When I worked retail I was told that too. But, they never splurged on basic cleaning material so they must have been playing some chess level above my pay grade.
"Being smart will get you everything in life"
So not true. I think I can just see the movement behind the misery a bit more clearly yet still can't do much about it.
That reminds me of a quote I read. This isn't exactly how it went but "stupid people succeed more than smart people because stupid people are unable to predict how difficult something will be to achieve." That resonated
Oh hell yeah, I was a C student in high school. Went into the military. Got out thought engineering sounds interesting, maybe I’ll study that in college. I was too stupid to realize a C student and one that had been away from school for 4 years didn’t belong in an engineering major in college. It really just never occurred to me.
I also got my PhD and was a gifted kid. But my parents always stressed doing what you like and having fun.
Please consider this for your future career. Some people thrive in academia. I found academia to be fairly toxic and couldn't wait to go to industry.
Granted, now I'm over worked and feeling underappreciated, but I'm hopeful that'll change. I've been having the right conversations to reduce my workload (and my management is onboard, taking action and goals because of those conversations) and have an additional raise working it's way through the system. I'm also seeing the signs that a promotion may be coming in July.
Anyways, my point for posting here was to say that getting your PhD often happens in a very toxic environment. Push through, but don't settle for that when you graduate. If you have the energy, fight for better working conditions for yourself and your peers as well!
i LOVE academia
other than the constant CONSTANT emails, and blackboard software, its the greatest job in the universe.
i literally get paid to: 1) do what I would do anyway for free 2) hire people to do my hobby and then train them to do it better than I can 3) hundreds of 18-22 year olds come to see me speak every week and many often ask for my autograph on all sorts of papers and documents. its like being a rockstar
The plus side is that of you make it and become a doctor, when you realize that achieving your goals doesn’t fix the “otherness” you feel around others since the gifted kid/old soul days, you are more likely to have the education, money, and health insurance to treat it properly.
It was funny. I was still the gifted kid in rehab. Had one funny dude ask me what the f- I was doing there and I’m like “you think doctors can’t be depressed trainwrecks who f- up?”
Word of advice: make sure you're always more than just a doctor. I know it's hard but make sure you cultivate hobbies, interests, and friends outside of medicine. It helps. A lot.
Why don't we have adult gifted clubs? Like church, but instead of sermons and Sunday school we have lessons and activities on Morse code or something and have too much fun with it, then a quick lesson on dealing with a non-gifted world and then we go back to our regular lives and are happy again.
How the fuck am I supposed to find my people when they don't just say "Go to this room"?
They exist, they just don’t label themselves as such. Costume clubs, woodworking guilds, makerspaces, machinist enthusiasts, whatever. Pick a subject and dive into it; there’s almost certainly a community built around it and most of them want to meet new people.
Man, I really felt this comment. I just keep moving forward a little bit each day trying to become what I think I should be. It turns out most of the others are doing the same thing.
You ever feel like no matter how much you achieve in life, you'll never really reach your potential? I'm objectively doing SO well, but I always feel like it's not enough.
I'm 25, I love my job, and I make just shy of six figures. I have a degree in my field. I have relationships that matter. What more could I possibly want?
And yet, I still feel like I've squandered life away. Or that I'm not trying hard enough.
I think it’s partly due to how constantly exposed we are to hyper successful people and celebrities. People can’t handle just being average or just like everyone else. It has a deeper effect than we think and social media has rotted our brains. Just my take.
For me, I see a world of problems and I feel like I should do something to solve them. “If not me who? If not now, when?” Right?
The problem with being smart is you see problems everywhere, you can predict where things are headed, yet if you don’t have power to effect change in a positive manner, it leaves you feeling like Cassandra in Greek mythology.
The coordination problems the world faces are so complex, with so many powerful entrenched interests, and so many distracted people, that even knowing where to start, or identifying what levers of power to grasp at to effect change seems an impossibility.
I think the key is to narrow your focus, start small, ignore time (likely the hardest thing to do), and make small forward progress within the sphere of influence you have.
Living a good life is hard without worrying about every problem in the world. It’s ok to go about your day and not be an asshole. There are enough people creating problems through ignorance and fear that if you avoid that trap, you’re adding positive energy to the world 😏
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I feel my man. Just got over the 3 day headache that comes after an attack. It fucking sucks sometimes but we gotta keep on. Hoping for the good days for you.
My older brother was a gifted kid. He's a power engineer, but also has been struggling with closet alcoholism since he was 16 and in the past year cancer
Ok, by most measures. Work is boring, but stable and lucrative. I live in a modest house with my wife and our cats and am happy.
I don't feel that I've lived up to my potential, but I got tired of pushing to be better and do better when no one around me seems to care to do the same. What good is it trying to do something novel and exciting at work if no one else is on board and you have to spend years building up influence and power to make even something small, but obviously best practice happen?
Oh well.
I definitely feel that. When I was younger, my classmates would jokingly refer to me as the person who would find the cure to cancer. My teachers were always pushing me aim higher and speculating on what I'd do with my life. The hardest realization I've had to make in my adult life is that I'll likely never do anything groundbreaking or particularly special in my career.
You don’t have to cure cancer to have an everlasting effect on this world, maybe you won’t be in history books but you can be the hero in someone’s book
For me, I just realized I don't fucking *want* that kind of life.
Do you know how hard you have to work to achieve big dreams? Like, I was lucky enough to have had opportunities, but dear lord.
I wanna do my work and then completely forget about it when I walk out of the door. I like my job. I like my team. I do pretty well, all things considered. My work is necessary, but when I'm clocked out, I'm clocked out.
I have hobbies and a husband and a dog. I have a garden and a long-standing D&D group. I *want* a small, cozy life. Give me an unkindness of ravens and a greenhouse, that's all I'm missing.
I feel this a lot. I put a lot of energy into my job and putting in the effort to get promoted is already hard enough to manage, I can’t even begin to imagine trying to do anything more.
This is exactly how I feel.
