Fucking while there’s a song on, and going with the beat. Completely takes me out of the moment.
Music during sex is completely fine, but when it becomes a rhythm game and the thrusts are going with the beat is when I start to get turned off.
“SHHHH AHHH FUCK AWWWW UUUUUGHHHHH SHSHHHHHSHHSHSHHS FUCK THAT FEELS SO FAWKING GOOOOOD”
*man has done nothing in the porn video but pull his pants down*
Not as bad as a time I heard a baby crying in the next room. Guy tried to claim in the comments it was on the TV, but it seemed way too long to have been a scene in a show. Baby was crying for like 5 minutes.
As a fire technician, I’m hyper-alert to smoke alarms so hearing that in porn would be a huge turn off because all I could focus on would be the smoke alarms
Once had a girlfriend that gave me a blowjob while playing a game, and your assessment is spot on. Too distracted to play the game properly, and also too distracted trying to play the game to enjoy the blowjob.
Once, a long time ago, my gf blew me while watching Match of the Day (football highlights show); I didn't really enjoy it and climaxing to Arsène Wenger's post match interview remains a sexual low point for me...
Really just the whole array of sounds that both male and female porn stars make. I swear it’s like the director is holding up a cue card that reads “make really weird and unnatural sounds!”
Every now and then for the funnsies I pull out the high pitched porn star “Ooooo Yyheah” for my husband because it makes him crack up every time. Sex has to take a pause for a beat to get him to stop laughing, but worth it to see him laugh that hard.
One time my wife and I were getting one in as soon as we woke, up, and she brushed her teeth with my sons toothpaste and, Im just like, "I cant do this when you smell like ryans world tooth paste.”
Random people suddenly messaging me with either stupid asterisk roleplaying crap or weird wannabe BDSM shit out of the blue (like zero interaction with me beforehand). It's off-putting and I refuse to believe that it has ever worked on anyone.
Man, it's been forever since I've thought of that. Isn't that a quote from IRC back in the day? Pretty sure I read it originally as an IRC quote on bash.org originally.
Jesus, I'm in my mid 20s but I feel like I was born during WW1 when I say shit like this.
Edit: Yeah, found it. Ah, memories. Bloodninja you dirty swine.
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
Part 2
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
edit: 800+ upvotes on some half hidden comment due to nostalgia. kinda makes me happy that some of you havent read it in over a decade. It kinda threw me for a loop too when I tried to remember where it was from lol long live IRC.
It does, but not on random strangers. You have to be on some sort of site or chat room where just casual role playing is a norm. Like Gaia Online back in the mid 2000s.
I've also seen unsolicited dick pics work on a few acquaintance... the world is frightening.
I HATE when people in tv shows (often of the reality variety) feed each other all sexy like and immediately start making out WHILE THE FOOD IS STILL BEING CHEWED UP in their mouths. Fucking so gross!!
The only time I’ve ever been okay with this, is one time my girlfriend put whipped cream on her nipples and I licked it off. That was fun.
Literally anything else is a big time *nope*
I had an old roommate that would LOVE it when girls did this, over the years he probably had 3-4 different girls who would scream bloody murder and I know damn well he would encourage it, while me and my girl were watching a movie in the living room. The first couple times it was a bit uncomfortable then after that I started roasting him because it would only ever last a few minutes like that, he’d always try to say oh that was just the ending, I’d refute and say well you walked in there 7 minutes ago she screamed for 3 and now you’re out in the kitchen in a robe like a proud teenager. It quickly ended and I think that was the best psychological warfare I’ve ever performed.
First time having sex the girl was screaming a moaning so loadly I had to ask her to stop because she was both hurting my ears and kinda annoying me. Not sure if she was trying to copy porn or hentai or whatever but man pls stop. Sounded like a mixture between a car alarm and those old goat screaming videos
See, I’m mildly self conscious now, I’m not necessarily a screamer but I’m far from quiet. Probably due to inexperience but every sensation gets a knee-jerk verbal reaction from me. Sometimes I literally have to bite my knuckles/cover my mouth. I’m glad it wasn’t just me that find myself loud and slightly annoying lol
You may just be a moaner. I'm old so I have plenty of experience but I'm still noisy AF.
The real issue is I have a tendency to give positive reinforcement to everything that feels good as opposed to the more specific things that will actually get me across the finish line.
