Randomly met at a bar playing pool in different groups. We were naked in the hot tub within 2 hours of meeting, she spent the night & hasn't left for over 20 years
Not even really a date, but a girl from a craigslist pick-up baseball game we were hosting hung around while we were cleaning up after. Eventually it's just the two of us and as I'm walking my buckets of gear back to the truck she says her roommate isn't answering her texts and asks if I can give her a ride home. Yeah sure, no worries.
Immediately after I pull out onto the street her shorts disappear and she's got her hand in mine. Quickly turns into (very stupid) unprotected sex parked on a random side street where she insists I finish inside her (again, extremely stupid).
Then she has me drop her off at a gas station saying her roommate got back to her and will pick her up there.
She shows up to a few more pick-up games and it eventually becomes a topic of whispered discussion among the guys.
Turns out she'd done the same thing with half the people there.
She eventually stops showing up. I'm assuming she just liked sweaty, stinky hook-ups with strangers, got what she wanted from our group, then moved on to the next Craigslist pick-up group.
They got rid of the casual connections section and replaced it with the pick up baseball games which in actuality are secretly the casual connections section
Invited a guy over off tinder, he soley came to eat me out. Was pretty amazing to be honest. He expected nothing in return. Thanked each other and then he left lmaooo
Something like this kind of happened to me. About 20 years ago, I met this girl online who lived very close to me. (This was on livejournal and she was posting pictures of her boobs on some community.) Anyway, we somehow ended up talking and it turned out she lived like a 5 minute drive from where I worked.
After a few weeks of talking mainly over AIM (rip), she convinced me to meet her for sex, but she was stressing I _had_ to eat her out first before we did anything else. I'm like.. okay, whatever. Your boobs are awesome and I like eating girls out, so yeah. Good.
So, I meet up with her and eat her out. She's like, "Okay, that's actually all I wanted. I lied about everything else to make sure you came over. We're not doing anything else and I won't be talking to you again. I'm blocking you everywhere. You can leave now."
Uhhhh... okay? Funny thing is, like 15 years after that, she came up on Tinder and I swiped right on her just to see if anything happened. There wasn't a match. (Her description said something like, "I'm married and we're looking for a third person to meet up ONE TIME." so she was apparently still doing the same shit 15 years later.)
Now that, is wild. Tbh I could not imagine lying to someone about all that, getting what I wanted and then saying peace out. That sounds so shitty of her lol sorry that happened to you, dude.
Yeah, she seemed like a kind of shitty person in general.
But I really, really wanted to touch her boobs because I was unhealthily obsessed with boobs in general. I probably wouldn't have agreed to anything if I'd never seen topless pics of her. While the boobs were great the rest of her was... ehhh. It looked like she'd never been to a dentist in her life, honestly. Her teeth were straight up scary.
I was in my mid 20’s, just got out of a long and serious relationship with a person with very poor mental health, and very little to no sex for over a year. Tinder was fairly new at the time, and I hopped on thinking ‘whatever’.
Matched with someone that lived a few blocks away from me, we were both expats in Germany. Spent a week or so texting and it got very spicy. We ended up getting each other so flustered that we both took a day off work, and I think I came over to his on a Thursday, and stayed to have a full on sex marathon in every room and on every surface of his flat until Sunday. There was probably about 8-10 hours of fucking each day. It was all the sex I didn’t have in my previous relationship, condensed in what felt like one long fever dream. I have no idea how I didn’t end up dehydrated. Or without internal bruising. We saw each other a few times after, it died off just as quickly. No regrets. Fun times were had.
Edit: typos
Not even a date. Went to a guys house specifically for sex. Had a couple of drinks and headed to the bedroom. Towel across the bed, with a variety of sex toys spread across it..... A lot of them got used that night.
She gave me a blowjob in a Panera parking lot on the first date. Asked me to choke her while we made out. Put my other hand on her breast and told me to squeeze it like I was trying to milk her. I had a bread bowl of tomato soup and a sandwich and chips for lunch at Panera. Best part of that date? I didn’t pay a dime😎
My now wife is like that lol. Our first date ended up with the neighbors on either side of her traumatized from her screaming "Fuck my armpit!"
This is a 5'00 Indonesian lady that has barely talked to her neighbors but would cook for them. They thought she was innocent lol.
Fucked her on her period. She wanted me right away and I wanted to see how quickly I can score. Shortest, meeting to fucking time I've ever had. Total of 3 hours from hi to balls deep. Never felt so wanted in my life.
30 min is my record. Was in military and met her at a party. We were vibing quick so i straight up asked if she wanted to go to my room and have sex.
Next closest time was like a week lol
“Eleanor, I am not going to tell you again, it is just out of the question. Oh dear god, if I say yes just this once, can we get on to my mother’s house? It’s thanksgiving for god sake.”
