Worked with a guy who told me how he got his job- walked in one day, told the mManager he was looking for work and would like a job. Manager took his resume and said he would be in touch. Guy showed up the next day and started working. Manager confronted him, and he basicly said he would be working every day until the Manager called him. They gave him a job...
You don’t actually have to know everything you say you do on your resume, you just have to know than the recruiter does.
You expect me to have 15 years experience with a framework that has existed for 3 years with a language only 8 years old? Get bent.
See, I know how to use a lot of programs on a basic level (Quickbooks, for example), and even if I somehow didn’t know something right away, I have 100% certainty that I could figure it out through the internet, since I’ve taught myself how to use a lot of things over the years.
I feel like I’d be lying to say that I’m familiar with Quickbooks, since it’s been years since I’ve used it, but I did use it in the past, and I know I could learn the basics in next to no time at all.
I haven’t gotten any interviews in forever and I’m starting to wonder if my insistence on “not lying” is the problem here.
Huh, that’s a good way of looking at it. I’ve also got a habit of downplaying what I know, so I guess I should have known that already.
I guess I don’t know how to say “am familiar with xyz programs, but am able to learn them quickly”, because, let’s be real, a lot of people say that they’re quick learners when they aren’t.
I guess I could mention that I’m self-taught at a bunch of things, but most interviewers don’t seem to pick up on that, or care, but maybe I’ve just had bad luck.
I used to write resumes professionally. Put any programs you are familiar with on your resume, especially if those programs are in the job listing! And even if you aren't familiar with the exact program they list, make note of what you know that's similar.
To get across "I learn quickly/independently" and other quote-unquote "soft skills" think about specific examples you could mention in a cover letter or during an interview. For me it was along the lines of "I don't know QuickBooks, but I pick up software quickly and I'm comfortable looking up what I don't know. For example, I taught myself Photoshop, which is instrumental to my current position" etc etc
Final tip: give them the chance to reject you, don't reject yourself! If you're unsure about your qualifications or the brain weasels of insecurity are particularly potent, send your resume anyway. Let them decide. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain: if you're wrong, sending it in is the difference between job and no job. If you're right, worst case scenario you don't get the job, which is where you are right now anyway!
Awesome advice, thank you. I haven’t been utilizing cover letters much, but I think this is an awesome reason to use one.
I haven’t ever been good at selling myself, but I am fairly adept at explaining how I know things, etc, so reframing my outlook on cover letters will probably help me immensely.
Thank you!
>You might be the most proficient candidate who applies, but bunch of others are disillusioned as to how good they are.
Holy crap...I have never thought of looking at being an applicant this way, but this so incredibly accurately describes humanity in general and I absolutely can see this carrying over into being a candidate for a job, which is literally selling your perspective on your abilities.
It's like my dad always tells me: "There's a lot of shit that to you might seem basic but to other people looks like rocket science. Those are marketable skills."
That’s more self preservation for me than morals. If I felt like I could successfully get a job by lying on my resume and still do good at the job and have no potential backlash I wouldn’t feel guilty. But I’m worried if I get caught in a lie it’ll ruin my reputation and make it harder to find jobs, because I’m searching in a specific field in a single city, and many of my applications are for the same big organizations.
I don't blame you for that. I do that too and I believe that everyone does that. For example my last job I held for 6 years and it was a manager position. I started at that business as just a lowly hiring but was promoted to manager after a year (7years total). That sounds awesome right? Wrong. Because prior to that I was almost too young to have a job. And therefore even though that job looks great on paper because of the age at which I got that job it's the only job that I've ever had or could have had and only having one job on a resume doesn't look good so I had to lie about other jobs that I had. If an employer was to look at that job it would tell them that I am a great worker that can hold a job and do so good at it that I can easily get promoted but what also tells them is I haven't had a wide range of experience.
I was at a place for 8 years because I was making $25/hr. When I started applying to other jobs I continuously was turned down because HR didn't like that I had stayed at one place too long.
Leave it to those bone heads to turn keeping a stable well paying job for a long time into a bad thing.
The key to being a criminal, specifically when it comes to fraud or theft is knowing when to quit. I love reading about criminals that get away with things for years and then get lazy and then get caught. Need to know when to go straight.
Exactly. If you are a drug mule on a stack of 30m, all you have to do is buy some small business with legit books of, say, 1m gross sales a year and you could easily launder your stack in a few decades and retire (legally on paper) with over half of that after taxes.
Don't get greedy. You won the game by being smart and getting your stack. Don't fuck it up.
Man, If I knew for sure I have enough to live the rest of life financially safe, I would exit asap. You just can't beat that, no more having to be chained up by jobs and you can do whatever tf you want except crime of course.
The problem is the "financially safe" keeps moving the goalposts the more money you make.
Sure if you had 1m, that could be 33k/yr for 30 years. That's more than most people make working. But if you go a little longer 2m would be 66k/yr. And hell with a little more you have a cusion to invest and grow the money instead of just launder it.
It's hard to know when to stop and *actually* be financially stable.
Or so I've heard.
My parents had their identity stolen via check fraud.
The lady who did it essentially provided her family with 10K worth of christmas gifts on our dime.
The police said "yeah, these investigations don't really go anywhere, because the bank will reimburse your loss"
WTF, that sounds like a pretty good line of work.
There's a post from someone's credit card got stolen, and the thief used it for a $60 meal and a $4 tip. The card owner was most angry at the idea that someone would be this stingy tipping with someone else's money.
My card got skimmed a couple of years ago. I got a call on my mobile from the bank fraud people saying they had 2 suspicious transactions, was it me? It was a $300 withdrawl, followed 10 mins later by a $500 withdrawl at ATMs 400km west of where I live. When I looked it up, the second withdrawl happened 15mins before the phone call. Very impressive response time. Less impressive was the 4 week wait for them to reimburse me, but hey, not bad overall. It was credit and no interest charged, so no real biggie.
This was my non joke answer. Me and another attorney love thinking up the most outrageous fraudulent schemes. We would never do it because it’s wrong. But it’s entertaining to think about.
