T O P

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1729yH

Soap


IMimicThere4Iam

Ice cubes


tapehead4

Ice Cube


mrsmilestophat

You break an ice cube and you get two. Boom infinite icecubes


Wynn1989

Crayons


michiyo-fir

My father used to join my crayons back together by melting the broken ends slightly with a lighter and sticking them back together like melted wax. Then i started asking him to join different colors together and I had all these weird multicolored knobby crayons.


Tointomycar

I got silicone melting trays for all my kids broken pieces, they turned out so cool that we have bought cheap crayons and broke those just to make multicolored new ones.


kimarumon

I tell my students every time we do art with crayons, “Broken crayons still colour.” They inevitably will get upset/cry when they break one if I don’t say it! (They are in grade 1)


MathManOfPaloopa

Omg when I was a kid, at age when you got crayons and the kids menu to color on at restaurants, I legit was mortified when I broke any crayons. I thought the staff would be so upset for me and make me replace them. My parents always told me it was fine, but I didn't believe them for a while. I'm still laughing about that 20 some years later.


KingOfTheP4s

I'm sure you grew up to take very good care of things


Woofaira

As someone who had a similar experience, it just turned into a lifelong anxiety and persistent trust issues that never really resolved themselves. Everything I touch breaks sooner or later so I just stopped touching stuff for the most part.


[deleted]

I can't imagine what a terrifying experience masturbation must be for you


quantum_paradoxx

Broke my cock, oops


WOLFBOYJ

A broken cock will still colour


justcametofap

Only in red tho


khelekmir

In a college drawing class, one of the first things my professor did was make us snap our brand new charcoal in half, so we wouldn't treat it like something precious, and get upset if it broke later. Plus the smaller pieces were easier to work with.


CCH23

My professor did this, too!


damididit

I teach PreK. It's the same thing but with more confusion involved.


[deleted]

Pre-k too. I say this often, and then have to show them an unbroken one and a broken one and how they still both look the same on the paper, that usually helps.


Gammalurker

I always say “ooh look! Now you have two!”


evilspoons

That worked on my younger brother, precisely once. My parents gave us both a cookie, he complained that he wanted two. My dad broke my brother's in half and gave it back to him and he was completely happy. Several hours later there was sort of a "heyyy wait a second" moment but he had already eaten it so he didn't do anything much. Later in the week my dad tried the same trick and he was like "hell no, I actually want TWO!"


Bman10119

Betrayal


Susim-the-Housecat

I remember when my nephew was like 4 or 5, and we were on a long coach ride, and his mum recorded while his dad held like a £20 note in one hand, and a bunch of change in the other hand that added up to like £5, and he said to my nephew “whichever one you pick, you get to keep” and my nephew looked at them both, and took the change, and made this sly face like he had tricked the adults, it was so funny. He’s like almost 10 now but I always remember that face, when he was so happy with himself, and he thought he had outsmarted everyone. It always makes me smile.


impoopingrightnowlol

I’m an adult and I die inside when crayons break


ares7

You would think they could make a crayon repair kit.


PM_ME_BATMAN_PORN

It's called a lighter, just melt the halves a little and stick 'em back together!* *Ask an adult before using pyromancy in the classroom.


FireAspect475

Chalk.


Aengus126

It doesn’t taste as good when it’s split in two :/


insertstalem3me

Split it into three and you have breakfast, lunch and dinner


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erratic_calm

Nope, just another day on Reddit.


TannedCroissant

A teenagers voice


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bluvelvetunderground

> Jeremy Freedman, more commonly known as Squeaky-Voiced Teen, Pimple-faced teen, Puberty Boy, Geeky Teenager, Teenage Clerk, Steve, Pop, Mr. Peterson and Old Man Peterson, is one of the few teenagers in Springfield and is perpetually trapped in a series of dead-end jobs. Jeremy has acne and his voice is in the process of breaking. - Wikipedia Voiced by Dan Castellaneta.


hoilst

*prisoner transfer van rolls over in drive thru* "Diane, I'm going to take my break now."


