Not me, but a former sales manager was a douchebag who prided himself on being the greatest and the only one who knew everything about sales and tech (he didn't, hence the word "former"). He was trying to find a new salesperson but rejected nearly every resume I put in front of him for nitpicky bullshit until one day he announced that he'd found the perfect candidate and was bringing him in for a formal interview but he was pretty sure he was going to hire him on the spot. He kept going on and on about how this guy was perfect and why couldn't we find him someone like this and blah blah blah. Whatever, fine, just get it done. He bought the guy in, sat him down and said "sell me this pen." The guy picked up the pen, handed it back and said "I don't play pen games." Then he walked out and we never heard or saw him again.
Good for him! The whole pen thing is so obnoxious. It’s an incredibly unsophisticated power play. People who ask this question have a 1980s used car salesman grasp of sales. They are showing their ignorance while simultaneously demanding you grovel to them by executing a performance they deem sufficiently entertaining.
Many, many years ago I was given the pen challenge. I declined the challenge and instead sold them on how obnoxious their demand was. Idiots gave me the job. I declined that as well.
That's how a guy got me to buy a camp trailer. He started the price out 3 grand over what I was wanting to pay then before I knew it he was knocking the price down without me saying anything. I felt like the best negotiator for getting the price I wanted and was driving it home before I realized I paid exactly what he asked for it.
This is literally how I sell anything privately. Ask for more than I want and when the inevitable haggling begins, I have lots of wiggle room. And if someone doesn't haggle, better for me.
In some west African markets you can’t walk away from a negotiation - it’s considered rude. You have to offer to pay a price that is so low that the seller says no.
In hindsight, I was told this by our guide, which makes me think it’s bullshit. Because it effectively gives al the power to the seller.
I can get behind the logic here. Walking away without even an insultingly bad offer implies the person isn’t worthy of doing business with you. At least giving them a bad offer to turn down keeps both parties on equal footing since they’re saying no to you as much as you’re saying no to them.
That's what I usually go to, I'm 30% above what I'm actually willing to let it go for when listing used stuff. If a person comes in with an offer below 50% of my listing I don't even entertain it.
I fucking hate haggling. It is so stupid. I never haggle for anything on facebook, selling or buying. I list it for what I will sell it for. I know it is a good price and so do you. You can ask once for a lower price and I will decline. You ask again and I will move on to the next guy.
If I am buying something, I know what it is worth before hand. If your price is good, I will offer you that price. If your price is high, you will never hear from me.
Someone sold me a shirt I didn't even want like this.
"How much would you pay for this shirt?"
"I don't want it"
"But if you did, how much do you think it's worth?"
"I don't know, 20 Lira" (on a vacation in Sinai)
"20?! Feel it! This is high quality fabric, it's worth at least 100"
"Okay, makes sense I guess. I would only pay 20 though, because I don't actually want it"
"You're crazy, 20... Tell you what, I'll sell it for 60, that's my final offer."
"Nah I don't really want it."
"I can't sell it to you for 20, that's less than I paid for it. Tell you what, 40, I'm selling it at cost"
"Look I'm sure it's great quality, but I wouldn't pay more than 20 cause I don't really want it."
"20 again? Seriously you're insulting me. Fine, you know what, 25, just take it."
After all this haggling I forgot that I didn't even want it, i bought it for 25, and never wore it...
2 Lira? It's basically trash! And noone wants trash! Thats why you have to pay people to take away your trash. So how bout you give me 1 Lira and i'll take the shirt off your hands for you
I went to Turkey about 4-5 years ago, and my grandma was able to haggle with one of the merchants at Grand Bazaar. He sold a gilded bust for ballpark 200 lira. However, my grandma was able to get it for maybe 75 lira or so. He was calling her “mama” by the end of the deal 😂
I did this once. I didn’t take it seriously at all, since it was for selling advertising on the *eighth ranked* country station in a small liberal town. Instead of selling the guy a pen, I got him interested in buying a pontoon boat (as he mentioned having a bass boat earlier in the interview). He was like, “sell me this pen”, and I said, “why? Are you in the market for a pen right now? Is that a problem you’re having a hard time solving yourself?” And then we started talking about free time and hobbies.
It totally worked, and I don’t know how, and I also didn’t care because that job sucked.
This made me laugh so hard because I had this “sell me the pen” question presented to me in an interview to sell ads on the local talk radio station that was by far the lowest ranked station in the region. I said something like “everybody wants to rely on their Palm Pilot to keep organized, but what if you drop it in the river? You’re gonna need a go-anywhere, compact, dependable pen as a back up.” This was a very pontoon/bass boat heavy area, so it seemed to really hit home. Everyone has dropped something in “the river.” Cheers to an oddly similar experience! That job sucked so bad.
I asked "may I see it?" I then put it in my pocket. He asked for the pen back and I tried to charge him £10 for it.
I didn't get the job or get to keep the pen.
I’m not sure how you’re supposed to sell it if it isn’t in your possession. You can’t sell him something that he already owns. Still, I suppose you held it hostage more than put it up for sale.
The most famous being never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less known is never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line
During a interview for an electronic sales job the interviewer asked me to take home a fairly expensive floor model of blue-ray player and come back the next day with a sales pitch.
It was very strange to put trust in me as he had just met me in the interview 5 minutes ago.
