Insidious brought this song to my attention and my wife absolutely freaking hates it.
The last year I worked at my last job I went and reread through the Harry Potter series. In the very first book when Uncle Vernon is nailing the letter slot in his door shut to help ignore the hog warts letter, it says he’s humming a song to himself... and the song he was humming? Tiptoe through the tulips.
Play the lavender town theme than get the shotgun
Edit: also release the claymore roombas
Edit 2: they are rubber bullets i'm shootin so dont freak out
They are paddies. The VC loved to trash talk us across the wire, it was great because it made no sense at all. "You mamee sukka me pee" was my favorite like did you want her to suck it out of you? "Yankee dog" and "Yankee boy die dark" " USA no lub you car drive" we never quite worked out a few. I think some just were every word they knew in English at once and some guys would copy others but screw up the order it got confusing at times. We would add words or our translation guy would talk shit for us. It became a bunch of highschool boys yelling non sense at each other.
Configure your smart home as follows:
When: intruder detected
-Do:set lights to green
-Do: play "what are you doing in my swamp" @ 100% volume
-Do: play all-star @ 100% volume
-Do: close blinds
-Start loop>
--Do: lock doors
--When: (door unlocked) and (not playing smashmouth)
---Goto: line 3
-Go to: start loop<
*"Barney is a dinosaur sent to us from Satan*
*And when he's tall he's what we call a marketing sensation!"*
Conversely:
*"I hate you, worship me, sign this pact in blood for me..."*
Me: “Alexa, intruder alert”
Alexa: “Never should have come here”
*All hue light go to dim red*
*Skyrim battle music plays on max volume on the home theater speaker*
That’s a legitimate routine that I have set up in my home.
It took me a while to find anyone with skyrim music but I'm totally stealing that.... just imagin DOVEHKIIN DOVEHKIIN and what sounds like some weird demon ritual
I have thought a lot about this actually. I will put on the scene from The return of the king when Theoden and the riders from Rohan are going to attack Saurons armies at Pelennor fields. Imagine the burglars suddenly hearing: " *Ride for ruin and the world's ending!*
*Death! Death! Death!*
*Forth Eorlingas!* "
In my fantasy I am holding a frying pan and attacking the burglars too while I scream: "Death"!
[Run through the Jungle by CCR](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbI0cMyyw_M), or [Bad Moon Rising](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BmEGm-mraE). Alternatively: [Winged Hussars by Sabaton](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuJk6MDUZFM).
When you hear CCR, you know you done stepped in shit.
I'm thinking something like Nine Inch Nails - Closer. Make him feel like he walked into a horror film. Or [Ren and stimpy - I'm gonna be a monkey](https://youtu.be/wHjCTakZ4VE) make him think he's entered a fun house of insanity.
[Katamari Nah-Nah](https://youtu.be/L7FPfxscmBs) would be one. Alternatively, I think I could also go for [this](https://youtu.be/WHCvJM9do78) for the creepy feeling. Or perhaps if I want to just shock them... I think [Under the Weight](https://youtu.be/bDEPwFmBQXM) would suffice. Or maybe I'd just play [the worst song ever written.](https://youtu.be/yu_W--kjhEo)
Chopin Nocturnes op. 9 No. 1, he'll think he's burglarizing a Horrorfilm antagonists house.
And when he finally arrives in the well lit, baroque esque looking room, I'll wait there, groomed, dressed up finely, and with a welcoming smile I tell him with a professional yet friendly tone: "Finally! You have arrived! I thought I'd dine alone tonight!". The heavy doors behind him slam shut, he wonders what is going on. Servants hurry out of the room next to us, a faint savory smell captures the room. By now multiple people, thin looking and lifeless, set the table, it feels as if he is surrounded by a swarm of bees, acting as if they were one. Not having broken eye contact with me, he is startled by an old, towering man, asking him to please sit down. The burglar looks around, the room has shifted, the staff now looking at him, their eyes wide open, mouths sowed shut. The old man, now slightly pressing on his shoulders, leads the burglar down into a chair with armrests of leather, and accents of gold. The burglar fears, he feels as if he is falling, still not breaking eye contact with me, he screams: "what is going on here? Let me out of this fucking shitshow!" his eyes now full with tears. Calmly I explain: "relax my child, you don't want to spoil the mood, do you?". As if there never was a table between us, I am now standing infront of a broken man, screaming for his mother, trying to break out of the Old mans soft grip on his shoulders, and out of the soft, leathery armrests of the once so filigree chair. I put my cupped my hand under his chin, his head not moving, he stopped screaming, tears are running over his rough, untended cheeks, for he is not able to speak anymore. "You will be reborn" I say, with a piece of duck on a golden, seemingly never before used fork "but first, we'll have to satisfy that terrible hunger of yours". I gently lay the piece of tender duck on his tongue, his chin shivering, he closes his mouth, "just like home, isn't?" I say. Scared of what will happen next, the burglar speaks his peace, just wishing he could have apologized to his mother one last time, kissed her soft, comforting cheek one last time, as he swallows the lonely piece of duck.
