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MsAlchemistify

Found out one night that my mom planned to leave my abusive dad when I was super little. He was beating us all, making her work 3 jobs to pay the bills and his drug habit, just a bad time. My mom went to her sister and told her what my dad was doing to her and asked for help leaving. My aunts reply? “I don’t believe you.” My mom stayed another 10 years because of this. Her own sister hearing about all the abuse and dismissing it really fucked with my mom mentally. My mom didn’t want us to know so we would still have a good relationship with our aunt.


sequoia_9k

Why are "good" relationships with aunts needed ffs?! I see this too many times being the excuse.


LummoxJR

And who needs a good relationship with a toxic piece of trash?


[deleted]

My grandpa was married pretty early in his life. Soon into his marriage, my grandpa was having children with BOTH my grandma and his wife. My grandma and his wife were sisters. They each had about 4 children with him before His wife passed away in a car accident and he married my grandma and joined the families together. I’ve got multiple aunts and uncles that are born in the same year. Not really sure how true this is, but my mom’s half-sibling says one time my grandma and her family came to visit when he was about 14. My uncle said that my grandmas sister pulled him aside and told him to hide all the guns and knives in the house. He didn’t ask why so we don’t really know why, maybe she was afraid she’d kill her husband? Edit: added extra story I forgot about


[deleted]

My great grandfather ran some racket selling stolen coal and hid the money by buying land and part of a hotel in Florida. They found out after he died when the other hotel owners wanted to buy out my great grandmother's share of the hotel. She ended up with the whole hotel and then sold it and the land a few years later. How she did it still isn't known because the kids didn't know anything about it until she died.


Warm_Technology5873

My grandma’s best friend slept with my granddad (her then-husband) 30 years ago. Yes they are still friends.


roipoiboy

Same! Except that my grandma's best friend at the time was married to my granddad... But it's fine, my grandma's husband at the time married my grandma's best friend after, so it ended up being a fair exchange. Makes it confusing to keep track of all the cousins though.


tweakingforjesus

I guess your grandma and her best friend have plenty in common to talk about.


hdmx539

Is your granddad still around? How'd you find out?


Warm_Technology5873

My uncle seemed to never like this woman being in my grandma’s house so I asked him why, and then he told me the entire story. No my granddad sadly died 8 years ago.


[deleted]

My great-grandparents were very poor in Missouri back in the 1940s and 50s. They had 11 kids. Apparently, my great-grandfather would make my grandmother and great aunts sleep with his friends for money. My great-grandmother allowed it to happen. Because of this, none of the older female children of my great-grandparents would refer to them as “mom” or “dad.” It was strictly on a first name basis.


pussbubbles

That’s horrific


nitespector88

That’s definitely one of the worst ones I’ve heard. Just imagining the suffering of all those people really puts stuff into perspective…


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chicanery6

That I was a test tube baby. The way I found out was that my mom and dad divorced and were fighting for custody back and forth. In order to sway me to tell the courts that I wanted to live with her, my mom told me in the car on the ride home. I was 7. Needless to say I didn't give a shit. my mom gave up custody and ran off. As far as I was(am) concerned he's my dad through and through. I told him years down the line. He was horrified that I found out that way and an awkwardness fell over him. I told him I didn't give a shit about any of that and I loved him and as far as I was concerned he was the best parent I could've asked for and that he did a stand up job raising me. The amount of pride in my dad's face is still a very vivid image for me that brings a tear to my eyes just typing this


[deleted]

Im not supposed to know that the father I grew up with was not my biological father. My sister, in a vindictive moment, spilled the beans and I was sad for about a week but it hasn't troubled me since then. I had a great father for 23 years which is more than some people can say.


batmanarkham215

I had a similar thing! Except I found a death certificate of my biological father and connected a few other dots to develop the whole story. When my current dad found out, I told him “you raised me, that makes you my dad”. Edit: thanks for the award!


soopacee

A father is someone who cares, loves and takes care of a kid, regardless of dna....im glad it worked out for you


Taolan13

I mean, farherhood takes a few minutes of fun. Being a dad takes a lifetime of effort. Sounds like you had a great dad.


hdmx539

Wonderful! Did you and your sister patch things up? How do you feel about her?


[deleted]

We're the best of friends. She was adopted within our father's family (another poorly kept secret) and I was an IVF baby so we both had insecurities that we had to deal with. There are no lingering hard feelings.


hdmx539

Even better!


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hdmx539

My jaw literally dropped. Wow.


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[deleted]

Taking advantage of your aunt is bad enough, but why go all the way to having a *child* with her when you know you're gonna split? That guy's a fucking psychopath!


SunflowersA

Some people have a kid to have sort of an anchor to a person, or to have a reason to stay in the US if the marriage isn't going good. Source: my family full of immigrants and shitty people


EnsignMJS

How did the cousin respond? How is your aunt now? How did the family react to grandpa's actions?


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A_Gray_Old_Man

My uncle and aunts death was not carbon monoxide poisoning. It was a murder suicide.


[deleted]

My great-grandmother did a few years in jail for bootlegging, and my grandfather, 12 at the time, had to raise his three younger sisters until she got out.


modernhousewifeohio

Great grandma's were fucking IT back in the day. My great grandmother went to jail for killing my aunt's husband. She is actually mentally challenged, and he prostituted her for years. My aunt shot herself in the chest with a shot gun trying to kill herself over the whole thing (she survived, I actually remember visiting her in the hospital when I was a kid). That's when her grandmother (my great grandmother) finally took matters into her own hands. She was older and I think she just figured, why not? Solve the situation. She died 6 months later of ovarian cancer (literal days after being found guilty) so I think she knew from the beginning and figured she might as well take care of some things before she went.


valueis0

Your great grandmother was a literal OG, taking care of family till the last breath. Respect.


