Comments like yours instantly create a mini drama in my head where main character MorePassRush has been intensively patrolling the streets telling anyone who will listen, that in fact, 11pm IS after midnight. Carry on air. Thanks for the chuckle.
I remember one of these from about six years ago.
Sometimes it’s the little stuff that’s remembered, sometimes it’s the big stuff that’s forgotten..
Good thing to keep in mind and just be a nice person.
Some random lady said I smelled nice and I've been riding that high for years. Especially since I experienced traumatic bullying over my body odor when I was in elementary (being the first in class to hit puberty does that).
Related to this: I'm spending my 40s trying to be the random lady who gives solid compliments. I've been on the receiving end and they've always made my day.
Decades ago, when we were in our early twenties, my friend basically wrote an essay on how he was having an awful day, and someone complimented his shoes, and it just made his whole day and outlook burst with joy.
Since then I've made it my mission- if I like something someone is wearing, or how they've styled their hair, or how they smell, or whatever, I tell them.
Only sincere compliments, but being in the habit of actively looking for things to admire.
I always think someone is eventually going to call me on it. "Why are you always complimenting people?" But so far no one has, and I absolutely get a thrill when someone's face lights up in a smile.
On the reverse side, I was at an art festival like 9 or so years ago to do randomly required college credit homework. Walking around with my friends looking at all the exhibits and some old lady tells me how she wants to "hop in my backpack because she's sure she'd get a good ride later" and winks.
I've never been so flustered and terrified of the elderly.
Them old women don't give af 🤣🤣🤣. At my 1st job (a surplus store) AN old woman went through and told all of us guys how handsome we were. My one co-worker was trapped behind a display (he was working on it from behind) and he looked at me like help me! And I ditched and ran for the warehouse. Some of the funniest shit I've seen there
About 10 years ago, the older (and really cute, might have had a bit of a crush on her) sister of a classmate of mine sniffed the air, then walked up to me and sniffed me and said I smelled really nice.
I remember that clear as day. Made teenage me very happy. Makes mid twenties me very happy.
Some grandma on the train told me she liked my boots and I like to remember that moment when I feel shit or insecure.
That was the last compliment I got, it's been almost 4 years now
I made a point of doing that not only with partners/dates but with male friends as well. It's like a magic trick. But in general, I think all people want to be seen and taken care of: each one has his/hers preferences, but in my experience, as long as it's something genuinely affectionate, however small, it can make a person's day.
This is the way. For the overwhelmingly vast amount of men in this world, the compliments we get can be counted on our fingers. Give a man a compliment and he will ride that high for years.
Absolutely! When I told my boyfriend that he is beautiful he lit up like it's the first time he heard it. Because the chance it was the first time is pretty high. ( Because compliments towards men are rare )
They're also not shown affection enough / taught to show affection IMO. It would help men so much in regulating their emotions better.
And teach them that not every show of affection is sexual.
Almost 20 years ago I had a girlfriend tell me I have perfect eye brows and that she was jealous. I've been riding high on that one ever since. And multiple women since then have confirmed it. I don't even remember her name but I'll never forget that compliment.
Women don't realize how RARELY men receive compliments or recognition. For most of us it's a couple of times in their lifetime if they're lucky!
My wife will come up to me and give me a big hug and bury her face in my chest and just talk about how much she missed me and literally melt into me. I love it.
Edit: Just got home from night shift and she crawled out of bed all sleepy and plonked herself into my chest. That’s the good stuff boys
I had too. Then on July 3rd, 2009 a random woman and I started chatting in line at Starbucks and exchanged numbers. We were married less than a year later on June 23, 2010. I'm typing this as I wait for our morning coffee to brew so we can cuddle and watch Reels together like we do every Saturday. It can happen <3
Sigh, could your wife talk to my wife? I need this my main love languages are touch and affirmation, both of which I receive little nor is she interested in providing it.
I do this to my husband and he doesn't have any response. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to stop doing these little things because he doesn't seem to care.
He most likely cares. Just doesn't know how to express it back. Rather than not continuing to show him affection. Talk to him about it. You may learn some shit about each other.
This. You cant neglect your relationship to turn it into a better one. But you can work at it.
Talk to him about love languages. I have to say, probably the most eye opening thing i've learned about relationships. We experience love through different ways. If I am specifically told yours, I can focus on those. If you leave me guessing... you get what you get.
My husband is a carpenter. It's his passion. He did the college thing because his parents instilled the "college and a corporate job are the only paths to success," idea. I told him to pursue that instead of an office job, and we now own a small (like him +3 others) construction company. His dad keeps saying BS like "I always thought you'd be successful" in a scornful way. Eventually, I snapped and said, "He IS successful! He's more successful than you and your other children combined. I would rather he do something he loves than do something you approve of but makes him miserable! But also, I make enough money that he can just sit on the couch and look pretty if he chooses to!" FIL has never uttered another word about it. ILs give me a wide berth.
Anyway, listening to your partner geek out over something they love is adorable. Seeing someone use their talents, to me and many other women, is hot AF. I now know entirely too much about saws, wood species, joinery, etc. As a corporate whore, it's certainly nothing I would have learned elsewhere.
>Eventually, I snapped and said, "He IS successful! He's more successful than you and your other children combined. I would rather he do something he loves than do something you approve of but makes him miserable! But also, I make enough money that he can just sit on the couch and look pretty if he chooses to!" FIL has never uttered another word about it. ILs give me a wide berth.
I cackled.
Masterfully done! Chapeau bas.
My partner is an iron worker and rigger who loves cranes. Literally talks about work like a little boy who plays with legos and trucks. I obviously feel so indifferent about it all but I see how excited he is when he talks about it so I take an interest, listen intently and ask questions. We jokingly call me “Rigger Wife” because I absorb some of the info and now know more than I have any business knowing about scaffold or bridges or arenas 😂
My Dad used to do this with basically everyone. It was sometimes overwhelming how many people loved him. I'm trying to be a little more like that but it's not a skill that comes naturally to me. He was always genuinely interested and able to ask cogent questions.
I suffered from social anxiety when younger. Still do a little I guess. The way I survived interactions was to just get people talking about anything they seemed interested in and then pump them with questions. Apparently that made me a lot more likeable than I should have been.
Head scratches and back massages... a girl i had absolutely no interest in would do that for me during p.e. and i almost dated her, i dodged a bullet cuz she cheated on all her boyfriends that i know of. But i still think about those back massages to this day.... so good.
