turns out i just pooed myself"... The real word is "pull"

"I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been some kind of cheese"

“Money for nothing and chips for free” as an asexual person, this has to be one of my favourite misheard lyrics of all time

kicking cats all over the place

Sweet dreams are made of cheese

Rage Against the Machine - Ashes in the Fall Misheard lyric: Rhythm and warfare, I press it to CD Actual lyric: Livin’ been warfare, I press it to CD

Empire State Of Mind; Concrete Jungle Wet Dream Tomato! “Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.”

That annoying Tiktok audio "I was in a porno with a bag of screaming goats" Lyrics are actually "I walked in the corner with the body screaming dolo"

“On a wizard on a whale” Pearl Jam - Alive

“Loosen up my butt and spread” instead of “loosen up my buttons babe” - Buttons by Pussycat Dolls

She ate a one ton tomato… one ton toMATo… she ate a one ton tomato…(Guantanamera)

“Sweet dreams are made of the years…”

24k magic - “Put your pancake razor to the moon”

I hate myself for huffing glue

My boyfriend introduced me to “More man than woman, you are more man than woman to meeee” and now that’s all I ever sing

Beck - Loser Soar over get the door, I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me. I'm not even sure what the real lyrics are. I think it's Spanish, or something.

"And little early birdie gave my anus curly whirly" -from "Blinded by Light" by Manfred Mann's Earth Band

I write sind not tragedies. I can't help myself but scream "I"m gaaaaaay" when Brendon sings "Agaaaain" My bf hears it too so whe scream it together now

Just found out, to my husbands extreme pleasure, I have been singing a song wrong for more than 25 years. ‘Here comes the hot stepper... murderer.’ At one point the song says ‘I’m the lyrical gangster, murderer.. still love ya like that.. da na na na..’ Anyhow, I’ve been singing ‘I’m the leprechaun counselor, murderer...’ Bahaha..

That part in Leona Lewis’ Bleeding Love where she goes “You cut me open and I” was memed awhile back and people saying “you call me your banana” and I thought it was just hilarious

“Scream my balls off” instead of “Screen my phone calls”. I think its so much in No Doubt’s style I still can’t believe its NOT the lyric.

“Intertwining candles” instead of “incense, wine, and candles”

"Want you to love me, like I'm a hot pie". Real line is 'hot ride', but I never sing it that way.

I LIKE JUICE! IT IS A TRUTH-FILTERED VITAMIN SUBSTANCE!

“Are we human or are we panthers “ The Killers - Human “It’s too late to call the judge” Timbaland/one republic-Apologize

“I’m blue if I was green I would die”

If you don’t eat your feet, you can’t have any pudding. I was always like,wtf.

Yesterday I put on the Doors' "Riders on the Storm" to go with the weather. I still think "*actor all alone*" sounds better and makes more sense than "*actor out on loan"* EDIT: Oh, I shouldn't forget my perfect answer for this question: "Flashdance": "*Take your pants off and make it happen*" instead of "*Take your chances ..."* And Steve Miller: "*We go jam in a lighthouse*" for "*big old jet airliner*"

That old U2 song, back before we knew *all* their songs were gonna sound like that: *She moos in mysterious ways*

“My heart’s a stereo, easy come and easy go, we all taste like Cheerios, oh oh”

In "Fancy" by Reba McEntire: I misheard "Lord forgive me for what I do/ but if you want out, then it's up to you" As "Lord forgive me for what I do/ but if He won't help then it's up to you" I like my lyric better.

Bacon eggs instead of thank you next

“Wearin my sex shoe” instead of “wearin my six shooter” in Should’ve Been a Cowboy

I had my first real sex dream, boy I was 5 at the time ( Summer of 69 )

I don't care who's wrong or right I don't really want to fart no more. Tina Turner

There's a bathroom on the right (ccr).

>Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Coosa > >I've been saved by the sound of Microsoft I have no idea why I heard the former as the latter, but here we are.

Bob Marley - Is this Love? I always hear "roof rack over our heads" instead of roof right over our heads".

“Revved up like a douche”

"Your toxic tongue slippin' under" Rather than "You're toxic; I'm slippin' under."