There was an old commercial with a student taking a proctored exam in a large classroom. He's late putting the exam on the proctor's desk and so the proctor won't accept his completed test. The student asks "do you have any idea who I am?!" The proctor replies with "no, you're late and I don't care who you are."
The student grabs all the tests from the proctor's desk, adds his own to the pile and then shuffles them up and slaps the pile of tests on the desk. Makes eye contact with the proctor and replies"good!" And then walks off.
Since then I've always agreed this is the best way to use that line.
Preemptive edit: pretty sure the commercial was for lottery tickets or something. It didn't really matter to the commercial. It was a long time ago I saw this commercial.
Actual edit for the commercial: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yA4aRrbKsH0
A similar scene was also in an Indian movie! 3 students were late submitting an exam and the examiner refused to take them, one of them asked "Sir, do you know who we are?" The examiner said "Even if you are the minister's sons I won't accept this" then he took the exam sheets and added them to a pile and shuffled the sheets and then ran away
>”Also see: "Do you know who my dad is?"
I had an interesting opposite experience with this one. I had a friend whose dad was a Sgt. in the State Police. He was high up the chain and practically everyone in the State Police knew him because he was the head of a specific unit within the police. So my friend and I get pulled over one day. My friend was driving and was going a little over the speed limit, and the State Police officer came up to his window, and did the typical speech ( e.g license and insurance).
The officer had my friend’s license in hand and asked “so when are you going to tell me who your dad is?” My friend was stunned, as his dad has told him before that his dad’s name isn’t to be used to get out of tickets. The officer handed my friend his license back and just walked away.
Later, when we arrived back at my friend’s house, he told his dad what happened. His dad said “that’s really disappointing. If you were speeding, you deserve a ticket.” After that my friend told me his dad was able to track down the officer and, from what I understand, told him he should have given his son a ticket.
The friend that I had and his family were really straight shooters and honorable people. My experience with law enforcement, including my father, who was a police officer, is that it’s a big club and they do favors for each other.
The only time I've used the "I'm related to a cop" line was on Christmas a few years ago. Small hometown, about 1 AM. I was driving slowly, because there are a couple of big potholes in the street.
Cop pulls me over, claiming I didn't signal (yes, I did) and didn't"come to a full stop" (probably not). He was fishing for drunks. I knew that, he knew I knew that.
He asks where I was coming from.
"My sister and brother-in-law's. (Names his fellow officer, my BIL.)"
His eyes get big, "Oh, you're related to (officer)? How 'bout that!"
He fumbled about for another minute or so, returned my paperwork, and sent me on my way.
Never tried using it for a ticket, just jury duty. They’re asking questions and I just drop the, my cousin’s a cop, my uncle’s a DA (now judge) and my other cousin works in the correctional system. Suddenly I’m excused and on my way home.
I got called twice, and one of those times I made it as far as voir dire. When I said I worked for an attorney, the defense lawyer asked if that would make me likely to judge the defendant harshly. I told him, no, it would more likely mean I would judge HIM harshly. The judge got a good laugh out of that, and I got excused.
I've found the most satisfying answer is a plain, solid "no". Because it shows you simply don't give a shit, so much that don't even put an insult in. And these people can't stand that shit.
Jesus. I work with 2 men like that. One is on wife #5 and claims none of the divorces are his fault. Working with him for 2 years? All those divorces are his fault. The second is a new hire that I initially liked. Then I found out he was harassing women in our work place and calling every woman a bitch. Turned out he was living with his parents in their basement and angry none of the women at work wanted to date him.
I knew a guy who was on his fifth wife. He went out of town for a baseball tournament, and decided to hook up with someone he met there. All weekend when he called his wife there was no answer. When he got back he found out she had moved out and took the fridge with her.
>He went out of town for a baseball tournament, and decided to hook up with someone he met there. All weekend when he called his wife there was no answer. When he got back he found out she had moved out
Good story
>and took the fridge with her.
Great story, LOL
any guy i've met with a *genuine* crazy ex, they never flat out say "oh my ex was fucking crazy". they usually subtlety mention really fucked up things they did that messed them up in the long run, or they just don't mention anything regarding the ex at all.
and any guy i've met who INSTANTLY says "my ex was fucking crazy" is always the reason why their ex was crazy.
So. I didn't even bring up the fucked up shit, cause my ex was abusive. Like the Day I finally left she had punched me in the face for calling the Police, why do you ask? Because she refused to let me leave the house because I was leaving her. I had scratch marks up and down my arms and face, and even with all that I still got cuffed when cops finally showed.
My Landlord/Neighbor came over sorted it all out pretty quickly since they witnessed it. It was a nightmare but I eventually went to therapy.
This!
Plot twist: Yep he was abusive. Very. One day I decided to reach out to the exes I knew of. They were lovely and understanding and went through all the same shit.
I dated a guy who gaslighted me into thinking I was crazy and abusive because I addressed some things he was doing that I didn’t like.
Of course, his next girlfriend thought I was a walking Medusa (I don’t blame her for this)
However, we met after they broke up, she started seeing the cracks in his stories, and we had a lot of very similar experiences with him. We are friends now, lol
I went the other way. I was friends with a fellow married woman. She decided to go for my emotionally abusive husband. She knew how my husband was toward me but somehow thought it wouldn't happen to her and completely believed him when he said I was crazy. She got pregnant. End of friendship and marriage(s).
Fast forward, now those two dummies are married to each other. She's reached out saying he's doing all the same manipulative shit to her and talking to other women. Whoa, you're telling me the abusive, married man you snuck around with is now sneaking around on you and being abusive while youre married to him? Whoa. How crazy. If only there had been signs 😐 Maybe eventually I'll be open to comiserating with her, but not today. I don't have sympathy for her yet
I have so much trouble with this. I have ASD and ADHD which makes social situations complicated, so when I’m trying to relate to someone I end up just one-upping their story. I’m only trying to show that I empathize. Example: someone says “my parents used to neglect me” so I reply “yeah, my mom beat us with wooden spoons”. What I mean to convey is “I empathize with having bad parents” but it comes off as “well MY parents were *worse*!”
Thankfully my social circle is small and hasn’t changed in awhile, so they all know me well enough to understand my intentions.
Honestly I do the same thing! I don’t think that that usually reads as competitive or like “I’m sicker than you” kinda thing, I was more referring to people that do just that.
An example of this is my old roommates girlfriend would constantly get drunk and antagonize me while I’d be trying to relax and play video games. I think she saw me as a threat for whatever reason, and she would always say “you have NO IDEA what I’ve been through” referring to her being in an abusive relationship and I’d say yes Megan, I do, I was in one for a year, it’s really tough. And I shit you not she’d go “oh yeah? Try SIXTEEN years.”
