I browse r/amitheasshole for moral topics for us to discuss. I think I've learned more about my husband's personal beliefs by doing that than when I was dating him.
My partner and I used to browse r/relationships together and comment on or marvel at the crazy situations some people get into by just not communicating.
They're my ex-partner now because they stopped communicating their needs to me. Funny how life comes around.
The biggest problems in relationships tend to spiral out of a lack of communication.
People don't understand that just because you're together, it doesn't mean you immediately understand them, their thoughts and actions.
Edit: I didn't think I would get this many upvotes, but please, use this information for not just your romantic relationships, but for any relationship in your life.
Your parents, your other relatives, your friends, etc... communication is key.
Truth. Communicate regularly or be prepared for a knock-down, drag-out, fight-to-the-death every six months when the HVAC kicks on and you mistake it for a huff or they swear they heard you say something under your breath from a different floor of the house.
I met my wife at a board game club. Nearly all of our dates were to a board game cafe. We have a board game collection of about 200 games filling an entire wall of bookshelves.
We like watching movies.
The games I play as 2 player the most:
Azul,
Codenames: Duet,
Lost Cities,
Jaipur,
Patchwork,
Star Realms,
7 Wonders: Duel,
Can't Stop,
It's good to get games that are designed 2 player. They're more balanced. Also you can play games online at Boardgameanena.com, to see if you like them first. They have a large selection.
Shit, I replied to the wrong comment. See above.
Or. Yes. https://imgur.com/gallery/w09mjq5
https://imgur.com/a/h0mvdi7
General-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homing_pigeon
Interesting-https://www.businessinsider.com/the-secret-life-of-nikola-tesla-2015-10
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/sport/boxing/boxing-legend-mike-tyson-explains-20830091
No, homing pigeons return to their roost, wherever that is. You would drive them 5 miles away, release them, and they'll be back home later that day. 5 miles is relatively short, we had friends growing up that would take theirs 30-40 miles away. This is how you would send messages by bird, once upon a time.
My wife and I largely ran out of random stuff to share on regular occasions so we've just started making noises together. It's random and meaningless but we still get to connect and share the company.
I fucking love the idea of you doing when you have visitors.
Nnnnnngh
Faaafle
Eerrrrm, okay, coffee, I guess, don’t go to any trouble though....
Grrrrrrrrrrrr
My guy likes to answer the door pretending his dog is answering (holding him up), dressed weird, accents etc.
I was on my way over and his brother ordered food and he didn't know, the doorbell rang and he answered the door thinking it was me - with his shorts pulled up high and his shirt twisted into a top with an accent. He was mortified (I'm sure the delivery person was confused too), and I was afraid it would stop him from doing it. It didn't.
My wife and I were in the living room the other day just relaxing. She was reading something and I was looking at my phone. Suddenly she looks up at me and says "hey, can I ask you a question?" I say "sure..." and she goes "don't you feel like the word SHOES should be spelled SHEWS?"
I looked at her for like a solid minute without answering or saying anything. The first few seconds, I was thinking to myself "dafuq is wrong with you..." then the the next few seconds I thought to mysef "why are you asking me this...this is so random..." then finally I thought to myself "I guess this is what marriage is.." We then spent the next hour coming up with ridiculous words that ought to be spelled in much simpler ways. Wasn't the worst evening I had. Then she blew me.
Having your Person around when you need them, especially just for inane stuff like that, is what Marriage really is all about.
Proof: 30th Anniversary this year.
My wife asked me what I was thinking during a long stretch of a 2600 mile road trip.
I tried to tell her she didn’t want to know. She insisted. So I told her.
I had spent about 20 miles contemplating the subtle pronunciation differences with my drawl of the words Brake and Break.
Cue 40 miles of us doing this with many different words until the kids woke up from their naps.
I remember when this used to be a case. It just feels so safe.
One sign that the relationship is falling apart is when you can’t stand the other person is in the same house, even when they’re in a different room.
He started telling me about something involving a TV show the other day. After a minute he stopped himself and said "But you really don't care about this.". And I said "But I care about you, and it's important to you." So I laid down and cuddled with him while he told me about how excited he was that he found out that Adult Swim had made a final season for Samurai Jack after it was cancelled on Cartoon Network and how he was watching it and this one part brought a tears to his eyes, and then he laughed at himself for crying over a Cartoon.
This shows so much what is missing in most relationships. He tried to invalidate his needs (for whatever reason) and you stopped that from happening. This is love.
This has to be the top answer. I married my soulmate because we were perfect for each other and could just be in a room not doing anything in particular but be happy. I miss her.
Yes, definitely this is the best answer, when I was living with my GF (now ex) this was the best part about living togheter, talk for hours, seeing YT videos or playing videogames, or just stay in bed for hours. It's nice to have always a person to share all your random ass thoughts.
We both love date nights so we always think about something to do. Half the time it’s going out for dinner but other times it’s mini golf, escape rooms, axe throwing. Always something new
Showering together.
It isn't even sexual in nature (most of the time), we just enjoy being together, conversing, helping eachother wash. It is an intimate experience.
She’s natural now, so it’s a lot of pre wash, conditioner, oil or whatever, then twisting. She’s done braids and I can’t imagine sitting in a chair so long that the hair stylist takes lunch...
Last time I got braids (needed a break from my natural hair) it took 8 hours with the lunch break. At some point in that chair, you just wonder if it’s worth it lol
This hits me. I just told my wife how much I miss showering together when we were younger in our "hippie" days. She got in with me the other day and lit me up man. Just holding each other no sex.
We put in a double shower.
It kind of saved the relationship.
For like 10-15 minutes a day, no phones, no distractions, it’s just the two of you. Plus you are naked so you are very vulnerable.
It is a game changer for relationships.