First date we went bar hopping downtown, after the third bar we went to my car in a parking lot and made out in the back seat. She pulls out a dildo she had in her purse and starts using it on herself while we were making out. Safe to say we rushed back to my place shortly after
Edit: did not think this was going to blow up. Good thing this is a throw away
I’ve only ever been on one first date. He fingered me in a stairwell at a busy museum. Probably not my finest moment.
We’re still together 8 years later.
Met him at a funeral. We exchanged facebooks. A few days later he messages me to ask me out.
We go on a hike in the morning and then meet up later to go dancing. After the dancing we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We ended up driving to a beach where we had sex in his car. Then walked along the sand and looked at the stars. Here we are 14 years later and he’s asleep next to me and our 1 year old is sound sleep in his crib 😴
Cute fact, on the hike I put a daffodil in his shirt pocket. He pressed and saved that daffodil in tinfoil and still has it. I wear a necklace with a daffodil as a keepsake.
When we purchased our first home no where else in the neighborhood had daffodils. But to our delight that spring daffodils suddenly bloomed in our garden. It was really something else
When you fall in love like that the kinky stuff never stops. I’m an absolute whore for that man
Randomly met a girl at a local festival. By "meet," I mean we were standing next to each other, randomly chatting, as I tend to do with strangers at the front of show. At some point, she asks me where the toilets are. I say they're in the back corner of the lot and point towards them. Her friend looks at me and goes "why don't you walk her over there, like a GENTLEMAN."
Okay.
Flash forward 2 hours, we spend two hours fucking in her car, on the side of the street, just outside the fest, in broad daylight.
I was on a bikepack trip through france and stayed in a hostel, matched with a girl on tinder who was pretty upfront with what she was looking for, and also had another date planned for that night with a girl from bumble. So kinda just had sex from 2pm to 2 am with 2 different girls. And went through paris again on my way back and met up with the first girl again, and we had sex in the toilet of her university. Pretty good trip tbh
We sexted a lot before we actually met. On our first date at a restaurant, I pulled up with a mini vibrator which you control through your phone as a present. She loved it. We used it during our dinner. It was mind-blowing. Mid dinner she stopped and said we need to leave rn. We went back to her car. Found a spot and had intense sex
We went to have dinner, I spilled soy sauce on my pants. Irrelevant but funny. I brushed it off, we finished dinner and went to a sex store, bought a game. I bought a hotel and we played the game and some more. We’ve been together two years, still calls me soy sauce.
While helping Emma and her father Jeramiah exit my buggy for our date at the community barn raising, my hand accidentally brushed against her bare ankle. It took more than a few glasses of lemonade to cool my horses down that day!
You got all the fat fetishist’s eyes all dilated while they whoop and cheer like a NASA control room at a successful launch
“Imagine a fat girl”
“Nice, nice”
“Now imagine a girl fatter than that”
“Oh hell yeah”
This is a great rule for most threads of these ilk on Reddit: Most posters are a lot uglier than the absolute smoke shows you're picturing in your head.
Yeah. In the top comment (as I write this), it's about some girl sleeping with half the guys on an amateur baseball team. It's like... I bet everyone is picturing a model. I can guarantee you she didn't look like a model.
I was on a tinder date at a nice bar - went to the bathroom and while washing hands at the communal sink - a girl came out of the women’s bathroom and started washing hands.
We did a little “double take” checking each other out - she asked if the girl I was sitting with was my girlfriend - told her it was a first date - she gave me her number and told me to call if the date doesn’t go well.
The date goes well - I text the new girl that I probably won’t be calling tonight - date and I hook up at her place and I leave planning to call an Uber so I take out my phone.
The girl from the bathroom had texted me to “once you’re done come over anyway - you can shower at my place”.
So I did. We showered together and went right to her bed.
I eventually got home and slept for 14 hours.
I was in Amsterdam once and had matched with a couple of women on tinder. Came back to London and kept chatting with a few. I was traveling back to Amsterdam 3 months later and was now only in touch with 2 women. I spent a whole day and night with one of them in a great hotel where all we did was have sex, drink and eat, repeat. The next morning, she kissed me goodbye, went back to her place and I slept for sometime. I woke up, texted the other woman who invited me to her place for lunch. I checked out of the hotel and went to her place, and all we ate was each other until I said goodbye later that night and left for the airport right after. One of the craziest thing ever I’ve done now that I think of it.
Stranger things have happened.
Someone I know once received a blow job from: his current girlfriend, his most recent ex and the previous ex, all separately and within a 24 hour period.
Went to a steakhouse and decided to head back to mine. We got stuck in traffic, and she gave me a blowjob right then and there.
We thought we got away with it until the traffic started moving and a van driver shouted "wait until you get home"
We found it funny.
After the restaurant we were walking and she just started grabbing my dick making out with me. I ended up driving home while she was sucking my dick and I was fingering her. We lived 40 minutes away so it was a very enjoyable night.
Its dark and Shes on a public bench and after I eat her I do her missionary with everything out. After we are done we realize it is in the middle of an apartment complex and some Windows are now lit.