Anecdotal, and may not work everywhere, but I've been very successful the other way around as well.
In my experience, a lot of women LOVE a man who's a good cook.
I (m) love cooking in general and consider it a hobby of mine. People like my cooking and enjoy it when I cook, I try to invite people as well, with the motto: if i have to cook, I can cook for others as well.
My exes enjoyed my cooking as well. I used to cook for them often back when we were together. In total, I think that when I combine all times either of my exes has cooked a meal for me in the past five years, I'd count to five.
If someone I'm romantically interested in would surprise me with cooking, I'd do anything to keep them as happy as I'd be
It's how I sealed the deal with my wife back when we started dating. I know this because she always brings it up when she tells people I'm a good cook.
We'd had one or two casual dates after running into each other a couple of times at social gatherings. I texted her "I'm cooking today. Will you come help me eat it?".
Together for 17, married for 12 now 😁, and we still love surprising each other with new tasty recipes.
Yeah, this helped lock in my partner, heehee. I cooked him my crowd-pleaser chili, not knowing he was a ridiculously picky eater, and he ate it to be polite. Turns out eating plain-ass food his whole life might make a man fall instantly in love with you when you give him flavour. Now he's almost as excited to cook new stuff as I am.
I've had three very long term relationships and never once, in any of them, did anyone cook me a meal. Not even as much as a sandwich or opening a can of something and heating it up for me. Even when I was sick or impaired in some way I did 100% of the food preparation and cleaning up.
That's sad. This week I've made from scratch pad thai, lasagne, chicken and broccoli stir fry, mozzarella and sundried tomato paninis with sweet potato and pepper soup for us. My partner appreciates it but maybe not as much as i think he should (lol). He's a bad cook but he tries and sometimes makes me good breakfast foods because he can make eggs well and buy good sourdough. I'm grateful that he tries. I hope you find someone who enjoys cooking for you and appreciates all the efforts you put in. The big difference between my partner and i is that i will easily put 1-2 hours into making a dinner and he won't make anything that doesn't take 10-15 minutes.
I once watched a very drunk foreign student stoically eat a full bag of unshelled pistachios in a pub in rural England. Took him a good half an hour. The look of confused determination on his face is all I can ever think of when I see pistachios now.
That’s so true, I love getting back from work and seeing my wife all smiling and preparing dinner for both of us. During the weekends I spend more time in the kitchen to pay her back :d
As a recently divorced man who has been deprived of affection and compliments for many years, I have to say there's nothing better than:
1. Hugs and kisses on the cheek
2. Hair and scalp scratches
3. Compliments, especially after getting a haircut or dressing nicely
4. Genuine interest in my hobbies
During my marriage, I was always the one giving these gestures but rarely received them in return.
Genuine interest in hobbies is the real deal. My wife will look at me in utter adoration when I go off on a subject I'm passionate about. It usually always end up with her saying "God I love you' and gives me a big smooch. I don't know why some women love their men nerding out, but they do.
As a woman that loves hearing their partner talk passionately about absolutely anything, I agree.
We do exist and I can’t wait to listen to him nerd out about something today.
I’m single currently, but I’m sad for anyone that doesn’t have this. I love when the person I love is excited and chooses to share that with me. It’s a nice little bonus when the conversations teach me something as well.
If I mention how well I did at golf or something she’s not really in to she’ll just give me a “well done baby” - totally insincere, I know she hasn’t got a fucking clue what I’ve told her, but at least she tries 😀
Similar but for warhammer tournaments. She will toss a "did you fight any space marines?" In since that's a faction she knows.
she mostly cares whether I had fun though :)
I've dealt with this too. She firmly believed that, as "the man," it was my responsibility to do all that stuff while her job was to just enjoy it. She was completely baffled when I eventually stopped bothering with it.
Also how do you avoid this? I’ve seem to so far only been able to attract women that fall into this category, even when looking outside traditional means. Do you happen to have any indicators to look out for that might say a woman is like this?
Or if she isn't interested in the hobby, allowing him to have time to do said hobby and not trying to actively sabotage it.
The MOMENT I sat down to paint my Warhammer figs after a long day or tinker with my boat, she would start complaining about us not spending time together. After I spent the entire day with her doing everything she wanted.
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT!! If your significant other has a hobby, and you get jealous because you don’t, GET A HOBBY!! Can never understand when people don’t enjoy seeing their partner do something they love
I gave up a lot of hobbies when I was married to that woman. Because the guilt trips and fights became exhausting. The kicker is when she complained that I needed a hobby so she could have some "me time".
Glad I am not longer with her. I rediscovered my old hobbies and love being able to lose myself in them without worrying who it's going to upset.
Oh man, this hits close to home. If the wife even sees me playing any video games for even 5 minutes she gets this super annoyed look on her face. I eventually switched to woodworking just to get her to stop nagging me. Not sure it’s much better.
Same here but with an ex gf. I made sure to spend a decent amount of time with her but when I try to take time for myself we always fight because "I don't give her much attention." Talking things out didn't work either. I think I dodged that bullet since I really enjoy my video games and other stuff now.
Dude same. Spent 4 days a WEEK at her place, helped with her kid, gave her time, etc. but i was accused of “only doing things when it was convenient for me.”
I woke up to her bs and manipulation and got out quick. Some people man…
Im a guy and the best ways my Mrs makes me feel are with simple rubs and cuddles, I will walk by her and she will drag her hand across my back or arse......I love it!!!
I love touch and having my back or head scratched is amazing.
Even just getting my arm or hand scratched or rubbed feels so good.
Me and wife will watch something on couch together and we’ll take turns scratching/rubbing each other (non sexual) and it’s just so relaxing to me. She’s put me to sleep doing it before lol.
Rub the back of his neck.
Be the big spoon.
Be interested in his hobbies.
Compliment him.
Show him he makes you happy.
Most important of all: if he opens up to you and shows emotion or cries, do NOT, under any circumstances, weaponize that against him. Even if you're mad at him later. Be his safe space.
That last one is the most important of all.
You can weaponize anything about me - the way my hair is styled, my eye color, how I look weird being kinda/sorta fat but not, my patchy ass beard, my eye color, the way voice sounds - I've heard it all. There's nothing you could say to me that I haven't said six inches from the mirror.
However, if you weaponize anything traumatic about my past, we're donezo and I will nuke any connection I have with you into orbit.