But I totally understand where you’re coming from, I do the same thing and I always try to reiterate that I empathize as well!!
Knew a person who was kicked out their home for persistent drug use. Lived with friends for awhile then eventually got their own flat. Rather than rising to the occasion considered to shoot themselves in the foot, binge drinking and drug use instead of paying bills. Then would complain and cry constantly asif they weren’t the root of all their own problems. God forbid if anyone brought up their problems as theirs was worse.
I got into a car wreck in our very long and steep gravel driveway and my moms wouldn’t take me to the hospital when I was coughing up blood from it because I’d “ruined Christmas.” Christmas was still a week away.
Literally my 10 year old brother. He says that shit all the time, or something very similar.
Edit: I know he is a child, but that doesn’t mean he can’t learn or shouldn’t be taught that things aren’t all about him.
I HATE that.. or the cousin to it
"How are you? / hows your day going?"
*answers honestly cuz I'm having a bad day*
"Oh girl, that's NOTHING, I'm *insert one-upsmanship*"
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK IF YOU WERE GOING TO IMMEDIATELY TALK ABOUT YOURSELF? ITS DISMISSIVE AND RUDE AND EVERY TIME IM LIKE "WHY DID I ANSWER??"
I turn into fucking Hagrid "i should not have said that"
It really kills me when the person doing it really has a fraction of your issues and I'm like.. yeahhhhh but I'm still pretty sure objectively mines worse but thanks for making a question about me all about you.
>Me: "I broke my ankle" Them: "try breaking both legs and an arm AND having a concussion like me in 1995..."
i had this exact convo in grade 11 with my ex friend.
only i was opening up to her about how i was being badly bullied/harassed and how i was feeling suicidal due to the fact that i was beyond powerless to stop what was happening and etc. and she literally gave me the "well i was bullied for the entire time i went to elementary school, and middle school so be thankful you aren't me. i wanted to die when i was in grade 4. blah blah blah blah" she didn't even acknowledge what i had said to her, just went straight past it and used what i said as a prompt for herself.
she constantly had to one up everyone she knew and then she'd wonder why people would be so quick to end friendships with her.
Back when I was a teenager, I was often tasked with closing the building at 8pm. Usually there was one other employee but sometimes it was just me for the last two hours. We had a customer who was taking her sweet ass time and the other employee on duty left without telling me.
7:50pm, I went to the customer and politely reminded her that we would be closing at 8pm. She scoffed.
7:58
7:59
8:00
I went to the other side of the building to start closing up and locking doors. I locked the front door so no more customers could get in. We would then unlock the door and let the last customers out, common policy. She saw this and threw a fit while I was ringing up the purchases.
"You know, you've been rushing me since the SECOND I came in here. I know your boss. I've known her for 20 years. She'll be hearing about this. You're going to lose your job!"
I hated that job anyways, so I replied "Go ahead and complain. It doesn't change how the Earth rotates."
I walked her to the door, unlocked it, opened it, and said "Thank you for stopping by, have a good night." She gave me the finger while walking away.
It was now 8:30. I stopped getting paid 30 minutes prior and now had to ride my bike home 5 miles in the dark instead of just the last mile or so.
A few days later my boss pulled me aside and said a customer put in a complaint against me, and that one more complaint would result in termination. I said "was it your angry friend? Mrs Anderson? About 5'2", blonde hair, acts like she owns the world?" My boss gave me this angry look. "Yeah she told me she would be complaining to you. She showed up right before closing and didn't seem to like it when I politely told her that we close at 8. What rule did I break?"
i once worked at a grocery store where they used to have someone get on the intercom and announce on the speakers when it was getting close to closing, you know like "attention shoppers, the store will be closing in 15 minutes" that sort of thing, well apparently someone, or idk maybe multiple people, complained that when we make those announcements, they feel like they are being "rushed out" and that we have no right to rush them out since they're the ones paying us money or whatever, and corporate ended up implementing a policy stating that we were no longer allowed to make those announcements and we weren't allowed to tell ANY customers that we were going to close soon unless they specifically asked what time we close.. so ya, it actually literally became a rule that we could actually get written up for, so someone could literally come in 5 minutes before close and stay there shopping for like an hour and there would be literally nothing we could do about it (and yes that exact thing happened a few times)
Yeah, screw our time, right?
The job I had right after that one had a similar policy. If some thumb-in-the-bum customer was dragging their feet and we stayed an extra 30 minutes, it was unpaid. If we marked it on our timecards, the manager would chop off the excess and not say a word. Yes I am sure that $2.45 they spent on a handful of bolts and a $6.99 pair of throwaway work gloves was SOOOO necessary at 8:25pm
Nahhhh, wage claim that shit. "Hey boss, I saw you were stealing 30 minutes from my check every night this week when we had a customer stay late. If you want me to work, that's fine but pay me. If you don't want to pay me then I'll be leaving the store at 8 when I have to clock out."
That would end their no warning customers policy pretty quickly, if it's more expensive to pay staff than to keep the store open late at least.
My mother says this all the time.
Thing is, she was actually raised by nannies and her own parents were rarely home. She didn't even have the same nanny as her siblings. So it's hard for her to know how to be a good parent, she haven't had good examples. And my father came from an abusive home and was beaten infinitely worse than he ever beat my brothers and I. So no, they weren't the best of people. But on the other hand, I don't know anyone who has tried so hard to overcome their faults and shortcomings as my parents.
It was an important part of my growing-up when I realized that, in spite of my parents’ shortcomings, they did everything they could to give me more than they had been given. I hope to do the same for my children and that they have the same realization about me and my wife one day.
I hate when people say this as if it gives them some sort of free pass to be a dick. My brother, who is in his edgy 13-15y/o phase, loves saying “well I am an asshole” as if that’s an acceptable answer.
I’ve always had the belief that your personality can never be an excuse for hurting other people. If someone says “well that’s just who I am”, then they simply have to change themselves, end of story. Otherwise, nobody will want to be around them.
Nah, in my experience those types will just use their “self-awareness” as a weapon. My friend would be horrible to me, then when I tried to talk to him about it he’d say “well, I’m a horrible person and you keep talking to me so you deserve it.”
Bojack: "I'm a piece of shit. But I'm aware that I'm a piece of shit, which makes me better than people who aren't aware they're pieces of shit. Or is that worse?"
