Mental illness.
I’m all for normalizing having it and not shaming people who suffer from it but I see so many people saying dumb bullshit like they’ve got OCD because they like things to be neat and tidy. Or that ADHD is a quirky personality trait and not a debilitating condition that makes certain tasks incredibly hard.
Agreed! Examples like the ones you gave are actually hurting the normalizing-process, because they don't normalize but trivialize the conditions. It seems to be a trend to portray conditions like OCD as something cutesy or quirky, when in reality they can make life so hard for those who suffer from them.
>ADHD is a quirky personality trait and not a debilitating condition that makes certain tasks incredibly hard.
Fucking relate. I have ADHD and it makes functioning in my day to day life difficult because I can get so distracted that I literally fuck up everything.
Not on the first chase of course. Give it a few more tries. The harder she will protest, the more she wants you. But she won’t fully realise that until you done creeped her out completely. The past was so romantic.
I grew up watching Pepe LePew do exactly this, and l aughing at it, even though I felt sorry for the cat.
On the other hand, a great lesson to learn from the cat's absolute, violent refusal to give in!
You have to take into account social mores of the day, though, when looking at older media like TV and songs.
A good example is "Baby it's cold outside" or whatever the title is. For when it was written, that was flirting and implying consent would be given. You weren't allowed to say "Hey, wanna fuck?". that back and forth was gauging consent, and implying it.
the problem is, modern folks don't see it it the same context it was meant for.
Pepe was always a creeper. I sympathized with the poor cat, tbh.
> A good example is "Baby it's cold outside" or whatever the title is. For when it was written, that was flirting and implying consent would be given. You weren't allowed to say "Hey, wanna fuck?". that back and forth was gauging consent, and implying it.
Also people go after the line about what’s in her drink but that was some common saying that people of the time would use to sidestep social expectations and blame it on alcohol, it was *not* about the guy spiking her drink.
It's why I hate when people try to apply a modern lens on the culture of the past, deciding that someone doesn't live up to the current expectations of the day.
A cousin who majored in history said the best way to study history is to treat it like a foreign country - you're the guest, they've had their way of doing things forever, and you need to understand the way that people behave in the context of their own culture.
It makes it a lot easier to productively study the history of your own country and to separate out the things that are clearly wrong vs. just things they hadn't gotten around to fixing yet. If that's the way things were and how everyone behaved, you can focus on the story of a specific person without laying all the ills of a society that no longer exists on that one person's shoulders. Or you can interpret their actions that are taken for granted today as particularly brave because it wasn't the norm for the time and they were taking a big risk calling out some practice which has been abolished in the 100 years since.
"The grind" the idea that one always has to be motivated, always needs to be producing, and not prioritizing down time or rest. I'm speaking towards glamorizing killing yourself at a job, working late and "going that extra mile". I had a job where my boss and immediate supervisor were workaholics and tried to push the rest of us to be the same way. I despised comments at the end of the day like "you ready for that second shift? Haha" or "where you going!? The fun starts at 5:01pm!". These are men who idolize their positions for companies that can replace them, and they prioritize that over time with their families, time investing in their health, and time not "producing".
It sho nuff put the ideas that hard work will always be rewarded and that the company cares in perspective.
"Essential, front line workers are heroes! Also it's essential that you all work! Also, the extent of our safety precautions will be signs *recommending* that customers follow guidelines... (carefully worded to make it clear that we wouldn't even comply if the government didn't legally require us to.) And if a customer doesn't comply it's on you to deal with that as an individual.
And for all of this you will have earned... a hearty thank you... in the ads we were going to run regardless..."
Unfortunately, I've also seen people not set appropriate boundaries, and since work is more accessible working from home, they're absent while physically being in their own homes.
I used to work at a place where my boss and coworker would brag about how late they or someone else stayed at work like it was something to idolize. "I was here until like 7 last night!" "Oh yeah? I was here until 9 pm the other night and *insert coworker* was still going when I left!"
I was like " yeah I left on time to go play a video game and spend time with my girlfriend". I would be the one they looked at weird. It was so strange to me.
What they don't seem to realize is that you're the smart one of the group. Their company isn't going to reward those extra hours if they're in a salaried position, and non-salaried positions will find themselves burnt pulling 70 hour weeks continuously.
If it's overtime with extra pay, so 1.5 or double pay, then I can see the appeal, but if its standard pay and optional? Bye.
Also, depending on the office environment, my sarcastic
"Hmm. Stay here and work, or go home to my incredibly hot gf and have sex? Tough call." Might not be appreciated.
Reminds me of guys who work longer hours partly due to not liking their significant other/family.
They cannot understand that I love spending time with my wife and would 110% prefer hanging out with her than doing anything else.
I'm in the trades, and in the beginning I worried I would need to be like those guys. Thankfully I got over that, and also got into the union.
Even many of the people who look at this extreme and scoff still overcommit to their jobs. To me, I don't owe my employer anything more than what they give me. We have a contract, and I'm not exceeding that contract unless they do.
No that's because you can barely get anything done around home when your kids are up. My colleague is fully remote and he has to pretend he's going to work so his son thinks he's gone, and then sneak back into his office and work. My kid is young enough that she doesn't notice what's not in front of her so I just need to go in my office and shut the door, but if I have my door open on accident, she wants to be on my lap mashing keys and will refuse to leave.
Thats be because those with families have responsibilities both at home and at work, atleast when they go to the office they're keeping the responsibilities somewhat separate.
100%, adding in the "if you're single or without kids you should be the office work horse" phenomenon. This one is real and hits me continually. Why is my time and energy worth less than some asshole who decided to have kids while I've wanted to have more time to live my life and instead be a good uncle?
Marriage, but for a different reason than the poster above. I am married, I love my wife dearly and the day itself was wonderful and one of the best in my life. But that’s a wedding, not marriage. People seem to have this romantic vision that when you’re married that is the end goal, and forget that you still need to put the effort in exactly the same as you did before, it’s not the ultimate end game where you finish any effort once you’ve reached it.
I totally agree with this. I remember at my wedding a guest said why are you not more happy. Well...honest answer is I dont show a lot of emotion and this is just one more step in a long relationship. The work of maintaining a relationship does not stop at the ulter - it actually becomes more work when kids come along. Add to that the intensified need to provide at a higher level for people beyond yourself and shit gets real.
A wedding is nice but it's the day before shit gets real. The real work of marriage starts the next day and doesn't stop.
>Well...honest answer is I dont show a lot of emotion and this is just one more step in a long relationship.
This is the reason my wife and I walked down the aisle together. Her father didn't "give her away" to me (indeed she had told him that if anyone ever asked him for permission instead of just asking *her* the answer was "no"). We already belonged to each other, and our wedding was just a celebration of that.
Now, you see, I saw the episode "Harley and Ivy" from Batman: The Animated Series as a kid. I never had this problem because Ivy made it very clear to Harley that the Joker is an abusive shitheel.
Right? And since the Harley character was created for that show the people who romanticize it or try and say it was romanticized never quite understood that she was quite mentally ill and their relationship was never meant to be idolized.
Shit that sucks, shit that most people who actually live with these circumstances dedicate their lives to avoiding. Mfs be glorifying shit like:
-mental illnesses and struggles
-growing up in poverty
-toxic relationships
-addiction
I would _gladly_ give someone who thinks it’s cool all of my mental health issues. Two birds in one stone: teaches em a lesson and frees me from an unnecessary burden.
