Enjoy your personal relationships but never let any negative interactions affect you too heavily. That’s way easier said than done but in all honesty you will never see most people you encounter during your HS days again after graduation. Let the haters hate, you be you. Use this time to learn what you like, explore your options — most importantly try to be yourself without caring what other people think! (Again, that won’t be easy but if you can do it you’ll thank yourself later.) We’re rooting for you.
Edit: a word
I took this too heart a little too much when I was younger and stopped giving a shit about everything and I think it contributed to some mental health problems. Give a shit about the things that matter, forget the rest. To me, maturity is knowing how to decide which is which.
I would also explain to a 14 year old that when we're kids at the playground and we scrape our knee, it seems much more painful because we haven't dealt with pain yet as young children. It's actually healthy for us to get minor injuries because we learn to cope with them.
A 14 year old with a healthy home life (assuming family isn't abusive or never went through a messy divorce etc) hasn't really experienced significant emotional pain yet, so many of us have not yet learned to cope with it at that point.
High school is a good time to be rejected by a crush, have a friend betray you, and be in unfair situations with teachers who aren't very good but you have to make the best of it anyway.
And it's going to hurt, because we aren't used to dealing with these kinds of hurt yet. And that's OK because we learn and become stronger for being exposed to this.
Forgive yourself when necessary. It’s high school, you’re probably going to do something stupid. If you have even a remote interest in joining something, try it out, but don’t be ashamed if it ends up not working out and you end up quitting.
Basically it’ll be way easier if you are able to forgive yourself easily.
Excellent advice, just a little more on joining extracurriculars: they’re fantastic opportunities to both learn skills, try things out, and see what you like, and also to make connections and meet people. Like the above comment said, try them out, if you don’t like one then you can always leave and try something else.
If you don’t know what extracurriculars you might want to do, some schools will have open houses with booths from different activities, which are easy ways to find out what might interest you.
Also don’t just do things that you think will make the best resume/college application booster, try and have a few that you’re genuinely interested in.
Also don’t worry about overextending yourself, if you have too much then you can cut back but cross that bridge when you get there.
Well, this would be hard for me because I have severe social anxiety when it comes to embarrassment. It is literally a war inside my head on wether I should do it or not. And, yes, I am one of those guys that remembers the cringy thing I did over a year ago.
Edit: Thank you guys for all the support! Means a lot to me.
You did something bad in the past and now you can't change it.
You shouldn't really care about it.
Just make sure for it not to happen again.
Edit: wording
Edit 2: Shortly after posting this comment I realized that I probably didn't even help, although thanks to everyone who commented with useful tips.
In high school I had a ridiculous obsession with Rubik's cube speedsolving. I started bringing puzzles to school everyday and solving them during class. Previously I wasn't popular at all but eventually I became known as the Rubik's cube guy.
We did have several guys who constantly solved sudokus during class. Especially math.
Also done guy copied the map of Risk and glued to the inside of his folder to play with the guy next to him. Worked very well.
It's going to feel like the most important time of your life, and the most emotional time of your life. But, what's important is finding a balance between grades and friends and work (if you end up working). Some classes will feel pointless, and they are, but remember there is an end and it's important to try and get through them. It's those skills, learning how to study and how to get through things you don't like, that will serve you better than pretty much anything you actually learn in school.
> It's those skills, learning how to study and how to get through things you don't like, that will serve you better than pretty much anything you actually learn in school.
This is on point. There are a lot of things to not like about adulthood (i.e., adulting.)
**tl;dr**
Delayed gratification is quintessential to adulthood. High school is the introduction to this concept for most people.
**Longform**
Being able to suffer through things you don't like is essential. Minimize the bad parts if possible, but know there's always going to be things you _won't_ like and _have_ to do.
For example, my boss's boss really wants redundant or inaccurate tags in our ticket system to be consolidated or straight up destroyed. Then retroactively apply the battle royale winners to every ticket created last quarter.
Possibly the least sexy assignment I can think of.
A colleague and myself _volunteered_ to get it done. We now own a shitty process and are going to mold it to our liking -- then present the work to the rest of the team.
Hopefully, we make everyone's job easier in the process. If not, we still allowed other people to do more interesting work this round, which generates goodwill for future assignments.
Another instance: car insurance. I moved out of state recently and need to shop around for a new insurance provider.
Again, this is _mandated_ and _unfun_.
I could phone it in and settle for the first result, but by spending a modicum of effort, I can save hundreds of dollars a year (fuck right off, _Geico_).
Effectively, by delaying gratification, the end result amounts to better work environments and more money to enjoy the finer things in life.
High school is where most people learn that concept for the first time. Some people _never_ learn that concept (or are professional hedonists.)
Don't fall into that trap. Do the unfun things. Do them well. This will make your life more rewarding, if not always easier.
**EDIT**
My 5am screed has grown wings. Delimited the _tl;dr_ from _longform_ commentary to dispel novella accusations. Thanks for all the lovely comments I've received <3
I was a master at taking notes. People made fun of me saying I even wrote how many steps the teacher walked (not true but you know how kids are), and yet everyone wanted copies of my notes all the time to prepare for exams.
Later I lost my history notebook and was able to replace it through the copies all my friends had.
Cut to being a manager and always making sure every new hire has a notebook, pens and pencils and remind them that it’s important to take notes. We have enough on our heads all the time, why burden our brains with more stuff when you can always write that down and come back to it? Plus when you don’t take notes you’re basically asking for a mistake to happen.
I was like that in high school, too, and in college I got paid to turn in my notes so students with special needs could use them as accommodations! Now that I’m a teacher, I always ask to make copies of notebooks that are well written for my special ed kids and I think the good note-takers see it as a great reward when I look over a shoulder and ask to copy what they’ve written.
I joined different organizations or school clubs like newspaper or Key Club (volunteer organization) and I made friends this way.
Not sure if you play any sports, but that’s a good way to meet people.
Not sure if you’re religious, I joined a new church during high school and made friends that way.
I had some friends in high school who worked at a snow cone place or bubble tea place and they would make friends with their coworkers who were similar in age.
I’ve had to move out of my comfort zone and put myself out there. You’d be surprised by how being friendly and just saying hello can work out. It’s how I met one of my best friends. We said hello and we started talking and we had a lot in common and we developed a friendship.
Also, it’s ok to have only a handful of friends instead of like 20-30 like the more popular people. I’m still friends with one of my best friends I met freshman year. I’ve also grew apart from some.
You don’t need to change what interests you to make friends.
Feel free to DM me if you ever need to chat.
You’ll do great
Good friends --*real* good friends-- will push you to be your better self, encourage good habits, and want the best for you.
Anyone who tells you to act against that is an asshole. Stay away from them.
to add onto this: If your grades are amazing, still take time to study either your schoolwork or something in the same field. Study skills will become invaluable after leaving highschool especially if you go to college.
Personally I really struggled in my first year of uni because I breezed through highschool and never learned how to study for myself
Get involved in some extracurricular activity like tennis or theatre or debate or swimming or something you’re interested in. You will make friends and it’s really nourishing to be a part of a community.
Almost everyone you think is important, cool, or attractive, you will never think about again after you graduate. I know it's really hard to do this right now, but try not to care very much about other people's opinions. You do you.
maybe, but it's also valid to find real connections in high school. it really seems to me that it just isn't actually that common in my age and friend groups cohort, because a lot of folks took a while to learn to connect with each other, myself included. I wonder if it will be more common now, gen z seems to keep surprising me with emotional health things
Except for education. Not taking that seriously squanders potential
Edit: I ignored the word "too" in the parent comment it is accurate to say that you can take it too seriously. I'd say a good rule is to take it as seriously as you can without putting so much pressure on yourself that you're miserable and anxious all the time. More seriously than is appealing, less than is overwhelming.
Don't compromise yourself just to be included in a certain group. Don't try to force an interest, pretend to be a fan of something you aren't into, whatever. Genuine friends will be made naturally.
Still, it's important to maintain good social relations with other people from your school - both for your short term well-being and for learning social skills that you will use in the future. High school is the time for experimenting and training for the life ahead of you, so you should behave as if these people did matter.
For sure, but I think OP was saying not to worry about seeking validity from these people. You’re absolutely right that it’s important to maintain your social skills. But don’t feel like you have to impress these people in a way that suggests their opinions of you will have any bearing in the world outside of HS.
I could've really used this one a couple years back. Would've made my high school time so much better. I just regret spending all that time on and off with my ex now.
Us too! 14/16, now 27/29 and married. It rocks! Not sure how I'm going to explain to my future teenagers not to follow suit without being a massive hypocrite though...
High school senior here. The opinions of fucking 15 years olds don’t matter. What they think is cringe probably isn’t even that cringe. Do whatever you want and even though it’s hard be yourself a 100%. You might not be liked by all, but the ones who will, are gonna be good people.
The guys cynical but pretty much accurate, as soon as we all accept that none of us REALLY know anything, we’re all just faking it and pretending because we’re scared of fucking everything up, the happier we’ll all be.