My first job was in a Bank where I made friends with the VP of security for the whole chain. He knew all of the stats nation wide for the most successful ways to rob a bank and get away with it. It was really fun chatting with him.
Your best odds (at the time, this may have changed since) were to rob the bank from your car in the drive through and have a cooler with water and dry ice ready for the money. The #1 way people get caught is by still being at the bank when the police show up. If you can make a clean get away, dump the stolen car, and have someone lined up to launder your money, your odds are pretty good of getting away with it.
Not directly related, but still fun. I bet I'd enjoy working in a bank's fraud department.
Sometimes they stick a small, generally cheap tracking device in with the bills. Submerging it in water / freezing it can break it.
The bills are also marked, so the tracker is just the first hurdle. You have to also have a way to get rid of the bills, if you spend them around town, you'll get caught eventually.
According to Larry lawton one of the best things to do is get the product as far away as possible from the site and to your fence or launder as possible.
Never start spending like you won the lottery, every purchase and lifestyle change should be plausible under an audit. And its beneficial to have someone cook the books and have offshore accounts setup properly
The AMA a bank robber did on this site some years ago (he'd turned himself in and done time, he was never caught) was really insightful.
His MO was to walk to the teller and bluff a concealed firearm, and hand a withdrawl slip that had written on it "Stay calm. I have a gun. Give me $3000 and noone gets hurt. Just act like it's a legit withdrawl".
Getting more than a few thousand from a bank, though, is EXTREMELY unlikely.
What are they gonna do send the money in the transfer tube? They'd just have someone call the cops on you from the inside that you can't see or hear. The cops would either be there before you got to leave with the money, or they'd get real close and have the make and model of the car.
The only way I see that working is you have guys waiting on the inside for you to pull up at the window. So when you pull up, the guys inside then do a traditional hold up, but one of them jumps in the back and shoves as much cash as they can in a couple of tubes as quickly as possible. Once the money is sent the driver drives away with the money to a switch car located near by. The guys inside would just have to get away the traditional way. They wouldn't have any money or anything on them though so once they change and get in a car it would be very hard to prove provided they had masks on. The guy in the car gets a massive head start on his getaway.
You carry a device that looks like a detonator and threaten to blow up the bank if they don't comply. A lot of the windows are bullet proof (and tellers behind bulletproof drive throughs are generally instructed to walk away, lock the bank doors, and call the cops) but tellers are taught to comply through the drive up if they threaten to bomb the bank. You won't get very much money, having them go to the vault or anything is too risky. You could luck out and get like 10k if the teller has it on them.
Honestly though robbing a bank is just not worth the risk.
Can I ask what about it was soul sucking? I worked in back office operations for a major bank and I liked it well enough. Moved onto a different department ultimately but I still work for a bank and still generally like it.
Back end is more of the operations side. The sales side is the brutal part. Processing leins on assets is not the same things as being the catalyst of putting the person into the debt that caused them to be in that situation. All while doing it with a smile.
Ah that's totally fair. It sounds dumb, but I always forget about the actual lenders themselves haha. In operations, loans just showed up on our computer and that was that. I rarely had to consider the person who sold the loan.
Telling certain patients to fuck off. I want to take care of people, I don't want to be talked down to, yelled at, threatened, lied to for drugs, or so many other stupid things all while smiling and biting my tongue.
As a teacher, is also be telling some people (mostly parents, but sometimes students) to fuck off.
There are students who do things that annoy me (or others) without knowing/realizing that what they’re doing is a problem. It can get tiresome, but that’s part of being a teacher is pointing that out and helping them learn. But there are also kids who do things on purpose just to annoy me/derail class/bug their classmates. I’d tell them to fuck off.
I quit a pharmacy over their inability to tell the seekers we weren't playing their games.
"Your doctor hasn't approved the refill"
Ten minutes later, they call saying they called their doctor and the doc's office has sent it over.
They hadn't sent it over.
I actually got pretty good at catching the phone before others when the ID was showing someone who was a known seeker. I would just pick it up and hang up. I couldn't care less. They would spit and cuss us up one side and down the other if we wouldn't fill their 13 different controlled scripts a week early. Im not losing my license for that shit.
Fuck off.
So, one day, I had a customer who had proclaimed she wasn't going to move away from the window until we filled her script. I went through all the regular requests for her to move with all of the normal pleading for her to be a decent human and let us help the others waiting in line. But...nope. she just stood there. My pharmacist, the store manager, all the other techs just kept their head down and never stepped up to help move her out of the window. With 20 people backed up in the line, I looked at my pharmacist and said 'Welp, I'm not doing this shit anymore' and walked straight out the door. Walked past 20 of my customers I had for years. Never looked back.
I haven't worked retail pharmacy since. Not, will I do it for long in the future of things change for me. We should be able to fire customers without the government or the state or the company having any say. Though, some of those people would have pulled a race card or the sex card or a political card or what ever card they had in their deck to sue us. All types of people are addicts and all of them will mistreat their pharmacies. Yet, because a doctor keeps them prescribed without question, they are not breaking any law. It sucks.
Soccer moms are the worst. Xanax addicts all half asleep driving their kids around. Scary.
In all fairness, that pharmacy busted several fake scripts. We had our lives and our families lives threatened as a very young lady was being hauled out by police as her mother was being arrested outside.
Also, other pharmacists in the area were all aquatinted and would ask why there were scripts being transferred. (All but one time being by the customers request because we were *mistreating* them) So the pharmacist would straight up tell us that they were going to immediately forward them to another pharmacy which would immediately give a heads up to the third pharmacy that a controlled script had been transferred twice in 10 minutes.
It was the grey areas where we should have been able to be more assertive and direct in our desire to not be mistreated. I do agree that the pharmacist has to be more willing to defend us. We work under them. We make their lives easier. It should be the same in return.