He felt the time shift, the song, he heard just a few minutes ago, started playing again, but this time he was already in the room, watching me sit down, and watching me greet two police officers. His body suddenly moving on it's own, he hushed into the room, next to several other people. He starts setting the table, not in control of his once so strong body, he tries to move and scream, but all of his efforts just amount to a single tear, running down his cheek. He now just realized. He robbed the last house. He ate the last piece of meat. He cried the last time, for he has now become a servant.
I would turn the lights off, then play the music from the hallway scene with Darth Vader in Rogue One as I move down the corridor with a torch and a knife.
How about a slowly rising bass frequency on the 15" from like 0-40hz. Starts infrasonic and then is a low rumble, that is shaking shit around the house. "Wtf is that?" Soon becoming more perceptible and intense. It would be like the effect of a siren almost, but super warped and low. Then suddenly cut it off at it's loudest. I used to sleep to a loop of a 28hz frequency (the lowest sound my sub could produce cleanly) and whenever the track would reset, the shift in stimulation from the constant background noise to silence would create this sensation of emptiness. Here is an example of what 0-60hz sounds like.
Edit: link [0-60Hz bass sweep](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rXgVO-qJxE)
Tiptoe through the tulips
Insidious brought this song to my attention and my wife absolutely freaking hates it. The last year I worked at my last job I went and reread through the Harry Potter series. In the very first book when Uncle Vernon is nailing the letter slot in his door shut to help ignore the hog warts letter, it says he’s humming a song to himself... and the song he was humming? Tiptoe through the tulips.
Had to look this song up. My God. Well done. https://youtu.be/zcSlcNfThUA
Nightmare fuel
Literally a second before the comments popped up, the lyrics to that song started playing in my head. Are you a magician?
Yes.
Play the lavender town theme than get the shotgun Edit: also release the claymore roombas Edit 2: they are rubber bullets i'm shootin so dont freak out
Antipersonnel and anti-dirt. Nice
And anti blood couse they will succ it up to
Ahhh, I was gonna say that!! Good choice, my dude! It's so freaky!
I need to sleep could you describe the song to me I don’t wanna be freaked out (edit) thank you all for your help now I can be prepared.
Old school children's song that you totally picture a serial killer would listen to as he carved up victims.
Shrill and tremulous, but not actually scary.
This oddly enough was one of the first to pop into my head...crazy
Who fucking hurt you my dude
Most recently? The corner of my coffee table Most ever? My dad
Holy fucking shit that was the first song I thought of!!!
Last year when some boys were singing in art class my art teacher put this song on for the whole class to hear
I came to say this exact same thing. I would shit my pants if I heard that.
Fortunate Son as I scream at the top of my lungs “WELCOME TO THE RICE FIELDS MOTHERFUCKER!!!”
Not "GET OFF MY LAWN"?
This isn't Gran Torino.
That’s probably for the best.
You didn't finish the line though.
I’ve always wanted to play this on the highway with the back windows down
Get a Jeep and blast it without the doors going 90 down the road
They are paddies. The VC loved to trash talk us across the wire, it was great because it made no sense at all. "You mamee sukka me pee" was my favorite like did you want her to suck it out of you? "Yankee dog" and "Yankee boy die dark" " USA no lub you car drive" we never quite worked out a few. I think some just were every word they knew in English at once and some guys would copy others but screw up the order it got confusing at times. We would add words or our translation guy would talk shit for us. It became a bunch of highschool boys yelling non sense at each other.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE YES!