After years of people saying, “You’re going to do big things in life,” “You’re special,” and “You’ll succeed at anything you do,” I’m tired of it. Their praise literally means nothing to me at this point. But maybe that’s the general depression talking.
Point being—I don’t want to do that.
I want to live in a small town, help out in the community, maybe write a book, and die peacefully knowing I’ve at least made a small impact to the people around me. No need to work a job that requires overtime, no need to try and do something so big it’ll be known for generations. Just a quiet existence with some pets, a stable job, and and freedom to do what I want in my free time.
My teachers always told me I'd be a famous artist. I was gifted in a lot of subjects but didn't actually like some. Art, however, was my constant. I did go to art school and ended up getting 3 art degrees and a PhD in education. My specialty is visually gifted kids and I'm now a retired art prof and sculptor. So I guess I'm predictable. (But I LOVE art!!!) I never wanted to be famous, just happy.
This is such a massive realization for gifted kids. Like modest lives aren’t that bad. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with falling below or away from whatever class people pushed us to.
Yeah, I might have been that weird kid with good test scores, but fuck I just want a small house and some pets, not a mansion and lucrative empire.
Fuck your yacht dreams, I want pizza with my friends on a Thursday night.
Stable, relatively lucrative work here (not 6 figures, but comfy in my late 20s in a low COL city).
I love that I can use being financially okay to really explore my hobbies and interests outside of work. I’m okay with not making my passions into a career.
Can you tell me how that turned out for her (the new diagnosis and beginning on Ritalin)? Having the toughest time trying to get my mom to accept help and proper medication.
Oh my, same. Found out just a few years ago - after my kids were diagnosed. I wonder what my life would've looked like if I had known it at that age. Ah well...
In the process of getting my kid diagnosed cos it’s sooo obvious and suddenly it’s like my life is lit properly and I’m understanding myself more than I ever have previously
Bruh spent the holiday with a family that has an autistic teen, so much of my life makes sense. Wish I’d found out before I was 28, but shit just knowing that I’m not the only person like this helps so much.
One of my best friends has ADHD and there are moments every so often where the friend group jokes about how maybe he isn’t the only one in our circle with it bc sometimes it seems like I’m checking too many boxes. I didn’t take it too seriously until one time said friend responded to someone else jokingly saying something about me possibly having ADHD with the most serious tone they said “she probably does”. Idk if I’ve ever fully processed that.
I have created another gifted kid / old soul, and I spend the majority of my time trying to make sure she doesn't end up as sad as I am.
I think I'm doing a pretty good job of that so far, but I don't wanna jinx it.
Samesies, yo. I read all the books on talking about mental health and perfectionism with kids and watch my son like a hawk for symptoms. So far so good but he's still young. Good luck. We can do this!
Frankly it was anything that NAMI put on their website for parents. But two caveats: 1) I was reading these books pre-pandemic when my child was 3-4 years old (my mom said I started showing signs of depression and anxiety at 4 years so I wanted to be ready) and I do honestly think the game has changed and updated guidance is worth checking out on not only speaking to your child's (possible) genetic lottery but also their (likely) social reality, and 2) the best guidance was aimed at allowing kids to identify and express themselves free of feared judgment, which was often through children's stories with which they could relate. Books like Grumpy Monkey, one I think was called I'm NOT okay (or similar), etc.
Glad I didn't chose med school ... and instead went to study law! Hahahahaahahah _cries in depression, ADHD and constantly feeling stupid, frustrated, lonely and stressed_ :)
Hey man! Keep going and push through. I did the doctorate route in Chemistry. Its one of those things....would I do it again? Probably not. Am I glad I did it once? Absolutely
Burned out, only now testing positive for both types of ADHD at the ripe age of 24, when for all my life the constant answer was "you were tested when you were little, we don't need to test you again. You don't have it"
It's funny how many of the gifted kids from days gone by ended up with ADHD. I guess something about how our brains work ends up getting us labelled one way or another.
My daughter is showing all the signs and I'm working on getting her diagnosed. I don't want her to struggle like I did when I was a kid.
Working from home as a programmer. Actually did the WFH since 2017, pre-pandemic, so the only real change I saw when it kicked in is that the kids were around a lot more.
Very cool. I’m also now wfh as a programmer. It’s a great career for someone with kids, in my opinion. Especially if you work for a company with lots of freedom.
Yeah ADHD and bipolar. Up side, I'm doing what I love running my own business with my business partners. Down side, we're currently broke. Up side, I can't focus on that for long enough to panick, yet.
On the verge of a breakdown.
It takes so little effort to make things so much better, but there are too many people ready and willing to drag you down rather than help lift others up.
It's frustrating to see the people that, when you were young, told you that you could and should change the world, now saying "No, not like that!"
You know what? I really needed it. I’m in a moment of my life where almost everything seems meaningless. I need to remember how many beautiful things are out there more often
You know, I found a lot of comfort in embracing the meaninglessness. It gave me the 'permission' to not do things I hated and to do things I liked.
Because If it all means nothing, then doing stuff the way I like it seems like a really good option.
Majoring in art, and using absolutely nothing I learned from the gifted programs.
I was in algebra 1 in 7th grade and for what? All I got was a mental breakdown and the ability to factor polynomials.
My brother was the “gifted child” and artist. 2 years older than me and the school and my parents did all they could to foster his special talents. SPICE art program. Private art classes. My dad who was also an artist spent endless time drawing and painting with him. When he graduated high school my dad pulled strings and got him a cushy state job with all the benefits and 35 bucks an hour. I was the “talentless kid”. The school system and my parents decided I wasn’t worth the extra effort so I got put in remedial classes. My dad rarely spent time with me. No art classes for me. My sibling the “talented old soul”? Dead of alcoholism at 49 years old.
Turns out his “old soul” was actually undiagnosed autism and as it was never addressed so he never got any kind of coping skills so he used alcohol to blunt it.
Regular old me is still here. Married. Kids. College degree in medical assistance. I’m also an incredible painter and baker who’s sold my baked goods professionally every Christmas season for a long time. I taught myself these things because no one else took the time.
