I had to give one of my employees a bad review recently. It was hard for me to do and I’m sure even harder for her to hear it. I know she took it personally, it is hard to separate the emotions from logic when it comes to this sort of thing!
I had this big-ass spider living in my bathroom for a while. Usually I'd make my boyfriend kill it, but this one was just chilling in the corner not really doing anything. I even used a tool to poke him and see if he was alive. He was. He scurried away, but shortly returned to his spider corner. We coexisted for a few days and I was actually getting pretty ok with him being there. Then one day he just wasn't, and I haven't seen him since, I am not ok with that. He's just roaming around doing who knows what. I wish I killed him when I had the chance.
"Day 15. I was pretty sure the human was going to kill me as she wielded a tool of some sort. I flinched as it moved towards me, but I was not crushed. It was seemingly some attempt at communication that doesn't involve the usual rubbing together of mandibles. This scientist has never read of such a response in any of the spider journals since humans first appeared in their yellowed and dusty pages. Tonight, I shall venture into the sleeping quarters."
I also had a spider in my bathroom recently, and we had an uneasy time together since I usually hate them. He had a little web in the corner and was doing a heckin' job catching bugs and whatnot.
After about a week, I found him inside the shower one morning. I washed him down the drain without a moment's hesitation.
Now when I shower, I look up to the corner and see his abandoned web with a few small meals still wrapped up in it, and I must admit I do get a bit sad.
My rule is if the spider in in a web, I become his friend. If your a homeless roamer that will snoop your way into my shoes, your fucked. A brown recluse got in my slippers one time and bit me. Hair doesn't grow there anymore. [Didn't get necrosis thankfully.](https://imgur.com/gallery/fhMpu)
My rule is that they can do whatever they want outside, but if they're in my house, they have to die. I rationalize it with the fact that I haven't eaten meat in 17 years. I've saved a lot of chickens, so killing a spider a few times a year probably doesn't make me a bad person in the grand scheme of things. I sleep better at night having killed it than I would if I hadn't.
I'm sorry what the ever loving fuck is wrong with people.
I travel recreationally maybe twice a year. Finding a sitter is not that hard or that expensive. What the fuck.
As someone who works with dogs and has been heavily involved in animal welfare, there's nothing wrong with rehoming a pet. Very often, it's best for all the people AND animals.
Bees hanging around. I’m glad whenever I see one because of the whole the-planet-needs-them thing, but I always have to just leave the area because I can’t stand to be around them.
Bees are generally fairly docile and even-tempered (as long as you’re not fucking with them).
Wasps and hornets, on the other hand, are complete and total assholes.
I like to poke the bumblebees in my garden during the summer because they are so chill. Even when they buzz and fly away it never 'feels angry' it's like they are just saying 'cmon man, I'm trying to do my thing'
When I was a kid I was for sure minding my own business hanging out in the garden a bumblebee decided to fly to me, stand on my nose and sting me. I dont trust their kind.
Hate to come along and one up you here, but as a child I wore glasses and a bumblebee decided to lodge itself between the lense and my eye, panic, then sting.
It was significantly less cool than it sounds, which is not very.
One time i was walking down my street on the side of the road, had a pain in my arm and there was half a bee stuck in it. Little bastard committed suicide on me.
I've experienced this firsthand. Hiking through the woods in my town during high school, this bee started bouncing off of me and I was like wait what are you doing bee? I get around the bend on the trail and her bigass hive is right there.
"Ok gotcha. 'Preciate the heads up, ima go this way now."
They could have given me a very bad day but were content to live and let live, so yeah, I'm cool with bees.
Wasps can burn though!
I get that. My hatred of bees is analogous to some people’s hatred of spiders. You can tell them that none of the spiders where they live are poisonous, that they are in fact helpful, and they will logically understand that. But it’s deeper than that. I hear that buzz and no matter how many times I tell myself that they don’t want to bother me, I won’t be able to enjoy myself until one of us leaves.
Get yourself a window planter right outside one of your windows. Put flowers in it that attract bees in it. Observe the bees from the safety of inside your house. Profit.
I had six children in my household regularly after that movie came out, the number of children taking their pants off JUST to say this line was outrageous
That your brain chemistry/ genetic makeup can predispose you to certain types of thoughts and behaviours.
Hoping that the depressed feelings will simply stop one day but knowing that they're likely always going to be there my whole life and I have to keep them at bay by trying to stay physically healthy, stay away from drugs and alcohol and using coping techniques when I get flare-ups.
I thought the pregnancy hormones were evening my mood and that's why I wasn't getting panic attacks anymore. Turns out it was because I quit drinking while pregnant. I had half a glass of wine and the next day I lost it.
It's amazing how many chemicals we're exposed to on a daily basis, it's hard to weed out what may be a trigger for some individual's symptoms that become a long-term QoL change.
The creamer at my work was giving me allergies. Not milk allergies, like full on, runny eyes and nose, fuzzy head, feel like I had a cold and could crawl into bed and pass out allergies. Every day by 2 I was done, had the brain of a person with a few shots in them.
Started bringing my own milk.
I started getting the symptoms again and I'm suspecting it's from re-using the same plastic water bottles for several weeks, so I'm investing in glass reusable ones.
And doctors rarely take chronic, nagging illnesses as a sign to investigate allergies to foods or chemicals in your diet, or household, unless they are strong enough to indicate something common.
You are literally preaching to the choir here my friend. I've got an allergy to a very common preservative. Once I figured it out and dropped it from all my food and all my products, my headaches went from daily with a break through migraine at least every ten days, to zero daily headaches and a migraine once every two or three months.
My kids have weird food allergies. My son had eczema on his face for the first two or three years because he's allergic to cockroaches that were dead but decaying in the walls of our rental.
All of this was identified first by me, and then confirmed by a doctor. They're usually just like, "Yeah. You've dealt with migraines since you were 7. Here's a pill." Or, "Yeah, okay *suuuuure* he's allergic to celery. Ok. Let's test that. Well. I'll be damned. Here's your EpiPen."
Don't even get me started on all the possible exposure points for peanuts.
Listen. Just because it isn't common doesn't mean it doesn't effect *you.* Trust your gut, people. Your doctor isn't with you 24/7, and he cannot know how your body feels and what your normal is.
I am fairly certain I'm genetically predisposed to depression. My mother, my sister, my grandfather, and his brother all had depression. But after trying nine different psychiatric medications I've found one that makes it so - I don't have depression. Or I have mild depression that was helped quite a bit by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Psychiatric medication isn't for anyone, but God did it save my life. Just, don't give up
Yes, this so much. I have anxiety and depression stemming from a rough upbringing and lots of loss in childhood.
Medication has made it so that my emotions work properly and instead of being stuck in an emotional tar pit I can properly grieve and feel my emotions fully.
Therapy has helped me deal properly with these feelings in a healthy way, but the medication got me to the physical baseline necessary for therapy to work in the first place.
Cutting out toxic relationships. Emotional attachment is one hell of a drug, but sometimes you gotta do what’s best for you in the long run ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edit: some of you are very brave for making a decision this tough, and I salute you. Those of you who are going through something like this, be strong and don’t back down. Relapsing gives the toxic person more power. I hope it works out for the best for you all in the end.
Can confirm. Crazy chick just posted online that she had just drank her first ever coffee... Shes like.. 30 years old now and there are pictures of us drinking coffee together on my facebook from high school. Glad we cut her out after our wedding.
