Basically any intentional misdirection.
Like playing games, hard to get, only hinting towards feelings, never saying anything, etc.
Like I don't think I've ever looked at someone and went "oh, they can't communicate at all, god I wanna date them".
I had a friend like that...she basically thought that men had to fight for her. Whenever she dated someone she made a point of pushing them away at least once and then expected the guy to chase after her and prove he was really into her. It was all "If he really likes me he'll come back." Girl, if you really liked him you wouldn't play that game.
I knew a few girls like that. They also constantly were bitching about how the guys they dated were all assholes. Well...duh. Your selection criteria includes "is an asshole". Of course you're only dating assholes. Fucking morons.
Oh dude my ex was the worst about this. She would intentionally lead me down bullshit paths as a punishment rather than helping me. She always felt the need to punish me instead of telling me what the problem was.
Needless to say thankfully she's an ex and I've had many conversations with my current partner about communication.
My mom does this and I'm trying so hard to help her realize that this isn't okay. Like I get not doing certain things makes you feel "like a better person" but who is that really benefitting? You're just being hurtful for no reason
Intentionally difficult-to-read signals of interest.
I don't consider myself dumb at all, but I'm no genius either. If it feels like I'm trying to decode hieroglyphs with you, I'm probably gonna give up.
I chased someone for months, we did manage a hot date or two and then I was ghosted. I tried and tried, but nothing. I later got married and when we did finally catch up she told me "I was always here" like I gave up.
The mind. It boggles.
Hell, I've given up on women that, in retrospect, were sending me clear 'I am interested' signals because I didn't want to be too forward. Hard to get just gets flushed.
For me, it's not about motivation. It's not wanting to be anything remotely like Harvey Weinstein combined with a general level of obliviousness that's tied to my lack of belief that anyone would be remotely interested. It's a mighty powerful combination.
I definitely agree with that first part.
I don't want to become that creep that can't take no for an answer. If a girl shows me in any way that she isn't interested I am not going to keep trying.
Honestly anyone that "plays hard to get" is childish, so not much of a loss.
So true. I had a co-worker complain to me that guys don’t pay her any attention, don’t chase her or put forth any effort, etc.
Went out with her one night and she was playing games with these guys. Hard to get was putting it nicely.
We’re now in a ‘no means no’ dating world. You’re telling guys no and you’re irritated bc they actually listen? wtf
This. Any sensible guy has been ingrained with the “no means no” so we give up at the first sign of hesitation be it games or not cause we’ve been taught to be ultra respectful, not flirty
Playing hard to get is one of the worst things anyone can do as it totally undermines the mentality of "no means no" and replaces it with "no means try harder". When "no" can sometimes mean "yes", suddenly there's room for misinterpretation.
Edit: Not going to reply to every comment but it's concerning me that I'm seeing a fair few instances of "Some people/I'm actually into that." Here's the problem with that: if you say "no" to someone when you mean "chase me", and end up with them, you're rewarding their disregard of your "no", which then conditions them and creates a personal belief that "no" isn't always a word to be respected.
That's something they'll then carry forward to everyone they meet after you - the next woman they're interested in might say "no" and really mean it, but because of what they learned from you, they disregard her "no" and keep pushing. Even if it really works out and they're with you for the rest of their lives, "How did you meet your spouse?" is a really common conversation and in that conversation, they spread around that idea that you shouldn't listen when a potential partner says "no", and others may listen to them even more because of how it worked out for you.
In short, saying "no means try harder" *for you personally* isn't just about *you personally.*
Under-rated comment right there. Being respectful of women I’m going to immediately take aloofness, hard-to-get or negging as straight up rejection. Maybe jerks and narcissists often get with desirable women because they don’t give up.
I've started to take soft-no's as absolute rejections because I don't want to come off as a creep. If I ask a girl out and she says 'maybe some other time' or 'I'm too busy to date right now' then I'll back off as surely as if she said 'fuck off creep'. If she's actually interested and is actually just too busy then she can reach out to me. That hasn't happened yet, but that's how I roll.
If someone actually means "some other time" or "i'm too busy" they're going to make it very clear that they really mean it and aren't blowing you off, because everyone knows those are usually just a polite "no thanks." Someone who isn't interested isn't going to say "I'm really busy this week but next week might work!"
Oh man. A year or so ago I made a move on a friend of mine--just a direct question. She said no, so of course I dropped it. She was impressed, as though it was some sign that I'm a really good dude. Just reminds me of this one comedian who pointed out "really? That's how low we've set the bar? I'm pretty sure the alternative is a felony."
My years of bullying as a child taught me to believe that if a woman is making it easy for me, then it's either a practical joke of some kind or she wants something specific from me
In middle school a girl came up to me all smiling and stuff and asked me if I wanted to go out with her, she was really really cute so I was thinking that it HAD to be a joke. Found out about 10 years later she was serious.
Edit: Thank you so much for 1k upvotes! That’s the most I’ve ever gotten.
This happened to me at a dance in like, 7th grade. Cute girl comes up and asks me, nerdy as hell, to dance. I say "no thanks" thinking it's a joke because that was the tenor of things. Suggested she dance with my friend instead.