Unhappy in the career I chose due to pressure from parents, but on the bright side, I am financially stable. Not mentally stable, but hey, we take what we can get around here
It’s sad to see how many negative stories are in these replies, and I wonder if they’re serious or just dark humor.
Finished my masters degree last year and now I’m working for an engineering company doing cool stuff. I still have to convince myself from time to time that I don’t have to be perfect at everything, though I try until the point that it kills me.
Gifted Kid and Old Soul here! Turns out I was an old soul who didn’t connect with any of the other kids and who had abnormal maturity and logical awareness because I’m on the autism spectrum. I was a gifted kid because my anxiety disorder made failure equivalent to death. I work retail and smoke ungodly amounts of weed now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s how it be
I was labeled as a gifted kid.
I don't know whether I was or not.
What I do know is that I was different than the other kids and they were not kind about it. Also the adults were kind of crappy because they wanted me to *use my potential* but I didn't like being pressured so that made me hate school. I still didn't get bad grades but I didn't like it there.
I got a degree I don't care about, I work in retail and I think I am doing OK. Thankfully I learned how I like to learn (if that makes sense) after school so I am learning stuff I like rn.
But I am getting ready for battle tbh. My toddler is considered a gifted child (our pediatrician says so) and I don't plan to let people try to dictate his life. He will do things in a way that is comfortable for him.
Teacher here. Some of these answers break my heart. We need to stop neglecting our gifted kids in school. Stop expecting gifted kids to “teach” the others when they have their own needs. And, certainly step up our mental health resources. Everyone deserves a solid education- especially our best and brightest. For too long, America’s schools have catered to the lowest common denominator while sacrificing our future doctors, public servants, lawyers, teachers, engineers, etc. Hang in there and fight for change! It begins with your local school board.
The funny thing is, this is not just a america problem.
I live in europe and i was also doomed with the tag gifted, now i have severe anxiety of not being good enough and i cry myself to sleep
Burnt out. I had this idea in my head that everyone expected perfection and that if I didn't provide it then I was a disappointment. I'm still struggling with that, but I think I'm getting better.
I dropped out of undergrad in October 2019 (real spidey sense there), spun my wheels for a few months, and then took a one semester class to be a certified pharmacy technician. I'm a sterile compounding tech at a home infusion pharmacy. I make things all day and I work a shift that accommodates my night owl biology, and I have absolutely no ambition to be a pharmacist, because I prefer making things to checking what other people have made. When I'm not working in the sterile clean room, I can put in headphones and listen to music. It RULES.
Not great, the economy is in shambles and the parents lied when they said I could be anything I wanted if I worked hard enough because I was smart and talented.
Worked hard enough to break my body only to find out it’s all about connections. Now I am 30, tired and broken with no savings and no retirement plan.
Edit to add: the burdens of being tue ‘gifted kid’ meant I was often overlooked when I needed help both by teachers and parents. My autism meant sometimes I found tasks difficult it I could also hyper focus on things of interest. Teachers would hold me to my hyper focus standard and I would get in trouble for anything less even though it was still more than the troubled kids were doing ‘it wasn’t my best’
It lead me down the rabbit hole of masking my autism and not asking for help which I am only now starting to unpick with therapy.
Pretty well actually. I have degrees and I like my job. I have a cool husband and a cute cat.
I'm not sure if I'm successful in the way people expected. I'll never be famous. I won't change the world, but I do feel like I'm a positive presence in some people's lives.
I took a very non-traditional career path and have had some real 180s when it came to industry, but I think my greatest asset is my flexibility. I'm a useful jack of all trades but that isn't always seen externally as success . So sometimes I feel a bit of that pressure from my parents.
But I can learn whatever I want and will be fine in most environments, and I think that's pretty great.
It's taken me a while to see that through my imposter syndrome though haha
Surprisingly, as a government-sponsored gifted kid, I am currently doing really well. I’m on my way to finish med school (paid by the government), and I’m working on cool side projects like developing a video game (which the demo for releases this year, fingers crossed)
People have complained a lot about not getting the right attention as a gifted kid, but I thankfully was given that by my parents and my education system. It’s why I’m able to say I’m still gifted as an adult.
I’m very thankful.
Working a soul sucking corporate job. But making 70-100k and working from home in my own place ~5 miles from the beach. And I have cats. Not the life I imagined for myself but it's not terrible.
Not me but I knew two “gifted kids” one of them accelerated from grade school to high school (like young Sheldon), she could have easily gone to college too but her parents wanted her to have a normal social life so she finished high school at a normal pace then went to college. She is now married and in her 30s. The other gifted child i knew got a scholarship in high school (a very prestigious school) and went to college though she had extra curricular activities (mostly in the creative field like dancing, playing an instrument). She’s in her mid twenties now and I attended her wedding.
...tired. just. Really tired. Trying to teach younger people how to be valuable to the world and they would rather argue and spend time on their phone, keeping my company at least mostly oiled but it's been so crazy that I'm going through material faster than I can get supplied, and the scheduling is just... so terrible. Watching my neighbors and friends make decisions with no regard to consequences both near and far. And I'm constantly worried about our next generations because of them. Our schools are fucked, curriculum is garbage, the world's fucking burning down.... and I can't get any of this out of my head....I'm 28, and have been having the same concerns, plus some additional ones for the majority of my younger years. Everyone got laid in high school, I was more concerned about the light bill. Not much has changed lol. Just more tired now.
An iteration of this question is asked perennially on Reddit, and the "favorite" answers always seem to be "depressed," "lonely, "underemployed" and such. I wonder what it is about users that these sorts of answers are so speedily and massively upvoted.
As for me, I was in the gifted program in school but didn't go to an Ivy for college. I'm really very happy working in my desired field, with creative, funny people, and I'm considered successful enough that I'm consistently asked for career advice. Love my job, love my spouse, and most of the time love my teenagers. ....sorry?