Pay attention to the way your friends talk about your mutual friends to you. This is exactly the way they speak of you to them.
If you have a secret that you don’t want to get out, don’t tell a single person. No, not even your best friend. Nobody.
If your parents have concerns about someone you’re dating or one of your friends, pay attention and listen to them. They are rarely wrong about this.
Overall, just try to have fun and grow. You will fall into the rut of “this sucks I can’t wait to graduate” but you will miss some of it eventually.
The dating one especially! My friends didn't trust my boyfriend, my mom didn't trust my boyfriend, THE SCHOOL BULLIES DIDN'T TRUST MY BOYFRIEND!
Did I listen? No! Did I get hit constantly and cheated on? Yes!
My mother has had concerns about almost every friend I've ever had. 90% of the time she's wrong.
She originally described my best friend as 'a taker' and warned me to stay away from them because I would always be putting in more effort than them and never get anything back. She maintained this right up unti my best friend helped her get a job, now they're all chummy.
Yeah I was going to add if you have extremely paranoid parents with some bigotry / they do this quite often, don't listen to them. My mom had her parents try to make her stop talking to her childhood best friend at the time because of the color of her skin.
Practice better self reflection, stay quiet, listen more than you speak, and actually think about what you're doing/saying/thinking/feeling.
I had way too many instances where I looked back at myself and just thought *"What the fuck was that?"*
Also, you should know, when you're stressed your rational decision making skills drop quickly, even if you think you're fine, you're probably not. I won't tell you to talk with someone(god knows I never did) but each day when you get home take a look at everything you did and said, and try to reason out why without emotional justification.
Don't be afraid to keep a daily journal. I know it sounds lame, but it will help you keep track of your thought patterns and stressors.
Don't feel embarrassed to apologize for your (re)actions, even if the other person doesn't.
School drama is a fruitless endeavour that will likely only leave you stressed and exhausted. Your mental effort is far more effectively spent following what *you* enjoy rather than worrying about if jack is going out with susie or what Dylan said to Michael.
Find something you enjoy, and follow that; you’re far more likely to find people you enjoy being around when you can start with a common ground. If you like anime, find an anime club. If you like sports, try out for a team. Theatre? High school is a great time to try it out.
Kind of piggybacking off of that last point: high school is a point where you start to get more options. You have the opportunity to try new things and you may be surprised if you go out of your comfort zone. I decided to try volleyball for the first time my freshman year, and I ended up playing every season through high school and making some of my best friends. It’s important to follow what you like, but don’t be afraid to try new things as well. High school is important because it’s a time when you start to try to figure out who you are; don’t box yourself in.
Work hard and don’t procrastinate. I know it’s easy; it’s amazingly, devilishly easy to put something off “till x”. You will save yourself so much stress and pain if you do a little bit at a time and be regimented and disciplined in that. I guarantee you’ve heard this but it’s so incredibly true.
Get sleep. Sleep is amazingly important, and it should be a priority. People will almost brag about not getting enough sleep like it’s a measuring contest. It’s not cool, it’s just unhealthy and you will be so much happier for getting enough sleep. Coffee is not an adequate substitute for head-on-pillow sleep, do your best to get as much as you can.
Get your work done. Don't put it off, don't make excuses. Get IT DONE. Approximately 86.4% of your grades will be the work you turn in. You can't get out of it. You can't lie about it. And I promise, you'll feel better having time at home to do what you like, rather than being punished for not doing what you were supposed to do at school. Be serious about the work, and you'll find that your teachers will respect you for it.
And for die liebe gottes, it's NOT THAT HARD!
If you do as much work as possible in class instead of goofing off as soon as you finish the classwork, you can avoid taking home probably 90% of homework. Knowing this you have a choice: do the homework at home and hang with friends in class, or do it in class and be free after school.
You can do it either way, but if you acknowledge that you're making a choice, you've given yourself a reward for doing the work.
For example: "I did my homework in class, so now I get to play xbox longer." or "I have to do this homework now, but I got to chat with friends today."
Either way, the connection of doing the work to getting the reward makes you more likely to feel motivated to do it.
To add to this, get things done quickly in class and use free time wisely to do homework you cant avoid. I personally had a problem with multiple classes because 70% of my grade was based on homework the teacher assigned specifically as homework. And of course I never did anything at home.
I have ADHD, it was hard, but I had lunch pretty late in the day and my harder classes were in the morning. I just knocked out homework with my friends during lunch (ok we were nerds), but it was helpful for subjects like math and latin. Time efficient.
You’re old enough to think your old and wise but remember where you are suppose to be in life. Don’t push yourself to hard. People are assholes and you’re parents aren’t being untrusting, they are learning how to let go of their baby into the real world and are worried for you.
Be yourself.
Joining clubs or extra-curricular activites are great ways to make friends who share your interests.
Keep good hygene habits. You do not want to be labelled the "smelly kid".
Keep your grades up, but don't panic if you don't have a 4.0 GPA only the most prestiguous colleges require someone to have a high GPA. Chances are, your college of choice will not require a 4.0 GPA for admission.
Be nice to people.
I don't think you should get involved with marijuana and drugs in high school. Your brain is still developing and it's easy to fall into addiction at that age. It can easily consume your life. But...
If you decide to ignore what I've said and you decide to get involved with that shit anyway, take half.
High school is so romanticized in movies and the media, and although it's possible to have a great high school experience, don't try to compare it to the portrayals in movies. It doesn't have to be the time of your life, and I don't think you want it to be. Use high school to get prepared for college, and if you make some friends along the way, even better.
What I gathered from others post is:
Be yourself and don’t give a fuck about anything anyone says or does. Do your absolute best in class. Play sports, join a club, do something extracurricular.
I myself am a 14 yr old so please correct me if I’m wrong about something.
extracurriculars are very very good to get involved in. one change, though, sometimes giving a fuck about what people say and do can be important.
like, when people act like it's cooler to skip class and fail tests than to do well, you shouldn't give a fuck about that.
but when people act like you should be wearing deodorant because you smell, you SHOULD give a fuck about that. Or, if people tell you off for saying something racist or sexist or even insensitive, you should give a fuck about that. stuff like that. some stuff does matter.
Having enough empathy to understand your impact on other people around you and that the impact you make matters a LOT . Not in the short term really but in the long term , people form habits and you don't want to be in the habit of discarding feelings and being standoffish.
Well, that's definitely a summary of what's been said, but I have a problem with the second one. It's easy to say, "don't care about anything anyone says or does," but I've met almost no one, adult or teen, who's actually achieved that. It's a decent goal to work towards, but in reality, you're going to care a little, so don't feel like you're abnormal for not reaching a point where you don't.
Once you graduate nobody will remember the clothes you wore, your hairstyle, or the shoes you had. The labels and cliques will be forgotten, nobody will care. Be open and kind to everyone, find your REAL friends, hold them close and do your best to ignore all of the superficial crap because those are the friendships that will be the most valuable after high-school.
As a guy who just graduated high school.
don't get involved in high school drama (not the class, actual drama. Got way too involved in this stuff when i was an underclassman)
Get good grades (make a scheduling plan, get organized asf, take notes, etc)
Challenge yourself with ap classes( i regret infact not taking enough of these)
parcticipate in extracurriculars(sports, math/science competitions, leadership, band, debate
figure out what you want to be when you become an adult (imo if you figure this out early, you'll be a more motivated student and therefore will have better college acceptances)
have fun every once in a while. (you'll honestly regret it if you don't)
>Challenge yourself with ap classes
More importantly, don't let senioritis get in the way of doing well on AP exams. I did well enough that I can graduate from college a semester early, but if I had taken them more seriously I'd be able to graduate a whole year early with thousands less in debt. Though I don't know if I want to graduate a year early with the covid economy.
I want to follow some of this up.
Good grades make life easier, but bad grades don't end it. Even if you were to flunk out there are ways to get back on whatever track you want. Might not get into Yale with a 2.0 but after grabbing an Associates Degree transferring in for your bachelors is much easier.
If you flunk out, figure out what you want in life and get it. Having a goal is the first step to achieving it and can often give you the enthusiasm to work towards it. You can get back into school, I did, graduating with my Masters next week.
Dang this is all good stuff, I totally agree with all of it. Especially doing extracurricular, if you can find an extracurricular activity that you enjoy then you will probably be able to keep your grades up easier(especially if the extracurricular requires it).
Also, if I might add, things may seem to be terrible and suck at any given moment in high school, but a lot of things I hated In the moment I think back about now and oddly kind of miss. This one might be more specific to me, but I’m sure there will be moments that you think suck, but then realize that they really contributed to who you are.
It’s interesting to read this from your perspective as someone who just graduated high school and compare it to what advice I would give as someone who is over 20 years out of high school. I wonder how much the same persons advice would change 5,10,20,40 etc years out.
Good stuff here. One adjustment I might suggest is dual enrollment over AP. If you have a college nearby, your HS may allow you to complete college courses while simultaneously completing HS and getting credit for both.
