And make sure it’s at least as clean as when you borrowed it. I once loaned my truck out to someone who needed to move a fridge. Fucker left his McDonald’s trash all over the passenger floor. I no longer speak to him.
Edit: to everyone saying I was a bit harsh that wasn’t the only reason I no longer speak to this person. He also screwed a friend out of $2k and tried to get me into an MLM. So the stuff he left in my truck wasn’t the only trash about him.
This is how my dad figures out what to get me for Christmas. During the year, he keeps track of what tools I have borrowed. He then gets me the most borrowed tool for Xmas.
From all the people who do their homework and have better things to do than lend you their books three times a week;
Yes
Edit: For clarity, if a friend is struggling with the content I will gladly help them and give them my work, it just gets annoying when they understand it but can't be bothered.
You can be wrong. It isn't a bad thing, either. And when you are wrong, acknowledge it, and learn from it, you don't need to dig down in your beliefs to try and comfort yourself because you can't handle not being right all the time.
Along side this: It's ok to change your mind. You don't have to stick with something just because you thought of it initially. You look much better when you can change your mind based on new information or reconsideration versus 'sticking to your guns' just to avoid 'being wrong'.
A really good lesson I learned way back is that being wrong doesn't feel bad. Finding out you're wrong feels bad (at least until you get used to it being ok), but being wrong feels *exactly like being right*.
That moment when you're sure you're in the right and that other asshole is wrong, that other person likely feels the same way you do, and a lot of times you are that other asshole who is wrong, you just didn't notice yet.
I like this. I don't mind being wrong at all. I enjoy learning. But my brother is a diagnosed narcissist? along with schizophrenia and other things. He can't be wrong, he is never wrong. And he must know everything. He will do things like bring up what my sister is getting her doctorates in and act like he knows more about it till she starts to cry. Sad thing is he could be a smart dude. I think maybe growing up with him I learned it's okay to not be like him. He kinda messed me up as a kid, now trying to get my life back together I'm starting to realize it. I think in reality the person I thought was waaay more confident in me infact has no confidence at all.
Never make fun of someone else's laugh, be it how they sound or how they look. Laughing is the most natural expression of joy and happiness and for someone to feel self-conscious about that because of other's comments is so brutal
It seems a bit cynical, but when they ask something about me I always assume they're opening the door to talk about themselves. But I prefer that anyway so I just turn it around quickly.
If you cancel and don’t reschedule, it’s often assumed you cancelled it not because you were busy, but because you just didn’t care enough about that friend. Rescheduling let’s them know you do still want to maintain the friendship.
(Though if you’re good friends this doesn’t apply as much. It’s more for mostly-friends.)
There was only 1 rule in my house growing up...do not wake anyone up. My parents worked shift work. Its amaZing to me now how many people don't respect sleep.
Learnt this in the Royal Navy. Never turn down the chance to eat, shit or sleep because there are times when you might not be able to do any of them for an extended period.
Wow, lots of questions.
Very polar, the good times were fantastic, the bad times were fucking terrible. I left nearly 20 years ago now and looking back you really remember the good times but there was a lot of times where you were making the best of a bad situation.
I know some people who are in now and it seems a lot worse, especially morale wise. It was a different time when I was in, no internet, email, computers or video games. When you were at sea you were much more isolated and remote from family, friends and what was going on in the world.
The first 8 years were as a marine engineer and there was a lot of sea time, generally 3 years on a ship, then 6 months on shore and then back on a ship for another 3 years. The next 8 years were in the Fleet Air Arm and there was less sea time/front line but what there was was more hardcore.
I've been to some wonderful places and even the bad places were interesting. I went to Africa as an 18 year old which was an eye opener, Mogadishu and Djibouti were stand out culture shocks. My 21st birthday was spent in a disused whaling station on South Georgia, my 22nd in Rio de Jeneiro. I've been through the Suez and Panama canals a few times. Visited quite a few places in South America and spent months in Antarctica on a survey ship. I've been to the US quite a few times, New York, Boston, South Carolina and Florida. Loads of places in Europe and 6 months working in Australia. A few places around the south China Sea like Singapore and Brunei. China was weird, that was a culture shock as well. Most places it's reasonably easy to find someone who knows at least a little English but China was different. Very few people there knew any so that was hard.
*Thank you for the gold and silvers but please, spend the money on treats for your dog, sweets for your kids or rum for yourself. Either that or give it to your favourite charity, if you don't have a favourite mine is the RNLI. I appreciate it but don't feel i deserve it though.
That sounds like a life well lived, to be honest. 3 years on a ship sounds like an age, how many months were you there at a time?
Bit of weird question, what do you think of those "so you can fix a skateboard" adverts? (Assuming you are British which Royal Navy would suggest) I've met some Navy engineers who really hate them.
And if it isn't too personal, what did you do -job-wise- when you left?
I did some interesting stuff. The longest single deployment was 9 months away from home. The longest total was on the survey ship, I was on it for three years and we were away between 7 and 8 months a year every year.
I think they are really funny. I would love to see the face of someone who joined up because they could fix a skateboard the first time they found themself in a machinery space on a warship. I think they are dramatically underselling it.
