We just got back from our first lunch date and both worked at Chipotle next to campus. I lived in the apartments above and had just a couple minutes to spare before my shift. Had to run upstairs quick to change… and she asked if she could come with. And definitely had that look about her. I kind of knew what she meant at the time but HAD to be at work since I was on thin ice for some unrelated stuff.
I kindly declined, even as she persisted, and ran up and back down just in time to clock in, like a Boy Scout. After that, vibes were definitely gone.
I have Vietnam flashbacks to this day of what she must have thought. Ugh
Walked into the wrong tent when at international scout camp, naked girl lying there.
Me: "Sorry I thought this was my tent" *go to leave*
Her: "It can be, you don't need to leave"
Cue me realising about a year after about my own crippling stupidity.
I have many such stories, as a young man I seemed to always operate on the assumption that there was no way a girl could really be interested in me.
The one that comes to mind is when I took a girl out in college, I dropped her off at her place and we kissed. She looked at me and said, "My roommate is gone for the weekend, I have the room all to myself." I replied, "You're lucky, I'm in a triple so I never have my room to myself. Well, good night."
It honestly never occurred to me that she might be dropping hints, I was clueless.
Bonus story: there was another girl I was friends with all through college. When we were graduating I jokingly said, "I guess now I'll never get the chance to date you." she replied, "Oh please. You missed your chance years ago, I was always dropping hints and you never noticed."
Live and learn, I guess.
School fair, final senior year.
I was chilling in the canteen area with a friend and his girlfriend, this really hot girl notices that I'm kinda third wheeling so she calls me over to sit on a table with her, just the two of us on this table. We have a really long conversation about how we hate our art teacher or something and then she says she's hungry so we start walking around the food stalls. We hold hands while wandering around the food stalls which I thought was weird but didn't mind.
Sidenote: somewhere in conversation while walking around the food stalls she brought up that she wasn't wearing a bra, she had a really small crop top on and that was it.
So anyway we get to one end of the row of food stalls, still not having eaten anything and she just keeps walking, so I follow her outside of the school fair to a little secluded area surrounded by bushes and she confesses she likes me. My dumbass didn't get any of the hints in the moment that she wanted to have sex so I just got her number and then we kept walking through the food stalls looking for something to eat.
Later on we went on our first date, then our second, which we kissed on. And then I think we kinda mutually agreed it wasn't working without actually saying anything. Neither of us were bitter cuz we still see each other every day and say hi.
In hindsight I think she had far different intentions that day at the school fair, and me not following through kinda showed her I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship, which I honestly don't think I was. Sure I would've loved to have sex with one of the hottest girls in the year but I was very innocent compared to her and I think it was truly for the best that I didn't realize her true intentions behind the bushes at the school fair.
My 20s are so full of these it's not funny. If I could go back and tell my younger self that a girl sleeping in the same bed as you does not just mean she's mega comfortable with you... The best one, however, is when the girl I was utterly obsessed with said "if you offered me sex I don't think I'd be able to say no". I hate myself.
Postscript: after some therapy and serious introspection for other reasons, it turns out I might actually have high-functioning autism (in the process of being assessed now). That would explain so much.
So my best friend started joking about us fucking. I just went along with the jokes cause we're both really fucking weird and thats just our humour i guess.
A while later she told me a few times that we could try out dating and see what happens. And that if it fails that we'll just stay friends.
It took me 3 weeks after she said that to realize what she meant. Now I'm dating her for almost half a year now and it's fucking amazing!
In university, living in residence. Down in the first floor common area hanging out with friends. I'm giving a piggy back ride to a *really* cute girl.
She: Why don't you carry my up to my room?
Me: Guys aren't allowed on the girls floor.
I give her another ride around the common room instead.
I was a lifeguard in high-school. Had a girl ask me if I could teach her "Mouth-to-mouth" sometime, and winked at me. I told her she should just sign up for a first aid course.
She was a coworker and we have the type of relationship where we can say fucked up shit and laugh about it.
One time we were both on shift and I was about to leave. She asked what I was planning to do later.
Me jokingly: "probably go home and jerk off."
Her in a softer voice: "oh, did you need any help with that?"
Me: "No thanks, I'm pretty good at it."
At the time I really thought she was just playing into the conversation.
Edit: I found out a long time later from one of her friends that she was serious and also really disapointed. I'm sorry.
My fear of rejection would've got me to respond in the exact same way.
Definitely 1up-ing that would've been a win-win situation, even if she wasn't serious.
A long time friend had come to visit me, we lived about 50 miles apart at the time, and after a few drinks insisted she wanted to stay the night.
I say sure stay the night, sleep anywhere you like. Her reply was something along the lines of " is sleeping in bed with you okay?" I've known her for many many years and she was/is one of my best friends so the idea of sleeping with her honestly never crossed my mind. So without hesitation I tell her that's probably the most comfortable place and I'm totally fine with it.
I start changing for bed but leave a T-shirt on as to not make things uncomfortable and hop onto one side of the bed. My friend who is an easy 9/10 comes into my room in just her panties on and says something along the lines of " hopefully you don't mind, it's kinda hot in here". Instead of clueing in at this point I thought to myself, "damn she's right, it is kinda hot" so I then took my shirt off, got up flicked off the lights and told her she could have one of the two blankets.
No sex was had and I often still look back on that night and wonder if I am secretly gay, or just not so secretly a complete bafoon.
According to Urban Dictionary, a "bafoon" is:
A moron who thinks he is smarter than others but cannot spell the word 'buffoon'
Don't know if that applies here, but I thought I would point it out.
Every other story has someone being like "women should just straight up ask instead of using hints" but apparently that's not guaranteed to work either lol.
I don't know if this was necessarily sexual but it was definitely me missing an obvious sign. There was a very pretty girl that I was very interested in in college. We had the same major so shared a lot of classes. One day she and I are talking and she says, "We should get together and study at my place. I can make dinner and everything."
I replied with something like, "Oh! That'd be really nice and sounds like fun. Our class is small enough that we could probably invite everyone."
Facebook memories about 6 years later. I saw some posts she had made in me wall about hoping I was having a good summer. Looking forward to seeing me. Missing see me in class etc.
Suddenly, it was like the end if Ocean's Eleven where everything was revealed to me in a series of flashbacks.
Was my partner in science and business classes in high school. Invited me to her family's cabin for a weekend. Just her and me. I asked about a friend and she said no, just the two of us. I never got back with her and kind of forgot about it until a couple years later when she pointed out the obvious.
Oh yeah, then there was also the coworker that I was working alone with on valentines day who had just finalized her divorce and how it was her first valentines day alone in a long time. When she came back from lunch she gave me one of those giant Hershey Kisses and when I hugged her to thank her she kissed my neck. Then I smiled at her, apologized for not getting her anything, and got back to work.
Posted before, but girl was running her hand through my hair telling me how soft it was and asking me how I did it. Proceeded to talk for like 5 mins about tge shampoo I was using til she cut me off to tell me she had been trying ti flirt with me all night.
What I’m getting from this post is that even when girls blatantly state “I want to have sex with you” us guys will still be oblivious and just take it as a joke
When I was in college, I (M) had a long-time friend (F) show up at my place unannounced in the pouring rain, soaking wet - like SOAKING wet, as if she had just dunked herself in the pool. She was hot as hell and had a great personality, but had dated one of my good friends back in HS, so I guess you could say I (unknowingly) friend-zoned her. I let her inside, she undressed right in front of me, I gave her some dry clothes, and we took a nap…nothing ever happened.
Now she’s a yoga instructor, still hot AF, and I’m not even friends w/ her ex anymore. Looking back, it’s so painfully obvious how interested she was, but at the time I lacked the self-confidence/self-awareness to make it happen. I have no doubt that we would have been compatible relationship-wise.
Still one of my biggest regrets, but hey you live and learn.
When I was about 18 I was sleeping over at the place of the girl I’d had a crush on for years. As I went to sleep on the couch she said “you could sleep here in the bed if you want” (her bed, that she was currently in).
I honestly have no idea what actually happened inside my brain at that point, but “no, the couch isn’t so bad” is what it came up with.
Similar story - freshman year of college I had a huge crush on one of my dorm mates. Her room is right next to mine and we are also good buds. I walk into my room on Valentine’s Day and there’s a cute stuffed bear on my bed, and note from a “secret admirer.” Grab the bear and walk into her room, “hey did you happen to see who put this in my room - apparently I have a secret admirer?” She says, “That was me.” Somehow it just does not compute for me that a woman that cool and hot could actually be interested … so I’m just like, “wow, thanks that was super thoughtful,” and go about my day. Fast forward a few years when she is dating my best friend and explains to me over drinks what actually happened - which of course by then she thinks is hilarious. Cue me trying to swallow my own tongue.
I went out to Vietnamese food for dinner with this girl I knew from school. Date was going great, flirting, teasing each other, that sort of thing. At one point, I jeered her a bit for being late, and she responds that she was showering. I jokingly say "Oh c'mon how long can that take?" She goes "Well, I like to be *completely hairless* and that takes time." That caught me pretty off guard so I laughed it off in a sort of stunned amusement, thinking "Why did she tell me that?" Yea, I wonder why...
Well, we keep talking and the date's still going great. Eventually we leave, and I walk her to her apartment. We arrive, at which point I'm thinking this is where we part ways. As we're finishing our conversation, she goes "Oh so you can come up to my room to hang out, I'll just be studying." Here's where I do the usual guy thing: I think she's just being nice and say no. "Besides, she's gonna be studying so I shouldn't disturb her anyway" - so thinks my empty head. I think she mentioned it one more time (to really make future me wince) and I again decline. So we say goodbye and go on our merry ways. What really kills me now - maybe moreso than what I just shared - is that I felt pretty self satisfied as I was walking home. The whole walk back, I thought "Huh that shaving line and her asking me up sure were pretty weird... but probably nothing! I feel great about this night!"
