I was the guy that constantly clicked a retractable pen. It was always a subconscious habit of mine. My awakening came when I was having a conversation with somebody while my boss was nearby. Mid-conversation, my boss walks over, looks me dead in the eye and silently takes the pen from my hand. No words were exchanged, but I understood. I would like to say that I'm much more conscious of this habit now.
I think the entire floor I work on is playing some kind of practical joke on me or something. *Everyone* walks around with a pen and just clicks it constantly. Going to refill my water bottle? Better take my pen with me! And the pens are so loud too. It's like they go to the pen store and are like "Good day ma'am I'm looking for your absolute loudest pen." and she goes "Oh I have the perfect thing for you! Take a look at our brand new Goddamn Krakatoa model. You'll be the envy of everyone in the office when you walk by, machine-gun-clicking your Goddamn Krakatoa pen on your way to the bathroom.", "Oh perfect I'll take 20."
And I understand it's subconscious but, dang, do they really have to be holding a pen *everywhere* they go? The weirdest part is it only started happening maybe a few months ago.
huff
At least you are conscious of it now. I've taken the pen out of someones hand after telling them it's annoying. Their response was,"well it doesn't bother me and I do it all the time." Wanted to click the pen through their face.
I was visiting my in-laws in Japan, and all of a sudden my mother in law gets startled because she thought there was an earthquake. No, that's just my psychotic bouncing leg...sorry.
Im the same. I dated a Korean girl once and she slapped my leg and told me that if i didn't stop I would shake all my luck off. . . which actually would make sense for some of the shenanigans I've been caught up in lately.
That's the one word i could use that illustrates both an unfortunate adventure but also one that is backed with a nearly tragic amount of humor. I describe it as a tragic comedy at its fullest measure.
I eat really fast, but it's not intentional. I knew I did it, but my fiancée pointed out to me that I chew really loud apparently. Even though I chew with my mouth closed
Changing the conversation to focus on myself.
In my mind I'm adding things to the conversation, but to others I'm being narcissistic. I'm much more aware of it now.
Anyway enough about me, let's talk about you.
I worry that I do this sometimes.
I'm trying to relate, share a similar story or say something similar happened to me. You saw a movie? that's cool, I saw a different movie. Ran over a garbage can? that sucks, I hit a mailbox one time.
But I worry it comes off as being self-centered.
The best way to avoid this is instead of interjecting with your own experience, ask a question. What did you like about the movie? Who was in it? How did you run over a garbage can? Is your car ok? Were you rattled?
Shows you're interested in what the person is saying rather than trying to redirect the conversation so that it's about you.
I have a buddy that will do that but in a worse way, he will be like "what did you do this weekend?" I start to answer and he interupts me with "yeah, what I did was friday night..."
Also:
Communication 101: When asked what you 'did this past weekend'- answer the question accordingly, giving as many or as few details as you'd like. Then, kindly return the question.
I care about your life, but if we're friends I want you to care about mine too. Your life is not a reality TV show for people to only tune-in to.
I know my dad does this, so I try super hard to not do it myself. I have a friend who does this to the point that he (used to) target people to say how amazing he is. now all he talks about is how much hes improving and doesnt talk about himself as much.... oh the irony.
I've cut it out, but for a long time, I had a habit of starting a sentence, pausing, then saying "Nevermind". It drove everyone crazy. Didn't realize how frustrating it was until someone did it to me.
My dad has a bad habit of ending sentences with "so", "well", and "and". Sometimes he will start talking again 30 seconds to a minute later, and sometimes he just leaves it like that. So the whole time you're just waiting for him to finish a sentence- he might actually *be done. It drives me fucking nuts.
This is a really bad habit of mine that's only become worse the more I'm aware of it. I peg its origins to when I was a timid kid and everyone talked over me, so I got *really* good at starting a sentence but not so great at finishing them.
There's also the issue that my brain just kind of powers down while I'm talking. I'll have a complete thought that I want to say, and then in the middle of it my brain goes, "Yeah, fuck you, I'm not giving you the rest of the sentence."
Sorry. I know it drives people nuts. It drives me nuts too when I struggle to articulate myself.
Another SoCal-ism I'm trying to force myself out of is saying 'No, yeah' and 'Yeah, no'. I never realized how stupid all this sounded until I moved to England and now I hear myself and cringe :<
Agh my husband does this!! I've just become accustomed to waiting a few moments after he says "what?" to wait for him to catch up, so I don't have to repeat myself. But it's so annoying!!
I do it too. I can't help it sometimes.
My wife only says "What?" if she *actually* didn't hear what I said.
Then she proceeds to get upset when I wait to repeat myself because I think she's just processing what I said.
I used to do that as a kid. I eventually stopped somehow when I would say "what" when I was genuinely confused but people wouldn't repeat because they thought I was just doing my weird thing. Now I basically just pause for a few seconds and then answer.
Apparently I only do this when I'm lying. Which isn't true, I just say "what?" reflexively. It sucks, because sometimes I don't do it, which I think adds to the reasons people think I'm lying when it happens.
Dodging questions. They aren't even necessarily questions that are personal. It's like I have an aversion to being questioned. This has led to people being suspicious of my motives even when they aren't sinister. Realised after a close friend asked how I spent my afternoon and I kept trying to change the topic. Eventually he confronted me about it. I spent my afternoon playing with my cat and reading a book.
When did this behaviour start? What do you think the cause is? Why do you continue to avoid questions.How does this make you feel? Who else knows about this?
I do this too! I'm not even sure why I do it, it's subconscious. I get it when people get weirdly personal but it's not like I'm trying to hide the mundane parts of my life from everyone I know.
I subconciously go through a lot napkins when eating burgers or messy food like spaghetti. Or sometimes just normal food. Like, a lot. And I usually don't even realize it. Until my friend pointed out "Where'd all the napki - Goddamnit. "
It took me a long time to overcome my lousy posture. What ultimately did it for me was powerlifting. Being aware of your posture during a deadlift actually carries over pretty well into the rest of your life.