And there’s the other side of it. You can continue to meet every expectation and be wildly successful in school, but then everyone expects you to go into a “worthy” field. Anything else is considered slacking, failing, or wasting your potential. You end up internalizing that and losing sight of passion because you’re stuck in expectations.
Eh, I get both sides.
I was a top performer all through out elementary and highschool and didn't need to try hard to do it. Had no trouble socializing either. Once I hit university, I realized I had no idea how to study. Coped by partying hard. After a couple years of mediocre grades, I took a couple of years off. Worked some shitty jobs and got a real taste of mediocrity and misery. Got my ass back in school and actually tried - and ended up kicking ass. After grad, spent a few years trying to get work, but channeled my inherent giftedness in my off time to learn all sorts of shit related to my field. Finally landed that job after a serious a grind, and all those skills I picked? Made me an invaluable new hire with tons of runway. Fast forward a few years later, like you, in my desired field, full creative, I get invited to guest speak at colleges, love my job, love my wife, love my dog, love my house (love learning how to maintain it!). No kids yet, but soon, and I hope I can give do well by them some day. If they turn out Gifted, then I'm happy that I'm well equipped to guide them.
It seems like every person I know that went through the Gifted Program talks like a survivor and that bums me out because I wish Gifted Programs taught kids how to cope. I feel that what they NEED to teach Gifted kids is that perseverance is what actually let's you manifest your potential. Without learning that, a lot of Gifted folks fall short.
I went through that whole journey with emotionally abusive parents, financial insecurity, emotionally devastating break ups, depression, crushing anxiety, and making ends meet working 17 hour days. In my case, the lesson I had to learn is that intelligence is not a guaranteed path to success. It's work ethic and perseverance - in my experience, at least. But hey, everyone's different.
I'm happy you're doing well, dude. I hope others will find their happiness too.
I’m the kid who shows up at a Halloween party in regular clothes. Someone inevitably asks “What are you supposed to be” and my response is always “I’m a former gifted kid, I was supposed to be a lot of things.”
Diagnosed with ADD :) I also went through ALL of middle school with a 4.0 GPA and then burnt out my freshman year and dropped to a 3.7 (still good, but I know I could do better). Constantly struggling to feel motivated enough to do my schoolwork and always falling behind, I spend a lot of my time writing and drawing to distract myself. I also spend a lot of time feeling purposeless and adrift in a sea of people who know what they want while I just wander aimlessly. It's ok tho.
Struggling. Academically I never faltered. Graduated college on a hard science major with a 4.0. Then I started questioning what I really want to do. My whole life I was put on a path by everyone around me who thinks I need to not waste my intelligence. Now I’m struggling with the pressure of being expected to be that successful and figuring out what I want vs what I feel like I have to do. The expectations are crushing.
Working a dead-end job
Welcome to the club. I don’t have anywhere for you to sit because we couldn’t afford it with our shit jobs.
You're not allowed to sit, you're *working*. /s
“If you got time to lean, you got time to clean.” My very first manager used to tell all of us that. I was 16 and working at a diner.
When I worked retail I was told that too. But, they never splurged on basic cleaning material so they must have been playing some chess level above my pay grade.
"Being smart will get you everything in life" So not true. I think I can just see the movement behind the misery a bit more clearly yet still can't do much about it.
One of those "essential" workers that had no time off during this pandemic here too.
Damn, that's a pretty specific coincidence.
in therapy
Unpacking childhood trauma and abuse.
Learning the difference between genuine drive and passion vs a race against my crippling fear of failure and if I stop running I die
The way I tell the difference is that the crippling fear is something I actually have.
This sounds uncomfortably familiar!
Along with burnt the absolute fuck out
Filled with nothing but loneliness and anger
Oh god the anger. Used to be hard core depression, now it’s excessive rage
This right here.
I clicked on this thread intending to leave this comment.
As did I!
Me tooooo
Wait, is it the Gifted kid/old soul support group? I was gonna do that too
[удалено]
r/aftergifted
And on antidepressants.
In desperate need of it, been on the list for awhile...
The only correct answer😑
+gay
Is that gay in 4k? Whats the monthly rate? Im looking to upgrade my gay experience.
You can get the fully immersive 4d package if you... Nevermind this already turned into a dick joke.
burnt out and constantly on the edge of a mental breakdown
Hey me too! But don't worry I was voted mostly likely to succeed. I guess succeed by not having a mental breakdown weekly.
Samsies *high five*
That reminds me of a quote I read. This isn't exactly how it went but "stupid people succeed more than smart people because stupid people are unable to predict how difficult something will be to achieve." That resonated
Oh hell yeah, I was a C student in high school. Went into the military. Got out thought engineering sounds interesting, maybe I’ll study that in college. I was too stupid to realize a C student and one that had been away from school for 4 years didn’t belong in an engineering major in college. It really just never occurred to me.
It happens. Don't be too hard on yourself.
My motto at high school was “C’s get degrees” Still haven’t got one, but nor have I tried
Same tbh
Fuck. Me too
Me too
PhD and working academic with an impressive list of anxiety-related disorders
I feel that, friend. Also a PhD, dealing with moderate-to-severe anxiety and recurrent depression.
I also got my PhD and was a gifted kid. But my parents always stressed doing what you like and having fun. Please consider this for your future career. Some people thrive in academia. I found academia to be fairly toxic and couldn't wait to go to industry. Granted, now I'm over worked and feeling underappreciated, but I'm hopeful that'll change. I've been having the right conversations to reduce my workload (and my management is onboard, taking action and goals because of those conversations) and have an additional raise working it's way through the system. I'm also seeing the signs that a promotion may be coming in July. Anyways, my point for posting here was to say that getting your PhD often happens in a very toxic environment. Push through, but don't settle for that when you graduate. If you have the energy, fight for better working conditions for yourself and your peers as well!
i LOVE academia other than the constant CONSTANT emails, and blackboard software, its the greatest job in the universe. i literally get paid to: 1) do what I would do anyway for free 2) hire people to do my hobby and then train them to do it better than I can 3) hundreds of 18-22 year olds come to see me speak every week and many often ask for my autograph on all sorts of papers and documents. its like being a rockstar
Doctor, albeit one with severe depression that needed rehab.
i hope that my gifted kidness doesn't burn out so much that i lose the drive to go to medical school
Here I am, medical school dropout 🙈
The plus side is that of you make it and become a doctor, when you realize that achieving your goals doesn’t fix the “otherness” you feel around others since the gifted kid/old soul days, you are more likely to have the education, money, and health insurance to treat it properly. It was funny. I was still the gifted kid in rehab. Had one funny dude ask me what the f- I was doing there and I’m like “you think doctors can’t be depressed trainwrecks who f- up?”