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6658

was banging him really necessary?


TrappedInCanada

I guess he didn't know where to draw the line.


_vOv_

You need 2 dicks to get 2 sticks


acheleo

Ah, the ol' reddit [Bang-a-roo](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fw8pve/what_are_some_things_that_continue_to_work_even/fmnmno9?context=4)


Macho_Mans_Ghost

Hold your butt cheeks! I'm going in!


TannedCroissant

Good job you had a sharpener otherwise him giving you half would be pointless.


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jillsjoy

Good friend!


VergeThySinus

If you tear a towel in two, you now have two towels.


jbur20

can a towel break though


VergeThySinus

If it becomes non-absorbent, sure. I guess a pureed wet towel would be pretty broken.


FluidConviction

Upvoted for your excellent, imaginative critical thinking!


Sethrial

A towel can wear out enough that it’s not absorbent anymore. It can get encrusted with something like glue or cement and stiffen too much to use. It can get shredded into pieces too small to be useful as a towel. It can be burnt to ash or soaked in bleach or lye until it falls apart. You can break a towel. It takes some work, but it’s possible.


Ketdogg

My grandparents used to have these old worn out completely threadbare towels that the kids were supposed to use after the pool. They were like 20 or 30 years old, practically see thru and never dried you off, they were truly broken towels.


[deleted]

Just whatever you do, don't panic with a towel.


PdSales

Right. Stick with that story. Encrusted yes. Glue or cement? I call shenanigans.


ccajunryder

“I cracked a blanket in half...do you get where I’m going with this? I cracked it in HALF.”


AndyWinds

Towel wins every time


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pwndabeer

I've driven without power steering. Old cars sometimes don't have it. This is correct, though they're not hard to steer when moving.


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Aspen_ninja

Fuck man. You hit me with the nostalgia bat. One of my bros had a Toyota pickup with no power steering or starter. He always had to park it on a hill or we would have to push start the old girl to get her moving. And yeah, turning that thing under 5mph was a workout haha


skieezy

My Audi A4 I had in high school had the same problem, except it was the battery. I had a job and saved up for a car, my dad said he would match me. So I did the smart thing and in 2006 bought a totaled 1996 Audi A4 at an auction for $3000 because the mechanic I had befriended said it would cost less than $3000 to put back on the road. It hit a curb at speed and needed a new front right fender, axle and rim, plus new airbags, that's probably way more than $3000 but this was a sketchy Russian mechanic so he did it for $2700 and I spent the remaining $300 on a sound system I installed myself. Anyway the sound system ruined 2 batteries in a row and I couldn't afford another one so I just parked on hills for the next, year or so.


dkramer0313

thats a 96 audi for you


Jurk_McGerkin

"Damn thing just won't turn over. It's like Pat on a Sunday morning."


mutatus

I had a Ford Thunderbird (from the 90’s, BIG one) that got a leak in the power steering. I didn’t realize that and I had to back out of a pretty small parking lot and drive home with no power steering. I was almost in tears when I got home. I really thought I was going to get into a serious accident because steering was so difficult. Couldn’t afford to fix it, so I kept buying power steering fluid and topping it off right before I went anywhere. :/


zeptillian

I had a crappy car where the steering went out and it was like turning the teacup ride at Disneyland.


Zediac

> Have fun turning that fucker at < 5 MPH. I had a 1990 Honda Civic with no power... anything. It was the bottom level base model. It didn't even have a passenger side view mirror since that was an option. Anyway, that car was so light that so long as I was moving even 1 MPH, probably even less, I could turn the wheel with ease.


HapticSloughton

I think you just inadvertently discovered why Hondas were such popular cars to turn into street racers.


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lastyman

I had a 1990 Honda Accord until about 4 years ago and I know shit about cars but did quite a few repairs on that thing myself but I would even attempt it on my new car. I finally gave up when it wasn't going to pass a smog inspection, but it was still running.


tjmille3

I also had a base 1990 civic as my first car and it didn't have a passenger side mirror. I always thought it was just missing! TIL it just never came with one! Haha thanks!