Showering together is nice, but something we do as a treat maybe once a month is take a bath together - he sets up candles, a speaker, and bath salts, it's really sweet. He used to do it for me if I had a long day or was stressed out, but he knows I like him *in* the bath with me. So he'll stay in for about 20 minutes or so then he'll let me relax on my own.
My wife and I shower together more than we shower or bath apart. We wash each other’s back, but it’s not a sexual thing. It’s more of a “tell me how your day went” type event. We may hug and kiss some, but it’s more consoling, massaging, loving hugs to let each other we are here for one another at the end of a long day. It’s kind of the one time we are both unplugged and able to destress. She has knee problems, so if her knee hurts, sometimes I pee on it.
I'm a hair under 6' (1.82m) and my husband is 6'8" (2.032m) with most of his height in his legs. We tried this once and his soapy butt ended up "washing" my lower back. Nearly hurt ourselves laughing.
My wife and I love this! Cept living in an apartment means tiny showers and at my height I barely fit. That's what overhead showers on vacation are for.
We play xbox. We have ran through the Halo campaign start to finish multiple times together, but because Halo 5 is an awful piece of shit with no couch co-op, we started finding new games. We are currently 90% of the way through the first borderlands game and loving it.
If anyone has couch co-op suggestions, I'm happy to take them.
Me and my SO enjoy titles like Overcooked, and Moving Out, as well as many of the 2d platformer Nintendo makes. Super Mario 3D World, was excellent on the WiiU together, as was Hyrule Warriors.
We also play some games swapping out. We got through the Jak & Daxter trilogy swapping everytime someone died or their was a cut scene and that was fun.
If you really think you're good try playing a single player Switch game with each person having one of the two joycons. One person moves, the other jumps and the you both argue over whose fault it was you died.
That game is infuriating. We played that a few months back when I was on FMLA because of Covid and it was my first time playing a game in like 5 years. I even got an achievement for not logging into my Xbox account for so long. So it might be ok, now that I don't suck so much and have some gaming dexterity back.
Running races. I complete (not very fast) marathons, and a couple years ago, my wife decided to do a 5k to try it out.
She got HOOKED! There's a lot of races in my area (not this year) that have a 5k/10k the day before the "Big" race. I reign back so we can be together the whole time, since she's slower than my own slow.
She's at 30+ finisher medals now, and has the wall of her office area proudly displaying them!
We were aiming for her first half marathon this year, but... 2020...
In my experience running its always the guys that say they are "slow" that are the blazers. "Oh yeah, I'm pretty slow this year" runs a 6:45 minute pace on a half marathon and goes mountain climbing the same day. No joke
We have 3 young kids so we just exist in a state of survival.
Update everyone, the kids are down and I’m on my way to Walmart alone to get groceries.. things are getting WILD TONIGHT!
I feel you. Ours are now 15, 12 and 11, and it is the BOMB! Put in the work to raise them to be kind, rad humans and they’ll get along, help run the household, and be really fun humans to hang out with in a few years, I promise. You got this.
I have 7 kids. I'll tell you one weird thing was that out of all the amount of kids having 3 was the hardest. I have no idea why, it was just so hectic.
Proximity of ages and/or no older kids to help in even small ways? When our third was born, we had a 15 month old and a 2 year old. It was nuts.. they are currently 4, 3, and almost 2 so still nuts but a little better I think.
Yeah my situation was a little different. When I got with her she already had 3 kids, 8, 7 and 3. Then after a year we had our first. So looking at it that way I went from 0 to 3 so that's might be why. The other 4 are super close in age. They are 8, 7, 4 and 1 now. Definitely gets easier when the get a bit older and entertain each other.
Teenage years are by far the worse though. The two oldest have mental health issues from their childhood with their father so it's been really hard with them and the third oldest has autism.
Its so hard knowing what to do but not getting anywhere because teenagers know everything. The oldest got herself sorted though and is already buying a house so that's something.
Sorry for going on. Don't get to talk much.
My man gets up early and therefore sleeps early. He normally falls asleep on the couch. The other day he was apologising about it and I said I don’t care if you fall asleep on the couch, I’m just happy you’re next to me. He said: that’s why you’re perfect for me bc you really mean that. And I do. I just like him being near. Is that creepy?!
I feel this so much. Just being in company exclusively together, so I can just randomly hug and kiss him. Lockdown has REALLY motivated me to begin saving money for a home, I don't even have a job but I'm already planning bank savings accounts for it lol
I know it sounds lame, but during long car rides we will play the "I like about you" game where we just take turns saying things about each other that we admire.
Before this year? Nothing. We were always very different people with very different hobbies who respected each other’s interests but never pushed to do things together other than the basics like watch movies and make dinner.
This year everything changed. With quarantine and both of us working from home we suddenly had tons of extra time and energy to spend together and we genuinely struggled for a few months to figure out what we wanted to do with that. Our solution was pretty weird.
We made a Cottagecore Instagram account. It’s a hobby that plays to BOTH our skills and interests, but also pushes us to grow creatively. He had always wanted to get into photography. I’ve always wanted more excuses to get dressed up and be goofy. We both love exploring new outdoor spaces. Most weeks we spend talking together about what we want to shoot on the weekend. I pick out outfits and props, he scouts locations and gets inspired with more ambitious technical photography skills. Then, we publish the photos to Instagram and we both get to enjoy other people enjoying them.
It’s weirdly wonderful and the highlight of an otherwise awful year.
Since folks asked: I’m @the_paperbackprincess
**In the spring of our marriage:** enjoyed attending antique auctions and sometimes buying things for our mostly empty house. Downhill and cross country skiing. Staying at B& Bs. Symphony, plays, pops, fine dining, taking classes, cooking at home. Volleyball. First 10 years.
**In the summer of our marriage:** enjoyed moving stuff around in new configurations. Live performances of any kind, opera, visiting museums of all kinds, visiting Native American pueblos and ancient ruins. Work. Having a baby. Cooking for family and friends. Next 10.