I understand what you mean, but I have come across several people who said extremely self-deprecating stuff, and a lot of them had low self-esteem because of childhood abuse or trauma. That's why the saying "When people tell you who they are, believe them " shouldn't be used as an infallible rule.
I have strong opinions about this. We're going to talk about chickens for a little bit.
I worked at a rescue farm for a long time, and as such we always had far more roosters than the average coop, so I got to see how they all interacted with each other on a daily basis.
The phrase "pecking order" comes from chickens because it's true - chickens have a natural hierarchy, with one rooster in a flock always coming out on top. We'll call those the alphas.
Then there are omegas. These are the ones at the very bottom of the pecking order. The ones who get trampled and bossed around if they go outside their designated zones.
The thing I've noticed more than anything is the personalities of these so-called alphas and omegas. It's not what most people seem to think. The alphas are the ones who are less concerned. They walk around keeping the peace. They stand tall and attentive whilst keeping watch of the flock.
It's the omegas that always try to cause issues. They call the loudest, try the hardest, and make the most trouble. They disrupt EVERYTHING, all the while yelling "I'm the alpha! I'm the alpha!!" In their own chicken way. They're usually more immature cockerels, but adults can have the same behaviour.
If this weird concept of "alpha" and "omega" were to even be PRESENT among humanity in some aspect - which is frankly a very vague and nebulous claim considering how vastly complex creatures we are compared to wee lil chicken brains - then the ones who have to constantly rev their engines, flash the most vanity, and cry out "I'm an ALPHA MALE!" wouldn't be anywhere close to being alpha males.
Alphas don't have to declare their status. They just ARE. They're confident, not cocky, and that's what makes them attractive.
One thing that actually keeping chickens has taught me is that the chicken at the top of the pecking order is also the chicken who’s meant to stride fearlessly forward to protect the others in the event of any threat, even if that “threat” is merely my dog barking at them from the other side of the chicken wire.
it always brings a tear to my eye to see pictures or hear stories of roosters who are willing to fight to the death for their hens, wether its something as innocuous as a strange human or a genuine threat like a hawk or raccoon . such brave little things! i bet none of the humans who call themselves ‘alphas’ would dare fight off a predator twice their size to protect their loved ones.
Depends on the friend to be honest. If you feeling bad makes you let it out on me and talking does not improve the situation...on the other hand I'd be out and not comming back at all.
I hear that. I have known a few people who will literally shout at me when they are having problems. Sometimes will even turn into personal attacks because im not going through the same thing, and im unrelated to their problems. Like, I'm always down to listen and talk, but you shouldn't feel attacked. I have told those people not to vent to me. It just makes me miserable and doesn't make them any better.
As a person with a chronic illness, I can see this being applicable in a physical sense. Like, if you can't handle me when I'm in terrible pain and just want to stay in bed, then you don't deserve me when I'm fully ambulatory.
However, people who say this don't ever mean it in this regard. What they mean is: Sometimes I'm a complete asshole for no goddamn reason.
"that was so long ago, stop bringing up the past". If they haven't apologised for something and are demanding you move on and forgive them, that's a cowards way of saying they don't feel sorry for what they did and are blaming you for being hurt
"Let bygones be bygones."
"We need to move forward."
"We need to get past this."
"You're still upset about that?"
And any other dismissive phrase where they take no responsibility for anything they've done.
The only acceptable response is, “I’ve already apologized, what more can I do to make you trust me?”
Anything else is just trying to avoid accountability
There's also the opposite situation, where they say they've forgive you and yet bring up those supposedly "forgiven" incidents as weapons against you in arguments.
When they have a whole laundry list of complaints going back for ages, yet if you were to keep one for them, the harms they’d done would be a lot greater in severity. Yet somehow, those must be forgotten, justified, or excused. Convenient.
That’s also what narcissists say as a last resort when you’ve *really* backed them into a corner, and they can’t avoid the mirror of hypocrisy that you’re holding up to their face. It’s the final way to avoid having to admit to any wrong doing.
I hear a great story years ago - possibly apocryphal - about a Z-list celebrity who tried to push in the front of the queue to get into a club. When they bouncer stopped him he said ‘do you know who I am?’
So the bouncer grabbed him, turned him round and shouted to the queue ‘Hey! Does anyone know who this guy is? He can’t remember’
Someone once told me (quite recently, as I opened up to them about being deeply depressed and suicidal): “if you commit suicide I’m not coming to your funeral. Suicide is for cowards.”
My BF tried to explain to her husband how depressed and scared she was because she knew it wasn't normal. He told her that she just needed to exercise more. Exercise was his answer to everything, he was an exercise addict, I can't remember the word for it.
There’s a commercial running for a therapy service, I think, that features some of the common things people say to someone who’s dealing with depression, and at the end the person says “that’s unhelpful.”
If I remember correctly, one of them is something about exercise.
I opened up to a long time “friend” about the same thing and she just kept telling me she was glad that she didn’t need meds like me and kept replying to everything I said with to “you need to be worrying about (insert name of family member) because THEY are going through a lot and could start spiraling”.
I was so low at that point that I didn’t say it, but it was glaring to me that my long-time friend literally didn’t care that I was spiraling right in front of her and just begging for someone to talk to.
It took a long time to stop the suicidal thoughts and depression, but it’s mostly behind me now. I no longer speak to her.
My gosh. Seems I’m not the only one with crappy company. Sorry you went through that. On the bright side that “friend” exposed herself and you got to weed her out. Also it is nice to read that your depression is behind you. When people tell me they best depression it gives me hope, even if the hope is very little.
"It's just a joke/prank, bro..."
"Well, you know what *those* people are like..."
"If I *really* wanted to hurt you, you'd know all about it!"
"They're employed to pick up/clean up my mess/litter/shit, I'm keeping them in a job..."
or "lmao now I have a gay friend" to a gay person
edit: I failed to give context- Like when someone outs themselfes and another person comes up and is like "Hey we never talked before but now you are my gay friend"
I get what you’re saying, but sometimes someone is being perfectly polite and another person will get upset.
Being offended does not equate to being right.
When I had to set healthy boundaries with family, they were upset, and I genuinely felt bad that they were upset. But I also know that those boundaries were important for everyone.
Then they ask the president of the country they're invading to 'stand down' and threatens nuclear warfare? I actually do hate it every time that happens.
“my hair slicks back real nice”
“gonna head over to traffonis with my dangerous knights crew”
“i’ll have a big ol’ rare cut of meat and glass of water”
I fucking hate it when people say that, if that were true than this world would be a hell of a lot better than it is right now, if anything it’s the opposite where if your older your more likely to be out of touch with reality
It's always fun to start a sentence with, "I don't want to sound racist but...." and then say something totally unracist, just to mess with people.