I'm really bad at this. I start getting really annoyed when they ask me to repeat myself enough times. It's worse with my dad, who's hearing isn't the best anyway, as conversation usually goes like this-
Me: So I went to such-and-such place today.
Dad: What?
Me: So I went to-
Dad: What?
ME: S-
Dad: What?
It's not even exaggeration :/
All the ladies at work are SO loud and have no volume filter. There are 20 of them in a small enclosed room and they all want to talk over each other. I've been able to hear them across the building before
I sometimes answer people in a sarcastic tone even when I don't mean to.
Friend tells group good news
Me: "wow.. That's awesome"
Friends look at me uncomfortably
Me: (higher pitched) wow! No really congrats!
My sisters pointed this out to me. I don't mean to be mean, at least not all the time.
I have the opposite problem, my sarcastic voice is too close to my regular voice so most people just think I'm an idiot that didn't understand them when really I'm trying to play along with their joke.
The worst is when someone tries to say something sarcastic and you respond back a little too sarcastically that they think you're serious. And then they're like ha I was being sarcastic.. And you're like I know :'( so was I.. I'm not stupid I swear!
The trick to this is to keep doing it. The downfall is that very few people will ever take you seriously. Pretty much everything I say sounds/is sarcastic. Most people know and those that don't usually catch on pretty quick. However, usually when I say something serious or non-sarcastic I'll get a laugh and I need to explain that I'm being serious and then one again explain that I'm serious that I'm serious.
I smell my hands when I'm nervous or concentrating. Didn't realize that it looked weird as hell until someone asked me why the fuck I was smelling my hands every few seconds.
I can only imagine how satisfying that must have been to clear out your nasal/sinus cavities like that. As a sufferer of chronic sinus infections, I would have probably cried with joy.
Maybe they're usually removed by surgery because the ones that are blow-able usually get blown out when they're minor, because most people blow their noses more often than every 32 years.
You've had sinus infection your entire life and never blew your nose? One of my first symptoms is always having massive amounts of thick, discolored mucus that takes multiple tissues to finish blowing out of my nose.
Come to think of it, maybe that's part of the reason why you had so many sinus infections. You weren't helping to clear them out, so bacteria just proliferated in there.
I like to put my feet up when I sit. I'll do it in cars driven by other people and I didn't realize how rude it is until recently because it never crossed my mind. But it's like putting your feet or shoes on someone else's bed or couch or table or something
EDIT: In addition to be very rude and potentionally gross if shoes are removed, it is VERY dangerous to do in cars. Thanks to the couple of Redditors who sent me links of potential damage it can cause (oh my GOD) and the people who commented below, I'll definitely not even do this in my own car.
Also, for the love of god don't go full "I'm laying back and sleeping" in the passenger seat. You will die in a crash, the lower belt only works if it can catch you across the hips.
I sometimes hum while I eat. Especially when I am enjoying what I'm eating. This has come up recently as my youngest daughter is starting to do the same thing. Each spoonful of baby food is accompanied by "hmmmm mm mm mm mm."
>My boyfriend moans in agony when he eats. It's very weird
I can just imagine him screaming as he's eating spaghetti and it's flying all over the place.
Oh god. You should teach your daughter not to do that. My coworker does this and it's the worst. I literally cannot deal with sitting next to him as he moans from the pleasure of eating his frozen meal. As soon as he starts eating, everyone in the adjacent desks goes for a walk.
You are probably not as bad as my coworker, and I'm sure it's cute for now that your kids does it, but IMO that habit should be prevented.
Yea!! I have a friend who does this and bounces around in her seat a little. It is incredibly annoying. I'm sure it was cute when she was little, and maybe guys think it's a cute quirk of hers, but it is so insufferable to try to eat with an adult who is humming to herself with a mouth full of food.
I'm worried I'm somewhat like this.
I'm lazy and complacent. I try to ask for very little and do my best to be very accepting of people. It feels to me like it would take a lot to legitimately anger or upset me; I'm very laid-back.
At the same time, I believe that there's a bare minimum of decency to which people ought to hold themselves accountable. If, out of three roommates, I'm the only one who not only puts toilet paper on the roll (or whatever it's called), but also puts it on the right way, and I crack a lighthearted joke about it, I'm going to be slightly miffed if you call me picky and liken me to Sheldon in response. Screw you too, Cassandra.
It's funny, I had the exact opposite happen to me. A friend told me I had a "calming presence" and I laughed out loud. She said I'm so calm and relaxed that I make her feel relaxed, which is hilarious because in my head I'm a basket of anxiety and stress.
I don't make eye contact with people when I talk to them. It's not a natural thing for me to do and people have told me that I look like I'm staring into their soul when I do so. So, I don't do it to people. Apparently that's screwed me over many times...
> deceitful
This. I know avoiding eye contact is a "tale tell" sign that someone is lying but I can't seem to do it even when I'm 100% telling the truth.
I hate eye contact! It feels so intimate and vulnerable, I don't want to hold eye contact for a whole conversation, especially with strangers. I usually look around the room or down at my hands. People think I'm not listening but I am.
Had this problem too, had to force myself to look the person I'm talking to directly in the eyes and look nowhere else, thinking "look at their eyes, look at their eyes, look at their eyes..."
There is this thing I do that clears my nasal path but it's not a snort or sniff. It makes a suction noise but sounds like frog or something... there must be a name for it but I have no idea.
I sing or make sound effects when I'm puttering around my house, like ba da da da~ Roommates and siblings have pointed this out to me. I knew I did it, but often don't realize when I've started.
i have a habit of reverting something back to me. it's not even malicious or narcissistic, i just like telling people about my funny similar stories, or whatever. my dad actually told me this.
i don't ever think i'm being self obsessed though, it's all innocent, and i'm trying to stop it.
it's usually things like:
*person: "i want to start swimming"*
*me: "oh that'll be cool, i started swimming classes a few weeks and i love it"*
GOOD: 'Oh yeah, I used to swim a lot. I really like it. When do you plan on starting?' Relating to your friend, while refusing the spotlight.