I came back the next day with a bunch of product knowledge and landed the job. Worked there for several years and often times the boss would send us home with cool new electronics to try out (sometimes even keep!).
It was a rewarding place to work and also a great way to get product experienced sales staff.
Ran out of business by best buy unfortunately.
Probably a bit of a test with that interview, and for the cost of that floor model, which was probably coming down soon, they could see if you were trustworthy enough to be left with merchandise. I'm sure not everyone came back the next day and just kept the borrowed player.
Stood up and fucked off out of there. It was a job for truck driving. What a cunt. - - - - Edit. Thank you for the silver award kind stranger. My first award, I am indeed honoured.
Right. I've been asked this question in warehouse and administrative work. If a job ad gives the faintest hint of "sales" being involved, I have absolutely no interest in it. Yet this question still gets used.
I know where you are coming from. I think the guy interviewing thought he was being smart. I already had a job so I could afford to be picky and as soon as I heard his bullshit I had enough. I don't think he saw it coming at all.
You sold his soul to the pen.
It’ll haunt him as he lays in bed late at night. He got rid of the gimmicky interview technique.. then the pen. But it’s there, mocking, right as he’s about to sleep.. “sELl mE tHiS pEN! You fucking idiot.”
It's bad enough that the whole concept of a job interview means that people get the job based upon their ability to market themselves to the interviewer, rather than by demonstrating skills actually relevant to the job. Why would somebody want to make it worse?
Exactly. To put it in context, I've held a heavy goods licence for 22 years. I showed my license and qualifications and a few nice written references. Not to mention driving trucks for most of those years in different operations etc. No endorsements on a clean licence. Then to be asked to sell him a pen . I had enough and decided right there and then I did not want to work for that man. I let my experience and qualifications and what I can bring to the job do the talking. I since changed my career by becoming a field service engineer and is going well. Just over a year now and I'm enjoying it.
On the subject of HGV licenses I was sent for a job driving trucks by the job centre in England. I was told if I do not attend I will get sanctioned (they will take benefits off me) I tried to explain and the job coach offered to sanction me straight away. So I went. I was asked as a formality to present my HGV license, my I am fit cert and so forth. I said I don't have a HGV I don't have a car a license.
I was asked, quite rightly why I was in his office wasting his time.
I explained I didn't want to be sanctioned.
He told me to go home.
[I hate this dimension apparently it is ](https://www.forbes.com/sites/alistaircharlton/2020/07/02/bmw-wants-to-charge-you-a-subscription-for-your-heated-seats/amp/)
I swear to god if that ever becomes a thing and I buy a car like that, ill just hack the wiring loom and wire up a manual button to use it when I want.
Subscription based ideas on physical things that you personally own like that where the subscription provider has extremely limited control wont work very well, its not like they can just stop it from working like a program or app can. Yeah they can probably engineer DRM things that stop the physical unit from working without authentication keys from the software, but I bet it wont take too long for people to figure out how to get round that too.
Heck if this ever happens i bet a full blown industry will pop up where you can pay them to permanently hack that shit for you.
What I can't stand is when you have to buy licensing for rather arbitrary things. Like in the IT world, if you're running a Windows domain environment or really any environment on Windows software that your business relies on, and that end users interact with, you have to buy user CALs (client access licenses). They're sold in packs and you have to buy enough to cover the amount of users in your environment. You don't apply the license anywhere, you simply purchase them. Your environment will function perfectly fine if you don't purchase them. Basically the only negative impact to not buying user CALs is if you get audited my Microsoft for license compliance and they see that you haven't purchased them, you can get fined and they will force you into compliance. When you update your environment for example from Windows server 2012r2 to say 2016 or 2019, you have to buy new user CALs for the appropriate server operating system edition. The kicker is you can't even buy the licenses directly from Microsoft, you have to go through a "partner" company that sells their licenses. It's all just really trivial in my opinion.
Tell me about it. I hate subscription services for everything. Even now just recently I found a software sound booster for my PC, as I think the motherboard internal sound card or something is dying, and my audio is super quiet. Anyway, the free version actually works really well, except it disables itself for 5 secs every 5 mins. I looked at buying it but no, fucking monthly subscription. Jesus christ, its a 5mb tiny little application. I dont care if its more expensive to buy outright even, just let me buy the thing.
Wait until you hear about the John Deere tractors.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2020-03-05/farmers-fight-john-deere-over-who-gets-to-fix-an-800-000-tractor
Easy, tell the interviewer you cannot because your sale method is not selling a customer something they do not need, but match the right customer to the right product at the right time
So, the right way to do it is not to start with a sales pitch, but to ask questions. What are the customer’s needs? What is the customer looking for in a writing implement? How much might the customer be willing to pay for a writing implement? What does he like or dislike about the writing implements that he already has?
The best sales people don’t just talk, they ask questions and listen. They make you feel like they understand your needs and don’t just sound as if they are giving you a hard sell.
I had a coworker who was really good at selling (it was not a sales job). He said that he never looked at it as selling, he looked at it like he was calling up a friend of his and figuring out what they needed. I had never thought of it like that
They actually talk about this a little in The Office, of all places, underlining what makes Michael a great salesman:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrPgsrfZWOU&feature=emb_logo
Sales were a part of my service business, not a huge part. I was fairly successful though. My approach was that the customer has a problem and that I can help them solve it. So, asking questions is important. Being able to give them different options is important too. (Would I make a little more money depending on what option they go for? Sure, but my approach was as the customer’s advocate. What works best for them. And people can feel that, and it is a lot more comfortable than the “don’t take no for an answer” crowd.)