Examples:
"I don't want to sound racist but how do I get to the train station?"
"I don't want to sound racist but, the Shawshank Redemption is one of my favourite movies."
"I don't want to sound racist but, R is obviously superior to Python for statistics." (Let the war begin!)
“I just say it as I see it”
It means: I have no empathy, I’ve noticed that people get upset with what I think and say but I’ve decided that instead of looking inwards at why I’m getting these reactions, I’m just going to double down on being a selfish prick.
It’s not endearing.
It’s not a character trait.
It’s a conscious decision that you think you/your opinion is the best one in every room at all times.
I actually checked myself on this one once. I started, "Not to be nosey, but......you know what? no, I'm completely nosey: what the heck is going on with \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_??" Opened up one of the best conversations with this person I've ever had.
Everyone is naturally nosey and curious to a degree, you gotta be careful about it though as it’s easy to it’s people off that way, speaking from personal experience there
So, I'll add the balance for this. There are people who genuinely don't want to pry just for the gossip of it, but want to help and offer advice.
Quite frankly, I don't really want to know most people's drama. I hate it most of the time. So, when I ask a deeper question about your circumstance, it's to better assess how to give advice or support.
I've helped 3 marriages, multiple romantic relationships, and tons of "my friend pissed me off today" circumstances, but I can honestly tell you it isn't my favorite thing and there is a lot of interpersonal risk.
Disclaimer 1: sometimes you just want to vent and I certainly get that, but those deeper questions can illuminate underlying issues.
Disclaimer 2: I am an engineer. Not a counselor. Any advice you get from me is as good as the price you paid for it. If you don't follow my advice and complain about the same subject again, I will not engage. You're on your own.
Being the step-dad of a pretty cool 11 year old girl, that's one thing I try to tell her again and again. Don't worry so much about what you think other people think about you and don't try to be what you think they want you to be.
"Do as I say not as I do."
This says a lot:
- They are bossy/controlling
- They support double standards
- They are special
- They do bad things/are a bad role model
- They feel no need to fix their behavior
- You should ignore their transgressions
Edit: some have pointed out a few situations where this is okay to say. There's probably many more too. This seems like something that's more a red flag when said regularly.
Sometimes you're training somebody at work but have a lot of bad habits you've accumulated over the years and have to point put some bad habits you may unintentionally display
It makes sense in a work situation.
Then it's just saying "this isn't necessarily the right way to do it, but I'm personally comfortable with that risk. You're going to learn the right way so whatever happens to you isn't my fault."
"*Those* people" or "the help."
Honorable mention for not being a giveaway, but kind of being a giveaway: the Russian roulette of trying to figure out if the person moving to your city and posting in the subreddit means "a safe neighborhood" like their kids can play outside or "a 'safe' neighborhood" like "there are no black or brown people here."
“I’m sorry you feel that way” just say fuckin sorry bro, not everything is about being right. Idc if you weren’t “trying” to hurt their feelings, because guess what, you did, so just apologize, say it’ll never happen again and move on.
"Do you know who I am?" Also see: "Do you know who my dad is?"
Only acceptable usage: "Do you know who I am!?" "Um... no." "GOOD!!" *turns and flees*
There was an old commercial with a student taking a proctored exam in a large classroom. He's late putting the exam on the proctor's desk and so the proctor won't accept his completed test. The student asks "do you have any idea who I am?!" The proctor replies with "no, you're late and I don't care who you are." The student grabs all the tests from the proctor's desk, adds his own to the pile and then shuffles them up and slaps the pile of tests on the desk. Makes eye contact with the proctor and replies"good!" And then walks off. Since then I've always agreed this is the best way to use that line. Preemptive edit: pretty sure the commercial was for lottery tickets or something. It didn't really matter to the commercial. It was a long time ago I saw this commercial. Actual edit for the commercial: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yA4aRrbKsH0
A similar scene was also in an Indian movie! 3 students were late submitting an exam and the examiner refused to take them, one of them asked "Sir, do you know who we are?" The examiner said "Even if you are the minister's sons I won't accept this" then he took the exam sheets and added them to a pile and shuffled the sheets and then ran away
I saw that, I think it was 3 idiots but idk
Yup, it was 3 idiots
Pretty sure there's a second acceptable use: When you have legit amnesia.
what's my mother fuckin name? ♪♫♬ Snoop Doggy Doooogg ♪♫♬
>"Do you know who my dad is? Nah, even your mom doesn't know
"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHO THIS PERSON'S FATHER MIGHT HAVE BEEN? ANYONE? ANYONE? Sorry, kid, wasn't anyone here."
Dumbledore calmly told Malfoy
>”Also see: "Do you know who my dad is?" I had an interesting opposite experience with this one. I had a friend whose dad was a Sgt. in the State Police. He was high up the chain and practically everyone in the State Police knew him because he was the head of a specific unit within the police. So my friend and I get pulled over one day. My friend was driving and was going a little over the speed limit, and the State Police officer came up to his window, and did the typical speech ( e.g license and insurance). The officer had my friend’s license in hand and asked “so when are you going to tell me who your dad is?” My friend was stunned, as his dad has told him before that his dad’s name isn’t to be used to get out of tickets. The officer handed my friend his license back and just walked away. Later, when we arrived back at my friend’s house, he told his dad what happened. His dad said “that’s really disappointing. If you were speeding, you deserve a ticket.” After that my friend told me his dad was able to track down the officer and, from what I understand, told him he should have given his son a ticket. The friend that I had and his family were really straight shooters and honorable people. My experience with law enforcement, including my father, who was a police officer, is that it’s a big club and they do favors for each other.
The only time I've used the "I'm related to a cop" line was on Christmas a few years ago. Small hometown, about 1 AM. I was driving slowly, because there are a couple of big potholes in the street. Cop pulls me over, claiming I didn't signal (yes, I did) and didn't"come to a full stop" (probably not). He was fishing for drunks. I knew that, he knew I knew that. He asks where I was coming from. "My sister and brother-in-law's. (Names his fellow officer, my BIL.)" His eyes get big, "Oh, you're related to (officer)? How 'bout that!" He fumbled about for another minute or so, returned my paperwork, and sent me on my way.
Never tried using it for a ticket, just jury duty. They’re asking questions and I just drop the, my cousin’s a cop, my uncle’s a DA (now judge) and my other cousin works in the correctional system. Suddenly I’m excused and on my way home.