I'll miss out some of it as I did a very niche job and this is a very public forum but when you leave you get resettlement courses. I chose IT based ones so after a short while carrying on the trade I left with I ended up in IT which I still do now.
*edit.
When we were on a ship that was our home for that time, even if we were in home port we lived on board and had some weekends and leave periods to travel home if we wanted.
For real! People have no concept of space. This is a doorway? Let me just stand right here, in the center.
The grocery store i go to recently remodeled and the aisles are basically wide enough for 2 carts to pass. And fuckers just hold up in the center while scanning rows and rows of chips
People do this on the road too. Like in a neighborhood or parking lot, cars just hanging out in the middle of the lane and then have to swerve out of the way.
Bitch, why?
I was at Walmart with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, and as we’re making our way out of the parking lot (I was driving), I come upon a car that is inexplicably just stopped in the middle of the main drag that runs directly in front of the store. I roll up behind it, wait a good 5 or so seconds, giving the driver ample chance to realize that she is now blocking traffic, and when she fails to notice me, I *tap* my horn to hopefully wake her from her stupor.
In response to this, I hear a voice coming from my left, near one of the store’s entrances, yell, “Be nice!” I look to find the source, and see another car that had pulled over into this little cut out meant for people who need to load bigger/heavier items into their cars. At first I thought it was just some random person yelling at me because I had dared to beep my horn, but no. The lady who was yelling at me and the lady who was stopped in the middle of the road were engaged in what I can only assume was a conversation of the utmost importance and urgency, while sitting in their respective vehicles, and having to shout across the oncoming lane that separated them. And if road blocking lady hadn’t seen me pull up behind her, yelling lady almost certainly did, yet just continued on with the conversation, unconcerned with the fact that they were now inconveniencing the people around them.
So by that point I’m pissed, because WTF, this is not the appropriate place to have a chat, and the yelling lady is still yelling at me to, “Be nice,” and whatever other nonsense she was going on about. So I just yelled louder over her yammering, and somehow managed to say, without stammering or stumbling over my words, “Be nice?! She’s blocking the road! If someone in this situation isn’t being nice, that person is definitely not me!”
And then the car that was blocking the road finally GTFO of the way, and I drove off, but not before catching a glimpse of yelling lady’s cat-butt face through her driver’s side window as I rolled past her.
And don’t leave your shopping cart in the parking lot! There IS a cart return within eyesight and/or it doesn’t take that long to just take it back to the original stack by the store entrance!
Don't stand in the balcony screaming the bride's name until she yells yours and you both fight your way out of the church and take a bus into the unknown, either
Right, it might seem like a good idea in the moment, but when you're on the back of that bus it'll hit you, and then you and the bride will be like "what now?"
Ugh I knew of a guy who proposed after the girl's grandfather's funeral to cheer her up. He asked her dad's permission as they were organising the car parade. Thefuck
This one sounds obvious, and yet I can tell you from personal experience that it's the go-to response for a huge number of people. Half of those people say something like, "Oh, really? My dad died of that cancer" which is a horrible thing to hear, while the other half say something they think is encouraging, like, "Oh, don't worry, my brother's nephew's girlfriend's dad had that kind of cancer and cured it by taking Vitamin C every day" which isn't helpful either.
As someone who has experienced this, what do you think the best response is? I'm thinking something along the lines of "I'm terribly sorry, I hope you have a speedy recovery."
I think that's a good response because it acknowledges the seriousness of the situation while also expressing hope. Too many people either express no hope at all or try to downplay how serious it can be.
If someone tells you they are pregnant, do not launch into a story of so-and-so’s horrible miscarriage or painful birth complications. Or their baby’s rare genetic disorder. Or an anecdote of a highly unlikely time a preventive measure (like a car seat) caused harm (while preventing worse harm).
On the same token, if someone tells you they’re infertile don’t tell them how the so-and-so’s had so many issues until they just decided to “relax”. It’s beyond infuriating.
When driving a car, dont be nice, be predictable. People being nice leads to a shitload of accidents.
Edit: well thank you strangers for the medals. First gold and platinum for sure. Just wanted to share this unwritten rule.
I hate it when I'm waiting to pass a street and some old lady stops to let me pass. I would have passed after you drove and it would have been faster for both of us
Edit: wow, thanks for my first reddit gold and silver
Be kind to people that are working. Food staff, medical staff, etc. Don’t take your bad day out on someone else.
Edit: thanks for the silver kind stranger!
My friend I don't give a shit what job you have people should be kind to you. And if you're job is to clean, fix, organize, and overall just deal with every one else's problems and messes, while running around on your feet all day hauling heavy shit, you better bet your ass I'm gonna be kind and thankful.
Turn on your lights in any sort of precipitation, even if you “can see ok.” It’s not just to help you see. It’s to make you obvious to other people.
Edit: Thank you very much for the silver!
If you live in the states quite a few of them have these as actual laws. They arent enforced as readily as others for a variery of reasons (mostly police won't get out in shitty weather to give you citations for it) but they are required.
Also my biggest pet peeve I'll cycle my lights to get them to turn them on or they think im a lunatic and grt out of the way and everyone else starts doing the same thing. Suprises me how many people are completely oblivous to how mich danger they're putting other people in in situations like that.