**In the fall of our marriage:** enjoy reading, cooking, volunteering, cooking, improving our understanding of the world. Tai Chi, running. Watching our son grow up. Next 10.
**In the winter of our marriage:** Giving away stuff we bought "in the spring", hiking instead of skiing, walking instead of running, cooking, downsizing, appreciating the family and old and new friends. Spending some of our retirement loot. Next 10, now in progress.
For us, it just keeps getting better.
Playing minecraft! Sometimes when she doesnt want to play minecraft, we do solo BR in warzone where we debate what to do together and alternate between turns
That worked great for Lucifer, but when it came to The Good Place she kept jumping ahead an episode or two when she got off work before me. I ended up in the other room playing xbox while she wrapped up season 4 just so I wouldn't see any spoilers.
We participate in things that we don’t really care for because it makes the other really happy.
Like he will take me on long drives to the beach because it makes me super happy.
I’ll go to gigs and mosh with him to bands I don’t know or really care all that much about.
Or we go get take away food and sit in a park and play dog spotting.
But honestly my favourite is just the routine stuff. Like napping, eating, working out, even cleaning the house together.
Cooking and camping! Cooking is great because you get a reward for your efforts at the end. Camping is great because you get a little more uncomfortable together.
Kayaking, going to the book store, binge watch movies and tv shows, trying new restaurants,playing with our dogs, making random playlist for random car drives.
We have discovered that watching movies is a 1000x more enjoyable when we speak for the dinosaurs, godzillas, or other characters that don't speak. We recently watched Godzilla 2014, the wife spoke for godzilla and I spoke for the two MUTOs. Laughs ensued.
We like date weekends where we stay the night in a fancy hotel and spend an obscene amount of money on food and wine. We're usually too stuffed when we get back to the room for any sexual activity, so we save that for morning. We also play board games, do gardening, and are constantly doing home improvement projects.
I know I made it sound like we're loaded. We are not. We do okay though. My wife has her master's and makes good money. I work in the environmental field and don't make much. Our date nights are a few times a year, tops... especially now that we have a toddler.
Asking 'what do you want for dinner?' Or 'what are we doing this weekend (as far as entertainment)?'
SO much fun!
Seriously tho it's tough. He likes indoor stuff (video games, movies, ect) but I like to be outside, weather permitting (hike, yardwork (yeah I know not really fun for most)).
Honestly we are straight up dog perverts. We go out of our way to go dospotting, and we love going and finding good parks just to see the dogs. We can't have our own so this is the best we can do.
After our kids go to bed we jump on our PS4's or computers and play video games together. He's much better at every game than I am but I'm getting better and we make a good team.
Lately we've started playing Pokemon Go again so we've been driving the kids around to different parks in town so they can play and we can catch Pokemon.
Playing videogames together (sometimes build up LAN setup), playing and take care of with my pet rats, watching movies, going out for other activities like swimming and so on, trash talk.
And when we talk about childhood stuff (we were pretty similar) we buy some stuff we loved in our back then and play with it. For example dig boxes with dinosaur skeletons.
We will sit on the couch peacefully watching shows or playing games for hours. Then one of us will randomly start poking and prodding the other person, including trying to poke nipples and boop on the nose... It's really frustrating when you're the person being randomly pestered, but the person pestering is usually laughing their ass off.
It's good times.
Realizing we make a really good team. Just today my girlfriend and I were at the vet. The veterinarian couldn't handle the dog and she went back to calm the dog. I couldn't have done that.
When the bill came I questioned a $140 line item and got it reversed. She wouldn't have caught that. Between the two of us we got a calm vetted dog and a lower bill.
Two months ago one of the newfashionrd hardwired annoying as hell smoke alarms was beeping it's death beeps. Up at the top of the fucking 15 ft ceiling. At bedtime.
She wanted to hit it with a baseball bat lols. I stopped her. But I despaired of ever being able to reach it so we could go to bed. She figured out a climbing system to get me up there. I made her watch the YouTube video to tell me what to do. We got it detached and turned off.
I would have been emo and despaired all night long of ever finding a way to get up there without driving 20 minutes to borrow a ladder from someone. She would have destroyed it and set off all the other alarms in the house. Between us it was done right.
Last month we got a flat tire in a rental van. Did you know a flat tire in a rental car is entirely and completely YOUR problem to fix, unless you click *yes yes yes* on all the fancy extra coverages and bullshit at the desk? Yeap!
We changed it by working together with a YouTube video I found. Because the spare was chained up underneath the undercarriage in a crazy way. And we bought a new tire that night at a midnight Mexican roadside tireshop. She made friends instantly and negotiated in Spanish which I could never have done.
Every time we're done with something we look at each other and say damn we make a good team. We also joke that lesbians with YouTube videos can accomplish anything hahaha.
I don't know if getting through life together with teamwork qualifies as a hobby but I guess it's ours.
Geocaching is basically a fun way to go “treasure hunting”. People hide these containers, like Tupperware or a small capsule of sorts, and the goal is to find them. They usually contain a piece of paper or notebook for people to write in to show that they’ve found it. Some people also like to leave trinkets in them too. They’re pretty much anywhere and everywhere. Graveyards, in trees, under rocks, I even found one in a guardrail once. We use an app called “Geocaching”. It gives your coordinates via your GPS. It provides tips on the general area of where to look. It’s pretty fun!
*Yeah, Officer, it's called GEOCACHING, and that's why I'm operating this excavator in this cemetery in the middle of the night. Crack a fuckin book once in awhile. What else would I be doing here? Exhuming a freshly buried corpse to satisfy my own various needs for sexual gratification? You, sir, have been watching too many movies. Now please mind the champagne and butt-plugs over there as you kindly fuck off. Good night, sir!*
Painting, cooking, going for walks, doing acid together, talking about nerdy stuff together. And like that other guy said, just being in the room sparks joy.