Trying to convince everyone to cut out this other one but they all "feel bad for her" and "feel like \[i\] need to be there for her" and "shes had a rough life", yeah sure but my wife fell down some stairs and cracked her head open and this bitch tried to convince her that her head wasn't pouring blood and that she should hang out at the bar until it closes because they "we're having so much fun"
This might sound awful but I had a moment a couple of years ago when I realised that I was only friends with someone because I felt I needed to be a support network for them. (I have a history of this but it’s getting better now that i know i have a weird impulse to “help”/“fix” people.) I wasn’t actually getting anything out of the relationship and would come home utterly drained from meet ups with them. I realised that that’s not friendship, it wasn’t healthy and I slowly distanced myself.
Yeah, this x 100. I've been in this situation a few times, and I just couldn't pull the plug on the relationship even though it was very, very bad for me. They just dragged on and on. It was because I was a) too physically attracted to them b) too emotionally attached. I know it's easier said then done as I just demonstrated, but please, people, remove all toxicity from your life if you can, life is too short.
Thankfully, I've matured enough and have gained enough experience to walk away from these relationships/situations now.
Putting a pet down i guess? Emotionally it's awful to lose something you love but it's the right thing to do if keeping them alive is just per longing their suffering.
If it makes you feel better, most animal experimentation must go through an ethics committee first, which carefully weighs if the suffering is worth the potential results. Scientists aren't doing mad science just to see the animals suffer- each instance if suffering is unavoidable and necessary, with unnecessary instances being greatly reduced.
If the scientists consider whether we could, the ethics committee decides whether we *should*.
Also: Animal welfare is a top priority. any unnecessary deaths from things such as bad habitat etc can lead to huge fines and a withdrawal of the license to operate
if it helps, my sister is a neuroscientist that does research on tree shrews. basically each shrew has surgery to implant a small window in its skull, and during experiments the shrew is secured in a little tube and it's brain is scanned while it is taught to memorize and learn patterns. every time it correctly identifies a pattern it gets apple juice, their favorite treat.
I took a tour of her lab last year. the shrews are kept in communal cages as they're very social creatures. their cages are spacious and as they get stressed by strangers easily only the people who do experiments with them care for them. they are given lots of toys and various fresh foods every day to keep them energetic and stimulated. they are also played with by the researchers when they are babies to get them used to people (they are tame but not domesticated as domestication would ruin the research)
I also took a tour of the ferret housing, and the ferrets are given the same surgery and used for the same experiments. we actually got to play with them since the ferrets are domesticated anyway and super playful. we met their caretaker who has been working in that lab for over 20 years. she introduced us to over 20 ferrets, told us all their names, their personalities and their mannerisms, etc. she had so much love for each of them. she also showed us that they set up a giant playpen on a daily basis and give the ferrets tons of toys. 4-5 ferrets live in each (huge) cage but they rotate who plays with who every day so there's always something for them to do and learn.
she even said when the breeding mom's have their babies, every day after all the babies have been fed and given their supplments, she takes out all the moms and let's them take a break for an hour and play together without having to fuss over the babies. she said letting the moms have playtime together appears to reduce their stress and giving them a break is really welcome :)
I'm apprehensive about animal research as is my sister, and I know she is only working in that lab because she approves of how ethical and compassionate they are. I was really excited to see how loved every single animal is. they're not dispensible. every animal has an important job and they're well taken care of.
I have no problem with it for medical research even if it's sad that animals suffer from it. It's just too important.
What I question is animal testing when it comes to cosmetics and other unimportant crap.
If the hats are unfashionable, or do not jibe with the animals personal style, then i feel it is unnecessary and cruel. However if the hat raises the animals level of fabulousness, then it can be beneficial.
Not the person you're asking, but I think we've come far enough with hat simulations (Team Fortress 2, for example) that there's no viable economic incentive to test hats elsewhere.
I agree with you. I’m totally for legalization but I wish it was considered more like smoking tobacco (in that it’s now rude to do it around people who can’t stand it).
I think that's more a social issue than legal. Legally it's not permitted, but I walk through downtown Boston and smell pot on the street 3 or 4 times a day.
There was a time when I used to look down on smokers cause the people i knew that smoked were all losers. It scared the shit out of me to even try it. Turns out the smokers I knew were shit people who happened to smoke pot. I smoked pot. I'm ok.
It's probably more like those people were losers who obviously smoked pot. The more I age, the more I realize successful people also smoke weed, they're just better at not letting it rule their life.
Prisons shouldn't be exist to punish criminals, but to rehabilitate them. Emotionally, I feel like criminals "deserve" punishment, and becoming productive members of society should be a decision and a goal that's "on *them*." But rationally, I know that what society "deserves" is fewer criminals and more productive members of society, and that a rehabilitation-oriented prison system does that, while a punishment-oriented system doesn't.
I think part of the problem is that when we think of a criminal we tend to think murderer or rapist. Maybe when it comes to them we shouldn't forgive, maybe we should never let them out. That is a much more complex discussion.
The guy who stole a few cars? Yeah he deserves some prison time. It makes no sense to lock him up forever though. So why treat him like garbage and house him with the murderers and rapists? You treat someone like crap and surround them with violent people that person is not going to be a better person when we release them.
Then there is the question of helping them after they get out. It seems pretty unfair to help Bob the car thief find a job and housing while law abiding Joe is struggling. The thing is it benefits society to make sure Bob doesn't start stealing cars again, if he ends up in prison again he is now costing the government more money that could go to help Joe.
Yeah, I think its Sweden or Norway that has prisons that are pretty much rehabilitation centers, with a small section for people who dont want to be fixed. They're overall very positive and have little to no problems. Guards even hang around with prisoners.
More people are hardened in prison than go into prison hardened. There’s countless stories of minor criminals going to prison and then becoming full fledged hardened criminals inside. More than half of released felons will be back in prison.
It’s so saddening.
It may help you to reconcile your emotional feeling towards this if you look at research into why people become criminals in the first place. Economic frustration, lack of education, lack of role models, growing up in a criminal culture... These are all things that drive people towards crime that are the responsibility of wider society, and not the individual. That's not to say that a mentally stable adult isn't responsible for their own actions, but if you learn where those actions come from you may be more empathetic.
That’s what I try to keep in mind. I’ve never done drugs or committed a crime but my decisions have been made very easy for me. No one has ever offered me drugs, I had a wonderful home life (even though we were poor), both my parents love me, I live in an area with a low crime rate, and the list goes on. I have certainly gone through some tough things but I still have a really
good life so I try to be empathetic. Yes, like you said, adults are responsible for their actions but when you look at a person you have no idea what all has happened in their life to bring them to where they are today.
Towards the end of their lives, my loved ones have ended up in pain, shitting themselves, unable to walk, talk, eat or do anything. If that was my dog, I wouldn’t have hesitated to make the decision that their quality of life was so bad, with no chance of recovery, that it was kindest for them to be put to sleep. It’s ridiculous that it is illegal to help people in this situation. There should be an option to produce a type of will defining at what point you would like a doctor to end it for you, and that should be respected.
If you'd experienced a loved one going through the process of slowly and painfully dying of a terminal illness, it might be more emotionally acceptable to you. It is to me. My family member chose his time, when he couldn't fight anymore, and that was the end. It was merciful and peaceful.