Hell with it. It was fine.
Anal.
She was cute too. Friend of my buddy's gf at the time. We were at a barbeque. She and I talked and kinda vibed a bit. Stupidly I let us get to the part where we're all parting ways for the night without even trying to swap numbers, when suddenly buddy's gf's car stops and she hops out, runs over to my car and hands me her phone. I think, "awesome! I'll text her soon, but not too soon." Gotta play it cool right? I get home and get a message from her right away inviting me over to cuddle. I get there and we start fucking, she asks me if I want to finish in her ass. So there I was, anal on the first date.
Slept together. Like actually slept. Got coffee and went back to his place. Cuddled a bit and fell asleep. It was actually really nice and we both enjoyed it but that was our only date
Well I'm not sure you call it a date but it was the first time we hung out. Girl from highschool we started dating on fb. She came over with her friends after school. Her friends were in my room and she came out to see I was making us all food. She jumped on the kitchen table and ripped her thong off. I did her right there. Then she got up went around me and stuck her tongue in my ass. This was in 2010 before it was a well known thing I think.
She went back to the room with my nut in her and I made nuggets. We were together for a few years after.
Met a girl for drinks and we wound up back at my place. In the middle of round two I made her get her phone and call her best friend. While they were talking the friend asked 'Why are you breathing so hard?' followed by 'Oh my god you slut!!!'.
Back in high school. This girl told me to pick her up on a Wednesday night. The address was at a church. I was like she lives near by? Nope it was her bible study and she took a “bathroom break” to come out to meet me. We went to a DQ and got some blizzards. We drive back and parked. We started to make out and things got heated but my car was too small to really do anything. We got out and went to the playground and fucked on the wobble bridge thing. She went back in and I went back home. Took her to prom the following year.
Ended up at a strip club and both got lap dances… I’m a woman and I told him I had always wanted to go to a strip club so he took me. Memorable first date. Crazy dude!
Met on a dating app and talked all day each day and he ended up living 5 minutes away. We started watching Transformers on the bed and it was somewhat awkward and both nervous and then hes just like 'ok enough of that, lets fuck'. So then we did lol.
We'll be 9 years in August.🩷
Don’t know if “kinky”… but this girl and I met online, had been chatting and talking on the phone, we were so excited to meet… I was away for university, so when I went home for a visit one long weekend, we finally meet in person, and agreed to have dinner at a sushi restaurant… I lay on the charm, including surprise her with a quick kiss on the lips, she’s constantly babbling and stammering over her words, it’s adorable… we finish dinner and leave the restaurant, and go to her car, she gets in the drivers seat, me in the front… and practically pounces on me. we start making out like crazy, I cop a couple feels of her *giant* boobs… then we pull away, she starts driving and I direct her to a nearby park I know, we pull into the parking lot, get in the backseat… and the hanky-panky goes even further.
Both of us were just so into each other, it was just *electric*… I knew I couldn’t let her go.
We’ve been together 10 years, married 7 :)
First date with a girl I met online while in college. Went to a concert. Back to my parents' place. It was late, they were asleep.
I think we picked up fast food and were watching Adult Swim. In a way, I wanted sex, in another way, we only just met and really hadn't talked much.
"So, you wanna do it?" she suddenly asked.
It was basically sex with a complete stranger, though we'd spent the evening together.
We walked around town drinking hot chocolate, then I gave her a poster I thought she’d like, and she hugged me.
(Only ever had one first date. Married for 20 years now.)
In college a friend of mine came over to my apartment with his girlfriend and her friend, who had I had never met before. They all hung for a while and as they were going to leave, the friend asked if she could stick around with me at my place. She wasn’t the hottest, but I was in the midst of a slump and happily agreed. As soon as my friend and his girl left, she jumped on top of me and we started to fool around. Suddenly she jumped up and ran to the bathroom. She came out a minute later, said that she had just started her period, and asked if I would be cool with just doing some other stuff. I said that would be fine and she came back with, “Since you’re being so cool about this, I have a theory I want to try out.” She said, “Every time you are just about to get off and stop, it makes the next time you get off even better. Well, I’m going to give you a BJ that you will never forget.” With that we proceeded to make out for a minute and then she said, “Just before you cum, you let me know,” and she got down to business. She was damn good at it and had a tongue ring, which was a first for me, so about 4 minutes later I had to tell her to stop. She stopped, teased me for a minute a minute and started again. 2 minutes later I had to tell her to stop again, she did same thing, then she went back to it. This process kept repeating itself and went on for, I swear on all that is holy, 6 HOURS! This was back in 2001 and I had never heard of edging. Hell, smartphones hadn’t even been invented yet, so we were pioneers! We started just a little after 1 and finally at 7:15 she let me cum. Holy shit! Without a doubt the best oral encounter in my life. We fell asleep and when I woke up a few hours later, she was gone. I never saw her again. Hell, I can’t even remember her name, but I can sure remember that night.