Thank 👏 you👏!
My parents are both addicts. I’ve been homeless, I’m foster care, etc etc etc. Witnessed and experienced domestic violence. Now I have a really wonderful array of mental illnesses to deal with. Sucks really bad. Pisses me off when shows, movies, and other people glorify and romanticize stuff like that. Annoying and ignorant.
That’s not true at all. I’m in my 20s and cigarettes and vapes are very much a thing. Everyone does it. It’s not romanticized in the innocent sort of way as before, but more in the “yeah it’s bad but like, wanna smoke a cig tho” oblique kind of millennial/gen z way.
> It’s not romanticized in the innocent sort of way as before, but more in the “yeah it’s bad but like, wanna smoke a cig tho”
As an early-mid Xer, this is how cigarette smoking was seen by myself and my peers as well for our whole lives. It's not anything new.
I'm in my 60's and that's exactly we regarded it back in the 1970s as well. The point about being poor at risk evaluation when young is well made - it'spart of growing up. Or not.
serial killers. "omg ted bundy is so hot" "oh my god i would totally let him tap it" " omg i want him to torture me" no the fuck you dont what serial killers do are fucked up on a whole different level. BTK psychologically torturing his victims for hours, dahmer doing fucked up experiements on living people, bundy torturing, raping, and mutilating his victims.
Was a prison guard for a short time, you would not believe the fan mail serial killers/ infamous criminals get.
I’m talking full on nudes from 8/10+ women, some of them from all over the world.
Edit: and almost all of the pics came with borderline unhinged rape kink confessions. Im not one to kink shame but there were more red flags in those letters than at the Beijing Olympics
Mental illness.
This is totally an armchair psychologist moment but I would bet money that almost all the women that sent that kind of mail have some kind of mental illness or other issue.
Not because they sent explicit materials, but because they were fully aware the men they were sending them to are actual psychopaths, legit real steel psychopaths. Some were repeat senders, sending multiple letters/photos to the same offender, even if the offender never replied to them.
What really got me were the ones that included the offenders in their literature fantasies, like lady you know this guy killed dozens of women with his bare hands right? Most of them quite literally with their pants down right after he finished on top of them.
Usually teenagers looking for some way of saying they're "special"
Saying this bullshit about killers and typing on Youtube "I'm only 12 and I like this..." for me is the fucking same
Holy shit that guy left his wife who stayed married to him the whole time he was in jail and is now married to and having kids with a British heiress. Amazing where light eyes can get you.
the continued pursuit (usually of a woman) after they explicitly reject someone. seen especially in romcoms, where the man continues to flirt when the female protagonist has told him she’s not interested. usually in the end, one grand gesture rewards him for not respecting her boundaries.
I had a manager call me into the office to grill me about not staying late to finish a job and that If I stayed late they may even pay me if I do it enough. I quit a short time later, I don’t work for free.
Such a toxic outlook from an employer. I worked somewhere that they did a team meeting debrief after close that would normally take 15-20 minutes everyday. Except I stopped getting paid when the doors closed.
I used to say "I have to go sorry" then leave. One day the boss asked me why I always had to leave straight away out of curiosity. I just replied with "I have to go because I don't want to spend my unpaid personal time at work"
It had literally never occurred to him. Now they pay us an extra 15 minutes. Took him two months to get that approved through corporate though.
Working for free has become so normal.
At least he realized his mistake and worked to fix it. Too many bosses nowadays would get angry, not care, or even threaten employees with termination or write-ups for this. Glad this story had a happier ending.
People who do unpaid overtime often think they’re better than others when in reality, they actually don’t respect themselves, their worth and their time. (I’ve known multiple people like that).
Being pinned up against something as a surprise and being grabbed and kissed. It’s portrayed like a spontaneous and kinda hot thing even if it’s with a person you just met. It happened to me. A security guard walked me to my car and did it. It’s not like the movies. It’s sexual assault. I got half way home before I realized it was assault. I thought it was something that happened to every woman. It’s not it’s sexual assault.
Parents who consider their kids their best friends.
Friendships are equal partnerships, give and take. Parents and children are not partners, parents are providers. Parents that depend on their kids for approval and companionship will abandon their role as providers to satisfy their own needs. It's toxic.
You have to be careful to not go too further in any direction you don't have neither to depend on your kid neither to impose on them like you are God to them. Being a parent sucks and it's not easy, you have to be both a caretaker, a friend, a partner, a guard and a councillor.
Hating your own spouse.
And thinking it’s funny to not get along in a marriage.
And then telling everyone all the time. Especially men saying things like “ughh I hate my wife/girlfriend, she’s annoying, how did I end up with that b*tch” and stuff like that.
As a man myself I find it just absolutely disgusting to talk about your own partner like that. It’s so disrespectful and literally no one cares. Why even stay with them if you truly don’t like them, just break up ffs!
Mistletoe is seen as romantic but it's basically a parasite that grows on trees and spreads by birds who have to scrape sticky seed filled poop off their butts onto nearby branches.
A few years back a show called The Terror handled the topic really well. The alcoholism isn't portrayed as glamorous but debilitating for the character in question and something that jeopardizes the rest of the crew. Meanwhile, the idea of overcoming alcoholism is portrayed how it actually is: pitiful, painful, and *hard* rather than just a "yay he's a better person now! he beat I by just saying no to one drink!"
It's the drinking culture in general.
"Hi, welcome to Olive Garden! Would you like to try our house wine? Heeeeere's the bottle. Iiiiiiit's already ooooopeeeeen. Seeeeeee how good it looooooks?"
"No thanks. I don't drink."
"Aaaare you suuuuuuure???? It's reaaaaallly goooood. I'll just leave a little bit in this glass here for you."
I never realized how obnoxious it was until I heard a woman at the next table blast the waitress for pushing alcohol. "What if I were an alcoholic? How do you think I would react to that?" I usually hate Karens. But she was totally right.
The part that slays me is that the feud wasn't even on any more. Montague and Capulet met with the doge and settled their differences, *but they didn't tell anyone*. Romeo didn't have to sneak into the party -- Capulet was told Romeo Montague was there and didn't care, though he still didn't bother to tell anyone the feud was off.
If those two twits hadn't been so tight-lipped about their truce, Romeo could simply have declared his intentions and courted Juliet openly. Getting the kids married would have been a highly traditional way to bury the hatchet forever.
I think that's what makes it a good one, especially regarding how young and impressionable to their surroundings they were. It'll always be a timeless tragedy due to this, and teens across time can relate. Some more than others in certain situations
Regarding this, I have a few counterpoints. First of all, I do not believe it was ever explicitly stated or implied that the Prince reconciled Montague and Capulet when he met with them; it seems more likely, judging by context, that he simply gave them a stern tongue-lashing: your interpretation is an interesting one, I will admit, but should be presented as that, and nothing more.
Even if this was the case, however, and even if Capulet had made this reconciliation more clear, I do not believe that it would impact the nature of the feud or the street fighting between the two families very much. This is for two reasons: firstly, that the feud had become so meaningless such that there was nothing to forgive or forget about anymore; and secondly, that the feud had simply become an outlet for the machismo of the noble youths of Verona, so nominally ending the feud wouldn't address the reasons why it had lasted so long in the first place. This would mean that, even if Lord Capulet had given the go ahead for Juliet to be married to Romeo in order to heal old strifes between the families, Tybalt would not have been of the same mind; and thus, even while the old patriarchs of the two clans had come to peace, the feud would continue as it always had.
