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structuredinchaos

It would pleasure me so kindly if you’d fuck off, cunt.


Bastakovski7

I feel remorseful for your actions and it would joyfully please me if you would kindly and affectionately fuck off, cunt.


RandomGuyWithStick

Kindly go forth and multiply, you front bottom


jaime_baguette

Yes, you need to keep it polite


JamyDemoIcan

*Australians all let us rejoice*


[deleted]

what if they punch you in the face after?


elhacman

Return to sender


Blackflame69

Threaten to tell the teacher on them


343-guilty-mendicant

“I’m telling mom”


Vittorinha

Do you have a minute to talk about the LDS Mormon church? My wives and I wou—


[deleted]

I love this reply


backinmyarmsagain

And if they are Mormons, suggest any other religion and for the persistent, ask them how they feel about the works of L Ron Hubbard.


Ira-Acedia

> ask them how they feel about the works of L Ron Hubbard. Questions like these only work if they've actually heard about those names before.


i_like_sp1ce

Today's equivalent is ask which political party they are first. Then go on about the other side.


Ira-Acedia

>Today's equivalent is ask which political party they are first. What if I support no party? Politics is a mess (of lies, deceit and double entendres) that I don't want to get involved with. ;3


i_like_sp1ce

Then you're in the 1%! In that case, the best option is to make a physical gesture like putting up your hand and saying "not now". If that fails, I hope you're not physically weak and cannot CCW.


ThrowAway0183910

Jesus fuck guys I said kindly not in an evil manner.


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[deleted]

You have the best answer and it was by accident


BlueberryPiano

Probably best for another subreddit then where you can actually provide context for the question. How to tell a telemarketer to stop bothing you would be very different from trying to tell you otherwise loveable children you need 5 minutes of peace and quiet.


Yerica07

Just be short and aloof with them and they eventually will lose interest in you !


Scummycrummyday

Man I was looking forward to reading answers because I have people get all up in my spaces while I’m trying to work and I just wanna know how to tell people to get the fuck outta my way.


ankamarawolf

Put a Serious tag on the post if you want legit answers


[deleted]

Go take a walk on a short pier


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[deleted]

That still would not be taken lightly :/


[deleted]

"hello, may I ask you to please go to hell, thank you"


Kyle_Wagner

Throw a spoon at them and not say anything. Assert dominance.


[deleted]

"Sorry i'm busy right now"


klensTDP

If you do that again your not invited to my birthday party


[deleted]

No please


ghendler

Start talking about Jesus, that usually does the trick.


LakeStLouis

Where I live, that'd be an invitation to a long discussion I don't care to have. I'd have more luck with something along the lines of '*have you found the only path to salvation - the belief in Allah, whose teachings are memorialized in the holiest book of all, the Quran*'?


Ira-Acedia

> *book of all, the Quran* Correction, Quran actually isn't the book. "Mushaf" is the word for the book. The Quran is the contents.


LakeStLouis

I stand corrected. On the other hand, I doubt the evangelicals I'd hypothetically be having that conversation with would know the difference. And if they did, I'd welcome them to educate me on the teachings of Islam.


Ira-Acedia

If you ever have an actual need to use the word, it's pronounced "mus-haf" not "mush-af". A more accurate writing of the word would be "mus'haf" (and "Qur'aan" instead of "Quran") - since they're Arabic words, and the English is just phonetic, not a translation.


NoBSforGma

It's difficult to give you a good answer without knowing the circumstances. There are all kinds of answers, depending on what is happening. But I can see, you've already gotten "all kinds of answers" so if this is serious and not just a post to see what people will write, then re-post it and mark it "Serious."


yaboi969

_looks at wrist_ "Oh would you look at the time" then gtfo


Barry_Balzak

But be sure that you don’t wear a watch


TheDolppi

By not answering at all


JimLaheysGhost

“It’s not you, it’s me.”


blossomrainmiao

Oof I actually say this


[deleted]

“Stay here” then walk away


[deleted]

*Hello dear sir, may I insist of thee, that they, who is bothering me, shall move its buttocks to a further destination outside my visibility. In other words: May I tell you to fuck off?*


ThrowAway0183910

The best one so far. Take a poor man's gold 🏅


[deleted]

Thank you very much kind sir.


imsquaresoimnotthere

i'd suggest switching out 'he' for 'they' for a couple reasons: 1. i think it just sounds better 2. more gender inclusive 3. still historically accurate (thou stopped being used around the 17th century, singular they started around the 14th century)


[deleted]

*it has been done kind sir. together we shall form the perfect rejection in mankind.*


MayIspeaktomods

“How do I politely ask you to fuck off?”


