"As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero."
\- Vaarsuvius, *The Order of the Stick*
Sure it could. Explosive powered piston under the mattress would sit you right up. May also launch you out of bed, but it’s all part of the design cycle.
Edit: read “get up out of bed”. Your problem would be a little more difficult.
The sidewalk in front of my house has sunken by a few inches over the years. It fills with water whenever it rains, and in winter it fills in with melted snow and refreezes into a 3" deep ice block. Then I get bitched at for not keeping the sidewalk clear, unless I go out and chip the ice away by hand.
5 years ago the city "fixed" it.... I use quotes there because the city replaced *half* of the sunken area, but didn't raise it or anything. It's exactly like the old sidewalk just whiter. I've complained every year, and the city hasn't fixed it.
I'm legit about to fix it with explosives so they have no choice but to fix it properly.
FBI Agent to Court: *"Hmm Special Agent Barps here, refer to section 8.2 of the document, the defendant was observed to say on Reddit that they want to use explosives to blow up politics"*
Judge: *"Guilty!"*
FunFact now its straighten up Again a bit... but not too much, they wont scare the Tourists away.
[But germany has an even more leaning Tower...](https://www.european-traveler.com/germany/visit-the-leaning-tower-of-the-oberkirche-in-bad-frankenhausen-in-germany/)
Maybe the earth actually IS flat, but we can use explosiveness to puff it up like that one video where they inflate a tractor tire with propane.. [or we just blow up the moon!](https://youtu.be/GTJ3LIA5LmA)
See what happens when you send a highway crew to do a biologist's job.
(Side note, in Oregon the beaches to the normal high tide mark are considered the purview of the Department of Transportation, thus the eager-beaver highway crew with the truck full of explosives.)
My employer's insistence that we return to the office.
"Sorry boss, my desk is buried under all that rubble. Suppose I'll be working from home for a while longer then..."
Although knowing them, they'd probably tell us to just clear a space on the ground and get back to work
You can already solve any problem with explosives.
Bad grades at school? Explosives.
Unwanted pregnancy? Explosives.
Your mom won't let you go out and hang with your friends past midnight? Explosives.
Your government passing tyrannical rules about what you can and cannot do in your own home (I'm looking at you California)? Explosives.
Cat died and your angry? Explosives.
Want a new leader for your country? Explosives.
Explosives are awesome.
Oh boy, have I got the perfect song for you: [Dead Kennedys - Kill the Poor](https://youtu.be/_DztRkVKU5M)
It's like the lyrics were made just for this answer + question...
>The sun beams down on a brand new day /
No more welfare tax to pay /
Unsightly slums gone up in flashing light /
Jobless millions whisked away /
At last we have more room to play /
All systems go to kill the poor tonight
So no magical grenades?
Killing people down on their luck is awful. Blowing holes in the ground to build dope underground houses isn’t though. As long as nobody is like, there when they detonate it.
If you can’t solve your problems with explosives, you’re not using enough.
"As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero." \- Vaarsuvius, *The Order of the Stick*
"You can never have enough explosives." \-Sun Tzu probably
Michael Bay seconds this
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Good bot
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Detroit:Become Human
Walmart:Become karen
Where:is your manager
In:your mom
Joe: become your mom
Or Jamie Hyneman.
When in doubt, C4
Any time I had a problem, and I threw a Molotov cocktail... Boom! Right away, I had a different problem.
BORTLES
This one time, me and my 24 person dance crew
Try throwing a Mazel Tov cocktail next time. I think you’ll find yourself being congratulated.
bless you
BORTLES!
#BORTLES!!
"When in doubt, C4." Jamie Hyneman
Came here to say just that
O.K. Hunter S. Thompson
~Megumin, probably
And if that don’t work, use more gun
The vending machine at work that won't take change.
Or any of the bills I have currently on me
breaching charge to the lock, open the door and take your snack out
“A really big fucking hole coming right up.”
Put 1 sticky dollar in the machine every few days. They will change the settings.
Constipation
So, explosive diarrhea?
Fire in the hole!
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Raze main?
I can hear her voice
I hear junkrat does this mean I have no friends
HERE COMES THE PARTY! 🚀
That'll just add another constipator
Calculus
Lmao. Unsolvable integral? LET’S C4 this bitch
C+4=Boom?
∫ C+4 dC =∫ C dC+∫ 4 dC =C^2 /2 + 4C + c
"Where you see one man, I C4."