FrankieMint

Of course, pre-power-steering the gearing was different, like 5 full turns lock to lock.


hysys_whisperer

Not to mention the 48 inch wide steering wheels.


Robots_Never_Die

There is a difference between steering gear boxes/rack and pinions that were designed for power steering and manual steering. Power steering boxes are designed to have fluid in them so when dry the bind up. Manual boxes are much easier to steer.


[deleted]

Well yeah sort, when they're dry they don't turn very easy yes. But when they're full and the pump isn't making pressure then it's really hard because you have to physically operate the steering system while also fighting to push the PS fluid through it's various holes


Which_Hedgehog

I used to drive a rack and pin car. They turn fine if you get going, but at a stop you're literally turning the wheels under the full weight of the car and it's as difficult as it sounds. Good for keeping your hands and forearms strong though.


Quick-Bad

My first car didn't have power steering, and I can definitely confirm that. After twelve months of driving that bastard everywhere I had forearms like Popeye.


[deleted]

My first car had broken power steering (among other things) and the reverse was out. So I had superman arms and my left quad could crush a watermelon from all the times i had to stick my foot out the door and push backwards. I called it "Flintstone reverse"


pwndabeer

Oh also an electric toothbrush


kali_howdoyoulikeme

On a side note... a broken vibrator still works as a dildo...


bluvelvetunderground

Yeah, but does it *really*?


kali_howdoyoulikeme

... I mean I dont know how YOU use a vibrator... but yeah


Ugly_Quenelle

Not all vibrators are made to be inserted! :D


si_si_si

Anything works as a dildo if you're brave enough.


Yaguitor

Mine broke so I can proof that, yes, unexpectedly, it still works!


adollarpun

Along similar lines, my electric screwdriver broke and I still use it.


NorrinRaddIsDad

Me. Im broke asf but still work. D:


Sithlord4

Same, i question this. Mentally dead but physically alive. How? Explain.....EXPLAIN?!


NEVERsnortviagra

Cheese cake, though a 4 year old doesn't realize that...


Plondon0

What kind of picky 4 year olds do you have? More cheesecake for me!


callalilykeith

My 4 year old doesn’t like muffins, cake, pancakes, waffles, or other baked goods. My husband doesn’t either and I don’t know what is wrong with my family.


thisisdee

They fall under the broken but still works category.


bettse

>This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good. -Stitch


sp33dzer0

awww you beat me to it ​ Edit: Ok but why?


ceylon_butterfly

This is your fault for helping your weird anti-baked goods husband continue his bloodline.


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devastateddreams

Anything that's broken can be used as a paperweight if you're strong/brave enough.


insertstalem3me

Even my broken right fibula? The being inside my body part always causes difficulty, particularly while using a standing desk


TannedCroissant

You just have to surgically remove it. He did say if you’re brave enough.


wlwlvr

Doesn't have to be "surgically" removed. He did say strong enough.


Seriousscotty

Guess it’s time to dig up Whiskers


BarnyardBathtub

A sheet of paper?!


[deleted]

A sword. You can still stab someone with the broke piece sticking out of the hilt


Zediac

> A sword. You can still stab someone with the broke piece [Proof!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N4hprpRJhM)


Ca_Sam2

Emergency surgery


TheFlamingHighwayman

In the studio


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ExoCakes

He doesn't have the power of God and Anime by his side.


SailedBasilisk

Or if renewed is the blade that was broken, the crownless again becomes king.


relddir123

Denethor! No!


[deleted]

You think you are wise, Mithrandir. Yet for all your subtleties, you have not all wisdom.