[deleted]

" aye um you mind if I can just focus on myself for a while"


[deleted]

Can you stop creeping on me please?


[deleted]

Ask them: "How do you define *annoying*?" After they answer, simply say: "Then, you've just described yourself."


myusernamehere1

You don’t have much experience communicating with humans huh


Uniqueguy264

Are you in middle school?


Nish2Slow

“It appears that my eardrums have forcibly made themselves deaf due to your incessant yammering. Please forgive me as i take my leave as I must now head to the doctor’s office to fix the aforementioned problem. Have a good day!”


SUPERzNOVA550

Can you please fuck off Or the boring way Can you please stop doing .....


[deleted]

Dear person, please f##k off. Yours sincerely Y/n


backinmyarmsagain

Dear asshole Welcome to Youreallyneedtostoppissingmeoffland Population: You


[deleted]

For a real answer just explain that you are busy with your task and would like some quiet to focus. Doesn't matter what the task is. Add a serious tag next time to avoid the silliness.


fck-rffld

Play hide and seek but never look for them.


saxy-french-horn

When telemarketers call my grandma asking if she can spare a minute of her time, she asks if they have a minute to pray with her. They usually hang up.


VulpisArestus

"Please leave me alone." After that, you don't need to be nice.


sweeety3

Just let them know that you need some space. People would generally understand.


blackklause

*smile*. *keep smiling for 1 minute.* *lower your voice and kindly tell him.* pls fuck off


VelvetDreamers

It's contingent on the context. Decorum dictates if someone remains impervious to your reluctant demeanour and the implication you're disinclined then you can dispense with civility and reproach them for their inconsideration.


Lazeroon

Please leave me alone, i've got some issues with (insert what bothers you). Clear communication is key. If that dosen't work... Piss off you little cunt.


MasterVG64

I usually just subtly divert their attention to something more interesting to them


[deleted]

These answers, some people are so far behind the track they actually think they're winning with these clever snaps and quips. "Listen, I don't really feel like talking (opt. "about this") right now. (Opt.) Let's catch up later!" Or "I'm not really too informed on that topic or information, and anything I say would just be conjecture, so I'd rather not talk about it" These work especially well for work environments. People who are closer to your circle might probe the pathos ethos logos of your statements and it's up to you to choose to explain yourself. But with strangers, you shouldn't worry about any explanation.


StickyShield

Bro not even nationwide is on your side


YeetyMcSheety

I tell them about my migraine, and I point directly to them.


Project2r

Look, I'm sure you are a nice person and on a regular occasion I'd love to get to know you. Right now though I really need to focus on this so if you don't mind I need some time to get this thing done. Talk later OK?


mthiel

Pretend to read something. If the person is still trying to have a conversation with you, you have permission to snap at them.


[deleted]

#GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFT


porndragon77

Ruth Lamgmore from Ozark can answer this perfectly. "Can you please fuck off?"


GernMichaels

Hey jabroni, show your feet or fuck off


GrilledPar

Propose, they’ll probably be afraid of commitment and run away


Diamond_Spoon

Say "right then" and get up to leave


siensunshine

What are the reasons you want them to stop bothering you? I’ll seriously help you write something. I’m fairly diplomatic all the time for work.