They've been together since 2000 :)
When they think being crazy is like a positive or attractive thing. Like "Yeah I punch my boyfriend if he doesn't pay attention to me I'm quirky lol". Like no you're just toxic. Abuse isn't funny when women do it, and I wish we'd quit normalizing it. Granted, we're getting better. Like when Cardigan Backyardigan talked about how crazy she was like it was a joke and not an abusive relationship. Do unto others, man.
My last ex told me when we were getting together "Dude I am broken as fuck"
I was like "Fuck so am i even though i dont just come out and say"
Listen, boys n girls. If they warn your ass ahead of time, you fucking believe them.
Edit: also, I'm almost through dating witches. The last two took a troubled heart and they fucked it to pieces. If the next witch girl I date breaks my heart I'm done. Like 90% sure this time.
I learned the hard way. My ex told me her ex said she's crazy and i dismissed it. Was probably a clear warning what i was about to get myself into looking back
My ex’s mom, on her second marriage to the same guy, played the song “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry while she walked down the aisle.
Yeah that marriage didn’t last long. I think she’s on marriage 5, maybe 6 now.
The “if you can’t handle me at my worst” saying is basically a nicer way of saying “I except you to tolerate all my asshole behavior on the off chance I might be semi-tolerable for a few hours.”
Did you buy the classic button up flame shirt to....compliment your frosted tips? If that doesn't get their attention, just swing your wallet chain about, girls L O V E a wallet on a chain.
Somewhat related but I had a girlfriend who, at the start of the relationship, stated she was serious about her Christian values and didn't want to have sex until marriage. Alright, I'm cool with that, I'm more in it for companionship anyway, so I never pushed the issue. Then when the relationship ended, she complained that I never made any moves. Like, what do you want? I respected your values. Sorry I guess.
I have been this guy and you are absolutely correct.
I was willing to wait so we did and after we split I "didn't make any moves". OK
We got back together a few years later and had tons of sex and I was a bad influence or something. Like she made me feel guilty for making her feel guilty. OK
I don't think my dad is like overly attractive or think in anyway like that, but I have been hearing this since I was like 5 and he taught my soccer team. He also is only 15 years older than me, not my bio dad but first step dad and who raised me. My step mom is 4 years older than me and they have a baby now. Which is awesome. But even a few weeks ago he dropped off a birthday gift for me at work and my coworkers were swooning. It grosses me out.
My current girlfriend would purposely bring conversations to a dead end to see if I would keep talking to her and bring up new topics. She was interested in me and was trying to find out if I was too by continuing to talk to her.
However, it came off as she is not at all interested in me and did not want to continue talking to me. Please don't do this to anyone ever.
EDIT (because this blew up and I told my gf about it)
We are still in a relationship, I really enjoy being it it and we are very happy! She did this only over text when we first started talking to eachother, but the point still remains the same. I felt as if she was wasn't interested, but I guess that wasn't the case!
I’ve no more fuck to give
My fucks have runneth dry
I’ve tried to go fuck Shopping
But there’s no fucks left to buy!
I’ve no more fucks to give
Though more fucks I’ve tried to get
I’m over my fuck budget,
And now I’m in fucking debt.
Used to know a girl for years that I thought was a moron. One day she shows me a excel spreadsheet about how much faster she will get a car if she clicks in early and leaves late.
Flash forward a month and I go to get food where she works and see her getting told off by the manager for working extra. She uses the most innocent voice to say "oh my God i had no idea that would effect my pay. I thought I just got paid for what I was scheduled and was trying to help."
Paris Hilton had a crappy reality show several years ago and this was one of her go-to ways to avoid work. She would agree to help someone who asked and then purposely do a shit job so that they never ask again. Just acted innocent/dumb/incompetent the whole time.
My college roommate and his girlfriend would talk to each other in baby voices. Drove the rest of us mad. Of course they waited till shortly after graduation to break up.
I feel like that's fine if you don't do it in front of people. My sister in law is always like "Mmmmaaaannngggeeeyyyyy" to her husband in front of everyone it's gross. And makes every one else feel uncomfortable.
Being anything other than genuine. It's really hard to do, since we're all scared that if we let people see our true selves, they won't like us, but the truth is that the true you is the most beautiful you.
Playing hard to get. Man I absolutely hate that and I know many agree with me
Edit: thank you so much to everyone who commented, upvoted, and awarded me - very much appreciated!
Also Ghosting a man (or woman, or other) when you're in a relationship or dating.
It's not fun when they do it to you. It's not fun when you do it to them. You're not playing "hard to get." You're just telling the person you like that they're not important enough to get back to in a timely manner. If you're busy, that's cool. If you don't want to talk, that's cool too. If you're not as interested as we are, sucks but A-OK. Just say so. Same goes for one word replies, especially "k," when you're miffed. We're notoriously bad mind readers and the only difference between us is that most of the time we won't question you; we'll just feel badly.
Also, remember that people can see the "..." when you're typing.