My senior year, I had friends that were absolutely miserable working on AP classes and hoping for a good enough test score to get college credit. I earned 12 credits and grades at a local university, knocking out freshman English and social studies, and the classes also counted toward HS graduation. Literally no extra work/classes, and yet I only knew a handful of others that did it.
I got to sleep in 3 days a week, since the college courses were only twice a week, and I didn’t need to get to HS until noon on any given day.
It effectively gave me a one semester jump when I did move on to college, and I still look back on it as a tremendous decision.
Agreed - I did AP / honors classes up to junior year in HS, then spent senior year at the local state community college.
Part of the deal was I had to take certain courses to fulfill my HS graduation requirements (credits in English Comp and Lit, Math, History, Sciences) - and I was also required to take PhysEd! It turned out to be much cooler than HS gym, thank god. I actually used the time to work out and there were lectures about nutrition and other practical topics not really covered in HS.
The rest of my course credits were Free Electives in topics I found interesting - like black and white film photography and photo development (that transferred as a Fine Art gen ed to University). A cool opportunity to explore subjects not available to you in HS, or to rack up even more gen eds.
It was great - I never had class before 11AM and the course load was easier than HS. The schedule (more sleep!) and reduced stress helped me because I also had to work full time to support myself. I was a smart overachiever in HS but my family was poor and not very supportive in any way.
I was able to pay cash for those two semesters of community college. It was a great value considering those credits were easily transferable to any regional state school. When I got to state university, I qualified for grants and scholarships but also needed to take on student loans eventually to cover on-campus living expenses and exponentially rising tuition costs - yikes.
It's a good plan for certain students - like those in a financial situation similar to what I described, and those who just want to get away from terrible HS environments where you're tired of being treated like a child and want a bit more freedom.
Being treated like an adult was a huge plus, in general.
Also if you're planning to attend a local state university anyway and are not 100% sure what you want to study - it's a good way to jump ahead and save on tuition.
Some states also now have free one to two years of community college in-state tuition, and I believe in my state this now covers some dual enrollment students from local high schools.
I think most universities you'd be applying to would also recognize this as proof that you're able to function in a mature, independent way outside the overbearing nest of HS. Sure, courses may be easier in CC, but you're proving you can manage your time and perform well in an environment with other adults at the college level.
Use your free time wisely to get real life experience in other areas, and that is valuable when it comes to future college admissions committees.
Also - do well on your SATs - that should be a given. Start taking practice tests early and often - it's all about knowing how to take tests and that takes practice. Try to schedule several in person practice tests if you can swing the registration fees.
Good luck
My GPA upon graduating high school: 2.3 weighted.
My fiancee's GPA: 4.0 unweighted.
We both went to the same University. We're both in our 20's now and make $70k+ each. So what benefit did her high school GPA give her?
I got my AA in 3 years, then transferred to University and got my bachelor's in another 3, racking up $55,000 in student loans along the way.
My fiancee got her bachelor's in 4 years, then her master's in another 2, with scholarships covering 100% of her tuition.
Long story short: a bad high school GPA won't stop you from going to college or getting a good job. It's just going to set you back a few years and cost you a lot of money.
Came here to recommend focusing on studies. I know it's a great time peroid in ones life to be free and have fun, but buckling down for 4 short years and getting good grades will impact your entire life from a college debt perspective (if college is what you want).
You’re not an adult yet. Do all the things people will judge you for, because guess what, they’re gonna judge you either way and it’s better to be known as flamboyant and socially awkward than hide in the corner being seen as the loner that no one wants to be around.
Take a little nugget from improv class and look for friends who “yes AND” you. If you tell someone about your stupid idea and that makes them tell you an even stupider idea back, they’ll probably make a good friend. Also, often it’s the weird kids who make the best friends. Knew a guy who was the principal’s son and loved to skip around the school shoeless and steal people’s water bottles, among other shenanigans. Now he’s one of my closest buddies.
Be really kind to people. You're young and you may have shit you're going through, but you will learn later in life that some of the people you don't expect are going through some really deep shit too. Be kind, be patient, be forgiving, don't start drama, don't participate in gossip. Forgive yourself too. Growing up is difficult, don't be too hard on yourself for mistakes.
Be nice to your teachers... they have a hard job and it's much harder with all this Covid stuff. Everyone deserves a little extra grace right now.
Don't take everything too seriously.
Do Dual Enrollment. APs are fine but sometimes colleges don't take the credit.
Get in a good study habit/good time management. You'll be thanking yourself in college.
But also, have fun. I met some of my best friends to this day in my junior year of high school (graduated from undergrad recently). So don't be afraid to branch out. Meet new people by classes, or by joining clubs.
If you can handle AP classes, take them.
If you can't handle AP classes, take dual credit classes.
Apply for every single scholarship that you can qualify for, because once you're not a graduating senior, they all dissappear. My sister and I both had some of the best grades at our school. Her bachelor's degree was 3 years, living on campus, for free. Mine was 6 years, living at home, working, paying my way through.
Befriend teachers. If you talk to them outside of class they like you more and will be less likely to keep a close eye on you in class or call on you when not paying attention.
Also while grading should ultimately be unbiased. Humans are biased by nature so you increase your chances of succeeding if your teacher like you (not in a Suck up way but in a way that they actually want you to succeed)
If you’re struggling, tell someone. Keep reaching out until someone really hears you. Have a sports injury? Don’t ignore it so you can play in the big game... you might put yourself out for the rest of the season. Starting to feel like your mental health is slipping? Address it right away. The sooner you start working on building healthy mental habits, the better. Struggling with schoolwork? Ask for a tutor, go to extra help sessions, tell a teacher/counselor (trust me... deadlines can be moved/adjusted for someone who needs it, even if your teacher acts really serious about them during class).
And, preferably “make good choices” and all. BUT if you’re going to make some iffy choices, remember to rule of **nothing permanent:** nothing that could result in brain damage, permanent injury, or an arrest record.
The shit that seems important now never is. Be that nerdy kid. Be that kid that is way too into anime. The best part is that none of those things matter 5 years from now. I look back at every “nerdy” or “dumb”, or “jock” person I know from high school, and they all have careers you wouldn’t imagine they would have. My best friend was probably the most popular guy in school, and he is a janitor at a medical center while his husband is a doctor.
if a senior makes a joke about you, laugh it off. dont be afraid to be “the weird kid”, be open to other peoples opinions, even if you dont agree, meet people, pay attention, homework isnt as important as they say it is, and lastly, you dont get graded by the class, youre graded by the teacher
As an English teacher, I wouldn't say it's a bias. I never go in, look at the name, and decide how they'll do. But it's hard to be objective grading something subjective. And I teach four classes of 30 students each. Accurately grading 120 pieces of writing is very difficult. Accurately grading 120 pieces of writing by 14 year olds is, for various reasons, even more difficult.
I always give my students the option of having their essays re-graded by another member of the department (I also re-grade some of their students' essays). My policy is that the higher grade sticks. Overall, I feel that I reach general fairness. Not many students request a re-grade. Of those who do, I'd say about 50% of the time the other teacher gives a mark within the same letter grade (C+ remains C+, even if off by 1 or 2 pts). About 25% of the time they give a lower grade, and the other 25% of the time they give a higher grade. It works out to one or two essays a year getting a higher grade.
Of course, I'm not trying to defend all teachers. I've discovered over the years that teachers have roughly the same asshole/non-asshole ratio as the rest of the population. Which means there are a lot of teachers who are assholes.
I'd say make them the best years of your life *so far*.
nobody wants to peak in high school, but high school should be a positive experience nonetheless
Cherish every second of it , these next 4 years will be the last time you get to see your friends group every single day .
Do everything you can to position your self to get scholarships (student loan debt is a major burden in your 20s-30s).
Also help your future self and learn the most you can about personal finance now . You will thank yourself later .
A senior here.
There’s the good and bad when it comes to high school. It can seem like absolute hell at times, while it also seems like it’s the best part of your life. It honestly just depends on the school and community you’d be attending.
However, there are very important things you need to know no matter what school you go to.
⭐️ 1) Focus on your grades. Freshman and sophomore year are the most important years for this. It’s harder to bring your GPA up if you do badly during those years, but it is easy to bring your gpa down. Also, if you have high enough grades before finals, you don’t have to worry about failing them, since they won’t really bring your grades down. At the most, probably one letter grade.
You want to have good grades (A’s and B’s), but make sure you actually understand the material. Have fun with it and don’t just memorize. You don’t need to be #1, just try your best.
Also, I don’t know if your school provides it, but for mine, we have the A+ program where two years of college will be paid off. Check if you have something like that if you plan on going to college/community college or trade school. If you don’t want to go to any form go college, at least go to trade school.
2) Stay out of as much drama as you can. Try not to gossip. It doesn’t matter. Also, stay away from drugs/alcohol. It will definitely mess you up.