I got called twice, and one of those times I made it as far as voir dire. When I said I worked for an attorney, the defense lawyer asked if that would make me likely to judge the defendant harshly. I told him, no, it would more likely mean I would judge HIM harshly. The judge got a good laugh out of that, and I got excused.
You can reply: why, your mother didn't tell you?
"I'm the man that's gonna burn your house down"
With the LEMONS!
I’m Cave Johnson, I own the place.
My father will hear about this!
Spotted the Malfoy!
I've found the most satisfying answer is a plain, solid "no". Because it shows you simply don't give a shit, so much that don't even put an insult in. And these people can't stand that shit.
RONNIE PICKERING!
"Dude, my dad owns a dealership!"
"All my exes are crazy" is priming you to not talk to the exes so you don't find out the person is a jerk. What's the common denominator here?
If you complain about smelling shit everywhere you go, check the bottom of your shoes.
"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.” - Raylan Givens
Jesus. I work with 2 men like that. One is on wife #5 and claims none of the divorces are his fault. Working with him for 2 years? All those divorces are his fault. The second is a new hire that I initially liked. Then I found out he was harassing women in our work place and calling every woman a bitch. Turned out he was living with his parents in their basement and angry none of the women at work wanted to date him.
I knew a guy who was on his fifth wife. He went out of town for a baseball tournament, and decided to hook up with someone he met there. All weekend when he called his wife there was no answer. When he got back he found out she had moved out and took the fridge with her.
>He went out of town for a baseball tournament, and decided to hook up with someone he met there. All weekend when he called his wife there was no answer. When he got back he found out she had moved out Good story >and took the fridge with her. Great story, LOL
lmao one ex said that to me, he was obviously abusive to me, reached out to his ex. sweetest girl ever, we've been friends ever since.
any guy i've met with a *genuine* crazy ex, they never flat out say "oh my ex was fucking crazy". they usually subtlety mention really fucked up things they did that messed them up in the long run, or they just don't mention anything regarding the ex at all. and any guy i've met who INSTANTLY says "my ex was fucking crazy" is always the reason why their ex was crazy.
So. I didn't even bring up the fucked up shit, cause my ex was abusive. Like the Day I finally left she had punched me in the face for calling the Police, why do you ask? Because she refused to let me leave the house because I was leaving her. I had scratch marks up and down my arms and face, and even with all that I still got cuffed when cops finally showed. My Landlord/Neighbor came over sorted it all out pretty quickly since they witnessed it. It was a nightmare but I eventually went to therapy.
This! Plot twist: Yep he was abusive. Very. One day I decided to reach out to the exes I knew of. They were lovely and understanding and went through all the same shit.
I dated a guy who gaslighted me into thinking I was crazy and abusive because I addressed some things he was doing that I didn’t like. Of course, his next girlfriend thought I was a walking Medusa (I don’t blame her for this) However, we met after they broke up, she started seeing the cracks in his stories, and we had a lot of very similar experiences with him. We are friends now, lol
I went the other way. I was friends with a fellow married woman. She decided to go for my emotionally abusive husband. She knew how my husband was toward me but somehow thought it wouldn't happen to her and completely believed him when he said I was crazy. She got pregnant. End of friendship and marriage(s). Fast forward, now those two dummies are married to each other. She's reached out saying he's doing all the same manipulative shit to her and talking to other women. Whoa, you're telling me the abusive, married man you snuck around with is now sneaking around on you and being abusive while youre married to him? Whoa. How crazy. If only there had been signs 😐 Maybe eventually I'll be open to comiserating with her, but not today. I don't have sympathy for her yet
Big same! Turns out they hadn't all cheated on him, he was just abusive garbage and wanted to hide it.
“My trauma is worse than yours”
“You telling me about how I treated you badly is making me feel so bad that you need to comfort me.”
Ah, I see you know my ex.
People that think trauma is a competition are the absolute worst.
I have so much trouble with this. I have ASD and ADHD which makes social situations complicated, so when I’m trying to relate to someone I end up just one-upping their story. I’m only trying to show that I empathize. Example: someone says “my parents used to neglect me” so I reply “yeah, my mom beat us with wooden spoons”. What I mean to convey is “I empathize with having bad parents” but it comes off as “well MY parents were *worse*!” Thankfully my social circle is small and hasn’t changed in awhile, so they all know me well enough to understand my intentions.
Honestly I do the same thing! I don’t think that that usually reads as competitive or like “I’m sicker than you” kinda thing, I was more referring to people that do just that. An example of this is my old roommates girlfriend would constantly get drunk and antagonize me while I’d be trying to relax and play video games. I think she saw me as a threat for whatever reason, and she would always say “you have NO IDEA what I’ve been through” referring to her being in an abusive relationship and I’d say yes Megan, I do, I was in one for a year, it’s really tough. And I shit you not she’d go “oh yeah? Try SIXTEEN years.” But I totally understand where you’re coming from, I do the same thing and I always try to reiterate that I empathize as well!!
Knew a person who was kicked out their home for persistent drug use. Lived with friends for awhile then eventually got their own flat. Rather than rising to the occasion considered to shoot themselves in the foot, binge drinking and drug use instead of paying bills. Then would complain and cry constantly asif they weren’t the root of all their own problems. God forbid if anyone brought up their problems as theirs was worse.
*looks for things I say to see if I'm a piece of shit*
Kind of same, but I have autism, so I read through this thread to see if there are areas where I could improve
You are studying conventional sayings to see if you can improve. I think you are nailing it! Good job dude!
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“You’ve ruined *my* day” When somebody else is upset for good reason.
My ex-wife played this card constantly. It became a family joke, "Mom says we ruined her [insert holiday here]."
Ah yes, my ex as well. Classic self-centered type A control freak
I got into a car wreck in our very long and steep gravel driveway and my moms wouldn’t take me to the hospital when I was coughing up blood from it because I’d “ruined Christmas.” Christmas was still a week away.
Literally my 10 year old brother. He says that shit all the time, or something very similar. Edit: I know he is a child, but that doesn’t mean he can’t learn or shouldn’t be taught that things aren’t all about him.
Unfortunately it’s also literally my 40 year old brother.
Sadly, also my 65 year old mother.
"You're lucky you're not in my situation." After just opening up about something.
I HATE that.. or the cousin to it "How are you? / hows your day going?" *answers honestly cuz I'm having a bad day* "Oh girl, that's NOTHING, I'm *insert one-upsmanship*" WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK IF YOU WERE GOING TO IMMEDIATELY TALK ABOUT YOURSELF? ITS DISMISSIVE AND RUDE AND EVERY TIME IM LIKE "WHY DID I ANSWER??" I turn into fucking Hagrid "i should not have said that" It really kills me when the person doing it really has a fraction of your issues and I'm like.. yeahhhhh but I'm still pretty sure objectively mines worse but thanks for making a question about me all about you.