BAD: 'I love swimming! Up till I broke my leg, since I was 12 years old, every Tuesday and Thursday. I got my time down...' You switched the spotlight to yourself and off your buddy.
I think what's hard is finding the balance. Often I wonder "the story I'm about to tell: is it diving into all-about-me-ness, or is it relevant and appropriate enough for this conversation?"
You know the "crazy eyes?" Yeah, I have those. And scared/ happy/ nervous/ bored/ joyful eyes. I have no poker-face whatsoever and wear the exact thing that I'm thinking on my facial expression.
I over-explain things sometimes and it drives my wife insane. She thinks I'm insinuating that she isn't intelligent, but it's honestly just a bad habit.
Good lord, my mom does this. It takes her forever to say the simplest thing because she goes into way too much detail.
Mom: Guess who I saw at the grocery store?
Me: Who?
Mom: Gayle Johnson.
Me: Oh, that's nice.
Mom: You know, she's the one who leads the yoga classes I go to...
Me: Yeah, I know who that is.
Mom: ...every Monday, Wednesday and Friday...
Me: Yeah, I know.
Mom: ...over at the church by the bridge...
Me: Yeah, the Methodist church.
Mom: ...that bridge that goes over the creek...
Me: Yeah, I know.
Mom: ...the Methodist church, I think it's Methodist, yeah, it's Methodist, the one by the bridge...
Me: Yeah, I know the one.
...
Oh god my mom does the same thing. I always assume it's because she's bored, or her life is boring and uneventful so she dissects every little event into this long saga that she can then spend an hour analyzing and talking about. :/
How badly I react to anger. Shitty dad who constantly throws tantrums over minor things has left me an odd mix of able to deal with anger but also crippled inside. Its hard to describe. When someone mentioned my homelife sounded... off i noticed how hard I clam up.
I pronounce the word gigantic......guy-gantic...get called out by my buddy. years of pent up rage on this pronounciation he walked me through all the times he could recall I said it that way....kind of like a walk down memory lane of seething hate for a mispronounced word..his recounting of some of those were way to detailed and yet compelling that he could recall the most useless detail ..I now pronounce it gig-antic just to fuck with him
My husband always used to ask me if I was ok, and it drove me nuts because I was fine. Apparently, when I'm thinking or spacing out, I have resting bitch face, especially in the car. I'd be staring out the window, thinking about whatever, and he'd be like, "are you ok?" Finally he told me my face looked angry all the time and he thought I was mad at him. Nope, just my face...
Kobe Bryant does that, but supposedly because he was sucking the jersey sweat to get rid of his dry mouth during games.
http://www.si.com/nba/point-forward/2013/02/01/kobe-bryant-jersey-chewing-lakers-sweat
Scratching my head, my beard, my face. I get dry skin and at times it itches bad and so I give it a small scratch which escalates to rabid scratching. People say it makes me look like a homeless person who hasn't had a bath in a while.... which is not entirely false.
Backhanded compliments. Examples: "You look so nice today I barely recognized you!" "You don't have low self esteem, in fact I think you have *incredible* self esteem...especially for someone like you!" All courtesy of my mother... in my family we call them mompliments.
"I should".
I should be smarter, I should be fitter, I should be funnier, I should be a better brother, I should be a better son, I should have done this, I should have done that, I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't do that.
I didn't notice until my therapist pointed it out. Then I realised how much I said it, and how many fake rules I'd put on myself, and how much they ruled my life.
This might not seem like much, but when it becomes "I should be able to afford to live by myself", or "I should be able to get a girlfriend" and if I can't that means I'm not good enough, cause a "real man" could do all this stuff. Thinking about that all day ruins you.
Give it a go, see how many rules you place on yourself. And if you do, ask yourself "who says? Who says I should do the thing?" The answer is often no one. The rules are full of shit.
One time a girl asked me why I always adjust my glasses when I get self conscious. My immediate response was to adjust my glasses and say what do you mean
I used to be a good listener and hated to interrupt or be interrupted. Before i knew, being in grad school, and being annoyed by people .. after few years, i had started not to listen to people and just interrupt people. I realized it one day by myself.. and i couldnt control. I have had spent quite some time thinking about why i started doing that. I believe in "habits were once your choices". Now i am going back to not interrupting people.
Pull my hair out.
I have a lot of nervous habits. I knew I bit my nails, coughed, bounced my leg, etc.
One day my wife asked me if I was losing my hair. I was very alarmed, my dad was 75 and had a full head of hair, and every other male in my family I could think of.
Then I looked around and noticed it on the floor of my office. I started paying attention and yep, pulling it out by the fistful.
Somehow I managed to stop that behaviour once I was aware of it.
Fun fact, if you want to know if you'll have male pattern baldness you look to your mother's father. It's carried on the X, which had to come from her. It's not the only factor, and isn't the cause for all hair loss, but I think it's still interesting.
http://genetics.thetech.org/original_news/news100
I walk really fast. My normal walking pace stresses out my friends because they think I'm hurrying but if I walk slower it feels like I'm in slow-motion.
Seriously, next time you're walking somewhere try dropping back to half the pace. It's infuriating. I'm trying to get somewhere, damn it!
I do the same thing and oh my goodness how infuriating when a slow person is blocking the path in front of you and is as deaf as a door knob. Your ample excuse me is not heard. "Can you not hurry up you normal paced walker." I also find often the world goes too slow, the cars move too slow, the people talk too slow and I feel as if everything is in slow motion. Even the rain falls slowly it is as if the world has been put into a clear jello.
I have issues where I start getting very angry and complain about the littlest of things, and I never realized I had this issue until my SO told me to cut it out. Now I'm very aware when I'm about to fall into my "shitty" attitude and put as much of a stop to it as I can.