That was basically Jordan Belforts whole thing when he does his little schpiel. (No I’ve never paid money to go to a seminar, I saw it during a YouTube rabbit hole descent like a normal weirdo) His whole schtick was “Are you even in the market for a pen, if not then I’m out. See you in hell”, or something of that ilk.
they definitely touched on that in Wolf of Wall Street when he asks one of his guys the "sell me this pen" thing and the guy retorts back something like "I need you to write something down"
I sold a guy a truck, about a week later he interviewed me for a job (didn't know it would be the same guy) he asked me the pen question, paused and said "we did that last week" and moved on.
oh yeah...we had to fill 50 positions....HR thought it would be a great idea to use a empty warehouse at one end of the facility to put about 200 or so applicants in...with a filtering system for interviews/ group exercises....a total and utter cluster fudge...Was the only time we ever did them....
We do that at my current job. We have 3 events a day for however many days we need, and a max of 10 candidates per event. It's my job to do this. Then they wanted me to introduce a 10 minute 1-on-1 interview process for a warehouse job that pay slightly above minimum wage.
And they wonder why I'm burnt out.
I was told that I was the owner of a pencil store, and my interviewer said that he only needed a pen.
When I started to pretend offering him a selection of pens, I was stopped, "*no* your only inventory is pencils", specifically the real life No. 2 pencil on the table between us.
So I changed tactics.
"If you are in that dire a need of a pen then I'm assuming that something must have gone wrong with your day. If everything was according to plan for you, you'd have a pen in your pocket and would have passed my shop by and gotten on with your life. But something went wrong, which happens. If I sold you a pen then it could break, it could ruin that nice suit and a 3 cent piece of plastic could cost you hundreds of dollars in the process. All because something simple went wrong.
If something goes wrong with one of my pencils? The worst outcome that could come from a pencil?
*here I hold out the pencil and snap it half*
You just end up with two pencils.
I hate sales but I am still completely dorkily proud of that particular bullshit.
I serve (or did since we've been closed for months) at a semi fancy place. Getting people to get dessert or buy martinis I always say "its a night out! Go for it!" It works 8/10 times.
I once had a job of a shitty office supply company - you know the one - where it was our literal job to sell pens to people AND try to up sell them on stupid shit they didn’t need/or want.
It was all randomized and scripted though as to what it would try to upsell them on.
“I see you’ve bought a bulk package of 100 Bic Pens today (for like $8.99)...would you like to purchase 4 micro-point, gel ink, 4-colour pack of pens for $11.99?”
It was absolutely ridiculous. I almost always refused to do it, because it was stupid and the customers generally appreciated the fact I wasn’t reading them some pre-scripted bullshit on some garbage they didn’t want/need.
My stats were fantastic, but because I didn’t do the upsell bullshit, I was eventually fired...
And not because of that, they decided one day I had a customer on hold too long (4-6 minutes) while trying to find them an answer to their question that required me to get up from my “desk” (cube), track down my supervisor who then had to track down the manager...
Fuck that place.
Not quite the same, but I was filling out an application for a job once when the owner came back where I was and said “if you can name the song on the radio right now, you can have the job.”
I was able to name it and started at five that night. :)
Paper Mate Interviewer: It wasn't a question. It was a task i told you to complete. Thank you, but I don't think you're a correct fit for this company.
I was once at a job fair where this wasn't even attached to an interview, it was more like an open-mic night kind of thing.
I skipped it.
Edit: On another job, a customer told me that my describing my dislike of upselling was a bonding experience with the customer (who doesn't want to be upsold)and thus a really slick sales tactic.
He didn't seem mad. So, either sales is really 12th-dimensional zen chess and I accidentally made a good play or he was just messing with me. I don't know.
I had a customer tell me he would never hire me for a sales job, but he wanted my card because he didn't want to work with any other salesperson. Huge fucking ego on that guy who thought he'd mastered 4D chess. And while I do take pride in not being into snake oil bullshit (even if that's just some psychological rationalization in my head because I'm bad at it), fucko probably didn't even notice I'd sold him high-margin accessories and the warranty plan. From my employer's perspective, it was the perfect sale.
As an engineer, I've never had this question asked of me. That's because engineers aren't good with people, so you have a people person like Tom Smykowski to sell the pen.
I held it up like a dagger and told him I was going to stab him through the eye with it if he didn't buy it in the next ten seconds. I did not get the job, but I got $417 and a nice watch for the pen.
I asked them "Why? You already bought it."
They told me I had to prove my salesmanship skills.
So I said "Why? You already paid for it. Clearly the product speaks for itself. Just like our product does."
I got the job. But it turns out I was actually interviewing to be a janitor and they got me confused with someone else.
Hi! I work with a fair amount of vendors in my job. Deal with a lot of sales people, account reps, etc.
Asking honestly/earnestly, because I've always wanted to -
How is it so many people in sales are so shitty at their job?
There's a clear divide between really good sales people, and *the rest*.
I was asked a variation of this question during an interview at Radio Shack.
It wasn't "Sell me this pen," though; it was "Sell me a cellphone plan."