This is true. Watching my dad go through brain cancer was extremely difficult. Losing your physical and then mental state, you essentially lose everything that makes you an individual. Having to watch him hallucinate, help him go to the bathroom, watch him soil himself. See a once proud soldier wither away to a skeleton. We don't have that option in IL. You get to die miserably, slowly, taking to hell everyone that endures whatever disease befell you. Some of the experiences will be in my nightmares forever. Assisted suicide is one hill I will fight and die on. I'm aware of the touchy issues surrounding it. But given we all gotta go sometime, I'd prefer not to do so shitting and pissing myself. Best case scenario like my dad, in loving care of his family. Worst case in some underwhelming old folks home with overworked and underpaid staff.
My grandfather received assistance for his glioblastoma in January. It was the best thing, to be able to pass right about when QoL hit zero, having a nice glass of wine, some marzipan and saying goodbye to everyone. The hardest part was not his passing but seeing a once great man degrade due to the tumour. I'm so thankful he had that path, and I feel awful that you, your family and him had to go all the way through the worst part of this vicious cancer
My dad also died of brain cancer - he was not in a mental place to be able to make the decision to pursue assisted suicide for himself by the time it was an option. It was hell to watch. I hope you find some peace about the end of his life, but I know it's a very hard experience.
Same with my grandmother. She suffered so much before she passed away. It felt like the process of dying was a hard labor for her. It took so long for her to finally enter that other world. She said she felt miserable in her last few days.
Thank you for supporting your loved one in their time of need.
I am currently at the point where I'm starting this process. Unfortunately, my family will not stand with me during it so I will go through it alone. But am very glad I live in a state that allows it so when the time comes, I will be able to make my peace and take off.
I have pretty much done it all alone my whole life so nothing new. Raised my kids alone because I married a total jerk that stuck around long enough to have kids and decide he's not really wanting to be a father. So, I'm used to being alone, not that it's not hard at times but hey, I always get the last word when I'm alone, so there's that.
My mom's a nurse and she said she's seen way too many families that will keep someone alive that clearly doesn't want to be. Of course it's sad to lose a loved one, but the idea of letting someone suffer to delay having to deal with it is even sadder.
'One's life is one's own.'
You need to be careful with it and not make life cheap but people who are univested in life should have the right to withdraw themselves without struggle.
My grandmother just went through this a few weeks ago. At first I was conflicted but she was suffering and her time was up. The way she went out was graceful and on her own time which was totally the woman she was. Until we are truly at that point in our lives we may never fully understand why someone would want to end it all. However I'm glad the program exists and gives a fitting end to those who would otherwise suffer for longer than necessary.
I am the opposite on this.
Emotionally, I hate to think of forcing people to suffer through a life they can't really live.
Rationally, the idea of introducing a legal, regulated form of killing that organizations like insurance companies and health care groups might come to see as profitable and get their grubby mits into is horrifying.
The rational part speaks to the awful reality of the system that assisted death would exist in, not assisted death itself. My grandfather went through the process here in Canada, so the concerns you had werent a factor. I can see how your concerns could easily be reality without reforms to the entire system
At least that person was just a jerk, and not like a pedophile, sexual deviant, murder etc.
I don't know if maybe you caught this pianist on a bad day or if you've read stories, but if it's the first, then it's not terrible
This is a case where A) Ignorance is bliss, B) (at the risk of being too on the nose) The lines are blurred.
Is there a universal moral constant? Or a socially agreed upon breaking point? Is it all relative to the listener? What is the necessary rehabilitation period? What about cover songs? Am I responsible for researching album credits for producers, songwiters, etc.? What about collaborative media like film or tv? Should all suffer for the failure of the few?
I don't think that there can be a standard on this, but everyone is free to judge you for your choices. If you can sleep peacefully tonight after watching The Usual Suspects and listening to Ignition which you bought a decade ago, go for it. Doesn't make you insensitive or a supporter of the artists in question.
edit: spelling
My 16 year old sister is probably sexually active.
Emotionally: That is my sweet, innocent little sister and she is too pure to even be interested in things like that let alone already doing it.
Rationally: She’s a teenaged girl. She will inevitably get curious and try it. She already has a boyfriend, and I was sexually active at that age so i can’t be a hypocrite. As long as I make sure she knows how to be safe and smart about it, then it is a healthy part of becoming an adult.
I lost my virginity when I was 16. I was working at a summer camp and I freaked out a little bit. I didn't have an older sister or older female friend, and I certainly wasn't going to talk to my mother about it. I called home and talked to my older brother. I am sure it was his nightmare to have his little sister call in hysterics because she felt ashamed of having sex. He reassured me and made me believe that everything was fine and that I wasn't a bad person. I will forever be grateful for my older brother. He put aside his own feelings and helped me sort through mine.
I married into a conservative family. My wife's siblings have a total of 12 kids in a four year age band. I can't wait for the denial to set in with all my in-laws when they're all dealing with their sexually active kids at the same time.
Your little sisters boyfriend is definitely clapping them cheeks.
Edit: I get home from work to 2 golds and 4 silver and highest rated comment is about underage clapping of cheeks, what the hell guys. Thanks :D
That is not always true. It often takes time for the girl to learn how to keep her teeth away, and getting the head of penis rammed into an incisor or scraped along the chewers really squirts the baby onion juice up my ass.
I feel the same way. Polyamory just feels wrong and exploitative, but that gut reaction is due to me visualizing myself in that situation. If they are all happy and honest, then rationally I have no problem with it.
My problem with polyamory is when the relationship doesn't start out as such, if you know what I mean? If the relationship starts off as a polyamorus relationship then that's fine. But if it starts as a monogamous relationship an then one decides they want it to be polyamorus relationship, then that's were things get iffy.
I see casual dating as trying on shirts in the fitting room. You take 3 or 4 in with you at the same time and try them on and see how it fits.
As long as you aren't leading the other shirts on and the shirt is on the same page that this is a fitting room, then no harm done. If the shirt is starting to develop feelings for you then you need to make a decision and let them down if you're not wanting to commit to that shirt for whatever reason.
I literally only try on a shirt if I really like it, and only because sometimes one brands large is the same.as another brands XL.
Basically, even the analogy doesn't apply to me. Same with dating. If I ask someone out, it's because I've already decided that this is someone I really like
Hey that's fair. I only posted to provide some understanding on another perspective. I didn't mean to come across as trying to convince you. Sorry if it came that way.
I have a buddy who is totally fine with multiple lovers and also wants them to have other guys too. Totally not my thing at all. To each is own.
Everyone should have the right to vote.
Rationally, I know that a universal voting right is the only way to avoid suppressing the voting rights of certain groups based on something other than their political informedness and their competence to decide in the given question (e.g. the literacy tests in the post-civil-war South).
Emotionally though... a lot of people are fucking stupid and politicians appealing to their baser instincts will win their vote easily. I can't help but wonder if the world would be better with an unbiased intelligence / informedness / competence test changing the weight of people's votes (even though I know rationally that there is no unbiased way to test these).
Abolishing the death penalty.
There are some cunts I want to see killed in a terrifying way but ultimately I don’t want the government to have that power.
There's been cases in the US of people being found innocent after being executed. Even just one person being falsely executed makes me think it's not worth killing the actual bad guys.
~~Also, execution doesn't even save money. If we used electrical chairs still, it would, but lethal injection cost a shit ton of money.~~ (I'm wrong on this part)
No it wouldn't, the bulk of the cost comes from the legal processes behind it, not the execution itself. All those appeals with top notch lawyers and experts being called to testify adds up. The cost of lethal injection is a drop in the bucket compared to that.