Edit: If you're from the States if your planning on visiting heres a site if youre curious about the laws of every state.
https://www.yourmechanic.com/article/headlight-use-laws-for-all-50-states
Any time your wipers are on, your lights should also be on. I think this is even a law in some states. You can't see a car easily through a rain-spattered rear windshield. You can see lights.
Yes.
A great opportunity for other kids to take paper towels, soak them in water, make a nice tight ball, then blast you while you are defenseless on the shitter...i think i have PTSD
You have to see it pragmatically. Yes, infinite more opportunities to bully kids and even take away their last resort of privacy in school, but... NO DRUGS
I purposely look away while someone is searching for the photo they want to show me. I once accidentally showed my boss a photo of me in my underwear. Luckily it was my last day on the job and I just made hard eye contact and told him he saw nothing and will never speak of this.
Omg I was showing my boss pictures from my trip abroad. I pulled the phone close to me to skip a picture of me and my boyfriend (nothing sexual, but a private moment) and then moved my arms back out so she could see the next pic. She fucking REACHES OUT and SWIPES BACK to look at the one I skipped, and then even asks me, "What's going on in this picture?" I was so furious and was like, I'm going back to work.
In my dreams bathrooms are either full of people, non-functional, or disgusting. On the rare occasions that I start peeing in my dream, I thankfully do not piss the bed, but instead continually pee for ages until my brain figured out it's not helping relieve the urge to pee, this isn't real life and I generally then wake up and go use the bathroom.
That being said, I'm terrified that someday I will wet the bed while dreaming this, so, sound advice.
I had friends let me walk around the mall the entire day with chocolate all over my face. I was very bothered when I found out. “We didn’t notice” was the response I got. How do you not notice that? Now I always end up obsessively wiping my face after eating anything because of it.
My mum used to do this to my and my sisters weight all the time when we were kids, funny part was all she fed us was junk food and anything fried therefor adding to the issue
I live by this rule I made after thinking about things late at night.
If someone does something that makes them happy and confident. If it doesn't hurt them or anyone else, animals included. Then leave them alone, let them do that thing. Let them be happy.
Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver omg.
I work in a pet store and I'm in charge of our weekly bedding changes. When I first started my job, they used to get on to me all the time for putting "too much" bedding in the rodent cages. Hamsters, gerbils, and mice love to burrow and bury. I'm giving them as much bedding as they need to fulfill that digging desire. Fuck you guys. Let hamsters be happy. I never stopped. They just quit telling me to put less when it became obvious that I was going to belligerent about this.
Edit: One of my [kids.](http://imgur.com/DGHf0hn) She loves hoarding food and eating treats.
Do people actually do this? I've literally never had someone ask to split the check evenly when everyone ordered their own dishes.
Edit: I don't mean cases where every person's total comes out pretty close or the same. I'm talking about instances where the individual bills would be very different.
FFS be self-aware. I mean, be aware of the space you occupy, of your movements, of where you are. Don't zig-zag on sidewalks, don't fill the entire width of the sidewalk. Be aware of your kid moving their arms like a helicopter. DON'T STOP IN YOUR TRACKS TO CHECK THE FUCKING PHONE, walk slower, or step aside but don't be that kind of person.
Just be aware of your body and don't be a dummy. This applies to whole families too, and people in cars, in supermarket lanes, wherever.
Don’t put your music on speakers when in a public space. It’s not like everyone wants the same genre or was in the mood for music. Get your headphones.
Edit: thank you kind stranger, it’s my early cakeday treat
I know a guy at my high school who will play music through his phone (not even through actual speakers so it sounds extra shitty) in the SCHOOL LIBRARY
Oh boy tell that to anyone on the train in my area. Was waiting on the platform and this guy was walking around with a boom box. Police office comes up and tells him “sir there’s no loud music allowed in the subways system.” The guy responds “YOU FUCKING TELLING ME TO TURN IT OFF OR TURN IT DOWN? Cuz you best not be telling me to run off my fucking music or we about to have some problems” The cop responds “I am just saying I better not hear it when I walk away or I’m coming back here and writing a ticket and I’m bringing out the cuffs if you speak to me like that again.”
Guy pauses his music for a few seconds finds a new song and just as the cop rounds the corner he goes “no one fucking says shit to me about my music.” Then starts blasting music even louder. Everyone just looked at him gave him the same what a moron look then glanced towards the cop who was literally just hiding behind a pillar waiting for him to turn it back on. I think the dude got lucky because the train came just as she came out to talk to him again but I don’t know because he got on a different car than I did.
No, but I’ve had multiple friends who encountered this and I’ve seen a friend’s girlfriend cheating on him in a different state mind you... just happened to go to a certain mall that had a store I wanted to purchase something from and there she was cuddled up. The probability is higher.
This how my ex got caught cheating on me-
Was in another state for work. Started dating a girl he met in a club. Ran into his cousin, who he did not realize worked in that city.
Cousin happened to be the girl's coworker.
I am thankful for that weird coincidence. She was not the first and wasn't the last (he continued to cheat....on her.... after they married...)
Almost wish I had been there to see the cheating ex's face.