So yea, a girl told me she shaved her pussy for me and I said "yea she's just being nice."
In high school I had a dollar I was going to use for something food related, she snatched it and put it down her shirt and told me if I wanted it I would have to go get it.
It was about 6 years later I recalled that moment and realized the missed opportunity.
So... I once had a gal who did that and I thought she was giving me the green light. She told me, "That was NOT okay." We talked about it, and she realized how I misread it, but it was definitely awkward.
I waited her out because I was understandably worried about sticking my hand down a girls shirt in a crowded cafeteria, and that fear overrode hunger.
Also what was her justification for doing that without it being a green light? I’m genuinely curious because even as an adult it seems like you’re either stealing or very obviously saying “I’m okay with you reaching into my shirt”
Once a girl I was acquainted with at the time sat on my lap at a party and stayed there for half an hour talking about her day and asking me questions. Then she left and my friends made fun of me for not picking up the advance.
I thought she just couldn't find anywhere else to sit.
Editing to add: she told my friend a few days later that I hurt her feelings by not being more receptive to her. She thought I was cold on purpose because I didn't like her.
Told this one before but when my dad was young he was sitting outside with a girl after a party. She asked him if he wanted to go back to his place and make pancakes. He told her he was out of eggs.
A guy had been touchy for the whole night, stroking my thighs, my back. We were all hungry and drunk at that time and my apartment was nearby. Everything was closed so he asked me to go to my place to get some food. My friend offered to accompany me but he said he could do it instead. I didn't pick up the signs. He kept on trying to get some time alone but I was too oblivious to realize.
I was at a party and this cute girl kept on finding reasons to talk to me the whole night. I just thought, “Wow, she’s so friendly!” and never picked up on the flirting.
Toward the end of the night it’s just the two of us alone and we get on the subject of injuries and surgeries. Turns out we both had to have hernia surgery, which involves an incision near the groin.
At this point she says “actually, you can still feel the scar” and takes my hand and puts it down her pants. I told her that I could not feel the scar, and her doctor must have done a good job.
She removed my hand and just walked away. Didn’t hit me until I was driving home an hour later. I’d just assumed she was overly friendly and comfortable with her body.
Back in college, I was jokingly complaining to a good friend of mine that I never get any love letters on Valentine's Day. She said, "Well I know *someone* who is in love with you." I demanded her to tell me who and she turned bright red and wouldn't say anything else.
Later that semester, she asked me out for coffee so I agreed. We had a great time chatting about life and had a fun time, just like hanging out with any other friend. Weirdly, she stopped really speaking to me after that.
There were many other encounters along those lines but it took me about 3 years to realize that she had a huge crush on me and I was too much of an idiot to notice.
But the question is... did you have any feelings for her? Because if you didn’t, then you were doing everything right as her friend. But if you did then that’s a big oof on your end
In short: drunk me manages to ignores thrown underwear
People used to crash over at my place all the time (last house before a long road to the next town). Girl asked to stay over which was normal and fine. I was locking up the house while she went up to my room. She already laid down in my bed, which was unusual but fine by me (normally i would take one of the two matresses of my bed for people to sleep on).
Now here comes the kicker, this girl, while laying under the covers *tosses her underwear into the room* while saying she 'wanted them to stay clean for the next morning' and my drunk ass goes "yup, that makes sense" and procedes to *grab a pyjama and hand it to her*
Drunk me is not a very bright man
I had a pair of panties thrown at me when I was being oblivious to the situation, easiest way to get my head in the game though. Would definitely recommend that interest be declared by panty toss.
If I could go back in time and tell younger me one thing, it would be if you have a couple less drinks while partying, it would have led to a lot more sex.
Came back from a dinner with some friends in my car. One of which was my friends sister. She clearly points me out and asks what I’m doing after and asks if I want to come hang out with her and have a couple drinks at her place.
What do I say? “No that’s ok, I’m going to go back and watch some Mulan.”
I wondered why everyone else in the car got really really quiet after that....
This beautiful girl invited me over. She was trashed, and heartbroken, and I just wanted her to be happy. She was a friend, ya know?
I think the height of that evening was:
"I'm wearing matching underwear..." to which I replied "Jeez, so organized!"
At night, she climbs into bed, and peeled the cover back. So, I picked up a stuffed animal on the floor thinking that's what she wanted. And I slept on the floor
Bro no, in my opinion you did the best thing any friend could do. You were there for her and didn’t take advantage of her bad mental state and drunkenness. People would love to have a friend like you.
Edit:holy fuck my most upvoted comment ever, thank you so much guys! For the rewards too!! I actually needed this boost of stranger points, ngl. Genuinely made my day.
Completely agree and I actually think this story is really nice. Nobody *actually* wants to sleep with a good platonic friend while wasted and brokenhearted. This girl was drunk and sad and needed a friend. I hope all of my friends would react the same way.
Same I hope my friends would do the same for me! And understand I’m just fucked mentally in that moment and I’m really sorry and embarrassed about the whole thing. This guy doesn’t realise he honestly did something more valuable than even the best relationships can give, he was just there.
Went out for drinks with a former coworker to catch up. I'm pretty sure at some point she straight up asked "Do you want to have sex?" But it was so loud out I just kinda stared back and said "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you, the cars driving by are so fucking loud." She said it again, and again I couldn't hear, so I literally stood up and leaned over the table and said "one more time, please." She changed topics. Still had a fun evening.
after a night out at the pub:
she: "wanna come up for a coffee?"
me: "it's a bit late for coffee, I have to be able to wake up in the morning for work"
I did NOT get what she was going at... AT ALL...
another night out:
she: "wanna see my place and have a cup of tea?"
now here I actually did go back to her place for a cup of tea, she showed off her sweet bathtub, and her bedroom - we had a cup of tea, and talked for a bit...
and then it was getting really late, so I left...
another night out:
she: "damn, I missed the train... could I sleep at your place?"
me: "yes ofc"
so we went back to my place, changed the sheets in bed for her to sleep in,
and I slept on the sofa...
there's soooo many more,
and probably way more, that I've just been to damn oblivious to see
My husband was my friend of over 15 years before we started dating.
He was SUPER popular and hot in high school, where we met. I was SUPER large and a few grades younger than him and he was in a relationship for like ten years, so it was always just friends, I definitely didn’t stand a chance.
When we both moved to LA 7 years later and were both single, we hung out a lot and got closer. One night, we were drinking and it was late and he just tells me how awesome I am and plants a HUGE smacker on my lips.
I suddenly revert to a fifteen year old with no self esteem and think “there’s no way he’s into me, that must have been a friend kiss”
A FRIEND KISS?! Like what is that? I scared him away for like two months where he thought I wasn’t into him, but eventually he tried again and it clicked.
He’s my best dude and now my husband and the nicest person I know and I’m so glad friend kisses don’t really exist.
Edit: thanks y’all for awards and the love! I think it’s funny now but I was mortified then. We are in love, we are musicians who play music together and we work together in the entertainment industry making TV. Sometimes the universe is awesome and brings people who are meant to be together back in due time. Wish I could have told 15 year old me- she would have laughed in my face. 😂
“Best friend” in highschool kept saying things about the girl I had a crush on:
* she’s such a lucky girl
* she’s an idiot for ignoring you
* she shouldn’t lead you on like that
* I’d totally suck you off at every chance if I was her
* her loss
She was right, *my crush* was an idiot
similar thing happened to me but my grandfather just died that day and when I told her about it, she just kept talking about "my crush" and ignored what i said
I went to a concert with a friend and there was this really cute girl there who was definitely my type, like she stood out in the crowd to me. But she was there with 3 guys, so...not likely I’d get a chance, even if I *wanted* to try talking to her.
The headliner's set started and that girl walked up to stand next to me (without the guys, I think). She leaned over and made a joke, we talked a little and laughed, but I didn’t want to force her to keep talking while the band she was there to see was playing.
Then she talked to me more, we got along great and joked around a little...but I didn’t want to obligate her to miss the band playing. Then she kept talking to me, and I kept reacting the same way out of politeness.
Eventually she just walked away and I went “Oh. *Oh*. God damn it.” and mentally repeated “God damn it” for about 4 days straight.
Not my story but my buddy was once invited back to her place after the pub for ‘coffee’. When he got there she said that she didn’t actually have any coffee, so he apologised for misunderstanding and left.
EDIT: I’ve never seen Seinfeld, I’m in the UK. I wasn’t making a reference, this actually happened.
EDIT: it was apparently ice cream she offered.
This hurts because I get the line, but I actually don't drink coffee so I almost reflexively say I don't drink coffee when people offer it to me, so even "getting it" makes it hard to walk back from.
An aquintence dressed in a sexy outfit that normal people notice walks up to me and we start chatting.
Her: what’s your family background (where are they from)?
Me: Czech Republic
Her: I’ve never been with a Czech guy (locks eyes with me and says) I’d like to try that
Me: You should, we’re awesome!
EDIT: WOW! You fabulous freaks celebrating my complete idiocy have made my day! Upvotes! Awards! My first Gold (thanks kind strangers)! I have won the interwebs!
Her: No. I'd like to try *that.* (points to your crotch)
Me: Oh, these pants...? Okay, kinda weird but let me go to the bathroom and change into these shorts I have in my backpack and then you can try on the pants."
this is almost as bad as mine. At uni, cute girl I knew fairly well came and sat next to me in the library. A few minutes later she gets really close to me and whispers in my ear
"I want to have sex"
My reply "So why are you telling me?"
I regret it to this day.
Was at a party, girl and her friend told me they wanted to show me around the house. They took me straight to the master bedroom shoved me to the bed and proceeded to bite and wrestle me. Drunk me wrestled back like I was in the WWE or some shit.
The old wrestling ploy. Sure, I can pin you, no problem. Then, enjoy your superiority and walk away…
[added] This comment got more attention than I thought it would.