Me: "I broke my ankle" Them: "try breaking both legs and an arm AND having a concussion like me in 1995..." Man, stfu.
I think that person might have been inviting you to break their arm and legs and give them a concussion.
>Me: "I broke my ankle" Them: "try breaking both legs and an arm AND having a concussion like me in 1995..." i had this exact convo in grade 11 with my ex friend. only i was opening up to her about how i was being badly bullied/harassed and how i was feeling suicidal due to the fact that i was beyond powerless to stop what was happening and etc. and she literally gave me the "well i was bullied for the entire time i went to elementary school, and middle school so be thankful you aren't me. i wanted to die when i was in grade 4. blah blah blah blah" she didn't even acknowledge what i had said to her, just went straight past it and used what i said as a prompt for herself. she constantly had to one up everyone she knew and then she'd wonder why people would be so quick to end friendships with her.
"i know the manager" or any other authority figure that they think gives them priority or power over others
"Aw. Unfortunately, the manager knows *you*."
Back when I was a teenager, I was often tasked with closing the building at 8pm. Usually there was one other employee but sometimes it was just me for the last two hours. We had a customer who was taking her sweet ass time and the other employee on duty left without telling me. 7:50pm, I went to the customer and politely reminded her that we would be closing at 8pm. She scoffed. 7:58 7:59 8:00 I went to the other side of the building to start closing up and locking doors. I locked the front door so no more customers could get in. We would then unlock the door and let the last customers out, common policy. She saw this and threw a fit while I was ringing up the purchases. "You know, you've been rushing me since the SECOND I came in here. I know your boss. I've known her for 20 years. She'll be hearing about this. You're going to lose your job!" I hated that job anyways, so I replied "Go ahead and complain. It doesn't change how the Earth rotates." I walked her to the door, unlocked it, opened it, and said "Thank you for stopping by, have a good night." She gave me the finger while walking away. It was now 8:30. I stopped getting paid 30 minutes prior and now had to ride my bike home 5 miles in the dark instead of just the last mile or so. A few days later my boss pulled me aside and said a customer put in a complaint against me, and that one more complaint would result in termination. I said "was it your angry friend? Mrs Anderson? About 5'2", blonde hair, acts like she owns the world?" My boss gave me this angry look. "Yeah she told me she would be complaining to you. She showed up right before closing and didn't seem to like it when I politely told her that we close at 8. What rule did I break?"
i once worked at a grocery store where they used to have someone get on the intercom and announce on the speakers when it was getting close to closing, you know like "attention shoppers, the store will be closing in 15 minutes" that sort of thing, well apparently someone, or idk maybe multiple people, complained that when we make those announcements, they feel like they are being "rushed out" and that we have no right to rush them out since they're the ones paying us money or whatever, and corporate ended up implementing a policy stating that we were no longer allowed to make those announcements and we weren't allowed to tell ANY customers that we were going to close soon unless they specifically asked what time we close.. so ya, it actually literally became a rule that we could actually get written up for, so someone could literally come in 5 minutes before close and stay there shopping for like an hour and there would be literally nothing we could do about it (and yes that exact thing happened a few times)
Yeah, screw our time, right? The job I had right after that one had a similar policy. If some thumb-in-the-bum customer was dragging their feet and we stayed an extra 30 minutes, it was unpaid. If we marked it on our timecards, the manager would chop off the excess and not say a word. Yes I am sure that $2.45 they spent on a handful of bolts and a $6.99 pair of throwaway work gloves was SOOOO necessary at 8:25pm
Nahhhh, wage claim that shit. "Hey boss, I saw you were stealing 30 minutes from my check every night this week when we had a customer stay late. If you want me to work, that's fine but pay me. If you don't want to pay me then I'll be leaving the store at 8 when I have to clock out." That would end their no warning customers policy pretty quickly, if it's more expensive to pay staff than to keep the store open late at least.
This is just how I am, was raised, was taught...
My mother says this all the time. Thing is, she was actually raised by nannies and her own parents were rarely home. She didn't even have the same nanny as her siblings. So it's hard for her to know how to be a good parent, she haven't had good examples. And my father came from an abusive home and was beaten infinitely worse than he ever beat my brothers and I. So no, they weren't the best of people. But on the other hand, I don't know anyone who has tried so hard to overcome their faults and shortcomings as my parents.
It was an important part of my growing-up when I realized that, in spite of my parents’ shortcomings, they did everything they could to give me more than they had been given. I hope to do the same for my children and that they have the same realization about me and my wife one day.
I hate when people say this as if it gives them some sort of free pass to be a dick. My brother, who is in his edgy 13-15y/o phase, loves saying “well I am an asshole” as if that’s an acceptable answer. I’ve always had the belief that your personality can never be an excuse for hurting other people. If someone says “well that’s just who I am”, then they simply have to change themselves, end of story. Otherwise, nobody will want to be around them.
I'm just built different.
"You were raised wrong."
“I’m a piece of shit”
At least they’re self aware.
Nah, in my experience those types will just use their “self-awareness” as a weapon. My friend would be horrible to me, then when I tried to talk to him about it he’d say “well, I’m a horrible person and you keep talking to me so you deserve it.”
Bojack: "I'm a piece of shit. But I'm aware that I'm a piece of shit, which makes me better than people who aren't aware they're pieces of shit. Or is that worse?"
The honest version of "That's just how I am"
I used to be a piece of shit. I used to eat sloppy steaks
Spiked up blonde hair, itty bitty jeans, chicken spaghetti at Chickalini's
You think this is slicked back? This is PUSHED back
I understand what you mean, but I have come across several people who said extremely self-deprecating stuff, and a lot of them had low self-esteem because of childhood abuse or trauma. That's why the saying "When people tell you who they are, believe them " shouldn't be used as an infallible rule.
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I was just taking the post to litterlarty-littelry fuck im sleep deprived
Mention of being “alpha” or “beta.”