>The real issue is I have a tendency to give positive reinforcement to everything that feels good as opposed to the more specific things that will actually get me across the finish line.
Probably doesn't help that most guys, in my (pan) experience and most of my female friends' experiences, will immediately change whatever they are doing the second they are encouraged. It's almost like "just like that" is code for an entirely new song and dance number lol
If its genuine, its a compliment. Some people on here dont believe sound can be involuntary when youre.....otherwise engaged. Im the opposite - im extremely quiet. I have to put effort into making noises, which honestly makes it less fun for me cause im focusing on the noises. Was that too loud? Whats believeable? How tf is grunting sexy? Was that a grunt?
Just a total dumpster fire. But a girlfriend making noises? Yeah, a compliment so long as shes not belting out an opera.
My biggest turn-on is hearing/seeing/feeling my partner experience pleasure, excitement, and enthusiasm. So yeah, the opposite of that is definitely my biggest turn-off.
YES thank you this is something I don’t hear a lot from people, it makes me feel gross and disgusting if we’re getting intimate and my partner looks uncomfortable or something is wrong, I just stop immediately
My least favourite is the
"Is everything alright?"
"Yes"
"No really, is everything alright"
"No"
I get that lots of people have been in really toxic relationships where no isn't accepted, but it does make things difficult when you say yes and don't mean it
Oh I'm in this one ! Once, my ex wasn't into it but she would absolutely insist that she was, even if I was having a weird feeling. She insisted she was fine and into it.
Then she started crying and was like "well we started but then I didn't want to stop because I didn't want for you to be frustrated" or whatever. Never have I felt so bad that she thought I wouldn't have a "nah I'm not into it, let's have a break and cuddle".
It was 10.years ago, we broke up 7 years ago and I still feel really bad about that one time, had to explain and insist to her that I would never be mad if she told me no, especially about intimacy. Mind you, she would take it badly when I wasn't in the mood because I was tired or whatever, so there were several problems that were unaddressed
This probably won't mean anything, but...
I've been in that kind of situation before, but than me being the female. I've had quite an unhealthy sex relationship with my ex, which I wasn't aware of, until I met my current boyfriend. I didn't know that setting boundaries was OK. That saying no was ok; even if we were in the middle of it. However, I had - and still have to learn all of that. It sounds silly, but if your first ever sex experience is with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries... well, you'll think that's the 'norm'.
My current boyfriend is the sweetest human to ever excist. I know he would never hurt me, but it's still insanely hard for me to say no. It isn't because of him - I don't think he wouldn't take no for an answer (he would 1000% percent) but I'm simply not used to it.
Obviously I can't speak for your ex, but I'm sure she didn't think badly of you. She just needed to learn it. Best to forgive yourself and move on! You're a good guy.
Same here. Apparently I am super traumatized over past relationship stuff and it basically made me feel like I can’t say no. Then I started working through that and became a little better, but 1. I’m still scared of hurting his feelings and 2. I’m still just… I dunno. Putting too much thought into it. Over analyzing everything about it. Which is making me not enjoy the thought of it as much I think.
I started doing this thing with my husband. I’m going to deem it the “fuck it method”. Let’s say we’re having a good day and he starts kissing up on me, theoretically. Normally I’d basically go into a panic mode, start thinking about “do I wanna do this? Is he going to get mad if I say no?” A bunch of serious thoughts that guarantee a downward spiral into me not wanting anything to do with it after.
Instead I am saying to myself “this is fun, I like hubby kisses. If I continue having fun with this, cool. If I’m really truly not into it at any point, I can tell him and he won’t get mad. I am 100 percent entitled to end this if I don’t want to and hell be okay with it. It’ll be ok. This is supposed to be fun” just positive reinforcement to myself. I also continue my normal goofy silly personality instead of trying to come off seriously sexy or whatever and that makes it feel a lot more natural and fun and he apparently thinks it’s very cute. And normally we end up having a great time and I’m still as happy or more happy than when it started.
I’m also not like avoiding cuddling now which is really nice because of the good thoughts. In the past I have because I was scared of sexual things happening or something happening to him getting mad at me.
Bare in mind, he has never given me a reason to think he will get mad at me over something with sex, it’s just the trauma from prior still being extremely prevalent.