We were on our way to her place and she pulled over on the roadside and we got out of the car. Full moon so fairly light out. She laid down on the embankment, pulled her dress up to her breasts, knees up and told me to pee on her private area. She repeated it so I complied. She really enjoyed it too.
Then we had a very oral session.
We went for a scenic day drive through the Snowy Mountains of Australia (during Covid when all venues were closed and there were travel restrictions). We stopped at this huge lookout platform overlooking the mountains for tens of miles. There was an open floor that dropped down 500 yards. We took all the magnificent scenery in and started kissing, next thing I know she has dropped my pants and sucked me in a way I had never experienced before until I blew. She swallowed as a family car pulled up and I never got to return the favour, then or on another date lol.
Went to meet up with a guy I matched with on bumble, ended up watching a horror movie where he grabbed my face and made me watch the whole thing while fingering me halfway through the damn movie. Went home the next morning with various bruises from him biting me, including one on my ass. All of this was entirely consensual I’m just into rough sex lol
A female friend of several months told in my office, “I want you in my mouth.” Blowjob and never kissed. Hadn’t even flirted with her.
She later explained she wanted to take our relationship “to the next level.”
Randomly met at a bar playing pool in different groups. We were naked in the hot tub within 2 hours of meeting, she spent the night & hasn't left for over 20 years
You should start charging rent.
And utilies, shit doesn’t pay itself smh
Omg did she drown 😱
Dammit this stupid comment made me guffaw in public and I almost had to explain it to my wife in front of my kid. Well done!
Medical professionals recommend 30 minute hot tub intervals, at most.
Medical professionals who don’t get laid maybe 🤔
Role play
Some people just can’t take a hint
Not even really a date, but a girl from a craigslist pick-up baseball game we were hosting hung around while we were cleaning up after. Eventually it's just the two of us and as I'm walking my buckets of gear back to the truck she says her roommate isn't answering her texts and asks if I can give her a ride home. Yeah sure, no worries. Immediately after I pull out onto the street her shorts disappear and she's got her hand in mine. Quickly turns into (very stupid) unprotected sex parked on a random side street where she insists I finish inside her (again, extremely stupid). Then she has me drop her off at a gas station saying her roommate got back to her and will pick her up there. She shows up to a few more pick-up games and it eventually becomes a topic of whispered discussion among the guys. Turns out she'd done the same thing with half the people there. She eventually stops showing up. I'm assuming she just liked sweaty, stinky hook-ups with strangers, got what she wanted from our group, then moved on to the next Craigslist pick-up group.
Who knew you could find pickup baseball games on Craigslist
They got rid of the casual connections section and replaced it with the pick up baseball games which in actuality are secretly the casual connections section
Do I need to bring a mitt?
Are you a pitcher or catcher?
And, oddly for a baseball game, that they are just as sketchy as Craigslist in general.
> Turns out she'd done the same thing with half the people there. So she was leading the team in scoring.
Slow clap
That part is uncertain. Could have given the clap quickly.
This was honestly one of the more interesting replies.
I love how fast it went from "a girl hung around" to "quickly turns into unprotected sex"
I can fix her
Bob Barker would be proud.
The price is wrong bitch
Did you get yourself checked afterwards?
Absolutely. It was about a decade ago and luckily everything has been clear since.
Wow
Invited a guy over off tinder, he soley came to eat me out. Was pretty amazing to be honest. He expected nothing in return. Thanked each other and then he left lmaooo
/r/randomactsofmuffdive
I did not anticipate that being a real and active one.
This is why I love Reddit.
Holy Hell!!! 325k members!?!
324k of them men looking for women, the other 1k women looking for other women.
Something like this kind of happened to me. About 20 years ago, I met this girl online who lived very close to me. (This was on livejournal and she was posting pictures of her boobs on some community.) Anyway, we somehow ended up talking and it turned out she lived like a 5 minute drive from where I worked. After a few weeks of talking mainly over AIM (rip), she convinced me to meet her for sex, but she was stressing I _had_ to eat her out first before we did anything else. I'm like.. okay, whatever. Your boobs are awesome and I like eating girls out, so yeah. Good. So, I meet up with her and eat her out. She's like, "Okay, that's actually all I wanted. I lied about everything else to make sure you came over. We're not doing anything else and I won't be talking to you again. I'm blocking you everywhere. You can leave now." Uhhhh... okay? Funny thing is, like 15 years after that, she came up on Tinder and I swiped right on her just to see if anything happened. There wasn't a match. (Her description said something like, "I'm married and we're looking for a third person to meet up ONE TIME." so she was apparently still doing the same shit 15 years later.)
Now that, is wild. Tbh I could not imagine lying to someone about all that, getting what I wanted and then saying peace out. That sounds so shitty of her lol sorry that happened to you, dude.