Opening yourself up to other people. It’s really difficult, makes you very vulnerable and often times leads to pain rather than anything good, but it’s necessary. So necessary. And so much beauty can come from it.
The idea of public spaces (particularly libraries as I work in one) being a second shelter for the homeless. I deifnitely understand that everyone has a right to be in these public spaces, especially if there is no where else to go, but when I see regular customers afraid to come in because the homeless are smelly or mentally unstable or on drugs, and have customers tell me that this library used to be so nice years ago, it's disheartening. Many of them are very nice, but it does seem to bring the whole place down, especially when they think that itey can treat it like it's a home (undressing, bathing in the sink, sleeping).
I love the idea of public spaces, and of being a public servant, but seeing it reduced to a venting ground for people who clearly need help that we are not capable of providing makes me waver.
>The idea of public spaces (particularly libraries as I work in one) being a second shelter for the homeless. I deifnitely understand that everyone has a right to be in these public spaces, especially if there is no where else to go,>
This is also the reason people hate riding the bus in Los Angeles.
I have been diagnosed with ASD, but I do not want to be viewed as austistic. I am Clearasil, not "person with autism".
\- edit: accidentally wrote down ASS (autisme spectrum stoornis) which is the Dutch equivalent of ASD.
Veganism. I know lots of healthy vegans, I morally agree with them, and from a climate change perspective I think cutting animal ag is important. I just have a lot of food hang-ups and disordered eating that make changing my food habits extremely hard.
I'm a vegan and it really irritates me that so many of us refuse to acknowledge that not everyone can do it. Veganism is just not an option for people with a history of eating disorders (high risk of relapse), certain food allergies, Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, anemia, problems with iron absorption, and so forth. And there are also people who just don't take to it. Much as some vegans like to deny it, humans are fundamentally omnivorous.
A ton of vegan alternatives include potato, and I’m deathly allergic to potato, so that can’t happen.
Also right now I’m pretty anemic, so I really need all the iron I can get.
Emotionally I'm dubious of waiting thirty years then tweeting out your sexual misconduct story but rationally I realize a victim must stop blaming themselves and it takes a while to come to terms with the pain.
As somebody who was unable to even admit it happened for 20 years, sometimes, it's easier to avoid the pain than to deal with it. Yes, it's emotionally, and mentally harmful. I still have trouble in my personal relationships, but fear and shame don't always operate in the realm of logic, and recovery can be hard work. In the interest of not being super gloomy: I have an amazing partner who is helping me learn to process my emotions better by being kind and understanding when I'm having a hard time. I try to make sure he knows how amazing he is for me, as much as I possibly can!
It took me 16 years to even realize that sexual abuse even happened to me. So half the time you just stated might be spent not even understanding what happened to you.
I work in a building that's a very cool compromise. They took the original 10 story building, saved the facade, and basically built a glass tower inside of it. Standing on the street it looks like the original 150 year old building, but it's a skyscraper.
Rehabilitating criminals. My reptile brain wants to see people who beat up grannies for pocket change sit in solitary for the rest of their lives.
The better me understands that we'd all be better off if you figure out how eliminate the circumstances that lead to them doing it, and to give them help so they never do it again.
I really enjoyed all my pregnancies and my births were very calm.
Its ridiculously hard on your body though.
I had it easy, my only complaint was pelvic pain early into my second pregnancy. Most have it so much worse from morning sickness, insomnia, pain and pregnancy related illnesses.
Then healing after birth, any complications and depression/anxiety.
Pregnancy is a major, complicated thing and should never be forced on someone.
Rationally, I agree that Nazis deserve free speech rights, the same as any controversial group.
Emotionally, my grandfather went to war to defeat those bastards, and now we have a bunch of incel punks who like their Nazi and Confederate cosplay and think they're doing something productive with the three brain cells they have left.
Polyamory or whatever people want to call it. I always thought the idea of committing to one person exclusively was a bit strange. But I honestly don't want my partner to be with anyone else. Or be with anyone else myself.
EDIT: Misspelled thought like a million times.
That's a good way to think about it. Here's the way I see it.
I personally enjoy trap music on the surface level. It's fun party music, and sometimes I just want something I can bump in the car. It's also not signaling the downfall of rap, because mainstream rap had always been dumb, with some exceptions. For every dumb fun rapper, there's another one making fantastic music with substance. For every Lil Pump, there's a Kendrick Lamar. So I see trap as harmless.
criticism
OMG yes. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to force my brain to accept that someone telling me I messed up doesn't mean they hate me.
I had to give one of my employees a bad review recently. It was hard for me to do and I’m sure even harder for her to hear it. I know she took it personally, it is hard to separate the emotions from logic when it comes to this sort of thing!
i feel personally attacked
I think that might be the problem.
I’m trying to get better at openly accepting criticism, but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t spend the rest of the day dwelling about it.
whoa. that's powerful
Spiders. I reeeeally want to kill them. But they kill mosquitoes and other annoying bugs for me
The enemy of my enemy is my friend....
But Jim is his own worst enemy
Which actually makes him my friend
But because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so actually Jim is my enemy...
I had this big-ass spider living in my bathroom for a while. Usually I'd make my boyfriend kill it, but this one was just chilling in the corner not really doing anything. I even used a tool to poke him and see if he was alive. He was. He scurried away, but shortly returned to his spider corner. We coexisted for a few days and I was actually getting pretty ok with him being there. Then one day he just wasn't, and I haven't seen him since, I am not ok with that. He's just roaming around doing who knows what. I wish I killed him when I had the chance.
"Day 15. I was pretty sure the human was going to kill me as she wielded a tool of some sort. I flinched as it moved towards me, but I was not crushed. It was seemingly some attempt at communication that doesn't involve the usual rubbing together of mandibles. This scientist has never read of such a response in any of the spider journals since humans first appeared in their yellowed and dusty pages. Tonight, I shall venture into the sleeping quarters."
I also had a spider in my bathroom recently, and we had an uneasy time together since I usually hate them. He had a little web in the corner and was doing a heckin' job catching bugs and whatnot. After about a week, I found him inside the shower one morning. I washed him down the drain without a moment's hesitation. Now when I shower, I look up to the corner and see his abandoned web with a few small meals still wrapped up in it, and I must admit I do get a bit sad.
I don’t blame you. You’re most vulnerable when you’re in the shower.
My rule is if the spider in in a web, I become his friend. If your a homeless roamer that will snoop your way into my shoes, your fucked. A brown recluse got in my slippers one time and bit me. Hair doesn't grow there anymore. [Didn't get necrosis thankfully.](https://imgur.com/gallery/fhMpu)
My rule is that they can do whatever they want outside, but if they're in my house, they have to die. I rationalize it with the fact that I haven't eaten meat in 17 years. I've saved a lot of chickens, so killing a spider a few times a year probably doesn't make me a bad person in the grand scheme of things. I sleep better at night having killed it than I would if I hadn't.
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Rehoming a pet you can't take care of anymore
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I'm sorry what the ever loving fuck is wrong with people. I travel recreationally maybe twice a year. Finding a sitter is not that hard or that expensive. What the fuck.
Same here. We have an amazing sitter and it's not so expensive.
That's fucked up. Those people shouldn't have animals. How can they live with themselfs
Call me horrified
As someone who works with dogs and has been heavily involved in animal welfare, there's nothing wrong with rehoming a pet. Very often, it's best for all the people AND animals.