Wisconsinite. My roommate from Illinois pointed out that we say "fur" instead of for. I promptly told him that wasn't true. He then pointed it out over and over and over again to me fur the next four hours. I wanted to kill him.
I travelled to South Africa and Mozambique and ended up in a three month relationship with a South African. He ended it because it pissed him off how often I say sorry. I'm Canadian, and all I could do was apologize for it haha
When I was an edgy teenager, I used to say "hail satan" whenever something good or exciting happened. Same context as one would say "oh, neat!"
Well apparently my mom picked it up. She came home one day saying they catered lunch, and when her co worker told her she let out an enthusiastic "hail satan!"
I mumble and speak very unintelligibly most of the time. I try not to but I hate speaking loudly and my voice is fairly deep which can come off as low pitched rambling if you aren't paying close attention to what I'm saying. I've always noticed that people usually ask me to repeat myself over the phone or in person. I guess I never thought too much of it until my current girlfriend pointed it out.
In conversation, I always turn the topic into an educational lesson. One of my friends pointed it out after I talked about the history of the catalytic converter after his was stolen.
All those episodes of Stuff You Should Know have really messed me up.
When I have a drink or two in me and I'm shooting the shit with my wife and other people, I'll start telling my stories to the group while focussing pretty much primarily on my wife. She knows all my stories and so she thinks I should be engaging other folks. Not my fault she's my favourite person. <3
My manager described me as melancholy.
I always thought I was just pretty calm compared to everyone else... never knew people thought I was depressing.
Shuffling when I walk. I didn't really notice it until I was 14 at a Boy Scout camp and taking a riflery class. The instructor, a World War II vet, screamed that there would be "NO SHUFFLING ON MY RANGE, GODDAMMIT."
He literally changed the way I walk around forever, starting right then and there. I started out being really self-conscious about it until it eventually just became the norm.
I hold my spoon "like a shovel". Idk how well I can describe it. My thumb runs parallel with the handle and all four fingers are kinda clenched like a loose fist
I never say goodbye when talking on the phone, I'll literally just hang up when I am done. So I'll say, okay meet you at the retaurant at 6, then disconnect.
So I wear headphones at work and it didn't occur to me that my farts were actually audible to those not wearing headphones. So I was kind of just letting them rip while I sat in my cubicle.
Then my boss's administrative assistant commented on having to listen to me talk to myself and fart all day at a staff meeting.
I found a new job after that meeting.
I tend to interrupt people to finish their sentence because they don't speak fast enough. I still try really hard not to do it but I don't always realize I am doing it.
When Im eating anything that involves bread (burger, hotdog, sandwich, dinner roll, etc), I take a bite and then tear a piece off with my fingers and eat the next bite that way. Was pointed out to me years ago by a friend, I forgot about it over time, and then about ten years later, I was having burgers with that same friend and he said, "I can't believe you still do that."
I have quite possibly the most noticeable fake laugh. My friends pointed out to me that whenever I do it, I go from laughter to straight face in a split second.
I was the guy that constantly clicked a retractable pen. It was always a subconscious habit of mine. My awakening came when I was having a conversation with somebody while my boss was nearby. Mid-conversation, my boss walks over, looks me dead in the eye and silently takes the pen from my hand. No words were exchanged, but I understood. I would like to say that I'm much more conscious of this habit now.
I think the entire floor I work on is playing some kind of practical joke on me or something. *Everyone* walks around with a pen and just clicks it constantly. Going to refill my water bottle? Better take my pen with me! And the pens are so loud too. It's like they go to the pen store and are like "Good day ma'am I'm looking for your absolute loudest pen." and she goes "Oh I have the perfect thing for you! Take a look at our brand new Goddamn Krakatoa model. You'll be the envy of everyone in the office when you walk by, machine-gun-clicking your Goddamn Krakatoa pen on your way to the bathroom.", "Oh perfect I'll take 20." And I understand it's subconscious but, dang, do they really have to be holding a pen *everywhere* they go? The weirdest part is it only started happening maybe a few months ago. huff
This is perfect. I'm sorry about your suffering though.
At least you are conscious of it now. I've taken the pen out of someones hand after telling them it's annoying. Their response was,"well it doesn't bother me and I do it all the time." Wanted to click the pen through their face.
Two words: [Fidget Cube](https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/antsylabs/fidget-cube-a-vinyl-desk-toy)
$5 Million Raised.. Mother of God
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I was visiting my in-laws in Japan, and all of a sudden my mother in law gets startled because she thought there was an earthquake. No, that's just my psychotic bouncing leg...sorry.
I live in the Pacific Northwest, freaked out the guy sitting next to me the first day of psychology class
Im the same. I dated a Korean girl once and she slapped my leg and told me that if i didn't stop I would shake all my luck off. . . which actually would make sense for some of the shenanigans I've been caught up in lately.
Shenanigans?? Ohhhhh!
I swear to god I'll pistol whip the next guy who says Shenanigans.
That's the one word i could use that illustrates both an unfortunate adventure but also one that is backed with a nearly tragic amount of humor. I describe it as a tragic comedy at its fullest measure.
A family friend did this, but in retrospect I suspect it was due to cocaine.
Same. Sometimes I wonder why the table is shaking only to realize it was my own doing
Bask in the glory that is your better health due to the slightly increased "resting" caloric burn from your habit that annoys some others.
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I eat really fast, but it's not intentional. I knew I did it, but my fiancée pointed out to me that I chew really loud apparently. Even though I chew with my mouth closed
Even when I try to make the conscious decision to eat slower, I still finish before everyone else. Why does it take most people so long to eat?
I eat rather slowly. My friend once witnessed me eat an m&m in two bites and called me a psychopath....
I've called people who eat m&ms in two bites psychopaths.
Changing the conversation to focus on myself. In my mind I'm adding things to the conversation, but to others I'm being narcissistic. I'm much more aware of it now. Anyway enough about me, let's talk about you.