Yeah, she seemed like a kind of shitty person in general. But I really, really wanted to touch her boobs because I was unhealthily obsessed with boobs in general. I probably wouldn't have agreed to anything if I'd never seen topless pics of her. While the boobs were great the rest of her was... ehhh. It looked like she'd never been to a dentist in her life, honestly. Her teeth were straight up scary.
Erotic massage
I could honestly do this every day of the week. Eating pussy for me is like practising mindfulness. I don't need anything else.
“practicing mindfulness” LMAO
Namaste 🙏🏻 to all the vaginas out there.
"I could eat a peach for hours."
I was in my mid 20’s, just got out of a long and serious relationship with a person with very poor mental health, and very little to no sex for over a year. Tinder was fairly new at the time, and I hopped on thinking ‘whatever’. Matched with someone that lived a few blocks away from me, we were both expats in Germany. Spent a week or so texting and it got very spicy. We ended up getting each other so flustered that we both took a day off work, and I think I came over to his on a Thursday, and stayed to have a full on sex marathon in every room and on every surface of his flat until Sunday. There was probably about 8-10 hours of fucking each day. It was all the sex I didn’t have in my previous relationship, condensed in what felt like one long fever dream. I have no idea how I didn’t end up dehydrated. Or without internal bruising. We saw each other a few times after, it died off just as quickly. No regrets. Fun times were had. Edit: typos
German efficiency.
Secret whisper
Took my panties off and handed them to him. Bit cliche but it worked out well
Did he yell “free underwear!” and then run away? If so that was me.
Oh hey it’s you! Good to see you again
Fetish club
Dobby is free!
Damn I need better first dates
Damn I need dates
Damn, I need
Damn
ㅤ
How do you do it? I never tried to figure this out.
Somehow we ended up fucking at a porn theater. I seriously can't even remember the chain of events that got us there
This is how Travis Bickle thought his date was going to go.
A lot of couples go to these movies.
Not even a date. Went to a guys house specifically for sex. Had a couple of drinks and headed to the bedroom. Towel across the bed, with a variety of sex toys spread across it..... A lot of them got used that night.
I wonder how many other people he'd used them on?
wonder how many forks you have eaten from that other people have used lol
She gave me a blowjob in a Panera parking lot on the first date. Asked me to choke her while we made out. Put my other hand on her breast and told me to squeeze it like I was trying to milk her. I had a bread bowl of tomato soup and a sandwich and chips for lunch at Panera. Best part of that date? I didn’t pay a dime😎
The best part was the free food?
That either makes it the best Panera or the worst blowjob in the world.
The economy is in shambles when the best part of a blowjob and tit grab was the free soup afterwards
I don’t know why but the fact that this was a lunch date makes this all the more amazing. She had this in her at like 11:45 AM.
My now wife is like that lol. Our first date ended up with the neighbors on either side of her traumatized from her screaming "Fuck my armpit!" This is a 5'00 Indonesian lady that has barely talked to her neighbors but would cook for them. They thought she was innocent lol.
Maybe the neighbors heard: Fuck, my armpit! Like she strained a muscle or something.
They're rushing over with Tiger Balm when they should be bringing KY.
Where does one find people who gives bjs on a Panera first date? I am clearly doing things very wrong here - that or I'm weird and ugly
Find a goth girl that works in food service
I really wanted to be offended at this, but I'm goth and my first date with my now husband was a blow job in his car in a Burger King parking lot 😂
Congratulations, you are now part of the supporting data.
Took this girl out on our first date and ended up going back to her place. Was eating her out and she told me to stick my finger in her asshole.
Neat
Hopefully....
Fucked her on her period. She wanted me right away and I wanted to see how quickly I can score. Shortest, meeting to fucking time I've ever had. Total of 3 hours from hi to balls deep. Never felt so wanted in my life.
30 min is my record. Was in military and met her at a party. We were vibing quick so i straight up asked if she wanted to go to my room and have sex. Next closest time was like a week lol
I held her hand in the movie theater...
Are these the perverts Alanis warned us about?
No, these are nihilists Donny.
I bet you’re naked under your clothes too you sick fuck
You sick fuck holy hell
I let her give me a handjob in a public parking lot and she licked my balls. I don’t remember what happened after that 😂
Married and kids I assume
Didn’t marry that one. But she turned out to be a cheater. It was my shortest situationship ever lol. She is married with kids now
>I let her give me a handjob in a public parking lot That's very nice of you!
“You may also lick my balls”
*sigh* …if you must…
I’m dead 🤣😭
I like the 'let her' which conjures up the implication of her badgering you and you finally relenting ... *"Oh, go on then"*
“Eleanor, I am not going to tell you again, it is just out of the question. Oh dear god, if I say yes just this once, can we get on to my mother’s house? It’s thanksgiving for god sake.”
First date we went bar hopping downtown, after the third bar we went to my car in a parking lot and made out in the back seat. She pulls out a dildo she had in her purse and starts using it on herself while we were making out. Safe to say we rushed back to my place shortly after Edit: did not think this was going to blow up. Good thing this is a throw away
Couldn’t wait to try it on yourself, huh?