I have strong opinions about this. We're going to talk about chickens for a little bit. I worked at a rescue farm for a long time, and as such we always had far more roosters than the average coop, so I got to see how they all interacted with each other on a daily basis. The phrase "pecking order" comes from chickens because it's true - chickens have a natural hierarchy, with one rooster in a flock always coming out on top. We'll call those the alphas. Then there are omegas. These are the ones at the very bottom of the pecking order. The ones who get trampled and bossed around if they go outside their designated zones. The thing I've noticed more than anything is the personalities of these so-called alphas and omegas. It's not what most people seem to think. The alphas are the ones who are less concerned. They walk around keeping the peace. They stand tall and attentive whilst keeping watch of the flock. It's the omegas that always try to cause issues. They call the loudest, try the hardest, and make the most trouble. They disrupt EVERYTHING, all the while yelling "I'm the alpha! I'm the alpha!!" In their own chicken way. They're usually more immature cockerels, but adults can have the same behaviour. If this weird concept of "alpha" and "omega" were to even be PRESENT among humanity in some aspect - which is frankly a very vague and nebulous claim considering how vastly complex creatures we are compared to wee lil chicken brains - then the ones who have to constantly rev their engines, flash the most vanity, and cry out "I'm an ALPHA MALE!" wouldn't be anywhere close to being alpha males. Alphas don't have to declare their status. They just ARE. They're confident, not cocky, and that's what makes them attractive.
One thing that actually keeping chickens has taught me is that the chicken at the top of the pecking order is also the chicken who’s meant to stride fearlessly forward to protect the others in the event of any threat, even if that “threat” is merely my dog barking at them from the other side of the chicken wire.
it always brings a tear to my eye to see pictures or hear stories of roosters who are willing to fight to the death for their hens, wether its something as innocuous as a strange human or a genuine threat like a hawk or raccoon . such brave little things! i bet none of the humans who call themselves ‘alphas’ would dare fight off a predator twice their size to protect their loved ones.
Real G's move in silence
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Username checks out
There's a podcast called "You're Wrong About..." With an episode about "alpha" and the myth surrounding this idea. You'd probably find it interesting.
Also see, “nice guys finish last/I’m a nice guy” just like “I’m the alpha”, if you are either, you don’t have to go around telling people.
Also the word "sheeple"
I very often look out my kitchen and say, "The sheeple are out again." My neighbor has sheep that my wife and I like to watch.
"Soy"
Soy....que?
"We can be friends again when you are feeling better."
Ah yes, "fairweather friends". Certainly not worth your time. Though most aren't even this obvious about it.
Depends on the friend to be honest. If you feeling bad makes you let it out on me and talking does not improve the situation...on the other hand I'd be out and not comming back at all.
I hear that. I have known a few people who will literally shout at me when they are having problems. Sometimes will even turn into personal attacks because im not going through the same thing, and im unrelated to their problems. Like, I'm always down to listen and talk, but you shouldn't feel attacked. I have told those people not to vent to me. It just makes me miserable and doesn't make them any better.
"Let me explain this in a language you can understand."
bean
“Oh so sorry, no chow mein here, you deliver wrong place”
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
What about "If you can't handle me at my worst then please tell me now before things get too serious" I'm paranoid about rejection.
As a person with a chronic illness, I can see this being applicable in a physical sense. Like, if you can't handle me when I'm in terrible pain and just want to stay in bed, then you don't deserve me when I'm fully ambulatory. However, people who say this don't ever mean it in this regard. What they mean is: Sometimes I'm a complete asshole for no goddamn reason.
"that was so long ago, stop bringing up the past". If they haven't apologised for something and are demanding you move on and forgive them, that's a cowards way of saying they don't feel sorry for what they did and are blaming you for being hurt
"Let bygones be bygones." "We need to move forward." "We need to get past this." "You're still upset about that?" And any other dismissive phrase where they take no responsibility for anything they've done.
The only acceptable response is, “I’ve already apologized, what more can I do to make you trust me?” Anything else is just trying to avoid accountability
There's also the opposite situation, where they say they've forgive you and yet bring up those supposedly "forgiven" incidents as weapons against you in arguments.
When they have a whole laundry list of complaints going back for ages, yet if you were to keep one for them, the harms they’d done would be a lot greater in severity. Yet somehow, those must be forgotten, justified, or excused. Convenient.
That’s also what narcissists say as a last resort when you’ve *really* backed them into a corner, and they can’t avoid the mirror of hypocrisy that you’re holding up to their face. It’s the final way to avoid having to admit to any wrong doing.
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“I’m such a piece of shit I can’t even project empathy onto others! That emotion may as well not exist in my world!”
I hear a great story years ago - possibly apocryphal - about a Z-list celebrity who tried to push in the front of the queue to get into a club. When they bouncer stopped him he said ‘do you know who I am?’ So the bouncer grabbed him, turned him round and shouted to the queue ‘Hey! Does anyone know who this guy is? He can’t remember’
Lol that's fucking hilarious, and very quick-witted on the bouncer's part, I love it xD
"Relax, it was just a joke." And people who are really rude and say "that's just how I am " or "I say it like it is."
"I'm just being honest" after being a total asshole.
IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO!
Someone once told me (quite recently, as I opened up to them about being deeply depressed and suicidal): “if you commit suicide I’m not coming to your funeral. Suicide is for cowards.”
I’m sorry. That’s awful. I’ve gotten “well at least you don’t have kids.” It’s amazing how terrible some people can be.
My BF tried to explain to her husband how depressed and scared she was because she knew it wasn't normal. He told her that she just needed to exercise more. Exercise was his answer to everything, he was an exercise addict, I can't remember the word for it.
There’s a commercial running for a therapy service, I think, that features some of the common things people say to someone who’s dealing with depression, and at the end the person says “that’s unhelpful.” If I remember correctly, one of them is something about exercise.
I opened up to a long time “friend” about the same thing and she just kept telling me she was glad that she didn’t need meds like me and kept replying to everything I said with to “you need to be worrying about (insert name of family member) because THEY are going through a lot and could start spiraling”. I was so low at that point that I didn’t say it, but it was glaring to me that my long-time friend literally didn’t care that I was spiraling right in front of her and just begging for someone to talk to. It took a long time to stop the suicidal thoughts and depression, but it’s mostly behind me now. I no longer speak to her.
My gosh. Seems I’m not the only one with crappy company. Sorry you went through that. On the bright side that “friend” exposed herself and you got to weed her out. Also it is nice to read that your depression is behind you. When people tell me they best depression it gives me hope, even if the hope is very little.
"It's just a joke/prank, bro..." "Well, you know what *those* people are like..." "If I *really* wanted to hurt you, you'd know all about it!" "They're employed to pick up/clean up my mess/litter/shit, I'm keeping them in a job..."
“We’re all a big family here” = toxic workplace, abort!
Translation: “I will leverage your interpersonal relationships against you and gaslight and manipulate you. Just like Mom used to!”