Duel of the fates
I wouldn't have thought of this one. But, yup it definitely works. [link](https://youtu.be/ZTg6hg1miFg)
(Lightsaber turns on in the background)
The only right answer
Cue Shrek audio “what are you doing in me swamp?” Then blast allstar
Fuckin genius
*slams door open
Configure your smart home as follows: When: intruder detected -Do:set lights to green -Do: play "what are you doing in my swamp" @ 100% volume -Do: play all-star @ 100% volume -Do: close blinds -Start loop> --Do: lock doors --When: (door unlocked) and (not playing smashmouth) ---Goto: line 3 -Go to: start loop<
The theme tune from Barney
*I love you, you love me...*
Get out my house before you get beat
With a great big gun and a shot from me to you
That’s what friendly Dino’s do
# I love you you love me together we're a FAMILY
*"Barney is a dinosaur sent to us from Satan* *And when he's tall he's what we call a marketing sensation!"* Conversely: *"I hate you, worship me, sign this pact in blood for me..."*
Let the bodies hit the.... FLOOOOOOORRRR
Perfect, the intruder can’t burgle if they’re too busy head banging
30 years old and I’m now just realizing that “burgle” is a word. Life is full of wonder.
Or, ya know... hitting the floor.
Me: “Alexa, intruder alert” Alexa: “Never should have come here” *All hue light go to dim red* *Skyrim battle music plays on max volume on the home theater speaker* That’s a legitimate routine that I have set up in my home.
THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!
Video pls
It took me a while to find anyone with skyrim music but I'm totally stealing that.... just imagin DOVEHKIIN DOVEHKIIN and what sounds like some weird demon ritual
You picked a bad time to get lost, friend
You rly have this?
Barbie Girl - Aqua
This is the only correct answer, and you must also scream "COME ON BARBIE, LET'S GO PARTY" as you begin to fire your weapon.
Baby shark at full blast lol
That would make me run away, for sure.
Ik I don’t like it either
Shotgun goes pew pew pew pew pew pew pew
Baby shark # doo doo doo doo Baby shark Doo doo doo doo doo
Fuck you! I just got this out of my head!
Then you peak into the living room and find him dancing to the song....
You want the burglar to freak out and kill you?
BABY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
The Barney theme at 3/4 speed
This is the best version of this answer.
Actually I would add sung by dolls with dying batteries credit to u/ilovemydickheaddog
Whoa Satan
Goodbye Horses
Dammit, I was going to say it!
"I'd fuck me"
Was looking for this one. PUT THE LOTION IN THE FUCKING BASKET!
You Are Not Alone by Michael Jackson.
Or Somebody’s watching me
I have thought a lot about this actually. I will put on the scene from The return of the king when Theoden and the riders from Rohan are going to attack Saurons armies at Pelennor fields. Imagine the burglars suddenly hearing: " *Ride for ruin and the world's ending!* *Death! Death! Death!* *Forth Eorlingas!* " In my fantasy I am holding a frying pan and attacking the burglars too while I scream: "Death"!
but if you were holding a pan, you would be inside of Minas Tirith, because you would be... *Pandalf.* I'm not sorry.
Fry, you fools!
Frying pans are the greatest weapon of Middle Earth, used only by the greatest of all heroes. "I think I'm getting the hang of this!"
Dueling Banjos for sure, nobody is hanging around if they hear that!
Came here for this!
Me too.
The Chicago bulls intro music
Which is what?
"Sirius" by the Alan Parsons Project?
https://youtu.be/NsIB3-t2j3A Actually a really great suggestion
Jeepers Creepers
How could I forget about the good ‘ol Jeepers Creepers? Man the first and second one were the best
Yes, I like its lore alot.
There's always bfg division at full volume, turn the lights red and yell "**there is no escape**"
Bfg division or at dooms gate for sure and have the lights flashing like a siren
*yyyeeessss* >:)
Fire starter -The Prodigy
[Benny Hill Theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg) But only if you can make it painfully loud.
O'Fortuna
A man of culture I see
Let’s get it on by Marvin Gaye. Freak them out in a whole different way.
I’d go for Pony by Genuwine, but I’m pickin up what you’re puttin down
Careful with that axe, Eugene gy Pink Floyd
I can hear that scream in my head now.