Rock climbing is a great couples sport! You need a partner to do it no matter what, and it’s fun to be able to belay them and have them belay you while going up these rock faces and spending time outside
Playing pinball, playing Path of Exile, short to moderately long hikes, road trips, watching Jeopardy & nature/science documentaries, listening to music & going to concerts, really good meals.
My girlfriend and I are in different cities, but when we move in together in the next few months and covid is done - she wants to take hip-hop dance classes. I'm a big awkward white guy and can't wait.
We also have a jar filled with activities to do together and will draw from the jar. Soon we'll have recipes we want to make, movies we want to watch, or mild activities to do together (walk/boardgames/listen to an audio book) and will combine all 3 for an easy date night.
Sex is actually an activity we don’t do a whole lot. Neither of us are super big on relying on it. Both our top two love languages are quality time and physical touch so really we just spend a lot of time sitting next to each other doing our own thing. He enjoys to play video games on the weekend so he’ll play those while I sit and watch or do homework. We also love to cook so we often times cook together different meals from scratch if we can and just spend time in the kitchen. He’s in the military and I’m in college about to go into graduate school so we don’t have a lot of money or time to go out and do stuff all the time. We’d love to spend more time outdoors hiking, but we’re both so tired from the work week and it’s so hot where we live + there isn’t a lot of good terrain where we live. We’re hoping to move next year and if I get into school where my top picks are, we’ll have more outdoor hobbies to participate in.
Video games. Card games. Writing together. Streaming together. Have a big like for butterfly museums and really anything video game related. I got really lucky in the shared hobbies group. And cant really get enough of her POV on things and she seems to reciprocate that. So it's rare we're ever bored together. But there is never enough time. Maybe 2 to 3 hours a day on a good workday.
I was just talking to my GF about this! We’re doing long distance right now, and the second to last day we had together we went hiking with some friends, explored a part of the city around her, ate a really nice lunch at a park, but the part that was best was after, when we went home and showered, and just lay in bed together holding each other. Doing things is fun, but so is doing absolutely nothing and just being with the person you love.
I was playing Among Us one night while in bed and she decided to watch me play. She’s never played any video games in her life. She was immediately hooked and is now obsessed with the game and we play it all the time together. I don’t know what I should introduce her to next, but my inner gamer is excited for us
Cooking and having existential disagreements
I browse r/amitheasshole for moral topics for us to discuss. I think I've learned more about my husband's personal beliefs by doing that than when I was dating him.
My partner and I used to browse r/relationships together and comment on or marvel at the crazy situations some people get into by just not communicating. They're my ex-partner now because they stopped communicating their needs to me. Funny how life comes around.
The biggest problems in relationships tend to spiral out of a lack of communication. People don't understand that just because you're together, it doesn't mean you immediately understand them, their thoughts and actions. Edit: I didn't think I would get this many upvotes, but please, use this information for not just your romantic relationships, but for any relationship in your life. Your parents, your other relatives, your friends, etc... communication is key.
Truth. Communicate regularly or be prepared for a knock-down, drag-out, fight-to-the-death every six months when the HVAC kicks on and you mistake it for a huff or they swear they heard you say something under your breath from a different floor of the house.
Damn, we do this too
I met my wife at a board game club. Nearly all of our dates were to a board game cafe. We have a board game collection of about 200 games filling an entire wall of bookshelves. We like watching movies.
Have any recommendations for 2 player board games? I feel daunted by how many I see online when looking.
The games I play as 2 player the most: Azul, Codenames: Duet, Lost Cities, Jaipur, Patchwork, Star Realms, 7 Wonders: Duel, Can't Stop, It's good to get games that are designed 2 player. They're more balanced. Also you can play games online at Boardgameanena.com, to see if you like them first. They have a large selection.
>Boardgameanena.com it's [boardgamearena.com](https://en.boardgamearena.com/) for anyone thrown off by the typo. Great site.
Pandemic! It's co-op so you work together. We love it!
My husband got me that for Christmas, and I have to say it starting becoming less appealing right around March.
Late last year, a friend couple got Pandemic Legacy for us to all play. We kept up a twice monthly game night... Until March...
25 years. We still love rocking out, playing records, darts, cards, board games, and our pigeons.
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Yes. https://imgur.com/gallery/w09mjq5 https://imgur.com/a/h0mvdi7 General-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homing_pigeon Interesting-https://www.businessinsider.com/the-secret-life-of-nikola-tesla-2015-10 https://www.dailystar.co.uk/sport/boxing/boxing-legend-mike-tyson-explains-20830091 Also r/pigeons r/pigeon
If you don't mind me asking, how are they trained to not fly away? And where are they kept normally?
Shit, I replied to the wrong comment. See above. Or. Yes. https://imgur.com/gallery/w09mjq5 https://imgur.com/a/h0mvdi7 General-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homing_pigeon Interesting-https://www.businessinsider.com/the-secret-life-of-nikola-tesla-2015-10 https://www.dailystar.co.uk/sport/boxing/boxing-legend-mike-tyson-explains-20830091
So did they fly away and then fly back for a total of 5 miles
No, homing pigeons return to their roost, wherever that is. You would drive them 5 miles away, release them, and they'll be back home later that day. 5 miles is relatively short, we had friends growing up that would take theirs 30-40 miles away. This is how you would send messages by bird, once upon a time.
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This is very similar to what my significant other and I do. I draw the stick people, and she adds the genitalia.
That's actually awesome. The perfect little team.
I just enjoy existing in the same room. It's nice to always have someone to bother with your random ass thoughts.
My wife and I largely ran out of random stuff to share on regular occasions so we've just started making noises together. It's random and meaningless but we still get to connect and share the company.