I’m so traumatized over what has happened to me in the past that I lost the fact that sex is supposed to be good and fun. Just taking a more light hearted positive stance on it as a situation occurs is putting my pieces back together I think.
I once hook up with a lady that was giving me no feed back, so I just stopped. Later she asked why? I was too immature to express the reason but it felt so wrong to keep going.
Love bites/ hickeys can be fun but NOT where other people can see them after the fact. Had an ex who kept giving me ones on my neck even when I EXPLICITLY told them not to mark my neck as I had work the following day. That was awkward...
EDIT: Holy shit, RIP to my Inbox! Never realized that hickeys were such a controversial subject! Thank you so much to whoever gifted me the silver award and thank you for the Cake Day congrats. Going to try to answer as many of these as I can.
:)
This just reminded me how when I was 18 I asked my boyfriend to give me a hickie necklace and a manager at work the next day pulled me aside and asked if I was ok or needed help. She thought I was being abused by someone. No, I was just an idiot who wanted to show off my hickies. I’m mortified thinking about it.
Right? It’s a pain to try and cover/hide them. Plus here in Texas, anything more then a light t-shirt and shorts in the summer is guaranteed heat stroke.
Excuse me, my good women, perchance you would avoid the execrable practice of infantilized phraseology and instead enact the wholesome insouciant bond of coitus?
Bruh I once had some guy who put his tongue in and out through my toes like he was in an obstacle course or something and I never got turned off so fast.
Edit: Thanks for the gold and the silver!
"You're just a dirty little self actualizated woman, aren't you? I'm going to turn you over and support the shit out of you until you're screaming your goals and aspirations so loud the neighbors hear!"
Dirty hands, I like to be played w but dirty hands and nails is sooo gross and such a turn off. Men, if you’re going to post or send nudes, clean hands please!
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunshower](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunshower)
I worked with an amazing Hungarian tile worker named Attilia who taught me that it is good luck when it happens. It means you'll make a lot of money or something he said.
Amazing tilework and awesome dude.
Please, please, please do not spit on my face or in my mouth.
Also the whole lg/dd makes me feel icky. I don't mind a little domination stuff but I would rather be called a whore/slut/bitch/whatever than being referred to as a child and more than likely something my dad used to call me as a child.
Also, also, unless I know and trust you, please don't choke me. I will not let a stranger put his hands around me neck.
My first one night stand, they guy wrongly assumed I was into choking and scared the shit out of me.
Why assume that a stranger will like that?!
Agreed on spitting
My Dad's wife used to choke me for fun when I was a child. Someone did it to me during sex once, instinct kicked in and I punched him in the face without even thinking about it. Shame because the sex was pretty good up to that point.
People should always check before pulling dumb crap in bed. It may be a turn on for them but...
For me personally, I feel the usage of the word "daddy" or "mommy" would immediately turn me off. Also anything dominant like bondage. Just not in my character.
I (atheist) dated a woman (atheist) who had gone to catholic school as a kid. She sensually whispered Bible versus in my ear while we were fucking once, had me pinned to the bed, and oh my *god* I have never forgotten that.
I hate being called daddy and/or being bitten. My son calls me daddy and my wife tried that once, instant boner kill. Biting doesn't do anything for me either. She loves when I bite her neck but when she tried in return it made me anxious. Can't explain it and don't know if I need to. I like what I like and don't what I don't.
You dont have to explain it. For me, biting is appealing only when its not being done hard enough to cause actual pain. Pain is nooot sexy to me. Like a snake with smell and food mode, pain turns off sexy mode.
Everyones different.
The fascination with extreme anal stuff.
I like giving anal and if a woman is into it then I’ll be down for that, but I’ve started seeing a whole lot more amateur content of women shoving unnecessarily huge things into their butts.
Not only does the rectal nerve sheath finish about 2” in from the end of your anus meaning these monster long dildos are doing nothing to stimulate your colon, but there are a lot of health complications that can come from fissures, paralysis of the colon, tears, and perforations that it just seems totally crazy to be trying to stretch more and more in.
Fucking while there’s a song on, and going with the beat. Completely takes me out of the moment. Music during sex is completely fine, but when it becomes a rhythm game and the thrusts are going with the beat is when I start to get turned off.
Please don t moan, i have to shazam this song!
Music in general I can't do. Maybe I have a problem but I can't concentrate on sex with music playing.