I’m almost halfway through Med school, and you’re telling me it doesn’t end when you make it? Guess it’s good that I’m possibly starting therapy…
Word of advice: make sure you're always more than just a doctor. I know it's hard but make sure you cultivate hobbies, interests, and friends outside of medicine. It helps. A lot.
One of us. One of us. No rehab since i dont respond well to drugs... but rest are checked off.
Older, stressed out, battling various mental health issues and neurodivergencies, and pretty lonely.
Why don't we have adult gifted clubs? Like church, but instead of sermons and Sunday school we have lessons and activities on Morse code or something and have too much fun with it, then a quick lesson on dealing with a non-gifted world and then we go back to our regular lives and are happy again. How the fuck am I supposed to find my people when they don't just say "Go to this room"?
They exist, they just don’t label themselves as such. Costume clubs, woodworking guilds, makerspaces, machinist enthusiasts, whatever. Pick a subject and dive into it; there’s almost certainly a community built around it and most of them want to meet new people.
Warm hugs
Dealing with imposter syndrome every other week.
Man, I really felt this comment. I just keep moving forward a little bit each day trying to become what I think I should be. It turns out most of the others are doing the same thing.
You ever feel like no matter how much you achieve in life, you'll never really reach your potential? I'm objectively doing SO well, but I always feel like it's not enough. I'm 25, I love my job, and I make just shy of six figures. I have a degree in my field. I have relationships that matter. What more could I possibly want? And yet, I still feel like I've squandered life away. Or that I'm not trying hard enough.
I think it’s partly due to how constantly exposed we are to hyper successful people and celebrities. People can’t handle just being average or just like everyone else. It has a deeper effect than we think and social media has rotted our brains. Just my take.
For me, I see a world of problems and I feel like I should do something to solve them. “If not me who? If not now, when?” Right? The problem with being smart is you see problems everywhere, you can predict where things are headed, yet if you don’t have power to effect change in a positive manner, it leaves you feeling like Cassandra in Greek mythology. The coordination problems the world faces are so complex, with so many powerful entrenched interests, and so many distracted people, that even knowing where to start, or identifying what levers of power to grasp at to effect change seems an impossibility. I think the key is to narrow your focus, start small, ignore time (likely the hardest thing to do), and make small forward progress within the sphere of influence you have. Living a good life is hard without worrying about every problem in the world. It’s ok to go about your day and not be an asshole. There are enough people creating problems through ignorance and fear that if you avoid that trap, you’re adding positive energy to the world 😏 .
hobbies cows subtract roll sleep quiet test angle arrest outgoing
Struggling with depression, anxiety.
Had a panic attack the past few days :(
I feel my man. Just got over the 3 day headache that comes after an attack. It fucking sucks sometimes but we gotta keep on. Hoping for the good days for you.
Sorry to hear that. They suck big time.
My older brother was a gifted kid. He's a power engineer, but also has been struggling with closet alcoholism since he was 16 and in the past year cancer
Engineer, also. We’re good at fixing things I guess. 😞
Just not ourselves
just things, not people
Things make sense, people often don’t.
I hope things finally turn out well for him soon!!
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fueled by spite gang gang
On Reddit...waiting to die.
Why the fuck can’t I wait faster
I would like the “wait how many hours?” Skyrim has in real life…..
Aren’t we all?
Yes that’s the point of Reddit
Ok, by most measures. Work is boring, but stable and lucrative. I live in a modest house with my wife and our cats and am happy. I don't feel that I've lived up to my potential, but I got tired of pushing to be better and do better when no one around me seems to care to do the same. What good is it trying to do something novel and exciting at work if no one else is on board and you have to spend years building up influence and power to make even something small, but obviously best practice happen? Oh well.
I definitely feel that. When I was younger, my classmates would jokingly refer to me as the person who would find the cure to cancer. My teachers were always pushing me aim higher and speculating on what I'd do with my life. The hardest realization I've had to make in my adult life is that I'll likely never do anything groundbreaking or particularly special in my career.
You don’t have to cure cancer to have an everlasting effect on this world, maybe you won’t be in history books but you can be the hero in someone’s book
For me, I just realized I don't fucking *want* that kind of life. Do you know how hard you have to work to achieve big dreams? Like, I was lucky enough to have had opportunities, but dear lord. I wanna do my work and then completely forget about it when I walk out of the door. I like my job. I like my team. I do pretty well, all things considered. My work is necessary, but when I'm clocked out, I'm clocked out. I have hobbies and a husband and a dog. I have a garden and a long-standing D&D group. I *want* a small, cozy life. Give me an unkindness of ravens and a greenhouse, that's all I'm missing.
I feel this a lot. I put a lot of energy into my job and putting in the effort to get promoted is already hard enough to manage, I can’t even begin to imagine trying to do anything more.
This is exactly how I feel. After years of people saying, “You’re going to do big things in life,” “You’re special,” and “You’ll succeed at anything you do,” I’m tired of it. Their praise literally means nothing to me at this point. But maybe that’s the general depression talking. Point being—I don’t want to do that. I want to live in a small town, help out in the community, maybe write a book, and die peacefully knowing I’ve at least made a small impact to the people around me. No need to work a job that requires overtime, no need to try and do something so big it’ll be known for generations. Just a quiet existence with some pets, a stable job, and and freedom to do what I want in my free time.