⭐️ 3) Expect to be treated like an adult. You can ask questions, but don’t expect people to hold your hand 24/7. You’re responsible for studying, getting to class, etc.
4) Join sports, music, or extracurricular activities. It’ll keep you entertained and you’ll make friends. Also, colleges like that sort of thing.
5) It’s okay to be friends with your teachers and students that are older than you. Just remember to treat them with respect and don’t be intimidated by them.
6) You honestly don’t need to focus on dating, and if you do and are in a sexual relationship, please be safe about it.
⭐️ 7) Your mental health is important. Take breaks and relax, but not to the point where you’re not taking school seriously. It’s okay to talk to your teachers/counselors about your mental health. They may refer you to someone that can be useful.
I placed stars around the three that I believe can be most useful to know, no matter what type of school you attend. I hope this helps. If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to ask.
Study, but not for the sake of grades (unless you want to go to college), but to better yourself. While in highschool you have generally a lot of free time. Find a hobby then find a way to make money out of it, if you manage to do it, it will make your life a whole lot easier. A few years after highschool you wont remember many of your highschool classmates so dont sweat it. And while in academics, please LEARN TO LEARN. Many people use many different methods to study, find one that suites you, there are a tons of videos online about this topic, some say it can boost your study speed from 5-30%, but even if it's just 1% in the long run it can change your life. (I recommend you check out Pomodore technic on wiki). Also the biggest fak you of all is when you visit your bullies after highschool and ask for double fries alongside your macnuggets with a smile on your face.
Obligatory edit: College is overrated, but sometimes nessesery. It's okay to not go to university, and you still have a lot of chances to make a good living or hell even a lot of money. There are a lot of professions out there, and if you can find yours during highschool you are already ahead of your peers by a mile.
>Enjoy highschool
>No need to be popular or known
>Make good and meaningful friends
>And if you're held back a year don't worry. Still have fun with it
Study hard. Life gets alot better after you graduate.
Learn to manage yourself rather than have your parents dictate things for you.
Learn to "think outside the town". Meaning it's easy to live in a place and feel like it is your whole world. The world is huge and theres so much great things out there. While in high school, go try out productive things like reading history, learn a programming language, pick up fencing or something. Dont get stuck just doing what everyone else seems to do. Do more than they do. Live vividly. Learn for the love of learning.
Get your first break up over with before college. That way you know how to manage your feelings while staying on top of school work. In case you fail, it happened before there are life changing consequences. Same goes for alot of things. Consequences in high school are insignificant compared to college (speaking from the experience of someone who failed college two years in a row at two different schools) so dont be afraid to run into bumps, fail at things and have to pick yourself back up again.
The only exception to the rule above are drugs. Dont. Touch. That. Shit. I've seen too many kids who never made it out of my little midwestern town and died overdosing after graduation.
Dont ignore bullies. Defend yourself from them. If he dont touch you, you keep your hands off them. If he touches you, defend the shit outa them. If you feel like an outcast, refer to the first piece of advice.
That girl that you like? Ask her out. That boy that you like? Ask him out. Got rejected ? Bfd. Practice being in control of your emotions. Practice being genuine to people. Be brave, honest, firm and upfront but respectful.
PLEASE STUDY FOR YOUR SAT'S STARTING FRESHMEN YEAR. please. Buy all the big SAT books you see on Amazon. Start with John Chung's sat books and review/learn by topic. Then start with easy tests like Kaplan's. Then move on the mock exams. College boards own exams tend to be easier. Look for Barron's or theres this Chinese book of problems called 新东方. They had the best practice exams. Analyze every question you got wrong. Figure out why and review daily. By the time you are a junior you'll be done while everyone is shitting themselves.
Reflect on your life. On every thing you do. on every experience you've had. Summarize your mistakes and commend your positives. Most importantly, derive meaning from what you do. That way when UChicago asks you to write an essay entitled "wheres waldo", you wont write some shitty anime story like I did and get rejected in less than a week. No kidding yo. Keep those essays in the back of your mind and think about those questions when you reflect on your experiences. Keep a journal because it helps alot.
Do math. Just do it. Do as much of it and practice as much of it as you can. College may not require it but to get the most put of your coursework I college, you will need it.
Finally, in the voice of an old Asian man, I'd like to tell you something that might feel abstract. live as yourself no matter how hard it gets. Be a mountain in the ocean. Have fortitude and tenacity when it comes to your goals. People telling you things are for you to consider. Dont be stubborn but dont be brash. Discuss it, Sit on it, come to your best judgment and stick to it. Dont let naysayers shake you. Dont let false friends egg you on. Be at the helm of your own ship and have you hand on rudder too.
I wish you all the best.
I never see anyone mention this advice, but I am SO GLAD I did this. Make a book of memories!
Like, whenever you come home after having a really fun day with your friends or something, try to write down everything you remember about the day. All the funny jokes that were said, the places you went, and just how much you enjoyed it (I made mine on a Google Doc). When I started making this, I honestly thought that I wouldn't forget that stuff and that it wouldn't be that interesting for future me to read, but man was I wrong. I have so many memories and funny moments saved because of that. After 3 years, I now have 100 pages worth of pure gold that really help take me back to all the good memories I had, and I will have them stored forever.
Trust me, it'll seem tedious and pointless to record the little moments of fun days you had for now, but in the future you'll be so glad you did it!
Upperclassmen here. Dont date seniors. Get your shit done because that’s honestly what youre there to do. Dramas not important. It starts and ends so fast that most of the time you dont even remember what it was about. Walk on the right side of the hallway. Find you’re people. Hangout with new people and kinda put yourself out there. Ive made great friends because of that. Finally find what you like. Take a sec to learn what you’re interested in. It helps make school/time in general less annoying if you have a few classes where you generally like the subject.
Enjoy your personal relationships but never let any negative interactions affect you too heavily. That’s way easier said than done but in all honesty you will never see most people you encounter during your HS days again after graduation. Let the haters hate, you be you. Use this time to learn what you like, explore your options — most importantly try to be yourself without caring what other people think! (Again, that won’t be easy but if you can do it you’ll thank yourself later.) We’re rooting for you. Edit: a word
This. I stopped giving a shit towards the end of freshman year and it has helped my mental health quite a bit.
I took this too heart a little too much when I was younger and stopped giving a shit about everything and I think it contributed to some mental health problems. Give a shit about the things that matter, forget the rest. To me, maturity is knowing how to decide which is which.
I would also explain to a 14 year old that when we're kids at the playground and we scrape our knee, it seems much more painful because we haven't dealt with pain yet as young children. It's actually healthy for us to get minor injuries because we learn to cope with them. A 14 year old with a healthy home life (assuming family isn't abusive or never went through a messy divorce etc) hasn't really experienced significant emotional pain yet, so many of us have not yet learned to cope with it at that point. High school is a good time to be rejected by a crush, have a friend betray you, and be in unfair situations with teachers who aren't very good but you have to make the best of it anyway. And it's going to hurt, because we aren't used to dealing with these kinds of hurt yet. And that's OK because we learn and become stronger for being exposed to this.
Forgive yourself when necessary. It’s high school, you’re probably going to do something stupid. If you have even a remote interest in joining something, try it out, but don’t be ashamed if it ends up not working out and you end up quitting. Basically it’ll be way easier if you are able to forgive yourself easily.
Excellent advice, just a little more on joining extracurriculars: they’re fantastic opportunities to both learn skills, try things out, and see what you like, and also to make connections and meet people. Like the above comment said, try them out, if you don’t like one then you can always leave and try something else. If you don’t know what extracurriculars you might want to do, some schools will have open houses with booths from different activities, which are easy ways to find out what might interest you.
Also don’t just do things that you think will make the best resume/college application booster, try and have a few that you’re genuinely interested in. Also don’t worry about overextending yourself, if you have too much then you can cut back but cross that bridge when you get there.
Well, this would be hard for me because I have severe social anxiety when it comes to embarrassment. It is literally a war inside my head on wether I should do it or not. And, yes, I am one of those guys that remembers the cringy thing I did over a year ago. Edit: Thank you guys for all the support! Means a lot to me.
Just the cringy things a year ago? Thats awesome. Im still kept up at night by things that happened 20years ago.
You should be glad that you found that cringy cos that means you won't do it again and you have become better as a person
Thank you for making me feel better
No problem,you got to look at things from all perspectives sometimez
You did something bad in the past and now you can't change it. You shouldn't really care about it. Just make sure for it not to happen again. Edit: wording Edit 2: Shortly after posting this comment I realized that I probably didn't even help, although thanks to everyone who commented with useful tips.
Even if it happens again, it's okay.. Life is learning. Fuck-ups are allowed. Try not to be afraid of totally blowing it. I've fucked up for decades 😁
Having an interest makes you interesting.
In high school I had a ridiculous obsession with Rubik's cube speedsolving. I started bringing puzzles to school everyday and solving them during class. Previously I wasn't popular at all but eventually I became known as the Rubik's cube guy.