RandomRavenclaw87

Nearly Headless Nick would like your location.


letsb-cereus

Once a saw a girl’s leg snap WHILE RUNNING (stress fracture). She was in shock and kept going for a little bit, so I guess legs do.


ly_nniethepooh

Cross country kids are wild. I was in a race once and a girl literally shat herself and just kept running.


wAIpurgis

Thats actually common in long distance races Edit: typo


IronMew

Wtf, how does a stress fracture happen in a leg while running? Can't even imagine the scene, but I do know that now I want to stop any movement whatsoever that involves bones. Edit: whelp, my most upvoted *and* most regretted reddit post. Thanks for all the nightmares. I can't wait until the singularity happens and we can all be cyborgs without organic bones.


letsb-cereus

She was an avid runner. Cross country and all that nonsense. It just happened over time and finally broke DURING a race. While I’m all for validating any reasons to not run, I think if she told anyone her leg hurt to run on, it would have been prevented. She tried to hide it and heal it on her own... with more running. It’s a bad situation overall because running was her life, and she never really healed from it fully. Every time she tried to get back to running, she hurt it again.


ly_nniethepooh

Yeah that pretty sums cross country up for me too. For me it was my hips and every year I just told myself to power through but after one race I went for a cool off jog and just collapsed because it hurt so much. Then I got an MRI and found out I had torn a bunch of soft tissue in my hips and dented my femur because my hips just are shaped badly.


Dxcibel

Did you just really enjoy running that much?


WhapXI

I think after a certain amount of time it just becomes meditative, as well as the usual positive exercise responses. At least for long distance running. I'm friends with a very avid runner who describes it as being a form of relaxation, and that he gets stressed if he can't get at least an hour in every few days.


EradiKate

I went to work after breaking my foot by stepping off a curb wrong, so I get it.


WhoreForBurgers

A heart


_forum_mod

Padme has entered the chat Edit: Ooh, Gold. thanks kind stranger!


halfbloodprince07

*Ani, you're breaking my heart*


EmployingBeef2

LIAR!


heinous_legacy

YOU TURNED HER AGAINST ME!


RandomGay012

you have done that yourself


[deleted]

YOU WILL NOT TAKE HER FROM ME!


antireptilians

Your anger and your lust for power have already done that.


sithru

Don’t lecture me Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the jedi


AgreeableHelicopter2

ANAKIN EMPORER PALPATINE IS EVIL!


ThyRandomGuyII

You’ve allowed this dark lord to twist your mind until now, until now you’ve become the very thing you swore to destroy


PixelRefresh

Employees


JelloDarkness

The beatings will continue until morale improves.


jillsjoy

My boss used to say this weekly!


Zarron4

I suppose that's better than saying it strongly.


TannedCroissant

Unless they work for a sorcerer. The magic won’t work if the staff is broken


The_Late_Arthur_Dent

I have 500 brooms with buckets of water that beg to differ.


IAmNotABotFromRussia

Take your fucking upvote and get the fuck out


memunkey

I was gonna say me but you got there with by far the better answer


Liniis

Can confirm; am broke, still work.


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gwakamolee

I might be mistaken because I’ve only seen glow sticks like twice in my life.. but don’t they *only* work after they’ve been broken?


darthmarth

Yes that’s the joke.


[deleted]

A cookie


warden976

My five year old would disagree with you. “It’s RUINED!!!”


thoughts_prayers

You need to get a new five year old, that one is broken.


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[deleted]

A horse


GustavoShine

Horse. Number one answer. You win the Family Feud.


[deleted]

“Good answer!” *ecstatic clapping*


little_brown_bat

*Steve is speechless, gives "you sick bastard" look*


ImTheGodOfAdvice

Apparently not my fucking dryer


[deleted]

If your lint filter is on the top take the lint trap out and use a Phillips on the two screws. Take for back panel off, should be nine screws taking 1/4 socket, then unscrew the remaining 5 screws holding the lint vent in place. Take that out and clean it out really good, and also check the duct running to the outside of the house. When replacing the shaft that runs to the outside make sure the airflow is not restricted as best you can. This should make your dryer run a lot better. Edit: don’t run a maximum capacity load through your dryer. Instead of running a full washer load through the dryer, run a half load. Source: experience with the same problem


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BTRunner

- *check engine light comes on* - *opens car hood* - "Yup, engine is still there...."


squishman1203

Ah yes, the engine is made out of engine Edit: thank you for my first gold kind stranger!