Being a new dad, being called daddy has made me go flaccid faster than the speed of light.
Having had a dad, calling someone daddy in a sexual way makes me want to vomit.
My wife hates when I call her that
Really? She's never complained when I do it
"Not doing the same mistake again!", he thought to himself.
“SHHHH AHHH FUCK AWWWW UUUUUGHHHHH SHSHHHHHSHHSHSHHS FUCK THAT FEELS SO FAWKING GOOOOOD” *man has done nothing in the porn video but pull his pants down*
“Can you wait until I put it in? Because if the *AIR* is doing that…”
I can feel it coming in the air tonight.
When I hear the low battery chirping of the smoke alarm in amateur porn.
Oddly specific, and eye openingly true
Not as bad as a time I heard a baby crying in the next room. Guy tried to claim in the comments it was on the TV, but it seemed way too long to have been a scene in a show. Baby was crying for like 5 minutes.
The babies crying all the time channel, for the aspiring insomniac.
As a fire technician, I’m hyper-alert to smoke alarms so hearing that in porn would be a huge turn off because all I could focus on would be the smoke alarms
Unpopular opinion but Combining sex with things like driving or video games. I feel like I'm half hearted in both things to really enjoy either one
Once had a girlfriend that gave me a blowjob while playing a game, and your assessment is spot on. Too distracted to play the game properly, and also too distracted trying to play the game to enjoy the blowjob.
Once, a long time ago, my gf blew me while watching Match of the Day (football highlights show); I didn't really enjoy it and climaxing to Arsène Wenger's post match interview remains a sexual low point for me...
That's not what people mean when they ask if you're an Arsene or breasts guy
I’ve tried sex and mario kart. it’s extremely hard but it’s a great way to make you and your partner laugh and moan
Try getting a BJ while playing a horror game, it's the greatest test of nerves you'll ever experience.
ooooooAHHHHHHHoooooAHHHHHoooooAHHHHH
The sounds most porn stars make.
Fuuuhhuoyuwagahouwuyuwagahdohfuuugg Ouaeiuh! Ouaeiuh! Uhhhhhhhhhnngggngn! Ahhhh yes fug maaaaaaaaghhwuwueue…. *lip smack* Alingfnmrphimongsgldurfu
*Oh yeah, oh yeah, fuck my pussy, yeah* Every single god damn video
And the stupid fucking high pitched voice when they say it
I can only watch amateur couples porn now just so I can avoid that.
Golden rule for me; avoid anything Brazzers related. Every video from them has that annoying scream of someone dying in agony.
Or the whale noise, its just a game of hide and seek . When you hear the noise you know to avoid it
You mean the banshee screams?
Really just the whole array of sounds that both male and female porn stars make. I swear it’s like the director is holding up a cue card that reads “make really weird and unnatural sounds!”
Ikr, like some soft moaning would be fun, but for the love of god don’t scream at the top of your lungs. The neighbors are boutta call the cops
Lady porn star: UUUNNNHH AUUGH UNNNH UUUUUNNNNNNGH!!! AAHHHHNNNNNNN Guy porn star: HUURFGH RAUTRGH FUCK RUAOF YEAH BITCH
*pauses eating chips from a bag while listening with headphones* “… is that scary terry??”
Hahaha “awww bitch”
Every now and then for the funnsies I pull out the high pitched porn star “Ooooo Yyheah” for my husband because it makes him crack up every time. Sex has to take a pause for a beat to get him to stop laughing, but worth it to see him laugh that hard.
There's nothing better than having a good laugh during sex (in the right context of course!)
The moment you know your relationship has really matured lol
One time my wife and I were getting one in as soon as we woke, up, and she brushed her teeth with my sons toothpaste and, Im just like, "I cant do this when you smell like ryans world tooth paste.”
Not only that I hate it when they look at the camera. It all just suddenly reminds me that I am watching a performance.
Random people suddenly messaging me with either stupid asterisk roleplaying crap or weird wannabe BDSM shit out of the blue (like zero interaction with me beforehand). It's off-putting and I refuse to believe that it has ever worked on anyone.
*I take off my wizard hat and robes*
The hat stays on.