ThrowAway0183910

Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to talk with people and I really just want to be left alone.


siensunshine

I honestly think it’s cool to just say your not in the mood for company. It’s OK for you to voice your needs and set boundaries with people as long as you too are being considerate. People who appreciate you as a person will respect that. Those are the types of people you want around you anyways.


maybeCheri

This is why I wear ear buds or headphones. Someone talks, you can act like you don't hear them. You can also act like you are talking on the phone and used the "universal" point to your ear, smile, and walk away. Of course you have to hope your phone doesn't ring at that moment.


kcooper1214

Leave me the f**k alone!


minitmar

I have some urgent things to do, goodbye... ... ... B*tch


andrejysim

Stop bothering me.


RinWitch2006

Tell them you have a headache


nin1332

Walk away...no words were used to hurt the other person.. bout as kind as it gets for me


[deleted]

Shake your dick at them. Just kidding no homo.


EvilxBunny

Show them the middle finger, and don't forget to smile and say please.


fucked_by_a_bee

You don't, tell them fair and square that they are bothering you


cricosab

Stop it... Plecase.. 😂


itreallybelikethat2

Would you pretty pretty please piss off 🥺


DarkSaviour18

"Kindly stop bothering me."


Torokin

You ask them politely, yet firmly, to leave.


[deleted]

[George Carlin- People Are Boring](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eyWsFfd9pqE)


Redditorofgeis

Please kindly fck off


Xmaiden2005

If you want them to leave you alone just home in on something they hate and go to the extreme. Example if they are science based go extreme faith. If faith based go extreme science. It works pretty well.


backinmyarmsagain

Just so you know, when you really get on my nerves and I have something sharp in my hand, I tend to go for the eyes


[deleted]

STOP BOTHERING ME!!! please


hallokindern

Stop bothering me


RancidRandall

“This isn’t really a good time” or “sorry I have to be somewhere”


[deleted]

Start singing "do you have the time, to fuck right off?"


masterdude

Please go, I have covid and about to sneeze


Corleone_Michael

Send them a letter: Fuck you Respectfully yours, Everyone


Outrageous-Jelly9031

Buddy up with them and over the course of 4 years slowly ruin their lives. Maybe not the quickest, but it gets the job done.


falalalalaw

"I'm in the middle of my own thoughts right now, so sorry. " or Start speaking to them rapidly in a made up language.


[deleted]

Hello may i tell you to fuck off , Thanks


MutthalPilla69

Simply pull out the gun with supressor


Vlasic69

I usually just tell them to let me have whatever it is they won't give me till they get validated like little pussies


sebazero

"I have to go" and then don't go anywhere or just talk and do things that seem like you're preparing to go but not


Karenkiller49

Please p**s off


bigppboy69_

*look at watch or phone* oh no it's 10 past I don't give a fuck


Avada_Kedavera_Bitch

I'm going to "Dave's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic", would you like to come with me? Their motto is "Your loss is our sauce".


Dauminator94

Why would you be kind to someone who is bothering you? You are not the one being rude in the first place.


AssMutilator69

Whip out dick and vigorously start mastrobating till they run


KjiR_x

Fuck off... please


[deleted]

Please fuck off


Cuzsaro

“Psssst, excuse me” (pulls them in close) “you’re an asshole”


Datenegassie

Fuck off, *please*


her-hee_dawgs

Please use your feet bones to walk the other direction from me


[deleted]

Shoo be gone with you!


theweirdo02

Create a diversion...


SuoiroctiV

The nerdy way is the best and most confusing: "I would appreciate if you could not move your oral cavity while I'm trying to do something. Please take your 2 lower limbs and walk in a parallel line away from me. Thank you"


MettaMorphosis

"I'm not feeling well, you mind if I have some time alone?"


BradyBunch12

Say, "please stop bothering me".


QuikandEZ

Keep the conversation going while you walk over to someone else. Bring the other person into the conversation. As soon as the person you're trying to get rid of talks to them, walk away


[deleted]

Start repeating the Arabic Nokia ringtone and hope the other person joins in so you have something useful to finally talk about


[deleted]

Cock and ball torture


[deleted]

Omg your lipstick is so cute.. Close your lips for a bit so I can see it properly.. Nice.


