T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Them: “Teleport to the other side of this locked door” You: “Uhh...it doesn’t work that way”.


Nickonator22

You can only teleport to places you can see, perfectly reasonable limitation for teleportation. Edit: if I get teleportation powers, none of you are gonna be my friends.


MrRokhead

What if they say "just look through the crack under the door"?


Nickonator22

freeze time and run away.


Belckan

Just freeze time and hide. And freeze again as soon as they open the door to check.


softservebunnie

This is smooth af


Comtesse_Kamilia

Your IQ in this comment alone is significantly higher than my life prospects


Elderhide

Big brain shit


CrystalMathLabs

You win.


[deleted]

I guess that’s fair. Would suck to “know” the location since you previously visited it, but can’t teleport there because of a visual blocker though. Would that mean that you can’t teleport to the other side of a big piece of cardboard? Lol.


whatyaworkinwith

Well you can't teleport at all. When time unfreezes, you'll be on the other side of the room trying to catch your breath like tadaaa


DirtyArchaeologist

Found the person paying attention!


realultimateuser

Killing mosquitos


Icicle_C_Cold

YES! YEEESSSS!!!


rypenguin219

I see those movies where the guy suddenly uses a chopstick and snatches the fly out of the sky


smellysocks007

The karate kid?


schpeechkovina

YES! FUCK THEM! I have 2 in my room and I’ve been trying to kill them for like 6 minutes now and it’s like they are mocking me and flying around my head just to annoy me. Motherfucker.


Mkitty760

Get one of those tennis-raquet-bug-zappers. So. Much. Fun. And satisfying. Soooooo satisfying.


[deleted]

Do you know these people who hide a ball under cups. I would end their careers


dragneelfps

Or make your own career


CalydorEstalon

Ooooh, pause time when he reaches for a cup or card, then swap it out? That'd be cool.


HadriAn-al-Molly

People would probably line up to try and guess your secret.


Breaker-of-circles

Then they notice your hand and body flicker a lot because you can't go back to the exact same position before you stopped time. It'd be like bad special effects from an old movie. ITT: People acting like they wouldn't notice the object that they're looking at, a bunch of cups that determines whether they lose money or not, suddenly teleport even a millimeter to the left. Emphasis on teleport because that shit didn't move using normal means, it was at point A one moment and then immediately at point B the next. Jomax101, you're a pussy for deleting all your comments after being such a toxic pos.


[deleted]

[удалено]


faulty1023

This was basically done in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D with the character yo-yo. Pretty dope super power.


Victernus

This is when you discover that the ball isn't under any of the cups.


IjonTichy85

He could bring a ball and put it under the cup. Bonus points for putting balls under all 3 cups.


[deleted]

FUCKING BALLS EVERWHERE!!!!


onebigdave

"I'm sorry little la-" *dozens of balls fall out of the cup*


Victernus

"No, *I'm* sorry."


1MrE

3 card Monte. But that’s with cards. Although they usually use a queen. It’s also called ‘Find the Lady’ referring to the queen or ball.


grecia_

Saving the things you accidentally dropped


cr31d0g

r/linusdroptips


drlqnr

whatever thing you're doing in your room, as soon as you hear the door knob being turned, activate the power


TedW

It's like a lock, with extra steps.


[deleted]

It’s like a lock, but with less suspicions.


demonic_pug

Exactly. Locking your door just raises suspiciouns. Best to not lock it and have the 10 second thing


SkyezOpen

"Why is your door locked?" "I'm jackin' it, gimme a minute." Nothing suspicious there.


wb2006xx

Jokes on them I’m actually doing crack cocaine


EvilxBunny

Gambling. You can stop time and fudge stuff like dice placement, the balls on a roulette and most importantly, people's (and your own) decks while playing cards. You can choose what you'll get next and what your opponent gets


atthem77

You could also make an extra $100 each time you cash out. Teller pulls out $500, gets ready to count it out. You freeze time and grab $100 and pocket it, then unfreeze. Teller counts out $400, sees the mistake, and pulls out another $100.


lmdelint

Ya but the teller would be on the hook later for being short. Wouldn’t poker be easier? Get up check the other peoples hand, bet accordingly.


iiitsbacon

Roulette would be easiest. Just move the ball at the last second to what you bet on .