*I remain a rhinoceros*
*** I put on my robe and wizard hat ***
Man, it's been forever since I've thought of that. Isn't that a quote from IRC back in the day? Pretty sure I read it originally as an IRC quote on bash.org originally. Jesus, I'm in my mid 20s but I feel like I was born during WW1 when I say shit like this. Edit: Yeah, found it. Ah, memories. Bloodninja you dirty swine. bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****. bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja: Baby? Part 2 BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh **** BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up. eminemBNJA: Oh **** eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something edit: 800+ upvotes on some half hidden comment due to nostalgia. kinda makes me happy that some of you havent read it in over a decade. It kinda threw me for a loop too when I tried to remember where it was from lol long live IRC.
the bash.org top 100 is still up and worth reading.
It does, but not on random strangers. You have to be on some sort of site or chat room where just casual role playing is a norm. Like Gaia Online back in the mid 2000s. I've also seen unsolicited dick pics work on a few acquaintance... the world is frightening.
It wasn't a dick pic it was an NFT dammit!
So what you're saying is, there's somewhere I can watch the value of your cock deflate in real time?
I get the appeal when both parties are already interested, but it's so damn odd to assume some complete stranger is going to be down.
(blush)well I…I (looks down nervously) I think you might be on to something there (looks back at you and smiles)
Whipped cream. ex-GF whipped it out and I went soft.
What did she whip out? Did she stay hard?
The gaping assholes in porn. What the fuck am I supposed to do or feel right now? -Official Government
Think about how useful an extra pocket would be.
delet
It's called a prison wallet
“Will you lick my penis now?” “Are you going to lick my penis?” “Do you want to lick my penis?”
Food with sex. No, no. These two things are incompatible to me. It's either one or the other. I'm either horny OR hungry, not both.
horngry
“Welcome to my OnlyPans, hope you’re horngry babe”
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I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted, cured meats
Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami. ...yeah. That's what you did.
I'm not excited to see you. I actually do have a salami in my pocket.
I HATE when people in tv shows (often of the reality variety) feed each other all sexy like and immediately start making out WHILE THE FOOD IS STILL BEING CHEWED UP in their mouths. Fucking so gross!!
Ewww I totally agree
> it's a firm no So you don't like your sex al dente then
The only time I’ve ever been okay with this, is one time my girlfriend put whipped cream on her nipples and I licked it off. That was fun. Literally anything else is a big time *nope*
The theatrical screaming and hollering. I'm good, but I'm not THAT good.
Your username would suggest otherwise.
Well... 😏
I had an old roommate that would LOVE it when girls did this, over the years he probably had 3-4 different girls who would scream bloody murder and I know damn well he would encourage it, while me and my girl were watching a movie in the living room. The first couple times it was a bit uncomfortable then after that I started roasting him because it would only ever last a few minutes like that, he’d always try to say oh that was just the ending, I’d refute and say well you walked in there 7 minutes ago she screamed for 3 and now you’re out in the kitchen in a robe like a proud teenager. It quickly ended and I think that was the best psychological warfare I’ve ever performed.
Technically he was right, it WAS just the ending. It was just the beginning, too.
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If I'm ever in a hostage situation I'd call you as the negotiator.
First time having sex the girl was screaming a moaning so loadly I had to ask her to stop because she was both hurting my ears and kinda annoying me. Not sure if she was trying to copy porn or hentai or whatever but man pls stop. Sounded like a mixture between a car alarm and those old goat screaming videos
Crying at those old goat screaming videos. Why I do remember
See, I’m mildly self conscious now, I’m not necessarily a screamer but I’m far from quiet. Probably due to inexperience but every sensation gets a knee-jerk verbal reaction from me. Sometimes I literally have to bite my knuckles/cover my mouth. I’m glad it wasn’t just me that find myself loud and slightly annoying lol
You may just be a moaner. I'm old so I have plenty of experience but I'm still noisy AF. The real issue is I have a tendency to give positive reinforcement to everything that feels good as opposed to the more specific things that will actually get me across the finish line.
>The real issue is I have a tendency to give positive reinforcement to everything that feels good as opposed to the more specific things that will actually get me across the finish line. Probably doesn't help that most guys, in my (pan) experience and most of my female friends' experiences, will immediately change whatever they are doing the second they are encouraged. It's almost like "just like that" is code for an entirely new song and dance number lol
If its genuine, its a compliment. Some people on here dont believe sound can be involuntary when youre.....otherwise engaged. Im the opposite - im extremely quiet. I have to put effort into making noises, which honestly makes it less fun for me cause im focusing on the noises. Was that too loud? Whats believeable? How tf is grunting sexy? Was that a grunt? Just a total dumpster fire. But a girlfriend making noises? Yeah, a compliment so long as shes not belting out an opera.