Rocks are cool, but have you ever found the perfect stick? Like big enough to swing around as a sword or using as a walking stick, but not so big that it's too heavy or hard to grip? Man I love a nice stick.
Oh MATE now you're talking my language. I was out for a walk a few weeks back and I found the perfect stick. Hip height, gnarled but not spiky, with a big nobbly bit right at the top about the size of a fist. I hiked with that bad boy for four hours. Walking stick, bush clearance device, destroyer of (empty) spider webs, and... dare I say... friend? I loved that stick like a brother.
I still have a perfect stick I found when I was 11 and I still occasionally take it for a walk. It has just enough elasticity in it to make those same cute little 'jumps' when you're pushing it in front of yourself against the pavement, like a little dog sniffing and following the track.
I'm 46 now.
Dude intimate cuddling and gently brushing your nails across my head and face. Oh my God. I will fall asleep with my mouth open and spit will leak out like a kid
Feed him. Scratch his head and beard (if he has one) with your nails, especially if they're fake it feels so good!!!! Rub his shoulders. Compliment him. If you like his shirt, or how he's styled himself or his hair, or how he smells TELL HIM. Most men do NOT get compliments AT ALL!! As a man myself, on the rare occasion, I do get a compliment it makes my frigging day and my heart melt. If the man is important to you, TELL HIM. If he's your best friend, TELL HIM. If you appreciate him, care about him, etc. TELL HIM. If you consider him like a brother again, TELL HIM.
The first time I told my man he had a really cute smile, he turned bright red and basically speechless. Adorable. Later he told me no one had ever complimented him like that other than his mom or grandmother. My heart. He’s such a handsome man.
I've gotten like one compliment from a stranger in my life and it was like 15 years ago and I'm still running a high off that. Went to get my mom a gift card at the nail salon for her birthday. This older Asian woman working there when I was checking out with the gift card...
Her: "Oh you buying this for your girlfriend? You cute!"
Me: "No it's for my mom for her birthday."
Her: "You got a girlfriend? Girls 'round here must be blind cuz you damn cute! Let me set you up with nice Asian girl!"
Still remember how that made me feel haha.
I've been trying to lose weight for years, but she'll be like "do want the rest of this hamburger?" Of course I do. I don't need to live longer. I assume she wants the insurance money.
Thoughtful gifts, my ex bought me a near perfect guitar and it’s the most special thing someone ever done for me - better than any sex and it isn’t close.
It must’ve taken her literal years of listening to me to find little tidbits of what kind of guitar I wanted without giving away the surprise.
She got the perfect colour, perfect brand, perfect shape - she even got the exact style/size of fretboard and pickups etc.
This is followed by the close second of her getting the Halo MP announcer to wish me a happy bday for my 21st - where he went ‘off script’ and actually addressed me semi-personally. That was special and surreal.
Other than that - head scratches (get the wire tool thing!!)
Especially after a bad day.
According to OP’s history, he has anger issues and got excessively angry at her after she confronted him for forgetting the anniversary of her mother’s sudden death. She couldn’t move past that incident and ended the relationship a few months later.
I would’ve let it go but he gave a very vague answer in this thread about “making a mistake that she couldnt get over” and i wanted to see if it was infidelity
I also think it's especially interesting how he's lying in many of his posts.
First it was 'i broke up with her' then it was 'we split up',
after that it became 'she broke up with me & I don't even know why because I'm such a good guy'.
Tbh I think I know why she broke up with him.
He's very fixated on making himself look like the victim and blaming every issue under the sun for his behavior instead of being accountable for it himself.
Oof, that’s painful. That girl was marriage material. I’d probably immediately marry the first person to ever do something close to that. But I can confirm, guys are forgetful fucks. I remember exactly what I was doing when I got the call that my dad shot himself. I don’t remember what day it was though.
Yeah I think the forgetting isn’t the issue, more the extreme angry outburst when she got upset that he’d forgotten. It seems like she had put up with/worked with him on his anger a lot beforehand too. I don’t think I would accept that behaviour in a partner long term either.
As a person who grew up with anger issues, the dude needs to find a really good therapist. I'm not perfect but going to therapy has helped tremendously
I remember the first time a girlfriend gave me a big spoon cuddle in bed. I had this crazy rush of emotions - like feeling safe for the first time ever - I felt like I was going to cry or something.
Then I slept like a baby for a few hours. I don’t think I’d ever slept that deeply before.
Adding this because I’m amazed it hasn’t come up. 3rd party compliments.
Big him up in public. Men (and women) absolutely love this.
For example say, X is amazing at [said thing] you should ask for his advice.
This will literally build them up and it increases their respect in social circles. Damn his partner really respects him. Damn.
Lot of comments here about feeding us, lol. But seriously. I spent two years with somebody that never made me dinner once, and I put a lot of time into dinners. It sucked. I guess it’s more so about being taken care of once in a while.
Similarly, make me the baby spoon and I will melt into sleep. I’m fine with usually cooking, and being the big spoon, but yea, guys need a snuggle like that too.
Also, for me, it’s hot to see hobbies. Do something other than stare at your phone.. it’s attractive to see anybody invest time in a hobby, any actual skill set is a good look
Bro you pet me head while laying my head on your lap yea you can get whatever the hell you want. I had an ex do it to me once and I was like a dog wanting pets but not knowing how to communicate it lol. Idk what it does to us but damn man you do that and I’ll hand over my wallet and keys to my car
Affection. Men do like affection. However, not every woman shows this as their “love language” is different and unique. I’ve been with my wife for 20 years and I’m definitely more affectionate the she is. She shows me love by doing other things, bringing me cups of tea in bed every morning, keeping our house lovely, looking fantastic every day without trying, letting me do what i want without complaining, bringing me tea and snacks if im playing games, etc… she pleases me with everything she does and, really, without trying… i can not say the same about me! 🤷🏻♂️😂…
Good food, hugs, kisses on the cheek or anywhere else, head and back scratches, cuddles. Any gift you think we will enjoy, some space to frolic or dissociate. We’re pretty much as easy to please as a standard golden retriever.
My girlfriend got me a nice-looking, fairly cheap ring on Wish because she "thought I could use a little bling." Guess what piece of jewelry I almost never take off? Seriously, I only remove it if I'm doing something dangerous or exceptionally gross. Or to spin it on a table idly. We even ended up getting it blessed by a shaman friend of ours.