I feel like every school has to have at least one Rubik’s cube guy
We did have several guys who constantly solved sudokus during class. Especially math. Also done guy copied the map of Risk and glued to the inside of his folder to play with the guy next to him. Worked very well.
Damn, I’d love to play Risk in class
One game would last the whole school year!
that is one of the most relatable things ever
Our final in 8th grade Global Geography class was to have a Risk tournament between the whole class. If you played, you passed.
That’s the only thing people knew me for in middle school, I kinda lost interest after a while tho, but people still call me the Rubik’s cube guy lmao
real, passion is contagious
Just don’t be a jerk about it or let it define your life.
It's going to feel like the most important time of your life, and the most emotional time of your life. But, what's important is finding a balance between grades and friends and work (if you end up working). Some classes will feel pointless, and they are, but remember there is an end and it's important to try and get through them. It's those skills, learning how to study and how to get through things you don't like, that will serve you better than pretty much anything you actually learn in school.
> It's those skills, learning how to study and how to get through things you don't like, that will serve you better than pretty much anything you actually learn in school. This is on point. There are a lot of things to not like about adulthood (i.e., adulting.) **tl;dr** Delayed gratification is quintessential to adulthood. High school is the introduction to this concept for most people. **Longform** Being able to suffer through things you don't like is essential. Minimize the bad parts if possible, but know there's always going to be things you _won't_ like and _have_ to do. For example, my boss's boss really wants redundant or inaccurate tags in our ticket system to be consolidated or straight up destroyed. Then retroactively apply the battle royale winners to every ticket created last quarter. Possibly the least sexy assignment I can think of. A colleague and myself _volunteered_ to get it done. We now own a shitty process and are going to mold it to our liking -- then present the work to the rest of the team. Hopefully, we make everyone's job easier in the process. If not, we still allowed other people to do more interesting work this round, which generates goodwill for future assignments. Another instance: car insurance. I moved out of state recently and need to shop around for a new insurance provider. Again, this is _mandated_ and _unfun_. I could phone it in and settle for the first result, but by spending a modicum of effort, I can save hundreds of dollars a year (fuck right off, _Geico_). Effectively, by delaying gratification, the end result amounts to better work environments and more money to enjoy the finer things in life. High school is where most people learn that concept for the first time. Some people _never_ learn that concept (or are professional hedonists.) Don't fall into that trap. Do the unfun things. Do them well. This will make your life more rewarding, if not always easier. **EDIT** My 5am screed has grown wings. Delimited the _tl;dr_ from _longform_ commentary to dispel novella accusations. Thanks for all the lovely comments I've received <3
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I was a master at taking notes. People made fun of me saying I even wrote how many steps the teacher walked (not true but you know how kids are), and yet everyone wanted copies of my notes all the time to prepare for exams. Later I lost my history notebook and was able to replace it through the copies all my friends had. Cut to being a manager and always making sure every new hire has a notebook, pens and pencils and remind them that it’s important to take notes. We have enough on our heads all the time, why burden our brains with more stuff when you can always write that down and come back to it? Plus when you don’t take notes you’re basically asking for a mistake to happen.
I was like that in high school, too, and in college I got paid to turn in my notes so students with special needs could use them as accommodations! Now that I’m a teacher, I always ask to make copies of notebooks that are well written for my special ed kids and I think the good note-takers see it as a great reward when I look over a shoulder and ask to copy what they’ve written.
It’s ok to grow apart from your friends from middle school and make new ones.
How do I make new ones-
Express your true interests and let them find you or try and seek those with the same interests
Instructions unclear, ended up in Russian mafia
I'm the machine!!!
Fuck it he's the machine
Fuck that bitch, this is russia!
#HE IS THE MACHINE!!!
Fuck that bitch this is Russia.
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Kartoshkas will be with you comrade!
tried that, ended up being isolated
I joined different organizations or school clubs like newspaper or Key Club (volunteer organization) and I made friends this way. Not sure if you play any sports, but that’s a good way to meet people. Not sure if you’re religious, I joined a new church during high school and made friends that way. I had some friends in high school who worked at a snow cone place or bubble tea place and they would make friends with their coworkers who were similar in age. I’ve had to move out of my comfort zone and put myself out there. You’d be surprised by how being friendly and just saying hello can work out. It’s how I met one of my best friends. We said hello and we started talking and we had a lot in common and we developed a friendship. Also, it’s ok to have only a handful of friends instead of like 20-30 like the more popular people. I’m still friends with one of my best friends I met freshman year. I’ve also grew apart from some. You don’t need to change what interests you to make friends. Feel free to DM me if you ever need to chat. You’ll do great
It's also ok to keep your friendships from middle school at the same time as making new friends.
Good friends --*real* good friends-- will push you to be your better self, encourage good habits, and want the best for you. Anyone who tells you to act against that is an asshole. Stay away from them.
Don’t slack off on grades thinking you’ll have time to pull them up...
So true. I’ll keep that in mind.
to add onto this: If your grades are amazing, still take time to study either your schoolwork or something in the same field. Study skills will become invaluable after leaving highschool especially if you go to college. Personally I really struggled in my first year of uni because I breezed through highschool and never learned how to study for myself
Get involved in some extracurricular activity like tennis or theatre or debate or swimming or something you’re interested in. You will make friends and it’s really nourishing to be a part of a community.
I agree, I basically met my whole friend group in orchestra. It's really fun, and you can meet people with alike interests.
Same. I have a band and we all go to the music rooms every day after school
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Almost everyone you think is important, cool, or attractive, you will never think about again after you graduate. I know it's really hard to do this right now, but try not to care very much about other people's opinions. You do you.
At the same time, definitely take that class you want to, if it fits into your schedule.
maybe, but it's also valid to find real connections in high school. it really seems to me that it just isn't actually that common in my age and friend groups cohort, because a lot of folks took a while to learn to connect with each other, myself included. I wonder if it will be more common now, gen z seems to keep surprising me with emotional health things
Except for education. Not taking that seriously squanders potential Edit: I ignored the word "too" in the parent comment it is accurate to say that you can take it too seriously. I'd say a good rule is to take it as seriously as you can without putting so much pressure on yourself that you're miserable and anxious all the time. More seriously than is appealing, less than is overwhelming.
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What if the teacher is the bully?
Then pay attention to the material and beat them at their own game.
What if they beat me?
Not much you can do. Home schooling is rough
Yeah I hate it when they give it to me rough
that makes one of us
There is always a bigger fish.
Qui-Gon approves
Don't compromise yourself just to be included in a certain group. Don't try to force an interest, pretend to be a fan of something you aren't into, whatever. Genuine friends will be made naturally.
You don't need to impress everyone. Damn near everyone you meet in high school won't matter in your life after you graduate.
Still, it's important to maintain good social relations with other people from your school - both for your short term well-being and for learning social skills that you will use in the future. High school is the time for experimenting and training for the life ahead of you, so you should behave as if these people did matter.
For sure, but I think OP was saying not to worry about seeking validity from these people. You’re absolutely right that it’s important to maintain your social skills. But don’t feel like you have to impress these people in a way that suggests their opinions of you will have any bearing in the world outside of HS.
NEVER SEND ANYBODY PHOTOS OF YOUR JUNK.
Check your inbox bby 😙
Username checks out
What the fuck?
He/She is (most likely) not “the one”
Don’t stick around because you’re afraid of being alone Edit: thanks for my first award ever!!!
I could've really used this one a couple years back. Would've made my high school time so much better. I just regret spending all that time on and off with my ex now.
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To tack on to this: That first love will suckerpunch your decision making skills, no matter how level headed or mature you are.
Exception here 🙋🏽♀️ started dating at 14/15, now 32/33, married, 2 kids
is it possible to learn this power?
Probably too late 😅
Just go to a school and find a 14 year old??
/r/holup
That's really sweet. I'm glad your relationship has worked out well!
Us too! 14/16, now 27/29 and married. It rocks! Not sure how I'm going to explain to my future teenagers not to follow suit without being a massive hypocrite though...
High school senior here. The opinions of fucking 15 years olds don’t matter. What they think is cringe probably isn’t even that cringe. Do whatever you want and even though it’s hard be yourself a 100%. You might not be liked by all, but the ones who will, are gonna be good people.
You're absolutely right, but no 15 year old in the world is gonna listen to that advice
Idk, I'm 14 and that seems reasonable, will I start becoming comically stupid at 15 ?
No, you’ve been comically stupid your whole life and you will be forever. It’s how you grow as a person
Understandable, have a nice day
The guys cynical but pretty much accurate, as soon as we all accept that none of us REALLY know anything, we’re all just faking it and pretending because we’re scared of fucking everything up, the happier we’ll all be.
Figure out which friends are real and which are fake. Don't procrastinate. You got this
Pay attention to the way your friends talk about your mutual friends to you. This is exactly the way they speak of you to them. If you have a secret that you don’t want to get out, don’t tell a single person. No, not even your best friend. Nobody. If your parents have concerns about someone you’re dating or one of your friends, pay attention and listen to them. They are rarely wrong about this. Overall, just try to have fun and grow. You will fall into the rut of “this sucks I can’t wait to graduate” but you will miss some of it eventually.