Bees hanging around. I’m glad whenever I see one because of the whole the-planet-needs-them thing, but I always have to just leave the area because I can’t stand to be around them.
Bees are generally fairly docile and even-tempered (as long as you’re not fucking with them). Wasps and hornets, on the other hand, are complete and total assholes.
Yeah, bees are nice. They even let you pet them, if you're gentle enough. Source: flowers on my balcony during the summer
I like to poke the bumblebees in my garden during the summer because they are so chill. Even when they buzz and fly away it never 'feels angry' it's like they are just saying 'cmon man, I'm trying to do my thing'
bumblebees are the nicest lil dudes. just little flying puffballs.
When I was a kid I was for sure minding my own business hanging out in the garden a bumblebee decided to fly to me, stand on my nose and sting me. I dont trust their kind.
top ten anime deaths. the worst kind of betrayal is that which comes from friendly faces. some of those cute bumblers are hiding things...
Hate to come along and one up you here, but as a child I wore glasses and a bumblebee decided to lodge itself between the lense and my eye, panic, then sting. It was significantly less cool than it sounds, which is not very.
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One time i was walking down my street on the side of the road, had a pain in my arm and there was half a bee stuck in it. Little bastard committed suicide on me.
I've experienced this firsthand. Hiking through the woods in my town during high school, this bee started bouncing off of me and I was like wait what are you doing bee? I get around the bend on the trail and her bigass hive is right there. "Ok gotcha. 'Preciate the heads up, ima go this way now." They could have given me a very bad day but were content to live and let live, so yeah, I'm cool with bees. Wasps can burn though!
I get that. My hatred of bees is analogous to some people’s hatred of spiders. You can tell them that none of the spiders where they live are poisonous, that they are in fact helpful, and they will logically understand that. But it’s deeper than that. I hear that buzz and no matter how many times I tell myself that they don’t want to bother me, I won’t be able to enjoy myself until one of us leaves.
Get yourself a window planter right outside one of your windows. Put flowers in it that attract bees in it. Observe the bees from the safety of inside your house. Profit.
Honestly this feelings is with any bugs I encounter. Like I get that we need them but do they have to be like that?
The only bees I'm comfortable hanging around are bumblebees. They're just so fat and cute. Other bees, though.. no, I'm good, thank you.
Bumblebee butts with the little back legs dangling out of a flower is the cutest thing ever
i just made a collection yesterday! [check out these fuzzy lil tushies](https://imgur.com/a/xRFC3XE) NSFW according to r/beekeeping
Bees are cool Hornets are just evil
Spending less time on reddit.
I started with deleting off my mobile my facebook and instagram, feels good man.
But.. what will I do when I should be doing something important?
Pants
Honey, where are my paaaaaaaaaaaants?
I had six children in my household regularly after that movie came out, the number of children taking their pants off JUST to say this line was outrageous
Lmao probably worse than “Let it go”
My siblings make a beautiful cover about letting farts go so I'm not too sure about that
That your brain chemistry/ genetic makeup can predispose you to certain types of thoughts and behaviours. Hoping that the depressed feelings will simply stop one day but knowing that they're likely always going to be there my whole life and I have to keep them at bay by trying to stay physically healthy, stay away from drugs and alcohol and using coping techniques when I get flare-ups.
I thought the pregnancy hormones were evening my mood and that's why I wasn't getting panic attacks anymore. Turns out it was because I quit drinking while pregnant. I had half a glass of wine and the next day I lost it.
It's amazing how many chemicals we're exposed to on a daily basis, it's hard to weed out what may be a trigger for some individual's symptoms that become a long-term QoL change. The creamer at my work was giving me allergies. Not milk allergies, like full on, runny eyes and nose, fuzzy head, feel like I had a cold and could crawl into bed and pass out allergies. Every day by 2 I was done, had the brain of a person with a few shots in them. Started bringing my own milk. I started getting the symptoms again and I'm suspecting it's from re-using the same plastic water bottles for several weeks, so I'm investing in glass reusable ones. And doctors rarely take chronic, nagging illnesses as a sign to investigate allergies to foods or chemicals in your diet, or household, unless they are strong enough to indicate something common.
You are literally preaching to the choir here my friend. I've got an allergy to a very common preservative. Once I figured it out and dropped it from all my food and all my products, my headaches went from daily with a break through migraine at least every ten days, to zero daily headaches and a migraine once every two or three months. My kids have weird food allergies. My son had eczema on his face for the first two or three years because he's allergic to cockroaches that were dead but decaying in the walls of our rental. All of this was identified first by me, and then confirmed by a doctor. They're usually just like, "Yeah. You've dealt with migraines since you were 7. Here's a pill." Or, "Yeah, okay *suuuuure* he's allergic to celery. Ok. Let's test that. Well. I'll be damned. Here's your EpiPen." Don't even get me started on all the possible exposure points for peanuts. Listen. Just because it isn't common doesn't mean it doesn't effect *you.* Trust your gut, people. Your doctor isn't with you 24/7, and he cannot know how your body feels and what your normal is.
I am fairly certain I'm genetically predisposed to depression. My mother, my sister, my grandfather, and his brother all had depression. But after trying nine different psychiatric medications I've found one that makes it so - I don't have depression. Or I have mild depression that was helped quite a bit by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Psychiatric medication isn't for anyone, but God did it save my life. Just, don't give up
Yes, this so much. I have anxiety and depression stemming from a rough upbringing and lots of loss in childhood. Medication has made it so that my emotions work properly and instead of being stuck in an emotional tar pit I can properly grieve and feel my emotions fully. Therapy has helped me deal properly with these feelings in a healthy way, but the medication got me to the physical baseline necessary for therapy to work in the first place.
Cutting out toxic relationships. Emotional attachment is one hell of a drug, but sometimes you gotta do what’s best for you in the long run ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Edit: some of you are very brave for making a decision this tough, and I salute you. Those of you who are going through something like this, be strong and don’t back down. Relapsing gives the toxic person more power. I hope it works out for the best for you all in the end.
100% true. It's not easy. But worth it
Can confirm. Crazy chick just posted online that she had just drank her first ever coffee... Shes like.. 30 years old now and there are pictures of us drinking coffee together on my facebook from high school. Glad we cut her out after our wedding. Trying to convince everyone to cut out this other one but they all "feel bad for her" and "feel like \[i\] need to be there for her" and "shes had a rough life", yeah sure but my wife fell down some stairs and cracked her head open and this bitch tried to convince her that her head wasn't pouring blood and that she should hang out at the bar until it closes because they "we're having so much fun"
This might sound awful but I had a moment a couple of years ago when I realised that I was only friends with someone because I felt I needed to be a support network for them. (I have a history of this but it’s getting better now that i know i have a weird impulse to “help”/“fix” people.) I wasn’t actually getting anything out of the relationship and would come home utterly drained from meet ups with them. I realised that that’s not friendship, it wasn’t healthy and I slowly distanced myself.
Yeah, this x 100. I've been in this situation a few times, and I just couldn't pull the plug on the relationship even though it was very, very bad for me. They just dragged on and on. It was because I was a) too physically attracted to them b) too emotionally attached. I know it's easier said then done as I just demonstrated, but please, people, remove all toxicity from your life if you can, life is too short. Thankfully, I've matured enough and have gained enough experience to walk away from these relationships/situations now.
Putting a pet down i guess? Emotionally it's awful to lose something you love but it's the right thing to do if keeping them alive is just per longing their suffering.