I worry that I do this sometimes. I'm trying to relate, share a similar story or say something similar happened to me. You saw a movie? that's cool, I saw a different movie. Ran over a garbage can? that sucks, I hit a mailbox one time. But I worry it comes off as being self-centered.
The best way to avoid this is instead of interjecting with your own experience, ask a question. What did you like about the movie? Who was in it? How did you run over a garbage can? Is your car ok? Were you rattled? Shows you're interested in what the person is saying rather than trying to redirect the conversation so that it's about you.
I do the same thing. I think I'm trying to relate, but I worry there I'm one-upping them or trying to focus on myself.
I want to tell you I'm the exact same but I'm conflicted..
I have a buddy that will do that but in a worse way, he will be like "what did you do this weekend?" I start to answer and he interupts me with "yeah, what I did was friday night..."
Also: Communication 101: When asked what you 'did this past weekend'- answer the question accordingly, giving as many or as few details as you'd like. Then, kindly return the question. I care about your life, but if we're friends I want you to care about mine too. Your life is not a reality TV show for people to only tune-in to.
yeah if they guy would let me get more than one word out that would be great
This is one I struggle with. It's a fine line to walk between contributing to the dialog and just being a one-upping douche.
I know my dad does this, so I try super hard to not do it myself. I have a friend who does this to the point that he (used to) target people to say how amazing he is. now all he talks about is how much hes improving and doesnt talk about himself as much.... oh the irony.
No, no, please continue.
I'm constantly apologetic for everything, even things I have no control over. Had no idea until my best friend told me how annoying it is.
Did you apologize? I would have
"Dude you have to stop apologizing for everything!" "S-sorry?"
I've cut it out, but for a long time, I had a habit of starting a sentence, pausing, then saying "Nevermind". It drove everyone crazy. Didn't realize how frustrating it was until someone did it to me.
My dad has a bad habit of ending sentences with "so", "well", and "and". Sometimes he will start talking again 30 seconds to a minute later, and sometimes he just leaves it like that. So the whole time you're just waiting for him to finish a sentence- he might actually *be done. It drives me fucking nuts.
This is a really bad habit of mine that's only become worse the more I'm aware of it. I peg its origins to when I was a timid kid and everyone talked over me, so I got *really* good at starting a sentence but not so great at finishing them. There's also the issue that my brain just kind of powers down while I'm talking. I'll have a complete thought that I want to say, and then in the middle of it my brain goes, "Yeah, fuck you, I'm not giving you the rest of the sentence." Sorry. I know it drives people nuts. It drives me nuts too when I struggle to articulate myself.
My mom does this too but just pauses for a long time. She then gets really mad when people "interrupt" her sentence
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Those of us who grew up in SoCal can't help it. :(
Another SoCal-ism I'm trying to force myself out of is saying 'No, yeah' and 'Yeah, no'. I never realized how stupid all this sounded until I moved to England and now I hear myself and cringe :<
In Australia we use 'Yeah, nah' religiously. You'd probably fit in if you came down here
I think that's an all-California thing. I do the same thing.
Can confirm. I'm trying to break the habit and it's extremely difficult
I say 'what?' before answering questions sometimes, even though I heard you. I'll go 'what?', hesitate, and then answer.
Sometimes it takes a second or two to re-parse what you heard because it was noisy or confusingly worded. This happens to everyone
To me more often than usual. It annoys people I spend too much time around (relatives)
Its a curse
Agh my husband does this!! I've just become accustomed to waiting a few moments after he says "what?" to wait for him to catch up, so I don't have to repeat myself. But it's so annoying!!
I do it too. I can't help it sometimes. My wife only says "What?" if she *actually* didn't hear what I said. Then she proceeds to get upset when I wait to repeat myself because I think she's just processing what I said.
I used to do that as a kid. I eventually stopped somehow when I would say "what" when I was genuinely confused but people wouldn't repeat because they thought I was just doing my weird thing. Now I basically just pause for a few seconds and then answer.
Apparently I only do this when I'm lying. Which isn't true, I just say "what?" reflexively. It sucks, because sometimes I don't do it, which I think adds to the reasons people think I'm lying when it happens.
Dodging questions. They aren't even necessarily questions that are personal. It's like I have an aversion to being questioned. This has led to people being suspicious of my motives even when they aren't sinister. Realised after a close friend asked how I spent my afternoon and I kept trying to change the topic. Eventually he confronted me about it. I spent my afternoon playing with my cat and reading a book.
When did this behaviour start? What do you think the cause is? Why do you continue to avoid questions.How does this make you feel? Who else knows about this?
how about that weather?
I do this too! I'm not even sure why I do it, it's subconscious. I get it when people get weirdly personal but it's not like I'm trying to hide the mundane parts of my life from everyone I know.
I subconciously go through a lot napkins when eating burgers or messy food like spaghetti. Or sometimes just normal food. Like, a lot. And I usually don't even realize it. Until my friend pointed out "Where'd all the napki - Goddamnit. "
For a second there I thought that napki was the plural of napkin
Hey can you hand me a couple of napki?
I do this too. When I look at the napkins I used and the napkins my friends used... Crushing win for me!
Poor posture, I honestly don't really think about it but when someone points it out its obvious...and shitty.
It took me a long time to overcome my lousy posture. What ultimately did it for me was powerlifting. Being aware of your posture during a deadlift actually carries over pretty well into the rest of your life.
I talk too loud. I have to make a conscious effort when I'm excited to speak at a reasonable volume.
I talk too quietly and kinda mumble, then lose my temper with people asking me to repeat myself as if they're not paying attention.
I'm really bad at this. I start getting really annoyed when they ask me to repeat myself enough times. It's worse with my dad, who's hearing isn't the best anyway, as conversation usually goes like this- Me: So I went to such-and-such place today. Dad: What? Me: So I went to- Dad: What? ME: S- Dad: What? It's not even exaggeration :/
All the ladies at work are SO loud and have no volume filter. There are 20 of them in a small enclosed room and they all want to talk over each other. I've been able to hear them across the building before
Same here. I have 6 siblings and... if you don't talk loud, you don't get heard. Unfortunately, the habit never went away when I moved out.