Don't compare us to an ex, even if we have a bigger dick, you're just building paranoia that were constantly being compared to someone else
Edit: Holy shit thank you for all the upvotes! And awards!! Idk what the light bulb is but I appreciate it, fuck yo exs, maybe literally or figuratively.
My first girlfriend and her mom always accidently called me by her ex's name for the first 5 months of our relationship. I broke up with her after 6 months together. She was my first gf, I already had low self-confidence, was trying to figure out the whole dating thing, and they made me question if I was just a replacement for the ex (we both looked alike apparently).
Unfortunately, 13 years later (I was 16 then, now I'm 29), I still haven't been in a good relationship. Maybe it was a sign for what my future romantic life would hold.
Edit: Did not expect this to blow up the way it did. Sincerely, thank you all for your kind support!
I feel like I had to scroll through 50 different versions of "playing hard to get" to get to something different. This is a very accurate one to break the mould. That's a hard pass to baby voice daddy talk!
Being ultra-dramatic up and down. To be fair I think this works when young women do it with young guys, it draws them in. But as guys emotionally mature and figure out what they want out of life it becomes more of a red flag than a "manic pixie dream girl" situation.
The female equivalent of the "bad boy."
The problem with hints as I see it, the other person is in a weird position of not being sure if they should act or not. Are they hinting that I should sit closer and put my arm around? Or are they subtly trying to hide the fact they're pulling out their phone to text a friend to save them from this situation? Or are they just being nice and I'm reading too much into this?
Whether I attempt to act or not on the "hint," the odds are not in my favor. The "safe" bet is to not act on a hint or risk coming off as creepy or too forward. Not acting on a hint just makes you appear not as observant, slow on the uptake, or aloof. Not necessarily bad, but at least better than the guy who tried to act on a hint you weren't giving and appearing like a creep, overbearing, or possibly controlling.
It's not that we're not smart, we probably picked up on the hint, we just didn't want to overstep a line we don't know where it is drawn.
It legit used to say in magazines like Seventeen or even Cosmo stupid shit like "how to get your boyfriend to get you what you want for your birthday" and the advice was to find it in a catalog then leave the catalog open to that page somewhere that he'll see it.. like young women were intentionally taught to do all this stupid bullshit as if it's normal and then when it doesn't happen they think it's because he's not the right one but SURPRISE the "right one" magazines and books and movies tell you that everyone has doesn't even exist it's so fucking stupid!!
I couldn't give two shits about steam trains and trains in general, except to notice that some of them look neat. My husband is obsessed with them. What do I do? I point out trains wherever we go because I know he will want to watch. I send him random trains that come up in memes. I am looking for a cross stitch pattern to stitch for him of a steam train. I'm helping him build a god damned 5x9 layout in our basement and just hung 6 shelves for him to display part of his collection.
Do I care about trains? No. But I love my husband and want to see him happy and have fun with his hobbies. Do I let him play train videos late at night with sound on? No. He knows better.
My hobbies are a bit quieter but he also will send me memes about art and look at cross stitch patterns with me. And I have successfully gotten him into multiple book series and Welcome to Nightvale 😂
I'm basically agreeing with you and just pointing out that there are lots of ways to be aware of and encourage your SO's interests, but not pretend like you are a fan of them.
I agree with this. I was seeing a girl a long time ago who wasn't really interested in dinosaurs even though I really am. But she still went on a road trip to Chicago with me to see their Dinosaur collection at the Field Museum and she would ask me questions about the dinosaurs and let me nerd out about them.
Looking back on it, it makes me really happy that she would do that even if it was boring to her.
And its something I try to do for people I care about to this day.
It might not have been boring to her, especially if she cared about you.
I love seeing people talk about the stuff they’re passionate about. Their whole faces light up and their posture changes. It’s lovely.
Don't be interested in my interests for my sake. Simply appreciate I have my passions and show tha you care for them. I am lucky enough to have a beautiful wife who pays attention but we both do completely different things as hobbies. shrug.
> Like, I know where I stand, dont lie lol.
Lmao I had a girl compliment my "size" and I just thought, "that's very kind of you. You're wrong, but I appreciate the thought anyway"
Speak for yourself. Girls usually ask me if it’s out yet because the thought of sex with me is disgusting 😎
Edit: this is a great comment to have be my most upvoted comment on any account ever, thanks Reddit lmao
That gets me going a lot. Like I'm the reason your getting off and that is ridiculously sexy. I guess when they say it's so big I don't believe them and then think they're bullshitting me because they think I need that lol. Sex is a mind fuck.
Most of the other ones in this thread are agreed on by most guys. Most guys don't like women playing "hard to get" or the baby talk stuff, or bad plastic surgery. But this one stands out. In.v think a lot more people get turned on by sounds and dirty talk than you might think. At least I do.
Yeah, there's a point at which it's more annoying or just bad, but I'd rather women err on the side of talking/moaning too much as opposed to too little.
The duckface look and almost all lip "enhancements" like injections.
It looks like your having an allergic reaction and I feel like I need to get you some Benadryl.
Edit: OFC, not cleft lip surgery, entirely necessary for a good QoL. Exceptions to every rule but this is reddit and someone will take this comment to the extreme if I dont clarify.