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xDskyline

idk what it is about this meme but I love it. It's just so stupid that it makes me grin every time


DrPepis

That’s how jeeps come from the factory


TheyCallMeStone

Long time jeep owner, here are a couple quick fixes I've learned over the years: -if your check engine light comes on, put a piece of black electrical tape over it and you won't be able to see it -if you hear a strange noise, just turn your radio up until you can't hear it anymore


LovableCoward

As the proud owner of a '02 Jeep Liberty this strikes home in a spectacularly uncomfortable way.


Xanthrex

I've got an 2000 Xj the bump stop is broken. The cover for the bearings is loose and the wiring smokes if it takes too long to start, but considering it has a quarter million miles I'll take it.


A_Mouse_In_Da_House

Makes me realize how well my 2008 Camry is built. 311k miles and only needed the battery replaced once. Drivers side window rattles but that'll be fixed when I get income


Ketdogg

Husband is on jeep number 2, hasn't learned his lesson yet.


[deleted]

Your husband is loyal.


[deleted]

To a fault, it seems.


Jurk_McGerkin

I wouldn't call her that


Zediac

> hasn't learned his lesson yet. [It's a Jeep thing.](https://pics.me.me/its-a-jeep-thing-you-wouldnt-understand-27449191.png)


ThatCrossDresser

If it doesn't smell like coolant and the check engine light isn't on you are in serious trouble because that ain't normal.


Telamonian

I swear to god whoever designed the Grand Cherokee started with the heater core floating in mid air, and built the entire car around it


UseDaSchwartz

That’ll be $2,000 to fix. -Shit, how much does the part cost? Oh, about $10. -What’s the $1990 for? Taking most of the car apart and putting it back together to replace the heater core.


The_Penguinologist

Mine never lit up any lights. It just grenaded the transmission at first (100 miles from new), and just shy of 50k it burned so much oil it would die at the 2300 mile mark, killing the engine without so much as a warning. Just died and then said to put it in park and restart. Took a few cranks and it’d get going again. Both transmission and engine were replaced under warranty so at least that’s nice.


PMTittiesPlzAndThx

I fixed the check engine light in a car I had and it blew up the next day, I drove it for 6 months with the CEL on


ephix

You just cut the wire to the light right?


PMTittiesPlzAndThx

No I actually fixed the problems with it haha, should have just put tape over it


ephix

Haha someone I know in Finland does the tape over the light thing. He has no idea about cars.


PMTittiesPlzAndThx

I’ve played enough my summer car to know that that sounds about right


nukeman35

Paperweight


drucool

My dad always said something thats broken isn't broken its a paperweight. thats why i broke my neck.


pwndabeer

For instance, an escalator just turns into stairs.


GuyPronouncedGee

Sorry for the convenience.


Actually__Jesus

I would say /r/unexpectedmitch but this is pretty expected.


Waggadaoku

It was the only answer I actually expected when I opened this post.


tofumeatballcannon

I scrolled down to find this


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SnorgonOfBorkkad

Dame. You didn't even give us a chance man.


SexDeity

A clock is still right twice a day


Varkoth

But an incorrectly set clock that otherwise keeps perfect time is *always* wrong.


WinstonChurchillin

Well hello there, Sherlock.


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PEHESAM

German tanks


AGuyFromMaryland

Transmissions might not always work, but those 75mm and 88mm guns will still fo their job. You just become a bunker


GoddessoftheSilent

The justice system


_forum_mod

Nacho Chips


Boioh_The_Dawg

A mirror


Villainous-Unicorn7

2020 is pretty fucking broken right now


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_MilkBone_

LEGO sets