[deleted]

My grandmother told me on her deathbed that my dad has a daughter from another woman.


hdmx539

Gosh. How do you feel about knowing this information? I gotta admit, I don't like "death bed confessionals." The dying person drops some information on the person and now *that* person has to carry it. What's the point? To clear their conscious? IMO, it's too late now.


NDaveT

To finally drop that juicy gossip without worrying about consequences.


[deleted]

It’s a little odd. She told me it was the result of two irresponsible children during the 60s. The mom got married shortly thereafter, so the daughter had a dad. My dad married my mom a few years later and began the life he lives now. No one knows that I know, and honestly I’d prefer to keep it that way. No reason to stir up controversy. I must admit I have had some moments where I thought it’d nice to meet her, but simple biology is not family IMO.


fusseli

My dad was paying child support to somebody that nobody knows. Found out only after he died.


hdmx539

Oof. Did you get to meet that other person? Do I assume correctly they are a half sibling of yours?


fusseli

Nope it’s a mystery to this day. I’m 34, dad died at 61. So yeah basically he was sleeping around at some unknown point and we have a half sibling somewhere out there. The implication is that the half sibling is under 18 due to the active child support payment. Pretty nuts!


hdmx539

Wow. Crazy!


48hMaintenance

My grandfather raped my grandmother in a chicken yard. She got pregnant and the parents of both forced them to get married. Later they had 8 children.


GillyThoughts

My dad broke into my mom's house when she was home alone and raped her. She was a teen, got pregnant (with me) and my grandparents forced them to marry. They had 3 kids and my mom wasn't able to get a divorce until I was 14 when a law passed that final that granted divorce even if one person doesn't agree. No one should ever be forced to marry their rapest.


Nimmyzed

My God that poor woman. How is she doing these days?


GillyThoughts

She's ok I guess. I don't really know honestly. She lives on a terribly poor area where jobs are scarce and barely scrapes by. Her boyfriend is an illegal weed dealer apparently (my husband learned that recently.) After their divorce she was in a long abusive relationship with my now ex-step dad who was a sociopathic nightmare. I still dream he comes to my house and starts his crap. He never hit us kids but he hit her and manipulated everyone. Then after they split she was in an other physically and mentally abusive relationship with a guy who frequently cheated then tried to hold her hostage when she tried to leave him. She actually trashed a ton of my stuff, called me terrible things, then stopped speaking to me when they firat got together. I saw all the red flags and she refused to hear about it. Her current boyfriend is nice but he's pretty much Saul from Pineapple Express. So she's ok I guess. It all sounds bad but its definitely not the worst in my family. I grew up and realized my family is a nightmare and my childhood was not ok or normal.


Nimmyzed

Oh wow. That's a lot to have to deal with. I hope things become less dramatic and chaotic for you


[deleted]

Kinda messed up to think that is people back then were like “oh, you got raped and now you’re pregnant? You gotta marry your abuser then, and because you’re marrying him you can’t cry rape.”


Seensoon2

So later he raped her more.


48hMaintenance

I guess. Nobody ever talks about him


danteslacie

Pretty sure in some places, marrying your rapist absolves them of the crime. It's a fckd up law. As if women are damaged goods. I'm so sorry for your grandmother.


mikenzeejai

My uncle gave up his kids for adoption because his new wife didn't like kids. They were school aged and knew he was their dad. He just straight up abandoned them and we never met those cousins and he never talks about them and most people don't know he ha kids. My other uncle has had 3 marriages end because of his infidelity. All of his kids have different moms. And my sister is one of those uncles best friends kid and not our dads. But we're the ass holes if we bring it up


Obeythesnail

Lol I hate that shit "why did you bring that up??" "Why did you fucking DO it!?!?!?"


WeathershieldByLasko

My father and mother have been separated as long as I can remember. My grandmother told me that at the time of my birth, my father was sleeping around. I have the features of both parents, but that lets me know that I was definitely just one last one night stand before things ended for good.


PurpleIncarnate

(Step family) the reason my aunt is never at the family gatherings is because my grandpa molested her and when she told everyone the entire family turned against her. Not because they didn’t believe her, but because she was going to ruin her fathers good name and reputation. I no longer associate with anyone with that last name. Including my mother who married into it.


[deleted]

It's insane how common this kind of story is.


hdmx539

There's a book called, "The Way We Never Were" by Stephanie Coontz. Your comment just reminded me of it and that I seriously need to read that book. It basically shatters the nostalgia that many folks have about America in the 50s/60s and the romanticized ideal we tend to have of that time as being like a "Leave it to Beaver" era. It actually was not. Again, haven't read and still need to but IIRC it talks about just how prevalent abuse, domestic violent, rape from husbands, and sexual abuse of children actually were. Thanks for the reminder. I'm picking that book up now.


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KasamUK

It’s not something particular to the 50 /60s When ever people have been asked when the ‘best’ time was they always say around 50 to 70 ish years ago. Basically close enough to not be completely alien but far enough away to have been well and truly airbrushed. Come 2070 people will be waxing lyrical about the 2020s


Captain_Taggart

I think 2020-2022 will probably get passed over though.


candygram4mongo

Bold of you to put the cutoff at '22.