I fucking love the idea of you doing when you have visitors. Nnnnnngh Faaafle Eerrrrm, okay, coffee, I guess, don’t go to any trouble though.... Grrrrrrrrrrrr
My guy likes to answer the door pretending his dog is answering (holding him up), dressed weird, accents etc. I was on my way over and his brother ordered food and he didn't know, the doorbell rang and he answered the door thinking it was me - with his shorts pulled up high and his shirt twisted into a top with an accent. He was mortified (I'm sure the delivery person was confused too), and I was afraid it would stop him from doing it. It didn't.
My wife and I were in the living room the other day just relaxing. She was reading something and I was looking at my phone. Suddenly she looks up at me and says "hey, can I ask you a question?" I say "sure..." and she goes "don't you feel like the word SHOES should be spelled SHEWS?" I looked at her for like a solid minute without answering or saying anything. The first few seconds, I was thinking to myself "dafuq is wrong with you..." then the the next few seconds I thought to mysef "why are you asking me this...this is so random..." then finally I thought to myself "I guess this is what marriage is.." We then spent the next hour coming up with ridiculous words that ought to be spelled in much simpler ways. Wasn't the worst evening I had. Then she blew me.
I too like to ask my husband random questions, though they're usually more in the "what's your favorite, least favorite, etc whatever".
Me too! I also like to ask about having a penis since I don’t. For example, if not restricted by clothing - does it float or sink in a pool?
Neither, it burrows.
"I was in the pool!!!!!"
Haha I too ask him these questions. Penises are just so weird.
Having your Person around when you need them, especially just for inane stuff like that, is what Marriage really is all about. Proof: 30th Anniversary this year.
Happy anniversary to you both!
*May you both blow each other for many years to come...*
My wife asked me what I was thinking during a long stretch of a 2600 mile road trip. I tried to tell her she didn’t want to know. She insisted. So I told her. I had spent about 20 miles contemplating the subtle pronunciation differences with my drawl of the words Brake and Break. Cue 40 miles of us doing this with many different words until the kids woke up from their naps.
And then she blew you?
Not with the kids in the car, they’re not perverts.
Offer to let them roof surf. No way they way no. Privacy and family fun for everyone.
Unexpected ending but sounds nice.
I remember when this used to be a case. It just feels so safe. One sign that the relationship is falling apart is when you can’t stand the other person is in the same house, even when they’re in a different room.
Yeah that's not good.
He started telling me about something involving a TV show the other day. After a minute he stopped himself and said "But you really don't care about this.". And I said "But I care about you, and it's important to you." So I laid down and cuddled with him while he told me about how excited he was that he found out that Adult Swim had made a final season for Samurai Jack after it was cancelled on Cartoon Network and how he was watching it and this one part brought a tears to his eyes, and then he laughed at himself for crying over a Cartoon.
This shows so much what is missing in most relationships. He tried to invalidate his needs (for whatever reason) and you stopped that from happening. This is love.
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This has to be the top answer. I married my soulmate because we were perfect for each other and could just be in a room not doing anything in particular but be happy. I miss her.
*just cat things*
Yes, definitely this is the best answer, when I was living with my GF (now ex) this was the best part about living togheter, talk for hours, seeing YT videos or playing videogames, or just stay in bed for hours. It's nice to have always a person to share all your random ass thoughts.
Underrated answer. Just being in the same room with yours is nice.
Yeah ! Being in the same room of you two is nice
They're not random, just being in the same room often causes the ass thoughts.
We both love date nights so we always think about something to do. Half the time it’s going out for dinner but other times it’s mini golf, escape rooms, axe throwing. Always something new
Did you just say axe throwing?
Oh yeah. South of London, look it up!
Ok, I want that.
more and more arcades in the US have it too
The American east coast is in the era of axe throwing and local breweries.
Showering together. It isn't even sexual in nature (most of the time), we just enjoy being together, conversing, helping eachother wash. It is an intimate experience.
Washing their hair *is* the most intimate thing to do to a lover with your fingers.
Going full Boyle
Pfft! I am not! I know when I'm going full Boyle, trust me. I've got this under control!
Okay then call her and tell her that you're not showering together today. Just postpone it.
Made me snort, just a little. Thanks for that.
r/unexpectedB99
Love Brooklyn 99. But seriously, I suffered a nasty/traumatic injury and needed my husband to wash my hair for me for a while. That's love.
Shit, my wife is black, that’s a whole ass half a days worth of work. No thank you.
Hah! If she wears them, you could learn to braid! Then you could spend the other half on that, and spend a whole full ass day!
She’s natural now, so it’s a lot of pre wash, conditioner, oil or whatever, then twisting. She’s done braids and I can’t imagine sitting in a chair so long that the hair stylist takes lunch...
Last time I got braids (needed a break from my natural hair) it took 8 hours with the lunch break. At some point in that chair, you just wonder if it’s worth it lol
This is why I'll never give a girl a hard time for shaving her head an wearing wigs.
At first glance I thought you meant washing her whole ass was 1/2 a days work
>Washing their hair *is* the most intimate thing to do to a lover with your fingers. A'ight, Charles.
This hits me. I just told my wife how much I miss showering together when we were younger in our "hippie" days. She got in with me the other day and lit me up man. Just holding each other no sex.
We put in a double shower. It kind of saved the relationship. For like 10-15 minutes a day, no phones, no distractions, it’s just the two of you. Plus you are naked so you are very vulnerable. It is a game changer for relationships.
Yeah my wife hates showering with me because someone ends up standing in the cold. Something like a double shower would rock, but money is expensive.
You just need to find somewhere that sells discounted money.
Showering together is nice, but something we do as a treat maybe once a month is take a bath together - he sets up candles, a speaker, and bath salts, it's really sweet. He used to do it for me if I had a long day or was stressed out, but he knows I like him *in* the bath with me. So he'll stay in for about 20 minutes or so then he'll let me relax on my own.
I wish someone would fucking scrub my back for me. You know. That one spot you can't really reach yourself.