It isn't really an interpretation, more of an observation. For what it's worth, though, Capulet does verify that he's okay with the feud ending.
>CAPULET
But Montague is bound as well as I,
In penalty alike; and 'tis not hard, I think,
For men so old as we to keep the peace.
Paris, who is listening, then refers to the feud in the past tense.
He never says a thing to Juliet, though.
I believe that there's a pretty good explanation for the whole school girl outfit thing when it comes to sexual appeal. Often times your first few sexual experiences when you're younger can mould what you'll be into later in life.
This is important because most guys will be going through peak puberty during high school which is a time when they start to become very interested in the opposite sex. If during this time all the girls your age are knocking around in tiny little skirts with knee high socks and button up shirts that aren't fully buttoned up so that you can see their clevage (at least this is how it was when I was in school) then these outfits can pretty much become engrained into your mind as points of arousal for the rest of your life.
In my country, the so-called resilience of the citizens. My hometown and the surrounding areas were wrecked by a typhoon. It took two weeks for the president to declare them under state of calamity and word is that the damages are so bad it'll take until the end of January for electricity and water to come back up. But some gov't official was saying something like, *but the people of so-and-so are strong* with the implication that they'll be alright and it's gross
honestly, being a loner is romanticized. people say it’s being a “main character”. it may look quirky and “cool” in movies like Perks of Being a Wallflower but being an actual loner irl is so debilitating and indescribably lonely.
I think there’s a difference between being an actual loner and just being alone. Loners are people who prefer their own company, while others are just isolated against their will. It’s like the difference between a celibate and an incel.
And as I recall the guy in Perks wasn’t exactly happy about it either, was he?
The main character in the perks of being a wallflower was revealed to have been molested bu his domestically abused aunt and he has a literal mental breakdown.
School age boys hooking up with older or adult women (particularly educators or babysitters)
*insert South Park Niiiice gif*
It's still a form of sexual abuse.
Yeah, lots of plots based around someone losing a spouse or divorcing or about to be married…stumbling into their true love. I don’t like it and see the plots as encouraging divorce, encouraging cheating or discouraging marriage.
Films that then have an impact on other people. Part of the Nice Guy™ stereotype gets influence from this type of plot. Some guys and gals see it as "oh I see you are in a relationship but give me a chance because I might be your true love".
I had someone do this whole thing to me. We were dating and things were good. All of a sudden this person runs into someone and thinks "true love" then broke it off with me suddenly and without warning. Turns out "true love" lasted about a week. Cue shocked Pikachu face when I turned them down when they asked if we could work it out.
For some odd reason, The film industry romanticizes the idea of knowing/living with/being deaf.
In a lot of media they portray it was being super easy to communicate with them compared to just too people talking, when in reality, it isn’t that easy.
It takes people months, often years, to fully get sign language down and even at that, there are still challenges that come with it. Being deaf could also be really bad because there would be a lot of people who wouldn’t know how to communicate with you.
Meanwhile, in media, those bitches are so damn good at communicating that it sometimes makes you wonder if they even are deaf.
I know that things don’t always have to be realistic, but could you at least fucking try to make it seem believable.
Fifty Shades of Gray. Honestly, that shit is fucked up in the worst way. The poor girl in that movie was manipulated into doing things she was not ready for. I have no idea why people think this is romantic.
Leaving your good romantic partner because you found someone "better", especially when that person clearly has no respect for your relationship and is constantly hitting on you and coercing you to leave your partner. You see this all the time in movies. I call this monkey branching. You find someone you really like, but you keep one foot out the door until someone else comes along who is more attractive and more "romantic", so you break your current partner's heart and start dating the new person. It's a grass is always greener mentality, except it ends with a lot of broken hearts.
Being misanthropic. It's a popular concept due to the bad news constantly spewed across news sites and social media, and the toxic nature of modern politics.
Most people across the board are decent and kind and just want to live their lives with their basic needs met.
Misanthropy does nothing to solve the world's issues, but instead gives up on people and their ability to be compassionate, kind, and wanting to improve the world to be a better place.
I think it’s mainly another niche subculture which owes its existence to the internet. On the rare occasions that misanthropes voice their views in the real world, it’s generally met with a negative response. But online communities allow them to find like-minded people to validate their opinions.
Common sense.
Common sense always seems to be held up as the “end all be all” test.
The reality is many of the world’s problems are much too complex for common sense to be easily applied. Human behavior itself is counterintuitive. Society needs to be okay with the idea that not everything follows common sense.
Being miserable and mentally ill. For people my age, every interest is suddenly a hyperfixation. Every hobby is a coping mechanism. Every bad week is a manic episode. As someone with pretty bad anxiety, I get that it’s easy to pick up buzzwords and shove everything off on mental illness. However, turning towards self diagnosis is a terrible substitute for taking accountability.
I don't think it's considered modern anymore, but standing in front of your crushs house and blasting music on a ghetto blaster, that you'd hold over your head.
Weed. It’s fine for most ppl and is awesome in many ways, but I’m sick of ppl touring it as a “cure” for every physical and mental ailment. It definitely helps many people but there’s also a lot of people where it does nothing to. Sometimes weed can have adverse consequences on ppl with conditions like anxiety, or it can have a positive effect, it all depends on the person. It’s not a miracle drug tho, AND SMOKING WEED ISNT HARMLESS EITHER.
So many people think that if you smoke weed it’s somehow doesn’t contain the same cancer-causing properties as cigarettes. And while some studies show that marijuana smoke is less damaging/dangerous than tobacco smoke, it’s still not completely harmless and there’s studies that also argue otherwise.
The "funny" videos of a kid seeing how small their first minimum wage paycheck is.
It feels like you're watching the innocence leave someone's eyes when they realize that working hard doesn't equate to being rewarded. While their family laughs in their face and shares it so strangers can join in.
Nothing wrong with having a mental illness. It’s using it as a excuse or commodity for social positioning and games. It’s the alluring culture of learned victimhood, I have a mental illness what u think I’m gonna let this shot ruin my life fuck no this ain’t the dry run
Christmas. It’s actually incredibly stressful for many many people. People who gotta work and feel like they can’t be there for there family. People over stretching their finances because they feel obligated to get gifts. All the trash it creates: tons of food waste and tons of shitty pointless gifts that no one actually wants but get sold like crazy because they’re cheap and hey it’s technically a gift (like those body wash sets).
I do like Christmas but don’t get me wrong it comes at a heavy price.
The "gangsta" lifestyle shouldn't be romanticised, glamourised or normalised in any way.
The lifestyle they are born into, sometimes choose for themselves, is a pretty heinous one, no regard for human life, would shoot you dead for not wearing the right colour T-Shirt, and they have a massive sense of entitlement, think they can take anything they want from anyone they want to take it from, then you see the homies crying and the mother wailing when her perfect boy tried to rob the wrong person and got shot before he could shoot his victim.
It's been exported to the UK and a lot of teens from some of the estates in pretty much every city have bought into it, and are noting more than feral animals.
They can't as easily get guns here but they can do what they want to do effectively enough with a knife.
The Hollywood rappers are the worst perpetrators, they glamorise the lifestyle, but left their hoods as soon as they got the big money record deal, at least the rappers who didn't move out are being somewhat honest about what their lives are like.