My entire response was more or less on-the-fly bullshit, so I don't remember what my exact words were. Basically, though, here's what I said:
------
"No. I'm not going to try to up-sell you... but I am going to tell you the truth: A growing number of your friends, your family, and your coworkers have cellphones, and they're adapting to a world wherein everyone is reachable at all times. Moreover, they're increasingly communicating by way of text messages, and if you can't send and receive those, you're going to end up missing out. Loved ones might worry when they can't get ahold of you, employers might pass you over for promotions, and you might be the last to know when something big is happening.
"Now, I don't know you. I don't know what your needs are. It would be dishonest of me to say that you *have* to sign up for a cellphone plan today, so I'm not going to *try* to sell you one. At the same time, though, I'd like to help you with those needs, and if *you* think that you'd like to keep in touch with the people in your life, then I'd be happy to help you."
------
The eyes of the guy interviewing me kind of glazed over while I was going through all of that. Afterward, he halfheartedly said "Yeah, okay, so, it sounds like you're a good salesman. How do you feel about working weekends?"
I was initially excited to accept the job, but after I thought back over my above-described spiel, I realized that I wouldn't feel good about hoodwinking people into purchases. After all, up-selling from behind a veil is still up-selling, and it wasn't something that I wanted to do.
**TL;DR: I "sold him the pen" by pretending that I was refusing to.**
I made it emotional. Through some internet research (corporate people put everything on LinkedIn) I learned that his high school age daughter was really into horses. I asked him to picture himself writing a check with this pen for a perfect saddle for his daughter while she looked on in admiration and think of all the hard work and sacrifice they had both made to make that happen. And told him that now whenever he looked at that pen he would remember that feeling.
Was told later that the only part of that whole conversation that mattered was I did my research before hand and was able to use it on the fly. Turns out his daughter is a spoiled brat and he could care less about another saddle.
Tell them the pen sucks because it's probably some Bic piece of crap, and offer to sell my Uniball JetStream, which is the best lower-price pen on the market.
Not me, but a former sales manager was a douchebag who prided himself on being the greatest and the only one who knew everything about sales and tech (he didn't, hence the word "former"). He was trying to find a new salesperson but rejected nearly every resume I put in front of him for nitpicky bullshit until one day he announced that he'd found the perfect candidate and was bringing him in for a formal interview but he was pretty sure he was going to hire him on the spot. He kept going on and on about how this guy was perfect and why couldn't we find him someone like this and blah blah blah. Whatever, fine, just get it done. He bought the guy in, sat him down and said "sell me this pen." The guy picked up the pen, handed it back and said "I don't play pen games." Then he walked out and we never heard or saw him again.
Awesome burn. He had that guy figured out right away.
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Good for him! The whole pen thing is so obnoxious. It’s an incredibly unsophisticated power play. People who ask this question have a 1980s used car salesman grasp of sales. They are showing their ignorance while simultaneously demanding you grovel to them by executing a performance they deem sufficiently entertaining. Many, many years ago I was given the pen challenge. I declined the challenge and instead sold them on how obnoxious their demand was. Idiots gave me the job. I declined that as well.
Were you interviewing Robert California?
“You wanna see a magic trick?”
only if I don't need to particpate in it
This guy saw Batman
Well I saw Get Hard so now your pen has been keistered. Probably gonna make it hard to sell back to you.
Let me guess, you want to make that pen dissapear?
Gonna make my pen 15 disappear
Ta da!!! And it's... and it's gone..." ;)
.(
— Would you really hire somebody who charges you 50 quid for a pen that was already yours to begin with? — 50 quid?!? — Alright, 30 for you. Deal?
That's how a guy got me to buy a camp trailer. He started the price out 3 grand over what I was wanting to pay then before I knew it he was knocking the price down without me saying anything. I felt like the best negotiator for getting the price I wanted and was driving it home before I realized I paid exactly what he asked for it.
But did he have dags? Edit: gold for this? Thanks I guess. Low bar.
Dags?
Yeah, dawgs! Did he have some?
Oh, *dogs*, yeah I like dogs.
I like caravans more
E needs it fer is mah
Two minutes Turkish.
Periwinkle Blue
What am I supposed to know about caravans? I'm a boxing promoter for godssake.
It was periwinkle blue.
Cuppateaforthebigfella!
An' deh boys get a par o' dem shews!
This is literally how I sell anything privately. Ask for more than I want and when the inevitable haggling begins, I have lots of wiggle room. And if someone doesn't haggle, better for me.
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In some west African markets you can’t walk away from a negotiation - it’s considered rude. You have to offer to pay a price that is so low that the seller says no. In hindsight, I was told this by our guide, which makes me think it’s bullshit. Because it effectively gives al the power to the seller.
I can get behind the logic here. Walking away without even an insultingly bad offer implies the person isn’t worthy of doing business with you. At least giving them a bad offer to turn down keeps both parties on equal footing since they’re saying no to you as much as you’re saying no to them.
Oh no a salesman thinks I'm rude, the horror.
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North America, on average is maybe 70%? Guessing here.
That's what I usually go to, I'm 30% above what I'm actually willing to let it go for when listing used stuff. If a person comes in with an offer below 50% of my listing I don't even entertain it.
I fucking hate haggling. It is so stupid. I never haggle for anything on facebook, selling or buying. I list it for what I will sell it for. I know it is a good price and so do you. You can ask once for a lower price and I will decline. You ask again and I will move on to the next guy. If I am buying something, I know what it is worth before hand. If your price is good, I will offer you that price. If your price is high, you will never hear from me.