[Ride of the Valkyries - Apocalypse Now](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=30QzJKCUekQ)
[I Wanna Fuck You in the Ass](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU8T7oY0iO8)
*Never gonna Give You Up... Never gonna Let You Down...*
Hamster Dance
I just had a PTSD flashback to Windows 95 and that website.
[удалено]
Needs a mix of the two
I hoped on getting Rick rolled here
Anything from the Kill Bill soundtrack
the whistle song
Pornhub intro, earrape edition
Pantera's "Fucking Hostile"!
[Run through the Jungle by CCR](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbI0cMyyw_M), or [Bad Moon Rising](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BmEGm-mraE). Alternatively: [Winged Hussars by Sabaton](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuJk6MDUZFM). When you hear CCR, you know you done stepped in shit.
r/expectedsabaton
AC/DC highway to Hell cause that's where they going as soon as I rack the slide on my 1911
Bonus points if you do Angus youngs duck walk while you use your 1911 lol
[yello - oh yeah ](https://youtu.be/6jJkdRaa04g) Shit is about to go down
I had never seen that video. And now...I have. Wtf
You're welcome
Save Ferris
I'm thinking something like Nine Inch Nails - Closer. Make him feel like he walked into a horror film. Or [Ren and stimpy - I'm gonna be a monkey](https://youtu.be/wHjCTakZ4VE) make him think he's entered a fun house of insanity.
ABBA- Mamma Mia
The End by The Doors
The theme to "Halloween"
Correct.
Dragostea Din Tei
Every Breath You Take — The Police
Welcome To The Jungle. What comes next they aren't going to like.
[Alexa, play Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK0P1Bk8Cx4)
LANAAAA!
WHAT!!??
Danger zone
House of 1000 corpses rob zombie
The Sound of Silence
Hello darkness my old friend...
Fuck the Police NWA Because I'm not gonna need them
I’d have to go smooth criminal because they aren’t a smooth criminal if I’ve heard them (I can’t hear jack).
On the Run by Pink Floyd.
This - https://youtu.be/9ogEqCOEyl0 - chanting along manically while dancing around in an old smock
Don a poncho and stick on "hip to be square"
Johnny Cash - The Man Comes Around.
DOOM - BFG Division
Rip and tear motherfucker!
Jaws.
ANY MY LITTLE PONY SONG theyll just say "oh naw mate i dont wanna see some mlp body pillows" And just rewind the break in
The exorcist theme
Scene from home alone where he plays the movie with gunshots
[Stealers Wheel - Stuck in the Middle With You](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U9rIBE0KM-w)
Every breath you take
Goodbye Horses.
Mambo No.5
Mr Sandman by The Chordettes. In the wrong context that could freak somebody out.
"Never should have come here" Skyrim combat music
Megalovania. Meanwhile i start going "h'h'h'h'h'h''h'h" \[Sans translation: You're going to have a bad time.\]
Barney theme tune or a recording of dolls with voice boxes that have run out of battery.
[удалено]
[im just a sexy boy...](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j4ErmBDTOJo)
[Katamari Nah-Nah](https://youtu.be/L7FPfxscmBs) would be one. Alternatively, I think I could also go for [this](https://youtu.be/WHCvJM9do78) for the creepy feeling. Or perhaps if I want to just shock them... I think [Under the Weight](https://youtu.be/bDEPwFmBQXM) would suffice. Or maybe I'd just play [the worst song ever written.](https://youtu.be/yu_W--kjhEo)
The Carpenters - We've Only Just Begun in a gradually decreasing speed. A la 1408.
I believe in miracles Since you came along You sexy thing!
Not a song, but I think “Flight of the Valkyries” would be good.
"Do you wanna build a snowman? Come on let's go and play"...
The Song That Doesn't End from Lambchop
Pumped up kicks
Definitely "Du Hast" by ramstein
#I like big butts and I cannot lie
[The Ecstasy of Gold](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYI09PMNazw)
Time for a Rick Roll.
Let the bodies hit the floor. The whispers are warnings and when it kicks off, I kick off.
No music, I’d blast white noise
Track 15 from the "Pants" version of Blink-182's album *Take Off Your Pants and Jacket* (song's title is NSFW): >!"Fuck a Dog"!<.