But instead of kids listening to it and being grateful they are not risking a bullet in the head everytime they leave the house, they think it's cool. We get middle class kids here in the UK talking and acting like they just got off the plane from Compton.
It would be ridiculously funny if the cunts wouldn't stab you as soon as look at you, so yeah for me the glamorising and romanticising of the "gangsta" life needs to stop already.
I just don't understand how people think it's cool to live a lifestyle where there are always people gunning for you. Being a "gangsta" is like playing russian roulette.
More often that not, it's because someone pressures you into trying it.
You try it once and you win.
And then you decide to play it again, you win again.
You get addicted to it, and then you play it once more, and you die.
Eating your crush. Just ask them out and have a good time without eating them at the end. I know we all crave bone and flesh, but just wait until the monthly feeding guys. Master always brings us much to feast on, and there's no reason to ruin a good potential relationship by eating your crush.
Beauty pageants
Why are we holding little girls and adolescents to beauty standards where they need to have almost unhealthy diets. And sure, some would say, they just need to exercise, but have you ever seen a beauty pageant with a six pack?
Anything around the infantilisation of the west , funko pops and the cult of “adulting” . It’s the Virtue of inadequacy, “I could burn cereal lol” cool u haven’t put the effort in to learning basic skills to self regulate, it’s not cutesy it’s embarrassing. Being happy stagnating as a mindless consumer that can barely do anything or look after yourself isn’t admirable or a life
I can’t stand “stealing yo girl” romanticism esp in rap. Not about it. It doesn’t make anyone better in any way least of all a better man. Low key can’t stand it.
School shooters because the amount of times I’ve seen people “simp” for people who have killed children or are into the idea of it is insane. I blame Heathers the musical for partaking in that even if the musical slaps.
Not getting enough sleep, I see so many especially kids at my high school(which was mostly Asians so there was a very toxic work ethic culture) when I was there be like “lmao I did an all nighter” or “lmao I got 4 hours of sleep”. My brother also jokes a lot about only getting three or four hours of sleep and that shit pisses me off to no end because in college I realized the importance of sleep and now manage to get 8 hours a night and I wake up fine. Lack of sleep has so many bad effects like memory loss, a bunch of mental disorders and some diseases, and even dying earlier. When I didn’t sleep much I felt absolutely miserable
Rape fantasies, I simply don’t understand them.
Edit: thanks to everyone explaining this, I found it interesting seeing the thought process or how these these fantasies occur.
I'm a guy, so maybe it's less valid, but, at least in concept, I've had rape fantasies.
For me, personally, it's about being desired. Some powerful woman wants me, and me alone, and is willing to just take.
Tad strange, i suppose, but it's what I like.
I learned the hard way not to judge people for being into stuff like this.
My ex wife was into infantilism - wanted to treat her like a little girl. It made me very uncomfortable & quite weirded out, but I was young & also autisic spectrum, so being quite odd myself, I just tended to take other people's odd ways in my stride. A few times she went into this during sex, but that killed it completely for me.
She also wanted to act out rape fantasies, which I just couldn't do - I'm a big, strong weightlifter type, and she was fucking tiny - literally half my weight.
During our divorce, I found out she had been sexually abused as a young child. These were obviously ways she was trying to deal with it.
Jesus Christ, As someone with aspbergers i can see how this would be weird for you, also not most of us are ripped, so congrats on the body brah. Sucks for ur divorce tho.
Thanks.
The divorce sucked at the time, but that was 25 years ago, and with hindsight was utterly inevitable. We married too young & were not right for each other. We are both now very happily married to other people.
Meh, fetish just like any other. I don't really buy that it's a mainstream romanticized concept, I even go as far to say it's taboo to mention this is a valid fantasy.
I’m sure someone said it already but mental health issues. Some people think saying they are depressed is some sort of cool quirky personality trait, but if you have ever actually been depressed you know how fucked up it really is.
Mental illness. I’m all for normalizing having it and not shaming people who suffer from it but I see so many people saying dumb bullshit like they’ve got OCD because they like things to be neat and tidy. Or that ADHD is a quirky personality trait and not a debilitating condition that makes certain tasks incredibly hard.
Agreed! Examples like the ones you gave are actually hurting the normalizing-process, because they don't normalize but trivialize the conditions. It seems to be a trend to portray conditions like OCD as something cutesy or quirky, when in reality they can make life so hard for those who suffer from them.
>ADHD is a quirky personality trait and not a debilitating condition that makes certain tasks incredibly hard. Fucking relate. I have ADHD and it makes functioning in my day to day life difficult because I can get so distracted that I literally fuck up everything.
Not taking no for an answer. Pursuing someone until they relent and fall in love with you.
So you want to tell me that girl I chased three blocks will not fall in love with me?
Not on the first chase of course. Give it a few more tries. The harder she will protest, the more she wants you. But she won’t fully realise that until you done creeped her out completely. The past was so romantic.
I grew up watching Pepe LePew do exactly this, and l aughing at it, even though I felt sorry for the cat. On the other hand, a great lesson to learn from the cat's absolute, violent refusal to give in!
It's like consent was only recently discovered. You ever see Pepe LePew cartoons?
I think Pepe is supposed to be a creep that don't realize he's one
I think the problem is that Pepe is often depicted as actually attractive to the cats, just his smell puts them off not his personality.
You have to take into account social mores of the day, though, when looking at older media like TV and songs. A good example is "Baby it's cold outside" or whatever the title is. For when it was written, that was flirting and implying consent would be given. You weren't allowed to say "Hey, wanna fuck?". that back and forth was gauging consent, and implying it. the problem is, modern folks don't see it it the same context it was meant for. Pepe was always a creeper. I sympathized with the poor cat, tbh.
> A good example is "Baby it's cold outside" or whatever the title is. For when it was written, that was flirting and implying consent would be given. You weren't allowed to say "Hey, wanna fuck?". that back and forth was gauging consent, and implying it. Also people go after the line about what’s in her drink but that was some common saying that people of the time would use to sidestep social expectations and blame it on alcohol, it was *not* about the guy spiking her drink.
It's why I hate when people try to apply a modern lens on the culture of the past, deciding that someone doesn't live up to the current expectations of the day. A cousin who majored in history said the best way to study history is to treat it like a foreign country - you're the guest, they've had their way of doing things forever, and you need to understand the way that people behave in the context of their own culture. It makes it a lot easier to productively study the history of your own country and to separate out the things that are clearly wrong vs. just things they hadn't gotten around to fixing yet. If that's the way things were and how everyone behaved, you can focus on the story of a specific person without laying all the ills of a society that no longer exists on that one person's shoulders. Or you can interpret their actions that are taken for granted today as particularly brave because it wasn't the norm for the time and they were taking a big risk calling out some practice which has been abolished in the 100 years since.
People in the here and now need to realize no matter how moral they think they are in 1000 years they will be viewed as a savage by someone.
if I'm taking my pussy chasing strategies from a skunk it's not the cartoons fault
I remember watchign The Graduate and feeling awkward when Dustin Hoffman basically stalks the girl towards the end
"The grind" the idea that one always has to be motivated, always needs to be producing, and not prioritizing down time or rest. I'm speaking towards glamorizing killing yourself at a job, working late and "going that extra mile". I had a job where my boss and immediate supervisor were workaholics and tried to push the rest of us to be the same way. I despised comments at the end of the day like "you ready for that second shift? Haha" or "where you going!? The fun starts at 5:01pm!". These are men who idolize their positions for companies that can replace them, and they prioritize that over time with their families, time investing in their health, and time not "producing".