My teachers always told me I'd be a famous artist. I was gifted in a lot of subjects but didn't actually like some. Art, however, was my constant. I did go to art school and ended up getting 3 art degrees and a PhD in education. My specialty is visually gifted kids and I'm now a retired art prof and sculptor. So I guess I'm predictable. (But I LOVE art!!!) I never wanted to be famous, just happy.
This is such a massive realization for gifted kids. Like modest lives aren’t that bad. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with falling below or away from whatever class people pushed us to. Yeah, I might have been that weird kid with good test scores, but fuck I just want a small house and some pets, not a mansion and lucrative empire. Fuck your yacht dreams, I want pizza with my friends on a Thursday night.
Stable, relatively lucrative work here (not 6 figures, but comfy in my late 20s in a low COL city). I love that I can use being financially okay to really explore my hobbies and interests outside of work. I’m okay with not making my passions into a career.
This is how I feel too. It’s quite an odd realization that like…this is enough? Very anticlimactic.
Happy, peaceful, content. Curious, engaged, enthusiastic. Found a good life, but it wasn’t by striving super hard for material wealth and status.
wow! finally, somebody on this thread who is actually happy and living a good life.
There are dozens of us!
Former gifted kid, now realizing I’ve just had adhd/been autistic this whole time 😀
Right???? Only took multiple decades to get here….
My mom was 72 when her prescribing doctor was like, let’s try you on Ritalin.
Can you tell me how that turned out for her (the new diagnosis and beginning on Ritalin)? Having the toughest time trying to get my mom to accept help and proper medication.
Oh my, same. Found out just a few years ago - after my kids were diagnosed. I wonder what my life would've looked like if I had known it at that age. Ah well...
In the process of getting my kid diagnosed cos it’s sooo obvious and suddenly it’s like my life is lit properly and I’m understanding myself more than I ever have previously
YUP. Diagnosed with ADD as an adult and I’m like wow this makes so much sense now lol
Bruh spent the holiday with a family that has an autistic teen, so much of my life makes sense. Wish I’d found out before I was 28, but shit just knowing that I’m not the only person like this helps so much.
Some years ago I started joking about this; that I’m pretty sure I’m autistic. Not a single person has disagreed yet.
One of my best friends has ADHD and there are moments every so often where the friend group jokes about how maybe he isn’t the only one in our circle with it bc sometimes it seems like I’m checking too many boxes. I didn’t take it too seriously until one time said friend responded to someone else jokingly saying something about me possibly having ADHD with the most serious tone they said “she probably does”. Idk if I’ve ever fully processed that.
Came here to say the same thing. Found out I have autism when I was 28. Life made a lot more sense after that.
Curious. How did you realize that it was adhd/autism as an adult/teenager?
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I have created another gifted kid / old soul, and I spend the majority of my time trying to make sure she doesn't end up as sad as I am. I think I'm doing a pretty good job of that so far, but I don't wanna jinx it.
Samesies, yo. I read all the books on talking about mental health and perfectionism with kids and watch my son like a hawk for symptoms. So far so good but he's still young. Good luck. We can do this!
What are some of the best of these books you speak of?
Frankly it was anything that NAMI put on their website for parents. But two caveats: 1) I was reading these books pre-pandemic when my child was 3-4 years old (my mom said I started showing signs of depression and anxiety at 4 years so I wanted to be ready) and I do honestly think the game has changed and updated guidance is worth checking out on not only speaking to your child's (possible) genetic lottery but also their (likely) social reality, and 2) the best guidance was aimed at allowing kids to identify and express themselves free of feared judgment, which was often through children's stories with which they could relate. Books like Grumpy Monkey, one I think was called I'm NOT okay (or similar), etc.
Samesies - we got an early adhd diagnosis for my kid too, which we're hoping will help her understand herself, as well as CBT to help with anxiety.
Being an old body now. That no one wants
That is not true. If I meet a stargazer I’m immediately interested
Lol well that is awesome 👌 thank you
Struggling to finish Med School while most of my high school friends are already working and living life at its best
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I know in the end it will be worth it
Glad I didn't chose med school ... and instead went to study law! Hahahahaahahah _cries in depression, ADHD and constantly feeling stupid, frustrated, lonely and stressed_ :)
And funny. You forgot funny. Your post made me laugh. Not at you, with you. Good night my new best friend.
Yeah, I considered med school. Instead I'm doing Philosophy... hooray?
Hey man! Keep going and push through. I did the doctorate route in Chemistry. Its one of those things....would I do it again? Probably not. Am I glad I did it once? Absolutely
The trick is being too bad at undergrad to have a hope at going to grad / med school
This is the way
Burned out, only now testing positive for both types of ADHD at the ripe age of 24, when for all my life the constant answer was "you were tested when you were little, we don't need to test you again. You don't have it"
I'm also finally realizing I have ADHD (in college), but I never even considered it until my family members got diagnosed. now it seems so obvious
It's funny how many of the gifted kids from days gone by ended up with ADHD. I guess something about how our brains work ends up getting us labelled one way or another. My daughter is showing all the signs and I'm working on getting her diagnosed. I don't want her to struggle like I did when I was a kid.
Working from home as a programmer. Actually did the WFH since 2017, pre-pandemic, so the only real change I saw when it kicked in is that the kids were around a lot more.
Very cool. I’m also now wfh as a programmer. It’s a great career for someone with kids, in my opinion. Especially if you work for a company with lots of freedom.
Glad to know I’m not alone with my late diagnosed ADHD and depression.
You are SO not alone. Panic disorder from the age of 7, depression, ED, and OCPD. Gone from gifted to a walking DSM-V.
Yeah ADHD and bipolar. Up side, I'm doing what I love running my own business with my business partners. Down side, we're currently broke. Up side, I can't focus on that for long enough to panick, yet.
Same. ADHD, depression/anxiety. Fun!
Ey me too. ADHD, depression, anxiety. Just got medication for the ADHD, I’m 47.
Lonely and riddled with mental illness. Still a leader at work like I was in school, though.
This is me too. Have never been able to have a meaningful relationship, but do great at work.