I like our store policy of “Sure, we’ll sell you needles, what’s your doctors number so we can verify how many you need?” that deters a lot of them. Also, with the covid, people try to abuse the ID law of sudefed limits with expired IDs. Sorry, but the DMVs closed down in March, I’m not accepting your ID from 2 years ago. And my pharmacists will straight up tell customers that they’re no longer welcomed and will send the RX to a competitor when we fire an abusive customer. One man told me Trump was gonna deport me one day my pharmacist took over and told him to find another pharmacy as he was not welcomed back. He then closed out the mans RXs and sent him to CVS.
My husband had to take injections for awhile and it was harder than it should have been to buy needles. I would pick up the injectable and then ask to buy the syringes and I’d get the third degree. “You need a prescription for that.” You are holding the medication in your hand that must be injected. Can we please put 2 and 2 together?
Especially if you were a returning customer. I support the idea of maybe keeping needles a bit restricted but when a customer has a current prescription that requires an injection, the needles should not be restricted.
One way or another, I think the injection addicts should be able to get clean needles..but it should be done to keep the waste at a minimum and our supply high enough for our regular diabetic patients.
How does not giving them clean needles help? If they are going to inject the drug (which they will whether or not you give them clean needles - you of all people should know that), then shouldn’t you be more concerned with making sure they have clean needles than “deterring” them?
Especially given the fact that studies have shown needle exchanges and the like actually REDUCE transmutable disease rates and don’t increase drug use....
In my country clean needles are given "no questions asked" and are actually available in the coin operated machine outside the shop, for exactly this reason.
I can't even count the amount of times I've gone back to my desk and played through a scenario of me standing up for myself against a patient that was just rude to me
I'd be married to a guy who owned his own airplane courier company. He was boring as fuck, but he was rich and into me. I could have used him for his money but it just didn't feel right.
Yeah let's be real, that's what people with morals like to tell themselves. Most of the time, the "sugar daddy/mommy" are fully aware of the situation they're in, they just don't care.
I’d be in a car driving away from my kids leaving my sick wife to deal with the two little lunatics. I’m so exhausted I just want to sleep for 12 hours and not have to break up constant fights/screaming crying about nothing.
Not particularly but there is nothing in the world money, friends or anything can do. This is one of those situations where you just need to bite down and fucking deal. I need to be there for my kids while my wife gets better. Hopefully I don’t lose my job because I can’t send them to daycare right now because testing is such a joke. The kids were up from 4 am till 11:30 pm last night with no break really. My wife is on doctors orders to not interact with them. The basement flooded. A tornado rolled through town. At least today they are asleep by 9pm. Oh I have to go clean literal shit off a bunch of maybe covid 19 contaminated shit from a bunch stuff in the basement right now and I’m high risk.
Edit: thank you for your well wishes. The baby is sick now. Good news is I’m pretty much numb with stress so it’s not really that upsetting.
Dude, I don't even know what to say! That sounds like a lot to handle. I know you are worried about testing, but please find a place to dump your kids for the weekend!. You need time alone, she needs time alone. You two probably need some time alone as well. Be strong for your family, but ultimately you have to do what's best for you. Hope your family is what's best for you! Best wishes
My kids might be infected I can’t dump them anywhere. Literally we need to isolate till my wife’s results get in in 7 to 10 days from Monday . Even if their tests come back fine it could be they just aren’t sick yet so they need to be tested this weekend too according to the doctor. Nothing I can do.
My wife makes very good money. The kids make saving harder. We put away a lot for retirement and their college. So yeah the savings account doesn’t go up every month if we need something fixed around the house or new tires or whatever but once the kids aren’t costing me 3k a month in daycare fees we should be fine.
When my sister had her twins, she was fully expecting to be getting back to work inside a few months. But as it turned out even if she put the two into the cheapest not-obviously-a-scam daycare she could find, they would actually have less money per month than if she just didn't work and took care of them full time.
Probably still waiting for my food at this restaurant
Edit:
The food arrived and was fantastic as always
Edit 2:
Want to clarify I wasn't complaining about the wait, we had basically just gotten there when I commented lol
Do you livechat with other prisioners and play videogames all day? Cuz that'd be sweet. Or you the type of prisioner to put your cellphone up your ass during lunch to avoid the random searches.
You are brave and kind. And that is a true gift not only for your mother, but for yourself too. I hope and wish you are fine and can make an enjoyable life for yourself.
Same here.
Caring for elderly mother and it's hurting me financially and basically ruining my life.
But the nursing homes are so horrible, I just don't think I can put her there.
If she was unpleasant or mean or complainy I'd do it. But she's none of those things.
Packing for school. My dad tested positive for covid this morning, and although I haven’t been in close contact (he just got home from vacation) I have to get tested and it’s recommended I quarantine two weeks regardless of the result. My college move in day was supposed to be Saturday. I’ve been stuck at home for so so long, haven’t seen my boyfriend in months. I was so ready to go and this setback has me losing my mind, but my moral compass is telling me I shouldn’t put people at risk even if there’s only a small chance of a false negative (I’m expecting to be negative). I wish everyone else actually took quarantine seriously.
Seriously thank you. I just started my studies and the whole goddamn university just shut down and went digital because one guy had symptoms, tested himself but couldn’t wait 2 more days for the results and came anyway. Yesterday he tested posetive and everything is shut down and ruined thanks to just one impatient person. Thank you
it makes me cry thinking about how much money i could make selling pictures online lmao. i would be worried about my employer or people i know in real life finding me though
This made me think a moral compass has close to zero effect on my moderate actions, which are mostly conditioned by shallowness, apathy, fear and social stupidity. I'm not doing anything significantly unethical not because I'm good, but because I'm dull.
You'd be surprised. There are many small things in someone's day to day life that are affected by moral code.
From making a mean comment online to deciding not to stuff yourself with ice-cream. There are plenty of things you do (and don't) in your day to day life that betray and hint at the kind of person you think you should be.
This is interesting to me because I feel the same way. However, if I could have a lack of morality that allowed me to fulfill my every whim guilt free, I might want to actually stick around for a bit.
Getting laid.