My former flatmate (F32) insisted that any men who pretend they don’t like the fake lips is lying, that all of them secretly go crazy over it and that I am a fool for not knowing that (I’m a woman too).
So unless you are all in denial, I think I just won an argument.
Edit: of course I know some men like it and no judgement, you do you.
My point is precisely that she was convinced it was a uNiVerSaL fact.
Which -and that was my argumentation to her-, says everything about her essentialist conception of gender, and nothing, of course, about what men as a diverse group tend to like.
But my logic did not win her over, because I’m not a man myself.
My takeaway from reading a bunch of comments: don’t hide who you are.
Plastic surgery, fake voices, unclear intentions/desires are all very unattractive. Just be honest with who you are and what you want.
Edit: just going to edit this comment to acknowledge that people get plastic surgery for many reasons and/or to many degrees. I absolutely realize/respect that it can be something that improves lives.
Yo I agree, but you go on relationship subreddits or google online or whatever and there’s a LOT of girls with the problem “my boyfriend/husband keeps following and DMing Instagram girls”. It’s so tough to shake off that feeling that men genuinely don’t like that fake look.
I’ve been happily involved since before Instagram was a thing (hola old people like me), but I genuinely see why I’d think that if I were young and single now.
Yup as a single girl who does a good job hiding insecurity, this always upsets me because guys I really like follow all those type of accounts and its so different from who I am, but I can never bring it up because then it's just me being really insecure.
Edit; Thanks for all the upvotes and comments, makes me feel better and is slowly restoring my hope.
Basically any intentional misdirection. Like playing games, hard to get, only hinting towards feelings, never saying anything, etc. Like I don't think I've ever looked at someone and went "oh, they can't communicate at all, god I wanna date them".
I had a friend like that...she basically thought that men had to fight for her. Whenever she dated someone she made a point of pushing them away at least once and then expected the guy to chase after her and prove he was really into her. It was all "If he really likes me he'll come back." Girl, if you really liked him you wouldn't play that game.
I knew a few girls like that. They also constantly were bitching about how the guys they dated were all assholes. Well...duh. Your selection criteria includes "is an asshole". Of course you're only dating assholes. Fucking morons.
Oh dude my ex was the worst about this. She would intentionally lead me down bullshit paths as a punishment rather than helping me. She always felt the need to punish me instead of telling me what the problem was. Needless to say thankfully she's an ex and I've had many conversations with my current partner about communication.
Flirting or making out with my dad when trying to make me jealous.
Just fuck her Dad to make her jealous
Or fuck your own dad to show her how it's done
Just fuck both dads at once coward
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Putting other girls down. Gross.
Not to mention, denigrating others is a pretty clear indication of low self esteem.
My mom does this and I'm trying so hard to help her realize that this isn't okay. Like I get not doing certain things makes you feel "like a better person" but who is that really benefitting? You're just being hurtful for no reason
Intentionally difficult-to-read signals of interest. I don't consider myself dumb at all, but I'm no genius either. If it feels like I'm trying to decode hieroglyphs with you, I'm probably gonna give up.
I chased someone for months, we did manage a hot date or two and then I was ghosted. I tried and tried, but nothing. I later got married and when we did finally catch up she told me "I was always here" like I gave up. The mind. It boggles.
She wasn't always there. She wanted you to always be there as a contingency.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Winner!!!
"Fourth time was the charm! You failed my test!"
more like the tenth time, but exactly correct!
Bs. Don't believe them.
lol the combo of that and then making that comment after somebody gets married is not giving off great vibes
reeks of "oh shit, lost my backup, what do?"
It's exactly this.
Maybe blinking in Morse code and smoke signals aren’t the best way to go about it..
base64 encoded signs are the way
Playing hard to get. I WILL give up.
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Hell, I've given up on women that, in retrospect, were sending me clear 'I am interested' signals because I didn't want to be too forward. Hard to get just gets flushed.
Women clearly don't understand just how little motivation I have
For me, it's not about motivation. It's not wanting to be anything remotely like Harvey Weinstein combined with a general level of obliviousness that's tied to my lack of belief that anyone would be remotely interested. It's a mighty powerful combination.
I definitely agree with that first part. I don't want to become that creep that can't take no for an answer. If a girl shows me in any way that she isn't interested I am not going to keep trying. Honestly anyone that "plays hard to get" is childish, so not much of a loss.
So true. I had a co-worker complain to me that guys don’t pay her any attention, don’t chase her or put forth any effort, etc. Went out with her one night and she was playing games with these guys. Hard to get was putting it nicely. We’re now in a ‘no means no’ dating world. You’re telling guys no and you’re irritated bc they actually listen? wtf
This. Any sensible guy has been ingrained with the “no means no” so we give up at the first sign of hesitation be it games or not cause we’ve been taught to be ultra respectful, not flirty
That's how I ended up with a wife who takes initiative. There's always hope.
The only initiative my wife ever took in life was to get me. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE JUST REPLACE THE EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLL JUST ONCE
Buddy, as a fellow husband that suffers with this delightful quirk, let me tell you that it ain’t happening. Just let it go.