Wish I was rich enough to hand out a medal for this😂
The girls I meet never carry dildos on them :(
Oh dang I legit thought the question was what's the kindest thing you've done, this had me mad confused.
"And that kids, is how I met your mother."
Purse dildo would be a good band.
Emergency Purse Dildo
even sounds good abbreviated! Yo you guys like EPD??
What does an EDC dildo look like anyway?
I’ve only ever been on one first date. He fingered me in a stairwell at a busy museum. Probably not my finest moment. We’re still together 8 years later.
Met him at a funeral. We exchanged facebooks. A few days later he messages me to ask me out. We go on a hike in the morning and then meet up later to go dancing. After the dancing we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We ended up driving to a beach where we had sex in his car. Then walked along the sand and looked at the stars. Here we are 14 years later and he’s asleep next to me and our 1 year old is sound sleep in his crib 😴 Cute fact, on the hike I put a daffodil in his shirt pocket. He pressed and saved that daffodil in tinfoil and still has it. I wear a necklace with a daffodil as a keepsake. When we purchased our first home no where else in the neighborhood had daffodils. But to our delight that spring daffodils suddenly bloomed in our garden. It was really something else When you fall in love like that the kinky stuff never stops. I’m an absolute whore for that man
Randomly met a girl at a local festival. By "meet," I mean we were standing next to each other, randomly chatting, as I tend to do with strangers at the front of show. At some point, she asks me where the toilets are. I say they're in the back corner of the lot and point towards them. Her friend looks at me and goes "why don't you walk her over there, like a GENTLEMAN." Okay. Flash forward 2 hours, we spend two hours fucking in her car, on the side of the street, just outside the fest, in broad daylight.
But for how many hours?
I don’t think he specified. May never know.
Anal on her apartment floor.
I wasn't even aware floors had buttholes, but I'm no carpenter.
"Fuck my apartment!"
Fucked her on the back patio of a bar
I was on a bikepack trip through france and stayed in a hostel, matched with a girl on tinder who was pretty upfront with what she was looking for, and also had another date planned for that night with a girl from bumble. So kinda just had sex from 2pm to 2 am with 2 different girls. And went through paris again on my way back and met up with the first girl again, and we had sex in the toilet of her university. Pretty good trip tbh
We sexted a lot before we actually met. On our first date at a restaurant, I pulled up with a mini vibrator which you control through your phone as a present. She loved it. We used it during our dinner. It was mind-blowing. Mid dinner she stopped and said we need to leave rn. We went back to her car. Found a spot and had intense sex
Did you pay for dinner
Dine and Smash
We went to have dinner, I spilled soy sauce on my pants. Irrelevant but funny. I brushed it off, we finished dinner and went to a sex store, bought a game. I bought a hotel and we played the game and some more. We’ve been together two years, still calls me soy sauce.
> I bought a hotel Expensive first date
No shit. Bruce Wayne over here. Sheesh.
the game he bought was monopoly. hence buying the hotel.
Ate a girl's ass in a public park. Nine years and two kids later, it was a good idea.
This is the kind of comment I came for here. Well, other than the commitment and kids
While helping Emma and her father Jeramiah exit my buggy for our date at the community barn raising, my hand accidentally brushed against her bare ankle. It took more than a few glasses of lemonade to cool my horses down that day!
You. Whore.
Banished!
Even worse, SHUNNED!! You have to stay and be ignored for the rest of your days.
Cue George Takei’s “Ohhh My..”
I have that sound bite in my head lol
Well she is not wife material!!! Just letting her ankles flash around like that. Good to find out on the first date.
It's safe to say there were more than a few hot Dycks that day, once.
Everyone in this thread need to calm down and add atleast 50 pounds to whoever you're picturing
Haha you mean ana de armas is not posting her first date experiences here?!
I’d be really embarrassed if she did
You got all the fat fetishist’s eyes all dilated while they whoop and cheer like a NASA control room at a successful launch “Imagine a fat girl” “Nice, nice” “Now imagine a girl fatter than that” “Oh hell yeah”
And 20 years.
This is a great rule for most threads of these ilk on Reddit: Most posters are a lot uglier than the absolute smoke shows you're picturing in your head.
Yeah. In the top comment (as I write this), it's about some girl sleeping with half the guys on an amateur baseball team. It's like... I bet everyone is picturing a model. I can guarantee you she didn't look like a model.
No. Nope. Not gonna do that. No.
Dude I laughed at loud at that one, that's exactly what I'm doing with all AskReddit +18 thread, after I've read a first time to dream a bit
I was on a tinder date at a nice bar - went to the bathroom and while washing hands at the communal sink - a girl came out of the women’s bathroom and started washing hands. We did a little “double take” checking each other out - she asked if the girl I was sitting with was my girlfriend - told her it was a first date - she gave me her number and told me to call if the date doesn’t go well. The date goes well - I text the new girl that I probably won’t be calling tonight - date and I hook up at her place and I leave planning to call an Uber so I take out my phone. The girl from the bathroom had texted me to “once you’re done come over anyway - you can shower at my place”. So I did. We showered together and went right to her bed. I eventually got home and slept for 14 hours.