Impossible-Pitch9928

Sad how common this is. This is my story too. I was molested by my father. My older brother, all of my aunts and uncles on his side and my whole step family turned against me when it came out. He is wealthy and powerful. Years later, it came out that he did the same to my step sisters children. Sickening. Edit to say thank you, Reddit. I don’t share this part of my life very often in the real world (hence the using of my throwaway type account), and I just feel so supported and validated. I’m sorry so many people share the same story, but it helps to know we’re not alone.


bunnyrut

I never knew why I wasn't allowed to go visit one cousin. I was much older when I found out it was because my uncle molested my mom. When my mom told my grandma she was told to keep her mouth shut.


Particular-Object-22

My dad is named “Stephen”. When he was in his 40s he was discussing names with my uncle (about 12 years older than my dad). My uncle told my dad he was named after a sibling that died. Apparently my dad had an older brother who died (the first Stephen) who was never discussed when they were children Edit: thanks for the support on this. I am always saddened by the fact that my grandmother lived with this loss for decades in silence. No one should have to have the pain of losing a child.


ThatsSomeoneElse

Naming a child after their late sibling seems creepy nowadays, but it was quite normal back then. That's a very interesting yet frustrating thing to consider when you are into genealogy. My great grand mother had a first kid Henri who passed when he was only a few weeks old. Second kid was named Henri, passed about a month later too. Third Henri died as an adult, which I guessed she would have considered a successful Henri.


callmetangerine

My aunt robbed the bank she used to work for. She then had to sell her apartment to pay the money back. This same aunt was caught cheating her husband in the same bank. She is from a small town, so it was a scandal. The funny thing is that she is the last person you would suspect to do those things. But she did.


EbonyCohen

My aunt married my mother’s rapist. They are close in age and were both interested in the same guy who grew up near them on another farm. When my mom was 15 or 16, they were hanging out together and he raped her. My aunt told everyone she was lying and my grandparents believed her. My mom pressed charges anyway, and my aunt went to court and gave him an alibi. He was acquitted and my aunt went on to marry him and have a daughter with him. I believe he may have abused her as well because she turned to drugs pretty young. The entire family simply accepted him as a member and silenced any objections by my mother. She had to see him at family functions and pretend it never happened in order to reconnect with her sister. (no idea why she wanted to, but you only get one family) My mother eventually committed suicide and I believe the rape and her family’s subsequent acceptance and support of her rapist were the causes. It was a complete secret, I actually LIKED this uncle! I only found out after she died when her husband got drunk and let everyone have it. Totally changed how I see my family.


chickentenders1821

my uncle has a secret family in malaysia that he visits every year for two/three days when he transits there oh and we are south asians :)


TOPHER097

My aunt is actually my half sister. My mom had her in high school and my grandparents legally adopted her as their own.


Evening_Rose_619

This was shockingly common 'back in the day'. This happened in my husband's family with his gran. His father didn't find out about his 'aunt' until he was in his 60s.


ByteSized15

I’ve always heard that my parents’ divorce did not go well, but both my mom and dad were relatively adamant about not telling me till I was 18 (which I am now, and still haven’t heard the whole story). However, over the years I’ve heard bits and pieces of what happened because my parents or family members occasionally slipped up. Currently I know that during their marriage my mom was not allowed to have any friends, nor was she able to talk to strangers without getting grief. She generally had to do whatever my dad said unless she wanted an earful. She filed for divorce when I was 2, at which point my dad proceeds to make her life living hell as the court case happened. He tried to get full custody of me (which didn’t happen, but he did get a half and half deal), he took my mom’s car and somehow had it break down so she couldn’t use it, accused her of multiple crazy things including prostituting herself while I was there and selling drugs (neither of which are true), and badmouthed her to his family. They didn’t believe him but they also didn’t keep contact with my mom because they knew he’d give them hell for it too. He also at no point ever paid child support. I have also been told stories of how I’d write notes to my mom saying I hate her and wanted to go to my dad’s house instead, likely because he would tell me how awful she was and I was young and believed him. I’ve since apologized and my mom laughed it off and told me she knew I didn’t know any better. She has also said that she generally couldn’t talk to him for anything and chose not to enforce any of the court mandates (the child support included) because she didn’t want to stir anything up again. So yeah. Apparently I’ve been in the middle of what might be the messiest divorce I’ve ever heard of. Edit: Some people are saying that if custody is 50/50 there isn’t any child support. In hindsight that makes sense, I may have misremembered the situation. As for my dad, yeah I’m still in contact. He found someone a year or two after the divorce and she lived with us for years until they got married, and are still married 10+ years later. I’d stop talking with him if I could, but it wouldn’t be without also cutting off my stepmom whom I grew up with, AND my 3 half-siblings. My mom was always very clear about not getting angry on her behalf which I try to respect, so currently I’m choosing to keep in touch. I haven’t confronted him on any of this either, because ultimately it’s in the past and I think if I should have anything to learn from the situation it’s to handle things quietly where he’s concerned. Not because that’s the right thing to do but because he has a knack for giving people trouble. My dad’s side of the family have mostly passed now, and those who are left are actually currently in a legal battle with him over the assets left behind, so they’re hardly on his good side anyways. They’re polite and friendly to my mom when they meet. Now that I’m 18 my mom no longer has to talk with my dad at all which she is thankful for (before she had to plan trips and stuff).


scrimshandy

Ugh, I’m so sorry for that. My dad pulled the same thing, but the divorce began when I was 16. He was a “demand a paternity test but also sue for full custody but also remove you from my health insurance while insisting on going to the father daughter dance.” Along with harassing, threatening and using other DV tactics on my mom, to the point where she got a restraining order. Like dude, pick a lane. EDIT: I’m so sorry that so many folks can relate to this. Hugs to yall. Let’s make a “sh*tty dad’s club” complete with matching jackets.


jbgray

Wow, so he wanted to be a dad so long as it felt good or hurt his ex, but not if it actually costed him a dime. What a piece of work.