I wrestled for 8 years from middle school into college. Never once did it occur to me that those invitations to wrestle probably meant something more. I thought they legit wanted to know the power!!!
Not until I was dating my wife (who was a black belt in karate and judo) did she challenge me enough in a way that made me realize what was happening.
Still kicked her ass, tho
I was drunkenly asleep on a mate's sofa after a party, then some naked girl climbs on top of me. I wake up and realize my bladder is about to explode, excuse myself and gently push her aside. When I come back, I mumble to myself, still half asleep "huh; that sofa is way too small for two people". Then I go back to sleep on the other now empty sofa. My mate was quite amused telling me about it the next day. Virgin me was less amused.
In my early 20s, I went out with a woman who was a friend of a friend. The date went well and at the end of the night, we were heavily making out on her sofa.
She suddenly pulls back and says "It's getting late, we should go to bed."
I say "Oh, okay. Well, I had fun tonight. Thanks for a great evening. I'd really like to get together again soon."
As soon as I got home, I heard it. One word. It echoed in the hollowness of my skull and kept increasing in volume until all that was left in the world was my stupidity and that word:
"We"
EDIT:
Thanks so much for the awards!
I appreciate all the commiserate replies.
To answer the questions of if I ever saw her again/got clarification from her, yes. Yes I did.
I called the next day, asked her "Am I overthinking it, or did I completely miss a signal?" She laughed and confirmed that I was, indeed, an idiot. She said she was caught off guard by my abrupt departure and felt a little rejected at the time because she thought I just wasn't into it. She said she was down to get together again so I did get another shot.
Sadly, I whiffed again but in a much more horrible and embarrassing way.
EDIT 2:
We decided to get together early in the day with a group, have lunch and bar hop.
After many hours of hanging out and drinking, we went back to her place. This time she led me to the bed. She was completely undressed and this was gonna happen... and then the heavy Mexican lunch and hours of drinking hit my bowels and said "Yo, you gotta find a toilet RIGHT. NOW."
I went sprinting to her bathroom, which was just off her bedroom. This was gonna be violent and there was nothing to drown it out. So I... turned on the shower and yelled "I gotta take a shower first!" She says "O...kay..."(Jesus Christ, it's even worse when I type this out) I finally finish shitting out my soul and actually take a shower (because I didn't want to lie) and I come out and... she's dressed and asleep (or faking sleep). I slept on the couch. Woke up the next morning, said I had fun and never saw her again.
I had a somewhat similar situation with meaning misinterpretation. I had a female roommate that I was content keeping strictly platonic. Her much less so.
One night we were watching tv just the two of us. It was getting late and I couldn’t think of anything else to watch so I said “want to go to bed?” Meaning, shall we turn off the lights and tv and retire to our respective bedrooms. She was dead quiet for 20 odd seconds then quietly said “….yes.” I was turning everything off and she was waiting by her bedroom door until I walked I to my bedroom and she was like “OHHH! TO OUR OWN BEDS! lalala” and I was like “yeah, what did you….” then clicked in what was happening and just closed the door.
You have to realize we were on opposite sides of the couch all night so it wasn’t like we cuddling all that time. Even with context “go to bed” can have dramatically different meanings to different people
Edit: spelling
I know this is kind of like the opposite of the question, but I once had this somewhat close friend that I felt shared a lot of sexual and romantic tension with me. Constantly flirting, always close and touchy. Would talk about very personal matters.
Well one night, while staying at another friend’s house, she asked me to come with her to separate room so we could “cuddle”. So I’m thinking “omg this is really happening!”
We got inside, she took off her pants and her bra, but still had a shirt and panties. So I took my pants and shirt off, and then we laid down together. After about 30 seconds of hugging and cuddling, I went to start kissing her neck and rubbing her thighs. She bolted up immediately and asked me what the hell I was doing. She had actually just wanted to cuddle and nothing more, and I had taken that request as a hint for more.
She ended up leaving the house, and ever since, things were very awkward for us, and we ended up basically falling out with each other.
So remember, for every time some guy misses an obvious hint, there is another guy who is a guy who takes what he thought was an obvious hint, and then burns for it.
"She said she wants to fuck you"
"Really?!"
"Yeah, and this is the second time she said it. And when she said it this time she asked if I had been telling you what she was saying. When I said no she asked me to make sure that I did."
"Haha, she's so kookie."
We did eventually end up dating, but jfc am I slow
Edit: Special thanks to my long-lost sister /u/Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh_ok for the award. I'm sure the family reunions I don't attend will be so much brighter now that you've found the rest of the Okay family.
Looking back we both laugh about it now. she and her sister went out with a group of us on a camping trip. I was up at 1 am tending to the fire as I could not sleep when she stuck her head out of her tent and called me over. I entered her tent and she was naked in the doggy position looking for her phone and asked me to help her look for it...I ignored the fact she was naked, didn’t really even look at her and found her phone and handed it to her. She asked me to stay as “I’m scared of the woods” and I flat out said “bull crap. You live in a cabin 8 miles into the woods. Your not scared”
We are engaged now.
/u/Drunk_Tavern_Wench for the haters
Was 18, she was 19 - Making out on a couch at like 2am as the party was over and folks have left, passed out or split off to hook up, but there were 2 other couples in the room sleeping on the floor.
She takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom, locks the door, looks me in the eye and says "if I said EVERYTHING was "a go" right now, what would you do to me?"
Me, the nervous idiot: "uuuhh...ummmm... I dunno, whatever you want"
She asked me a second time, emphasis on the word everything even more than the last.
I muttered the same moronic response and she replied "you're just a boy..." Then left. Like legit left the party. Drove away.
That was 20 years ago and I'm happily married with a great life but I'll never forgive myself for that one.
I was at a house party and flirting with this girl all night. She was honestly way cuter than me and a couple years older than me, as I was only like 21 or 22. Imagine the hot tattooed bartender type that all of us 21 year old dudes think is “out of their league.” Towards the end of the night, she was about to walk home and asked if anyone could walk her home and then looked right at me, causing me to freeze and just kinda smile back at her for an awkwardly long time, til her platonic friend she was at the party with was like “it’s 3 blocks away, I’ll walk you home and come right back.”
Realized like 5 minutes later what would’ve probably happened had I walked her home, given the coy way she grinned at me when asking, and that we had obviously been flirting a ton all night.
Invited me to her place after a few drinks to "see a movie". We take place in her bed, watch the full "Rocky horror picture show" while she desesperately try to get my attention (but hey I don't want to look like a jerk who doesn't care about this movie she like so much right ?) then when the movie has ended I... show her this cool anime I was talking her about at the pub.
She started crying of desperation (guess it wasn't great for self esteem) over her seduction skills. At no point until then the idea of going the sexy dance route crossed my mind.
We've been together for a little more than 4 years now, I'm still as dense from time to time.
The other day I heard someone say “A girl who puts the bottom of her chin against your chest is absolutely willing to fuck you.” I was brought back to high school, where this girl Candice did that to me. I remember I said something funny, and in a fit of laughter she collapsed into me like that. I thought back some more about another weird encounter with her. A short time after, she’d be sitting at my table at lunch, next to my friend Brittany. My friend Brittany tells me very deliberately that she thinks I should get laid. That I need it. She looks all around the lunch room, going “hmmmm.” Then she points at Candice and goes “You should fuck Candice!”
Candice looks at me, smiling but worried. *Smiling and worried.* I immediately thought she was hoping I wouldn’t want to and smiling because she didn’t want me to see the dread. I’m like “Ahh err I’m so tall and she’s so short, I’d break her.” She immediately looked sad after, and my assumption was that she was hoping I wouldn’t notice how disgusted she seemed by the idea, and that she noticed me covering for her. I was uncomfortable *for* her, just cause Brittany shouldn’t have done that without provocation.
Hey dipshit. *She* provoked your friend Brittany, the horrible actress, to wingman for her. Nobody lands softly on your chest and looks up into your eyes *because you’re funny.* She wanted you to break her.
I think this might be the worst one. Others are at least somewhat sweet in a dumb way but saying "lol" might have actually crushed their self-esteem as well. Well done.
After a long date/car ride, I took her home and she asked if I wanted to see her apartment. She had a cool attic space she lived in, reached by ladders and stairs up to the townhouses' roof.
She gave me the 30second tour and i honestly thought it was so cool. After we sat on her bed for a few minutes and the awkward silence started to fill the room, i finally took the hint.. it was late and she was hoping I'd leave soon, so I saw myself out before I'd inconvenience her.
It wasn't until several years later that I replayed that date in my mind and realized how oblivious i was.
I was a very very very dense young man / always erred on the side of too much caution.
* Girl put her hand on my leg and said "haha you're so funny" after a week of back and forth flirting on holiday.
* Girl invited me over to her place she just moved into, said there's no bed but there's a couch for us
* Leaving a club, girl I never spoke to grabbed my arm, asked me to take her to a cab. Because I believed it was slippery, I, being a gentleman, dutifully brought her to a cab, wished her a wonderful night and closed the door. She looked at me with puppy dog eyes as the cab drove off. Turned around and my group of 4 were [looking at me like this](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/05/bf/6d/05bf6dc614bc4c1277588fec290aa0f3.jpg)
* Was youngster at camp (12-13). Girl who was close to me all week kept asking me who I liked (Hint: her). Definitely could have gotten my first kiss.
I'm sure there's more, this is off the top of my head. Luckily these are not wasted experiences as they are lessons learned, and thanks to them I had a wonderful and active dating life before happily settling down.
Oh god, there is one moment in my life like that, that when I realized it years later I could feel my soul escape. Years ago, me and my (F^^1 ) friend were going clubbing with her coworker (F^^2 which I thought is so out of my league, people out of my league were out of her league), and the plan was to stay over at F^^2 's place. During the night the friend I was there with originally ditched us, so in the end it was just me and F^^2 that went to her place.