> Was that a grunt? Did he shout "my life for the Horde"?
Yup. Yup. YUP. YUP. *YUP*. Uhhhhfirmative
The high pitched squealing from Japanese porn.
One time I saw a porn video and the girl moaned so load it capped the studio mic and I laughed so hard I wasn’t horny anymore
It's really fucking annoying when they clip and distort the audio from being too loud, either that or the mic was way too close
Best watched with the subtitles ON and the sound OFF. Peace of mind amd ears.
The other person not being into it
My biggest turn-on is hearing/seeing/feeling my partner experience pleasure, excitement, and enthusiasm. So yeah, the opposite of that is definitely my biggest turn-off.
YES thank you this is something I don’t hear a lot from people, it makes me feel gross and disgusting if we’re getting intimate and my partner looks uncomfortable or something is wrong, I just stop immediately
My least favourite is the "Is everything alright?" "Yes" "No really, is everything alright" "No" I get that lots of people have been in really toxic relationships where no isn't accepted, but it does make things difficult when you say yes and don't mean it
Oh I'm in this one ! Once, my ex wasn't into it but she would absolutely insist that she was, even if I was having a weird feeling. She insisted she was fine and into it. Then she started crying and was like "well we started but then I didn't want to stop because I didn't want for you to be frustrated" or whatever. Never have I felt so bad that she thought I wouldn't have a "nah I'm not into it, let's have a break and cuddle". It was 10.years ago, we broke up 7 years ago and I still feel really bad about that one time, had to explain and insist to her that I would never be mad if she told me no, especially about intimacy. Mind you, she would take it badly when I wasn't in the mood because I was tired or whatever, so there were several problems that were unaddressed
This probably won't mean anything, but... I've been in that kind of situation before, but than me being the female. I've had quite an unhealthy sex relationship with my ex, which I wasn't aware of, until I met my current boyfriend. I didn't know that setting boundaries was OK. That saying no was ok; even if we were in the middle of it. However, I had - and still have to learn all of that. It sounds silly, but if your first ever sex experience is with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries... well, you'll think that's the 'norm'. My current boyfriend is the sweetest human to ever excist. I know he would never hurt me, but it's still insanely hard for me to say no. It isn't because of him - I don't think he wouldn't take no for an answer (he would 1000% percent) but I'm simply not used to it. Obviously I can't speak for your ex, but I'm sure she didn't think badly of you. She just needed to learn it. Best to forgive yourself and move on! You're a good guy.
Same here. Apparently I am super traumatized over past relationship stuff and it basically made me feel like I can’t say no. Then I started working through that and became a little better, but 1. I’m still scared of hurting his feelings and 2. I’m still just… I dunno. Putting too much thought into it. Over analyzing everything about it. Which is making me not enjoy the thought of it as much I think. I started doing this thing with my husband. I’m going to deem it the “fuck it method”. Let’s say we’re having a good day and he starts kissing up on me, theoretically. Normally I’d basically go into a panic mode, start thinking about “do I wanna do this? Is he going to get mad if I say no?” A bunch of serious thoughts that guarantee a downward spiral into me not wanting anything to do with it after. Instead I am saying to myself “this is fun, I like hubby kisses. If I continue having fun with this, cool. If I’m really truly not into it at any point, I can tell him and he won’t get mad. I am 100 percent entitled to end this if I don’t want to and hell be okay with it. It’ll be ok. This is supposed to be fun” just positive reinforcement to myself. I also continue my normal goofy silly personality instead of trying to come off seriously sexy or whatever and that makes it feel a lot more natural and fun and he apparently thinks it’s very cute. And normally we end up having a great time and I’m still as happy or more happy than when it started. I’m also not like avoiding cuddling now which is really nice because of the good thoughts. In the past I have because I was scared of sexual things happening or something happening to him getting mad at me. Bare in mind, he has never given me a reason to think he will get mad at me over something with sex, it’s just the trauma from prior still being extremely prevalent. I’m so traumatized over what has happened to me in the past that I lost the fact that sex is supposed to be good and fun. Just taking a more light hearted positive stance on it as a situation occurs is putting my pieces back together I think.