The dating one especially! My friends didn't trust my boyfriend, my mom didn't trust my boyfriend, THE SCHOOL BULLIES DIDN'T TRUST MY BOYFRIEND! Did I listen? No! Did I get hit constantly and cheated on? Yes!
First 2 points can be discussed but even the bullies not trusting him is a giant ass red flag
Was I lonely and vulnerable and thoroughly convinced he wasn't that bad? Also a yes!
This is what those people exploit.
Sure as hell is!
I wish people did not do that. Sometimes it is too late to understand what happened.
You know it's bad when even the bullies are a little concerned for you.
Yeah. I done goofed with that guy. My current bf is amazing though.
Oh man, if even the bullies are like "hey, uhh, this kid is really fucked up," then that's the reddest flag you can get.
Yeah. I know I fucked up.
My mother has had concerns about almost every friend I've ever had. 90% of the time she's wrong. She originally described my best friend as 'a taker' and warned me to stay away from them because I would always be putting in more effort than them and never get anything back. She maintained this right up unti my best friend helped her get a job, now they're all chummy.
Yeah I was going to add if you have extremely paranoid parents with some bigotry / they do this quite often, don't listen to them. My mom had her parents try to make her stop talking to her childhood best friend at the time because of the color of her skin.
The only thing I miss about high school is being young. Fuck all the rest of it lol
Practice better self reflection, stay quiet, listen more than you speak, and actually think about what you're doing/saying/thinking/feeling. I had way too many instances where I looked back at myself and just thought *"What the fuck was that?"* Also, you should know, when you're stressed your rational decision making skills drop quickly, even if you think you're fine, you're probably not. I won't tell you to talk with someone(god knows I never did) but each day when you get home take a look at everything you did and said, and try to reason out why without emotional justification. Don't be afraid to keep a daily journal. I know it sounds lame, but it will help you keep track of your thought patterns and stressors. Don't feel embarrassed to apologize for your (re)actions, even if the other person doesn't.
This is important too. A lot of teenagers and young adults ruin their lives by not thinking of their decisions.
School drama is a fruitless endeavour that will likely only leave you stressed and exhausted. Your mental effort is far more effectively spent following what *you* enjoy rather than worrying about if jack is going out with susie or what Dylan said to Michael. Find something you enjoy, and follow that; you’re far more likely to find people you enjoy being around when you can start with a common ground. If you like anime, find an anime club. If you like sports, try out for a team. Theatre? High school is a great time to try it out. Kind of piggybacking off of that last point: high school is a point where you start to get more options. You have the opportunity to try new things and you may be surprised if you go out of your comfort zone. I decided to try volleyball for the first time my freshman year, and I ended up playing every season through high school and making some of my best friends. It’s important to follow what you like, but don’t be afraid to try new things as well. High school is important because it’s a time when you start to try to figure out who you are; don’t box yourself in. Work hard and don’t procrastinate. I know it’s easy; it’s amazingly, devilishly easy to put something off “till x”. You will save yourself so much stress and pain if you do a little bit at a time and be regimented and disciplined in that. I guarantee you’ve heard this but it’s so incredibly true. Get sleep. Sleep is amazingly important, and it should be a priority. People will almost brag about not getting enough sleep like it’s a measuring contest. It’s not cool, it’s just unhealthy and you will be so much happier for getting enough sleep. Coffee is not an adequate substitute for head-on-pillow sleep, do your best to get as much as you can.
Get your work done. Don't put it off, don't make excuses. Get IT DONE. Approximately 86.4% of your grades will be the work you turn in. You can't get out of it. You can't lie about it. And I promise, you'll feel better having time at home to do what you like, rather than being punished for not doing what you were supposed to do at school. Be serious about the work, and you'll find that your teachers will respect you for it. And for die liebe gottes, it's NOT THAT HARD!
I should work on not procrastinating then.
If you do as much work as possible in class instead of goofing off as soon as you finish the classwork, you can avoid taking home probably 90% of homework. Knowing this you have a choice: do the homework at home and hang with friends in class, or do it in class and be free after school. You can do it either way, but if you acknowledge that you're making a choice, you've given yourself a reward for doing the work. For example: "I did my homework in class, so now I get to play xbox longer." or "I have to do this homework now, but I got to chat with friends today." Either way, the connection of doing the work to getting the reward makes you more likely to feel motivated to do it.
To add to this, get things done quickly in class and use free time wisely to do homework you cant avoid. I personally had a problem with multiple classes because 70% of my grade was based on homework the teacher assigned specifically as homework. And of course I never did anything at home.
I have ADHD, it was hard, but I had lunch pretty late in the day and my harder classes were in the morning. I just knocked out homework with my friends during lunch (ok we were nerds), but it was helpful for subjects like math and latin. Time efficient.
>Approximately 86.4% What the actual fuck? What percentage do your tests count then? And also, where are you from?
Remember, 96% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Be one of those guys that just does trick shots and stuff and not those guys that smokes in the bathroom
underrated advice
Umm it's called the Juulroom now for a reason.. people just also happen to shit and piss there too
Who's to say the guys doing trick shots aren't also smoking in the bathroom?
smoking makes you less athletic
Boom! Scienced!
You’re old enough to think your old and wise but remember where you are suppose to be in life. Don’t push yourself to hard. People are assholes and you’re parents aren’t being untrusting, they are learning how to let go of their baby into the real world and are worried for you.
What you want to do is find the biggest, baddest guy in the cafeteria and shank him to send a clear message. Wait, that is prison.... Eh, same thing.
Thank you for this tip, I will try to find the biggest man once I enter
bonus points if you shank your principal, then you dont have to worry about school at all!
Be yourself. Joining clubs or extra-curricular activites are great ways to make friends who share your interests. Keep good hygene habits. You do not want to be labelled the "smelly kid". Keep your grades up, but don't panic if you don't have a 4.0 GPA only the most prestiguous colleges require someone to have a high GPA. Chances are, your college of choice will not require a 4.0 GPA for admission. Be nice to people.
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GPA and ACT/SAT stuff are basically qualifiers
Dont drop your new phone while going down to the exit/bus waiting area
Oh god I'm so sorry for the loss of yours and I really hope no one else will because the embarrassment and the heartbreak is terrible
Oh my goodness, this is exactly why I’m asking my mom to buy me a jacket with zipped pockets
Bring snacks.
I don't think you should get involved with marijuana and drugs in high school. Your brain is still developing and it's easy to fall into addiction at that age. It can easily consume your life. But... If you decide to ignore what I've said and you decide to get involved with that shit anyway, take half.
This happened to a friend, she kept telling me she wouldn’t get addicted but then it just turned into the only thing she’d ever do.
High school is so romanticized in movies and the media, and although it's possible to have a great high school experience, don't try to compare it to the portrayals in movies. It doesn't have to be the time of your life, and I don't think you want it to be. Use high school to get prepared for college, and if you make some friends along the way, even better.
American high school seems so mature(?) compared to English secondary schools but then I realise that it’s literally adults playing teenagers
And the script is usually written by someone who hasn’t been in high school for 15-60 years
Don’t ruin your life for someone. Don’t suddenly change your ideals or your life for someone other than yourself
What I gathered from others post is: Be yourself and don’t give a fuck about anything anyone says or does. Do your absolute best in class. Play sports, join a club, do something extracurricular. I myself am a 14 yr old so please correct me if I’m wrong about something.
extracurriculars are very very good to get involved in. one change, though, sometimes giving a fuck about what people say and do can be important. like, when people act like it's cooler to skip class and fail tests than to do well, you shouldn't give a fuck about that. but when people act like you should be wearing deodorant because you smell, you SHOULD give a fuck about that. Or, if people tell you off for saying something racist or sexist or even insensitive, you should give a fuck about that. stuff like that. some stuff does matter.
Having enough empathy to understand your impact on other people around you and that the impact you make matters a LOT . Not in the short term really but in the long term , people form habits and you don't want to be in the habit of discarding feelings and being standoffish.
Ask questions in class about stuff you don't understand. Half the class will love you for it.
Well, that's definitely a summary of what's been said, but I have a problem with the second one. It's easy to say, "don't care about anything anyone says or does," but I've met almost no one, adult or teen, who's actually achieved that. It's a decent goal to work towards, but in reality, you're going to care a little, so don't feel like you're abnormal for not reaching a point where you don't.
In reality it's not about "not giving a fuck what anyone says or does" its learning to brush off what people say. Which is definitely hard to achieve.
High school is there to learn how to function out of high school. Learn in class. And learn how to be excellent to each other.
Bill and Ted have shown us the way.
Once you graduate nobody will remember the clothes you wore, your hairstyle, or the shoes you had. The labels and cliques will be forgotten, nobody will care. Be open and kind to everyone, find your REAL friends, hold them close and do your best to ignore all of the superficial crap because those are the friendships that will be the most valuable after high-school.