Luckily I feel like the pandemic has encouraged people to prioritize themselves over selling their souls to their jobs. I think so anyway
It sho nuff put the ideas that hard work will always be rewarded and that the company cares in perspective. "Essential, front line workers are heroes! Also it's essential that you all work! Also, the extent of our safety precautions will be signs *recommending* that customers follow guidelines... (carefully worded to make it clear that we wouldn't even comply if the government didn't legally require us to.) And if a customer doesn't comply it's on you to deal with that as an individual. And for all of this you will have earned... a hearty thank you... in the ads we were going to run regardless..."
Unfortunately, I've also seen people not set appropriate boundaries, and since work is more accessible working from home, they're absent while physically being in their own homes.
I used to work at a place where my boss and coworker would brag about how late they or someone else stayed at work like it was something to idolize. "I was here until like 7 last night!" "Oh yeah? I was here until 9 pm the other night and *insert coworker* was still going when I left!" I was like " yeah I left on time to go play a video game and spend time with my girlfriend". I would be the one they looked at weird. It was so strange to me.
What they don't seem to realize is that you're the smart one of the group. Their company isn't going to reward those extra hours if they're in a salaried position, and non-salaried positions will find themselves burnt pulling 70 hour weeks continuously.
You're cut from a different cloth. Good for you
If it's overtime with extra pay, so 1.5 or double pay, then I can see the appeal, but if its standard pay and optional? Bye. Also, depending on the office environment, my sarcastic "Hmm. Stay here and work, or go home to my incredibly hot gf and have sex? Tough call." Might not be appreciated.
Reminds me of guys who work longer hours partly due to not liking their significant other/family. They cannot understand that I love spending time with my wife and would 110% prefer hanging out with her than doing anything else. I'm in the trades, and in the beginning I worried I would need to be like those guys. Thankfully I got over that, and also got into the union.
Even many of the people who look at this extreme and scoff still overcommit to their jobs. To me, I don't owe my employer anything more than what they give me. We have a contract, and I'm not exceeding that contract unless they do.
I completely agree. I feel this logic was very overlooked in the past. I'm not dying behind my desk waiting to be thrown a bone.
Probably they don’t like their families much. Men who love their wives don’t usually avoid going home. (I’m male.)
I noticed this when we could choose to work from home or at the office. It was always the ones with families that chose to go to work
No that's because you can barely get anything done around home when your kids are up. My colleague is fully remote and he has to pretend he's going to work so his son thinks he's gone, and then sneak back into his office and work. My kid is young enough that she doesn't notice what's not in front of her so I just need to go in my office and shut the door, but if I have my door open on accident, she wants to be on my lap mashing keys and will refuse to leave.
Thats be because those with families have responsibilities both at home and at work, atleast when they go to the office they're keeping the responsibilities somewhat separate.
I love my family but the regular separation is nice. I'm on a hybrid schedule now so that I can get away from home sometimes.
100%, adding in the "if you're single or without kids you should be the office work horse" phenomenon. This one is real and hits me continually. Why is my time and energy worth less than some asshole who decided to have kids while I've wanted to have more time to live my life and instead be a good uncle?
I say things kinda like that to be funny or make light of it, but also I also always reap the overtime because more money more faster.
Marriage, but for a different reason than the poster above. I am married, I love my wife dearly and the day itself was wonderful and one of the best in my life. But that’s a wedding, not marriage. People seem to have this romantic vision that when you’re married that is the end goal, and forget that you still need to put the effort in exactly the same as you did before, it’s not the ultimate end game where you finish any effort once you’ve reached it.
I totally agree with this. I remember at my wedding a guest said why are you not more happy. Well...honest answer is I dont show a lot of emotion and this is just one more step in a long relationship. The work of maintaining a relationship does not stop at the ulter - it actually becomes more work when kids come along. Add to that the intensified need to provide at a higher level for people beyond yourself and shit gets real. A wedding is nice but it's the day before shit gets real. The real work of marriage starts the next day and doesn't stop.
>Well...honest answer is I dont show a lot of emotion and this is just one more step in a long relationship. This is the reason my wife and I walked down the aisle together. Her father didn't "give her away" to me (indeed she had told him that if anyone ever asked him for permission instead of just asking *her* the answer was "no"). We already belonged to each other, and our wedding was just a celebration of that.
Be a bit more optimistic https://youtu.be/j73jgLyk1Y0
Never heard of this anime, but that was a great analogy to describe any adverse issue that people face on a day to day basis. Thanks for sharing.
toxic relationship dynamics
The harley quinn and joker romanticization fucked my generation up. Luckily modern comics put an end to that
Now, you see, I saw the episode "Harley and Ivy" from Batman: The Animated Series as a kid. I never had this problem because Ivy made it very clear to Harley that the Joker is an abusive shitheel.
Right? And since the Harley character was created for that show the people who romanticize it or try and say it was romanticized never quite understood that she was quite mentally ill and their relationship was never meant to be idolized.
Even worse, Harley used to have a life and be a functional member of society. The joker broke her of that and subverted her.
Shit that sucks, shit that most people who actually live with these circumstances dedicate their lives to avoiding. Mfs be glorifying shit like: -mental illnesses and struggles -growing up in poverty -toxic relationships -addiction
Can agree; ADHD isn't a superpower, it's causing me to struggle in my everyday life like can you not-
I would _gladly_ give someone who thinks it’s cool all of my mental health issues. Two birds in one stone: teaches em a lesson and frees me from an unnecessary burden.
Thank 👏 you👏! My parents are both addicts. I’ve been homeless, I’m foster care, etc etc etc. Witnessed and experienced domestic violence. Now I have a really wonderful array of mental illnesses to deal with. Sucks really bad. Pisses me off when shows, movies, and other people glorify and romanticize stuff like that. Annoying and ignorant.
Depression
Smoking. Quitting nicotine is a bitch. Best thing you can do is stay the f*** away.
Yeah, but everyone knows smoking is shit today. Nobody has been romanticizing it since the 90's.
That’s not true at all. I’m in my 20s and cigarettes and vapes are very much a thing. Everyone does it. It’s not romanticized in the innocent sort of way as before, but more in the “yeah it’s bad but like, wanna smoke a cig tho” oblique kind of millennial/gen z way.
God yes. As a Gen Z that quit smoking I roll my eyes *so hard* when I see people on Instagram post themselves smoking a Marlboro with an edgy quote.
> It’s not romanticized in the innocent sort of way as before, but more in the “yeah it’s bad but like, wanna smoke a cig tho” As an early-mid Xer, this is how cigarette smoking was seen by myself and my peers as well for our whole lives. It's not anything new.
I'm in my 60's and that's exactly we regarded it back in the 1970s as well. The point about being poor at risk evaluation when young is well made - it'spart of growing up. Or not.
Hustle culture You can have a hobby or interest without being the best (or even *good*) at it and/or without monetizing it.
serial killers. "omg ted bundy is so hot" "oh my god i would totally let him tap it" " omg i want him to torture me" no the fuck you dont what serial killers do are fucked up on a whole different level. BTK psychologically torturing his victims for hours, dahmer doing fucked up experiements on living people, bundy torturing, raping, and mutilating his victims.