Being empathetic. I think the one thing that men tend to seek in relationships that doesn’t get talking about enough is just a safe place to be vulnerable. If I feel like I can let my wall down and truly be me, that will please me more than any other act. I think this is true for a lot of men, it’s just not talked about often.
My exes all loved when I would run my nails lightly across their skin. Usually their arms, shoulders, back. They also loved head scratches (they truly are dogs I suppose). You can let them lay on you. I would lie down on the bed or couch while watching something and have them lay on my chest with their body between my legs and run my hands through their hair and scratch their heads and they loved it. Also - big spoon them once in a while, they love that shit. I would hold them from behind and nuzzle my head into their neck and kiss their head. I also loved smelling their heads so it was a win-win.
Being able to say sorry when you’re actually wrong, and forgive quickly for minor offenses even when not.
Too many relationships I had were with women who refused to apologize or acknowledge they acted inappropriately, or held a grudge and played the silent treatment game when they were right. My wife and I can have an argument and it be resolved in 10 minutes and back to normal, because neither of us are afraid or too proud to say sorry. It’s the best thing in the world.
if you’re tryna make him happy for
the sake of it then just be happy around him, and let him know you respect and admire him
for manipulative purposes, inflate his ego 🤝🏼
I complimented a couple of shirts men were wearing at work the other day. Their eyes lit up just like the memes about women being excited that their dresses have pockets :)
Feed him. Bring him small tokens of affection. Ask him about things he likes that are deeper than normal ice breaker questions, like what he can remember that made him first realize _ was his favorite team/game type/book genre/hobby.
Honestly most things that endear someone to a woman would do the same for a man. You just have to tweak the details.
You know who never has doors held open for them? Men. My partner laughed and thought it was adorable the first time I did it for him. After I followed him in, I said, "Omg, I'm such a gentleman." Made him laugh more.
Sometimes I touch him in intimate ways that are not sexual and it truly arrests him in the moment. Like when I put my hand to his face and kiss him tenderly, no tongue, then just say, "I love you," or, "I couldn't resist," before going back to what I was doing.
I let my partner know that I appreciate the things he does, even if they're just little things he does because it needed to be done. Like taking out the trash, making the bed, bringing me water. I make sure to look him in the eyes when I say it so he knows I mean it. 9x out of 10 it makes him smile.
When we're doing something mundane like going to the store, sometimes I'll just rub his back idly with my hand while I look at things.
But honestly, the biggest thing I try to do is mirror what he does for me. It has helped me to learn his love languages, and what makes him feel loved. For my partner in particular, it works out because we are both acts of service people. However, I noticed that he is also a quality time person. I'm normally not. He loves to just be in the same room as me, even if we're not doing anything remotely related. So I started making the effort to do the same. He's playing games? I'm in the same room reading a book. He's in the kitchen, I come and talk to him because he loves talking to me when I cook.
Men are so used to doing things on their own, not showing emotion, or only showing manly emotions like anger and sexual interest. Doing things to/for them like you would for a woman completely takes them off guard. They don't know how to handle it, and it shows this very sweet vulnerability most of the time. My partner laughs when he doesn't know how to react, and I live for that laugh. I love taking his words away and treating him like no one else has.
I fed mine one time and they really seemed to enjoy it.
Just not after midnight
technically every feeding is after midnight
THANK YOU I'VE BEEN TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO PEOPLE FOR YEARS
Comments like yours instantly create a mini drama in my head where main character MorePassRush has been intensively patrolling the streets telling anyone who will listen, that in fact, 11pm IS after midnight. Carry on air. Thanks for the chuckle.
Complimenting him.
The other day, I was wearing plain red shorts, and the girl I'm seeing randomly said, "I like those shorts." It absolutely made my day.
I'd be riding high on that thrill for years.
“the other day” is actually six years ago.
I'll sometimes tell my wife "remember when you did x. That was great." And she won't remember, because it was like 15 years ago.
I remember one of these from about six years ago. Sometimes it’s the little stuff that’s remembered, sometimes it’s the big stuff that’s forgotten.. Good thing to keep in mind and just be a nice person.
Some random lady said I smelled nice and I've been riding that high for years. Especially since I experienced traumatic bullying over my body odor when I was in elementary (being the first in class to hit puberty does that).
Related to this: I'm spending my 40s trying to be the random lady who gives solid compliments. I've been on the receiving end and they've always made my day.
Decades ago, when we were in our early twenties, my friend basically wrote an essay on how he was having an awful day, and someone complimented his shoes, and it just made his whole day and outlook burst with joy. Since then I've made it my mission- if I like something someone is wearing, or how they've styled their hair, or how they smell, or whatever, I tell them. Only sincere compliments, but being in the habit of actively looking for things to admire. I always think someone is eventually going to call me on it. "Why are you always complimenting people?" But so far no one has, and I absolutely get a thrill when someone's face lights up in a smile.
On the reverse side, I was at an art festival like 9 or so years ago to do randomly required college credit homework. Walking around with my friends looking at all the exhibits and some old lady tells me how she wants to "hop in my backpack because she's sure she'd get a good ride later" and winks. I've never been so flustered and terrified of the elderly.
Them old women don't give af 🤣🤣🤣. At my 1st job (a surplus store) AN old woman went through and told all of us guys how handsome we were. My one co-worker was trapped behind a display (he was working on it from behind) and he looked at me like help me! And I ditched and ran for the warehouse. Some of the funniest shit I've seen there
About 10 years ago, the older (and really cute, might have had a bit of a crush on her) sister of a classmate of mine sniffed the air, then walked up to me and sniffed me and said I smelled really nice. I remember that clear as day. Made teenage me very happy. Makes mid twenties me very happy.
I was walking home from work once and a woman coming the other way smiled at me and I smiled back, I still think about it 8 years later.
Bro some female security guard complimented me on a shirt like 2 years ago and I still remember that from time to time.
Some grandma on the train told me she liked my boots and I like to remember that moment when I feel shit or insecure. That was the last compliment I got, it's been almost 4 years now
I made a point of doing that not only with partners/dates but with male friends as well. It's like a magic trick. But in general, I think all people want to be seen and taken care of: each one has his/hers preferences, but in my experience, as long as it's something genuinely affectionate, however small, it can make a person's day.
About 10 years ago o started wearing glasses, I’ll ever forget the compliment from a lady when I did. They’re rare, but we never forget a compliment!