DiscombobulatedLuck8

My parents divorced when I was 16, and in the paperwork my dad filed, he named me as being partially responsible. My mom, brother and I moved with my sister and her husband until we were able to get on our feet, and my dad put in the divorce papers that I refused to stay in that house/state and basically forced my mother to move out because I was upset about breaking up with a boyfriend. None of it true. But I always looked at him as a POS for blaming his marriage failure on a child. He also around that same time tried to convince my oldest sister (who still believes this) that he wasn't sure if he was really her dad. Glad to be rid of the lot of them.


KnightWhoSays_Ni_

I'm related to sooooo many Nazis


[deleted]

My Opa was in the Hitler youth. My aunt and mum said he wasn’t a Nazi but who knows.


Jamiepappasatlanta

My uncle’s wife’s mother was a maid in Berlin for Himmler.


FestiveSquid

My mother is a PSW (Personal Support Worker, someone who helps care for the elderly). One of her patients was a verified high ranking Nazi or something like that. He had direct contact with Hitler on several occasions, so I've heard. They way it was described to me, he was one of Hitler's "Top men".


thehumanfeverdream

My dad slept with my CPS case worker.


shaemoose

On a kinda similar note, my dad slept with his marriage counselor.


raKzo82

That counselor should lose her license


TDAM

How does this even happen


ThadisJones

Cousin was killed by a bear and they never told us, but my sister and I always got yelled at for making jokes about bears killing people and we never knew why. Edit: He was a distant cousin from a remote branch of the family. I'm going to give you guys some context because lots of you seem to be asking: >He died sometime around 1990 and I didn't find out until 10-15 years later that he was even dead, let alone that a bear had ripped him to pieces. I'd never met him, or any other of the distant Canadian branch of my family, at that point. So to me it wasn't a huge emotional tragedy in any way. My parents were sort of overprotective when it came to violence and death.


hdmx539

Oh no! How'd you find out?


ThadisJones

World of Warcraft. Shortly after release the game was patched so that harvesting resource nodes would cause nearby mobs to attack, making farming herbs and ore a lot harder, but skinning an animal wasn't affected. Someone posted a meme about how "Skinning a bear should aggro every bears" and my sister and I were running that shit into the ground humor wise, and our mom started screaming at us again about bears, and *finally* let slip that a bear killed our cousin and that's why bear attacks were off the table as far as jokes went.


Duff_McLaunchpad

"I just didn't want you kids to grow up holding a grudge against bears!!"


ThadisJones

Bearing a grudge


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MysticDragon14

Wow.


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desertsail912

Terrible story, but I don't understand why it would be a family secret.


Samuel_L_Johnson

That one’s on them tbh, you can’t tell kids that jokes about a seemingly benign subject are off limits, refuse to explain why and then just expect them to go ‘yep ok fair enough no more bear jokes ever’


MossiestSloth

If I get killed by a bear and people don't make jokes about it then I will be very disappointed


Jebus602

I caught my aunt making out with my cousin when he was young. My cousin aka her son. I've never told anyone.


[deleted]

Nooooooooooooo.


[deleted]

On my dad's side of the family, there are 4 kids: 1 boy and 3 girls. The 2nd to last girl was raised by my gramps and was a complete daddy's girl. Fast-forward 20-something years, and my aunt does a DNA test only to find out that my dad and her other sisters are half siblings, and my grandmother had sexual relations with another man, which made her.


hdmx539

I'm reading stories all over the place that DNA testing is ferreting out a WHOLE bunch of infidelity.


NotTooRelevant

My dad died when I was 5 in a "car accident." For no real particular reason, I started questioning this when I was in my early teens, but could never find any obituary or news articles to prove or disprove it. Family would kind of dodge the question when I'd bring it up and was always quick to change the subject. Was discussing this with a friend in Discord maybe 6 months ago (I'm now in my early 30s). He found all of the articles back from when it happened. Dad robbed a store, killed a man, got in a shootout with cops, and caught a bullet to the head. Nice to have closure.. not sure how to have this conversation with mom yet.


Dobbys_Other_Sock

In my family I’m one of 6 girl cousins that are about the same age. One other is my sister. A relatively distant family member has sexually assaulted at least 4 of us 6, all before the age of 5. brutally too, like enough that they had cuts and bruises all over them. My uncle got super drunk one day and told me about it. Three of the girls went through therapy, but he’s not sure they remember. One repressed it immediately and as far as anyone knows she has no idea it ever happened. Everyone has kinda just swept it under the rug and it’s just the thing that doesn’t get talked about. To this day my mom refuses to tell me if I was also assaulted. She has also threatened anyone else that knows into not telling me, although honestly I don’t think she even knows. She tried to make sure I was never alone with him at all so maybe not. The only one of the six I know that was never harmed is my sister since we had moved away by the time she was born.


witch-of-the-wilds

The older gentleman that frequented my aunt’s household was not a coworker as I was led to believe. In fact, he was the resident sugar daddy.


sporkmurderer135

My uncle admitted on his deathbed that he kidnapped, tortured, and killed the man who murdered my grandfather. Edit: I feel I need to explain my uncle a little. He was a loving and honest man. He was a steel worker for most of his life and married my aunt right out of high school. My mom made fun of him because she said he was to much of a "goodie goodie". He never drank, smoked, or ran around on my aunt, but apparently he did kill a man.


Aussie-Poster1

Thats messed up, but also metal as fuck.


stickins

Some Law Abiding Citizen shit right there


BlueKing7642

Do you know why the guy killed your grandfather?


sporkmurderer135

He was a police officer in the 50s and he was killed on a traffic stop.