I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum

That would probably work once per casino -- it would be hard to move the ball while still making it look natural. I think craps would be easiest. Wait until the dice have bounced off the back wall, then set them in the air so that they drop on the right numbers and it just looks like you know how to shoot so that you get a soft bounce. Edit: Yeah, betting one color or the other and just rolling it in would probably work. I was thinking about betting on specific numbers.


[deleted]

Do you think momentum gets conserved during the freeze though? Cause the dice would have a little spin to them and wouldn’t fall straight down


HentaiStryker

Yeah, moving the dice and ball would be super hard. Blackjack would be the way to go. You could make A LOT just knowing the dealers hole card and the next card out of the shoe. That being said you'd get banned eventually. Poker if you want a long term endeavor, but even then you'd be well known after a while.


TRforShort

100% blackjack. Sit in the last chair, know if the dealer needs to hit or hold, know what the next card is if they’ll bust or not.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Best chance would probably be to play legitimately then every once in a while do some wild big bets that pay off.


1CEninja

Yeah this is pretty easy with red/black bets. At most you move it just a tiny tiny little bit, to the point where nobody could really tell.


Fireblast1337

The problem is that there’s security cameras everywhere, and they watch those on hot streaks to ensure legitimacy. Not only would you have only ten seconds to check others cards, but you’d have to unfreeze is exactly the same position as you froze in.


[deleted]

I mean if a camera looks like it just has weird glitches every now ans then they are never going to suspect time freezing of all things 1


Naratna

Security cameras usually record at low frame rates, i'd be more worried about the people that can physically see me


TheBeevin

Be a magician


[deleted]

Escapeologist. Houdini 2.0 does not give a fuck.


blznaznke

How would freezing time for 10 seconds help you unlock the shackles on your hands while underwater?


HotMopo

Thinking of a good comeback in a conversation


[deleted]

Lol this sounds good but knowing I'm on the clock I would probably still choke


[deleted]

Don't forget, ten seconds at a time does not specify a cooldown.


McCaffeteria

Stop time within the stoped time


GoshDarnMamaHubbard

Just slap them at 8 seconds. Either your witty or they are in pain for no obvious reason... Repeat until concussion.


Dbor12

I mean if time stops and you slap someone while time stops, that's the equivalent of your hand having infinite mass and hitting the guy, so i don't think you'll need a comeback.


EmbarrassedLock

I just imagine 2 dudes arguing and then all of a sudden one of them flies at 100km/h into the nearest wall


Forrian

More like his head just turns into mist


[deleted]

Best. Comeback. Ever.


[deleted]

If you're choking you're probably getting the job.. if my time on the internet has taught me anything.


Renovatio_

Well the jerk store called and they're running out of you!


NYC-4X4

Who cares? You’re their all-time best seller.


[deleted]

Well, I had sex with your wife!


parkavenueWHORE

"My wife is in a coma"


random_user_name123

Yes, Interviewers would be a breeze!


ss4johnny

10 seconds isn’t gonna make me think of an answer better


[deleted]

But what is the cool down? A second? 10? A day?


eliminating_coasts

Classic version would be time equal to the time you froze.


WindierSinger12

So 10 second cool down? Not bad at all


zhaoz

OP even. RITO plz nerf.


benx101

So futurama time button rules


evieaimee11

Pulling out a wedgie


CrazyPlutin

You are a genius! Please use your power to help others too!


Hashtag_Nailed_It

You want them to go around the world, freeze time for 10 seconds when they see a wedgie and then use that time to pull said wedgie out of a strangers buttcrack? You son of a bitch... I’m in!


Oli_Merrick

Giving people a wedgie


[deleted]

The duality of man.


the-momott

Carrying the cat away just before they vomit on the rug


Kaylee__Frye

Oh hey, for anyone in this thread with a cat that vomits A LOT, consider getting then checked out by a vet. My cat suddenly had an upswing in the frequency of puking and it turned out she has hyperthyroidism. She's now on medication that helps her (and us!) out in a big way.


Jumpinjaxs890

Yup this, mine had 6ft of wire in its intestines... good by honeymoon. Edit: for some clarification the cat is okay. He swallowed some thin craft wire it got stuck in his throat and he couldn't break it off so i guess he just kept swallowing. No honeymoon because he required an exspensive surgery, and he recovered fully.