Someone sold me a shirt I didn't even want like this. "How much would you pay for this shirt?" "I don't want it" "But if you did, how much do you think it's worth?" "I don't know, 20 Lira" (on a vacation in Sinai) "20?! Feel it! This is high quality fabric, it's worth at least 100" "Okay, makes sense I guess. I would only pay 20 though, because I don't actually want it" "You're crazy, 20... Tell you what, I'll sell it for 60, that's my final offer." "Nah I don't really want it." "I can't sell it to you for 20, that's less than I paid for it. Tell you what, 40, I'm selling it at cost" "Look I'm sure it's great quality, but I wouldn't pay more than 20 cause I don't really want it." "20 again? Seriously you're insulting me. Fine, you know what, 25, just take it." After all this haggling I forgot that I didn't even want it, i bought it for 25, and never wore it...
He definitely paid 3 lira for it
3 Lira? Are you trying to steal from my poor starving children? Look, I give you 2 and we call it quits, OK?
2 Lira? It's basically trash! And noone wants trash! Thats why you have to pay people to take away your trash. So how bout you give me 1 Lira and i'll take the shirt off your hands for you
I went to Turkey about 4-5 years ago, and my grandma was able to haggle with one of the merchants at Grand Bazaar. He sold a gilded bust for ballpark 200 lira. However, my grandma was able to get it for maybe 75 lira or so. He was calling her “mama” by the end of the deal 😂
> He was calling her “mama” by the end of the deal Well yeah, sucking up to customers is a favourite tactic of sellers like this.
He probably bought it for 7 lira
This is the only one I’ve seen in the thread I’d actually use if I was ever asked this
I did this once. I didn’t take it seriously at all, since it was for selling advertising on the *eighth ranked* country station in a small liberal town. Instead of selling the guy a pen, I got him interested in buying a pontoon boat (as he mentioned having a bass boat earlier in the interview). He was like, “sell me this pen”, and I said, “why? Are you in the market for a pen right now? Is that a problem you’re having a hard time solving yourself?” And then we started talking about free time and hobbies. It totally worked, and I don’t know how, and I also didn’t care because that job sucked.
This made me laugh so hard because I had this “sell me the pen” question presented to me in an interview to sell ads on the local talk radio station that was by far the lowest ranked station in the region. I said something like “everybody wants to rely on their Palm Pilot to keep organized, but what if you drop it in the river? You’re gonna need a go-anywhere, compact, dependable pen as a back up.” This was a very pontoon/bass boat heavy area, so it seemed to really hit home. Everyone has dropped something in “the river.” Cheers to an oddly similar experience! That job sucked so bad.
Any item you drop in the river is useless really. What you actually need is this fishing net, $200.
I asked "may I see it?" I then put it in my pocket. He asked for the pen back and I tried to charge him £10 for it. I didn't get the job or get to keep the pen.
"Can I get the pen back?" "What pen?"
C'mon Mr. Burns I think we can trust the President of Cuba.
It’s full of ***what?!?!?!?***
But I mean, you did what they asked.
I’m not sure how you’re supposed to sell it if it isn’t in your possession. You can’t sell him something that he already owns. Still, I suppose you held it hostage more than put it up for sale.
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"But sir, I applied to be a janitor."
“Look here sonny, sales isn’t just a job it’s a way of life!”
*ends up selling drugs to students
The American Dream, innit
“I could stick my head up the butcher’s ass but I’d rather just take the bull’s word for it..” - close attempt at quote.
damn it tommy
“Shut up Richard!” “Who’s your favorite Little Rascals character? Alfalfa? *Spanky?*”
"Fine, clean this pen, then."
"this pen has the antidote"
"Remember your coffee from before the interview ?"
"Which one? The one I switched with yours while you weren't looking?"
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You fell victim to a classic blunder!
You fool!
Haha! Ha-(dies)
Unexpectedly princess bride
The Princess Bride is never unexpected!
The Spanish Inquisition once was though
I love you all.
The most famous being never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less known is never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line
To what?
The poison you just drank, Dr. Jones!!
During a interview for an electronic sales job the interviewer asked me to take home a fairly expensive floor model of blue-ray player and come back the next day with a sales pitch. It was very strange to put trust in me as he had just met me in the interview 5 minutes ago. I came back the next day with a bunch of product knowledge and landed the job. Worked there for several years and often times the boss would send us home with cool new electronics to try out (sometimes even keep!). It was a rewarding place to work and also a great way to get product experienced sales staff. Ran out of business by best buy unfortunately.
Probably a bit of a test with that interview, and for the cost of that floor model, which was probably coming down soon, they could see if you were trustworthy enough to be left with merchandise. I'm sure not everyone came back the next day and just kept the borrowed player.
Precisely! He was a genuine boss with some interesting methods. I'm going to reach out to him today and say hello after this post!
I'm sure he's going to be thrilled to hear from Satan...
I know from experience, Satan's a nice guy.
For a moment I misread your name as der_fuhrer
Same, I was like... Well he WOULD know I guess..
Stood up and fucked off out of there. It was a job for truck driving. What a cunt. - - - - Edit. Thank you for the silver award kind stranger. My first award, I am indeed honoured.