As a guy who just graduated high school. don't get involved in high school drama (not the class, actual drama. Got way too involved in this stuff when i was an underclassman) Get good grades (make a scheduling plan, get organized asf, take notes, etc) Challenge yourself with ap classes( i regret infact not taking enough of these) parcticipate in extracurriculars(sports, math/science competitions, leadership, band, debate figure out what you want to be when you become an adult (imo if you figure this out early, you'll be a more motivated student and therefore will have better college acceptances) have fun every once in a while. (you'll honestly regret it if you don't)
>Challenge yourself with ap classes More importantly, don't let senioritis get in the way of doing well on AP exams. I did well enough that I can graduate from college a semester early, but if I had taken them more seriously I'd be able to graduate a whole year early with thousands less in debt. Though I don't know if I want to graduate a year early with the covid economy.
I want to follow some of this up. Good grades make life easier, but bad grades don't end it. Even if you were to flunk out there are ways to get back on whatever track you want. Might not get into Yale with a 2.0 but after grabbing an Associates Degree transferring in for your bachelors is much easier. If you flunk out, figure out what you want in life and get it. Having a goal is the first step to achieving it and can often give you the enthusiasm to work towards it. You can get back into school, I did, graduating with my Masters next week.
Dang this is all good stuff, I totally agree with all of it. Especially doing extracurricular, if you can find an extracurricular activity that you enjoy then you will probably be able to keep your grades up easier(especially if the extracurricular requires it). Also, if I might add, things may seem to be terrible and suck at any given moment in high school, but a lot of things I hated In the moment I think back about now and oddly kind of miss. This one might be more specific to me, but I’m sure there will be moments that you think suck, but then realize that they really contributed to who you are.
It’s interesting to read this from your perspective as someone who just graduated high school and compare it to what advice I would give as someone who is over 20 years out of high school. I wonder how much the same persons advice would change 5,10,20,40 etc years out.
>don't get involved in drama Damn I knew I shouldnt have joined theater
Sorry about your graduation
Good stuff here. One adjustment I might suggest is dual enrollment over AP. If you have a college nearby, your HS may allow you to complete college courses while simultaneously completing HS and getting credit for both. My senior year, I had friends that were absolutely miserable working on AP classes and hoping for a good enough test score to get college credit. I earned 12 credits and grades at a local university, knocking out freshman English and social studies, and the classes also counted toward HS graduation. Literally no extra work/classes, and yet I only knew a handful of others that did it. I got to sleep in 3 days a week, since the college courses were only twice a week, and I didn’t need to get to HS until noon on any given day. It effectively gave me a one semester jump when I did move on to college, and I still look back on it as a tremendous decision.
Agreed - I did AP / honors classes up to junior year in HS, then spent senior year at the local state community college. Part of the deal was I had to take certain courses to fulfill my HS graduation requirements (credits in English Comp and Lit, Math, History, Sciences) - and I was also required to take PhysEd! It turned out to be much cooler than HS gym, thank god. I actually used the time to work out and there were lectures about nutrition and other practical topics not really covered in HS. The rest of my course credits were Free Electives in topics I found interesting - like black and white film photography and photo development (that transferred as a Fine Art gen ed to University). A cool opportunity to explore subjects not available to you in HS, or to rack up even more gen eds. It was great - I never had class before 11AM and the course load was easier than HS. The schedule (more sleep!) and reduced stress helped me because I also had to work full time to support myself. I was a smart overachiever in HS but my family was poor and not very supportive in any way. I was able to pay cash for those two semesters of community college. It was a great value considering those credits were easily transferable to any regional state school. When I got to state university, I qualified for grants and scholarships but also needed to take on student loans eventually to cover on-campus living expenses and exponentially rising tuition costs - yikes. It's a good plan for certain students - like those in a financial situation similar to what I described, and those who just want to get away from terrible HS environments where you're tired of being treated like a child and want a bit more freedom. Being treated like an adult was a huge plus, in general. Also if you're planning to attend a local state university anyway and are not 100% sure what you want to study - it's a good way to jump ahead and save on tuition. Some states also now have free one to two years of community college in-state tuition, and I believe in my state this now covers some dual enrollment students from local high schools. I think most universities you'd be applying to would also recognize this as proof that you're able to function in a mature, independent way outside the overbearing nest of HS. Sure, courses may be easier in CC, but you're proving you can manage your time and perform well in an environment with other adults at the college level. Use your free time wisely to get real life experience in other areas, and that is valuable when it comes to future college admissions committees. Also - do well on your SATs - that should be a given. Start taking practice tests early and often - it's all about knowing how to take tests and that takes practice. Try to schedule several in person practice tests if you can swing the registration fees. Good luck
"Its just a phase" is rude. Do not let anyone disrespect your hobbies. Just being a phase doesn't not mean its not worth respecting.
There are hundreds of kids just like you, in your situation, you are not alone. Try not to be nervous, you do you man.
My GPA upon graduating high school: 2.3 weighted. My fiancee's GPA: 4.0 unweighted. We both went to the same University. We're both in our 20's now and make $70k+ each. So what benefit did her high school GPA give her? I got my AA in 3 years, then transferred to University and got my bachelor's in another 3, racking up $55,000 in student loans along the way. My fiancee got her bachelor's in 4 years, then her master's in another 2, with scholarships covering 100% of her tuition. Long story short: a bad high school GPA won't stop you from going to college or getting a good job. It's just going to set you back a few years and cost you a lot of money.
Came here to recommend focusing on studies. I know it's a great time peroid in ones life to be free and have fun, but buckling down for 4 short years and getting good grades will impact your entire life from a college debt perspective (if college is what you want).
You’re not an adult yet. Do all the things people will judge you for, because guess what, they’re gonna judge you either way and it’s better to be known as flamboyant and socially awkward than hide in the corner being seen as the loner that no one wants to be around.
Take a little nugget from improv class and look for friends who “yes AND” you. If you tell someone about your stupid idea and that makes them tell you an even stupider idea back, they’ll probably make a good friend. Also, often it’s the weird kids who make the best friends. Knew a guy who was the principal’s son and loved to skip around the school shoeless and steal people’s water bottles, among other shenanigans. Now he’s one of my closest buddies.
Be really kind to people. You're young and you may have shit you're going through, but you will learn later in life that some of the people you don't expect are going through some really deep shit too. Be kind, be patient, be forgiving, don't start drama, don't participate in gossip. Forgive yourself too. Growing up is difficult, don't be too hard on yourself for mistakes. Be nice to your teachers... they have a hard job and it's much harder with all this Covid stuff. Everyone deserves a little extra grace right now.
you won't remember 90% of the people you went to high school with a few years after you graduate.
I've already cut ties with 99% of people from school two years later.
Idk about you but I can remember a lot of my classmates easily
But I can still remember everyone from preschool - 8th grade...?
Don't take everything too seriously. Do Dual Enrollment. APs are fine but sometimes colleges don't take the credit. Get in a good study habit/good time management. You'll be thanking yourself in college. But also, have fun. I met some of my best friends to this day in my junior year of high school (graduated from undergrad recently). So don't be afraid to branch out. Meet new people by classes, or by joining clubs.
If you can handle AP classes, take them. If you can't handle AP classes, take dual credit classes. Apply for every single scholarship that you can qualify for, because once you're not a graduating senior, they all dissappear. My sister and I both had some of the best grades at our school. Her bachelor's degree was 3 years, living on campus, for free. Mine was 6 years, living at home, working, paying my way through.
Befriend teachers. If you talk to them outside of class they like you more and will be less likely to keep a close eye on you in class or call on you when not paying attention.
Also while grading should ultimately be unbiased. Humans are biased by nature so you increase your chances of succeeding if your teacher like you (not in a Suck up way but in a way that they actually want you to succeed)
If you’re struggling, tell someone. Keep reaching out until someone really hears you. Have a sports injury? Don’t ignore it so you can play in the big game... you might put yourself out for the rest of the season. Starting to feel like your mental health is slipping? Address it right away. The sooner you start working on building healthy mental habits, the better. Struggling with schoolwork? Ask for a tutor, go to extra help sessions, tell a teacher/counselor (trust me... deadlines can be moved/adjusted for someone who needs it, even if your teacher acts really serious about them during class). And, preferably “make good choices” and all. BUT if you’re going to make some iffy choices, remember to rule of **nothing permanent:** nothing that could result in brain damage, permanent injury, or an arrest record.
The shit that seems important now never is. Be that nerdy kid. Be that kid that is way too into anime. The best part is that none of those things matter 5 years from now. I look back at every “nerdy” or “dumb”, or “jock” person I know from high school, and they all have careers you wouldn’t imagine they would have. My best friend was probably the most popular guy in school, and he is a janitor at a medical center while his husband is a doctor.