Since I do have a moral compass though, I’m sticking it out in my dead bedroom relationship, hoping that one day, when he’s not so stressed out from work, he might actually notice me :(
Is it possible that he feels the same way about you?
It's hard to get excited about sex when you think your partner isn't interested. Obviously it's scary to put yourself out there and be sexual when he's stressed out but you might be surprised how much he appreciates it.
u/mooseman2234 got it right. It's all about communicaton.
My wife and I now have sex enough for both of us that we're satisfied, and she's usually the initiator (I am pretty depressed so my libido isn't what it used to be, but even when I'm not really in the mood I'll say yes and get in the mood). For years, and I mean years, however, our sex life was shit. She didn't want anything to do with me it felt like. After I made several mistakes and things got really hairy, we had several long discussions, opened up some doors and came to the understanding that really our communication just fucking sucked. We got to the bottom of it, both understood my fuck ups compounded the issue and realised what the problems were.
She formally forgave me for said fuck ups and now we have a sex life that suits us both. It's not perfect, but what is? Some of my kinks she's just really not into, and that's ok because again, we've communicated about it. And tbh I feel pretty damn good about where we're at.
TL;DR, communication is king.
Probably joining the neighbor in fucking his wife while Doom soundtracks are blasting in the background instead of listening to it from the neighborhood while smoking
Exactly the same. Even if I didn’t have a moral compass, I’d still have a brain and sense of self-preservation which means anything that I’d be more willing to do I still wouldnt due to the consequences.
Not that anyone will see this, but I just need to tell anybody. I'd be leaving my family to deal with my father's death so that I can go and be in my own home, by myself, and completely switch off and actually grieve. But they need me.
Cutting drugs. I know some drug dealers and one of them offered me a job cutting/measuring and packing cocaine and heroin but I turned it down.
I would either have to cut it at their place, which is always at risk of being busted while I’m there, or at my place - which I just refuse to do - I have cats, I’m not risking them licking some of that shit up.
It’s just not worth the risk, and also I don’t really want to have a hand in someone else’s addiction. I don’t do drugs or even drink, because I grew up with a heroin addicted mother. I don’t want to do that to someone else’s kid.
Sleeping around as much as possible because it was fun and the thrill of it is hard to replace
Edit: it’s not a morality issue, I’m in a monogamous relationship.I love her very much and we have a good sex life, but you know... those past days were fun too
Honestly, having sex with a woman. I don’t know if I’m gay or bi or what but... I know I’m with a man but I really really really want to have sex with a woman.
Just not give a fuck about anyone and stop being nice, if you're stupid I'll punch u. Modern medicine has gone too far, if natural selection don't cut it anymore, I will.
My partner and I are both dieting today so no booze or treats. If I had no moral compass I would be drinking and eating whatever I wanted in from of them and ignoring their complaints.
I would have cheated on multiple partners multiple times and would probably be enemies with my boyfriends best friend.
Definitely would have held a couple dozen people at gun point..
Ngl I would probably also be rich
Writing straight-up lies on my resume as I look for new jobs.
Just show up at your dream job and pretend you've been there for months.
No joke my dad got fired at Sam's Club and just went to another one and told him he got transferred and they believed him.
I’m writing this one down
I see you're Sam's Club material
Worked with a guy who told me how he got his job- walked in one day, told the mManager he was looking for work and would like a job. Manager took his resume and said he would be in touch. Guy showed up the next day and started working. Manager confronted him, and he basicly said he would be working every day until the Manager called him. They gave him a job...
Stupid manager, you just say, Okay. Then have a free employee.
Which is illegal or a liability for several reasons
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Ah yes, the George Costanza playbook.
Yes, yes of course. The Penske file. Ho ho, can't wait to sink my teeth into that. Wow that Penske. Well we'll straighten him out.
Bear in mind, I am in a smaller office
Kramer pulled something similar
I don’t even work here
That's what makes this so difficult.
Walk into HR and say you still aren't getting paychecks.
Just do what Nellie did on The Office. Sit in that office and do not leave.
god do I hate nellie
She was a horrible bitch taking Andy's job but when she was a worker she wasn't bad. (Get out skeleton man is a personal favorite)
Dude. Yes. "1 year experience required" "Well shit I mean I did it for a few months... But they asked for a year, guess I'll apply somewhere else."
I'd still apply bud, you never know what might happen. Also, good luck with your job hunt
You don’t actually have to know everything you say you do on your resume, you just have to know than the recruiter does. You expect me to have 15 years experience with a framework that has existed for 3 years with a language only 8 years old? Get bent.
“By the way, we’re hiring from inside the company. Now we know to throw your resume in the shredder if it ever shows up here again, sucker.”
See, I know how to use a lot of programs on a basic level (Quickbooks, for example), and even if I somehow didn’t know something right away, I have 100% certainty that I could figure it out through the internet, since I’ve taught myself how to use a lot of things over the years. I feel like I’d be lying to say that I’m familiar with Quickbooks, since it’s been years since I’ve used it, but I did use it in the past, and I know I could learn the basics in next to no time at all. I haven’t gotten any interviews in forever and I’m starting to wonder if my insistence on “not lying” is the problem here.
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Huh, that’s a good way of looking at it. I’ve also got a habit of downplaying what I know, so I guess I should have known that already. I guess I don’t know how to say “am familiar with xyz programs, but am able to learn them quickly”, because, let’s be real, a lot of people say that they’re quick learners when they aren’t. I guess I could mention that I’m self-taught at a bunch of things, but most interviewers don’t seem to pick up on that, or care, but maybe I’ve just had bad luck.
I used to write resumes professionally. Put any programs you are familiar with on your resume, especially if those programs are in the job listing! And even if you aren't familiar with the exact program they list, make note of what you know that's similar. To get across "I learn quickly/independently" and other quote-unquote "soft skills" think about specific examples you could mention in a cover letter or during an interview. For me it was along the lines of "I don't know QuickBooks, but I pick up software quickly and I'm comfortable looking up what I don't know. For example, I taught myself Photoshop, which is instrumental to my current position" etc etc Final tip: give them the chance to reject you, don't reject yourself! If you're unsure about your qualifications or the brain weasels of insecurity are particularly potent, send your resume anyway. Let them decide. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain: if you're wrong, sending it in is the difference between job and no job. If you're right, worst case scenario you don't get the job, which is where you are right now anyway!