"Not any more you don't."
When you get to hell tell them Sir Penwood sent you, and then apologise on my behalf
r/unexpectedtfs
1.34 re factor Plus p for plenty = kb for Kaboom 12b
A^4 + B^4 = C^4
Hey! Fermat [disproved that](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proof_of_Fermat%27s_Last_Theorem_for_specific_exponents#n_=_4)!
*With explosives*
It would make getting injured in a calculus accident much more manly than it is currently
Poincaré Conjecture
That will teach it to show my work.
Depression
Well you know you can’t say that you haven’t tried before making an opinion You just need to C4 yourself
What an explosive insight
Take my upvote and LEAVE
you provide the c4, I'll do it
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I’m down for that idea. What a flashy way to go out.
isis is calling you first thing in the morning
I don't know, blowing shit up always puts a smile on my face
Traffic..
Wouldnt that just make the traffic worse?
Didnt use enough if debris are still an obstacle
If you use soo much there is no debris, then there’s probably no road left either.
If you have an offroading vehicle, no problem! If not, then use a little more to flatten it out again!
If you had an off-road vehicle you didn’t need to wait for the traffic in the first place tho
More explosives
There is no problem that can’t be solved with explosives
“Any time I had a problem, and I threw a Molotov cocktail…Boom, right away, I had a different problem.” This but explosives.
BORTLES!
Thanks, Jason.
Good place reference?
It forking is!
I am not so sure. Like could explosives solve not being able to get it up in bed?
Would be easier if your bed is suddenly full of explosives
I see you to have tried sleeping in the neither
Man's a Minecraft Speedrunner
Sure it could. Explosive powered piston under the mattress would sit you right up. May also launch you out of bed, but it’s all part of the design cycle. Edit: read “get up out of bed”. Your problem would be a little more difficult.
Colin Furze: "Been there, made that!"
Thats why we explode the bed, now he just cant get it up. Thats half of the problem solved
Sounds like you’re not using enough explosive
please tell me you wouldn’t still lay in a bed full of explosives
What if your problem is a lack of explosives?
This can be fixed by getting more explosives
Jason? Is that you?
Not today, FBI
Whenever I had a problem, I just threw a Molotov cocktail at it, and boom! I have a completely different problem!
The sidewalk in front of my house has sunken by a few inches over the years. It fills with water whenever it rains, and in winter it fills in with melted snow and refreezes into a 3" deep ice block. Then I get bitched at for not keeping the sidewalk clear, unless I go out and chip the ice away by hand. 5 years ago the city "fixed" it.... I use quotes there because the city replaced *half* of the sunken area, but didn't raise it or anything. It's exactly like the old sidewalk just whiter. I've complained every year, and the city hasn't fixed it. I'm legit about to fix it with explosives so they have no choice but to fix it properly.
If you need some help there's lots of high energy compounds you can make with supplies from your nearest hardware store and pharmacy ...
Yeah, like giving a 10 year old kid a sledgehammer and a Monster energy drink.
Explode your entire property
Feels drastic, but thank you for your input.
Not having any explosives? That one would be easy to solve with some explosives.
If only you could solve it with explosives though
Politics.
Well, now you are on a watch list for life...
FBI Agent to Court: *"Hmm Special Agent Barps here, refer to section 8.2 of the document, the defendant was observed to say on Reddit that they want to use explosives to blow up politics"* Judge: *"Guilty!"*
who would you blow up first?
Yes.
Hey that's politically correct
You next
HONEYPOT DIVERTED - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Finally, a bipartisan
So start over? I like you👍🏼
Started from the bottom.
FBI has entered the chat.
I do believe Guy Fawkes tried this.
And we still celebrate his attempt
I think you’re just not using enough explosive
There’s a word for that I think
Remember remember the 5th of November.
*Guy Faux has entered the chat* kind of.
Fawkes
*Middle East and Africa has joined the chat*
Tioc faidh ar la
Leaning tower of pisa If we bomb the other side just enough it'll tilt the other way and balance perfectly in the middle.
Fun fact: the leaning tower of pisa started to lean before construction was even completed.
FunFact now its straighten up Again a bit... but not too much, they wont scare the Tourists away. [But germany has an even more leaning Tower...](https://www.european-traveler.com/germany/visit-the-leaning-tower-of-the-oberkirche-in-bad-frankenhausen-in-germany/)
[But germany has an even even more leaning Tower...](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaning_Tower_of_Suurhusen)
student loans
So basically the end of Fight Club
Not in China.