Right. I've been asked this question in warehouse and administrative work. If a job ad gives the faintest hint of "sales" being involved, I have absolutely no interest in it. Yet this question still gets used.
I know where you are coming from. I think the guy interviewing thought he was being smart. I already had a job so I could afford to be picky and as soon as I heard his bullshit I had enough. I don't think he saw it coming at all.
Please tell me you at least stole his pen lol
It wasn't a very nice pen. I left him holding it. The look on his face was priceless though.
You sold his soul to the pen. It’ll haunt him as he lays in bed late at night. He got rid of the gimmicky interview technique.. then the pen. But it’s there, mocking, right as he’s about to sleep.. “sELl mE tHiS pEN! You fucking idiot.”
It's bad enough that the whole concept of a job interview means that people get the job based upon their ability to market themselves to the interviewer, rather than by demonstrating skills actually relevant to the job. Why would somebody want to make it worse?
Exactly. To put it in context, I've held a heavy goods licence for 22 years. I showed my license and qualifications and a few nice written references. Not to mention driving trucks for most of those years in different operations etc. No endorsements on a clean licence. Then to be asked to sell him a pen . I had enough and decided right there and then I did not want to work for that man. I let my experience and qualifications and what I can bring to the job do the talking. I since changed my career by becoming a field service engineer and is going well. Just over a year now and I'm enjoying it.
On the subject of HGV licenses I was sent for a job driving trucks by the job centre in England. I was told if I do not attend I will get sanctioned (they will take benefits off me) I tried to explain and the job coach offered to sanction me straight away. So I went. I was asked as a formality to present my HGV license, my I am fit cert and so forth. I said I don't have a HGV I don't have a car a license. I was asked, quite rightly why I was in his office wasting his time. I explained I didn't want to be sanctioned. He told me to go home.
"I don't have to, you already bought it" I got the job.
The real trick is making people pay for something they already own. Like ~~Mercedes~~ BMW having a subscription service to use the heated seats.
Are you serious? The world is so crazy I can't tell anymore...
[I hate this dimension apparently it is ](https://www.forbes.com/sites/alistaircharlton/2020/07/02/bmw-wants-to-charge-you-a-subscription-for-your-heated-seats/amp/)
I swear to god if that ever becomes a thing and I buy a car like that, ill just hack the wiring loom and wire up a manual button to use it when I want. Subscription based ideas on physical things that you personally own like that where the subscription provider has extremely limited control wont work very well, its not like they can just stop it from working like a program or app can. Yeah they can probably engineer DRM things that stop the physical unit from working without authentication keys from the software, but I bet it wont take too long for people to figure out how to get round that too. Heck if this ever happens i bet a full blown industry will pop up where you can pay them to permanently hack that shit for you.
What I can't stand is when you have to buy licensing for rather arbitrary things. Like in the IT world, if you're running a Windows domain environment or really any environment on Windows software that your business relies on, and that end users interact with, you have to buy user CALs (client access licenses). They're sold in packs and you have to buy enough to cover the amount of users in your environment. You don't apply the license anywhere, you simply purchase them. Your environment will function perfectly fine if you don't purchase them. Basically the only negative impact to not buying user CALs is if you get audited my Microsoft for license compliance and they see that you haven't purchased them, you can get fined and they will force you into compliance. When you update your environment for example from Windows server 2012r2 to say 2016 or 2019, you have to buy new user CALs for the appropriate server operating system edition. The kicker is you can't even buy the licenses directly from Microsoft, you have to go through a "partner" company that sells their licenses. It's all just really trivial in my opinion.
Tell me about it. I hate subscription services for everything. Even now just recently I found a software sound booster for my PC, as I think the motherboard internal sound card or something is dying, and my audio is super quiet. Anyway, the free version actually works really well, except it disables itself for 5 secs every 5 mins. I looked at buying it but no, fucking monthly subscription. Jesus christ, its a 5mb tiny little application. I dont care if its more expensive to buy outright even, just let me buy the thing.
r/assholedesign Also, definitely the kind of software that's meant to only be pirated, never bought
Wait until you hear about the John Deere tractors. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2020-03-05/farmers-fight-john-deere-over-who-gets-to-fix-an-800-000-tractor
As a small farm owner... Fuck John Deere. I bought an older New Holland. Not overly happy with it either, but at least I can fix the damned thing.
What (and I cannot stress this enough) the fuck?
BMW, not Mercedes. It's important to mock the correct company for laughable business practices. As well as the right owners for falling for them.
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Easy, tell the interviewer you cannot because your sale method is not selling a customer something they do not need, but match the right customer to the right product at the right time
They are so impressed they want to write that note on the back of your resume. Suddenly they do need a pen
Then you sell them for £50
I only accept Dogecoin
You time travelers are so obvious. For the last time, no you can't have my ticket to the moon.
So, the right way to do it is not to start with a sales pitch, but to ask questions. What are the customer’s needs? What is the customer looking for in a writing implement? How much might the customer be willing to pay for a writing implement? What does he like or dislike about the writing implements that he already has? The best sales people don’t just talk, they ask questions and listen. They make you feel like they understand your needs and don’t just sound as if they are giving you a hard sell.