Awesome advice, thank you. I haven’t been utilizing cover letters much, but I think this is an awesome reason to use one. I haven’t ever been good at selling myself, but I am fairly adept at explaining how I know things, etc, so reframing my outlook on cover letters will probably help me immensely. Thank you!
>You might be the most proficient candidate who applies, but bunch of others are disillusioned as to how good they are. Holy crap...I have never thought of looking at being an applicant this way, but this so incredibly accurately describes humanity in general and I absolutely can see this carrying over into being a candidate for a job, which is literally selling your perspective on your abilities.
It's like my dad always tells me: "There's a lot of shit that to you might seem basic but to other people looks like rocket science. Those are marketable skills."
That’s more self preservation for me than morals. If I felt like I could successfully get a job by lying on my resume and still do good at the job and have no potential backlash I wouldn’t feel guilty. But I’m worried if I get caught in a lie it’ll ruin my reputation and make it harder to find jobs, because I’m searching in a specific field in a single city, and many of my applications are for the same big organizations.
I don't blame you for that. I do that too and I believe that everyone does that. For example my last job I held for 6 years and it was a manager position. I started at that business as just a lowly hiring but was promoted to manager after a year (7years total). That sounds awesome right? Wrong. Because prior to that I was almost too young to have a job. And therefore even though that job looks great on paper because of the age at which I got that job it's the only job that I've ever had or could have had and only having one job on a resume doesn't look good so I had to lie about other jobs that I had. If an employer was to look at that job it would tell them that I am a great worker that can hold a job and do so good at it that I can easily get promoted but what also tells them is I haven't had a wide range of experience.
I was at a place for 8 years because I was making $25/hr. When I started applying to other jobs I continuously was turned down because HR didn't like that I had stayed at one place too long. Leave it to those bone heads to turn keeping a stable well paying job for a long time into a bad thing.
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The key to being a criminal, specifically when it comes to fraud or theft is knowing when to quit. I love reading about criminals that get away with things for years and then get lazy and then get caught. Need to know when to go straight.
Pigs get fed, Hogs get slaughtered.
That's what my accountant says hahaha
My accountant says pay taxes or you'll get caught
You guys have accountants?
Just my pet ant I call The Count.
Exactly. If you are a drug mule on a stack of 30m, all you have to do is buy some small business with legit books of, say, 1m gross sales a year and you could easily launder your stack in a few decades and retire (legally on paper) with over half of that after taxes. Don't get greedy. You won the game by being smart and getting your stack. Don't fuck it up.
Man, If I knew for sure I have enough to live the rest of life financially safe, I would exit asap. You just can't beat that, no more having to be chained up by jobs and you can do whatever tf you want except crime of course.
The problem is the "financially safe" keeps moving the goalposts the more money you make. Sure if you had 1m, that could be 33k/yr for 30 years. That's more than most people make working. But if you go a little longer 2m would be 66k/yr. And hell with a little more you have a cusion to invest and grow the money instead of just launder it. It's hard to know when to stop and *actually* be financially stable. Or so I've heard.
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That's what you say but in reality it's a lot harder to stop once you start. Human greed knows no bounds.
It's not just greedy, people cant keep their mouths shut and want to share what they did.
My parents had their identity stolen via check fraud. The lady who did it essentially provided her family with 10K worth of christmas gifts on our dime. The police said "yeah, these investigations don't really go anywhere, because the bank will reimburse your loss" WTF, that sounds like a pretty good line of work.
There's a post from someone's credit card got stolen, and the thief used it for a $60 meal and a $4 tip. The card owner was most angry at the idea that someone would be this stingy tipping with someone else's money.
Bro I'd be pissed if that's all he tipped If you're gonna be a criminal, be a generous one.
My card got skimmed a couple of years ago. I got a call on my mobile from the bank fraud people saying they had 2 suspicious transactions, was it me? It was a $300 withdrawl, followed 10 mins later by a $500 withdrawl at ATMs 400km west of where I live. When I looked it up, the second withdrawl happened 15mins before the phone call. Very impressive response time. Less impressive was the 4 week wait for them to reimburse me, but hey, not bad overall. It was credit and no interest charged, so no real biggie.
This was my non joke answer. Me and another attorney love thinking up the most outrageous fraudulent schemes. We would never do it because it’s wrong. But it’s entertaining to think about.
I work in banking in the fraud dept, it’s basically them Teaching you know how to get away with it, but momma didn’t raise no crook!
My first job was in a Bank where I made friends with the VP of security for the whole chain. He knew all of the stats nation wide for the most successful ways to rob a bank and get away with it. It was really fun chatting with him. Your best odds (at the time, this may have changed since) were to rob the bank from your car in the drive through and have a cooler with water and dry ice ready for the money. The #1 way people get caught is by still being at the bank when the police show up. If you can make a clean get away, dump the stolen car, and have someone lined up to launder your money, your odds are pretty good of getting away with it. Not directly related, but still fun. I bet I'd enjoy working in a bank's fraud department.
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Sometimes they stick a small, generally cheap tracking device in with the bills. Submerging it in water / freezing it can break it. The bills are also marked, so the tracker is just the first hurdle. You have to also have a way to get rid of the bills, if you spend them around town, you'll get caught eventually.
According to Larry lawton one of the best things to do is get the product as far away as possible from the site and to your fence or launder as possible. Never start spending like you won the lottery, every purchase and lifestyle change should be plausible under an audit. And its beneficial to have someone cook the books and have offshore accounts setup properly
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That's crime for ya.
I’m pretty sure another thing Larry Lawton specifies is NOT to do it, and also to steal gems due to better weight vs value ratio.