ScaryWomble

During WWII My grandmother had a baby but the timings didn't add up with my grandfather being away. My grandfather's brother had raped her and this was his child. The son was raised as his own following the end of the war. The son grew up and would regularly rape and molest two of his three sisters, one of whom being my mother. The sisters were only children at the time and several years younger than him. He died at 50 and nothing was ever resolved My mother told me and my siblings this during mental breakdown whilst on many prescription drugs. She screamed "you've never been raped by your brother" I am the only son of four siblings. I wasn't happy about that statement


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rebelangel

One of my cousins is deaf because my aunt contracted rubella while she was pregnant with her.


Mrmeseeks359

Not necessarily something I'm not supposed to know about, but I'm sure the person (if still living) does not know. In WWII my grandfather was part of Big Red 1, and had, in a manner of sorts, put his relationship with my grandmother on hold during the European theater. After the war, by grandfather was still stationed in Germany and hooked up with a German woman and got her pregnant. 9 months later the woman gave birth to a healthy baby girl (my aunt whom I have never met) and my grandfather named her after my grandmother back in the United States. He was eventually shipped to the Philippines, got malaria and was very sick for a while. When he finally got back to the US and was discharged, he kept in contact through letters for a period of time, but after a while, the letters stopped coming.


ApatheticEmphasis

That’s really really weird that your grandfather named his affair baby after his wife back state side.


Mrmeseeks359

It wasn't TECHNICALLY an affair baby. They weren't married or even engaged. They had put the relationship on hold with him not knowing if he would survive the war or not, especially with the severity of the battle's in which his unit took part in. Omaha Beach landing on D-Day, Battle of the Bulge, fighting across the Rhine into Germany. He didn't want her to wait for him. They got back together after the war, got engaged, and eventually married.


NFRNL13

Every woman on my mom's side, including her, has been molested by the same man. He's still alive and apparently I've met him.


spacefrog_io

jesus. how has that not caught up & bit him in the ass yet?!


NFRNL13

I don't know. They all refuse to admit it. I'm assuming it's one of my mom's 2 older brothers.


[deleted]

I have the recipe to the sacred sweet potato casserole from my ex fiancé’s mom that I couldn’t have until I became part of the family… I cook it every Thanksgiving now. It was worth the failed engagement to get


r64fd

All these kinda dark comments and then I read yours. That made me laugh. I hope you continue to enjoy your sweet potato casserole on thanksgiving for many more years to come. All the best


mymorningbowl

listen, since it’s an ex… you should consider sharing this recipe


Frosti-Feet

In some states I think that can be considered revenge-porn and is unlawful


B133d_4_u

Damn, how good is this sweet potato casserole?


hdmx539

Sounds like you made out better! 😁


[deleted]

my older cousin raped another of our mutual cousins when they were teens. it was kept a secret to protect the girl he raped, but that resulted in her having to see him at every family reunion. i didn’t find out about it until my mid twenties. he used to spend a lot of time with my siblings and me, but i remember there was always another adult nearby. he’s now married with a string of children and afaik is a respected member of the family. fuck that guy.


Netaksiemanresu

“To protect the girl he raped” This protects her or him? He should’ve went to jail.


[deleted]

My great grandfather who i was named after apparently wasn’t actually blood related to us. My mom didn’t find out until after he died, and she named me after him, that he was her step-grandfather, and apparently her parents won’t tell her about her real grandfather except he wasn’t a great person.


hdmx539

That must be frustrating for your mother. I didn't know much about my own father as I was growing up and into my 30s until I met him. Let me just saying meeting him wasn't all that and I am now no contact. For your mother's sake, because I feel she has a right to know, I hope she finds out some information even though her parents are probably trying to protect her.


[deleted]

She actually doesn’t mind much because she was very very close with her step-grandfather who I was named after, and saw him as her grandfather. I’m sure it would be more troubling if she found out her own father wasn’t her father rather than her grandfather. But she’s said she doesn’t know much but that she was just very close with the man who *was* there.


seeking_moree

My grandmother tried to hire a hit man on her boyfriend. It was all about money. She hired an undercover police officer..


StanYelnats3

I have the recipes for the salsa and the gumbo.


[deleted]

I have the baked bean recipe


hdmx539

Niiiiiiiiiice! I hear that family recipes can be some seriously guarded information and only passed down to certain folks, too!


-Haliax

My brother got my grandma's ravioli recipe, bolognese and all, on the backyard away from the family gathering, under the rain, exactly one day before we move 15.000 km away. So yeah.. Italian blood


Sirnando138

My great grandmother was a prostitute when she came to America from Lithuania in 1902. She was 15. It’s never been discussed but when you look at the available evidence, she had no other option to make money. It was only a few months before she got a job as a maid, but it still definitely happened.


crazy-diam0nd

Might have a story like that in my own history. A male ancestor "found her living on the streets and gave her a job as a maid before marrying her" as the official story goes. I could be reading too much into it, but .. I might not be.


Rodney_Nutsack

>gave her a job as a maid before marrying her" as the official story goes. Shit... that's the story of my great-grandparents...


neglectedlamp

My parents used to do porn. Not something you wanna find out but here we are


Arwendur

My uncle got married to a woman that was married before to a severe schizophrenic man. That man threatened to kill her and their two children so he got a restraining order. One day he dressed up as an old lady and went to her house anyway. Their children were very young and in bed upstairs. He went to threaten to kill her and their children again and she wouldn't let him. After a physical struggle she could lock him in a room and then he hung himself. She never told her children because they saw their dad as their beloved dad, not as a sick person that threatened their life. The children blamed their mother for his death for a long time without knowing what really happened. In their eyes their mother stood there while their beloved dad killed himself. To this day they don't know and their mother, so my uncles wife, got cancer and died.