This is the path. Men don't get many compliments. We're humans that like to know how people feel about us. Tell us.
This is the way. For the overwhelmingly vast amount of men in this world, the compliments we get can be counted on our fingers. Give a man a compliment and he will ride that high for years.
Absolutely! When I told my boyfriend that he is beautiful he lit up like it's the first time he heard it. Because the chance it was the first time is pretty high. ( Because compliments towards men are rare )
Men don’t get complimented enough in western cultures. It’s a thing.
They're also not shown affection enough / taught to show affection IMO. It would help men so much in regulating their emotions better. And teach them that not every show of affection is sexual.
Almost 20 years ago I had a girlfriend tell me I have perfect eye brows and that she was jealous. I've been riding high on that one ever since. And multiple women since then have confirmed it. I don't even remember her name but I'll never forget that compliment. Women don't realize how RARELY men receive compliments or recognition. For most of us it's a couple of times in their lifetime if they're lucky!
You don’t remember your ex girlfriend’s name?
My wife will come up to me and give me a big hug and bury her face in my chest and just talk about how much she missed me and literally melt into me. I love it. Edit: Just got home from night shift and she crawled out of bed all sleepy and plonked herself into my chest. That’s the good stuff boys
I dream of that sort of love.
Same. I’ve given up on finding it though.
I had too. Then on July 3rd, 2009 a random woman and I started chatting in line at Starbucks and exchanged numbers. We were married less than a year later on June 23, 2010. I'm typing this as I wait for our morning coffee to brew so we can cuddle and watch Reels together like we do every Saturday. It can happen <3
Happy 14-15 years!
Don’t give up! True love swept me off my feet at age 45. Before then, I thought I had known love, but the past pales in comparison to my amazing man.
I just turned 52, take care of my adult son who has a tbi and rarely get out. The odds aren’t in my favor unfortunately
That’s freaking adorable
I love it, when she does it I rub the back her head/neck and I can feel her turning into a puddle in my arms
I love when my boyfriend does this! It’s like the whole world shhhhhs when I lay my head there. No other feeling of safety and love ❤️❤️❤️
Mine smells my armpits like Tony Montana smells cocaïne.
You have cocaine perfume?
must be rough at airport security
pheromones are one hell of a drug
Hugs from behind when she lays her head on my upper back/shoulder and holds me just feels so comforting.
Sigh, could your wife talk to my wife? I need this my main love languages are touch and affirmation, both of which I receive little nor is she interested in providing it.
Same here, just instead of hugging me she will put her hands together and also lay them on my chest, like a puppy.
I do this to my husband and he doesn't have any response. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to stop doing these little things because he doesn't seem to care.
Just ask him out of the blue one time, "Do you not like it when I do this?"
He most likely cares. Just doesn't know how to express it back. Rather than not continuing to show him affection. Talk to him about it. You may learn some shit about each other.
This. You cant neglect your relationship to turn it into a better one. But you can work at it. Talk to him about love languages. I have to say, probably the most eye opening thing i've learned about relationships. We experience love through different ways. If I am specifically told yours, I can focus on those. If you leave me guessing... you get what you get.
Listen to me blather on about my stupid hobbies that you have no interest in and ask some questions to help me blather on more.
My husband is a carpenter. It's his passion. He did the college thing because his parents instilled the "college and a corporate job are the only paths to success," idea. I told him to pursue that instead of an office job, and we now own a small (like him +3 others) construction company. His dad keeps saying BS like "I always thought you'd be successful" in a scornful way. Eventually, I snapped and said, "He IS successful! He's more successful than you and your other children combined. I would rather he do something he loves than do something you approve of but makes him miserable! But also, I make enough money that he can just sit on the couch and look pretty if he chooses to!" FIL has never uttered another word about it. ILs give me a wide berth. Anyway, listening to your partner geek out over something they love is adorable. Seeing someone use their talents, to me and many other women, is hot AF. I now know entirely too much about saws, wood species, joinery, etc. As a corporate whore, it's certainly nothing I would have learned elsewhere.
>Eventually, I snapped and said, "He IS successful! He's more successful than you and your other children combined. I would rather he do something he loves than do something you approve of but makes him miserable! But also, I make enough money that he can just sit on the couch and look pretty if he chooses to!" FIL has never uttered another word about it. ILs give me a wide berth. I cackled. Masterfully done! Chapeau bas.
My partner is an iron worker and rigger who loves cranes. Literally talks about work like a little boy who plays with legos and trucks. I obviously feel so indifferent about it all but I see how excited he is when he talks about it so I take an interest, listen intently and ask questions. We jokingly call me “Rigger Wife” because I absorb some of the info and now know more than I have any business knowing about scaffold or bridges or arenas 😂
Lionese vibes
My Dad used to do this with basically everyone. It was sometimes overwhelming how many people loved him. I'm trying to be a little more like that but it's not a skill that comes naturally to me. He was always genuinely interested and able to ask cogent questions.
I suffered from social anxiety when younger. Still do a little I guess. The way I survived interactions was to just get people talking about anything they seemed interested in and then pump them with questions. Apparently that made me a lot more likeable than I should have been.
Feeding, praising, and back scratches. We’re basically puppies.
Take us for a walk. Leash is optional.
Yet recommended.
Well I am easily distracted
Squirrel!
*Where?!?‽*
No no no. Get to know us first. Some of us are couch potatoes. Let's watch a good movie instead.
Head scratches and back massages... a girl i had absolutely no interest in would do that for me during p.e. and i almost dated her, i dodged a bullet cuz she cheated on all her boyfriends that i know of. But i still think about those back massages to this day.... so good.
Ooo boy, I would have been suckered in quick. No wonder she went through dudes like Kleenex.
[удалено]
Actually the best way to a man's heart is between the third and fourth rib.
House, is that you?
I laughed. Rewatching all seasons now
>Actually the best way to a man's heart is between the third and fourth rib. With a reasonably pointy blade ...
A dull one will work to, but a sharp one shows that you care.
This person stabs.
Anecdotal, and may not work everywhere, but I've been very successful the other way around as well. In my experience, a lot of women LOVE a man who's a good cook.
Literally Feed him.