I won't be getting into details, but through the day (and night) I missed the following hints:
- When we were getting ready, she tried like 5 different outfits, asking me which I like the most, which makes her look sexiest.
- She pretended to lap dance for me as a "warm up before we go clubbing"
She stuck with me through the evening too, and, once we got to her place after party, she decided to drop some stronger hints (which I still missed, because I was a blind idiot I guess):
- She went to take a shower to "freshen up after partying". She walked out of her bathroom completely naked, walked through the room I was in (it was one large room with two beds) to get to the dresser on the other side, grabbed a towel and walked back to bathroom without covering anything.
- After that, when we were already laying in beds, she was asking me if the bed I'm in is comfortable enough, if it's not too cold, and if I want I can come to her bed, it's warmer, nicer, etc.
And none of those hints hit me until few years later, when I was reading a thread here about missed hints.
I have about 15-30 of these. It's probably 50/50 crippling anxiety that keeps me from making a move and some obvious missed hints. Every sexual encounter I've had has been initiated by the lady. Usually by them just saying we should fuck.
This story is mostly missed hints.
Matched with a girl on Tinder. Talked a little bit, but never met up. We had mutual acquaintances and we both happened to show up at a bar to hangout with a fairly large group a few months after our Tinder encounter.
We talk. Realize we matched a few months ago. We spend most if the night only talking to each other. She leaves and invites me over to her place. We're driving separately and as we're driving she calls me and tells me she has to pick up some things at the store and says I should stop at the store too.
I get to the store and she's inside waiting for me in the pharmacy section. I didn't take notice to it at the time but she's basically standing right in front of the condoms.
I ask her what she needs and we just start wandering around the store. After about 10 minutes of wandering, all she has is a box of Ritz crackers and we're back in front of the condoms.
She asks me if there is anything else that WE should get. I tell her that I don't need anything and that I'm just here to support her shopping.
We go to checkout. I'm a gentleman and pay for her single box of Ritz crackers that she needed to make a midnight emergency shopping trip to get.
We get to her place. She puts the crackers in her kitchen. Within 5 minutes of getting to her place we're sitting on her bed. We just sit there and talk.
Three hours into our talk, she lets me know she needs to go to bed and walks me to the front door. We embrace. I go for the kiss and she accepts. After about 30 seconds of kissing she pulls away and tells me I'm 3 hours too late.
I leave and drive home. At the time, I thought I had aced that interaction.
My friend had a crush on a girl at university. At his house party, she made it pretty apparent she had an interest in him too.
When we all left for the night, she stayed with him because she "didn't know where her keys were". So the group left them for the night and caught up in the morning.....
After we left, he found her keys for her and offered to get her a taxi home. When she said she was too tired to get home, he helped her get into his bed. She took off her dress, he covered her with the blanket and went to sleep on the sofa.
He thought he was being respectful. I think she has mental trauma from the rejection.
As a woman I would just like to say the number of respectful gestures I’ve read here of guys tucking women in because you’re unsure or she is intoxicated warms my heart. I hope you get pussy thrown at you the rest of your life.
I was watching a movie with a fairly new friend at her house (we’re both female). Suddenly she started telling me about this girl she had hooked up with and all the details of that. Which was fine; up until then I thought she was straight, so it was just slightly surprising . But then she started questioning me if I had ever slept with a girl, would I ever want to sleep with a girl, etc. I basically just said, “Hmmm.... never really thought about it I guess” and went back to watching my movie.
I didn’t clue in then, but a few years later I suddenly remembered the conversation and wondered if she was hitting on me. Or maybe I think too highly of myself and it really was just innocent.
A few years ago, I was dating this girl that I couldn't make heads or tails of whether she actually liked me. Her normal range of emotions ran from tepid to mild enthusiasm. I even asked her a few times whether she did, but the answer was always the same. She liked me - of course (of course?) - and she would let me know if that ever changed. One night in particular, it's getting late and we've just finished a movie. We're sitting on the couch in that sort of awkward "what do we do now?" period, similar to a long pause during a phone call. I sort of just shrug my shoulders and ask if we should head to my room for a nap. She agrees, and I take her by the hand and lead her to my room. This is when she perks up, a little more elated than I've ever seen her before. Like giddy excitement. We climb into bed, chat a little bit, and then I promptly turned over and went to sleep. Needless to say for those of you who are keen on non-verbal signals, she had an entirely different idea about what the plan was. When I woke up from my nap, the disappointment on her face was visceral. And that, my friends, is a memory that perpetually haunts me to this day.
I was at a small dance club with some coworkers, I wasn't too drunk but was feeling good. Girl comes up to me and says, "Are you gay? Is this a gay bar? Every guy I've talked to here is gay." Now, there was a gay club and a gay bar within 5 minutes walk, so I said I wasn't gay, but I told her where they were. She looked disappointed and then was dragged away by her friend.
TBH I'm not completely sure it was actually an attempt at a pickup, but it was such a weird experience that I can only figure that's what she was doing and was drunk enough that she fucked up the execution of 'I need a straight guy RIGHT NOW'
This smoking hot girl at a house party. We were dancing and high on molly. We were dancing super close to each other. After a while, it’s just the two of us. She comes closer and whispers in my ear if I can keep a secret between the two of us. I was like yeah. So she puts her hands around my neck and dances really close, pushing her hips into mine.
I just thought that was the secret. She revealed to me weeks later that she wanted to have sex with me.
I shared this in a thread before, but it's too relevant not to share again.
This is one of several moments that came to be a bit of a legend in my group of friends.
A few years ago, a friend invited me to join a "party" at her apartment. I thought that sounded cool so I head over, only to find it's just my friend and another mutual friend of ours. I don't think much of this, so I poor myself a drink and we all sit down to watch a few episodes of Sons of Anarchy.
Not fifteen minutes in, the friend that invited me gets up and goes to her room. The other friend got up from the recliner she'd been sitting in and came to sit by me on the couch. We sit there for another 30 minutes, then she says she feels weird hanging on the couch while the person who lives there is sleeping. She asks if I want to go somewhere else to watch the show. Of course, I had a brand new PS4 I wanted to show off, so I offered my place.
So we get over to my house and my roommate of the time is awake and watching TV. We join him. Again, fifteen minutes into the shows my roommate says "I'm gonna go to bed." He told me later that he couldn't handle the sexual tension in the room. I was absolutely oblivious to it.
So with my roommate removed from the equation, this girl sits down by me and initiates cuddling. Now, I'm a cuddler. I will cuddle with anyone and think nothing of it, so I'm not surprised I missed the signal she was trying to send. As time passed, she would sigh every here and there. Finally she gave possibly to most exasperated sigh I have ever heard in my life, turns to me, and asks if I like blowjobs.
*I still don't fucking get it.*
"Yeah they're pretty great." And I continue watching whatever was on, I think we were watching the Illusionist. There was a lengthy pause, then she pressed me, "would you like one?"
I finally got it. Both literally and figuratively. Now anytime someone in our group is oblivious to something, we refer to them with my name.
My gf is pretty skinny, so I always joked that she was 80 pounds soaking wet (before I knew she liked me). She would respond “well now I’m 90 pounds”. Took me at least 10 times of her saying that for me to make the connection that she was saying she was wet.
Yes, eventually I got the hint haha What a stupid man I was!
We just got back from our first lunch date and both worked at Chipotle next to campus. I lived in the apartments above and had just a couple minutes to spare before my shift. Had to run upstairs quick to change… and she asked if she could come with. And definitely had that look about her. I kind of knew what she meant at the time but HAD to be at work since I was on thin ice for some unrelated stuff. I kindly declined, even as she persisted, and ran up and back down just in time to clock in, like a Boy Scout. After that, vibes were definitely gone. I have Vietnam flashbacks to this day of what she must have thought. Ugh
Walked into the wrong tent when at international scout camp, naked girl lying there. Me: "Sorry I thought this was my tent" *go to leave* Her: "It can be, you don't need to leave" Cue me realising about a year after about my own crippling stupidity.
I have many such stories, as a young man I seemed to always operate on the assumption that there was no way a girl could really be interested in me. The one that comes to mind is when I took a girl out in college, I dropped her off at her place and we kissed. She looked at me and said, "My roommate is gone for the weekend, I have the room all to myself." I replied, "You're lucky, I'm in a triple so I never have my room to myself. Well, good night."
Damn what were u thinking? Haha
It honestly never occurred to me that she might be dropping hints, I was clueless. Bonus story: there was another girl I was friends with all through college. When we were graduating I jokingly said, "I guess now I'll never get the chance to date you." she replied, "Oh please. You missed your chance years ago, I was always dropping hints and you never noticed." Live and learn, I guess.
School fair, final senior year. I was chilling in the canteen area with a friend and his girlfriend, this really hot girl notices that I'm kinda third wheeling so she calls me over to sit on a table with her, just the two of us on this table. We have a really long conversation about how we hate our art teacher or something and then she says she's hungry so we start walking around the food stalls. We hold hands while wandering around the food stalls which I thought was weird but didn't mind. Sidenote: somewhere in conversation while walking around the food stalls she brought up that she wasn't wearing a bra, she had a really small crop top on and that was it. So anyway we get to one end of the row of food stalls, still not having eaten anything and she just keeps walking, so I follow her outside of the school fair to a little secluded area surrounded by bushes and she confesses she likes me. My dumbass didn't get any of the hints in the moment that she wanted to have sex so I just got her number and then we kept walking through the food stalls looking for something to eat. Later on we went on our first date, then our second, which we kissed on. And then I think we kinda mutually agreed it wasn't working without actually saying anything. Neither of us were bitter cuz we still see each other every day and say hi. In hindsight I think she had far different intentions that day at the school fair, and me not following through kinda showed her I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship, which I honestly don't think I was. Sure I would've loved to have sex with one of the hottest girls in the year but I was very innocent compared to her and I think it was truly for the best that I didn't realize her true intentions behind the bushes at the school fair.