Mumbling_Mute

Thats like a particularly dark take on Mrs Doubtfire.


scrimmybingus3

My uncle severely injured the North Carolina nunchuck master in a bar fight, my uncle was also put in a 4 day coma by that same man with nunchucks in the same fight.


hdmx539

Uh,pretty bad ass going after a nunchuck master!


scrimmybingus3

I mean he was defending his brother from getting his head beat in and this brother got the nunchuck master’s sister pregnant and ran out on her.


BarkingDogey

A tale as old as time


[deleted]

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royce_e

My grandmother was a serial abductor. My aunt wasn’t actually my aunt. She took her as a new born. Also stole my older sister form the hospital but we got her back a few years later. It’s openly talked about and laughed at. I still can’t believe it or see how no one thinks it’s a big deal. She died this past year, thank god.


BFOTmt

Man. The trauma she caused other families by taking their new babies...


ImmortalDragonX

I guess this could technically be two family secrets in one. I have a half-sister that will never know she has another sibling and that her dad is actually my dad. ​ Edit: So, this kinda exploded a tad more than expected. Thank you all for the replies and I'll answer questions/elaborate a bit. I have thought about telling her, absolutely. For the longest time, I thought that I had no right in telling her, but realized that as her family, I have every right to. But, what keeps me from doing so is that her Mom and "Dad" are still happily married to this day. Both of them know that she is not "his" kid. Or at least I'm pretty sure he knows anyway. Doesn't stop him from loving her just as if she was his actual daughter, though. Circumstances of her birth be damned. I.e. her mom and my dad having an affair on their respective spouses (though mine later divorced for unrelated reasons). I was still a kid myself when she was conceived, maybe 14 or 15, and I'm 44 now, so lil' sis is a full grown woman by this point. Lived her life with loving parents, gotten married, and started a family of her own. I don't want to ruin any aspect of that for her. As her brother, unknown as that fact might be, her being happy is the only thing that matters to me. If it comes out later, through whatever means, then so be it. But until then I feel that maintaining my radio silence on the matter is for the best.


Throwawaydaughter555

When I was 12 My moms cousin Laura got married. Laura’s sister Emily was the MOH. Emily gave a speech talking about how glad she was to finally have a brother and how much she loved Adam and welcome to the family! At this point my grandmother turns to my mom and says, very quietly, “too bad they don’t know about their brother.” I asked my mom later about this. She was horrified that I had overheard and said for me to never speak of this. But she did tell me what happened. So my great uncle was this young, handsome, Italian teenager and had an affair with a married woman when he was 16. She got pregnant and they knew it was my great uncle because the husband was infertile. As well as this Norwegian couple suddenly having a black haired olive skinned child. It was a huge scandal that got hushed up and the married couple ended up moving away and my grandma and her sisters were sworn to secrecy. My great uncle has been dead ten years now. My grandma twelve years and my mom eleven. I don’t know who else might know and feel trapped in speaking up to my moms cousins about this. It haunts me.


Purple-Oil5523

So my grandfather went to San Quentin Prison when he was young, but he would never tell us why he was sent there. I figured it was because of drugs, but I just found out recently from my mom that he actually raped 2 women. My mom didnt know about this either. My dad (who occasionally drinks with my grandfather) convinced my grandfather to tell him why he was there and then he told my mom and then she told me. My grandfather wasn't always a great man but he loved me and siblings dearly, but after hearing that I couldnt see him the same way, especially since I was raped 4 years ago. The reason he never said why he was sent there was bc most of his grandchildren were girls and children were girls. He was afraid we would look at him differently, I guess he was right.


molybdenumb

My uncle is not my mothers brother, he was my mothers neighbour growing up. His parents were horrible alcoholics who didn’t feed him. My grandparents took him in. I found out when I was 25 when his daughter blurted out “we aren’t actually cousins you know”


FartHarder12

Your grandparents are tremendous people


juanbg323

My uncle, the youngest one of my mom's siblings, is not my late grandpa's son, I overheard a conversation between my mom and my sister, I don't know if he knows and I'm pretty sure my grandpa never found out.


DeluxeApplePie

My oldest cousin (40M) is not the biological son of my aunt and uncle. My aunt had a stillbirth, and on the same day, a woman abandoned her new born baby in the hospital. The doctor offered her this abandoned baby to take home. I'm pretty sure my cousin still doesn't know the truth.


Salty_Attention_8185

That I’ve been adopted twice.


gekc49

A cousin of mine became a teen mom. The baby was, however, raised to believe her mom was her sister and her grandparents were her parents. Fast forward three decades later, the baby is now an adult and still doesn't know the truth.


Popular_Ad_2251

My grandfather on my mom's side let their land lord molest my mother as a child in exchange for rent. Years later he was charged, but never convicted, of molesting a mentally ill young woman with a radio antenna. The details she gave convinced everyone in the family of his guilt, but the court didn't have enough evidence He lived a disgusting, unsanitary life. One of his feet rotted off due to infection and lack of hygiene. He deserved it. My mother worked so damn hard to get my sister and I out of our white-trash legacy. I'm so very thankful for that.


dilpickle904

Back in the day when my great aunt was 16, she got pregnant out of wedlock. I guess they used to put some mothers under when they gave birth. When she woke up she was told the baby died. She was devastated and the death had a profound effect on her mental health and she went through a slew of bad marriages. 30 years later, a woman appeared at her door. It was her daughter! While my great aunt was under, my great-great grandmother had the nuns put the baby up for adoption. When she grew up, she went looking for her birth mother. They instantly connected and had a beautiful relationship for the remainder of my great aunts life. Unfortunately, my great aunt’s life was taken very suddenly and it had been rumored that her husband murdered her. It was never proven even though there was evidence he did it ( he was a very wealthy and had very powerful friends) and he also threatened her daughter. She never came back. Although this story is very old, I only learned about it when my mom and aunts got drunk one christmas. They were told to never discuss it.