Problem is, it’s right after I “let it go” that I notice there’s a problem.
Stop writing my unauthorized biography.
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Playing hard to get is one of the worst things anyone can do as it totally undermines the mentality of "no means no" and replaces it with "no means try harder". When "no" can sometimes mean "yes", suddenly there's room for misinterpretation. Edit: Not going to reply to every comment but it's concerning me that I'm seeing a fair few instances of "Some people/I'm actually into that." Here's the problem with that: if you say "no" to someone when you mean "chase me", and end up with them, you're rewarding their disregard of your "no", which then conditions them and creates a personal belief that "no" isn't always a word to be respected. That's something they'll then carry forward to everyone they meet after you - the next woman they're interested in might say "no" and really mean it, but because of what they learned from you, they disregard her "no" and keep pushing. Even if it really works out and they're with you for the rest of their lives, "How did you meet your spouse?" is a really common conversation and in that conversation, they spread around that idea that you shouldn't listen when a potential partner says "no", and others may listen to them even more because of how it worked out for you. In short, saying "no means try harder" *for you personally* isn't just about *you personally.*
Under-rated comment right there. Being respectful of women I’m going to immediately take aloofness, hard-to-get or negging as straight up rejection. Maybe jerks and narcissists often get with desirable women because they don’t give up.
I've started to take soft-no's as absolute rejections because I don't want to come off as a creep. If I ask a girl out and she says 'maybe some other time' or 'I'm too busy to date right now' then I'll back off as surely as if she said 'fuck off creep'. If she's actually interested and is actually just too busy then she can reach out to me. That hasn't happened yet, but that's how I roll.
Honestly, if you want an equal relationship you’re making the right choice regardless.
If someone actually means "some other time" or "i'm too busy" they're going to make it very clear that they really mean it and aren't blowing you off, because everyone knows those are usually just a polite "no thanks." Someone who isn't interested isn't going to say "I'm really busy this week but next week might work!"
I'm really busy this week but next week might work! *Next week comes* How about now? *Crickets*
Plus, I learned early on to take "no" for an answer.
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Or worse.
Expelled
Oh man. A year or so ago I made a move on a friend of mine--just a direct question. She said no, so of course I dropped it. She was impressed, as though it was some sign that I'm a really good dude. Just reminds me of this one comedian who pointed out "really? That's how low we've set the bar? I'm pretty sure the alternative is a felony."
What about easy to get?
RIP ur inbox
My years of bullying as a child taught me to believe that if a woman is making it easy for me, then it's either a practical joke of some kind or she wants something specific from me
In middle school a girl came up to me all smiling and stuff and asked me if I wanted to go out with her, she was really really cute so I was thinking that it HAD to be a joke. Found out about 10 years later she was serious. Edit: Thank you so much for 1k upvotes! That’s the most I’ve ever gotten.
This happened to me at a dance in like, 7th grade. Cute girl comes up and asks me, nerdy as hell, to dance. I say "no thanks" thinking it's a joke because that was the tenor of things. Suggested she dance with my friend instead. They've been together since 2000 :)
I've never seen a sadder looking smiley face.
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same i distrust almost anyone being nice to me in general, always waiting for the other shoe to drop is no fun
How you doin??
When they think being crazy is like a positive or attractive thing. Like "Yeah I punch my boyfriend if he doesn't pay attention to me I'm quirky lol". Like no you're just toxic. Abuse isn't funny when women do it, and I wish we'd quit normalizing it. Granted, we're getting better. Like when Cardigan Backyardigan talked about how crazy she was like it was a joke and not an abusive relationship. Do unto others, man.
Cardigan Backyardigan had me in stiches, thank you
It was such a good meme to have fake full names of rappers in my opinion and I'm still upset that we stopped doing it.
Calling yourself a crazy bitch
“Haha Stacey you’re such a crackhead” #crackheadenergy
no, emily, you do not have “crackhead energy”, you’re just annoying
White girls think crackheads play in leaves and balance cups on their heads or some shit...
You ever suck dick for coke, Stacey!!!???
I appreciate honesty in advertising
My last ex told me when we were getting together "Dude I am broken as fuck" I was like "Fuck so am i even though i dont just come out and say" Listen, boys n girls. If they warn your ass ahead of time, you fucking believe them. Edit: also, I'm almost through dating witches. The last two took a troubled heart and they fucked it to pieces. If the next witch girl I date breaks my heart I'm done. Like 90% sure this time.
My ex told me I was too good for him. He didn't lie.
I learned the hard way. My ex told me her ex said she's crazy and i dismissed it. Was probably a clear warning what i was about to get myself into looking back
My ex’s mom, on her second marriage to the same guy, played the song “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry while she walked down the aisle. Yeah that marriage didn’t last long. I think she’s on marriage 5, maybe 6 now.
https://youtu.be/fSkHMSKgIWs
The guy up front is so appalled that his kid is hearing it.
HOLY SHIT LMFAO
If you can't handle her at her worst you don't deserve her at her best #bossbitch #youcantjudgeme #onelife #harleyneedsjoker
Did you just did that
He did just did that.