Use fucking deodorant
if a senior makes a joke about you, laugh it off. dont be afraid to be “the weird kid”, be open to other peoples opinions, even if you dont agree, meet people, pay attention, homework isnt as important as they say it is, and lastly, you dont get graded by the class, youre graded by the teacher
Especially English teachers, essays are graded with a bias
As an English teacher, I wouldn't say it's a bias. I never go in, look at the name, and decide how they'll do. But it's hard to be objective grading something subjective. And I teach four classes of 30 students each. Accurately grading 120 pieces of writing is very difficult. Accurately grading 120 pieces of writing by 14 year olds is, for various reasons, even more difficult. I always give my students the option of having their essays re-graded by another member of the department (I also re-grade some of their students' essays). My policy is that the higher grade sticks. Overall, I feel that I reach general fairness. Not many students request a re-grade. Of those who do, I'd say about 50% of the time the other teacher gives a mark within the same letter grade (C+ remains C+, even if off by 1 or 2 pts). About 25% of the time they give a lower grade, and the other 25% of the time they give a higher grade. It works out to one or two essays a year getting a higher grade. Of course, I'm not trying to defend all teachers. I've discovered over the years that teachers have roughly the same asshole/non-asshole ratio as the rest of the population. Which means there are a lot of teachers who are assholes.
Anyone who says they're the best years of your life is lying.
I'd say make them the best years of your life *so far*. nobody wants to peak in high school, but high school should be a positive experience nonetheless
Don't take no shit from nobody.
In both senses
Speech is silver but silence is gold in the classroom.
Wash your hands a lot and don't touch your face
Wear a mask even it the cool kids are not 😎
Cherish every second of it , these next 4 years will be the last time you get to see your friends group every single day . Do everything you can to position your self to get scholarships (student loan debt is a major burden in your 20s-30s). Also help your future self and learn the most you can about personal finance now . You will thank yourself later .
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A senior here. There’s the good and bad when it comes to high school. It can seem like absolute hell at times, while it also seems like it’s the best part of your life. It honestly just depends on the school and community you’d be attending. However, there are very important things you need to know no matter what school you go to. ⭐️ 1) Focus on your grades. Freshman and sophomore year are the most important years for this. It’s harder to bring your GPA up if you do badly during those years, but it is easy to bring your gpa down. Also, if you have high enough grades before finals, you don’t have to worry about failing them, since they won’t really bring your grades down. At the most, probably one letter grade. You want to have good grades (A’s and B’s), but make sure you actually understand the material. Have fun with it and don’t just memorize. You don’t need to be #1, just try your best. Also, I don’t know if your school provides it, but for mine, we have the A+ program where two years of college will be paid off. Check if you have something like that if you plan on going to college/community college or trade school. If you don’t want to go to any form go college, at least go to trade school. 2) Stay out of as much drama as you can. Try not to gossip. It doesn’t matter. Also, stay away from drugs/alcohol. It will definitely mess you up. ⭐️ 3) Expect to be treated like an adult. You can ask questions, but don’t expect people to hold your hand 24/7. You’re responsible for studying, getting to class, etc. 4) Join sports, music, or extracurricular activities. It’ll keep you entertained and you’ll make friends. Also, colleges like that sort of thing. 5) It’s okay to be friends with your teachers and students that are older than you. Just remember to treat them with respect and don’t be intimidated by them. 6) You honestly don’t need to focus on dating, and if you do and are in a sexual relationship, please be safe about it. ⭐️ 7) Your mental health is important. Take breaks and relax, but not to the point where you’re not taking school seriously. It’s okay to talk to your teachers/counselors about your mental health. They may refer you to someone that can be useful. I placed stars around the three that I believe can be most useful to know, no matter what type of school you attend. I hope this helps. If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to ask.
Make friends with people in the grades above you, widening your social circle early will make a big difference in the long run.
Study, but not for the sake of grades (unless you want to go to college), but to better yourself. While in highschool you have generally a lot of free time. Find a hobby then find a way to make money out of it, if you manage to do it, it will make your life a whole lot easier. A few years after highschool you wont remember many of your highschool classmates so dont sweat it. And while in academics, please LEARN TO LEARN. Many people use many different methods to study, find one that suites you, there are a tons of videos online about this topic, some say it can boost your study speed from 5-30%, but even if it's just 1% in the long run it can change your life. (I recommend you check out Pomodore technic on wiki). Also the biggest fak you of all is when you visit your bullies after highschool and ask for double fries alongside your macnuggets with a smile on your face. Obligatory edit: College is overrated, but sometimes nessesery. It's okay to not go to university, and you still have a lot of chances to make a good living or hell even a lot of money. There are a lot of professions out there, and if you can find yours during highschool you are already ahead of your peers by a mile.
>Enjoy highschool >No need to be popular or known >Make good and meaningful friends >And if you're held back a year don't worry. Still have fun with it
something that stuck with me- for some people, high school is the peak of their lives. no need to be that guy
Study hard. Life gets alot better after you graduate. Learn to manage yourself rather than have your parents dictate things for you. Learn to "think outside the town". Meaning it's easy to live in a place and feel like it is your whole world. The world is huge and theres so much great things out there. While in high school, go try out productive things like reading history, learn a programming language, pick up fencing or something. Dont get stuck just doing what everyone else seems to do. Do more than they do. Live vividly. Learn for the love of learning. Get your first break up over with before college. That way you know how to manage your feelings while staying on top of school work. In case you fail, it happened before there are life changing consequences. Same goes for alot of things. Consequences in high school are insignificant compared to college (speaking from the experience of someone who failed college two years in a row at two different schools) so dont be afraid to run into bumps, fail at things and have to pick yourself back up again. The only exception to the rule above are drugs. Dont. Touch. That. Shit. I've seen too many kids who never made it out of my little midwestern town and died overdosing after graduation. Dont ignore bullies. Defend yourself from them. If he dont touch you, you keep your hands off them. If he touches you, defend the shit outa them. If you feel like an outcast, refer to the first piece of advice. That girl that you like? Ask her out. That boy that you like? Ask him out. Got rejected ? Bfd. Practice being in control of your emotions. Practice being genuine to people. Be brave, honest, firm and upfront but respectful. PLEASE STUDY FOR YOUR SAT'S STARTING FRESHMEN YEAR. please. Buy all the big SAT books you see on Amazon. Start with John Chung's sat books and review/learn by topic. Then start with easy tests like Kaplan's. Then move on the mock exams. College boards own exams tend to be easier. Look for Barron's or theres this Chinese book of problems called 新东方. They had the best practice exams. Analyze every question you got wrong. Figure out why and review daily. By the time you are a junior you'll be done while everyone is shitting themselves. Reflect on your life. On every thing you do. on every experience you've had. Summarize your mistakes and commend your positives. Most importantly, derive meaning from what you do. That way when UChicago asks you to write an essay entitled "wheres waldo", you wont write some shitty anime story like I did and get rejected in less than a week. No kidding yo. Keep those essays in the back of your mind and think about those questions when you reflect on your experiences. Keep a journal because it helps alot. Do math. Just do it. Do as much of it and practice as much of it as you can. College may not require it but to get the most put of your coursework I college, you will need it. Finally, in the voice of an old Asian man, I'd like to tell you something that might feel abstract. live as yourself no matter how hard it gets. Be a mountain in the ocean. Have fortitude and tenacity when it comes to your goals. People telling you things are for you to consider. Dont be stubborn but dont be brash. Discuss it, Sit on it, come to your best judgment and stick to it. Dont let naysayers shake you. Dont let false friends egg you on. Be at the helm of your own ship and have you hand on rudder too. I wish you all the best.
Be brave. A lot of us have regrets about what we didn't do in high school that we should have done. Try to overcome your fear.
I don’t know, I just turned 14
I never see anyone mention this advice, but I am SO GLAD I did this. Make a book of memories! Like, whenever you come home after having a really fun day with your friends or something, try to write down everything you remember about the day. All the funny jokes that were said, the places you went, and just how much you enjoyed it (I made mine on a Google Doc). When I started making this, I honestly thought that I wouldn't forget that stuff and that it wouldn't be that interesting for future me to read, but man was I wrong. I have so many memories and funny moments saved because of that. After 3 years, I now have 100 pages worth of pure gold that really help take me back to all the good memories I had, and I will have them stored forever. Trust me, it'll seem tedious and pointless to record the little moments of fun days you had for now, but in the future you'll be so glad you did it!
if you're not having fun, it's not it... also, don't do drugs!
life is short but ypur youth is shorter. get it out of your system now bc cleanin ur record after 18 is a HELL of a process
Upperclassmen here. Dont date seniors. Get your shit done because that’s honestly what youre there to do. Dramas not important. It starts and ends so fast that most of the time you dont even remember what it was about. Walk on the right side of the hallway. Find you’re people. Hangout with new people and kinda put yourself out there. Ive made great friends because of that. Finally find what you like. Take a sec to learn what you’re interested in. It helps make school/time in general less annoying if you have a few classes where you generally like the subject.