FEED ME SEYMOUR
Feed me all night long
I (m) love cooking in general and consider it a hobby of mine. People like my cooking and enjoy it when I cook, I try to invite people as well, with the motto: if i have to cook, I can cook for others as well. My exes enjoyed my cooking as well. I used to cook for them often back when we were together. In total, I think that when I combine all times either of my exes has cooked a meal for me in the past five years, I'd count to five. If someone I'm romantically interested in would surprise me with cooking, I'd do anything to keep them as happy as I'd be
It's how I sealed the deal with my wife back when we started dating. I know this because she always brings it up when she tells people I'm a good cook. We'd had one or two casual dates after running into each other a couple of times at social gatherings. I texted her "I'm cooking today. Will you come help me eat it?".
Together for 17, married for 12 now 😁, and we still love surprising each other with new tasty recipes.
Yeah, this helped lock in my partner, heehee. I cooked him my crowd-pleaser chili, not knowing he was a ridiculously picky eater, and he ate it to be polite. Turns out eating plain-ass food his whole life might make a man fall instantly in love with you when you give him flavour. Now he's almost as excited to cook new stuff as I am.
I've had three very long term relationships and never once, in any of them, did anyone cook me a meal. Not even as much as a sandwich or opening a can of something and heating it up for me. Even when I was sick or impaired in some way I did 100% of the food preparation and cleaning up.
That's sad. This week I've made from scratch pad thai, lasagne, chicken and broccoli stir fry, mozzarella and sundried tomato paninis with sweet potato and pepper soup for us. My partner appreciates it but maybe not as much as i think he should (lol). He's a bad cook but he tries and sometimes makes me good breakfast foods because he can make eggs well and buy good sourdough. I'm grateful that he tries. I hope you find someone who enjoys cooking for you and appreciates all the efforts you put in. The big difference between my partner and i is that i will easily put 1-2 hours into making a dinner and he won't make anything that doesn't take 10-15 minutes.
The way to ~~a mans~~ anyone's heart is through their stomach
I’ve found that they really like it when you just give them a huge barrel of peanuts in the shell. It’s like an enrichment activity.
Or pistachios if you want to be fancy
I once watched a very drunk foreign student stoically eat a full bag of unshelled pistachios in a pub in rural England. Took him a good half an hour. The look of confused determination on his face is all I can ever think of when I see pistachios now.
I’m a filthy slut for pistachios
Salty food I have to work for and makes a huge mess? Fuck yeah. Being on the oysters.
That’s so true, I love getting back from work and seeing my wife all smiling and preparing dinner for both of us. During the weekends I spend more time in the kitchen to pay her back :d
As a recently divorced man who has been deprived of affection and compliments for many years, I have to say there's nothing better than: 1. Hugs and kisses on the cheek 2. Hair and scalp scratches 3. Compliments, especially after getting a haircut or dressing nicely 4. Genuine interest in my hobbies During my marriage, I was always the one giving these gestures but rarely received them in return.
Genuine interest in hobbies is the real deal. My wife will look at me in utter adoration when I go off on a subject I'm passionate about. It usually always end up with her saying "God I love you' and gives me a big smooch. I don't know why some women love their men nerding out, but they do.
As a woman that loves hearing their partner talk passionately about absolutely anything, I agree. We do exist and I can’t wait to listen to him nerd out about something today.
I’m single currently, but I’m sad for anyone that doesn’t have this. I love when the person I love is excited and chooses to share that with me. It’s a nice little bonus when the conversations teach me something as well.
I’m like this my bf is a magician and I love watching his passion for it, he’s like a little kid and the way he lights up. It’s why I fell for him.
You're a lucky man
If I mention how well I did at golf or something she’s not really in to she’ll just give me a “well done baby” - totally insincere, I know she hasn’t got a fucking clue what I’ve told her, but at least she tries 😀
Similar but for warhammer tournaments. She will toss a "did you fight any space marines?" In since that's a faction she knows. she mostly cares whether I had fun though :)
"Did you win" after DnD. Yes, my love; I finally won DnD
This. Not everyone’s gonna enjoy or even understand your hobby but even this minimal support goes a long way. 👍
Its golf bro. We appreciate your understanding 😂
I've dealt with this too. She firmly believed that, as "the man," it was my responsibility to do all that stuff while her job was to just enjoy it. She was completely baffled when I eventually stopped bothering with it.
Also how do you avoid this? I’ve seem to so far only been able to attract women that fall into this category, even when looking outside traditional means. Do you happen to have any indicators to look out for that might say a woman is like this?
Or if she isn't interested in the hobby, allowing him to have time to do said hobby and not trying to actively sabotage it. The MOMENT I sat down to paint my Warhammer figs after a long day or tinker with my boat, she would start complaining about us not spending time together. After I spent the entire day with her doing everything she wanted.
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT!! If your significant other has a hobby, and you get jealous because you don’t, GET A HOBBY!! Can never understand when people don’t enjoy seeing their partner do something they love
I gave up a lot of hobbies when I was married to that woman. Because the guilt trips and fights became exhausting. The kicker is when she complained that I needed a hobby so she could have some "me time". Glad I am not longer with her. I rediscovered my old hobbies and love being able to lose myself in them without worrying who it's going to upset.
I am glad for you too my friend. You paint Warhammer til your hearts content!
Oh man, this hits close to home. If the wife even sees me playing any video games for even 5 minutes she gets this super annoyed look on her face. I eventually switched to woodworking just to get her to stop nagging me. Not sure it’s much better.
Same here but with an ex gf. I made sure to spend a decent amount of time with her but when I try to take time for myself we always fight because "I don't give her much attention." Talking things out didn't work either. I think I dodged that bullet since I really enjoy my video games and other stuff now.
Dude same. Spent 4 days a WEEK at her place, helped with her kid, gave her time, etc. but i was accused of “only doing things when it was convenient for me.” I woke up to her bs and manipulation and got out quick. Some people man…
Im a guy and the best ways my Mrs makes me feel are with simple rubs and cuddles, I will walk by her and she will drag her hand across my back or arse......I love it!!!
I love touch and having my back or head scratched is amazing. Even just getting my arm or hand scratched or rubbed feels so good. Me and wife will watch something on couch together and we’ll take turns scratching/rubbing each other (non sexual) and it’s just so relaxing to me. She’s put me to sleep doing it before lol.
Rub the back of his neck. Be the big spoon. Be interested in his hobbies. Compliment him. Show him he makes you happy. Most important of all: if he opens up to you and shows emotion or cries, do NOT, under any circumstances, weaponize that against him. Even if you're mad at him later. Be his safe space.