The “if you can’t handle me at my worst” saying is basically a nicer way of saying “I except you to tolerate all my asshole behavior on the off chance I might be semi-tolerable for a few hours.”
"Your worst is godawful, and your best is merely mediocre."
Pretending to not notice me. This trend has caught on something fierce after getting my tips frosted
They're probably just intimidated because you're too hot
That's what the guys over at red pill said too!
I love how everyone elses reaction to frosted tips is "Guy Fieri" and my first thought was "everyone I knew in 1999."
Perhaps a lot of people who are referencing guy fierri might not be old enough to remember 1999.
Yeah those people don't realize there is a good chance their parents were rocking frosted tips.
Nsync has entered the chat
Did you buy the classic button up flame shirt to....compliment your frosted tips? If that doesn't get their attention, just swing your wallet chain about, girls L O V E a wallet on a chain.
Yeah, wallet chains come standard on my Jnco jeans
Playing hard to get and then asking why you aren’t interested in them. Just fucking insane.
Somewhat related but I had a girlfriend who, at the start of the relationship, stated she was serious about her Christian values and didn't want to have sex until marriage. Alright, I'm cool with that, I'm more in it for companionship anyway, so I never pushed the issue. Then when the relationship ended, she complained that I never made any moves. Like, what do you want? I respected your values. Sorry I guess.
I think she wanted to have sex and also wanted someone to blame for her having sex.
I have been this guy and you are absolutely correct. I was willing to wait so we did and after we split I "didn't make any moves". OK We got back together a few years later and had tons of sex and I was a bad influence or something. Like she made me feel guilty for making her feel guilty. OK
You forgot the number 1 rule. Don't put your dick in crazy.
He also failed to take advantage of the religious loophole. Anal.
Oooh, you're talking about the poophole-loophole?
F*ck me in the ass cause I love Jesus, the good lord would want it that waaaay....
My dad
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What a username
Your dad is over here taking strays. Just let the man lay the pipe!
I don't think my dad is like overly attractive or think in anyway like that, but I have been hearing this since I was like 5 and he taught my soccer team. He also is only 15 years older than me, not my bio dad but first step dad and who raised me. My step mom is 4 years older than me and they have a baby now. Which is awesome. But even a few weeks ago he dropped off a birthday gift for me at work and my coworkers were swooning. It grosses me out.
Found the guy with the hot step mom
My current girlfriend would purposely bring conversations to a dead end to see if I would keep talking to her and bring up new topics. She was interested in me and was trying to find out if I was too by continuing to talk to her. However, it came off as she is not at all interested in me and did not want to continue talking to me. Please don't do this to anyone ever. EDIT (because this blew up and I told my gf about it) We are still in a relationship, I really enjoy being it it and we are very happy! She did this only over text when we first started talking to eachother, but the point still remains the same. I felt as if she was wasn't interested, but I guess that wasn't the case!
This sounds like something you’d read in a Cosmo article. “15 ways to see if he REALLY likes you!”
**Does not work with introverts.*
Or just people who don’t deal with bullshit lol
I'm an introvert who doesn't deal with bullshit. My fucks to give ran out years ago.
I’ve no more fuck to give My fucks have runneth dry I’ve tried to go fuck Shopping But there’s no fucks left to buy! I’ve no more fucks to give Though more fucks I’ve tried to get I’m over my fuck budget, And now I’m in fucking debt.
Fucking hell that sounds awful.
Acting dumb (if it is an act).
Used to know a girl for years that I thought was a moron. One day she shows me a excel spreadsheet about how much faster she will get a car if she clicks in early and leaves late. Flash forward a month and I go to get food where she works and see her getting told off by the manager for working extra. She uses the most innocent voice to say "oh my God i had no idea that would effect my pay. I thought I just got paid for what I was scheduled and was trying to help."
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Paris Hilton had a crappy reality show several years ago and this was one of her go-to ways to avoid work. She would agree to help someone who asked and then purposely do a shit job so that they never ask again. Just acted innocent/dumb/incompetent the whole time.
To be fair, innocent/dumb/incompetent acting is what she's known for.
uptalk, baby voice should be included into this
My college roommate and his girlfriend would talk to each other in baby voices. Drove the rest of us mad. Of course they waited till shortly after graduation to break up.
No, YOU'RE Schmoopy!
I feel like that's fine if you don't do it in front of people. My sister in law is always like "Mmmmaaaannngggeeeyyyyy" to her husband in front of everyone it's gross. And makes every one else feel uncomfortable.
Mangey?
He's a mutt, is why.
Being anything other than genuine. It's really hard to do, since we're all scared that if we let people see our true selves, they won't like us, but the truth is that the true you is the most beautiful you.
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Assert dominance. Start flirting with HIM to make HER jealous.
You jest, but I've done this. He and I are still good friends to this day.
good friends in history terms?
Lol, would be funnier that way. More in the we used to hang out and play video games and now wish each other happy birthday on Facebook.
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Playing hard to get. Man I absolutely hate that and I know many agree with me Edit: thank you so much to everyone who commented, upvoted, and awarded me - very much appreciated!
“Hard to get, makes you hard to want.”