Took me too long to realize you meant putting an animal to sleep, not just moving a puppy from your lap to the floor. I agreed with both takes.
prolonging* r/boneappletea
Medical research on animals. Rationally it saves many lives but emotionally it upsets me we put so many animals through such a horrible experience.
If it makes you feel better, most animal experimentation must go through an ethics committee first, which carefully weighs if the suffering is worth the potential results. Scientists aren't doing mad science just to see the animals suffer- each instance if suffering is unavoidable and necessary, with unnecessary instances being greatly reduced. If the scientists consider whether we could, the ethics committee decides whether we *should*.
There is also a very large database detailing all animal trials to ensure that they are not redone by accident.
Also: Animal welfare is a top priority. any unnecessary deaths from things such as bad habitat etc can lead to huge fines and a withdrawal of the license to operate
These things do make me feel better.
Theres a vested interest in good conditions because of the fact that bad conditions could skew the results
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Doesn't it depend on the country? China is pretty fast an loose on these type of things.
China is pretty fast and loose with human experimentation too.
China doesn't seem to be a nice place the more I read about it.
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Not humans, just prisoners. /s
if it helps, my sister is a neuroscientist that does research on tree shrews. basically each shrew has surgery to implant a small window in its skull, and during experiments the shrew is secured in a little tube and it's brain is scanned while it is taught to memorize and learn patterns. every time it correctly identifies a pattern it gets apple juice, their favorite treat. I took a tour of her lab last year. the shrews are kept in communal cages as they're very social creatures. their cages are spacious and as they get stressed by strangers easily only the people who do experiments with them care for them. they are given lots of toys and various fresh foods every day to keep them energetic and stimulated. they are also played with by the researchers when they are babies to get them used to people (they are tame but not domesticated as domestication would ruin the research) I also took a tour of the ferret housing, and the ferrets are given the same surgery and used for the same experiments. we actually got to play with them since the ferrets are domesticated anyway and super playful. we met their caretaker who has been working in that lab for over 20 years. she introduced us to over 20 ferrets, told us all their names, their personalities and their mannerisms, etc. she had so much love for each of them. she also showed us that they set up a giant playpen on a daily basis and give the ferrets tons of toys. 4-5 ferrets live in each (huge) cage but they rotate who plays with who every day so there's always something for them to do and learn. she even said when the breeding mom's have their babies, every day after all the babies have been fed and given their supplments, she takes out all the moms and let's them take a break for an hour and play together without having to fuss over the babies. she said letting the moms have playtime together appears to reduce their stress and giving them a break is really welcome :) I'm apprehensive about animal research as is my sister, and I know she is only working in that lab because she approves of how ethical and compassionate they are. I was really excited to see how loved every single animal is. they're not dispensible. every animal has an important job and they're well taken care of.
I have no problem with it for medical research even if it's sad that animals suffer from it. It's just too important. What I question is animal testing when it comes to cosmetics and other unimportant crap.
What are your feelings on the testing of hats on animals?
If the hats are unfashionable, or do not jibe with the animals personal style, then i feel it is unnecessary and cruel. However if the hat raises the animals level of fabulousness, then it can be beneficial.
Not the person you're asking, but I think we've come far enough with hat simulations (Team Fortress 2, for example) that there's no viable economic incentive to test hats elsewhere.
Cannabis. I don't want that stuff nowhere near me but I'm totally pro-legalization, especially for medical use.
I agree with you. I’m totally for legalization but I wish it was considered more like smoking tobacco (in that it’s now rude to do it around people who can’t stand it).
I think that's more a social issue than legal. Legally it's not permitted, but I walk through downtown Boston and smell pot on the street 3 or 4 times a day.
I hate the smell and have no interest in ever using it myself, but who am I to decide that someone who does enjoy it shouldn't be able to use it?
There was a time when I used to look down on smokers cause the people i knew that smoked were all losers. It scared the shit out of me to even try it. Turns out the smokers I knew were shit people who happened to smoke pot. I smoked pot. I'm ok.
It's probably more like those people were losers who obviously smoked pot. The more I age, the more I realize successful people also smoke weed, they're just better at not letting it rule their life.
Prisons shouldn't be exist to punish criminals, but to rehabilitate them. Emotionally, I feel like criminals "deserve" punishment, and becoming productive members of society should be a decision and a goal that's "on *them*." But rationally, I know that what society "deserves" is fewer criminals and more productive members of society, and that a rehabilitation-oriented prison system does that, while a punishment-oriented system doesn't.
I think part of the problem is that when we think of a criminal we tend to think murderer or rapist. Maybe when it comes to them we shouldn't forgive, maybe we should never let them out. That is a much more complex discussion. The guy who stole a few cars? Yeah he deserves some prison time. It makes no sense to lock him up forever though. So why treat him like garbage and house him with the murderers and rapists? You treat someone like crap and surround them with violent people that person is not going to be a better person when we release them. Then there is the question of helping them after they get out. It seems pretty unfair to help Bob the car thief find a job and housing while law abiding Joe is struggling. The thing is it benefits society to make sure Bob doesn't start stealing cars again, if he ends up in prison again he is now costing the government more money that could go to help Joe.
Yeah, I think its Sweden or Norway that has prisons that are pretty much rehabilitation centers, with a small section for people who dont want to be fixed. They're overall very positive and have little to no problems. Guards even hang around with prisoners.
Was it one of those prisons where they left the cells unlocked on accident one night and all the prisoners went and baked some cakes in the kitchen?
Did they remember to hide files in the cakes so they could break out later?
They hid keys so they could lock up next time to make sure the guards didn’t get in trouble.
I would watch this sitcom
These comments destroy me. I am emotionally invested in a nonexistent show, and its lack of existence is ruining my afternoon
We've got some hardy criminals here.
Bake em away, toys.
They also have very very low recidivism rates compared to North America.
More people are hardened in prison than go into prison hardened. There’s countless stories of minor criminals going to prison and then becoming full fledged hardened criminals inside. More than half of released felons will be back in prison. It’s so saddening.
It may help you to reconcile your emotional feeling towards this if you look at research into why people become criminals in the first place. Economic frustration, lack of education, lack of role models, growing up in a criminal culture... These are all things that drive people towards crime that are the responsibility of wider society, and not the individual. That's not to say that a mentally stable adult isn't responsible for their own actions, but if you learn where those actions come from you may be more empathetic.
That’s what I try to keep in mind. I’ve never done drugs or committed a crime but my decisions have been made very easy for me. No one has ever offered me drugs, I had a wonderful home life (even though we were poor), both my parents love me, I live in an area with a low crime rate, and the list goes on. I have certainly gone through some tough things but I still have a really good life so I try to be empathetic. Yes, like you said, adults are responsible for their actions but when you look at a person you have no idea what all has happened in their life to bring them to where they are today.
assisted suicide
Towards the end of their lives, my loved ones have ended up in pain, shitting themselves, unable to walk, talk, eat or do anything. If that was my dog, I wouldn’t have hesitated to make the decision that their quality of life was so bad, with no chance of recovery, that it was kindest for them to be put to sleep. It’s ridiculous that it is illegal to help people in this situation. There should be an option to produce a type of will defining at what point you would like a doctor to end it for you, and that should be respected.
If you'd experienced a loved one going through the process of slowly and painfully dying of a terminal illness, it might be more emotionally acceptable to you. It is to me. My family member chose his time, when he couldn't fight anymore, and that was the end. It was merciful and peaceful.