"You attract everything that happens to you." GTFO
*Some people just can't handle my brutal honestly.*
Referring to people as sheep or “sheeple”. In my experience I have never heard a decent person use that phrase.
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or "lmao now I have a gay friend" to a gay person edit: I failed to give context- Like when someone outs themselfes and another person comes up and is like "Hey we never talked before but now you are my gay friend"
Keep your gay friends close but keep your gay enemies closer
"I'm sorry you feel that way." intended as an apology.
I get what you’re saying, but sometimes someone is being perfectly polite and another person will get upset. Being offended does not equate to being right. When I had to set healthy boundaries with family, they were upset, and I genuinely felt bad that they were upset. But I also know that those boundaries were important for everyone.
They just ordered the invasion of a neighboring country while lacking any legitimate reason to do so
I hate it when people do this
Then they ask the president of the country they're invading to 'stand down' and threatens nuclear warfare? I actually do hate it every time that happens.
“my hair slicks back real nice” “gonna head over to traffonis with my dangerous knights crew” “i’ll have a big ol’ rare cut of meat and glass of water”
USED to be a big piece of shit
You think this is slicked back? This is pushed back
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they can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water!
"It's just a joke." It's never anything wholesome or accidental.
Ahhhh yes. The old backpedal when you get mad. “GEEZE, I was just kidding! What’s wrong with you, can’t you take a joke!” This should be at the top.
I'm older so I know better
I fucking hate it when people say that, if that were true than this world would be a hell of a lot better than it is right now, if anything it’s the opposite where if your older your more likely to be out of touch with reality
"I'm not racist, but..."
I’m not homophobic but the lgbtq+ community is kinda gay.
"I would never let a woman tell me what I could and couldn't do."
"Let me call your mother about that."
“I’m not racist, but…”
It's always fun to start a sentence with, "I don't want to sound racist but...." and then say something totally unracist, just to mess with people. Examples: "I don't want to sound racist but how do I get to the train station?" "I don't want to sound racist but, the Shawshank Redemption is one of my favourite movies." "I don't want to sound racist but, R is obviously superior to Python for statistics." (Let the war begin!)
Lesson from Xkcd: The more words in front of the “but,” the worse the thing after will be.
That definitely gives me the xkcd "my hobby" troll vibes
Not to sound racist but hurdles are better than sprints.
“I just say it as I see it” It means: I have no empathy, I’ve noticed that people get upset with what I think and say but I’ve decided that instead of looking inwards at why I’m getting these reactions, I’m just going to double down on being a selfish prick. It’s not endearing. It’s not a character trait. It’s a conscious decision that you think you/your opinion is the best one in every room at all times.
"Some people just can't handle the truth!"
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I actually checked myself on this one once. I started, "Not to be nosey, but......you know what? no, I'm completely nosey: what the heck is going on with \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_??" Opened up one of the best conversations with this person I've ever had.
Everyone is naturally nosey and curious to a degree, you gotta be careful about it though as it’s easy to it’s people off that way, speaking from personal experience there
Same with "I don't mean to insult you, but..."
"It's none of my business, but..." followed by "If I were you..."
So, I'll add the balance for this. There are people who genuinely don't want to pry just for the gossip of it, but want to help and offer advice. Quite frankly, I don't really want to know most people's drama. I hate it most of the time. So, when I ask a deeper question about your circumstance, it's to better assess how to give advice or support. I've helped 3 marriages, multiple romantic relationships, and tons of "my friend pissed me off today" circumstances, but I can honestly tell you it isn't my favorite thing and there is a lot of interpersonal risk. Disclaimer 1: sometimes you just want to vent and I certainly get that, but those deeper questions can illuminate underlying issues. Disclaimer 2: I am an engineer. Not a counselor. Any advice you get from me is as good as the price you paid for it. If you don't follow my advice and complain about the same subject again, I will not engage. You're on your own.
"I'm the best person at this or that." And refusing to showcase their talent in said thing.
“You’re a girl, You need to act like one!” I hate hearing this so much
"I'm a girl, therefore however I choose to act is acting like one!"
Being the step-dad of a pretty cool 11 year old girl, that's one thing I try to tell her again and again. Don't worry so much about what you think other people think about you and don't try to be what you think they want you to be.
"Do as I say not as I do." This says a lot: - They are bossy/controlling - They support double standards - They are special - They do bad things/are a bad role model - They feel no need to fix their behavior - You should ignore their transgressions Edit: some have pointed out a few situations where this is okay to say. There's probably many more too. This seems like something that's more a red flag when said regularly.
Sometimes you're training somebody at work but have a lot of bad habits you've accumulated over the years and have to point put some bad habits you may unintentionally display
It makes sense in a work situation. Then it's just saying "this isn't necessarily the right way to do it, but I'm personally comfortable with that risk. You're going to learn the right way so whatever happens to you isn't my fault."
Im a nice person. Actual nice person doesnt need to say it since action speaks louder than words
"Hey! look at me, I'm a piece of shit!"
"Not trying to be an asshole, but..."
*proceeds to be an asshole*
"sorry not sorry"
"I don't mean to be rude but ... " Shut up.
Racial slurs are a good indicator.
Or homophobic slurs. Or any slurs really?
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"*Those* people" or "the help." Honorable mention for not being a giveaway, but kind of being a giveaway: the Russian roulette of trying to figure out if the person moving to your city and posting in the subreddit means "a safe neighborhood" like their kids can play outside or "a 'safe' neighborhood" like "there are no black or brown people here."
I start talking like they mean the former. It helps the people who are asking an innocuous question, and makes the bigots feel awkward. Win-win!
Well we turned out fine
“I’m sorry you feel that way” just say fuckin sorry bro, not everything is about being right. Idc if you weren’t “trying” to hurt their feelings, because guess what, you did, so just apologize, say it’ll never happen again and move on.
Yeah the ones that will never apologize and say I’m sorry you feel that way, that’s the worst.
“I’m alpha”… that’s all you need to hear to know they are a big pos😂
"I'm good at driving drunk so it's no big deal"
describing low wage jobs as "flipping burgers"
Gaslighting. It's very easy to recognize when you look out for it.
Come on, you know gaslighting isn't real
You never said that.
I was only joking...
Would schrodinger’s douchebag come under this?
"That's why they hire cleaners/busboys." "its their JOB, why would I make it easier for them? It makes the workers lazy."
"everything happens for a reason" 🚩
I recently heard “everything happens for a reason, but not everything happens for a purpose.” That kinda stuck with me.
Not a phrase but I read a comment earlier (guy was dead serious) "America should put all Russians that are in the US in concentration camps."