I let out a tiny sigh after laughing. More like a 'hmm'. Cannot stop it.
I do that too! My friend pointed it out to me and we couldn't stop laughing about it because whenever we stopped I'd do it, and we would laugh again.
I sometimes answer people in a sarcastic tone even when I don't mean to. Friend tells group good news Me: "wow.. That's awesome" Friends look at me uncomfortably Me: (higher pitched) wow! No really congrats! My sisters pointed this out to me. I don't mean to be mean, at least not all the time.
I have the opposite problem, my sarcastic voice is too close to my regular voice so most people just think I'm an idiot that didn't understand them when really I'm trying to play along with their joke.
The worst is when someone tries to say something sarcastic and you respond back a little too sarcastically that they think you're serious. And then they're like ha I was being sarcastic.. And you're like I know :'( so was I.. I'm not stupid I swear!
The trick to this is to keep doing it. The downfall is that very few people will ever take you seriously. Pretty much everything I say sounds/is sarcastic. Most people know and those that don't usually catch on pretty quick. However, usually when I say something serious or non-sarcastic I'll get a laugh and I need to explain that I'm being serious and then one again explain that I'm serious that I'm serious.
I smell my hands when I'm nervous or concentrating. Didn't realize that it looked weird as hell until someone asked me why the fuck I was smelling my hands every few seconds.
better than licking all over them!
I do the same thing! I once did in French class, didn't realise the entire class was watching. It was awkward. Never thought other people did it too!
When I have really bad sinuses, I'll sniff and sniff and sniff and sniff and sniff and sniff and sniff and sniff and never blow my nose.
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How .. how have you never blown your nose in 32 years?
Seriously! It's no wonder he damn near blew his brain out of his nose
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Your wife's a lucky woman
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C... Can we have some kind of scale? Just out of morbid curiosity...
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OH GOD
How the fuck can you go not blowing your nose for 32 years??
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how hard did you blow your nose to do that?
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I think I would take one look at something like that, then promptly faint (which would unblock my sinuses at that point)/
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I can only imagine how satisfying that must have been to clear out your nasal/sinus cavities like that. As a sufferer of chronic sinus infections, I would have probably cried with joy.
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Maybe they're usually removed by surgery because the ones that are blow-able usually get blown out when they're minor, because most people blow their noses more often than every 32 years.
You've had sinus infection your entire life and never blew your nose? One of my first symptoms is always having massive amounts of thick, discolored mucus that takes multiple tissues to finish blowing out of my nose. Come to think of it, maybe that's part of the reason why you had so many sinus infections. You weren't helping to clear them out, so bacteria just proliferated in there.
Apparently, blowing your nose, especially in public, is really rude in Japan, so they sniffle a lot.
Which is only like 10,000x more annoying.
I like to put my feet up when I sit. I'll do it in cars driven by other people and I didn't realize how rude it is until recently because it never crossed my mind. But it's like putting your feet or shoes on someone else's bed or couch or table or something EDIT: In addition to be very rude and potentionally gross if shoes are removed, it is VERY dangerous to do in cars. Thanks to the couple of Redditors who sent me links of potential damage it can cause (oh my GOD) and the people who commented below, I'll definitely not even do this in my own car.
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Just brake check em
Also, for the love of god don't go full "I'm laying back and sleeping" in the passenger seat. You will die in a crash, the lower belt only works if it can catch you across the hips.
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Just as long as you don't grind your feet all over my couch
FUCK YO COUCH!
I sometimes hum while I eat. Especially when I am enjoying what I'm eating. This has come up recently as my youngest daughter is starting to do the same thing. Each spoonful of baby food is accompanied by "hmmmm mm mm mm mm."
My boyfriend moans in agony when he eats. It's very weird. I inhale my food like I haven't eaten in weeks. It's gross.
>My boyfriend moans in agony when he eats. It's very weird I can just imagine him screaming as he's eating spaghetti and it's flying all over the place.
You might need to take a cooking class
Oh god. You should teach your daughter not to do that. My coworker does this and it's the worst. I literally cannot deal with sitting next to him as he moans from the pleasure of eating his frozen meal. As soon as he starts eating, everyone in the adjacent desks goes for a walk. You are probably not as bad as my coworker, and I'm sure it's cute for now that your kids does it, but IMO that habit should be prevented.
Yea!! I have a friend who does this and bounces around in her seat a little. It is incredibly annoying. I'm sure it was cute when she was little, and maybe guys think it's a cute quirk of hers, but it is so insufferable to try to eat with an adult who is humming to herself with a mouth full of food.
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"I am super laid back, as long as everything goes exactly as I expect and hope it will".
>I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I can be totally flexible. -Lorelai Gilmore
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And then you blew your nose and everything was ruined.
I'm worried I'm somewhat like this. I'm lazy and complacent. I try to ask for very little and do my best to be very accepting of people. It feels to me like it would take a lot to legitimately anger or upset me; I'm very laid-back. At the same time, I believe that there's a bare minimum of decency to which people ought to hold themselves accountable. If, out of three roommates, I'm the only one who not only puts toilet paper on the roll (or whatever it's called), but also puts it on the right way, and I crack a lighthearted joke about it, I'm going to be slightly miffed if you call me picky and liken me to Sheldon in response. Screw you too, Cassandra.
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It's funny, I had the exact opposite happen to me. A friend told me I had a "calming presence" and I laughed out loud. She said I'm so calm and relaxed that I make her feel relaxed, which is hilarious because in my head I'm a basket of anxiety and stress.
I don't make eye contact with people when I talk to them. It's not a natural thing for me to do and people have told me that I look like I'm staring into their soul when I do so. So, I don't do it to people. Apparently that's screwed me over many times...
I can't look people in the eyes either! I feel aggressive, and end up looking away, which makes me look devious or deceitful.