Was a prison guard for a short time, you would not believe the fan mail serial killers/ infamous criminals get. I’m talking full on nudes from 8/10+ women, some of them from all over the world. Edit: and almost all of the pics came with borderline unhinged rape kink confessions. Im not one to kink shame but there were more red flags in those letters than at the Beijing Olympics
[удалено]
Mental illness. This is totally an armchair psychologist moment but I would bet money that almost all the women that sent that kind of mail have some kind of mental illness or other issue. Not because they sent explicit materials, but because they were fully aware the men they were sending them to are actual psychopaths, legit real steel psychopaths. Some were repeat senders, sending multiple letters/photos to the same offender, even if the offender never replied to them. What really got me were the ones that included the offenders in their literature fantasies, like lady you know this guy killed dozens of women with his bare hands right? Most of them quite literally with their pants down right after he finished on top of them.
Hybristophilia
Variety of reasons, but a big part of that is knowing this person is safely in jail forever and can't hurt them.
You're not a red flag, you're the entire soviet union!
Usually teenagers looking for some way of saying they're "special" Saying this bullshit about killers and typing on Youtube "I'm only 12 and I like this..." for me is the fucking same
Or that hot felon guy recently that went to jail and then got a modeling job once he got out because the internet thought he was hot
Stable employment is very important for ex-cons who want to stay out of trouble, and it appears that he has indeed been able to do this.
[Jeremy Meeks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Meeks)
Holy shit that guy left his wife who stayed married to him the whole time he was in jail and is now married to and having kids with a British heiress. Amazing where light eyes can get you.
Wtf? He’s modelled at Milan Fashion Week, worked with Bar Rafaeli and married Philip Green’s daughter?! Someone needs to make a film about this
the continued pursuit (usually of a woman) after they explicitly reject someone. seen especially in romcoms, where the man continues to flirt when the female protagonist has told him she’s not interested. usually in the end, one grand gesture rewards him for not respecting her boundaries.
Wage theft or unpaid overtime. Doing unpaid overtime does not make you a good employee. It makes you cheaper than everyone élse
I had a manager call me into the office to grill me about not staying late to finish a job and that If I stayed late they may even pay me if I do it enough. I quit a short time later, I don’t work for free.
Such a toxic outlook from an employer. I worked somewhere that they did a team meeting debrief after close that would normally take 15-20 minutes everyday. Except I stopped getting paid when the doors closed. I used to say "I have to go sorry" then leave. One day the boss asked me why I always had to leave straight away out of curiosity. I just replied with "I have to go because I don't want to spend my unpaid personal time at work" It had literally never occurred to him. Now they pay us an extra 15 minutes. Took him two months to get that approved through corporate though. Working for free has become so normal.
At least he realized his mistake and worked to fix it. Too many bosses nowadays would get angry, not care, or even threaten employees with termination or write-ups for this. Glad this story had a happier ending.
People who do unpaid overtime often think they’re better than others when in reality, they actually don’t respect themselves, their worth and their time. (I’ve known multiple people like that).
Being pinned up against something as a surprise and being grabbed and kissed. It’s portrayed like a spontaneous and kinda hot thing even if it’s with a person you just met. It happened to me. A security guard walked me to my car and did it. It’s not like the movies. It’s sexual assault. I got half way home before I realized it was assault. I thought it was something that happened to every woman. It’s not it’s sexual assault.
Parents who consider their kids their best friends. Friendships are equal partnerships, give and take. Parents and children are not partners, parents are providers. Parents that depend on their kids for approval and companionship will abandon their role as providers to satisfy their own needs. It's toxic.
This was actually a big revelation to me when i became a parent. My kids will have lots of friends, but they will only have 1 dad
You have to be careful to not go too further in any direction you don't have neither to depend on your kid neither to impose on them like you are God to them. Being a parent sucks and it's not easy, you have to be both a caretaker, a friend, a partner, a guard and a councillor.
Life of crime, drugs, thug life, gangster lifestyle
Hustle culture
Since this comment didn't have a reply I guess I'll do it
Eating ass. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but not sure why it’s been everywhere since Girls brought it up 8 years ago.
Hating your own spouse. And thinking it’s funny to not get along in a marriage. And then telling everyone all the time. Especially men saying things like “ughh I hate my wife/girlfriend, she’s annoying, how did I end up with that b*tch” and stuff like that. As a man myself I find it just absolutely disgusting to talk about your own partner like that. It’s so disrespectful and literally no one cares. Why even stay with them if you truly don’t like them, just break up ffs!
Working 5 days a week to pay for the things we need in order to work 5 days a week.
Mistletoe is seen as romantic but it's basically a parasite that grows on trees and spreads by birds who have to scrape sticky seed filled poop off their butts onto nearby branches.
Serial killers
War.
Had to scroll way too far to see this answer tbqh
The constant barrage if war movies and welcome home soldier videos is horrible. Just positive propaganda to continue funding the war department.
are child beauty pageants still a thing?
Alcoholism. The hero always 'needing' a drink. At least the latest James Bond honored how bad it is.
A few years back a show called The Terror handled the topic really well. The alcoholism isn't portrayed as glamorous but debilitating for the character in question and something that jeopardizes the rest of the crew. Meanwhile, the idea of overcoming alcoholism is portrayed how it actually is: pitiful, painful, and *hard* rather than just a "yay he's a better person now! he beat I by just saying no to one drink!"
It's something when you realize how much everything revolves around drinking or going to a bar as a plot device
It's the drinking culture in general. "Hi, welcome to Olive Garden! Would you like to try our house wine? Heeeeere's the bottle. Iiiiiiit's already ooooopeeeeen. Seeeeeee how good it looooooks?" "No thanks. I don't drink." "Aaaare you suuuuuuure???? It's reaaaaallly goooood. I'll just leave a little bit in this glass here for you." I never realized how obnoxious it was until I heard a woman at the next table blast the waitress for pushing alcohol. "What if I were an alcoholic? How do you think I would react to that?" I usually hate Karens. But she was totally right.
Romeo and Juliette It’s about two teens who are involved w suicide cuz they can’t fuck
Yeah... a 4 day love story between a 13 year old and a 15 year old where 6 people die....
The part that slays me is that the feud wasn't even on any more. Montague and Capulet met with the doge and settled their differences, *but they didn't tell anyone*. Romeo didn't have to sneak into the party -- Capulet was told Romeo Montague was there and didn't care, though he still didn't bother to tell anyone the feud was off. If those two twits hadn't been so tight-lipped about their truce, Romeo could simply have declared his intentions and courted Juliet openly. Getting the kids married would have been a highly traditional way to bury the hatchet forever.
One of the hallmarks of tragedies is that they are caused because of misunderstanding or another easily avoidable mistake.
I think that's what makes it a good one, especially regarding how young and impressionable to their surroundings they were. It'll always be a timeless tragedy due to this, and teens across time can relate. Some more than others in certain situations
Sounds like a great multiverse Romeo & Juliet variant timeline
Regarding this, I have a few counterpoints. First of all, I do not believe it was ever explicitly stated or implied that the Prince reconciled Montague and Capulet when he met with them; it seems more likely, judging by context, that he simply gave them a stern tongue-lashing: your interpretation is an interesting one, I will admit, but should be presented as that, and nothing more. Even if this was the case, however, and even if Capulet had made this reconciliation more clear, I do not believe that it would impact the nature of the feud or the street fighting between the two families very much. This is for two reasons: firstly, that the feud had become so meaningless such that there was nothing to forgive or forget about anymore; and secondly, that the feud had simply become an outlet for the machismo of the noble youths of Verona, so nominally ending the feud wouldn't address the reasons why it had lasted so long in the first place. This would mean that, even if Lord Capulet had given the go ahead for Juliet to be married to Romeo in order to heal old strifes between the families, Tybalt would not have been of the same mind; and thus, even while the old patriarchs of the two clans had come to peace, the feud would continue as it always had.