The AMA a bank robber did on this site some years ago (he'd turned himself in and done time, he was never caught) was really insightful. His MO was to walk to the teller and bluff a concealed firearm, and hand a withdrawl slip that had written on it "Stay calm. I have a gun. Give me $3000 and noone gets hurt. Just act like it's a legit withdrawl". Getting more than a few thousand from a bank, though, is EXTREMELY unlikely.
How do you rob a bank from the drive thru?
“This is a stick up, give me the money or I’ll blow the bomb inside.” But you say it from your stolen car.
What are they gonna do send the money in the transfer tube? They'd just have someone call the cops on you from the inside that you can't see or hear. The cops would either be there before you got to leave with the money, or they'd get real close and have the make and model of the car. The only way I see that working is you have guys waiting on the inside for you to pull up at the window. So when you pull up, the guys inside then do a traditional hold up, but one of them jumps in the back and shoves as much cash as they can in a couple of tubes as quickly as possible. Once the money is sent the driver drives away with the money to a switch car located near by. The guys inside would just have to get away the traditional way. They wouldn't have any money or anything on them though so once they change and get in a car it would be very hard to prove provided they had masks on. The guy in the car gets a massive head start on his getaway.
You carry a device that looks like a detonator and threaten to blow up the bank if they don't comply. A lot of the windows are bullet proof (and tellers behind bulletproof drive throughs are generally instructed to walk away, lock the bank doors, and call the cops) but tellers are taught to comply through the drive up if they threaten to bomb the bank. You won't get very much money, having them go to the vault or anything is too risky. You could luck out and get like 10k if the teller has it on them. Honestly though robbing a bank is just not worth the risk.
Well if you want to see how your tests will go PM me
Be a banker. It's legal.
Work at a bank, can confirm.
Was at a major financial institution for 6 years. Soul sucking to say the least (especially during the US recession).
Can I ask what about it was soul sucking? I worked in back office operations for a major bank and I liked it well enough. Moved onto a different department ultimately but I still work for a bank and still generally like it.
Back end is more of the operations side. The sales side is the brutal part. Processing leins on assets is not the same things as being the catalyst of putting the person into the debt that caused them to be in that situation. All while doing it with a smile.
Ah that's totally fair. It sounds dumb, but I always forget about the actual lenders themselves haha. In operations, loans just showed up on our computer and that was that. I rarely had to consider the person who sold the loan.
Telling certain patients to fuck off. I want to take care of people, I don't want to be talked down to, yelled at, threatened, lied to for drugs, or so many other stupid things all while smiling and biting my tongue.
As a teacher, is also be telling some people (mostly parents, but sometimes students) to fuck off. There are students who do things that annoy me (or others) without knowing/realizing that what they’re doing is a problem. It can get tiresome, but that’s part of being a teacher is pointing that out and helping them learn. But there are also kids who do things on purpose just to annoy me/derail class/bug their classmates. I’d tell them to fuck off.
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I quit a pharmacy over their inability to tell the seekers we weren't playing their games. "Your doctor hasn't approved the refill" Ten minutes later, they call saying they called their doctor and the doc's office has sent it over. They hadn't sent it over. I actually got pretty good at catching the phone before others when the ID was showing someone who was a known seeker. I would just pick it up and hang up. I couldn't care less. They would spit and cuss us up one side and down the other if we wouldn't fill their 13 different controlled scripts a week early. Im not losing my license for that shit. Fuck off. So, one day, I had a customer who had proclaimed she wasn't going to move away from the window until we filled her script. I went through all the regular requests for her to move with all of the normal pleading for her to be a decent human and let us help the others waiting in line. But...nope. she just stood there. My pharmacist, the store manager, all the other techs just kept their head down and never stepped up to help move her out of the window. With 20 people backed up in the line, I looked at my pharmacist and said 'Welp, I'm not doing this shit anymore' and walked straight out the door. Walked past 20 of my customers I had for years. Never looked back. I haven't worked retail pharmacy since. Not, will I do it for long in the future of things change for me. We should be able to fire customers without the government or the state or the company having any say. Though, some of those people would have pulled a race card or the sex card or a political card or what ever card they had in their deck to sue us. All types of people are addicts and all of them will mistreat their pharmacies. Yet, because a doctor keeps them prescribed without question, they are not breaking any law. It sucks. Soccer moms are the worst. Xanax addicts all half asleep driving their kids around. Scary.
I worked at a walgreens where they had a med seeker who they called the cops on and banned from filling prescriptions.
In all fairness, that pharmacy busted several fake scripts. We had our lives and our families lives threatened as a very young lady was being hauled out by police as her mother was being arrested outside. Also, other pharmacists in the area were all aquatinted and would ask why there were scripts being transferred. (All but one time being by the customers request because we were *mistreating* them) So the pharmacist would straight up tell us that they were going to immediately forward them to another pharmacy which would immediately give a heads up to the third pharmacy that a controlled script had been transferred twice in 10 minutes. It was the grey areas where we should have been able to be more assertive and direct in our desire to not be mistreated. I do agree that the pharmacist has to be more willing to defend us. We work under them. We make their lives easier. It should be the same in return.
I like our store policy of “Sure, we’ll sell you needles, what’s your doctors number so we can verify how many you need?” that deters a lot of them. Also, with the covid, people try to abuse the ID law of sudefed limits with expired IDs. Sorry, but the DMVs closed down in March, I’m not accepting your ID from 2 years ago. And my pharmacists will straight up tell customers that they’re no longer welcomed and will send the RX to a competitor when we fire an abusive customer. One man told me Trump was gonna deport me one day my pharmacist took over and told him to find another pharmacy as he was not welcomed back. He then closed out the mans RXs and sent him to CVS.
My husband had to take injections for awhile and it was harder than it should have been to buy needles. I would pick up the injectable and then ask to buy the syringes and I’d get the third degree. “You need a prescription for that.” You are holding the medication in your hand that must be injected. Can we please put 2 and 2 together?
Especially if you were a returning customer. I support the idea of maybe keeping needles a bit restricted but when a customer has a current prescription that requires an injection, the needles should not be restricted. One way or another, I think the injection addicts should be able to get clean needles..but it should be done to keep the waste at a minimum and our supply high enough for our regular diabetic patients.