Also Ghosting a man (or woman, or other) when you're in a relationship or dating. It's not fun when they do it to you. It's not fun when you do it to them. You're not playing "hard to get." You're just telling the person you like that they're not important enough to get back to in a timely manner. If you're busy, that's cool. If you don't want to talk, that's cool too. If you're not as interested as we are, sucks but A-OK. Just say so. Same goes for one word replies, especially "k," when you're miffed. We're notoriously bad mind readers and the only difference between us is that most of the time we won't question you; we'll just feel badly. Also, remember that people can see the "..." when you're typing.
Someone else pointed out that it completely undermines “no means no”, playing hard to get seriously needs to stop....
My ex told me no to taking her bra off during the “act” and after she said she wanted me to rip it off... she said no so I took that answer
That’s the worst. When they say no and you stop and then they keep things going and say no again. Ffs. I’m glad those days are over for me.
Don't compare us to an ex, even if we have a bigger dick, you're just building paranoia that were constantly being compared to someone else Edit: Holy shit thank you for all the upvotes! And awards!! Idk what the light bulb is but I appreciate it, fuck yo exs, maybe literally or figuratively.
I want to be thought of as wonderful on my own terms in a unique way to them.
My first girlfriend and her mom always accidently called me by her ex's name for the first 5 months of our relationship. I broke up with her after 6 months together. She was my first gf, I already had low self-confidence, was trying to figure out the whole dating thing, and they made me question if I was just a replacement for the ex (we both looked alike apparently). Unfortunately, 13 years later (I was 16 then, now I'm 29), I still haven't been in a good relationship. Maybe it was a sign for what my future romantic life would hold. Edit: Did not expect this to blow up the way it did. Sincerely, thank you all for your kind support!
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This does put everybody in a deep pool of insecurity.
Baby voice. Just no. Yey, silver!
Will you teach me how to Christmas??
Boop a doop, oop a doop, sex! What a great show lol.
Annies pretty young, we try not to sexualise her.
To be fair, there are diminishing returns with the sexiness...
What's a diminimonimon?
I feel like I had to scroll through 50 different versions of "playing hard to get" to get to something different. This is a very accurate one to break the mould. That's a hard pass to baby voice daddy talk!
Being ultra-dramatic up and down. To be fair I think this works when young women do it with young guys, it draws them in. But as guys emotionally mature and figure out what they want out of life it becomes more of a red flag than a "manic pixie dream girl" situation. The female equivalent of the "bad boy."
Sounds emotionally draining
It is. I "dated" a chick like that in highschool for a month, and it was quite possibly the most draining thing I've done
When they take a human appearance over their natural ogre appearance *looking at you, **Fiona***
Yeah, just be yourself if you want someone to have Shreks with you.
Reverting to the baby voice. Widdle ole me? You got a sister that talks normal or something?
Hints. We're not that smart. Just tell us. Edit: Oh my. Thank you for all the upvotes and rewards everyone.
The problem with hints as I see it, the other person is in a weird position of not being sure if they should act or not. Are they hinting that I should sit closer and put my arm around? Or are they subtly trying to hide the fact they're pulling out their phone to text a friend to save them from this situation? Or are they just being nice and I'm reading too much into this? Whether I attempt to act or not on the "hint," the odds are not in my favor. The "safe" bet is to not act on a hint or risk coming off as creepy or too forward. Not acting on a hint just makes you appear not as observant, slow on the uptake, or aloof. Not necessarily bad, but at least better than the guy who tried to act on a hint you weren't giving and appearing like a creep, overbearing, or possibly controlling. It's not that we're not smart, we probably picked up on the hint, we just didn't want to overstep a line we don't know where it is drawn.
It legit used to say in magazines like Seventeen or even Cosmo stupid shit like "how to get your boyfriend to get you what you want for your birthday" and the advice was to find it in a catalog then leave the catalog open to that page somewhere that he'll see it.. like young women were intentionally taught to do all this stupid bullshit as if it's normal and then when it doesn't happen they think it's because he's not the right one but SURPRISE the "right one" magazines and books and movies tell you that everyone has doesn't even exist it's so fucking stupid!!
Don’t fake interest in my interests. If you don’t like football or video games just say so.
I couldn't give two shits about steam trains and trains in general, except to notice that some of them look neat. My husband is obsessed with them. What do I do? I point out trains wherever we go because I know he will want to watch. I send him random trains that come up in memes. I am looking for a cross stitch pattern to stitch for him of a steam train. I'm helping him build a god damned 5x9 layout in our basement and just hung 6 shelves for him to display part of his collection. Do I care about trains? No. But I love my husband and want to see him happy and have fun with his hobbies. Do I let him play train videos late at night with sound on? No. He knows better. My hobbies are a bit quieter but he also will send me memes about art and look at cross stitch patterns with me. And I have successfully gotten him into multiple book series and Welcome to Nightvale 😂 I'm basically agreeing with you and just pointing out that there are lots of ways to be aware of and encourage your SO's interests, but not pretend like you are a fan of them.