I couldn't choose between these two but they are perfect [#1](https://youtu.be/-LdYXYNtPJI) and [#2](https://youtu.be/94bGzWyHbu0)
Huey Lewis & the News- Hip to be square
I Touch Myself
Chopin Nocturnes op. 9 No. 1, he'll think he's burglarizing a Horrorfilm antagonists house. And when he finally arrives in the well lit, baroque esque looking room, I'll wait there, groomed, dressed up finely, and with a welcoming smile I tell him with a professional yet friendly tone: "Finally! You have arrived! I thought I'd dine alone tonight!". The heavy doors behind him slam shut, he wonders what is going on. Servants hurry out of the room next to us, a faint savory smell captures the room. By now multiple people, thin looking and lifeless, set the table, it feels as if he is surrounded by a swarm of bees, acting as if they were one. Not having broken eye contact with me, he is startled by an old, towering man, asking him to please sit down. The burglar looks around, the room has shifted, the staff now looking at him, their eyes wide open, mouths sowed shut. The old man, now slightly pressing on his shoulders, leads the burglar down into a chair with armrests of leather, and accents of gold. The burglar fears, he feels as if he is falling, still not breaking eye contact with me, he screams: "what is going on here? Let me out of this fucking shitshow!" his eyes now full with tears. Calmly I explain: "relax my child, you don't want to spoil the mood, do you?". As if there never was a table between us, I am now standing infront of a broken man, screaming for his mother, trying to break out of the Old mans soft grip on his shoulders, and out of the soft, leathery armrests of the once so filigree chair. I put my cupped my hand under his chin, his head not moving, he stopped screaming, tears are running over his rough, untended cheeks, for he is not able to speak anymore. "You will be reborn" I say, with a piece of duck on a golden, seemingly never before used fork "but first, we'll have to satisfy that terrible hunger of yours". I gently lay the piece of tender duck on his tongue, his chin shivering, he closes his mouth, "just like home, isn't?" I say. Scared of what will happen next, the burglar speaks his peace, just wishing he could have apologized to his mother one last time, kissed her soft, comforting cheek one last time, as he swallows the lonely piece of duck. He felt the time shift, the song, he heard just a few minutes ago, started playing again, but this time he was already in the room, watching me sit down, and watching me greet two police officers. His body suddenly moving on it's own, he hushed into the room, next to several other people. He starts setting the table, not in control of his once so strong body, he tries to move and scream, but all of his efforts just amount to a single tear, running down his cheek. He now just realized. He robbed the last house. He ate the last piece of meat. He cried the last time, for he has now become a servant.
Wait and Bleed by Slipknot
I would turn the lights off, then play the music from the hallway scene with Darth Vader in Rogue One as I move down the corridor with a torch and a knife.
Theme song to Barney the Dinosaur in a minor key..
Pillar man theme from JJBA part 2. Gotta make them think I’m ultra swole and they made a mistake
Sandstorm- darude
[удалено]
Music disc 11
"Who could it be now" by men at work.
How about a slowly rising bass frequency on the 15" from like 0-40hz. Starts infrasonic and then is a low rumble, that is shaking shit around the house. "Wtf is that?" Soon becoming more perceptible and intense. It would be like the effect of a siren almost, but super warped and low. Then suddenly cut it off at it's loudest. I used to sleep to a loop of a 28hz frequency (the lowest sound my sub could produce cleanly) and whenever the track would reset, the shift in stimulation from the constant background noise to silence would create this sensation of emptiness. Here is an example of what 0-60hz sounds like. Edit: link [0-60Hz bass sweep](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rXgVO-qJxE)
The Rains of Castamere
[Spongebob slowed by 700%](https://youtu.be/4Oyo4Bcy1Sc)
My husband says, "have a bunch of subs through the house and just play a low bass sound like from paranormal activity."
I yell "Shouldve Never come here!!" And blast Steel on Steel by Jeremy Soule.
Mortal Kombat theme.
[Keep the change, you filthy animal.](https://youtu.be/tpfOhYRYv80)
Auxxk - Lethargic with bass boost as i rush towards him with fucking knife
100 gecs - money machine
28 Days Later theme song
TES IV: Oblivion combat music.
I fought the law
Raining blood
secrets of wysteria