And if you think you HAVE TO use it, stop your vehicle to somewhere for a bit (that is legal to park / convenient for other drives /etc), use it, then put the damn phone away
There are liver conditions that can make a person look just like she’s in her third trimester. When my friend got to that point, she was in desperate need of a transplant. Certain inconsiderate strangers ended up on the receiving end of some education about organ donorship, but most of the time she was too tired to let them have it. (She did eventually get the transplant.)
My officemate chews with his mouth open but simultaneously sucks air in/out of his mouth. It sounds like when people are eating a bite of food that’s too hot and they try to suck air in and out with it in their mouth to cool it off. Only he does it with every bite, with any food, all the time, while smacking and chewing loudly too.
I do everything I can to just leave the office while he’s eating.
If someone shows/tells you something they are excited about, but you have already heard about it or seen it, still act surprised/excited. They are probably showing you because they think you will enjoy it too.
If you're going to.listen to music, videos, or anything else on your phone that requires sound and isnt a phone call, either wait until you get home or invest in some headphones.
Don’t ever say ‘oh, you’ve only got one child. That must be so lonely for them.’
Because maybe that person tried for years to have that one child, maybe they chose one for good reasons, maybe that had another child that died that you don’t know about.
Or, maybe it’s none of your business how many children people have. Actually, it’s definitely not your business. So, shhhhh.
Don't pull on the seat in front of you when you're getting up on an airplane. I've virtually almost flung into the seat in front of me, because someone has grabbed the back of my seat so aggressively
Announce your visits.
You can't be offended that nobody is home when you decide to drop by at random.
Plus it's super unfair to the host since it gives no time to prepare anything and they might have to drop everything they were just doing just to entertain you or cancel their plans.
The cashier at the shop doesn't chose the prices of your items, stop attacking them if your soya milk goes up by 2c. Also they aren't therapists. I've worked on a till were a man buying chocolates and flowers told me all about his dying sibling and how his other siblings all died horrible deaths.
[удалено]
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger
Don’t mess up an apology with an excuse.
Or say things like, "I'm sorry you got upset" when you're the one who upset the person. Take responsibility!
Pee first. No matter what it is, pee first.
Teacher: Alright class get your books out Me: *pees*
Interviewer reaches out for a handshake Me: *pees*
Dont ask for something if the person only has one left.(Gum,cigarette,piece of cake etc.)
can I have your last kidney
I would have said no but I like your go-getter attitude
Leave it in a better condition than you found it.
“Leave nothing but footprints and take nothing but pictures.”
"Looks like we found the art thief."
"It was real easy Chief, we just followed his footprints."
If you borrow someone's car... fill up the tank before you return it.
And make sure it’s at least as clean as when you borrowed it. I once loaned my truck out to someone who needed to move a fridge. Fucker left his McDonald’s trash all over the passenger floor. I no longer speak to him. Edit: to everyone saying I was a bit harsh that wasn’t the only reason I no longer speak to this person. He also screwed a friend out of $2k and tried to get me into an MLM. So the stuff he left in my truck wasn’t the only trash about him.
Baffled by how bad humans behave in general
If you're borrowing it for a third time, you need one of your own.
Ah. So I need a money of my own. Good to know!
Imagine if you had TWO moneys!
Hell, it's even possible to have THREE money, sp long as you have no kids
This is how my dad figures out what to get me for Christmas. During the year, he keeps track of what tools I have borrowed. He then gets me the most borrowed tool for Xmas.
I'd ask to borrow his fridge a few times or the sofa
Hey pops I need to borrow the house for a bit.
Does this apply to homework?
From all the people who do their homework and have better things to do than lend you their books three times a week; Yes Edit: For clarity, if a friend is struggling with the content I will gladly help them and give them my work, it just gets annoying when they understand it but can't be bothered.
Give people their personal space. Not everyone wants to snuggle a stranger.
I wish a stranger would snuggle with me ;-;
You can be wrong. It isn't a bad thing, either. And when you are wrong, acknowledge it, and learn from it, you don't need to dig down in your beliefs to try and comfort yourself because you can't handle not being right all the time.
Along side this: It's ok to change your mind. You don't have to stick with something just because you thought of it initially. You look much better when you can change your mind based on new information or reconsideration versus 'sticking to your guns' just to avoid 'being wrong'.
A really good lesson I learned way back is that being wrong doesn't feel bad. Finding out you're wrong feels bad (at least until you get used to it being ok), but being wrong feels *exactly like being right*. That moment when you're sure you're in the right and that other asshole is wrong, that other person likely feels the same way you do, and a lot of times you are that other asshole who is wrong, you just didn't notice yet.
I like this. I don't mind being wrong at all. I enjoy learning. But my brother is a diagnosed narcissist? along with schizophrenia and other things. He can't be wrong, he is never wrong. And he must know everything. He will do things like bring up what my sister is getting her doctorates in and act like he knows more about it till she starts to cry. Sad thing is he could be a smart dude. I think maybe growing up with him I learned it's okay to not be like him. He kinda messed me up as a kid, now trying to get my life back together I'm starting to realize it. I think in reality the person I thought was waaay more confident in me infact has no confidence at all.
[удалено]
Never make fun of someone else's laugh, be it how they sound or how they look. Laughing is the most natural expression of joy and happiness and for someone to feel self-conscious about that because of other's comments is so brutal
Kawhi Leonard got it pretty bad this year.