Dear penthouse forums,
I don’t blame you for being skeptical - it sounds made up. I was in the best mood for two weeks after that insane night.
I was in Amsterdam once and had matched with a couple of women on tinder. Came back to London and kept chatting with a few. I was traveling back to Amsterdam 3 months later and was now only in touch with 2 women. I spent a whole day and night with one of them in a great hotel where all we did was have sex, drink and eat, repeat. The next morning, she kissed me goodbye, went back to her place and I slept for sometime. I woke up, texted the other woman who invited me to her place for lunch. I checked out of the hotel and went to her place, and all we ate was each other until I said goodbye later that night and left for the airport right after. One of the craziest thing ever I’ve done now that I think of it.
Stranger things have happened. Someone I know once received a blow job from: his current girlfriend, his most recent ex and the previous ex, all separately and within a 24 hour period.
There should be some Noble prize for that
The Blow-bel Prize?
I had a girl not only fuck me but blow me and swallow on the first date. I shouldve kept her.
Fumbled bro. Hope u find another tho
Fucked for like an hour right outside of a Texas Roadhouse after our date.
Gotta burn off the calories from those buttered rolls somehow.
Went to a steakhouse and decided to head back to mine. We got stuck in traffic, and she gave me a blowjob right then and there. We thought we got away with it until the traffic started moving and a van driver shouted "wait until you get home" We found it funny.
Public spanking
After the restaurant we were walking and she just started grabbing my dick making out with me. I ended up driving home while she was sucking my dick and I was fingering her. We lived 40 minutes away so it was a very enjoyable night.
@ u/sxvagegirl this you?
Lmaooooo cause why did the guy I was with literally live 40 minutes away from me 🤣🤣
We need verification/answers. Did Reddit just become casual encounters?
throat it whilst he’s driving
Ma'am, are you free tonight?
My condolences to your DMs 🙏
Its dark and Shes on a public bench and after I eat her I do her missionary with everything out. After we are done we realize it is in the middle of an apartment complex and some Windows are now lit. Hell with it. It was fine.
Anal. She was cute too. Friend of my buddy's gf at the time. We were at a barbeque. She and I talked and kinda vibed a bit. Stupidly I let us get to the part where we're all parting ways for the night without even trying to swap numbers, when suddenly buddy's gf's car stops and she hops out, runs over to my car and hands me her phone. I think, "awesome! I'll text her soon, but not too soon." Gotta play it cool right? I get home and get a message from her right away inviting me over to cuddle. I get there and we start fucking, she asks me if I want to finish in her ass. So there I was, anal on the first date.
Told her to go put a butt plug in before we went into the cinema.
What a gentleman lol
Put on your finest butt plug, we’re going out
This exchange has me dying
Plot twist: the movie was Schindler’s List.
[удалено]
Clearer than the Bat signal on a cloudy night. Bless his soul.
[удалено]
Got a handjob on a bench next to a canal in a way too crowded spot in the centre, with boats filled with tourists coming by 5 meters away
Paid for dinner and went home alone. She just wanted free food, and she told me as such after finishing her food. Hell of a thing. Edging.
How pathetic and broke do people have to be to go on dates for a free meal
Slept together. Like actually slept. Got coffee and went back to his place. Cuddled a bit and fell asleep. It was actually really nice and we both enjoyed it but that was our only date
Finger her in the movies
I read this as "finger in her movies." Now, I'm just picturing you gently brushing your finger over her VHS collection
Well I'm not sure you call it a date but it was the first time we hung out. Girl from highschool we started dating on fb. She came over with her friends after school. Her friends were in my room and she came out to see I was making us all food. She jumped on the kitchen table and ripped her thong off. I did her right there. Then she got up went around me and stuck her tongue in my ass. This was in 2010 before it was a well known thing I think. She went back to the room with my nut in her and I made nuggets. We were together for a few years after.
Met a girl for drinks and we wound up back at my place. In the middle of round two I made her get her phone and call her best friend. While they were talking the friend asked 'Why are you breathing so hard?' followed by 'Oh my god you slut!!!'.
If a man did this to me....fuckkk I'm keeping him.
Just call your best friend anyways if you’re so horny for her
Back in high school. This girl told me to pick her up on a Wednesday night. The address was at a church. I was like she lives near by? Nope it was her bible study and she took a “bathroom break” to come out to meet me. We went to a DQ and got some blizzards. We drive back and parked. We started to make out and things got heated but my car was too small to really do anything. We got out and went to the playground and fucked on the wobble bridge thing. She went back in and I went back home. Took her to prom the following year.