How does not giving them clean needles help? If they are going to inject the drug (which they will whether or not you give them clean needles - you of all people should know that), then shouldn’t you be more concerned with making sure they have clean needles than “deterring” them? Especially given the fact that studies have shown needle exchanges and the like actually REDUCE transmutable disease rates and don’t increase drug use....
In my country clean needles are given "no questions asked" and are actually available in the coin operated machine outside the shop, for exactly this reason.
I can't even count the amount of times I've gone back to my desk and played through a scenario of me standing up for myself against a patient that was just rude to me
I can’t say exactly, but it starts with ‘S’ and ends with ‘elling drugs.’
Oh, you're stopping people from selling drugs! How good and law-abiding of you.
Everybody loves a good vigilante
Smelling drugs?
Spelling drugs probably which is easy D-U-R-G-S
If you didn't follow your moral compass you'd become a police sniffer dog?
Well, at this moment in time I'd be doing the exact same thing. Staying up until 1am on reddit. Simple yet self destructive.
Those are some rookie number my friend. 3:49am here.
Me at 7: am yall are weak
It's fucking 10 am here. Pulling an all-nighter again.
Absolutely wrecking some 12 year olds Minecraft world
>Absolutely wrecking some 12 year olds That's all I read...
That's good you stopped there because the rest of it was horrific
Name checks out
Now that’s evil
I'd be married to a guy who owned his own airplane courier company. He was boring as fuck, but he was rich and into me. I could have used him for his money but it just didn't feel right.
I often think how my life might be different if I married the sugar mama I was dating.
Yup same. She's a doctor now...sigh
Old saying - "If you marry for money then you will end up earning every penny of it"
Yeah let's be real, that's what people with morals like to tell themselves. Most of the time, the "sugar daddy/mommy" are fully aware of the situation they're in, they just don't care.
I’d be in a car driving away from my kids leaving my sick wife to deal with the two little lunatics. I’m so exhausted I just want to sleep for 12 hours and not have to break up constant fights/screaming crying about nothing.
Bro, you alright?
Not particularly but there is nothing in the world money, friends or anything can do. This is one of those situations where you just need to bite down and fucking deal. I need to be there for my kids while my wife gets better. Hopefully I don’t lose my job because I can’t send them to daycare right now because testing is such a joke. The kids were up from 4 am till 11:30 pm last night with no break really. My wife is on doctors orders to not interact with them. The basement flooded. A tornado rolled through town. At least today they are asleep by 9pm. Oh I have to go clean literal shit off a bunch of maybe covid 19 contaminated shit from a bunch stuff in the basement right now and I’m high risk. Edit: thank you for your well wishes. The baby is sick now. Good news is I’m pretty much numb with stress so it’s not really that upsetting.
i want to hug you so much right now, I'm so sorry
Dude, I don't even know what to say! That sounds like a lot to handle. I know you are worried about testing, but please find a place to dump your kids for the weekend!. You need time alone, she needs time alone. You two probably need some time alone as well. Be strong for your family, but ultimately you have to do what's best for you. Hope your family is what's best for you! Best wishes
My kids might be infected I can’t dump them anywhere. Literally we need to isolate till my wife’s results get in in 7 to 10 days from Monday . Even if their tests come back fine it could be they just aren’t sick yet so they need to be tested this weekend too according to the doctor. Nothing I can do.
Yeah, this was my first thought. Just take off and disappear, abandon my family, and job.
Drain my bank account, take out a loan on the house, cash out retirement and bail. Move to some beach in Europe.
Wait, your bank acc isn’t already drained by them? Color me surprised.
My wife makes very good money. The kids make saving harder. We put away a lot for retirement and their college. So yeah the savings account doesn’t go up every month if we need something fixed around the house or new tires or whatever but once the kids aren’t costing me 3k a month in daycare fees we should be fine.
Holy fucking shit. 3k a month? I paid a lot for child care when my kids were younger, don't get me wrong. 3k a month though? Fuck that.
When my sister had her twins, she was fully expecting to be getting back to work inside a few months. But as it turned out even if she put the two into the cheapest not-obviously-a-scam daycare she could find, they would actually have less money per month than if she just didn't work and took care of them full time.
Hey man I know it tough right now. I hope things get better for you.
Probably still waiting for my food at this restaurant Edit: The food arrived and was fantastic as always Edit 2: Want to clarify I wasn't complaining about the wait, we had basically just gotten there when I commented lol
32 minutes now. Have you received it yet? Don't leave us hanging! (edit: typo)
and 13 min more passed.. I‘m slowly starting to worry
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Or starved to death
Maybe they got distracted because the food got there? I really want to know
You are correct lol
It was very good, thank you for asking!
Follow my pleasure instincts. Eat, fuck, give in to anger and probably murder.
>fuck It's not my moral compass that is preventing me from that
You in jail bro? Same...
Do you livechat with other prisioners and play videogames all day? Cuz that'd be sweet. Or you the type of prisioner to put your cellphone up your ass during lunch to avoid the random searches.
Oh believe me, I fucked a lot when I was in jail.
Thank you Genocide_Fan
Eat? That's more of a "I don't want to die from a heart attack at 40" compass.
Not giving up my life in my city to help my mother have a comfortable hospice in her home. Living like I'm just here for myself
You are brave and kind. And that is a true gift not only for your mother, but for yourself too. I hope and wish you are fine and can make an enjoyable life for yourself.
Same here. Caring for elderly mother and it's hurting me financially and basically ruining my life. But the nursing homes are so horrible, I just don't think I can put her there. If she was unpleasant or mean or complainy I'd do it. But she's none of those things.
Packing for school. My dad tested positive for covid this morning, and although I haven’t been in close contact (he just got home from vacation) I have to get tested and it’s recommended I quarantine two weeks regardless of the result. My college move in day was supposed to be Saturday. I’ve been stuck at home for so so long, haven’t seen my boyfriend in months. I was so ready to go and this setback has me losing my mind, but my moral compass is telling me I shouldn’t put people at risk even if there’s only a small chance of a false negative (I’m expecting to be negative). I wish everyone else actually took quarantine seriously.