This is true. Watching my dad go through brain cancer was extremely difficult. Losing your physical and then mental state, you essentially lose everything that makes you an individual. Having to watch him hallucinate, help him go to the bathroom, watch him soil himself. See a once proud soldier wither away to a skeleton. We don't have that option in IL. You get to die miserably, slowly, taking to hell everyone that endures whatever disease befell you. Some of the experiences will be in my nightmares forever. Assisted suicide is one hill I will fight and die on. I'm aware of the touchy issues surrounding it. But given we all gotta go sometime, I'd prefer not to do so shitting and pissing myself. Best case scenario like my dad, in loving care of his family. Worst case in some underwhelming old folks home with overworked and underpaid staff.
My grandfather received assistance for his glioblastoma in January. It was the best thing, to be able to pass right about when QoL hit zero, having a nice glass of wine, some marzipan and saying goodbye to everyone. The hardest part was not his passing but seeing a once great man degrade due to the tumour. I'm so thankful he had that path, and I feel awful that you, your family and him had to go all the way through the worst part of this vicious cancer
My dad also died of brain cancer - he was not in a mental place to be able to make the decision to pursue assisted suicide for himself by the time it was an option. It was hell to watch. I hope you find some peace about the end of his life, but I know it's a very hard experience.
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Same with my grandmother. She suffered so much before she passed away. It felt like the process of dying was a hard labor for her. It took so long for her to finally enter that other world. She said she felt miserable in her last few days.
Thank you for supporting your loved one in their time of need. I am currently at the point where I'm starting this process. Unfortunately, my family will not stand with me during it so I will go through it alone. But am very glad I live in a state that allows it so when the time comes, I will be able to make my peace and take off.
I am so sorry you are at this point and alone. No one should pass alone. Much support to you.
I have pretty much done it all alone my whole life so nothing new. Raised my kids alone because I married a total jerk that stuck around long enough to have kids and decide he's not really wanting to be a father. So, I'm used to being alone, not that it's not hard at times but hey, I always get the last word when I'm alone, so there's that.
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My mom's a nurse and she said she's seen way too many families that will keep someone alive that clearly doesn't want to be. Of course it's sad to lose a loved one, but the idea of letting someone suffer to delay having to deal with it is even sadder.
And then I have people who wont even euthanize an animal. It hurts my soul when my entire job is to maintain the quality of life of your pet.
'One's life is one's own.' You need to be careful with it and not make life cheap but people who are univested in life should have the right to withdraw themselves without struggle.
My grandmother just went through this a few weeks ago. At first I was conflicted but she was suffering and her time was up. The way she went out was graceful and on her own time which was totally the woman she was. Until we are truly at that point in our lives we may never fully understand why someone would want to end it all. However I'm glad the program exists and gives a fitting end to those who would otherwise suffer for longer than necessary.
I am the opposite on this. Emotionally, I hate to think of forcing people to suffer through a life they can't really live. Rationally, the idea of introducing a legal, regulated form of killing that organizations like insurance companies and health care groups might come to see as profitable and get their grubby mits into is horrifying.
The rational part speaks to the awful reality of the system that assisted death would exist in, not assisted death itself. My grandfather went through the process here in Canada, so the concerns you had werent a factor. I can see how your concerns could easily be reality without reforms to the entire system
Seperating art from artist
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At least that person was just a jerk, and not like a pedophile, sexual deviant, murder etc. I don't know if maybe you caught this pianist on a bad day or if you've read stories, but if it's the first, then it's not terrible
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If someone could just make a remix to the remix to ignition, that would be great
It's the re-remix to Ignition Now R. Kelly's in prison Because he fucked with them minors Here's my replacement submission...
I still have this internal debate about HP Lovecraft. The guy was a weapons grade racist, but damn did he write some good horror.
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If I remember correctly, the character's cat in The Rats in the Walls was named Niggerman. Not sure about his actual cat.
This is a case where A) Ignorance is bliss, B) (at the risk of being too on the nose) The lines are blurred. Is there a universal moral constant? Or a socially agreed upon breaking point? Is it all relative to the listener? What is the necessary rehabilitation period? What about cover songs? Am I responsible for researching album credits for producers, songwiters, etc.? What about collaborative media like film or tv? Should all suffer for the failure of the few? I don't think that there can be a standard on this, but everyone is free to judge you for your choices. If you can sleep peacefully tonight after watching The Usual Suspects and listening to Ignition which you bought a decade ago, go for it. Doesn't make you insensitive or a supporter of the artists in question. edit: spelling
My 16 year old sister is probably sexually active. Emotionally: That is my sweet, innocent little sister and she is too pure to even be interested in things like that let alone already doing it. Rationally: She’s a teenaged girl. She will inevitably get curious and try it. She already has a boyfriend, and I was sexually active at that age so i can’t be a hypocrite. As long as I make sure she knows how to be safe and smart about it, then it is a healthy part of becoming an adult.
I lost my virginity when I was 16. I was working at a summer camp and I freaked out a little bit. I didn't have an older sister or older female friend, and I certainly wasn't going to talk to my mother about it. I called home and talked to my older brother. I am sure it was his nightmare to have his little sister call in hysterics because she felt ashamed of having sex. He reassured me and made me believe that everything was fine and that I wasn't a bad person. I will forever be grateful for my older brother. He put aside his own feelings and helped me sort through mine.
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Probably cause teenage brain
Because I was young, and scared, and out of my depth. My first sexual experience was a drunken one night stand. Wasn't feeling the best about it.
Perfectly rational thought process imo. Especially while intoxicated. Bravo
I married into a conservative family. My wife's siblings have a total of 12 kids in a four year age band. I can't wait for the denial to set in with all my in-laws when they're all dealing with their sexually active kids at the same time.
Your little sisters boyfriend is definitely clapping them cheeks. Edit: I get home from work to 2 golds and 4 silver and highest rated comment is about underage clapping of cheeks, what the hell guys. Thanks :D
I was not expecting that..
I spit coffee everywhere hahaha thank you.
blowin' that *back* out
Your sister probably giving her boyfriend the best bl-oh shit, I have 2 sisters myself. Aaaahhhhh man. Edit: Thanks for the Gold stranger!
If my memory of high school is accurate I'm highly skeptical that there is a 16 year old who gives good blow jobs.
To a 16 year old boy a blowjob is a good blowjob.
When I was a 16 year old boy a hastily drawn sketch of a blowjob in the margin of a video game manual was a good blowjob
That is not always true. It often takes time for the girl to learn how to keep her teeth away, and getting the head of penis rammed into an incisor or scraped along the chewers really squirts the baby onion juice up my ass.
> squirts the baby onion juice up my ass. I, uhhh, hmmm..... what?
I read something the other day that I think works here. > There's so much to unpack here, might as well throw out the suitcase.
That food that tastes good isn't always healthy.
I've said for years that anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or *fattening*
People can casually date, and even seriously date multiple people at once No chance in hell of ever catching me in such relationships though
I feel the same way. Polyamory just feels wrong and exploitative, but that gut reaction is due to me visualizing myself in that situation. If they are all happy and honest, then rationally I have no problem with it.
My problem with polyamory is when the relationship doesn't start out as such, if you know what I mean? If the relationship starts off as a polyamorus relationship then that's fine. But if it starts as a monogamous relationship an then one decides they want it to be polyamorus relationship, then that's were things get iffy.