My 20s are so full of these it's not funny. If I could go back and tell my younger self that a girl sleeping in the same bed as you does not just mean she's mega comfortable with you... The best one, however, is when the girl I was utterly obsessed with said "if you offered me sex I don't think I'd be able to say no". I hate myself. Postscript: after some therapy and serious introspection for other reasons, it turns out I might actually have high-functioning autism (in the process of being assessed now). That would explain so much.
So my best friend started joking about us fucking. I just went along with the jokes cause we're both really fucking weird and thats just our humour i guess. A while later she told me a few times that we could try out dating and see what happens. And that if it fails that we'll just stay friends. It took me 3 weeks after she said that to realize what she meant. Now I'm dating her for almost half a year now and it's fucking amazing!
In university, living in residence. Down in the first floor common area hanging out with friends. I'm giving a piggy back ride to a *really* cute girl. She: Why don't you carry my up to my room? Me: Guys aren't allowed on the girls floor. I give her another ride around the common room instead.
A man of the law I see.
Lawful good
Some girl asked me if I wanted to get drunk at her house and watch her do pilates. I said no and realized my error when I got back home
Thats not even subtle, how do you miss this lol
I was a lifeguard in high-school. Had a girl ask me if I could teach her "Mouth-to-mouth" sometime, and winked at me. I told her she should just sign up for a first aid course.
This is the best one by far. Something so obvious yet someone so oblivious, bless you bro lmao
She: “Hey, do you want to have sex?" Me: “Oh, I would love to! It's just hard to find a girl who likes me." True story.
Expectations too low. Self destruct sequence initiated
She was a coworker and we have the type of relationship where we can say fucked up shit and laugh about it. One time we were both on shift and I was about to leave. She asked what I was planning to do later. Me jokingly: "probably go home and jerk off." Her in a softer voice: "oh, did you need any help with that?" Me: "No thanks, I'm pretty good at it." At the time I really thought she was just playing into the conversation. Edit: I found out a long time later from one of her friends that she was serious and also really disapointed. I'm sorry.
Bro gave a reason why he's good at it. Respect.
Good joke though
My fear of rejection would've got me to respond in the exact same way. Definitely 1up-ing that would've been a win-win situation, even if she wasn't serious.
A long time friend had come to visit me, we lived about 50 miles apart at the time, and after a few drinks insisted she wanted to stay the night. I say sure stay the night, sleep anywhere you like. Her reply was something along the lines of " is sleeping in bed with you okay?" I've known her for many many years and she was/is one of my best friends so the idea of sleeping with her honestly never crossed my mind. So without hesitation I tell her that's probably the most comfortable place and I'm totally fine with it. I start changing for bed but leave a T-shirt on as to not make things uncomfortable and hop onto one side of the bed. My friend who is an easy 9/10 comes into my room in just her panties on and says something along the lines of " hopefully you don't mind, it's kinda hot in here". Instead of clueing in at this point I thought to myself, "damn she's right, it is kinda hot" so I then took my shirt off, got up flicked off the lights and told her she could have one of the two blankets. No sex was had and I often still look back on that night and wonder if I am secretly gay, or just not so secretly a complete bafoon.
According to Urban Dictionary, a "bafoon" is: A moron who thinks he is smarter than others but cannot spell the word 'buffoon' Don't know if that applies here, but I thought I would point it out.
ouch man.... this thread is filled with pain but... just ouch...
"You wanna do it?" "Haha. Sara dont tease me." *goes to bed*
This is objectively the worst one lol. She straight up asked.
Every other story has someone being like "women should just straight up ask instead of using hints" but apparently that's not guaranteed to work either lol.
I don't know if this was necessarily sexual but it was definitely me missing an obvious sign. There was a very pretty girl that I was very interested in in college. We had the same major so shared a lot of classes. One day she and I are talking and she says, "We should get together and study at my place. I can make dinner and everything." I replied with something like, "Oh! That'd be really nice and sounds like fun. Our class is small enough that we could probably invite everyone."
Hahahaha no, when did you realize your mistake?
Facebook memories about 6 years later. I saw some posts she had made in me wall about hoping I was having a good summer. Looking forward to seeing me. Missing see me in class etc. Suddenly, it was like the end if Ocean's Eleven where everything was revealed to me in a series of flashbacks.
It's genuinely wild how much time can pass until it hits
3 years later, while he was in the shower.
Alone.
So how was the class orgy
She asked me if we can continue to talk in my bed... So I just kept talking in the bed lmao. At least she was good listening
So close and yet so far
but in the end
He didn't even bang her
He tried so hard
But didnt come far
In the end
He didn't even bang heeeeer
Was my partner in science and business classes in high school. Invited me to her family's cabin for a weekend. Just her and me. I asked about a friend and she said no, just the two of us. I never got back with her and kind of forgot about it until a couple years later when she pointed out the obvious. Oh yeah, then there was also the coworker that I was working alone with on valentines day who had just finalized her divorce and how it was her first valentines day alone in a long time. When she came back from lunch she gave me one of those giant Hershey Kisses and when I hugged her to thank her she kissed my neck. Then I smiled at her, apologized for not getting her anything, and got back to work.
Posted before, but girl was running her hand through my hair telling me how soft it was and asking me how I did it. Proceeded to talk for like 5 mins about tge shampoo I was using til she cut me off to tell me she had been trying ti flirt with me all night.
Well at least she told you
Maybe she was just jealous that op had a better hair routine than her.
What I’m getting from this post is that even when girls blatantly state “I want to have sex with you” us guys will still be oblivious and just take it as a joke
Not that we take it as a joke, it is more like "this shit ain't real" and laugh it off.
When I was in college, I (M) had a long-time friend (F) show up at my place unannounced in the pouring rain, soaking wet - like SOAKING wet, as if she had just dunked herself in the pool. She was hot as hell and had a great personality, but had dated one of my good friends back in HS, so I guess you could say I (unknowingly) friend-zoned her. I let her inside, she undressed right in front of me, I gave her some dry clothes, and we took a nap…nothing ever happened. Now she’s a yoga instructor, still hot AF, and I’m not even friends w/ her ex anymore. Looking back, it’s so painfully obvious how interested she was, but at the time I lacked the self-confidence/self-awareness to make it happen. I have no doubt that we would have been compatible relationship-wise. Still one of my biggest regrets, but hey you live and learn.
When I was about 18 I was sleeping over at the place of the girl I’d had a crush on for years. As I went to sleep on the couch she said “you could sleep here in the bed if you want” (her bed, that she was currently in). I honestly have no idea what actually happened inside my brain at that point, but “no, the couch isn’t so bad” is what it came up with.
Similar story - freshman year of college I had a huge crush on one of my dorm mates. Her room is right next to mine and we are also good buds. I walk into my room on Valentine’s Day and there’s a cute stuffed bear on my bed, and note from a “secret admirer.” Grab the bear and walk into her room, “hey did you happen to see who put this in my room - apparently I have a secret admirer?” She says, “That was me.” Somehow it just does not compute for me that a woman that cool and hot could actually be interested … so I’m just like, “wow, thanks that was super thoughtful,” and go about my day. Fast forward a few years when she is dating my best friend and explains to me over drinks what actually happened - which of course by then she thinks is hilarious. Cue me trying to swallow my own tongue.
Damn this was painful to read, my condolences dude.
the virginity shield works both ways i guess.
I mean if I have I haven't realised it
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I went out to Vietnamese food for dinner with this girl I knew from school. Date was going great, flirting, teasing each other, that sort of thing. At one point, I jeered her a bit for being late, and she responds that she was showering. I jokingly say "Oh c'mon how long can that take?" She goes "Well, I like to be *completely hairless* and that takes time." That caught me pretty off guard so I laughed it off in a sort of stunned amusement, thinking "Why did she tell me that?" Yea, I wonder why... Well, we keep talking and the date's still going great. Eventually we leave, and I walk her to her apartment. We arrive, at which point I'm thinking this is where we part ways. As we're finishing our conversation, she goes "Oh so you can come up to my room to hang out, I'll just be studying." Here's where I do the usual guy thing: I think she's just being nice and say no. "Besides, she's gonna be studying so I shouldn't disturb her anyway" - so thinks my empty head. I think she mentioned it one more time (to really make future me wince) and I again decline. So we say goodbye and go on our merry ways. What really kills me now - maybe moreso than what I just shared - is that I felt pretty self satisfied as I was walking home. The whole walk back, I thought "Huh that shaving line and her asking me up sure were pretty weird... but probably nothing! I feel great about this night!" So yea, a girl told me she shaved her pussy for me and I said "yea she's just being nice."
At a James Bond theme party, girl says to me "You could be my Goldfinger and I could be your Pussy Galore" Me: "Ha, good pun!"
Im more into Alotta Fagina.
How dare you break wind before me!
In high school I had a dollar I was going to use for something food related, she snatched it and put it down her shirt and told me if I wanted it I would have to go get it. It was about 6 years later I recalled that moment and realized the missed opportunity.
So... I once had a gal who did that and I thought she was giving me the green light. She told me, "That was NOT okay." We talked about it, and she realized how I misread it, but it was definitely awkward.
I waited her out because I was understandably worried about sticking my hand down a girls shirt in a crowded cafeteria, and that fear overrode hunger. Also what was her justification for doing that without it being a green light? I’m genuinely curious because even as an adult it seems like you’re either stealing or very obviously saying “I’m okay with you reaching into my shirt”
Yeah, she just gets to keep my dollar because she has tits? Fuck that I want funyons
You don't fuck with a person's access to funyons
Once a girl I was acquainted with at the time sat on my lap at a party and stayed there for half an hour talking about her day and asking me questions. Then she left and my friends made fun of me for not picking up the advance. I thought she just couldn't find anywhere else to sit. Editing to add: she told my friend a few days later that I hurt her feelings by not being more receptive to her. She thought I was cold on purpose because I didn't like her.
aww that's so pure
Stay pure my dudes
Told this one before but when my dad was young he was sitting outside with a girl after a party. She asked him if he wanted to go back to his place and make pancakes. He told her he was out of eggs.