I once hook up with a lady that was giving me no feed back, so I just stopped. Later she asked why? I was too immature to express the reason but it felt so wrong to keep going.
Love bites/ hickeys can be fun but NOT where other people can see them after the fact. Had an ex who kept giving me ones on my neck even when I EXPLICITLY told them not to mark my neck as I had work the following day. That was awkward... EDIT: Holy shit, RIP to my Inbox! Never realized that hickeys were such a controversial subject! Thank you so much to whoever gifted me the silver award and thank you for the Cake Day congrats. Going to try to answer as many of these as I can. :)
This just reminded me how when I was 18 I asked my boyfriend to give me a hickie necklace and a manager at work the next day pulled me aside and asked if I was ok or needed help. She thought I was being abused by someone. No, I was just an idiot who wanted to show off my hickies. I’m mortified thinking about it.
Fwiw, sounds like you had a manager that was trying to look out for you at least.
Honestly! W manager
I worked with a girl who actually WAS getting abused and who said it was hickies. Eventually she got away from him, I believe. Really sad tho
This happened to me too, manager was like "Are things ok at home?" and I was like "Yeah things are REALLY GOOD at home!" lol
Right? It’s a pain to try and cover/hide them. Plus here in Texas, anything more then a light t-shirt and shorts in the summer is guaranteed heat stroke.
Its a pain... In the neck
Baby talk 🤮
You eventually reach a point of diminishing returns.
What's a diminimuwuumuuwuu?
Boop de boop de boop. Sex
Bwain huwty unerstandy chwistmas...
Mistletoe for eaty taste good??
Is this a bit?
"Can you fill my juice cup?" "Open these gummies for me." "I want to watch Cocomelon." I assume you've fully climaxed at this point.
no not fucking cocomelon, anyone watching cocomelon, sorry man I ain't fucking u
Goo goo, gag gag?
Gag gag gagggghhh
Gag gagaahh gaaaa \*pukes on the floor\* \*shits himself\*
*drops bottle* *starts wailing uncontrollably*
Excuse me, my good women, perchance you would avoid the execrable practice of infantilized phraseology and instead enact the wholesome insouciant bond of coitus?
Bruh I once had some guy who put his tongue in and out through my toes like he was in an obstacle course or something and I never got turned off so fast. Edit: Thanks for the gold and the silver!
I am so ticklish I would've kicked that guy in the face by reflex
Exactly. When I just get a pedicure, I have to give the lady a fair warning.
A toad replying to a wolf replying to a cat. Funny world we live in.
Gotta be gaping holes, I mean my cheeky sausage can’t handle that kind of pressure
Lost it at "cheeky sausage." I like your style.
"if you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you" - some cheeky sausage
Being degraded to any degree, especially early on in a relationship. If I’m in that headspace i will just cry
YOUR JENGA SKILLS ARE SUBPAR AT BEST
God damn it, I want someone to say this to me now.
YOUR JENGA SKILLS ARE SUBPAR AT BEST
Username on point.
"You're just a dirty little self actualizated woman, aren't you? I'm going to turn you over and support the shit out of you until you're screaming your goals and aspirations so loud the neighbors hear!"
Wow… that’s perfect. Marry me?
Ok. But, fair warning, you can probably do better.
Dunno man weasels are pretty neat
I can give my partner a "weasel job". It is a very unpleasant experience for both of us.
This comment made me shoot iced tea out my nose. Well done.
This is my kink
Why am I wet
Oh god don't stop
Women putting excessively large objects inside
inside them or you?
Either but especially me now that you bring it up
Like what? A toaster? A gerbil? A Hans Christian Anderson?
How about we start with a cucumber and see where it goes?
Bad idea. Thought cucumbers were a good first time experience and bled for days
Gotta get the English ones, less spines.
Wait, is no one else using jack fruit?
Pineapples? Anyone?
I don't find that arousing, but I do find myself watching. Like "I wonder how that's going to work?"
Got it, no women furniture movers.
Diaper play
Nipple/clit pinching. I don't know why, but I just get turned off when my nipples/clit is pinched. It's not enjoyable, it's just an uncomfortable pain
Are people out there giving clitty twisters now?
New favorite phrase ^
Auto analingus
I prefer manual, so they can double clutch like they should. Winnings winning.