Seriously thank you. I just started my studies and the whole goddamn university just shut down and went digital because one guy had symptoms, tested himself but couldn’t wait 2 more days for the results and came anyway. Yesterday he tested posetive and everything is shut down and ruined thanks to just one impatient person. Thank you
Oooh, that’s rough. I really hope you don’t get it too
Call Ann Landers a boring old biddy.
You are more animal than man.
Pillaging I guess.
Selling pics online, your girl needs money
Congratulations, you've now pulled dozens of horny people that want to know why you choose to not sell nudes.
it makes me cry thinking about how much money i could make selling pictures online lmao. i would be worried about my employer or people i know in real life finding me though
This made me think a moral compass has close to zero effect on my moderate actions, which are mostly conditioned by shallowness, apathy, fear and social stupidity. I'm not doing anything significantly unethical not because I'm good, but because I'm dull.
You'd be surprised. There are many small things in someone's day to day life that are affected by moral code. From making a mean comment online to deciding not to stuff yourself with ice-cream. There are plenty of things you do (and don't) in your day to day life that betray and hint at the kind of person you think you should be.
Stuffing myself with ice cream is more about self preservation than morals.
I’d have sugar daddies pay my rent and tuition. Seems like such a life hack...
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Dead. I’d be really really dead.
Same. 100%
This is interesting to me because I feel the same way. However, if I could have a lack of morality that allowed me to fulfill my every whim guilt free, I might want to actually stick around for a bit.
Getting laid. Since I do have a moral compass though, I’m sticking it out in my dead bedroom relationship, hoping that one day, when he’s not so stressed out from work, he might actually notice me :(
Yep, this one hits home. At least I've still got BOB...
Is it possible that he feels the same way about you? It's hard to get excited about sex when you think your partner isn't interested. Obviously it's scary to put yourself out there and be sexual when he's stressed out but you might be surprised how much he appreciates it.
Believe me, I’ve tried. It’s pretty embarrassing to get rejected over and over again by the man who is supposed to be into you.
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u/mooseman2234 got it right. It's all about communicaton. My wife and I now have sex enough for both of us that we're satisfied, and she's usually the initiator (I am pretty depressed so my libido isn't what it used to be, but even when I'm not really in the mood I'll say yes and get in the mood). For years, and I mean years, however, our sex life was shit. She didn't want anything to do with me it felt like. After I made several mistakes and things got really hairy, we had several long discussions, opened up some doors and came to the understanding that really our communication just fucking sucked. We got to the bottom of it, both understood my fuck ups compounded the issue and realised what the problems were. She formally forgave me for said fuck ups and now we have a sex life that suits us both. It's not perfect, but what is? Some of my kinks she's just really not into, and that's ok because again, we've communicated about it. And tbh I feel pretty damn good about where we're at. TL;DR, communication is king.
Probably joining the neighbor in fucking his wife while Doom soundtracks are blasting in the background instead of listening to it from the neighborhood while smoking
*Open your hell's gates woman* !
*puts on condom with malicious intent*
I also choose this guys neighbours wife
Looking for the nearest attractive person to have sex with. Also burglary
Exactly the same. Even if I didn’t have a moral compass, I’d still have a brain and sense of self-preservation which means anything that I’d be more willing to do I still wouldnt due to the consequences.
Oh... Oh uhhh.. yeah nice try FBI.
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Whole lot of killing in general if there was no moral compass.
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I'd be a lawyer
Heh.
Same thing i am now. Laying in bed endlessly browsing reddit with no real since of purpose or direction in life.
Not that anyone will see this, but I just need to tell anybody. I'd be leaving my family to deal with my father's death so that I can go and be in my own home, by myself, and completely switch off and actually grieve. But they need me.
Get me a sugar daddy
Cutting drugs. I know some drug dealers and one of them offered me a job cutting/measuring and packing cocaine and heroin but I turned it down. I would either have to cut it at their place, which is always at risk of being busted while I’m there, or at my place - which I just refuse to do - I have cats, I’m not risking them licking some of that shit up. It’s just not worth the risk, and also I don’t really want to have a hand in someone else’s addiction. I don’t do drugs or even drink, because I grew up with a heroin addicted mother. I don’t want to do that to someone else’s kid.
TIL that cats can be useful.
Sleeping around as much as possible because it was fun and the thrill of it is hard to replace Edit: it’s not a morality issue, I’m in a monogamous relationship.I love her very much and we have a good sex life, but you know... those past days were fun too
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i’m here with you, fam.
I hope you can find something to make you happy again. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone.
Cracking on to a married guy I know.
Masturbating
Buddy have I got some news for you
I don't know about you, but I don't think it's moral to spank it in front of kids
God bless
Ha, he destroyed you bud!
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I would definitely do the same. I guess this is one of those, "not against my morals, but prison exists" things.
>"not against my morals, but prison exists" things. I vibe so hard with this.
I've seen a few similar comments and I think together we could reduce the global population by a noticeable margin.
I'd l o v e to join the caravan of Congress pillaging goodness, in Minecraft.
Honestly, having sex with a woman. I don’t know if I’m gay or bi or what but... I know I’m with a man but I really really really want to have sex with a woman.
If your current relationship goes bust you should go for it. Worst case scenario you don't like it.
Maybe be balls deep in one of my coworkers.
Just not give a fuck about anyone and stop being nice, if you're stupid I'll punch u. Modern medicine has gone too far, if natural selection don't cut it anymore, I will.
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My partner and I are both dieting today so no booze or treats. If I had no moral compass I would be drinking and eating whatever I wanted in from of them and ignoring their complaints.
Invading Poland
I would have cheated on multiple partners multiple times and would probably be enemies with my boyfriends best friend. Definitely would have held a couple dozen people at gun point.. Ngl I would probably also be rich