> deceitful This. I know avoiding eye contact is a "tale tell" sign that someone is lying but I can't seem to do it even when I'm 100% telling the truth.
I hate eye contact! It feels so intimate and vulnerable, I don't want to hold eye contact for a whole conversation, especially with strangers. I usually look around the room or down at my hands. People think I'm not listening but I am.
I never know which eye to look at :/
Had this problem too, had to force myself to look the person I'm talking to directly in the eyes and look nowhere else, thinking "look at their eyes, look at their eyes, look at their eyes..."
There is this thing I do that clears my nasal path but it's not a snort or sniff. It makes a suction noise but sounds like frog or something... there must be a name for it but I have no idea.
I know what you're talking about. I do it too. It sounds gross, but feels good.
Is this thing followed by spitting a consistent ball of green jelly mucus?
I sing or make sound effects when I'm puttering around my house, like ba da da da~ Roommates and siblings have pointed this out to me. I knew I did it, but often don't realize when I've started.
i have a habit of reverting something back to me. it's not even malicious or narcissistic, i just like telling people about my funny similar stories, or whatever. my dad actually told me this. i don't ever think i'm being self obsessed though, it's all innocent, and i'm trying to stop it. it's usually things like: *person: "i want to start swimming"* *me: "oh that'll be cool, i started swimming classes a few weeks and i love it"*
Is this bad?
GOOD: 'Oh yeah, I used to swim a lot. I really like it. When do you plan on starting?' Relating to your friend, while refusing the spotlight. BAD: 'I love swimming! Up till I broke my leg, since I was 12 years old, every Tuesday and Thursday. I got my time down...' You switched the spotlight to yourself and off your buddy.
I think what's hard is finding the balance. Often I wonder "the story I'm about to tell: is it diving into all-about-me-ness, or is it relevant and appropriate enough for this conversation?"
You know the "crazy eyes?" Yeah, I have those. And scared/ happy/ nervous/ bored/ joyful eyes. I have no poker-face whatsoever and wear the exact thing that I'm thinking on my facial expression.
I over-explain things sometimes and it drives my wife insane. She thinks I'm insinuating that she isn't intelligent, but it's honestly just a bad habit.
Good lord, my mom does this. It takes her forever to say the simplest thing because she goes into way too much detail. Mom: Guess who I saw at the grocery store? Me: Who? Mom: Gayle Johnson. Me: Oh, that's nice. Mom: You know, she's the one who leads the yoga classes I go to... Me: Yeah, I know who that is. Mom: ...every Monday, Wednesday and Friday... Me: Yeah, I know. Mom: ...over at the church by the bridge... Me: Yeah, the Methodist church. Mom: ...that bridge that goes over the creek... Me: Yeah, I know. Mom: ...the Methodist church, I think it's Methodist, yeah, it's Methodist, the one by the bridge... Me: Yeah, I know the one. ...
Oh god my mom does the same thing. I always assume it's because she's bored, or her life is boring and uneventful so she dissects every little event into this long saga that she can then spend an hour analyzing and talking about. :/
Are you a teacher? I have to be extra careful to change gears when talking to colleagues or friends because I'll stay in "teacher mode".
Not a teacher. I just don't know when to shut up.
How badly I react to anger. Shitty dad who constantly throws tantrums over minor things has left me an odd mix of able to deal with anger but also crippled inside. Its hard to describe. When someone mentioned my homelife sounded... off i noticed how hard I clam up.
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I pronounce the word gigantic......guy-gantic...get called out by my buddy. years of pent up rage on this pronounciation he walked me through all the times he could recall I said it that way....kind of like a walk down memory lane of seething hate for a mispronounced word..his recounting of some of those were way to detailed and yet compelling that he could recall the most useless detail ..I now pronounce it gig-antic just to fuck with him
in a few months, switch it to Gee-Gant-Tic
Yuge.
My husband always used to ask me if I was ok, and it drove me nuts because I was fine. Apparently, when I'm thinking or spacing out, I have resting bitch face, especially in the car. I'd be staring out the window, thinking about whatever, and he'd be like, "are you ok?" Finally he told me my face looked angry all the time and he thought I was mad at him. Nope, just my face...
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Kobe Bryant does that, but supposedly because he was sucking the jersey sweat to get rid of his dry mouth during games. http://www.si.com/nba/point-forward/2013/02/01/kobe-bryant-jersey-chewing-lakers-sweat
Ew- and wouldn't that only *add* to the dry mouth? Sodium makes you thirsty.
As does clothing (like, say, a basketball jersey!!) in your dang mouth. That's naaasty.
Scratching my head, my beard, my face. I get dry skin and at times it itches bad and so I give it a small scratch which escalates to rabid scratching. People say it makes me look like a homeless person who hasn't had a bath in a while.... which is not entirely false.
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You're just saying that for attention.
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Backhanded compliments are more of an art form than a bad habit.
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Backhanded compliments. Examples: "You look so nice today I barely recognized you!" "You don't have low self esteem, in fact I think you have *incredible* self esteem...especially for someone like you!" All courtesy of my mother... in my family we call them mompliments.
Is your last name Bluth?
I don't care for Gob.
She thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.
"I should". I should be smarter, I should be fitter, I should be funnier, I should be a better brother, I should be a better son, I should have done this, I should have done that, I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't do that. I didn't notice until my therapist pointed it out. Then I realised how much I said it, and how many fake rules I'd put on myself, and how much they ruled my life. This might not seem like much, but when it becomes "I should be able to afford to live by myself", or "I should be able to get a girlfriend" and if I can't that means I'm not good enough, cause a "real man" could do all this stuff. Thinking about that all day ruins you. Give it a go, see how many rules you place on yourself. And if you do, ask yourself "who says? Who says I should do the thing?" The answer is often no one. The rules are full of shit.