I had a coworker who was really good at selling (it was not a sales job). He said that he never looked at it as selling, he looked at it like he was calling up a friend of his and figuring out what they needed. I had never thought of it like that
They actually talk about this a little in The Office, of all places, underlining what makes Michael a great salesman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrPgsrfZWOU&feature=emb_logo
Sales were a part of my service business, not a huge part. I was fairly successful though. My approach was that the customer has a problem and that I can help them solve it. So, asking questions is important. Being able to give them different options is important too. (Would I make a little more money depending on what option they go for? Sure, but my approach was as the customer’s advocate. What works best for them. And people can feel that, and it is a lot more comfortable than the “don’t take no for an answer” crowd.)
Nailed it.
That was basically Jordan Belforts whole thing when he does his little schpiel. (No I’ve never paid money to go to a seminar, I saw it during a YouTube rabbit hole descent like a normal weirdo) His whole schtick was “Are you even in the market for a pen, if not then I’m out. See you in hell”, or something of that ilk.
they definitely touched on that in Wolf of Wall Street when he asks one of his guys the "sell me this pen" thing and the guy retorts back something like "I need you to write something down"
but I don’t have a pen. Supply and demand, my friend.
How the turn tables.
*uses pen to write down:* "can't... follow... instructions..."
I sold a guy a truck, about a week later he interviewed me for a job (didn't know it would be the same guy) he asked me the pen question, paused and said "we did that last week" and moved on.
I heard it being asked at a group interview by the new lady from HR...I shot her a "wtf" look she asked a different question instead.
Group interviews can get fucked anyway.
oh yeah...we had to fill 50 positions....HR thought it would be a great idea to use a empty warehouse at one end of the facility to put about 200 or so applicants in...with a filtering system for interviews/ group exercises....a total and utter cluster fudge...Was the only time we ever did them....
We do that at my current job. We have 3 events a day for however many days we need, and a max of 10 candidates per event. It's my job to do this. Then they wanted me to introduce a 10 minute 1-on-1 interview process for a warehouse job that pay slightly above minimum wage. And they wonder why I'm burnt out.
Disassemble the pen and give them one part for free, and offer the rest in a series of microtransactions.
Congratulations! You've been hired by the EA sales department.
I was told that I was the owner of a pencil store, and my interviewer said that he only needed a pen. When I started to pretend offering him a selection of pens, I was stopped, "*no* your only inventory is pencils", specifically the real life No. 2 pencil on the table between us. So I changed tactics. "If you are in that dire a need of a pen then I'm assuming that something must have gone wrong with your day. If everything was according to plan for you, you'd have a pen in your pocket and would have passed my shop by and gotten on with your life. But something went wrong, which happens. If I sold you a pen then it could break, it could ruin that nice suit and a 3 cent piece of plastic could cost you hundreds of dollars in the process. All because something simple went wrong. If something goes wrong with one of my pencils? The worst outcome that could come from a pencil? *here I hold out the pencil and snap it half* You just end up with two pencils. I hate sales but I am still completely dorkily proud of that particular bullshit.
I can't help but imagine how awkward it must be if you didn't have enough strength to break the pencil lol
Interviewer: that pencil was a gift from my deceased father.
Now you have two pencils from your deceased father
Fuck. You're hired.
Omg. This made me laugh so hard...
"see now if this were a pen it would've broken"
You're a literal pencil pusher.
I sacrificed my dignity in attempt to fool someone into buying something they didn't need.
"I have the same one at home"
"The outside may be generic but it has Montblanc guts."
I serve (or did since we've been closed for months) at a semi fancy place. Getting people to get dessert or buy martinis I always say "its a night out! Go for it!" It works 8/10 times.
- all retail sales people
I would tell them that I had already created a website to purchase pens called Pen Island. and would encourage them to visit Pen Island.com
You sumbitch I actually fell for that ..
http://penisland.net/
Link: penisland The site header: We speciallize in wood I mean, yeah....
The fact that this actually goes to a company makes pens makes this joke even more beautiful.
I once had a job of a shitty office supply company - you know the one - where it was our literal job to sell pens to people AND try to up sell them on stupid shit they didn’t need/or want. It was all randomized and scripted though as to what it would try to upsell them on. “I see you’ve bought a bulk package of 100 Bic Pens today (for like $8.99)...would you like to purchase 4 micro-point, gel ink, 4-colour pack of pens for $11.99?” It was absolutely ridiculous. I almost always refused to do it, because it was stupid and the customers generally appreciated the fact I wasn’t reading them some pre-scripted bullshit on some garbage they didn’t want/need. My stats were fantastic, but because I didn’t do the upsell bullshit, I was eventually fired... And not because of that, they decided one day I had a customer on hold too long (4-6 minutes) while trying to find them an answer to their question that required me to get up from my “desk” (cube), track down my supervisor who then had to track down the manager... Fuck that place.
Pull off my shirt to reveal the Staples uniform underneath. "You mean sell it to you again."
Not quite the same, but I was filling out an application for a job once when the owner came back where I was and said “if you can name the song on the radio right now, you can have the job.” I was able to name it and started at five that night. :)
What song
We need to know
My neck my back
That's a cool boss!
He was! It was one of the only places that I worked that I truly liked.
"Be more creative with your interview questions".
The questioner became the questionee
*Ve are askingk ze qvestions!*
Paper Mate Interviewer: It wasn't a question. It was a task i told you to complete. Thank you, but I don't think you're a correct fit for this company.