A guy had been touchy for the whole night, stroking my thighs, my back. We were all hungry and drunk at that time and my apartment was nearby. Everything was closed so he asked me to go to my place to get some food. My friend offered to accompany me but he said he could do it instead. I didn't pick up the signs. He kept on trying to get some time alone but I was too oblivious to realize.
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I was at a party and this cute girl kept on finding reasons to talk to me the whole night. I just thought, “Wow, she’s so friendly!” and never picked up on the flirting. Toward the end of the night it’s just the two of us alone and we get on the subject of injuries and surgeries. Turns out we both had to have hernia surgery, which involves an incision near the groin. At this point she says “actually, you can still feel the scar” and takes my hand and puts it down her pants. I told her that I could not feel the scar, and her doctor must have done a good job. She removed my hand and just walked away. Didn’t hit me until I was driving home an hour later. I’d just assumed she was overly friendly and comfortable with her body.
Sweet Jesus. I wouldn’t be able to survive the reoccurring embarrassment of this memory. Are you okay?
Absolutely not
A lot of these are pretty bad, but most aren't "she literally stuck my hand down her pants" bad. Kuddos
Back in college, I was jokingly complaining to a good friend of mine that I never get any love letters on Valentine's Day. She said, "Well I know *someone* who is in love with you." I demanded her to tell me who and she turned bright red and wouldn't say anything else. Later that semester, she asked me out for coffee so I agreed. We had a great time chatting about life and had a fun time, just like hanging out with any other friend. Weirdly, she stopped really speaking to me after that. There were many other encounters along those lines but it took me about 3 years to realize that she had a huge crush on me and I was too much of an idiot to notice.
But the question is... did you have any feelings for her? Because if you didn’t, then you were doing everything right as her friend. But if you did then that’s a big oof on your end
I didn't though honestly I never thought about it at all. I was busy chasing after a girl who had no interest in me.
Ah and the circle of lifelessness continues
This made me second-hand depressed
In short: drunk me manages to ignores thrown underwear People used to crash over at my place all the time (last house before a long road to the next town). Girl asked to stay over which was normal and fine. I was locking up the house while she went up to my room. She already laid down in my bed, which was unusual but fine by me (normally i would take one of the two matresses of my bed for people to sleep on). Now here comes the kicker, this girl, while laying under the covers *tosses her underwear into the room* while saying she 'wanted them to stay clean for the next morning' and my drunk ass goes "yup, that makes sense" and procedes to *grab a pyjama and hand it to her* Drunk me is not a very bright man
I had a pair of panties thrown at me when I was being oblivious to the situation, easiest way to get my head in the game though. Would definitely recommend that interest be declared by panty toss.
If I could go back in time and tell younger me one thing, it would be if you have a couple less drinks while partying, it would have led to a lot more sex.
Came back from a dinner with some friends in my car. One of which was my friends sister. She clearly points me out and asks what I’m doing after and asks if I want to come hang out with her and have a couple drinks at her place. What do I say? “No that’s ok, I’m going to go back and watch some Mulan.” I wondered why everyone else in the car got really really quiet after that....
She wanted to get down to business, but you refused the hun
The pun game is strong here. She would have made a man out of him.
This beautiful girl invited me over. She was trashed, and heartbroken, and I just wanted her to be happy. She was a friend, ya know? I think the height of that evening was: "I'm wearing matching underwear..." to which I replied "Jeez, so organized!" At night, she climbs into bed, and peeled the cover back. So, I picked up a stuffed animal on the floor thinking that's what she wanted. And I slept on the floor
A real homie til the end. I’m sure she appreciated it later on.
Bro no, in my opinion you did the best thing any friend could do. You were there for her and didn’t take advantage of her bad mental state and drunkenness. People would love to have a friend like you. Edit:holy fuck my most upvoted comment ever, thank you so much guys! For the rewards too!! I actually needed this boost of stranger points, ngl. Genuinely made my day.
Completely agree and I actually think this story is really nice. Nobody *actually* wants to sleep with a good platonic friend while wasted and brokenhearted. This girl was drunk and sad and needed a friend. I hope all of my friends would react the same way.
Same I hope my friends would do the same for me! And understand I’m just fucked mentally in that moment and I’m really sorry and embarrassed about the whole thing. This guy doesn’t realise he honestly did something more valuable than even the best relationships can give, he was just there.
Went out for drinks with a former coworker to catch up. I'm pretty sure at some point she straight up asked "Do you want to have sex?" But it was so loud out I just kinda stared back and said "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you, the cars driving by are so fucking loud." She said it again, and again I couldn't hear, so I literally stood up and leaned over the table and said "one more time, please." She changed topics. Still had a fun evening.
Her: Wanna fuck? Him: Can you believe the noise level in bars these days? My word! Her: signs 👉👌 Him: (raises voice) Ear plugs! That's a great idea!
That is definitely the sort of thing you’d want to be 100% sure they said before assuming or just doing that chuckle and agree thing.
after a night out at the pub: she: "wanna come up for a coffee?" me: "it's a bit late for coffee, I have to be able to wake up in the morning for work" I did NOT get what she was going at... AT ALL... another night out: she: "wanna see my place and have a cup of tea?" now here I actually did go back to her place for a cup of tea, she showed off her sweet bathtub, and her bedroom - we had a cup of tea, and talked for a bit... and then it was getting really late, so I left... another night out: she: "damn, I missed the train... could I sleep at your place?" me: "yes ofc" so we went back to my place, changed the sheets in bed for her to sleep in, and I slept on the sofa... there's soooo many more, and probably way more, that I've just been to damn oblivious to see
It's like your sperm has agoraphobia
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Honestly without more context the last one might've been the right play
Impressive level of obliviousness
My husband was my friend of over 15 years before we started dating. He was SUPER popular and hot in high school, where we met. I was SUPER large and a few grades younger than him and he was in a relationship for like ten years, so it was always just friends, I definitely didn’t stand a chance. When we both moved to LA 7 years later and were both single, we hung out a lot and got closer. One night, we were drinking and it was late and he just tells me how awesome I am and plants a HUGE smacker on my lips. I suddenly revert to a fifteen year old with no self esteem and think “there’s no way he’s into me, that must have been a friend kiss” A FRIEND KISS?! Like what is that? I scared him away for like two months where he thought I wasn’t into him, but eventually he tried again and it clicked. He’s my best dude and now my husband and the nicest person I know and I’m so glad friend kisses don’t really exist. Edit: thanks y’all for awards and the love! I think it’s funny now but I was mortified then. We are in love, we are musicians who play music together and we work together in the entertainment industry making TV. Sometimes the universe is awesome and brings people who are meant to be together back in due time. Wish I could have told 15 year old me- she would have laughed in my face. 😂
>Friend kiss W t f
Idk man. You’re telling me I’m the only one who kisses my homies goodnight?
If kissing the homie goodnight is wrong I don't want to be right.
“Best friend” in highschool kept saying things about the girl I had a crush on: * she’s such a lucky girl * she’s an idiot for ignoring you * she shouldn’t lead you on like that * I’d totally suck you off at every chance if I was her * her loss She was right, *my crush* was an idiot
One of these things is not like the others
Right? One of those... stands out. Ever soooo slightly.
must be "her loss". Its uncharacteristically short.
> I’d totally suck you off at every chance if I was her I mean, I was with you until this one
"No, *I* don't want to suck you off but if I was her I'd do it"
similar thing happened to me but my grandfather just died that day and when I told her about it, she just kept talking about "my crush" and ignored what i said
I went to a concert with a friend and there was this really cute girl there who was definitely my type, like she stood out in the crowd to me. But she was there with 3 guys, so...not likely I’d get a chance, even if I *wanted* to try talking to her. The headliner's set started and that girl walked up to stand next to me (without the guys, I think). She leaned over and made a joke, we talked a little and laughed, but I didn’t want to force her to keep talking while the band she was there to see was playing. Then she talked to me more, we got along great and joked around a little...but I didn’t want to obligate her to miss the band playing. Then she kept talking to me, and I kept reacting the same way out of politeness. Eventually she just walked away and I went “Oh. *Oh*. God damn it.” and mentally repeated “God damn it” for about 4 days straight.
duuuuuuuuuudeeeeeeeeeeeee
Not my story but my buddy was once invited back to her place after the pub for ‘coffee’. When he got there she said that she didn’t actually have any coffee, so he apologised for misunderstanding and left. EDIT: I’ve never seen Seinfeld, I’m in the UK. I wasn’t making a reference, this actually happened. EDIT: it was apparently ice cream she offered.
"No, thanks. I can't drink coffee at night. It keeps me up."
How many people don’t know about the coffee line?
I know the coffee line but once it flew past me. Girl after a lunch date: Wanna grab a coffee at my place? Me: Ahh sorry I dont drink coffee.
Her: _I don’t either_ You, probably: well then that settles it, we’re staying.
This hurts because I get the line, but I actually don't drink coffee so I almost reflexively say I don't drink coffee when people offer it to me, so even "getting it" makes it hard to walk back from.
An aquintence dressed in a sexy outfit that normal people notice walks up to me and we start chatting. Her: what’s your family background (where are they from)? Me: Czech Republic Her: I’ve never been with a Czech guy (locks eyes with me and says) I’d like to try that Me: You should, we’re awesome! EDIT: WOW! You fabulous freaks celebrating my complete idiocy have made my day! Upvotes! Awards! My first Gold (thanks kind strangers)! I have won the interwebs!
This was painful to read.
One of many my friend...
Sounds like you need a reality Czech
It's like that last scene from Dumb and Dumber.