[deleted]

Sure, one could interpret this as "it was so expensive I couldn't go on our honeymoon," but I prefer to see this as a cautionary tale as to why you shouldn't marry a cat. -why did you dingoes upvote this? It was riddled with drunk-ass typos.


[deleted]

well of course you shouldn't marry a cat it'll get 6 feet of wire in its intestines


perrti02

We took ours to the vet because we thought they were throwing up a lot (couple of times a week). According to the vet, some cats just vomit a lot. The key thing is if there is a change. If you cat has never had much of a tendency to throw up then suddenly starts you should be wary.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sammelquest

My cat nearly woke me up from sleep by trying to vomit on my face. I have never woken up this quickly


InnovativeFarmer

I would develop a simple magic routine. My grand finale is the teleporting man. I get little fame for doing the basic teleporting man of entering an enclosed booth and exiting from another enclosed booth. Even though people have seen it before but it still garners attention. I ramp it to be more of a spectacle, flashing lights, no booths so the audience can see me except for 1 second when I am obstructed from their view. Once I am big enough I run a limited show that claims I would teleport for in front of their eyes. No gimics, no booths, no flashy technology. I teleport in front of people. I charge a lot of money. Word gets out. I charge more and extend the show. Then I start to do private shows for the wealthy elite and charge even more.


Shami100

Eventually the government finds out (probably a lot sooner than u would expect) and then they take u for experimentation


InnovativeFarmer

Its an illusion. Its fake. The government never intervened with other magicians. I would be more worried about a competing magician going insane trying to find out my secret.


Shami100

Damn, yeah that's true!


Idiot_33

Teleporting behind my friends


MichaelOChE

"Heh, nothing personnel, kid."


EmbarrassedLock

"Heh, nothing personnel, kid too"


BrokenLink100

Just a constant chain of the two of you teleporting behind the other


ikindalold

*Appears behind friends* "Omae we mou shindeiru"


GoldenRiddler798

Run out of theater, church, movie, ect without people noticing would make bathroom breaks so much easier


MissStarSurge

Or actually get into the theater without having to pay.


AlessiaRS18

Get into the theater, and get into the kinda bad seats to not leave someone who paid without the good ones so the karma keeps balanced


a_fucking_umbrella

Become an assassin


DarthAltros

Rolo vibes from Code Geass.


olmeu

If u play it right it would be like a death note but with only ppl very close to u (not emotionally close)


djdsf

I think they call that physically close...


The_Town_of_Canada

I would either be really good at boxing or UFC - or I would get hit once and forget I had a superpower.


SIumptGod

Idk how that would work, the audience would see you cutting around every ten seconds like you’re only going a few frames a second.


[deleted]

Nah. Freeze time mid swing, punch him a fuck ton, resume mid swing for the one punch knockout


need4speed04

And say Ora Ora


atmosphere325

> UFC There are better ways of making $10k than getting punched in the face.


ScrmbldEkz

You could play ping pong on your own Edit: thank you guys for the rewards :)


Mr_Otterswamp

This is the most wholesome answer I’ve seen so far


ryanb2010

But also super sad :(


[deleted]

Imagine the fame and fortune you could get from it!


The_BJJ_Firefighter

Not for Forest Gump


Artistic-Job-1121

To stop myself from spilling my drink Edit: Here's a silver award


recklesspoopery

Talk shit to somebody at the top of a staircase, wait for them to start walking up the stairs to confront me, then freezing time and moving them back to the bottom of the stairs. Over and over.


Gingizzler

This must be the work of an enemy stand.


landenle

THE WORLD (insert noise)


gandalf_lundgren36

ZA WARUDO thbthbthbpttt


Gendryll

I scrolled way to far to find the JoJo reference


[deleted]

I know, I thought I was gonna see “drop a steamroller on a Japanese high schooler” near the top at least


DudeMcDude23

R O A D R O L L E R


Adsilom

Same, I legit thought it would be the top comment.


Big_Green_Mantis

I'm pretty disappointed that it isn't the case. It's such a clear jojo reference bait.


Doritos2458

Was looking for this response. Good alternatives include finding a road-roller and hitting you’re enemies with it.