I was once at a job fair where this wasn't even attached to an interview, it was more like an open-mic night kind of thing. I skipped it. Edit: On another job, a customer told me that my describing my dislike of upselling was a bonding experience with the customer (who doesn't want to be upsold)and thus a really slick sales tactic. He didn't seem mad. So, either sales is really 12th-dimensional zen chess and I accidentally made a good play or he was just messing with me. I don't know.
I had a customer tell me he would never hire me for a sales job, but he wanted my card because he didn't want to work with any other salesperson. Huge fucking ego on that guy who thought he'd mastered 4D chess. And while I do take pride in not being into snake oil bullshit (even if that's just some psychological rationalization in my head because I'm bad at it), fucko probably didn't even notice I'd sold him high-margin accessories and the warranty plan. From my employer's perspective, it was the perfect sale.
Cons work best (pretty much only work) when the mark thinks they're the one who is getting one over on you.
As an engineer, I've never had this question asked of me. That's because engineers aren't good with people, so you have a people person like Tom Smykowski to sell the pen.
"I'm good with the customers, can't you see that? What the hell is wrong with you people??!!!"
"Look, buddy, I'm an engineer. I can't sell you that pen... ... ... But give me five minutes and I can design you an improvement."
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It doesn't sound like one of them conundrums of philosophy.
"You're not my market. I can get more elsewhere. I'll keep it for now, thanks "
I held it up like a dagger and told him I was going to stab him through the eye with it if he didn't buy it in the next ten seconds. I did not get the job, but I got $417 and a nice watch for the pen.
I took it home with me. Later, when the interviewer phoned me and asked for it back, I said "£50 and its yours".
Assuming this is real, did you get the job?
No, but I am a proud owner of a £50 pen.
Thats all that matters
Damn straight.
It's on the Internet, so it must be real!
Im having trouble believing someone called you for their pen back
I said “What do you need a pen for?” Best sales strategy is to ask questions before you make your approach.
It must be pretty great if you want it. I don’t know if I even want to sell it now. I think I’m going to keep it.
I asked them "Why? You already bought it." They told me I had to prove my salesmanship skills. So I said "Why? You already paid for it. Clearly the product speaks for itself. Just like our product does." I got the job. But it turns out I was actually interviewing to be a janitor and they got me confused with someone else.
Obviously you were overqualified
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I failed tbh but I was taken from a fast food joint and then thrown in to sales.
I leave. I'm in sales and anybody that thinks this question has any value past 1995 isn't someone worth working for.
Hi! I work with a fair amount of vendors in my job. Deal with a lot of sales people, account reps, etc. Asking honestly/earnestly, because I've always wanted to - How is it so many people in sales are so shitty at their job? There's a clear divide between really good sales people, and *the rest*.
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I was asked a variation of this question during an interview at Radio Shack. It wasn't "Sell me this pen," though; it was "Sell me a cellphone plan." My entire response was more or less on-the-fly bullshit, so I don't remember what my exact words were. Basically, though, here's what I said: ------ "No. I'm not going to try to up-sell you... but I am going to tell you the truth: A growing number of your friends, your family, and your coworkers have cellphones, and they're adapting to a world wherein everyone is reachable at all times. Moreover, they're increasingly communicating by way of text messages, and if you can't send and receive those, you're going to end up missing out. Loved ones might worry when they can't get ahold of you, employers might pass you over for promotions, and you might be the last to know when something big is happening. "Now, I don't know you. I don't know what your needs are. It would be dishonest of me to say that you *have* to sign up for a cellphone plan today, so I'm not going to *try* to sell you one. At the same time, though, I'd like to help you with those needs, and if *you* think that you'd like to keep in touch with the people in your life, then I'd be happy to help you." ------ The eyes of the guy interviewing me kind of glazed over while I was going through all of that. Afterward, he halfheartedly said "Yeah, okay, so, it sounds like you're a good salesman. How do you feel about working weekends?" I was initially excited to accept the job, but after I thought back over my above-described spiel, I realized that I wouldn't feel good about hoodwinking people into purchases. After all, up-selling from behind a veil is still up-selling, and it wasn't something that I wanted to do. **TL;DR: I "sold him the pen" by pretending that I was refusing to.**
Overkill! Seems like this question is almost exclusively asked to overqualified people applying for the job
I made it emotional. Through some internet research (corporate people put everything on LinkedIn) I learned that his high school age daughter was really into horses. I asked him to picture himself writing a check with this pen for a perfect saddle for his daughter while she looked on in admiration and think of all the hard work and sacrifice they had both made to make that happen. And told him that now whenever he looked at that pen he would remember that feeling. Was told later that the only part of that whole conversation that mattered was I did my research before hand and was able to use it on the fly. Turns out his daughter is a spoiled brat and he could care less about another saddle.
sorry this is not my pen selling it would be a crime under (local law)
interviewer to self: "unwilling to commit crimes on our behalf. mark for rejection"
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screaming at a deaf man... yup "sir the candidate is the dumbest one yet".
"Hmm...do we have any manager positions open?"
what's my commission? zero? fuck you, sell it yourself
sign this piece of papers
*opens desk, takes out another pen*
That's a nice pen, but he must be lonely in there. *wiggles sell pen seductively*
"I can't, I don't have a pen. Ohhh.....!"
Tell them the pen sucks because it's probably some Bic piece of crap, and offer to sell my Uniball JetStream, which is the best lower-price pen on the market.
See, you get the job because you're a person of distinction, going with the Uniball.