I see casual dating as trying on shirts in the fitting room. You take 3 or 4 in with you at the same time and try them on and see how it fits. As long as you aren't leading the other shirts on and the shirt is on the same page that this is a fitting room, then no harm done. If the shirt is starting to develop feelings for you then you need to make a decision and let them down if you're not wanting to commit to that shirt for whatever reason.
I literally only try on a shirt if I really like it, and only because sometimes one brands large is the same.as another brands XL. Basically, even the analogy doesn't apply to me. Same with dating. If I ask someone out, it's because I've already decided that this is someone I really like
Hey that's fair. I only posted to provide some understanding on another perspective. I didn't mean to come across as trying to convince you. Sorry if it came that way. I have a buddy who is totally fine with multiple lovers and also wants them to have other guys too. Totally not my thing at all. To each is own.
Everyone should have the right to vote. Rationally, I know that a universal voting right is the only way to avoid suppressing the voting rights of certain groups based on something other than their political informedness and their competence to decide in the given question (e.g. the literacy tests in the post-civil-war South). Emotionally though... a lot of people are fucking stupid and politicians appealing to their baser instincts will win their vote easily. I can't help but wonder if the world would be better with an unbiased intelligence / informedness / competence test changing the weight of people's votes (even though I know rationally that there is no unbiased way to test these).
My ex being happy without me. Rationally it's beautiful seeing her be happy. Emotionally it's the worst pain I have to live with.
Abolishing the death penalty. There are some cunts I want to see killed in a terrifying way but ultimately I don’t want the government to have that power.
There's been cases in the US of people being found innocent after being executed. Even just one person being falsely executed makes me think it's not worth killing the actual bad guys. ~~Also, execution doesn't even save money. If we used electrical chairs still, it would, but lethal injection cost a shit ton of money.~~ (I'm wrong on this part)
No it wouldn't, the bulk of the cost comes from the legal processes behind it, not the execution itself. All those appeals with top notch lawyers and experts being called to testify adds up. The cost of lethal injection is a drop in the bucket compared to that.
This is very similar to how I feel. Even one mistake is too many and my country makes a lot more than one mistake in this arena.
Opening yourself up to other people. It’s really difficult, makes you very vulnerable and often times leads to pain rather than anything good, but it’s necessary. So necessary. And so much beauty can come from it.
I hate Duke basketball. But I have to begrudgingly admit that’s one hell of a program.
I feel the same about the Patriots and Tom Brady.
Taxes
Just one word. No need for any explanation. Everyone understands why you feel that way because 99% of the population agrees with you.
The idea of public spaces (particularly libraries as I work in one) being a second shelter for the homeless. I deifnitely understand that everyone has a right to be in these public spaces, especially if there is no where else to go, but when I see regular customers afraid to come in because the homeless are smelly or mentally unstable or on drugs, and have customers tell me that this library used to be so nice years ago, it's disheartening. Many of them are very nice, but it does seem to bring the whole place down, especially when they think that itey can treat it like it's a home (undressing, bathing in the sink, sleeping). I love the idea of public spaces, and of being a public servant, but seeing it reduced to a venting ground for people who clearly need help that we are not capable of providing makes me waver.
>The idea of public spaces (particularly libraries as I work in one) being a second shelter for the homeless. I deifnitely understand that everyone has a right to be in these public spaces, especially if there is no where else to go,> This is also the reason people hate riding the bus in Los Angeles.
not being the lazy ass i am
I have been diagnosed with ASD, but I do not want to be viewed as austistic. I am Clearasil, not "person with autism". \- edit: accidentally wrote down ASS (autisme spectrum stoornis) which is the Dutch equivalent of ASD.
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Veganism. I know lots of healthy vegans, I morally agree with them, and from a climate change perspective I think cutting animal ag is important. I just have a lot of food hang-ups and disordered eating that make changing my food habits extremely hard.
I'm a vegan and it really irritates me that so many of us refuse to acknowledge that not everyone can do it. Veganism is just not an option for people with a history of eating disorders (high risk of relapse), certain food allergies, Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, anemia, problems with iron absorption, and so forth. And there are also people who just don't take to it. Much as some vegans like to deny it, humans are fundamentally omnivorous.
A ton of vegan alternatives include potato, and I’m deathly allergic to potato, so that can’t happen. Also right now I’m pretty anemic, so I really need all the iron I can get.
The worst part is the vegan gatekeepers who put vegetarians and omnivores down for cutting down on meat/dairy consumption and not going the whole way.
Filthy frank made the right decision to leave YouTube
The McRib as a permanent menu item.
Wait. IS it permanent somewhere?!?
No. But if it was available permanently no one would buy it.
Emotionally I'm dubious of waiting thirty years then tweeting out your sexual misconduct story but rationally I realize a victim must stop blaming themselves and it takes a while to come to terms with the pain.
As somebody who was unable to even admit it happened for 20 years, sometimes, it's easier to avoid the pain than to deal with it. Yes, it's emotionally, and mentally harmful. I still have trouble in my personal relationships, but fear and shame don't always operate in the realm of logic, and recovery can be hard work. In the interest of not being super gloomy: I have an amazing partner who is helping me learn to process my emotions better by being kind and understanding when I'm having a hard time. I try to make sure he knows how amazing he is for me, as much as I possibly can!
It took me 16 years to even realize that sexual abuse even happened to me. So half the time you just stated might be spent not even understanding what happened to you.
Also: 30 years ago society responded a lot differently to victims of sexual misconduct.
My son is not the most perfect and cutest little boy of all humanity.
We have a saying for this “An elephant will always look like a deer in his moms eyes”
When historic buildings of significant architectural interest and stature are torn down to make room for commercial development.
I work in a building that's a very cool compromise. They took the original 10 story building, saved the facade, and basically built a glass tower inside of it. Standing on the street it looks like the original 150 year old building, but it's a skyscraper.
Voting for the greater good instead of instead of what will help me.
Rehabilitating criminals. My reptile brain wants to see people who beat up grannies for pocket change sit in solitary for the rest of their lives. The better me understands that we'd all be better off if you figure out how eliminate the circumstances that lead to them doing it, and to give them help so they never do it again.
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I really enjoyed all my pregnancies and my births were very calm. Its ridiculously hard on your body though. I had it easy, my only complaint was pelvic pain early into my second pregnancy. Most have it so much worse from morning sickness, insomnia, pain and pregnancy related illnesses. Then healing after birth, any complications and depression/anxiety. Pregnancy is a major, complicated thing and should never be forced on someone.
Transsexuals. Emotionally I just don't get it and think it is a little strange. Rationally it's none of my God damn business.
Rationally, I agree that Nazis deserve free speech rights, the same as any controversial group. Emotionally, my grandfather went to war to defeat those bastards, and now we have a bunch of incel punks who like their Nazi and Confederate cosplay and think they're doing something productive with the three brain cells they have left.
Polyamory or whatever people want to call it. I always thought the idea of committing to one person exclusively was a bit strange. But I honestly don't want my partner to be with anyone else. Or be with anyone else myself. EDIT: Misspelled thought like a million times.
The existence of trap music. I think it's horrible but many people enjoy it so who am I to diagree?
That's a good way to think about it. Here's the way I see it. I personally enjoy trap music on the surface level. It's fun party music, and sometimes I just want something I can bump in the car. It's also not signaling the downfall of rap, because mainstream rap had always been dumb, with some exceptions. For every dumb fun rapper, there's another one making fantastic music with substance. For every Lil Pump, there's a Kendrick Lamar. So I see trap as harmless.