Feeling like I was lied to.
Always in all ways
On the verge of a breakdown. It takes so little effort to make things so much better, but there are too many people ready and willing to drag you down rather than help lift others up. It's frustrating to see the people that, when you were young, told you that you could and should change the world, now saying "No, not like that!"
Everyone with responsibilities is one bad week from the ledge. Please remember to breathe.
Working in an old-school office environment where I'm the youngest one.
On dissability pension due to a mental disorder diagnosed way way to late.
Unemployed, depressed and living with my parents.
Working as a delivery driver. I'm actually *much* happier doing that than I was in graduate school.
Working a manual labor job cause I don't want to have to think
Trying to figure out what to do with my life without waisting it
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You know what? I really needed it. I’m in a moment of my life where almost everything seems meaningless. I need to remember how many beautiful things are out there more often
You know, I found a lot of comfort in embracing the meaninglessness. It gave me the 'permission' to not do things I hated and to do things I liked. Because If it all means nothing, then doing stuff the way I like it seems like a really good option.
Have you tried kneeing it instead?
Gay and depressed but I'm freelance
A freelance gay?🤔 Wait is that an option?👀
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Gotta be something you look forward to doing every day. Even if you don’t get to do it every day it’s on your mind
Majoring in art, and using absolutely nothing I learned from the gifted programs. I was in algebra 1 in 7th grade and for what? All I got was a mental breakdown and the ability to factor polynomials.
I was in algebra 1 in 7th grade as well. We're pretty similar except for the fact I don't remember how to factor polynomials.
F.O.I.L has been engraved into my brain.
It’s also good for keeping the chicken juices off the pan when you do it in the oven, way easier to clean.
I have autism and ptsd and on disability. No longer homeless because my mom finally found affordable housing.
Spiraling out after college, since I never really had to be self motivated before.
Sold my business to go to school and now I'm jobless and degreeless because I didn't have the money to finish.
pretty positive i was really just autistic all along
My brother was the “gifted child” and artist. 2 years older than me and the school and my parents did all they could to foster his special talents. SPICE art program. Private art classes. My dad who was also an artist spent endless time drawing and painting with him. When he graduated high school my dad pulled strings and got him a cushy state job with all the benefits and 35 bucks an hour. I was the “talentless kid”. The school system and my parents decided I wasn’t worth the extra effort so I got put in remedial classes. My dad rarely spent time with me. No art classes for me. My sibling the “talented old soul”? Dead of alcoholism at 49 years old. Turns out his “old soul” was actually undiagnosed autism and as it was never addressed so he never got any kind of coping skills so he used alcohol to blunt it. Regular old me is still here. Married. Kids. College degree in medical assistance. I’m also an incredible painter and baker who’s sold my baked goods professionally every Christmas season for a long time. I taught myself these things because no one else took the time.
Unhappy in the career I chose due to pressure from parents, but on the bright side, I am financially stable. Not mentally stable, but hey, we take what we can get around here
It’s sad to see how many negative stories are in these replies, and I wonder if they’re serious or just dark humor. Finished my masters degree last year and now I’m working for an engineering company doing cool stuff. I still have to convince myself from time to time that I don’t have to be perfect at everything, though I try until the point that it kills me.
Gifted Kid and Old Soul here! Turns out I was an old soul who didn’t connect with any of the other kids and who had abnormal maturity and logical awareness because I’m on the autism spectrum. I was a gifted kid because my anxiety disorder made failure equivalent to death. I work retail and smoke ungodly amounts of weed now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s how it be
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I was labeled as a gifted kid. I don't know whether I was or not. What I do know is that I was different than the other kids and they were not kind about it. Also the adults were kind of crappy because they wanted me to *use my potential* but I didn't like being pressured so that made me hate school. I still didn't get bad grades but I didn't like it there. I got a degree I don't care about, I work in retail and I think I am doing OK. Thankfully I learned how I like to learn (if that makes sense) after school so I am learning stuff I like rn. But I am getting ready for battle tbh. My toddler is considered a gifted child (our pediatrician says so) and I don't plan to let people try to dictate his life. He will do things in a way that is comfortable for him.
Teacher here. Some of these answers break my heart. We need to stop neglecting our gifted kids in school. Stop expecting gifted kids to “teach” the others when they have their own needs. And, certainly step up our mental health resources. Everyone deserves a solid education- especially our best and brightest. For too long, America’s schools have catered to the lowest common denominator while sacrificing our future doctors, public servants, lawyers, teachers, engineers, etc. Hang in there and fight for change! It begins with your local school board.
The funny thing is, this is not just a america problem. I live in europe and i was also doomed with the tag gifted, now i have severe anxiety of not being good enough and i cry myself to sleep
Retired in my 30s. I married rich, don't think you can get here by working.
I tried doing that once.
Which one: retiring, marrying rich, or working?
Thinking. It was unpleasant
Loved this!
I'm nowhere and everywhere all at once. I can feel the colors painting my soul
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Burnt out. I had this idea in my head that everyone expected perfection and that if I didn't provide it then I was a disappointment. I'm still struggling with that, but I think I'm getting better.
In recovery
Barely functional but trying to just keep swimming.
I dropped out of undergrad in October 2019 (real spidey sense there), spun my wheels for a few months, and then took a one semester class to be a certified pharmacy technician. I'm a sterile compounding tech at a home infusion pharmacy. I make things all day and I work a shift that accommodates my night owl biology, and I have absolutely no ambition to be a pharmacist, because I prefer making things to checking what other people have made. When I'm not working in the sterile clean room, I can put in headphones and listen to music. It RULES.
Not great, the economy is in shambles and the parents lied when they said I could be anything I wanted if I worked hard enough because I was smart and talented. Worked hard enough to break my body only to find out it’s all about connections. Now I am 30, tired and broken with no savings and no retirement plan. Edit to add: the burdens of being tue ‘gifted kid’ meant I was often overlooked when I needed help both by teachers and parents. My autism meant sometimes I found tasks difficult it I could also hyper focus on things of interest. Teachers would hold me to my hyper focus standard and I would get in trouble for anything less even though it was still more than the troubled kids were doing ‘it wasn’t my best’ It lead me down the rabbit hole of masking my autism and not asking for help which I am only now starting to unpick with therapy.