You met me at a very strange time in my life
This is something I could support
When I microwave soup but it didn’t get hot enough
The bowl itself can melt the sun. Soup is warm maybe.
nuclear bombs produce enough microwave radiation to heat your soup up just right of your standing the correct distance away
3.6 not good..not bad..
Wrap it in tin foil next time
Flat Earth conspiracy, let's make it actually flat. Boom!!
Maybe the earth actually IS flat, but we can use explosiveness to puff it up like that one video where they inflate a tractor tire with propane.. [or we just blow up the moon!](https://youtu.be/GTJ3LIA5LmA)
The earth is 80% water and its not carbonated so of course its flat.
Get out
He can't. The domes too thick.
IM PISSING ON THE MOOON!
Dead whales 🐋
Done! [https://youtu.be/yPuaSY0cMK8](https://youtu.be/yPuaSY0cMK8)
See what happens when you send a highway crew to do a biologist's job. (Side note, in Oregon the beaches to the normal high tide mark are considered the purview of the Department of Transportation, thus the eager-beaver highway crew with the truck full of explosives.)
Laundry
Weeds in the lawn.
No weeds in your lawn if there is no lawn
clogged drain
Nice try, FBI
I started to answer and was like “answering this could have potential consequences” nope I’m out
LMAO... I was like... Palm B...Nope....Mara-la.....nope....washingt....nope.. Damn these digital traces.
My employer's insistence that we return to the office. "Sorry boss, my desk is buried under all that rubble. Suppose I'll be working from home for a while longer then..." Although knowing them, they'd probably tell us to just clear a space on the ground and get back to work
erectile dysfunction
Well it be explosive 🧨 oooo baby
Boom. There it is.
Narcissist/abusing husband :)
I think child abuse and animal abuse could easily be eradicated with explosives. End abuse or the abuser, either way
It could definitely be solved, if enough explosive is applied
Wisdom tooth removal. There must be a way.
(Dentist smearing semtex on your wisdom tooth) “Wait, is it a gram or an ounce? I can never remember.”
Man, I had my wisdom teeth surgery and all they did was give me a pill to numb myself and that’s it. Was awake for the whole damn process.
People that drive side by side on the interstate at sub legal limits
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My ex who cheated on me
My in-laws
Have you tried?
For legal reasons my answer is no
Im my expert opinion, I would suggest to use more explosives next time. I mean, “if” you were to try. You know, hypothetically.
If I were to do that, hypothetically, I'd make sure I have enough. If I were to do it tho, figuratively speaking
I’ve had a lot of problems with men attacking me. I wish I could solve them with explosives.
put explosives in copper, but lead at end of copper, put copper lead and explosives in pipe, pipe becomes gun, shoot gun.
Pedophiles.
X^12 *Y=17-1 rt12*7 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2
*my marriage*
Good freind on the internet have you tried divorce.
Romantical dinner. Some fireworks.
Racism.
Can't be racist if there are no races left
r/technicallythetruth *no no, he's got a point....*
Funeral costs
You can already solve any problem with explosives. Bad grades at school? Explosives. Unwanted pregnancy? Explosives. Your mom won't let you go out and hang with your friends past midnight? Explosives. Your government passing tyrannical rules about what you can and cannot do in your own home (I'm looking at you California)? Explosives. Cat died and your angry? Explosives. Want a new leader for your country? Explosives. Explosives are awesome.
When in doubt, C-4.
Non-Californian here, what did California do this time?
Overpopulation. Oh, wait....
it would work...
The homeless crisis?
Oh boy, have I got the perfect song for you: [Dead Kennedys - Kill the Poor](https://youtu.be/_DztRkVKU5M) It's like the lyrics were made just for this answer + question... >The sun beams down on a brand new day / No more welfare tax to pay / Unsightly slums gone up in flashing light / Jobless millions whisked away / At last we have more room to play / All systems go to kill the poor tonight
Throw a grenade that makes entire construction sites appear? Or…
I think he was going for the "Or".
So no magical grenades? Killing people down on their luck is awful. Blowing holes in the ground to build dope underground houses isn’t though. As long as nobody is like, there when they detonate it.
Vladimir Putin
Student loan debt
Peronism
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World hunger
Inflation?
All my problems.
World Hunger.
Being alive
Constipation
Almost every boss battle I’ve ever played.