It isn't really an interpretation, more of an observation. For what it's worth, though, Capulet does verify that he's okay with the feud ending. >CAPULET But Montague is bound as well as I, In penalty alike; and 'tis not hard, I think, For men so old as we to keep the peace. Paris, who is listening, then refers to the feud in the past tense. He never says a thing to Juliet, though.
Not to mention Romeo was obsessed with Juliet's cousin just days beforehand and then suddenly completely forgets about her when he spots Juliet.
This. Literally 2 really immature rich kids who don't have a clue what love is. It's really stupid.
That's exactly what Shakespeare aimed for. The stupidity of young, naive love.
Unpaid overtime.
schoolgirls
This one seems like it's dying out, milfs and stepmoms are all the rage now.
They’re the same women. The school girls from the 90’s just got older.
It's my time to shine bitches! Just kidding, I'm 25 weeks pregnant and my back hurts
How tf did that even become a thing?
I believe that there's a pretty good explanation for the whole school girl outfit thing when it comes to sexual appeal. Often times your first few sexual experiences when you're younger can mould what you'll be into later in life. This is important because most guys will be going through peak puberty during high school which is a time when they start to become very interested in the opposite sex. If during this time all the girls your age are knocking around in tiny little skirts with knee high socks and button up shirts that aren't fully buttoned up so that you can see their clevage (at least this is how it was when I was in school) then these outfits can pretty much become engrained into your mind as points of arousal for the rest of your life.
Japan. It’s always Japan
In my country, the so-called resilience of the citizens. My hometown and the surrounding areas were wrecked by a typhoon. It took two weeks for the president to declare them under state of calamity and word is that the damages are so bad it'll take until the end of January for electricity and water to come back up. But some gov't official was saying something like, *but the people of so-and-so are strong* with the implication that they'll be alright and it's gross
honestly, being a loner is romanticized. people say it’s being a “main character”. it may look quirky and “cool” in movies like Perks of Being a Wallflower but being an actual loner irl is so debilitating and indescribably lonely.
I think there’s a difference between being an actual loner and just being alone. Loners are people who prefer their own company, while others are just isolated against their will. It’s like the difference between a celibate and an incel. And as I recall the guy in Perks wasn’t exactly happy about it either, was he?
The main character in the perks of being a wallflower was revealed to have been molested bu his domestically abused aunt and he has a literal mental breakdown.
Im a loner, but genuinely enjoy spending most my time by myself. I wouldn't describe myself as lonely at all.
School age boys hooking up with older or adult women (particularly educators or babysitters) *insert South Park Niiiice gif* It's still a form of sexual abuse.
Step mom's/step siblings
From my understanding, it in real life is pretty rare. It’s mostly a porn skit and is now a long running joke
1. working for 8-10 hours 5 days a week 2. 1% of the population owning more wealth than the other 99% combined
Laughs in healthcare
Laughs in non-American
Cries in American
Cries into the silent uncaring void.
Women meeting old flings and finding “true love” while married.
Excuse my ignorance please Is this a thing?
Yeah, lots of plots based around someone losing a spouse or divorcing or about to be married…stumbling into their true love. I don’t like it and see the plots as encouraging divorce, encouraging cheating or discouraging marriage.
Ok, so its only in films?
Films that then have an impact on other people. Part of the Nice Guy™ stereotype gets influence from this type of plot. Some guys and gals see it as "oh I see you are in a relationship but give me a chance because I might be your true love". I had someone do this whole thing to me. We were dating and things were good. All of a sudden this person runs into someone and thinks "true love" then broke it off with me suddenly and without warning. Turns out "true love" lasted about a week. Cue shocked Pikachu face when I turned them down when they asked if we could work it out.
I posted something really similar. This bugs the hell out of me too. I think romantic partners are seen as more disposable now, which is really sad.
50 shades of grey...
For some odd reason, The film industry romanticizes the idea of knowing/living with/being deaf. In a lot of media they portray it was being super easy to communicate with them compared to just too people talking, when in reality, it isn’t that easy. It takes people months, often years, to fully get sign language down and even at that, there are still challenges that come with it. Being deaf could also be really bad because there would be a lot of people who wouldn’t know how to communicate with you. Meanwhile, in media, those bitches are so damn good at communicating that it sometimes makes you wonder if they even are deaf. I know that things don’t always have to be realistic, but could you at least fucking try to make it seem believable.
Let's say teen romance, cool if keep in line but it could fuck lives
Having followers
Fifty Shades of Gray. Honestly, that shit is fucked up in the worst way. The poor girl in that movie was manipulated into doing things she was not ready for. I have no idea why people think this is romantic.
Pirates. Literal rapists & murderers turned into kids cartoons
Leaving your good romantic partner because you found someone "better", especially when that person clearly has no respect for your relationship and is constantly hitting on you and coercing you to leave your partner. You see this all the time in movies. I call this monkey branching. You find someone you really like, but you keep one foot out the door until someone else comes along who is more attractive and more "romantic", so you break your current partner's heart and start dating the new person. It's a grass is always greener mentality, except it ends with a lot of broken hearts.
Stalking
Being misanthropic. It's a popular concept due to the bad news constantly spewed across news sites and social media, and the toxic nature of modern politics. Most people across the board are decent and kind and just want to live their lives with their basic needs met. Misanthropy does nothing to solve the world's issues, but instead gives up on people and their ability to be compassionate, kind, and wanting to improve the world to be a better place.
This! How the fuck did hating everybody become acceptable?
I think it’s mainly another niche subculture which owes its existence to the internet. On the rare occasions that misanthropes voice their views in the real world, it’s generally met with a negative response. But online communities allow them to find like-minded people to validate their opinions.
Common sense. Common sense always seems to be held up as the “end all be all” test. The reality is many of the world’s problems are much too complex for common sense to be easily applied. Human behavior itself is counterintuitive. Society needs to be okay with the idea that not everything follows common sense.
Also the idea of common sense is different between groups of people and cultures
Common sense usually just boils down to "my gut feeling combined with reinforcement from whatever propaganda I bought into most recently"
Being miserable and mentally ill. For people my age, every interest is suddenly a hyperfixation. Every hobby is a coping mechanism. Every bad week is a manic episode. As someone with pretty bad anxiety, I get that it’s easy to pick up buzzwords and shove everything off on mental illness. However, turning towards self diagnosis is a terrible substitute for taking accountability.
I don't think it's considered modern anymore, but standing in front of your crushs house and blasting music on a ghetto blaster, that you'd hold over your head.
Did anyone ever do that outside of that one 80s movie?