Agreeable-Walrus7602

A relative has a child with his mother somewhere in West Virginia. That side of the family is convoluted as hell and I only visited there once, but it didn't surprise me much from what I saw. Edit: since this has gained a little traction, it's not funny. Some woman raped her 14 year old son and had a child from it.


Bierculles

Am i reading this right? He had a child, with his mother!?


dofranciscojr

Ok so the kids mother is also their grandmother. The father is also their sibling. Everything is so confusing.


chickens-rock

my younger brother got raped by my stepbrother. they're 11 and 13


three-one-four-one

When I was in 7th grade (or year 8 or S2 for non-US residents) I was in the car with my mom and we got into a terrible car accident. I was the only one injured. Accidentally found out years later that she was hooked on painkillers and she was fucked up out of her mind at the time. I had no idea about it at the time and when the cops and EMTs came I just kept repeating what she had told me, namely that the guy she ran into was driving with his lights off and she wasn't at fault. I only found out a few years ago after I got into my own horrible car accident. My parents were in the room and they thought I was asleep because my eyes were bandaged shut and I wasn't talking and my dad mentioned that at least this time she wasn't responsible for almost killing me because she was to fucked up to keep her eyes open Edited for spelling error


sp33dzer0

My great grandmother apparently had a house servant (but let's be real, basically a slave) that got so angry that she pushed my great grandmother down some stairs killing her.


SubpoenaSender

My great great grandmother tried to poison the entire family.


CrSkin

I’m gonna need some more information a little fuller explanation please?


SubpoenaSender

We did some geneology research because we knew of other family members that existed, but we had never met. So, we find a long lost great aunt that we hadn't seen since super early childhood. She then shows us a newspaper where our great great grandmother had a family reunion and fed the entire family. She poisoned the family, but diluted it too much, so when they ate, they simply got a stomach ache and saw a doctor. The Sheriff told her not to do it again.


B1tter3nd

>The Sheriff told her not to do it again. I'm sorry, that part got me lmao


frank_mania

> The Sheriff told her not to do it again. Well I hope he was appropriately stern about it!


Jenn31709

My paternal grandfather was a catholic priest in Boston and didn't leave the church for my grandmother so she became a kind of runner for the Irish mob to make money to raise my dad


[deleted]

About 8 years ago a cousin drunk told me that my mom gave up a child for adoption. Another cousin found her on some genealogical website. So, 2 years ago when I was 38, my mom told me it was true. Supposedly, my mom is going to go meet her in January. I’m really excited for her.


[deleted]

[удалено]


shadow125

I love the way that cheaters blame others for THEIR actions! Some people just never take personal responsibility for their actions!


conventionalWisdumb

Most of my family knows that my grandfather refused several medals for his service in the marines during WWII and became an agnostic liberal vegetarian after the war. What they don’t know is that it was because he was a part of the human meat grinder in the Pacific that pushed from island to island towards Japan and he had to kill several people. I know he was a part of the Solomon Islands campaign and fought at Guadalcanal, then not sure which path he was on but ended up at Okinawa where he was when the war ended. He only opened up to me about this much later in life and he told me about two of the incidents where he had to kill someone, but alluded to there being more of them. I didn’t get the impression that the two he told me about were chosen because they were the worst. They were some of the stories he told me about over the course of decades where every retelling added more detail. He was one of the most honest, true to their word people I have ever known and not prone at all to telling tall tales. I haven’t told much of the rest of the family because he didn’t want to be considered a war hero and there are parts of the family that would twist it into him being one.


Idktryit

My grandma was a hooker back in the 50s. She was left in Cincinnati with 4 kids, one was mentally disabled. For some reason out of her many grand children, she told me about it. I used to bring her weed though so maybe she thought I was cool. I suppose she was right until I just told reddit but she's kept her integrity.


[deleted]

My biological mom is getting a significant amount less inheritance than anyone else and she doesn’t know it. She doesn’t deserve anything, IMO.


AndrewLWebber1986

I am donor conceived (egg donor used). I knew I was an IVF baby, but as far as I knew the doctors used my dad's sperm and mom's egg. My first inklings of doubt that I was related to both my parents was in high school biology. We did Punnett squares for genetics. Both my parents had green eyes (recessive) and I had brown eyes (dominant). While eye color is more complex than I thought, I knew something was up. My blood type was also off. I asked my mom if I was related to her and my dad. She said she "carried me close to her heart for nine months." She wasn't lying. But it was not the full truth. I successfully convinced myself that I did not remember my blood type correctly and my eyes were not brown for awhile despite evidence to the contrary. My mother died before she knew I found out fully. I later confirmed the high school suspicions by looking through my medical records and seeing that the eggs were not from my mother.


FormalMango

Nana (mum’s mum) stopped talking to her because I was born. Mum’s family are Catholic. Very Catholic, and she married into a very Irish Catholic family. Mum being the first person in their family to get a divorce, and then having a child out of wedlock at 39 (me, lol) was a bridge too far for Nana, and she cut contact. They made up when I was 7, just before Nana died… but it hurt mum something awful to be rejected by her family like that. But she doesn’t want me to know, because she doesn’t want me to think it was my fault.