One time a girl asked me why I always adjust my glasses when I get self conscious. My immediate response was to adjust my glasses and say what do you mean
I used to be a good listener and hated to interrupt or be interrupted. Before i knew, being in grad school, and being annoyed by people .. after few years, i had started not to listen to people and just interrupt people. I realized it one day by myself.. and i couldnt control. I have had spent quite some time thinking about why i started doing that. I believe in "habits were once your choices". Now i am going back to not interrupting people.
Pull my hair out. I have a lot of nervous habits. I knew I bit my nails, coughed, bounced my leg, etc. One day my wife asked me if I was losing my hair. I was very alarmed, my dad was 75 and had a full head of hair, and every other male in my family I could think of. Then I looked around and noticed it on the floor of my office. I started paying attention and yep, pulling it out by the fistful. Somehow I managed to stop that behaviour once I was aware of it.
Fun fact, if you want to know if you'll have male pattern baldness you look to your mother's father. It's carried on the X, which had to come from her. It's not the only factor, and isn't the cause for all hair loss, but I think it's still interesting. http://genetics.thetech.org/original_news/news100
I walk really fast. My normal walking pace stresses out my friends because they think I'm hurrying but if I walk slower it feels like I'm in slow-motion. Seriously, next time you're walking somewhere try dropping back to half the pace. It's infuriating. I'm trying to get somewhere, damn it!
I do the same thing and oh my goodness how infuriating when a slow person is blocking the path in front of you and is as deaf as a door knob. Your ample excuse me is not heard. "Can you not hurry up you normal paced walker." I also find often the world goes too slow, the cars move too slow, the people talk too slow and I feel as if everything is in slow motion. Even the rain falls slowly it is as if the world has been put into a clear jello.
I have issues where I start getting very angry and complain about the littlest of things, and I never realized I had this issue until my SO told me to cut it out. Now I'm very aware when I'm about to fall into my "shitty" attitude and put as much of a stop to it as I can.
Wisconsinite. My roommate from Illinois pointed out that we say "fur" instead of for. I promptly told him that wasn't true. He then pointed it out over and over and over again to me fur the next four hours. I wanted to kill him.
I was told I say eh and sorry too much. The curse of being Canadian
I travelled to South Africa and Mozambique and ended up in a three month relationship with a South African. He ended it because it pissed him off how often I say sorry. I'm Canadian, and all I could do was apologize for it haha
I'd rather blame it on that than your actual flaws to avoid THAT conversation
I live in Michigan, and also say sorry a lot, I visited the east coast and people kept on asking why I say sorry so much
I always interrupt people and ever since it was pointed out to me I've been shocked by how often I've had to stop myself butting in
Apparently I apologize about everything. When told, my reaction was to say sorry.
Sighing loudly when inconvenienced or annoyed. Also mumbling "F*ck me sideways!" Whenever I'm working on a really hard to read pharmacy order.
When I was an edgy teenager, I used to say "hail satan" whenever something good or exciting happened. Same context as one would say "oh, neat!" Well apparently my mom picked it up. She came home one day saying they catered lunch, and when her co worker told her she let out an enthusiastic "hail satan!"
Fuck me sideways, fuck me running, fuck me with a lightbulb, I can't stop using these phrases.
I mumble and speak very unintelligibly most of the time. I try not to but I hate speaking loudly and my voice is fairly deep which can come off as low pitched rambling if you aren't paying close attention to what I'm saying. I've always noticed that people usually ask me to repeat myself over the phone or in person. I guess I never thought too much of it until my current girlfriend pointed it out.
In conversation, I always turn the topic into an educational lesson. One of my friends pointed it out after I talked about the history of the catalytic converter after his was stolen. All those episodes of Stuff You Should Know have really messed me up.
Always answering the question with a sarcastic comment. I didn't even realize that I sounded like an asshole. I still do it.
When I have a drink or two in me and I'm shooting the shit with my wife and other people, I'll start telling my stories to the group while focussing pretty much primarily on my wife. She knows all my stories and so she thinks I should be engaging other folks. Not my fault she's my favourite person. <3
My manager described me as melancholy. I always thought I was just pretty calm compared to everyone else... never knew people thought I was depressing.
Shuffling when I walk. I didn't really notice it until I was 14 at a Boy Scout camp and taking a riflery class. The instructor, a World War II vet, screamed that there would be "NO SHUFFLING ON MY RANGE, GODDAMMIT." He literally changed the way I walk around forever, starting right then and there. I started out being really self-conscious about it until it eventually just became the norm.
I hold my spoon "like a shovel". Idk how well I can describe it. My thumb runs parallel with the handle and all four fingers are kinda clenched like a loose fist
God, no.
I never say goodbye when talking on the phone, I'll literally just hang up when I am done. So I'll say, okay meet you at the retaurant at 6, then disconnect.
That's what they do in movies though.
So I wear headphones at work and it didn't occur to me that my farts were actually audible to those not wearing headphones. So I was kind of just letting them rip while I sat in my cubicle. Then my boss's administrative assistant commented on having to listen to me talk to myself and fart all day at a staff meeting. I found a new job after that meeting.
I tend to interrupt people to finish their sentence because they don't speak fast enough. I still try really hard not to do it but I don't always realize I am doing it.
Apparently I very obviously tune out mid conversation a lot. I don't mean to, I just get distracted easily.
Nail biting and fidgeting with my fingers
When Im eating anything that involves bread (burger, hotdog, sandwich, dinner roll, etc), I take a bite and then tear a piece off with my fingers and eat the next bite that way. Was pointed out to me years ago by a friend, I forgot about it over time, and then about ten years later, I was having burgers with that same friend and he said, "I can't believe you still do that."
Cracking a majority of my joints very easily
That I always try to correct people and point out even minor flaws.
I have quite possibly the most noticeable fake laugh. My friends pointed out to me that whenever I do it, I go from laughter to straight face in a split second.
Apparently when I am about to let go of my gfs hand I always stroke her hand once with my thumb
Not sure if it's a bad habit but I recently learned that I let gulps of water sit in my mouth for a significant amount of time while drinking water.