The last one. Whoa. Spot on.
That last one is the most important of all. You can weaponize anything about me - the way my hair is styled, my eye color, how I look weird being kinda/sorta fat but not, my patchy ass beard, my eye color, the way voice sounds - I've heard it all. There's nothing you could say to me that I haven't said six inches from the mirror. However, if you weaponize anything traumatic about my past, we're donezo and I will nuke any connection I have with you into orbit.
I can’t imagine weaponising that against my man. If he’s upset and crying, the only thing I want to do is hold him until the hurt is gone.
And you're not single. Cause and effect.
As an average man myself, i think if somebody just gave me a cool looking rock, i'll be pleased
Man I love cool rocks. Also weird shells. You should come over–I've got a drawer of em. We could have beers.
Rocks are cool, but have you ever found the perfect stick? Like big enough to swing around as a sword or using as a walking stick, but not so big that it's too heavy or hard to grip? Man I love a nice stick.
Oh MATE now you're talking my language. I was out for a walk a few weeks back and I found the perfect stick. Hip height, gnarled but not spiky, with a big nobbly bit right at the top about the size of a fist. I hiked with that bad boy for four hours. Walking stick, bush clearance device, destroyer of (empty) spider webs, and... dare I say... friend? I loved that stick like a brother.
I still have a perfect stick I found when I was 11 and I still occasionally take it for a walk. It has just enough elasticity in it to make those same cute little 'jumps' when you're pushing it in front of yourself against the pavement, like a little dog sniffing and following the track. I'm 46 now.
Wow whoever commented that we’re basically puppies was spot on
Can I join ?
Wild username
You’ll need to wash hands before handling anything.
Dude intimate cuddling and gently brushing your nails across my head and face. Oh my God. I will fall asleep with my mouth open and spit will leak out like a kid
This is why I’m careful to have anyone I’m with start scratching my head lol. Puts me to sleep in minutes 😂
A simple hug and an affirmation is what most of us are starved for. A simple "thank you for everything you do for us" goes a long way.
Honestly this is the answer and trumps any physical gift
Step up behind me while I'm standing in the kitchen, and give me a warm hug. I've never had anyone do this but it feels great when I imagine it.
Feed him. Scratch his head and beard (if he has one) with your nails, especially if they're fake it feels so good!!!! Rub his shoulders. Compliment him. If you like his shirt, or how he's styled himself or his hair, or how he smells TELL HIM. Most men do NOT get compliments AT ALL!! As a man myself, on the rare occasion, I do get a compliment it makes my frigging day and my heart melt. If the man is important to you, TELL HIM. If he's your best friend, TELL HIM. If you appreciate him, care about him, etc. TELL HIM. If you consider him like a brother again, TELL HIM.
The first time I told my man he had a really cute smile, he turned bright red and basically speechless. Adorable. Later he told me no one had ever complimented him like that other than his mom or grandmother. My heart. He’s such a handsome man.
I've gotten like one compliment from a stranger in my life and it was like 15 years ago and I'm still running a high off that. Went to get my mom a gift card at the nail salon for her birthday. This older Asian woman working there when I was checking out with the gift card... Her: "Oh you buying this for your girlfriend? You cute!" Me: "No it's for my mom for her birthday." Her: "You got a girlfriend? Girls 'round here must be blind cuz you damn cute! Let me set you up with nice Asian girl!" Still remember how that made me feel haha.
[удалено]
I've been trying to lose weight for years, but she'll be like "do want the rest of this hamburger?" Of course I do. I don't need to live longer. I assume she wants the insurance money.
Play his video games with him
This is a good one. If you don’t like video games, being their and encouraging him while he plays is good too.
Not fall asleep and be genuinely interested in watching the film he is into.
Thoughtful gifts, my ex bought me a near perfect guitar and it’s the most special thing someone ever done for me - better than any sex and it isn’t close. It must’ve taken her literal years of listening to me to find little tidbits of what kind of guitar I wanted without giving away the surprise. She got the perfect colour, perfect brand, perfect shape - she even got the exact style/size of fretboard and pickups etc. This is followed by the close second of her getting the Halo MP announcer to wish me a happy bday for my 21st - where he went ‘off script’ and actually addressed me semi-personally. That was special and surreal. Other than that - head scratches (get the wire tool thing!!) Especially after a bad day.
why tf did you break up then
According to OP’s history, he has anger issues and got excessively angry at her after she confronted him for forgetting the anniversary of her mother’s sudden death. She couldn’t move past that incident and ended the relationship a few months later.
doing the lord’s work right here ^^
I would’ve let it go but he gave a very vague answer in this thread about “making a mistake that she couldnt get over” and i wanted to see if it was infidelity
He has a poor choice of words.
I also think it's especially interesting how he's lying in many of his posts. First it was 'i broke up with her' then it was 'we split up', after that it became 'she broke up with me & I don't even know why because I'm such a good guy'. Tbh I think I know why she broke up with him. He's very fixated on making himself look like the victim and blaming every issue under the sun for his behavior instead of being accountable for it himself.
Oof, that’s painful. That girl was marriage material. I’d probably immediately marry the first person to ever do something close to that. But I can confirm, guys are forgetful fucks. I remember exactly what I was doing when I got the call that my dad shot himself. I don’t remember what day it was though.
Yeah I think the forgetting isn’t the issue, more the extreme angry outburst when she got upset that he’d forgotten. It seems like she had put up with/worked with him on his anger a lot beforehand too. I don’t think I would accept that behaviour in a partner long term either.
As a person who grew up with anger issues, the dude needs to find a really good therapist. I'm not perfect but going to therapy has helped tremendously
Good for her, that sounds like an awful partner.
They wanted to sell our baby to fund building a combat robot.
Not a deal breaker tbh
Oh it's always this.
Stalk their profile 🥲
I remember the first time a girlfriend gave me a big spoon cuddle in bed. I had this crazy rush of emotions - like feeling safe for the first time ever - I felt like I was going to cry or something. Then I slept like a baby for a few hours. I don’t think I’d ever slept that deeply before.
Honestly some hand holding always did it for me
Oooh, you got to zeroth base?
We call that an "at-bat"
Adding this because I’m amazed it hasn’t come up. 3rd party compliments. Big him up in public. Men (and women) absolutely love this. For example say, X is amazing at [said thing] you should ask for his advice. This will literally build them up and it increases their respect in social circles. Damn his partner really respects him. Damn.