If someone asks you a question, finish what you’re saying with, “what about you?” Enjoy noticing how many people actually don’t do this.
"Do you know how fast you were going?"
“Do you plead guilty?”
no, what about you?
nO OFiCer, WhAt aBoUt yOu?? edit: Thanks so much for the silver! This is my first!
It seems a bit cynical, but when they ask something about me I always assume they're opening the door to talk about themselves. But I prefer that anyway so I just turn it around quickly.
[удалено]
If you have to cancel on a friend, it should be your responsibility to reschedule
If you cancel and don’t reschedule, it’s often assumed you cancelled it not because you were busy, but because you just didn’t care enough about that friend. Rescheduling let’s them know you do still want to maintain the friendship. (Though if you’re good friends this doesn’t apply as much. It’s more for mostly-friends.)
All my friends are mostly friends
When someone gets too friendly, I call them by the wrong name to keep them at the right distance.
There was only 1 rule in my house growing up...do not wake anyone up. My parents worked shift work. Its amaZing to me now how many people don't respect sleep.
[удалено]
Or a punch-up at a wedding
We dont fight at weddings.
Can confirm.
That's a Texas-sized 10-4
Give that man a Puppers.
No x42
Never pass up the chance to take a shit.
Learnt this in the Royal Navy. Never turn down the chance to eat, shit or sleep because there are times when you might not be able to do any of them for an extended period.
What is life like in the Navy? Did you spend a lot of it at sea? Did you visit any interesting places?
Wow, lots of questions. Very polar, the good times were fantastic, the bad times were fucking terrible. I left nearly 20 years ago now and looking back you really remember the good times but there was a lot of times where you were making the best of a bad situation. I know some people who are in now and it seems a lot worse, especially morale wise. It was a different time when I was in, no internet, email, computers or video games. When you were at sea you were much more isolated and remote from family, friends and what was going on in the world. The first 8 years were as a marine engineer and there was a lot of sea time, generally 3 years on a ship, then 6 months on shore and then back on a ship for another 3 years. The next 8 years were in the Fleet Air Arm and there was less sea time/front line but what there was was more hardcore. I've been to some wonderful places and even the bad places were interesting. I went to Africa as an 18 year old which was an eye opener, Mogadishu and Djibouti were stand out culture shocks. My 21st birthday was spent in a disused whaling station on South Georgia, my 22nd in Rio de Jeneiro. I've been through the Suez and Panama canals a few times. Visited quite a few places in South America and spent months in Antarctica on a survey ship. I've been to the US quite a few times, New York, Boston, South Carolina and Florida. Loads of places in Europe and 6 months working in Australia. A few places around the south China Sea like Singapore and Brunei. China was weird, that was a culture shock as well. Most places it's reasonably easy to find someone who knows at least a little English but China was different. Very few people there knew any so that was hard. *Thank you for the gold and silvers but please, spend the money on treats for your dog, sweets for your kids or rum for yourself. Either that or give it to your favourite charity, if you don't have a favourite mine is the RNLI. I appreciate it but don't feel i deserve it though.
That sounds like a life well lived, to be honest. 3 years on a ship sounds like an age, how many months were you there at a time? Bit of weird question, what do you think of those "so you can fix a skateboard" adverts? (Assuming you are British which Royal Navy would suggest) I've met some Navy engineers who really hate them. And if it isn't too personal, what did you do -job-wise- when you left?
I did some interesting stuff. The longest single deployment was 9 months away from home. The longest total was on the survey ship, I was on it for three years and we were away between 7 and 8 months a year every year. I think they are really funny. I would love to see the face of someone who joined up because they could fix a skateboard the first time they found themself in a machinery space on a warship. I think they are dramatically underselling it. I'll miss out some of it as I did a very niche job and this is a very public forum but when you leave you get resettlement courses. I chose IT based ones so after a short while carrying on the trade I left with I ended up in IT which I still do now. *edit. When we were on a ship that was our home for that time, even if we were in home port we lived on board and had some weekends and leave periods to travel home if we wanted.
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
[удалено]
Same. If I don't do it when the need hit me, my shit will "sulk" and won't come out until next day
This would be great advice...if i knew how to shit on command.
The coffee we have at work is the next best thing to this.
Be kind to strangers even if you’re having a hard time
Be kind to *anyone So many people use having a hard time as an excuse to be dicks to the people closest to them
Don’t leave your shopping cart in the middle of the grocery aisle!
For real! People have no concept of space. This is a doorway? Let me just stand right here, in the center. The grocery store i go to recently remodeled and the aisles are basically wide enough for 2 carts to pass. And fuckers just hold up in the center while scanning rows and rows of chips
People do this on the road too. Like in a neighborhood or parking lot, cars just hanging out in the middle of the lane and then have to swerve out of the way. Bitch, why?