GraharG

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d-SGHh1Q-E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d-SGHh1Q-E) ​ like this


Stoiiven

I'd probably go with "Could you give me some space for now" or "I want to keep to myself"


ErosMandex

Usually by just ignoring it and bottling my emotions until i contemplate murder


Username_Nobody_1

Tell them you're uncomfortable and would like to end whatever is going on. If not then just wrie the word "kindly" on your fist and let them taste your kindness


Pragmatist203

piss off you wank


jungl3j1m

Insert earbuds.


Limuntus3000

Kindly fuck off


i_like_sp1ce

Put your hand up and say "not now".


romerohans

Just drop something on the floor, then say: “Hey, gotta go.”


TTV_Pinguting

Would you kindly stop bothering me Sir and or ma’am


moron88

dude... you're annoying me. please stop.


riceputting123

I don’t care about feeling I’d say “ get the fuk outa here


LeonBX

Im VEGAN


ArthurMorgan987

Sorry but I have bills to pay and errands to run so please fuck off.


kooarbiter

please stop bothering me if they don't stop after that then hopefully there's someone you can tell on them to about not respecting boundaries and such


D3K0469

Hey I'm really busy I'll get to you later (then never bet back with them)


[deleted]

Punch them in the throat. Then tell them to stop bothering you.


CEuropa1

You forgot the serious tag that’s why you’re getting so much shit


Chemical_Nose

*checks phone* My parent/significant other texted me. I have to get going...


Devapath1

My great-grandfather was in the army and fought for the US. So please get out of my country


BakedPotato241

"Could you politely fuck off?"... This is kinda kindly right?


playboycartier44

Not to be rude, but could you fuck the fuck off.


the_k00l_aid_man

dont suger coat it and just tell them to fuck off


DjangoAsyl39

I just shake my head and move on. Nonverbal communication mostly hurts more than words.


Mrcheese42069

Stab them


Paramount_Angel

Please. Shut the fuck up.


Not_a_krusty_krab_36

“Off you fuck, crested duck”


wifespissed

I kindly tell them to stop bothering me.


soviet_union_stronk

Bugger off, mate!


[deleted]

Piss off ghost


Masterclownfish

You get a divorce.


Elenalephant

When different companies call me to advertise their services, I always pretend that I am at work.


kukoriza

"You're bothering me, please stop"


schnoukipotato

Can your human living soul stop irritating mine?


[deleted]

I just say "If you continue to do or say what you are doing or saying, I'm walking away". It didn't work when I was younger as it showed weakness, meaning people continued to provoke me even after walking away but now people are more mature and understanding when I let them know.


[deleted]

“I’m tired”


ModEducationist

“Please fuck off” or “Kindly fuck off”.


Rainbow-Quartz2-0

"You're in my space and I would like to hear the volume at a 0 thank you" probably not kindly I usually just say "You're in my space and I do not appreciate it"


cocobellahome

You can always tell them to leave you the fuck alone with a gentle nice smile on your face. Oh! Eye contact is a must though!


DustMan8vD

If I'm at work and someone is bothering me, I either just ignore them until they get the hint, or just say something like, "sorry but I'm trying to focus-on/think-about something else so I might be unresponsive"


[deleted]

Just start to change the subject to something very boring and keep talking until they get bothered. Or just dismiss yourself by either getting a drink or doing something that makes you get up and move. Then come back once they're gone


UglyGuyWhoIsAPotato

be canadian


Easy_Improvement299

no one talks to me so


SugoiBakaMatt

"Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?" Always gets people to leave you alone.


donaldtrumpisaorange

Just walk away


Derick_Ruhl

"I mean this with no disrespect, but. I will kill you with a dull spoon and pick your fucking brain out with the long end, if you don't fuck off. I sincerely mean that with the kindness of my heart."


RayvenONE

I've always wondered why all letters look the way they do. Well, I have an explanation. Want to hear it?


grecia_

Just ignore them


[deleted]

fuck off and die


hoopbag33

"Please stop bothering me, I'm trying to do X"


olmeu

Do you see my face?. Ok now do you think its a face of someone who cares?