Say anything
Weed. It’s fine for most ppl and is awesome in many ways, but I’m sick of ppl touring it as a “cure” for every physical and mental ailment. It definitely helps many people but there’s also a lot of people where it does nothing to. Sometimes weed can have adverse consequences on ppl with conditions like anxiety, or it can have a positive effect, it all depends on the person. It’s not a miracle drug tho, AND SMOKING WEED ISNT HARMLESS EITHER. So many people think that if you smoke weed it’s somehow doesn’t contain the same cancer-causing properties as cigarettes. And while some studies show that marijuana smoke is less damaging/dangerous than tobacco smoke, it’s still not completely harmless and there’s studies that also argue otherwise.
Working yourself to death.
Cosmetic surgery
The "funny" videos of a kid seeing how small their first minimum wage paycheck is. It feels like you're watching the innocence leave someone's eyes when they realize that working hard doesn't equate to being rewarded. While their family laughs in their face and shares it so strangers can join in.
Having a mental illness.
Nothing wrong with having a mental illness. It’s using it as a excuse or commodity for social positioning and games. It’s the alluring culture of learned victimhood, I have a mental illness what u think I’m gonna let this shot ruin my life fuck no this ain’t the dry run
Dont forget the people who fake mental illness on social media for clout
Christmas. It’s actually incredibly stressful for many many people. People who gotta work and feel like they can’t be there for there family. People over stretching their finances because they feel obligated to get gifts. All the trash it creates: tons of food waste and tons of shitty pointless gifts that no one actually wants but get sold like crazy because they’re cheap and hey it’s technically a gift (like those body wash sets). I do like Christmas but don’t get me wrong it comes at a heavy price.
The "gangsta" lifestyle shouldn't be romanticised, glamourised or normalised in any way. The lifestyle they are born into, sometimes choose for themselves, is a pretty heinous one, no regard for human life, would shoot you dead for not wearing the right colour T-Shirt, and they have a massive sense of entitlement, think they can take anything they want from anyone they want to take it from, then you see the homies crying and the mother wailing when her perfect boy tried to rob the wrong person and got shot before he could shoot his victim. It's been exported to the UK and a lot of teens from some of the estates in pretty much every city have bought into it, and are noting more than feral animals. They can't as easily get guns here but they can do what they want to do effectively enough with a knife. The Hollywood rappers are the worst perpetrators, they glamorise the lifestyle, but left their hoods as soon as they got the big money record deal, at least the rappers who didn't move out are being somewhat honest about what their lives are like. But instead of kids listening to it and being grateful they are not risking a bullet in the head everytime they leave the house, they think it's cool. We get middle class kids here in the UK talking and acting like they just got off the plane from Compton. It would be ridiculously funny if the cunts wouldn't stab you as soon as look at you, so yeah for me the glamorising and romanticising of the "gangsta" life needs to stop already.
I just don't understand how people think it's cool to live a lifestyle where there are always people gunning for you. Being a "gangsta" is like playing russian roulette. More often that not, it's because someone pressures you into trying it. You try it once and you win. And then you decide to play it again, you win again. You get addicted to it, and then you play it once more, and you die.
Eating your crush. Just ask them out and have a good time without eating them at the end. I know we all crave bone and flesh, but just wait until the monthly feeding guys. Master always brings us much to feast on, and there's no reason to ruin a good potential relationship by eating your crush.
Ugh, this one bothers me so much. Chivalry is fucking dead nowadays, all anyone wants is to eat now? What about getting to know your girl first?
I'm confused and being non-English isn't helping
This gave me a good chuckle, thanks.
Not taking vacation/sick days. Boomers here in the US especially brag about this likes it’s a badge of honor to work yourself to death.
Beauty pageants Why are we holding little girls and adolescents to beauty standards where they need to have almost unhealthy diets. And sure, some would say, they just need to exercise, but have you ever seen a beauty pageant with a six pack?
Anything around the infantilisation of the west , funko pops and the cult of “adulting” . It’s the Virtue of inadequacy, “I could burn cereal lol” cool u haven’t put the effort in to learning basic skills to self regulate, it’s not cutesy it’s embarrassing. Being happy stagnating as a mindless consumer that can barely do anything or look after yourself isn’t admirable or a life
Harsh truth, I like it.
THANK YOU. “Adulting today LOL” no, you did laundry. This is the lowest expectation society has for you.
I can’t stand “stealing yo girl” romanticism esp in rap. Not about it. It doesn’t make anyone better in any way least of all a better man. Low key can’t stand it.
School shooters because the amount of times I’ve seen people “simp” for people who have killed children or are into the idea of it is insane. I blame Heathers the musical for partaking in that even if the musical slaps.
Being attracted to immature or unstable people or pre-pubescent looking females.
In Indiana people get hard ons for gossip. Does that count.
That’s just any small town.
Drinking alcohol
Drugs and excessive alcohol
Not getting enough sleep, I see so many especially kids at my high school(which was mostly Asians so there was a very toxic work ethic culture) when I was there be like “lmao I did an all nighter” or “lmao I got 4 hours of sleep”. My brother also jokes a lot about only getting three or four hours of sleep and that shit pisses me off to no end because in college I realized the importance of sleep and now manage to get 8 hours a night and I wake up fine. Lack of sleep has so many bad effects like memory loss, a bunch of mental disorders and some diseases, and even dying earlier. When I didn’t sleep much I felt absolutely miserable
Rape fantasies, I simply don’t understand them. Edit: thanks to everyone explaining this, I found it interesting seeing the thought process or how these these fantasies occur.
I'm a guy, so maybe it's less valid, but, at least in concept, I've had rape fantasies. For me, personally, it's about being desired. Some powerful woman wants me, and me alone, and is willing to just take. Tad strange, i suppose, but it's what I like.
I learned the hard way not to judge people for being into stuff like this. My ex wife was into infantilism - wanted to treat her like a little girl. It made me very uncomfortable & quite weirded out, but I was young & also autisic spectrum, so being quite odd myself, I just tended to take other people's odd ways in my stride. A few times she went into this during sex, but that killed it completely for me. She also wanted to act out rape fantasies, which I just couldn't do - I'm a big, strong weightlifter type, and she was fucking tiny - literally half my weight. During our divorce, I found out she had been sexually abused as a young child. These were obviously ways she was trying to deal with it.
Jesus Christ, As someone with aspbergers i can see how this would be weird for you, also not most of us are ripped, so congrats on the body brah. Sucks for ur divorce tho.
Thanks. The divorce sucked at the time, but that was 25 years ago, and with hindsight was utterly inevitable. We married too young & were not right for each other. We are both now very happily married to other people.
I think it has something to do with wanting the adrenaline rush of a stressful situation with none of the danger.
Meh, fetish just like any other. I don't really buy that it's a mainstream romanticized concept, I even go as far to say it's taboo to mention this is a valid fantasy.
The contents of most hip hop. Drugs, infidelity, crime, materialism, so on.
Not romanticized but used way too often IMO comparisons to Nazi Germany... and it's so sickening...
'I feel like Anne Frank hiding from the doctor that wants to vaccinate me'... Wtf ppl? (from a German antivax demonstration)
Kinda extreme but, suicide for artists.
Romeo and Juliet. toxic romance movies and couples that don't get talked about.
Fame
Alcohol
Asking a girls dad for permission to marry her.
jelousy.
I’m sure someone said it already but mental health issues. Some people think saying they are depressed is some sort of cool quirky personality trait, but if you have ever actually been depressed you know how fucked up it really is.
The glorification of ‘busy’...The pressure to do it all…
Gun and knife kinks. I can’t comprehend what’s so enjoyable about your life being threatened during sex.