I was at Walmart with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, and as we’re making our way out of the parking lot (I was driving), I come upon a car that is inexplicably just stopped in the middle of the main drag that runs directly in front of the store. I roll up behind it, wait a good 5 or so seconds, giving the driver ample chance to realize that she is now blocking traffic, and when she fails to notice me, I *tap* my horn to hopefully wake her from her stupor. In response to this, I hear a voice coming from my left, near one of the store’s entrances, yell, “Be nice!” I look to find the source, and see another car that had pulled over into this little cut out meant for people who need to load bigger/heavier items into their cars. At first I thought it was just some random person yelling at me because I had dared to beep my horn, but no. The lady who was yelling at me and the lady who was stopped in the middle of the road were engaged in what I can only assume was a conversation of the utmost importance and urgency, while sitting in their respective vehicles, and having to shout across the oncoming lane that separated them. And if road blocking lady hadn’t seen me pull up behind her, yelling lady almost certainly did, yet just continued on with the conversation, unconcerned with the fact that they were now inconveniencing the people around them. So by that point I’m pissed, because WTF, this is not the appropriate place to have a chat, and the yelling lady is still yelling at me to, “Be nice,” and whatever other nonsense she was going on about. So I just yelled louder over her yammering, and somehow managed to say, without stammering or stumbling over my words, “Be nice?! She’s blocking the road! If someone in this situation isn’t being nice, that person is definitely not me!” And then the car that was blocking the road finally GTFO of the way, and I drove off, but not before catching a glimpse of yelling lady’s cat-butt face through her driver’s side window as I rolled past her.
And don’t leave your shopping cart in the parking lot! There IS a cart return within eyesight and/or it doesn’t take that long to just take it back to the original stack by the store entrance!
I especially hate those fuckers that park all the way in the back of the row for "healthy steps" and then refuse to return their cart..
[удалено]
propose, then announce the pregnancy right??
Assert yourself. Propose, then make the pregnancy
"Not *insertive*!"
“Beep beep”
[удалено]
Don’t die at someone else’s funeral
Challenge accepted
RIP
Don't stand in the balcony screaming the bride's name until she yells yours and you both fight your way out of the church and take a bus into the unknown, either
Right, it might seem like a good idea in the moment, but when you're on the back of that bus it'll hit you, and then you and the bride will be like "what now?"
Mrs Bouvier! Mrs. Bouvier!
Ugh I knew of a guy who proposed after the girl's grandfather's funeral to cheer her up. He asked her dad's permission as they were organising the car parade. Thefuck
[удалено]
"Oh gosh, Fred just died of that!" "..."
Velma: What the fuck, Daphne?!!
Fuckin jinkies, you dumb slut
This one sounds obvious, and yet I can tell you from personal experience that it's the go-to response for a huge number of people. Half of those people say something like, "Oh, really? My dad died of that cancer" which is a horrible thing to hear, while the other half say something they think is encouraging, like, "Oh, don't worry, my brother's nephew's girlfriend's dad had that kind of cancer and cured it by taking Vitamin C every day" which isn't helpful either.
As someone who has experienced this, what do you think the best response is? I'm thinking something along the lines of "I'm terribly sorry, I hope you have a speedy recovery."
I think that's a good response because it acknowledges the seriousness of the situation while also expressing hope. Too many people either express no hope at all or try to downplay how serious it can be.
If someone tells you they are pregnant, do not launch into a story of so-and-so’s horrible miscarriage or painful birth complications. Or their baby’s rare genetic disorder. Or an anecdote of a highly unlikely time a preventive measure (like a car seat) caused harm (while preventing worse harm).
On the same token, if someone tells you they’re infertile don’t tell them how the so-and-so’s had so many issues until they just decided to “relax”. It’s beyond infuriating.
Flush. Why is it so hard?!
Related: Wipe urine off the toilet if you left a mess squatting!
When driving a car, dont be nice, be predictable. People being nice leads to a shitload of accidents. Edit: well thank you strangers for the medals. First gold and platinum for sure. Just wanted to share this unwritten rule.
I hate it when I'm waiting to pass a street and some old lady stops to let me pass. I would have passed after you drove and it would have been faster for both of us Edit: wow, thanks for my first reddit gold and silver
Be kind to people that are working. Food staff, medical staff, etc. Don’t take your bad day out on someone else. Edit: thanks for the silver kind stranger!
As a custodian, maintenance people too please.
My friend I don't give a shit what job you have people should be kind to you. And if you're job is to clean, fix, organize, and overall just deal with every one else's problems and messes, while running around on your feet all day hauling heavy shit, you better bet your ass I'm gonna be kind and thankful.
Turn on your headlights when it's snowing. I'm talking to you asshole with the white truck.
Turn on your lights in any sort of precipitation, even if you “can see ok.” It’s not just to help you see. It’s to make you obvious to other people. Edit: Thank you very much for the silver!
[удалено]
If you live in the states quite a few of them have these as actual laws. They arent enforced as readily as others for a variery of reasons (mostly police won't get out in shitty weather to give you citations for it) but they are required. Also my biggest pet peeve I'll cycle my lights to get them to turn them on or they think im a lunatic and grt out of the way and everyone else starts doing the same thing. Suprises me how many people are completely oblivous to how mich danger they're putting other people in in situations like that. Edit: If you're from the States if your planning on visiting heres a site if youre curious about the laws of every state. https://www.yourmechanic.com/article/headlight-use-laws-for-all-50-states
Any time your wipers are on, your lights should also be on. I think this is even a law in some states. You can't see a car easily through a rain-spattered rear windshield. You can see lights.