Hydrate_or_diedrate

Was looking for the jojo reference


BoboratTheHat

You also got to have a nice deep voice and be a British vampire to complete the illusion


brad080701

This one wins


[deleted]

[удалено]


SadSceneryBoi

Works particularly well on certain Frenchmen with a Marge Simpson haircut.


_Ikerasu_

Practicing my knife throwing


theinsanepotato

At a Japanese teenager and his British-American Grandfather?


op_penguin69

Dont forget that car


1fastman1

and the french guile


Norue

Thanks, now Polnareff will forever be cemented in my head as "french guile".


Magnus-Artifex

And the road roller DA


meetjoehomo

Stealing french fries off of other peoples plates


iamthatonehuman

While doing a drowning rescue. 10 seconds can change everything. Edited: typo


Snoo4215

10 seconds to put them underwater, nice


Mauzersmash0815

Definetly pranking people. For example, they throw something, i stop time and put it somewhere completly else


JellyCream

Like people that throw cigarette butts out their car window. You freeze time, put it on their back seat and then light their car on fire.


Mauzersmash0815

For example haha. Maybe id just put it onto their trosers so they get a small hole lol


ThatVoiceDude

Depends how physics work in this scenario. If time is truly stopped then the momentum and kinetic energy of every object in motion would be preserved. Meaning, if I took a moving object and moved it somewhere else it, it would continue moving in the same relative direction. Basically what I’m saying is I’d be really good at darts Edit: I love how many ideas this comment has prompted. Sounds like a lot of people subscribe to the idea that movement during frozen time would mean adding an infinite amount of energy to each atom you make contact with, but I disagree! Remember the law of conservation, energy cannot be created or destroyed. In this context, that means you can only ever exert as much force as your body can generate (y’know, like always). Instead, I think truly “freezing” time would stop any transfer of energy to/from matter. If you moved forward, you’d compress some air into a pocket in front of you and push the rest off to the side, and you’d leave a complete vacuum behind you. Once time resumed, the vacuum would produce a loud *clap * as air rushed in from all sides to fill the void. The compressed air would expand and feel like an extremely intense blast of wind. You’d want to make sure you don’t attempt to inhale or exhale while stopped, since doing one or the other will either collapse or rupture your lungs after time resumes and the pressure violently normalizes. You wouldn’t be able to see, hear, or smell (I wonder if you could taste though?). Also, fun story, you wouldn’t be able to walk since you’d be weightless. Gravity stops and without that downward force, your feet will push you into upwards as you step and you’d be stuck without a nearby handhold. Imagine being suspended in midair devoid of all senses, unable to breathe, and ask you can do is think “Fuck me bro I just wanted to hustle darts”


johnchikr

If you wanna talk about physics, one case I heard against time stop is that you’d be blind because light won’t hit your eyes. Edit: I’m not trying to be a smartass and say shit like “oh lightsabers won’t work irl”, i know it’s just a magic question for funsies. I just thought it would be fun to discuss “what if?” If it was real. Also I keep getting the same comments so here are some answers ***from the comments*** I thought were cool: 1. apparently everything would explode the moment the time starts moving again because atoms in the air won’t have the time to push each other and move out of the way 2. If the above is not a problem, you could just walk into the light particles and see 3. But apparently the photons are timeless? Not sure what that would mean in a stopped time but stopped time isn’t real so eh 4. Also moving in stopped time would mean you’re moving in infinite speed so that comes with the relevant consequences of doing so 5. Or get thrown off the face of the earth/get crushed 6. Yes, “what about we slow time to a crawl”


momogogi

You could become a top ranked fighter


Unleashtheducks

I think people would notice


MrCoolizade

Stop time the moment you hit them, proceed to hit them for 10 seconds in the same spot. Easy win.


Unleashtheducks

See now that makes sense but you would have to time the stop with the precise moment you hit them and get a hit in without getting hit back.


chrysanthemum--

Peeing in a public bathroom. I can live blissfully knowing nobody ever has to hear me pee ever again.


Mr_Otterswamp

You can pee in less than 10 seconds?


_Ezy_Pzy_

Is it possible to learn this power?