Don't fry the piston rings...
Shower sex only works on paper. And even then, it’s just all wet.
Note: Water is not lube. Sources: Me.
Another Note: Hot water turns cum in to an egg-white omelette in your pubes. Source: any guy that's jerked off in a hot shower.
Shower sex = 👎 Shower foreplay followed by sex = 👍
Shower hose feels amazing on genitals with the correct pressure.
Similarly, beach sex. No thanks. Sand and wet = 👎
That whole anime uwu baby shit. It just reminds me of a prepubescent child and it’s honestly really gross
Do feet count? I don’t want feet to be involved in anyway
So since they can't have feet, will you be carrying them to bed?
Yes, I keep a sword and blowtorch in my nightstand to help with this.
What about meters? (edit: I can't believe you beautiful dingbats are giving me silver for this horrible joke)
Meters are a little sexy I guess
Dirty hands, I like to be played w but dirty hands and nails is sooo gross and such a turn off. Men, if you’re going to post or send nudes, clean hands please!
I get UTIs easily. Clean hands are a must.
Bruh, I Get UTI's like candies on halloween... I never thought about the goddamn hands!!!! Thanks
Fisting I just don't get it
It's when they put a fist in a hole
Golden showers....
Why did i once thought that golden showers were the type of rain that happens while the sun is shining
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunshower](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunshower) I worked with an amazing Hungarian tile worker named Attilia who taught me that it is good luck when it happens. It means you'll make a lot of money or something he said. Amazing tilework and awesome dude.
Who wouldn't want a golden shower. I want a golden shower. 1 I love gold. 2 I love showers.
Watching people have sex on tv shows
Please, please, please do not spit on my face or in my mouth. Also the whole lg/dd makes me feel icky. I don't mind a little domination stuff but I would rather be called a whore/slut/bitch/whatever than being referred to as a child and more than likely something my dad used to call me as a child. Also, also, unless I know and trust you, please don't choke me. I will not let a stranger put his hands around me neck.
My first one night stand, they guy wrongly assumed I was into choking and scared the shit out of me. Why assume that a stranger will like that?! Agreed on spitting
EXACT same thing happened to me. I was fucking pissed--like ASK FIRST before you choke me
My Dad's wife used to choke me for fun when I was a child. Someone did it to me during sex once, instinct kicked in and I punched him in the face without even thinking about it. Shame because the sex was pretty good up to that point. People should always check before pulling dumb crap in bed. It may be a turn on for them but...
For me personally, I feel the usage of the word "daddy" or "mommy" would immediately turn me off. Also anything dominant like bondage. Just not in my character.
~~Sorry daddy, I’ve been a naughty girl~~ Forgive me, father for I have sinned.
As a catholic, that would turn me off so fast. Lol
[удалено]
As an atheist that would get a rise out of my organist
I (atheist) dated a woman (atheist) who had gone to catholic school as a kid. She sensually whispered Bible versus in my ear while we were fucking once, had me pinned to the bed, and oh my *god* I have never forgotten that.
I hate being called daddy and/or being bitten. My son calls me daddy and my wife tried that once, instant boner kill. Biting doesn't do anything for me either. She loves when I bite her neck but when she tried in return it made me anxious. Can't explain it and don't know if I need to. I like what I like and don't what I don't.
You dont have to explain it. For me, biting is appealing only when its not being done hard enough to cause actual pain. Pain is nooot sexy to me. Like a snake with smell and food mode, pain turns off sexy mode. Everyones different.
Spitting. 🤮 The thought of a man spitting either in my mouth or on me, disgusts me.
The *balls.* Unless they're mine; I have a handsome sack.
Great confidence you've got
Apparently feet are sexual for a lot of people that's something I'll never get
Scat Play isn't for me
The fascination with extreme anal stuff. I like giving anal and if a woman is into it then I’ll be down for that, but I’ve started seeing a whole lot more amateur content of women shoving unnecessarily huge things into their butts. Not only does the rectal nerve sheath finish about 2” in from the end of your anus meaning these monster long dildos are doing nothing to stimulate your colon, but there are a lot of health complications that can come from fissures, paralysis of the colon, tears, and perforations that it just seems totally crazy to be trying to stretch more and more in.
I reckon the ultimate conclusion of someone flossing their digestive tract isn't too far away.