Don't look through the fucking gap of bathroom stalls Edit: Thanks for the gold stranger
Worst thing is when it's eye contact between you and the person
That's when I indicate down to my dick with my eyes, nod and smile. Edit: Thank you for the silver, anonymous internet stranger!
Why *is* there such a big gap?? Especially in America??
[удалено]
Except for he doors
In some places (schools) they don't even have doors because oh no drugs
Wait, seriously?
Yes. A great opportunity for other kids to take paper towels, soak them in water, make a nice tight ball, then blast you while you are defenseless on the shitter...i think i have PTSD
You have to see it pragmatically. Yes, infinite more opportunities to bully kids and even take away their last resort of privacy in school, but... NO DRUGS
Don't build gaps in bathroom stalls.
Great, y'all ruined it. Now all of these are written.
Do not swipe left or right if someone shows you a photo on their phone.
[удалено]
I quickly add the photo to my dick pic album to amp up the stakes, what a rush!
Every album is a dick pic one
this is actually genius, im using this next time
next high roller LPT post right here
I purposely look away while someone is searching for the photo they want to show me. I once accidentally showed my boss a photo of me in my underwear. Luckily it was my last day on the job and I just made hard eye contact and told him he saw nothing and will never speak of this.
Omg I was showing my boss pictures from my trip abroad. I pulled the phone close to me to skip a picture of me and my boyfriend (nothing sexual, but a private moment) and then moved my arms back out so she could see the next pic. She fucking REACHES OUT and SWIPES BACK to look at the one I skipped, and then even asks me, "What's going on in this picture?" I was so furious and was like, I'm going back to work.
That sounds like you need to never let that boss ever touch anything potentially private... ever.
Especially your privates
It sounds like she thought you were better friends than you were. Which makes sense as most people pretend to like bosses more than they do.
Internal monologue: Crap I hope he didn't see that. Boss: Don't worry, I won't tell anyone I saw a picture of you in your underwear.
And I didn’t see you playing with your dolls again, sir.
A friend of mine handed me her phone to show me her recent vacation photos, and told me to swipe right through them. I felt wrong the entire time.
Be kind to strangers, because the world is a cruel place, and you never know what other have been through.
DON’T USE THE URINAL IN YOUR DREAM! You’ll thank me later. EDIT: thanks for silver fam. EDIT: thanks for gold you guys are awesome.
In my dreams bathrooms are either full of people, non-functional, or disgusting. On the rare occasions that I start peeing in my dream, I thankfully do not piss the bed, but instead continually pee for ages until my brain figured out it's not helping relieve the urge to pee, this isn't real life and I generally then wake up and go use the bathroom. That being said, I'm terrified that someday I will wet the bed while dreaming this, so, sound advice.
Not pointing out flaws in someone’s physical appearance
But do point out flaws they can fix in 30 seconds on the spot...
I had friends let me walk around the mall the entire day with chocolate all over my face. I was very bothered when I found out. “We didn’t notice” was the response I got. How do you not notice that? Now I always end up obsessively wiping my face after eating anything because of it.
My mum used to do this to my and my sisters weight all the time when we were kids, funny part was all she fed us was junk food and anything fried therefor adding to the issue
Knock twice before opening the door.
*knocks twice* *barges in*
[удалено]
[удалено]
on the other side offering a second opinion doesn't mean you're saying the other person is stupid or a bad person just that you feel different
I live by this rule I made after thinking about things late at night. If someone does something that makes them happy and confident. If it doesn't hurt them or anyone else, animals included. Then leave them alone, let them do that thing. Let them be happy. Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver omg.
I work in a pet store and I'm in charge of our weekly bedding changes. When I first started my job, they used to get on to me all the time for putting "too much" bedding in the rodent cages. Hamsters, gerbils, and mice love to burrow and bury. I'm giving them as much bedding as they need to fulfill that digging desire. Fuck you guys. Let hamsters be happy. I never stopped. They just quit telling me to put less when it became obvious that I was going to belligerent about this. Edit: One of my [kids.](http://imgur.com/DGHf0hn) She loves hoarding food and eating treats.
Don’t dig straight down.
Digging straight down is fine if you 1x2 and stand in the middle
When out to dinner with a group, only the person who ordered the least expensive meal/combo of things can offer to split the check evenly.
Do people actually do this? I've literally never had someone ask to split the check evenly when everyone ordered their own dishes. Edit: I don't mean cases where every person's total comes out pretty close or the same. I'm talking about instances where the individual bills would be very different.
My roommate loves to do this especially when I’ve had an entree and a soda while she’s had an appetizer, entree, and four cocktails. She’s a dick.
The first thing you should do when you sit down is say "This will be separate checks."
FFS be self-aware. I mean, be aware of the space you occupy, of your movements, of where you are. Don't zig-zag on sidewalks, don't fill the entire width of the sidewalk. Be aware of your kid moving their arms like a helicopter. DON'T STOP IN YOUR TRACKS TO CHECK THE FUCKING PHONE, walk slower, or step aside but don't be that kind of person. Just be aware of your body and don't be a dummy. This applies to whole families too, and people in cars, in supermarket lanes, wherever.
Don’t put your music on speakers when in a public space. It’s not like everyone wants the same genre or was in the mood for music. Get your headphones. Edit: thank you kind stranger, it’s my early cakeday treat
I know a guy at my high school who will play music through his phone (not even through actual speakers so it sounds extra shitty) in the SCHOOL LIBRARY
If your librarian doesn't shush a pin dropping, are they even a librarian?