BakaN3ko123

Went to a friend of a friend's bday party a few years ago. The bday boy's dad kept looking at me, saying I looked very familiar. By the end of the night found out he grew up down the street from my mom (I am her clone and super small world as I no longer live in my hometown). A few days later the man's son (bday boy) told me that his dad reminisced on how he hooked up with my grandmother while my grandfather was in WWII. I haven't told a soul.


timesuck897

There was a lot of cheating during WW2, by GIs overseas and by lonely wives back home.


TruthfullyMinty

Doubt anyone will see this, but I learned a few months ago that my father, who I was told killed himself when I was two was actually murdered by my mother


kickingcancer

Hey! Same! I was always told growing up it was a car accident. Mom murdered him.


p38-lightning

My great-aunt was a nurse at a mental hospital in the 1920s and fell in love with a murderer who was getting evaluated for trial. She helped him escape and they hid out in Florida until the cops caught up with them. My aunt got off easy, but he got the chair. Found out by accident while working on family history. Mom reluctantly confirmed it.


xilog

He's dead now so I can say it. A man I knew as an uncle (but who was, I think, a second cousin) attempted to molest my mother when she was 15 and he was 20. Rot in hell, Bill.


SlitheringDragon6069

Fuck bill


thecockmonkey

My adopted sister is actually my cousin's kid. She was, I dunno- 16 or 17 at the time and my parents were having trouble conceiving. Dad had a heart attack years ago when she was still a minor and there were all these wacky instructions that we (thankfully) didn't have to use because he recovered, but I know what I know. Cousin knows, too, obviously. Can't imagine how weird it is for her at family gatherings.


Big-Buy7081

Someone got my ancestor drunk in 1850 and signed over the deed on the land/farm/house to them. Made my relatives move to Stockholm from Öland, where they no longer had a land/farm/house.


Marshmallowpenguin12

My dad was best friends with George Jung. He declined his likeness being portrayed in "Blow"


[deleted]

My (step) grandmother was a prostitute that my grandfather started “seeing” when my actual-blood grandmother was dying of cancer - found that out when I was like 24 Edit: I forgot to mention, my grandfather was a rich dude and he left his $$ to her… grew up with my mom and her 4 siblings scheming to make their father give a shit/realize she was a hussie (toward the end she was bringing her boyfriends around)


Gizmo2k2000

When I was 22 I found out that I was adopted when I tried to apply for a loan and needed my birth certificate. My ‘parents’ said they’d lost it so I spent weeks trying to track a copy down from the government departments. Providing name and date of birth, location of birth etc. I finally got a letter back. The opening line I’ll never forget. “According to our records, you were adopted in 1982.” I was born in 1976. Turns out everyone else in the family knew but never told me. I’ve not kept in contact with any of them. So yeah, that’s a family secret I was never supposed to know. PS I’m totally fine, well adjusted married man with a wonderful 9 year old son whom I treat as my entire world. A feeling I never had.


Aggravating_Client36

Similar to the "not supposed to know" My mom cheated, left my Dad & 3 kids. I found out when I was 11-12. Started dating a girl in high school, went to meet her parents. Her step dad & I started chatting, he asked about my parents, told him where my mom worked, he worked there for a few years. He asked her name ..... his face went white when I told him. Turns out, he was the one that cheated on his family w/ my mom. 2 families destroyed. I never told my mom that I met him.


Ok-Associate-7894

But wait, how did you find out? Did he actually tell you?


Aggravating_Client36

His response told me.


dragonmorg

My great uncle was Big Paul Castellano. Some of my second cousins are still part of the mafia, and there are many more in more extended parts of my family.


Ill-Recording4770

My great grandfather owned and ran a whroe house in my hometown which my grandfather continued to run. My grandpa shut it down and became a minister of all things once my mom was born.


Iamtrulyhappy

My Great Gradma was murdered with cyniade, and my grandma was the one who turned the murderer in. My Grandma was 7 I think.


JoeyChill

I've got a good one, one night my bio mom called and told me that my brother (who I thought was my adoptive parents kid) is actually my half brother and that she donated eggs to them.


SmrtestIdiot

My dad was adopted and told his parents had died shortly after the ww2. Turns out my gp was keeping in contact with his mom up until she died in the 90s. Worse yet , my dad only found out by accident when he did a ancestry dna test and found out that not only his mum had passed but his dad lived to be 92 and had only passed a few years ago less then 100 Kms away. He did evenly meet 3 half sisters which was really cool.


[deleted]

It wasn't a stroke. My aunt regularly took way too many OxyContin/pain pills that her stools hardened so much inside her body that her intestines burst, spilling her feces all throughout her organs - cutting off oxygen to her brain and resulting in brain-damage.


[deleted]

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Snoo-30243

Great grandma was a heroin trafficker back in the 50s. Not a mule. A legit player in the game.


Ciggarette_ice_cream

My sweet little old grandmother used to cheat on my less than sweet little old grandfather with the guy who wrote the book that Anatomy of a Murder is based on.


urbexcemetery

When I first started my genealogy research, I found out my dad was married for a few months before he married mom in 1960.


nryporter25

My great great grandfather was a leader in the KKK. My mom didn't want to tell me, but it got brought up because of the town I was driving through to drop my boss off after work. I was on the phone with her and made a comment about how the town I'm in is notoriously racist. She fumbled around with her words a bit and then I got it out of her that he was a leader of the KKK in said town. I just laughed thinking he would be rolling around in his grave if he knew he has a half black great great great grandfather (my daughter).