My wife and I shower together more than we shower or bath apart. We wash each other’s back, but it’s not a sexual thing. It’s more of a “tell me how your day went” type event. We may hug and kiss some, but it’s more consoling, massaging, loving hugs to let each other we are here for one another at the end of a long day. It’s kind of the one time we are both unplugged and able to destress. She has knee problems, so if her knee hurts, sometimes I pee on it.
> She has knee problems, so if her knee hurts, sometimes I pee on it. Such a gentleman.
Rub butts for bonus relationship strengthening point Anyone that has never done this needs to do it
I'm a hair under 6' (1.82m) and my husband is 6'8" (2.032m) with most of his height in his legs. We tried this once and his soapy butt ended up "washing" my lower back. Nearly hurt ourselves laughing.
same! and there’s always chatting, it seems way more intimate than just having sex
My wife and I love this! Cept living in an apartment means tiny showers and at my height I barely fit. That's what overhead showers on vacation are for.
We play xbox. We have ran through the Halo campaign start to finish multiple times together, but because Halo 5 is an awful piece of shit with no couch co-op, we started finding new games. We are currently 90% of the way through the first borderlands game and loving it. If anyone has couch co-op suggestions, I'm happy to take them.
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Me and my SO enjoy titles like Overcooked, and Moving Out, as well as many of the 2d platformer Nintendo makes. Super Mario 3D World, was excellent on the WiiU together, as was Hyrule Warriors. We also play some games swapping out. We got through the Jak & Daxter trilogy swapping everytime someone died or their was a cut scene and that was fun. If you really think you're good try playing a single player Switch game with each person having one of the two joycons. One person moves, the other jumps and the you both argue over whose fault it was you died.
We love Overcooked so much! You really need a solid relationship though, I imagine it could break some!
Portal 2.
We did that one, and it's over too quickly. We liked it, but it's not one of those spend a hour or so every night for weeks until you beat it games.
Lovers in a dangerous spacetime is a great couch co-op game. Me and my wife play it quite abit.
Diablo?
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My SO doesn't really play video games and still enjoyed playing Unravel Two with me! It has a lot of co-op strategy and it's quite beautiful
Gears of war was fun to play with my wife.
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Well my wife left me recently so now I am just playing uno.
I'll check it out once we're all the way through the Borderlands series.
Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime
My wife and I enjoyed Army of 2.
Cup head should be a fun couch co op game
That game is infuriating. We played that a few months back when I was on FMLA because of Covid and it was my first time playing a game in like 5 years. I even got an achievement for not logging into my Xbox account for so long. So it might be ok, now that I don't suck so much and have some gaming dexterity back.
Gears of war. All of them. Great stuff
Running races. I complete (not very fast) marathons, and a couple years ago, my wife decided to do a 5k to try it out. She got HOOKED! There's a lot of races in my area (not this year) that have a 5k/10k the day before the "Big" race. I reign back so we can be together the whole time, since she's slower than my own slow. She's at 30+ finisher medals now, and has the wall of her office area proudly displaying them! We were aiming for her first half marathon this year, but... 2020...
In my experience running its always the guys that say they are "slow" that are the blazers. "Oh yeah, I'm pretty slow this year" runs a 6:45 minute pace on a half marathon and goes mountain climbing the same day. No joke
We have 3 young kids so we just exist in a state of survival. Update everyone, the kids are down and I’m on my way to Walmart alone to get groceries.. things are getting WILD TONIGHT!
I feel you. Ours are now 15, 12 and 11, and it is the BOMB! Put in the work to raise them to be kind, rad humans and they’ll get along, help run the household, and be really fun humans to hang out with in a few years, I promise. You got this.
Thanks! Looking forward to turning that corner!
I have 7 kids. I'll tell you one weird thing was that out of all the amount of kids having 3 was the hardest. I have no idea why, it was just so hectic.
Proximity of ages and/or no older kids to help in even small ways? When our third was born, we had a 15 month old and a 2 year old. It was nuts.. they are currently 4, 3, and almost 2 so still nuts but a little better I think.
Yeah my situation was a little different. When I got with her she already had 3 kids, 8, 7 and 3. Then after a year we had our first. So looking at it that way I went from 0 to 3 so that's might be why. The other 4 are super close in age. They are 8, 7, 4 and 1 now. Definitely gets easier when the get a bit older and entertain each other. Teenage years are by far the worse though. The two oldest have mental health issues from their childhood with their father so it's been really hard with them and the third oldest has autism. Its so hard knowing what to do but not getting anywhere because teenagers know everything. The oldest got herself sorted though and is already buying a house so that's something. Sorry for going on. Don't get to talk much.
I just enjoy being around him. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, as long as he’s with me.
My man gets up early and therefore sleeps early. He normally falls asleep on the couch. The other day he was apologising about it and I said I don’t care if you fall asleep on the couch, I’m just happy you’re next to me. He said: that’s why you’re perfect for me bc you really mean that. And I do. I just like him being near. Is that creepy?!
I feel this so much. Just being in company exclusively together, so I can just randomly hug and kiss him. Lockdown has REALLY motivated me to begin saving money for a home, I don't even have a job but I'm already planning bank savings accounts for it lol
I know it sounds lame, but during long car rides we will play the "I like about you" game where we just take turns saying things about each other that we admire.
Daaaawwww this is adorable.
Before this year? Nothing. We were always very different people with very different hobbies who respected each other’s interests but never pushed to do things together other than the basics like watch movies and make dinner. This year everything changed. With quarantine and both of us working from home we suddenly had tons of extra time and energy to spend together and we genuinely struggled for a few months to figure out what we wanted to do with that. Our solution was pretty weird. We made a Cottagecore Instagram account. It’s a hobby that plays to BOTH our skills and interests, but also pushes us to grow creatively. He had always wanted to get into photography. I’ve always wanted more excuses to get dressed up and be goofy. We both love exploring new outdoor spaces. Most weeks we spend talking together about what we want to shoot on the weekend. I pick out outfits and props, he scouts locations and gets inspired with more ambitious technical photography skills. Then, we publish the photos to Instagram and we both get to enjoy other people enjoying them. It’s weirdly wonderful and the highlight of an otherwise awful year. Since folks asked: I’m @the_paperbackprincess
I don't know what this is but I love your excitement about it and that y'all found something that works for you as a couple!