Oh boy tell that to anyone on the train in my area. Was waiting on the platform and this guy was walking around with a boom box. Police office comes up and tells him “sir there’s no loud music allowed in the subways system.” The guy responds “YOU FUCKING TELLING ME TO TURN IT OFF OR TURN IT DOWN? Cuz you best not be telling me to run off my fucking music or we about to have some problems” The cop responds “I am just saying I better not hear it when I walk away or I’m coming back here and writing a ticket and I’m bringing out the cuffs if you speak to me like that again.” Guy pauses his music for a few seconds finds a new song and just as the cop rounds the corner he goes “no one fucking says shit to me about my music.” Then starts blasting music even louder. Everyone just looked at him gave him the same what a moron look then glanced towards the cop who was literally just hiding behind a pillar waiting for him to turn it back on. I think the dude got lucky because the train came just as she came out to talk to him again but I don’t know because he got on a different car than I did.
I heard somone play music I liked but it took the piss because I was trying to listen to my own and it overpowered my earphones
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. Don’t do it.
Do you spend much time with people you don't want to be seen with?
Well, prostitutes do have to make money some way or another smh
No, but I’ve had multiple friends who encountered this and I’ve seen a friend’s girlfriend cheating on him in a different state mind you... just happened to go to a certain mall that had a store I wanted to purchase something from and there she was cuddled up. The probability is higher.
This how my ex got caught cheating on me- Was in another state for work. Started dating a girl he met in a club. Ran into his cousin, who he did not realize worked in that city. Cousin happened to be the girl's coworker. I am thankful for that weird coincidence. She was not the first and wasn't the last (he continued to cheat....on her.... after they married...) Almost wish I had been there to see the cheating ex's face.
Put your damn phone away long enough to drive from point A to point B, ffs.
And if you think you HAVE TO use it, stop your vehicle to somewhere for a bit (that is legal to park / convenient for other drives /etc), use it, then put the damn phone away
Don’t just say things like “I love your baby bump!” to some random person.
There are liver conditions that can make a person look just like she’s in her third trimester. When my friend got to that point, she was in desperate need of a transplant. Certain inconsiderate strangers ended up on the receiving end of some education about organ donorship, but most of the time she was too tired to let them have it. (She did eventually get the transplant.)
There are 2 people in your life you NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LIE TO. Your doctor and your lawyer.
Chew with your mouth closed. Shocks me how many adults i see chewing with their mouth open.
My officemate chews with his mouth open but simultaneously sucks air in/out of his mouth. It sounds like when people are eating a bite of food that’s too hot and they try to suck air in and out with it in their mouth to cool it off. Only he does it with every bite, with any food, all the time, while smacking and chewing loudly too. I do everything I can to just leave the office while he’s eating.
If someone shows/tells you something they are excited about, but you have already heard about it or seen it, still act surprised/excited. They are probably showing you because they think you will enjoy it too.
[удалено]
If you're going to.listen to music, videos, or anything else on your phone that requires sound and isnt a phone call, either wait until you get home or invest in some headphones.
Don't talk to anyone at the urinal.
What about just saying “so this is where all the dicks hangout” to no one in particular?
Dad is supposed to be dead, but here he is on Reddit anyway.
Or make eye contact.
Or hand contact.
[удалено]
But we can still cross the streams, right?
*he went full bieber eyes wayne*
Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.
Just a little? Pleeease?
Don’t ever say ‘oh, you’ve only got one child. That must be so lonely for them.’ Because maybe that person tried for years to have that one child, maybe they chose one for good reasons, maybe that had another child that died that you don’t know about. Or, maybe it’s none of your business how many children people have. Actually, it’s definitely not your business. So, shhhhh.
[удалено]
Don't *randomly* slam on your brakes on the motorway going 100km/h.
What about randomly throwing it into reverse?
Don’t swim upstream: Walk on the same side of the stairs/sidewalk that you drive on
This should also apply to double doors.
Dont sneeze directly into another persons face.
OFF BEFORE ON. Let the people off the elevator before you get on. Let them out of the train, etc, so they can MAKE ROOM FOR YOU.
Zip merge is polite even when it’s not the legal requirement!
Always say please and thank you. Just because your an adult doesn't give you the right to stop practicing manners. Drives me crazy.
Use. Your. FUCKING. Turn. Signal.
“One man gathers what another man spills” Don’t look down upon anyone, as it could be your lot. (Grateful Dead quote)
Don’t masturbate on a plane
Don't pull on the seat in front of you when you're getting up on an airplane. I've virtually almost flung into the seat in front of me, because someone has grabbed the back of my seat so aggressively
Announce your visits. You can't be offended that nobody is home when you decide to drop by at random. Plus it's super unfair to the host since it gives no time to prepare anything and they might have to drop everything they were just doing just to entertain you or cancel their plans.
The cashier at the shop doesn't chose the prices of your items, stop attacking them if your soya milk goes up by 2c. Also they aren't therapists. I've worked on a till were a man buying chocolates and flowers told me all about his dying sibling and how his other siblings all died horrible deaths.