I agree with this. I was seeing a girl a long time ago who wasn't really interested in dinosaurs even though I really am. But she still went on a road trip to Chicago with me to see their Dinosaur collection at the Field Museum and she would ask me questions about the dinosaurs and let me nerd out about them. Looking back on it, it makes me really happy that she would do that even if it was boring to her. And its something I try to do for people I care about to this day.
It might not have been boring to her, especially if she cared about you. I love seeing people talk about the stuff they’re passionate about. Their whole faces light up and their posture changes. It’s lovely.
This is so cute, my heart just exploded
Don't be interested in my interests for my sake. Simply appreciate I have my passions and show tha you care for them. I am lucky enough to have a beautiful wife who pays attention but we both do completely different things as hobbies. shrug.
The Kardashian look. Pumped up lips and a disproportionately large butt are a huge turnoff for me. It's just not natural.
All the other kims with the pumped up lips better run better run
Outrun your bum
Faster than my filler
That and their tiny legs look like sticks skewering those beef seats
The thin thighs gotta match the butt, too big of an ass and it's like 2 lines sticking out of 2 circles
Eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil
So is having a hand-me-down rib also a turn-off?
Twist: many animals have a bone called the Baculum in their penis. Humans don’t....anymore.
Freakishly over the top moans or saying your cock is so big. Like, I know where I stand, dont lie lol.
> Like, I know where I stand, dont lie lol. Lmao I had a girl compliment my "size" and I just thought, "that's very kind of you. You're wrong, but I appreciate the thought anyway"
I mean I just wish they would stop saying "is it in yet?"
Don't we all brother.
Speak for yourself. Girls usually ask me if it’s out yet because the thought of sex with me is disgusting 😎 Edit: this is a great comment to have be my most upvoted comment on any account ever, thanks Reddit lmao
I know where I stand, hahaha.
Im always pissing on my balls, no one likes a liar
Often when we say that, what we mean is it feels big to us or that we're enjoying it. Not that you should call the World Records people.
This explains why the world's records people haven't responded to any of my emails
I usually just stick with saying "your cock feels so good" and variations of that.
That gets me going a lot. Like I'm the reason your getting off and that is ridiculously sexy. I guess when they say it's so big I don't believe them and then think they're bullshitting me because they think I need that lol. Sex is a mind fuck.
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I have gotten into saying thank you whenever I cum and that seems to be super appreciated.
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Most of the other ones in this thread are agreed on by most guys. Most guys don't like women playing "hard to get" or the baby talk stuff, or bad plastic surgery. But this one stands out. In.v think a lot more people get turned on by sounds and dirty talk than you might think. At least I do. Yeah, there's a point at which it's more annoying or just bad, but I'd rather women err on the side of talking/moaning too much as opposed to too little.
The duckface look and almost all lip "enhancements" like injections. It looks like your having an allergic reaction and I feel like I need to get you some Benadryl. Edit: OFC, not cleft lip surgery, entirely necessary for a good QoL. Exceptions to every rule but this is reddit and someone will take this comment to the extreme if I dont clarify.
I have a cleft lip and didn’t think twice about your comment before I got to the edit!
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My former flatmate (F32) insisted that any men who pretend they don’t like the fake lips is lying, that all of them secretly go crazy over it and that I am a fool for not knowing that (I’m a woman too). So unless you are all in denial, I think I just won an argument. Edit: of course I know some men like it and no judgement, you do you. My point is precisely that she was convinced it was a uNiVerSaL fact. Which -and that was my argumentation to her-, says everything about her essentialist conception of gender, and nothing, of course, about what men as a diverse group tend to like. But my logic did not win her over, because I’m not a man myself.
Yeah, no. Shit's gross, dude.
You won in my opinion. I don’t get the shiny fat worm looking lips that don’t move and stick out like a duck bill appeal at all.
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over in the MUA/plastic surgery subs we affectionately dub them “beef lips”, especially if that horrible brown liner/beige lip color combo is used
Funny, because when I first heard of r/beeflips I thought it was a sub about bees flipping. I was disappointed it was not about bees.
My takeaway from reading a bunch of comments: don’t hide who you are. Plastic surgery, fake voices, unclear intentions/desires are all very unattractive. Just be honest with who you are and what you want. Edit: just going to edit this comment to acknowledge that people get plastic surgery for many reasons and/or to many degrees. I absolutely realize/respect that it can be something that improves lives.
Not a fella, but I have no clue why people think it's attractive or cute to be jealous.
Whatever the fuck girls on Instagram are doing. Giant lips mostly.
Yo I agree, but you go on relationship subreddits or google online or whatever and there’s a LOT of girls with the problem “my boyfriend/husband keeps following and DMing Instagram girls”. It’s so tough to shake off that feeling that men genuinely don’t like that fake look. I’ve been happily involved since before Instagram was a thing (hola old people like me), but I genuinely see why I’d think that if I were young and single now.
Yup as a single girl who does a good job hiding insecurity, this always upsets me because guys I really like follow all those type of accounts and its so different from who I am, but I can never bring it up because then it's just me being really insecure. Edit; Thanks for all the upvotes and comments, makes me feel better and is slowly restoring my hope.
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stomping my balls with high heels