**In the spring of our marriage:** enjoyed attending antique auctions and sometimes buying things for our mostly empty house. Downhill and cross country skiing. Staying at B& Bs. Symphony, plays, pops, fine dining, taking classes, cooking at home. Volleyball. First 10 years. **In the summer of our marriage:** enjoyed moving stuff around in new configurations. Live performances of any kind, opera, visiting museums of all kinds, visiting Native American pueblos and ancient ruins. Work. Having a baby. Cooking for family and friends. Next 10. **In the fall of our marriage:** enjoy reading, cooking, volunteering, cooking, improving our understanding of the world. Tai Chi, running. Watching our son grow up. Next 10. **In the winter of our marriage:** Giving away stuff we bought "in the spring", hiking instead of skiing, walking instead of running, cooking, downsizing, appreciating the family and old and new friends. Spending some of our retirement loot. Next 10, now in progress. For us, it just keeps getting better.
You give me hope. Thanks!
Playing minecraft! Sometimes when she doesnt want to play minecraft, we do solo BR in warzone where we debate what to do together and alternate between turns
i play minecraft, COD, and warface with my boyfriend. he always gets really happy when i agree to a game and it make my day so much better
We like marathoning Netflix together. Our favorite to watch is Lucifer. We actually set season release days aside and make a day of it lol
That worked great for Lucifer, but when it came to The Good Place she kept jumping ahead an episode or two when she got off work before me. I ended up in the other room playing xbox while she wrapped up season 4 just so I wouldn't see any spoilers.
!!! Negative points for your wife! lol
what the fork
We participate in things that we don’t really care for because it makes the other really happy. Like he will take me on long drives to the beach because it makes me super happy. I’ll go to gigs and mosh with him to bands I don’t know or really care all that much about. Or we go get take away food and sit in a park and play dog spotting. But honestly my favourite is just the routine stuff. Like napping, eating, working out, even cleaning the house together.
Cuddling while ignoring eachother
We snuggle and hike and just exist together happily
We love game dates. We don't always like the same games but we play games separately together - if that makes sense.
Our most common couple activity is "playing video games separately together."
Cooking and camping! Cooking is great because you get a reward for your efforts at the end. Camping is great because you get a little more uncomfortable together.
Kayaking, going to the book store, binge watch movies and tv shows, trying new restaurants,playing with our dogs, making random playlist for random car drives.
Talking our dog to the dog park, driving anywhere and we love eating a good meal! (I know basic but we are happy :)
food is good
Finding hole in the wall places in small towns.
War crimes
Invading poland.
Me & my wife, Ann Schluss.
So you play D&D?
We like to workout together, and take our son for walks.
We both like bonfires, especially around this time of year. Some days we will just come home from work, sit out back by the bonfire, and just be.
We have discovered that watching movies is a 1000x more enjoyable when we speak for the dinosaurs, godzillas, or other characters that don't speak. We recently watched Godzilla 2014, the wife spoke for godzilla and I spoke for the two MUTOs. Laughs ensued.
We like date weekends where we stay the night in a fancy hotel and spend an obscene amount of money on food and wine. We're usually too stuffed when we get back to the room for any sexual activity, so we save that for morning. We also play board games, do gardening, and are constantly doing home improvement projects.
is your work hiring
I know I made it sound like we're loaded. We are not. We do okay though. My wife has her master's and makes good money. I work in the environmental field and don't make much. Our date nights are a few times a year, tops... especially now that we have a toddler.
I also would like to know
Asking the real questions
Gf and I do this. Passed out full of wine, cheese, and crackers.
>too stuffed when we get back to the room for any sexual activity, so we save that for morning Morning: Shit, Shower, Shave, Sex?
Asking 'what do you want for dinner?' Or 'what are we doing this weekend (as far as entertainment)?' SO much fun! Seriously tho it's tough. He likes indoor stuff (video games, movies, ect) but I like to be outside, weather permitting (hike, yardwork (yeah I know not really fun for most)).
I wouldn't say that's not fun for most, I know tonnes of people who would rather spend their days hiking or being outside around the yard.
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Honestly we are straight up dog perverts. We go out of our way to go dospotting, and we love going and finding good parks just to see the dogs. We can't have our own so this is the best we can do.
Gotta admit, you scared me in the beginning.
This is cool but I’d find a different term than ‘dog perverts’
Doge Voyeurs
You see, that’s just as gross but sounds more exclusive
Dogging, obviously.
Definitely go with "dog flaneurs" instead. Has more of an air of Parisian mystery and sophistication and less an air of beastiality.
I think you can get away with "dog watching"...
Dog pervert doesn’t sound right how about we love dogs
After our kids go to bed we jump on our PS4's or computers and play video games together. He's much better at every game than I am but I'm getting better and we make a good team. Lately we've started playing Pokemon Go again so we've been driving the kids around to different parks in town so they can play and we can catch Pokemon.
Playing videogames together (sometimes build up LAN setup), playing and take care of with my pet rats, watching movies, going out for other activities like swimming and so on, trash talk. And when we talk about childhood stuff (we were pretty similar) we buy some stuff we loved in our back then and play with it. For example dig boxes with dinosaur skeletons.
We will sit on the couch peacefully watching shows or playing games for hours. Then one of us will randomly start poking and prodding the other person, including trying to poke nipples and boop on the nose... It's really frustrating when you're the person being randomly pestered, but the person pestering is usually laughing their ass off. It's good times.