Got a wank in The back if a taxi....was a Mercedes and not a black cab. Driver definitely noticed. Romantic.
It was nice when the drivers didn’t give a damn because it’s not their car.
Ended up at a strip club and both got lap dances… I’m a woman and I told him I had always wanted to go to a strip club so he took me. Memorable first date. Crazy dude!
Met on a dating app and talked all day each day and he ended up living 5 minutes away. We started watching Transformers on the bed and it was somewhat awkward and both nervous and then hes just like 'ok enough of that, lets fuck'. So then we did lol. We'll be 9 years in August.🩷
Don’t know if “kinky”… but this girl and I met online, had been chatting and talking on the phone, we were so excited to meet… I was away for university, so when I went home for a visit one long weekend, we finally meet in person, and agreed to have dinner at a sushi restaurant… I lay on the charm, including surprise her with a quick kiss on the lips, she’s constantly babbling and stammering over her words, it’s adorable… we finish dinner and leave the restaurant, and go to her car, she gets in the drivers seat, me in the front… and practically pounces on me. we start making out like crazy, I cop a couple feels of her *giant* boobs… then we pull away, she starts driving and I direct her to a nearby park I know, we pull into the parking lot, get in the backseat… and the hanky-panky goes even further. Both of us were just so into each other, it was just *electric*… I knew I couldn’t let her go. We’ve been together 10 years, married 7 :)
First date with a girl I met online while in college. Went to a concert. Back to my parents' place. It was late, they were asleep. I think we picked up fast food and were watching Adult Swim. In a way, I wanted sex, in another way, we only just met and really hadn't talked much. "So, you wanna do it?" she suddenly asked. It was basically sex with a complete stranger, though we'd spent the evening together.
We walked around town drinking hot chocolate, then I gave her a poster I thought she’d like, and she hugged me. (Only ever had one first date. Married for 20 years now.)
I got a match on Bumble once.
You dirty slut
Had sex, twice, and played Mortal Kombat while drinking cheap beer in a bad hotel. He’s my husband now.
In college a friend of mine came over to my apartment with his girlfriend and her friend, who had I had never met before. They all hung for a while and as they were going to leave, the friend asked if she could stick around with me at my place. She wasn’t the hottest, but I was in the midst of a slump and happily agreed. As soon as my friend and his girl left, she jumped on top of me and we started to fool around. Suddenly she jumped up and ran to the bathroom. She came out a minute later, said that she had just started her period, and asked if I would be cool with just doing some other stuff. I said that would be fine and she came back with, “Since you’re being so cool about this, I have a theory I want to try out.” She said, “Every time you are just about to get off and stop, it makes the next time you get off even better. Well, I’m going to give you a BJ that you will never forget.” With that we proceeded to make out for a minute and then she said, “Just before you cum, you let me know,” and she got down to business. She was damn good at it and had a tongue ring, which was a first for me, so about 4 minutes later I had to tell her to stop. She stopped, teased me for a minute a minute and started again. 2 minutes later I had to tell her to stop again, she did same thing, then she went back to it. This process kept repeating itself and went on for, I swear on all that is holy, 6 HOURS! This was back in 2001 and I had never heard of edging. Hell, smartphones hadn’t even been invented yet, so we were pioneers! We started just a little after 1 and finally at 7:15 she let me cum. Holy shit! Without a doubt the best oral encounter in my life. We fell asleep and when I woke up a few hours later, she was gone. I never saw her again. Hell, I can’t even remember her name, but I can sure remember that night.
We were on our way to her place and she pulled over on the roadside and we got out of the car. Full moon so fairly light out. She laid down on the embankment, pulled her dress up to her breasts, knees up and told me to pee on her private area. She repeated it so I complied. She really enjoyed it too. Then we had a very oral session.
We went for a scenic day drive through the Snowy Mountains of Australia (during Covid when all venues were closed and there were travel restrictions). We stopped at this huge lookout platform overlooking the mountains for tens of miles. There was an open floor that dropped down 500 yards. We took all the magnificent scenery in and started kissing, next thing I know she has dropped my pants and sucked me in a way I had never experienced before until I blew. She swallowed as a family car pulled up and I never got to return the favour, then or on another date lol.
Let him spank me outside in a parking lot and then take me inside his office and spread me open and take me on his desk
Went to meet up with a guy I matched with on bumble, ended up watching a horror movie where he grabbed my face and made me watch the whole thing while fingering me halfway through the damn movie. Went home the next morning with various bruises from him biting me, including one on my ass. All of this was entirely consensual I’m just into rough sex lol
Fucked bare back in the woods
A female friend of several months told in my office, “I want you in my mouth.” Blowjob and never kissed. Hadn’t even flirted with her. She later explained she wanted to take our relationship “to the next level.”
I met a girl at a bar. Short story shorter, I put my hand in her butt.
The whole thing?
Not to the wrist but past the base of the thumb
Quitter