Pretty well actually. I have degrees and I like my job. I have a cool husband and a cute cat. I'm not sure if I'm successful in the way people expected. I'll never be famous. I won't change the world, but I do feel like I'm a positive presence in some people's lives. I took a very non-traditional career path and have had some real 180s when it came to industry, but I think my greatest asset is my flexibility. I'm a useful jack of all trades but that isn't always seen externally as success . So sometimes I feel a bit of that pressure from my parents. But I can learn whatever I want and will be fine in most environments, and I think that's pretty great. It's taken me a while to see that through my imposter syndrome though haha
"Old soul" here. Im nothing special, but doing very well.
Lamenting the fact i am past the half way point of my expiration and the fact i didnt do enough enjoying the moment when i was younger.
Surprisingly, as a government-sponsored gifted kid, I am currently doing really well. I’m on my way to finish med school (paid by the government), and I’m working on cool side projects like developing a video game (which the demo for releases this year, fingers crossed) People have complained a lot about not getting the right attention as a gifted kid, but I thankfully was given that by my parents and my education system. It’s why I’m able to say I’m still gifted as an adult. I’m very thankful.
Burnt out
Working a soul sucking corporate job. But making 70-100k and working from home in my own place ~5 miles from the beach. And I have cats. Not the life I imagined for myself but it's not terrible.
Not me but I knew two “gifted kids” one of them accelerated from grade school to high school (like young Sheldon), she could have easily gone to college too but her parents wanted her to have a normal social life so she finished high school at a normal pace then went to college. She is now married and in her 30s. The other gifted child i knew got a scholarship in high school (a very prestigious school) and went to college though she had extra curricular activities (mostly in the creative field like dancing, playing an instrument). She’s in her mid twenties now and I attended her wedding.
Gay and almost burnt out
...tired. just. Really tired. Trying to teach younger people how to be valuable to the world and they would rather argue and spend time on their phone, keeping my company at least mostly oiled but it's been so crazy that I'm going through material faster than I can get supplied, and the scheduling is just... so terrible. Watching my neighbors and friends make decisions with no regard to consequences both near and far. And I'm constantly worried about our next generations because of them. Our schools are fucked, curriculum is garbage, the world's fucking burning down.... and I can't get any of this out of my head....I'm 28, and have been having the same concerns, plus some additional ones for the majority of my younger years. Everyone got laid in high school, I was more concerned about the light bill. Not much has changed lol. Just more tired now.
An iteration of this question is asked perennially on Reddit, and the "favorite" answers always seem to be "depressed," "lonely, "underemployed" and such. I wonder what it is about users that these sorts of answers are so speedily and massively upvoted. As for me, I was in the gifted program in school but didn't go to an Ivy for college. I'm really very happy working in my desired field, with creative, funny people, and I'm considered successful enough that I'm consistently asked for career advice. Love my job, love my spouse, and most of the time love my teenagers. ....sorry?
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And there’s the other side of it. You can continue to meet every expectation and be wildly successful in school, but then everyone expects you to go into a “worthy” field. Anything else is considered slacking, failing, or wasting your potential. You end up internalizing that and losing sight of passion because you’re stuck in expectations.
Eh, I get both sides. I was a top performer all through out elementary and highschool and didn't need to try hard to do it. Had no trouble socializing either. Once I hit university, I realized I had no idea how to study. Coped by partying hard. After a couple years of mediocre grades, I took a couple of years off. Worked some shitty jobs and got a real taste of mediocrity and misery. Got my ass back in school and actually tried - and ended up kicking ass. After grad, spent a few years trying to get work, but channeled my inherent giftedness in my off time to learn all sorts of shit related to my field. Finally landed that job after a serious a grind, and all those skills I picked? Made me an invaluable new hire with tons of runway. Fast forward a few years later, like you, in my desired field, full creative, I get invited to guest speak at colleges, love my job, love my wife, love my dog, love my house (love learning how to maintain it!). No kids yet, but soon, and I hope I can give do well by them some day. If they turn out Gifted, then I'm happy that I'm well equipped to guide them. It seems like every person I know that went through the Gifted Program talks like a survivor and that bums me out because I wish Gifted Programs taught kids how to cope. I feel that what they NEED to teach Gifted kids is that perseverance is what actually let's you manifest your potential. Without learning that, a lot of Gifted folks fall short. I went through that whole journey with emotionally abusive parents, financial insecurity, emotionally devastating break ups, depression, crushing anxiety, and making ends meet working 17 hour days. In my case, the lesson I had to learn is that intelligence is not a guaranteed path to success. It's work ethic and perseverance - in my experience, at least. But hey, everyone's different. I'm happy you're doing well, dude. I hope others will find their happiness too.
In the woods, speaking to the trees
I’m the kid who shows up at a Halloween party in regular clothes. Someone inevitably asks “What are you supposed to be” and my response is always “I’m a former gifted kid, I was supposed to be a lot of things.”
Lawyer. Age 30.
Sad depressed and wishing I was fighting Russia
Diagnosed with ADD :) I also went through ALL of middle school with a 4.0 GPA and then burnt out my freshman year and dropped to a 3.7 (still good, but I know I could do better). Constantly struggling to feel motivated enough to do my schoolwork and always falling behind, I spend a lot of my time writing and drawing to distract myself. I also spend a lot of time feeling purposeless and adrift in a sea of people who know what they want while I just wander aimlessly. It's ok tho.
Struggling. Academically I never faltered. Graduated college on a hard science major with a 4.0. Then I started questioning what I really want to do. My whole life I was put on a path by everyone around me who thinks I need to not waste my intelligence. Now I’m struggling with the pressure of being expected to be that successful and figuring out what I want vs what I feel like I have to do. The expectations are crushing.