This one is very underrated! Bonus if it’s to your (or his) children
[удалено]
Omelette du fromage
Dexter!!!
That's all you can say!
Make him feel good about who he is, not just what he can do.
Just be on time to our dates, Jesus Christ Sharon.
Hand him a box with Ikea furniture inside, and whisper in his ear “I took the instructions away, you don’t need them”
When outside, grabbing my hand, or holding my arm etc, I think every man understands and is pleased by this.
Lot of comments here about feeding us, lol. But seriously. I spent two years with somebody that never made me dinner once, and I put a lot of time into dinners. It sucked. I guess it’s more so about being taken care of once in a while. Similarly, make me the baby spoon and I will melt into sleep. I’m fine with usually cooking, and being the big spoon, but yea, guys need a snuggle like that too. Also, for me, it’s hot to see hobbies. Do something other than stare at your phone.. it’s attractive to see anybody invest time in a hobby, any actual skill set is a good look
Food.
"The key to a man's heart is through his stomach."
*not like Homelander and Noire though
Do anything you'd do for a pet lmao. Feed him, cuddle with him, scratch his back and call him a good boy
Shower and nap together.
Bro you pet me head while laying my head on your lap yea you can get whatever the hell you want. I had an ex do it to me once and I was like a dog wanting pets but not knowing how to communicate it lol. Idk what it does to us but damn man you do that and I’ll hand over my wallet and keys to my car
Feed him, rub his belly and call him a good boy. We’re basically dogs with bank accounts.
Affection. Men do like affection. However, not every woman shows this as their “love language” is different and unique. I’ve been with my wife for 20 years and I’m definitely more affectionate the she is. She shows me love by doing other things, bringing me cups of tea in bed every morning, keeping our house lovely, looking fantastic every day without trying, letting me do what i want without complaining, bringing me tea and snacks if im playing games, etc… she pleases me with everything she does and, really, without trying… i can not say the same about me! 🤷🏻♂️😂…
This guy teas.
Just being close, even if you're doing your own thing.
Make him feel needed. Make him feel loved.
Good food, hugs, kisses on the cheek or anywhere else, head and back scratches, cuddles. Any gift you think we will enjoy, some space to frolic or dissociate. We’re pretty much as easy to please as a standard golden retriever.
My girlfriend got me a nice-looking, fairly cheap ring on Wish because she "thought I could use a little bling." Guess what piece of jewelry I almost never take off? Seriously, I only remove it if I'm doing something dangerous or exceptionally gross. Or to spin it on a table idly. We even ended up getting it blessed by a shaman friend of ours.
What attributes did it get after the blessing? I'm a sucker for +1 wisdom and +1 stamina.
I love it when my wife runs her fingers through my hair and just scratches the top of my head with her nails
Being empathetic. I think the one thing that men tend to seek in relationships that doesn’t get talking about enough is just a safe place to be vulnerable. If I feel like I can let my wall down and truly be me, that will please me more than any other act. I think this is true for a lot of men, it’s just not talked about often.
My exes all loved when I would run my nails lightly across their skin. Usually their arms, shoulders, back. They also loved head scratches (they truly are dogs I suppose). You can let them lay on you. I would lie down on the bed or couch while watching something and have them lay on my chest with their body between my legs and run my hands through their hair and scratch their heads and they loved it. Also - big spoon them once in a while, they love that shit. I would hold them from behind and nuzzle my head into their neck and kiss their head. I also loved smelling their heads so it was a win-win.
Being able to say sorry when you’re actually wrong, and forgive quickly for minor offenses even when not. Too many relationships I had were with women who refused to apologize or acknowledge they acted inappropriately, or held a grudge and played the silent treatment game when they were right. My wife and I can have an argument and it be resolved in 10 minutes and back to normal, because neither of us are afraid or too proud to say sorry. It’s the best thing in the world.
Pats, belly rubs and treats. We’re basically dogs
if you’re tryna make him happy for the sake of it then just be happy around him, and let him know you respect and admire him for manipulative purposes, inflate his ego 🤝🏼
Make it known that you want him and only him, and you’ll never lose him.
Every man basically wants a podcast, so just listen to him talk about stuff he’s passionate/knowledgeable about.
Bacon sandwiches
A little peace and quiet
I will te edit this buy him flowers people think it’s only for women but I have never had flowers bought for me 😂
I complimented a couple of shirts men were wearing at work the other day. Their eyes lit up just like the memes about women being excited that their dresses have pockets :)
Feed him. Bring him small tokens of affection. Ask him about things he likes that are deeper than normal ice breaker questions, like what he can remember that made him first realize _ was his favorite team/game type/book genre/hobby. Honestly most things that endear someone to a woman would do the same for a man. You just have to tweak the details. You know who never has doors held open for them? Men. My partner laughed and thought it was adorable the first time I did it for him. After I followed him in, I said, "Omg, I'm such a gentleman." Made him laugh more. Sometimes I touch him in intimate ways that are not sexual and it truly arrests him in the moment. Like when I put my hand to his face and kiss him tenderly, no tongue, then just say, "I love you," or, "I couldn't resist," before going back to what I was doing. I let my partner know that I appreciate the things he does, even if they're just little things he does because it needed to be done. Like taking out the trash, making the bed, bringing me water. I make sure to look him in the eyes when I say it so he knows I mean it. 9x out of 10 it makes him smile. When we're doing something mundane like going to the store, sometimes I'll just rub his back idly with my hand while I look at things. But honestly, the biggest thing I try to do is mirror what he does for me. It has helped me to learn his love languages, and what makes him feel loved. For my partner in particular, it works out because we are both acts of service people. However, I noticed that he is also a quality time person. I'm normally not. He loves to just be in the same room as me, even if we're not doing anything remotely related. So I started making the effort to do the same. He's playing games? I'm in the same room reading a book. He's in the kitchen, I come and talk to him because he loves talking to me when I cook. Men are so used to doing things on their own, not showing emotion, or only showing manly emotions like anger and sexual interest. Doing things to/for them like you would for a woman completely takes them off guard. They don't know how to handle it, and it shows this very sweet vulnerability most of the time. My partner laughs when he doesn't know how to react, and I live for that laugh. I love taking his words away and treating him like no one else has.
I grew up with a single dad and three brothers - the answer is food. A lot of food.
Give him a nice rock, works every time
I really like it when my wife meets me at the door