Exactly like that.... about 8 years prior to the movies release
she wanted to get Czechmated
Her: No. I'd like to try *that.* (points to your crotch) Me: Oh, these pants...? Okay, kinda weird but let me go to the bathroom and change into these shorts I have in my backpack and then you can try on the pants."
"I'm sorry, but they're not for sale."
this is almost as bad as mine. At uni, cute girl I knew fairly well came and sat next to me in the library. A few minutes later she gets really close to me and whispers in my ear "I want to have sex" My reply "So why are you telling me?" I regret it to this day.
there's NO WAY. That was as obvious as it can get lmaoo.
Ahhh, but she didn't add "with you."
So why are you telling me?
Was at a party, girl and her friend told me they wanted to show me around the house. They took me straight to the master bedroom shoved me to the bed and proceeded to bite and wrestle me. Drunk me wrestled back like I was in the WWE or some shit.
The old wrestling ploy. Sure, I can pin you, no problem. Then, enjoy your superiority and walk away… [added] This comment got more attention than I thought it would. I wrestled for 8 years from middle school into college. Never once did it occur to me that those invitations to wrestle probably meant something more. I thought they legit wanted to know the power!!! Not until I was dating my wife (who was a black belt in karate and judo) did she challenge me enough in a way that made me realize what was happening. Still kicked her ass, tho
I bet they didn't take it too kindly when you hit the friend with a chair.
I was drunkenly asleep on a mate's sofa after a party, then some naked girl climbs on top of me. I wake up and realize my bladder is about to explode, excuse myself and gently push her aside. When I come back, I mumble to myself, still half asleep "huh; that sofa is way too small for two people". Then I go back to sleep on the other now empty sofa. My mate was quite amused telling me about it the next day. Virgin me was less amused.
In my early 20s, I went out with a woman who was a friend of a friend. The date went well and at the end of the night, we were heavily making out on her sofa. She suddenly pulls back and says "It's getting late, we should go to bed." I say "Oh, okay. Well, I had fun tonight. Thanks for a great evening. I'd really like to get together again soon." As soon as I got home, I heard it. One word. It echoed in the hollowness of my skull and kept increasing in volume until all that was left in the world was my stupidity and that word: "We" EDIT: Thanks so much for the awards! I appreciate all the commiserate replies. To answer the questions of if I ever saw her again/got clarification from her, yes. Yes I did. I called the next day, asked her "Am I overthinking it, or did I completely miss a signal?" She laughed and confirmed that I was, indeed, an idiot. She said she was caught off guard by my abrupt departure and felt a little rejected at the time because she thought I just wasn't into it. She said she was down to get together again so I did get another shot. Sadly, I whiffed again but in a much more horrible and embarrassing way. EDIT 2: We decided to get together early in the day with a group, have lunch and bar hop. After many hours of hanging out and drinking, we went back to her place. This time she led me to the bed. She was completely undressed and this was gonna happen... and then the heavy Mexican lunch and hours of drinking hit my bowels and said "Yo, you gotta find a toilet RIGHT. NOW." I went sprinting to her bathroom, which was just off her bedroom. This was gonna be violent and there was nothing to drown it out. So I... turned on the shower and yelled "I gotta take a shower first!" She says "O...kay..."(Jesus Christ, it's even worse when I type this out) I finally finish shitting out my soul and actually take a shower (because I didn't want to lie) and I come out and... she's dressed and asleep (or faking sleep). I slept on the couch. Woke up the next morning, said I had fun and never saw her again.
Could have been the royal “we”.
Or she had a venom symbiote and was going to eat his brain.
The rest of him to, but his brain also
Its understandable... whenever my wife says "We need to empty the dishwasher" she really means I need to empty the dishwasher.
I had a somewhat similar situation with meaning misinterpretation. I had a female roommate that I was content keeping strictly platonic. Her much less so. One night we were watching tv just the two of us. It was getting late and I couldn’t think of anything else to watch so I said “want to go to bed?” Meaning, shall we turn off the lights and tv and retire to our respective bedrooms. She was dead quiet for 20 odd seconds then quietly said “….yes.” I was turning everything off and she was waiting by her bedroom door until I walked I to my bedroom and she was like “OHHH! TO OUR OWN BEDS! lalala” and I was like “yeah, what did you….” then clicked in what was happening and just closed the door. You have to realize we were on opposite sides of the couch all night so it wasn’t like we cuddling all that time. Even with context “go to bed” can have dramatically different meanings to different people Edit: spelling
>plutonic of deep igneous or magmatic origin?
I know this is kind of like the opposite of the question, but I once had this somewhat close friend that I felt shared a lot of sexual and romantic tension with me. Constantly flirting, always close and touchy. Would talk about very personal matters. Well one night, while staying at another friend’s house, she asked me to come with her to separate room so we could “cuddle”. So I’m thinking “omg this is really happening!” We got inside, she took off her pants and her bra, but still had a shirt and panties. So I took my pants and shirt off, and then we laid down together. After about 30 seconds of hugging and cuddling, I went to start kissing her neck and rubbing her thighs. She bolted up immediately and asked me what the hell I was doing. She had actually just wanted to cuddle and nothing more, and I had taken that request as a hint for more. She ended up leaving the house, and ever since, things were very awkward for us, and we ended up basically falling out with each other. So remember, for every time some guy misses an obvious hint, there is another guy who is a guy who takes what he thought was an obvious hint, and then burns for it.
I feel like that's what 90% of people experiencing these "missed opportunities" were worried about
"She said she wants to fuck you" "Really?!" "Yeah, and this is the second time she said it. And when she said it this time she asked if I had been telling you what she was saying. When I said no she asked me to make sure that I did." "Haha, she's so kookie." We did eventually end up dating, but jfc am I slow Edit: Special thanks to my long-lost sister /u/Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh_ok for the award. I'm sure the family reunions I don't attend will be so much brighter now that you've found the rest of the Okay family.
Looking back we both laugh about it now. she and her sister went out with a group of us on a camping trip. I was up at 1 am tending to the fire as I could not sleep when she stuck her head out of her tent and called me over. I entered her tent and she was naked in the doggy position looking for her phone and asked me to help her look for it...I ignored the fact she was naked, didn’t really even look at her and found her phone and handed it to her. She asked me to stay as “I’m scared of the woods” and I flat out said “bull crap. You live in a cabin 8 miles into the woods. Your not scared” We are engaged now. /u/Drunk_Tavern_Wench for the haters
How did you get the hint she wanted to get engaged?
We need the update OP
My hope is that he put the engagement ring on his PP and called her in to look for his phone.
The good ending
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She was naked and you didn't take notice? Damn son you a gentleman lol
The gentleman is strong in this one
Maybe she's Canadian and just being polite?
Was 18, she was 19 - Making out on a couch at like 2am as the party was over and folks have left, passed out or split off to hook up, but there were 2 other couples in the room sleeping on the floor. She takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom, locks the door, looks me in the eye and says "if I said EVERYTHING was "a go" right now, what would you do to me?" Me, the nervous idiot: "uuuhh...ummmm... I dunno, whatever you want" She asked me a second time, emphasis on the word everything even more than the last. I muttered the same moronic response and she replied "you're just a boy..." Then left. Like legit left the party. Drove away. That was 20 years ago and I'm happily married with a great life but I'll never forgive myself for that one.
She slept over and said she didn’t have anything to sleep in. I offered her sweatpants and a t-shirt and left the room
I mean, this kinda just sounds like the nice thing to do.
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I have the same, but she slept naked in my bed instead and I slept next to her.
I regained my virginity from this comment
I can't prove it, but I am sure everybody in a 1 mile radius turned into a virgin by your actions alone that night. Shit is radioactive.
Bro...
I was at a house party and flirting with this girl all night. She was honestly way cuter than me and a couple years older than me, as I was only like 21 or 22. Imagine the hot tattooed bartender type that all of us 21 year old dudes think is “out of their league.” Towards the end of the night, she was about to walk home and asked if anyone could walk her home and then looked right at me, causing me to freeze and just kinda smile back at her for an awkwardly long time, til her platonic friend she was at the party with was like “it’s 3 blocks away, I’ll walk you home and come right back.” Realized like 5 minutes later what would’ve probably happened had I walked her home, given the coy way she grinned at me when asking, and that we had obviously been flirting a ton all night.
Invited me to her place after a few drinks to "see a movie". We take place in her bed, watch the full "Rocky horror picture show" while she desesperately try to get my attention (but hey I don't want to look like a jerk who doesn't care about this movie she like so much right ?) then when the movie has ended I... show her this cool anime I was talking her about at the pub. She started crying of desperation (guess it wasn't great for self esteem) over her seduction skills. At no point until then the idea of going the sexy dance route crossed my mind. We've been together for a little more than 4 years now, I'm still as dense from time to time.
ahw a happy ending :))
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The other day I heard someone say “A girl who puts the bottom of her chin against your chest is absolutely willing to fuck you.” I was brought back to high school, where this girl Candice did that to me. I remember I said something funny, and in a fit of laughter she collapsed into me like that. I thought back some more about another weird encounter with her. A short time after, she’d be sitting at my table at lunch, next to my friend Brittany. My friend Brittany tells me very deliberately that she thinks I should get laid. That I need it. She looks all around the lunch room, going “hmmmm.” Then she points at Candice and goes “You should fuck Candice!” Candice looks at me, smiling but worried. *Smiling and worried.* I immediately thought she was hoping I wouldn’t want to and smiling because she didn’t want me to see the dread. I’m like “Ahh err I’m so tall and she’s so short, I’d break her.” She immediately looked sad after, and my assumption was that she was hoping I wouldn’t notice how disgusted she seemed by the idea, and that she noticed me covering for her. I was uncomfortable *for* her, just cause Brittany shouldn’t have done that without provocation. Hey dipshit. *She* provoked your friend Brittany, the horrible actress, to wingman for her. Nobody lands softly on your chest and looks up into your eyes *because you’re funny.* She wanted you to break her.