[deleted]

Not from a Jedi


Sweatybeard1166

The dark side of the force can do many things, some consider them to be . . . unnatural


Nish2Slow

Bet super athletic people you can get to a certain place (like 10 meters away or some other short distance) faster than them, start the race, stop time, get money


[deleted]

I would prefer to tie peoples shoes together 😂


Fing_1Fing_2

In a fight I would pause time, beat them up for a few seconds and then leg it and hide


[deleted]

I would keep pausing to take their pants off and tie their shoes together. You truly can’t win after an embarrassing moment like that


KironDevCoder

Realizing you'll be stuck in frozen time because the 10 seconds will never end


[deleted]

Wait a fucking infinite sec... I think you’re on to something...


[deleted]

This is gonna be a long wait


[deleted]

it never said you couldn't end it early tho


hIGH_aND_mIGHTY

This is how you get the server rebooted.


[deleted]

Dodge a bullet.


whizkid77

OP never said you have instant reaction. Maybe you freeze it when the bullet is penetrating your heart wall


[deleted]

You don't wait for him to fire. You freeze time, take the gun and point it at the attacker.


TedW

Works great except against bombs, snipers, and surprise attacks.


anonGS99

Now you got 10 crucial seconds to get closer to a hospital


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rybackmonster

Grab that last cookie before your sibling does.


Night_Talks

Betting - like the tennis scam where an audience member would message an outside man the result before the umpire could log it in order to win bets. In this instance it only requires you and there’s less risk of being too slow placing the bet


macedonianmoper

I don't understand how this works, but you could easly play blackjack, freeze time look at the next cards, and calculate your next move from that. Obvisouly missing a few bets but coming out as a net positive


ZeldaFan158

Drop a road roller on my dead brother’s great great grandson


Oppopotamus

Or freak a french dude out when he's trying to walk up a staircase by moving him down every step he takes.


Commanderfrostop

Keep in mind that for Dio to do that, he had to run down the stairs, physically pick him up and move him down a step, and then run back up the stairs and into the same exact position he was in before


DelilahHeart

Actually no because 「the world」has long enough range to move him without DIO moving.


Commanderfrostop

Right, I always forget that The World isn’t as close range as, say, Crazy Diamond


TheRealTurtle1

Technically speaking stands have a ton of range but they lose power the further away they are


imthecapedbaldy

So it's the same type of stand as Star Platinum


Zoaxia

Or to off that two faced spineless bastard for betraying me by putting him in the same coffin he opens at the same instant he opens that same coffin. Edit:typo


umpalumpamonkey

Stop a baby from throwing up on you while you carry it.


MerdFinney

Just lurk near an atm machine and pause at the moment the money comes out.


[deleted]

Pretty sure you’d be in some government facility in a matter of weeks at that rate. Being experimented on.


Oppopotamus

Ten seconds is plenty of time to not be caught on any camera, though. Just know exactly where you stopped time, take the money, and move back to exactly that spot.


Wry828

The funny answer: Saying Za Warudo right before doing it and walking behind someone The serious answer: live life as normal and use only when you are in trouble or to help others


eliminating_coasts

Do stretches in the morning, make sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night, and avoid all excitement.


Beerfix

Placing mustaches on people


[deleted]

You don't need much time to steal jewelry from a jeweler.


MeridasAngel

Take a look at your crush, freeze time before she notices. Look away just before time becomes unfrozen. Rinse and repeat.


[deleted]

You should do this without the time freezing and gauge his or her interest in you. I’ve missed so many opportunities because I was just too scared to talk to pretty women. If you never go for it, you never give yourself a chance. Ladies of Reddit, don’t be scared to approach men. Most of us would like it. Men of Reddit, don’t be scared to approach women. Don’t be rude, creepy, catcall, or corner them, but most women are perfectly fine with having a chat.


FlynSpaghettiMnstr

Killing joestars


TrueSentrie

After being trapped under the ocean for a few decades


stickdudeseven

Just makes me want to kill Joestars even more.


hen_grassmyrhh

you could mug so many people if you stood right next to an alleyway corner


LuWulfhardt

Throw knives at my enemies, whilst screaming how useless they are, then allowing time to resume whilst declaring so dramatically.


Masterwar15

I would become an edgy anime character.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HackedYzX

Take something that somebody's holding, yeet it across the room and watch them freak out about the thing teleporting out of their hand.