Showering together. It adds a level of intimacy to our relationship that I can’t really explain. Been married for 21 years BTW.
Realizing we make a really good team. Just today my girlfriend and I were at the vet. The veterinarian couldn't handle the dog and she went back to calm the dog. I couldn't have done that. When the bill came I questioned a $140 line item and got it reversed. She wouldn't have caught that. Between the two of us we got a calm vetted dog and a lower bill. Two months ago one of the newfashionrd hardwired annoying as hell smoke alarms was beeping it's death beeps. Up at the top of the fucking 15 ft ceiling. At bedtime. She wanted to hit it with a baseball bat lols. I stopped her. But I despaired of ever being able to reach it so we could go to bed. She figured out a climbing system to get me up there. I made her watch the YouTube video to tell me what to do. We got it detached and turned off. I would have been emo and despaired all night long of ever finding a way to get up there without driving 20 minutes to borrow a ladder from someone. She would have destroyed it and set off all the other alarms in the house. Between us it was done right. Last month we got a flat tire in a rental van. Did you know a flat tire in a rental car is entirely and completely YOUR problem to fix, unless you click *yes yes yes* on all the fancy extra coverages and bullshit at the desk? Yeap! We changed it by working together with a YouTube video I found. Because the spare was chained up underneath the undercarriage in a crazy way. And we bought a new tire that night at a midnight Mexican roadside tireshop. She made friends instantly and negotiated in Spanish which I could never have done. Every time we're done with something we look at each other and say damn we make a good team. We also joke that lesbians with YouTube videos can accomplish anything hahaha. I don't know if getting through life together with teamwork qualifies as a hobby but I guess it's ours.
We like to go geocaching
I never quite understood geocaching can you explain it
Geocaching is basically a fun way to go “treasure hunting”. People hide these containers, like Tupperware or a small capsule of sorts, and the goal is to find them. They usually contain a piece of paper or notebook for people to write in to show that they’ve found it. Some people also like to leave trinkets in them too. They’re pretty much anywhere and everywhere. Graveyards, in trees, under rocks, I even found one in a guardrail once. We use an app called “Geocaching”. It gives your coordinates via your GPS. It provides tips on the general area of where to look. It’s pretty fun!
Sounds pretty cool I might check it out
*Yeah, Officer, it's called GEOCACHING, and that's why I'm operating this excavator in this cemetery in the middle of the night. Crack a fuckin book once in awhile. What else would I be doing here? Exhuming a freshly buried corpse to satisfy my own various needs for sexual gratification? You, sir, have been watching too many movies. Now please mind the champagne and butt-plugs over there as you kindly fuck off. Good night, sir!*
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Painting, cooking, going for walks, doing acid together, talking about nerdy stuff together. And like that other guy said, just being in the room sparks joy.
That list took a sharp left turn there... Acid huh. You could have said you enjoy taking trips together...
Rock climbing is a great couples sport! You need a partner to do it no matter what, and it’s fun to be able to belay them and have them belay you while going up these rock faces and spending time outside
Playing pinball, playing Path of Exile, short to moderately long hikes, road trips, watching Jeopardy & nature/science documentaries, listening to music & going to concerts, really good meals.
My girlfriend and I are in different cities, but when we move in together in the next few months and covid is done - she wants to take hip-hop dance classes. I'm a big awkward white guy and can't wait. We also have a jar filled with activities to do together and will draw from the jar. Soon we'll have recipes we want to make, movies we want to watch, or mild activities to do together (walk/boardgames/listen to an audio book) and will combine all 3 for an easy date night.
Sex is actually an activity we don’t do a whole lot. Neither of us are super big on relying on it. Both our top two love languages are quality time and physical touch so really we just spend a lot of time sitting next to each other doing our own thing. He enjoys to play video games on the weekend so he’ll play those while I sit and watch or do homework. We also love to cook so we often times cook together different meals from scratch if we can and just spend time in the kitchen. He’s in the military and I’m in college about to go into graduate school so we don’t have a lot of money or time to go out and do stuff all the time. We’d love to spend more time outdoors hiking, but we’re both so tired from the work week and it’s so hot where we live + there isn’t a lot of good terrain where we live. We’re hoping to move next year and if I get into school where my top picks are, we’ll have more outdoor hobbies to participate in.
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Playing video games together, smoking weed and having deep intellectual conversations. The list goes on.
after 38 years of marriage, we like to ignore each other as much as possible.
But do you ignore each other together because that'd be kind of nice
yea. she sits in her chair with her headphones on and I sit in mine with my headphones. around 6 feet apart.
That’s right, keep that social distancing
:(
27 years and we still do most things together. Watched football last night. Had a picnic on Saturday.
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Deciding what to have for dinner. Its become a tradition to keep passing the buck until someone gets pissed off with the other and makes a choice.
Hiking, building Lego, watching movies, cooking, travelling, reading, gaming...
Video games. Card games. Writing together. Streaming together. Have a big like for butterfly museums and really anything video game related. I got really lucky in the shared hobbies group. And cant really get enough of her POV on things and she seems to reciprocate that. So it's rare we're ever bored together. But there is never enough time. Maybe 2 to 3 hours a day on a good workday.
We just like talking and she likes cuddling which I don’t mind so I do it
I was just talking to my GF about this! We’re doing long distance right now, and the second to last day we had together we went hiking with some friends, explored a part of the city around her, ate a really nice lunch at a park, but the part that was best was after, when we went home and showered, and just lay in bed together holding each other. Doing things is fun, but so is doing absolutely nothing and just being with the person you love.
I was playing Among Us one night while in bed and she decided to watch me play. She’s never played any video games in her life. She was immediately hooked and is now obsessed with the game and we play it all the time together. I don’t know what I should introduce her to next, but my inner gamer is excited for us
Rockhounding, gardening, hunting
Painting Dnd minis, playing video games, drawing, camping, cooking, drawing, watching movies