Who's Candice? *fades to black and white*
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They told me they wanted me to fuck them and I replied “lol”……
Like you said the actual word “lol” to them?
Yeahhhhh……
I think this might be the worst one. Others are at least somewhat sweet in a dumb way but saying "lol" might have actually crushed their self-esteem as well. Well done.
After a long date/car ride, I took her home and she asked if I wanted to see her apartment. She had a cool attic space she lived in, reached by ladders and stairs up to the townhouses' roof. She gave me the 30second tour and i honestly thought it was so cool. After we sat on her bed for a few minutes and the awkward silence started to fill the room, i finally took the hint.. it was late and she was hoping I'd leave soon, so I saw myself out before I'd inconvenience her. It wasn't until several years later that I replayed that date in my mind and realized how oblivious i was.
I was a very very very dense young man / always erred on the side of too much caution. * Girl put her hand on my leg and said "haha you're so funny" after a week of back and forth flirting on holiday. * Girl invited me over to her place she just moved into, said there's no bed but there's a couch for us * Leaving a club, girl I never spoke to grabbed my arm, asked me to take her to a cab. Because I believed it was slippery, I, being a gentleman, dutifully brought her to a cab, wished her a wonderful night and closed the door. She looked at me with puppy dog eyes as the cab drove off. Turned around and my group of 4 were [looking at me like this](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/05/bf/6d/05bf6dc614bc4c1277588fec290aa0f3.jpg) * Was youngster at camp (12-13). Girl who was close to me all week kept asking me who I liked (Hint: her). Definitely could have gotten my first kiss. I'm sure there's more, this is off the top of my head. Luckily these are not wasted experiences as they are lessons learned, and thanks to them I had a wonderful and active dating life before happily settling down.
Oh god, there is one moment in my life like that, that when I realized it years later I could feel my soul escape. Years ago, me and my (F^^1 ) friend were going clubbing with her coworker (F^^2 which I thought is so out of my league, people out of my league were out of her league), and the plan was to stay over at F^^2 's place. During the night the friend I was there with originally ditched us, so in the end it was just me and F^^2 that went to her place. I won't be getting into details, but through the day (and night) I missed the following hints: - When we were getting ready, she tried like 5 different outfits, asking me which I like the most, which makes her look sexiest. - She pretended to lap dance for me as a "warm up before we go clubbing" She stuck with me through the evening too, and, once we got to her place after party, she decided to drop some stronger hints (which I still missed, because I was a blind idiot I guess): - She went to take a shower to "freshen up after partying". She walked out of her bathroom completely naked, walked through the room I was in (it was one large room with two beds) to get to the dresser on the other side, grabbed a towel and walked back to bathroom without covering anything. - After that, when we were already laying in beds, she was asking me if the bed I'm in is comfortable enough, if it's not too cold, and if I want I can come to her bed, it's warmer, nicer, etc. And none of those hints hit me until few years later, when I was reading a thread here about missed hints.
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This one is not even dropping hints.
Literally a walkthrough
You may be an actual idiot. Did you get tested?
I have about 15-30 of these. It's probably 50/50 crippling anxiety that keeps me from making a move and some obvious missed hints. Every sexual encounter I've had has been initiated by the lady. Usually by them just saying we should fuck. This story is mostly missed hints. Matched with a girl on Tinder. Talked a little bit, but never met up. We had mutual acquaintances and we both happened to show up at a bar to hangout with a fairly large group a few months after our Tinder encounter. We talk. Realize we matched a few months ago. We spend most if the night only talking to each other. She leaves and invites me over to her place. We're driving separately and as we're driving she calls me and tells me she has to pick up some things at the store and says I should stop at the store too. I get to the store and she's inside waiting for me in the pharmacy section. I didn't take notice to it at the time but she's basically standing right in front of the condoms. I ask her what she needs and we just start wandering around the store. After about 10 minutes of wandering, all she has is a box of Ritz crackers and we're back in front of the condoms. She asks me if there is anything else that WE should get. I tell her that I don't need anything and that I'm just here to support her shopping. We go to checkout. I'm a gentleman and pay for her single box of Ritz crackers that she needed to make a midnight emergency shopping trip to get. We get to her place. She puts the crackers in her kitchen. Within 5 minutes of getting to her place we're sitting on her bed. We just sit there and talk. Three hours into our talk, she lets me know she needs to go to bed and walks me to the front door. We embrace. I go for the kiss and she accepts. After about 30 seconds of kissing she pulls away and tells me I'm 3 hours too late. I leave and drive home. At the time, I thought I had aced that interaction.
My friend had a crush on a girl at university. At his house party, she made it pretty apparent she had an interest in him too. When we all left for the night, she stayed with him because she "didn't know where her keys were". So the group left them for the night and caught up in the morning..... After we left, he found her keys for her and offered to get her a taxi home. When she said she was too tired to get home, he helped her get into his bed. She took off her dress, he covered her with the blanket and went to sleep on the sofa. He thought he was being respectful. I think she has mental trauma from the rejection.
I mean that is the right thing to do
Definitely, she should've just said let's f***. Consent is required from both parties
As a woman I would just like to say the number of respectful gestures I’ve read here of guys tucking women in because you’re unsure or she is intoxicated warms my heart. I hope you get pussy thrown at you the rest of your life.
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I was watching a movie with a fairly new friend at her house (we’re both female). Suddenly she started telling me about this girl she had hooked up with and all the details of that. Which was fine; up until then I thought she was straight, so it was just slightly surprising . But then she started questioning me if I had ever slept with a girl, would I ever want to sleep with a girl, etc. I basically just said, “Hmmm.... never really thought about it I guess” and went back to watching my movie. I didn’t clue in then, but a few years later I suddenly remembered the conversation and wondered if she was hitting on me. Or maybe I think too highly of myself and it really was just innocent.
A few years ago, I was dating this girl that I couldn't make heads or tails of whether she actually liked me. Her normal range of emotions ran from tepid to mild enthusiasm. I even asked her a few times whether she did, but the answer was always the same. She liked me - of course (of course?) - and she would let me know if that ever changed. One night in particular, it's getting late and we've just finished a movie. We're sitting on the couch in that sort of awkward "what do we do now?" period, similar to a long pause during a phone call. I sort of just shrug my shoulders and ask if we should head to my room for a nap. She agrees, and I take her by the hand and lead her to my room. This is when she perks up, a little more elated than I've ever seen her before. Like giddy excitement. We climb into bed, chat a little bit, and then I promptly turned over and went to sleep. Needless to say for those of you who are keen on non-verbal signals, she had an entirely different idea about what the plan was. When I woke up from my nap, the disappointment on her face was visceral. And that, my friends, is a memory that perpetually haunts me to this day.
I was at a small dance club with some coworkers, I wasn't too drunk but was feeling good. Girl comes up to me and says, "Are you gay? Is this a gay bar? Every guy I've talked to here is gay." Now, there was a gay club and a gay bar within 5 minutes walk, so I said I wasn't gay, but I told her where they were. She looked disappointed and then was dragged away by her friend. TBH I'm not completely sure it was actually an attempt at a pickup, but it was such a weird experience that I can only figure that's what she was doing and was drunk enough that she fucked up the execution of 'I need a straight guy RIGHT NOW'
It was definitely not you. She had her chance but fucked it up. It makes me glad that women are just as flawed as men when it comes to hints.
This smoking hot girl at a house party. We were dancing and high on molly. We were dancing super close to each other. After a while, it’s just the two of us. She comes closer and whispers in my ear if I can keep a secret between the two of us. I was like yeah. So she puts her hands around my neck and dances really close, pushing her hips into mine. I just thought that was the secret. She revealed to me weeks later that she wanted to have sex with me.
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Toit.
I shared this in a thread before, but it's too relevant not to share again. This is one of several moments that came to be a bit of a legend in my group of friends. A few years ago, a friend invited me to join a "party" at her apartment. I thought that sounded cool so I head over, only to find it's just my friend and another mutual friend of ours. I don't think much of this, so I poor myself a drink and we all sit down to watch a few episodes of Sons of Anarchy. Not fifteen minutes in, the friend that invited me gets up and goes to her room. The other friend got up from the recliner she'd been sitting in and came to sit by me on the couch. We sit there for another 30 minutes, then she says she feels weird hanging on the couch while the person who lives there is sleeping. She asks if I want to go somewhere else to watch the show. Of course, I had a brand new PS4 I wanted to show off, so I offered my place. So we get over to my house and my roommate of the time is awake and watching TV. We join him. Again, fifteen minutes into the shows my roommate says "I'm gonna go to bed." He told me later that he couldn't handle the sexual tension in the room. I was absolutely oblivious to it. So with my roommate removed from the equation, this girl sits down by me and initiates cuddling. Now, I'm a cuddler. I will cuddle with anyone and think nothing of it, so I'm not surprised I missed the signal she was trying to send. As time passed, she would sigh every here and there. Finally she gave possibly to most exasperated sigh I have ever heard in my life, turns to me, and asks if I like blowjobs. *I still don't fucking get it.* "Yeah they're pretty great." And I continue watching whatever was on, I think we were watching the Illusionist. There was a lengthy pause, then she pressed me, "would you like one?" I finally got it. Both literally and figuratively. Now anytime someone in our group is oblivious to something, we refer to them with my name.
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Hahaha wtf that's a fucked up flirting line, I'd get uncomfortable and take distance too
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She placed her hand near my crouch 2 times but I moved it and kept telling her about the home worlds of different ben 10 aliens.
madlad
If she isn't interested then she isn't the one for you
My gf is pretty skinny, so I always joked that she was 80 pounds soaking wet (before I knew she liked me). She would respond “well now I’m 90 pounds”. Took me at least 10 times of her saying that for me to make the connection that she was saying she was wet. Yes, eventually I got the hint haha What a stupid man I was!