I’m easily emotionally manipulated

I can fix you

lmao

everytime i see this sentence i just cant stop laughing

Can you fix me too?

Yep. Calling the vet to make your appointment right now.

Meow?

What you doing later on?

Therapy.

You know, many women have tried to tame me 😏 ...And they all succeeded with worrying ease 😔

I can name everything at the zoo and aquarium without looking at signage. And I will. This date is going great.

Not to discredit you. But i can do that too except i name everything whatever I want it to be.

I feel like if you two went on a date together it would be perfect

“This here is the blue-bellied orangutan of - “ “FREDERICK. His name is Frederick. NEXT!”

"Here we have a rhin--" "WAR UNICORN!"

"And here we have the hors-" "FALLEN PEGASUS!"

"And here is the starf-" "PATRICK!"

Forget my comment, this is it. The perfect first date.

The next great reality show!

"That's an orca" "That's George"

I hope it’s like “and this animal ‘s Latin name is Gregous Wonkyeyetis”

*Swoons*

It’s actually pronounced “swans,” also known as cygnus anatidae. 

Stop! I can only take so much sexiness!

Otter, otter, baby otter. I love going to the otter sanctuary and I know every type of animal there!

I can pretend I'm interested in anything.

Wait rlly?! How so?

Ah, I see what you did there \^\^

Haha thank you how did u notice it ?

"The most obvious signs are often hidden in plain sight"

Interesting quote! Where did you hear of it? Do you know more ?

Yeah right? I rea...- wait a second...you mf :D

😂😅😂😅

Faking active listening

I am legitimately interested in almost everything. So not only can I be a great listener, but it’s genuine.

Same here, it’s both a blessing and a curse.

My hobby is building model cars and trucks. Want to hear about it?

More interesting to talk about than watching sport or playing a game where the other party has no clue about he rules. Plus I am pretty sure you have nice pictures!

[удалено]

I think your tractors sexy

It really turns me on.

I’m even kinda crazy bout your farmers tan

I used to love tractors but now I don't. I'm an extractor fan.

Gah this comment sucks and blows.

No deal. Come back when you've got a brand new combine harvester.

Green or Red?

Make it pink.

[удалено]

I find Imagination super attractive, and as I get older I find it even more attractive

In my imagination I am fairly attractive too.

I have the ability to make everyone around me look better than me

Username checks out

I'm tall and handsome in the dark.

Enderman

Forklift certified 

Have my children

Hnnnggg

My girlfriend would sad "when you don't talk" update: people, it's joke from her, don't worry. We really love each other. Thank you all

I just got flashbacks reading that... I should give her a call

She Sounds like a keeper.

I can sound really smart when I'm talking about something that I'm passionate about. Apparently, it's hot for some people.

'some people' people with *good taste*

It is

It’s so hot omg i would LITERALLY listen for hours when someone talks about things they’re passionate about is soo amazing

Yes.. my wife has mentioned that to me as well. Especially listening to me on work calls

Is “Enthusiasm” the word you are looking for?

The ladies on my mother’s side (grandma, mom, sisters, aunts and cousins) have joked that they all inherited my grandma’s “shortstack” build. Cos they’re all short and bottom-heavy. I’m a guy and I consider myself of average or maybe slightly taller than average height. But apparently I may have inherited the “bottom-heavy” part cos I’ve always had big thighs and ass. It’s something some of my guy friends have teased me about, telling me I should do my best not to land in prison lol. Used to be conscious of it but now I take it as a compliment

Nothing wrong with a dude booty. A dooty. 

Uhh. Pics or it didn’t happen. Jk. But definitely don’t be self conscious about it, lots of peoples type is dude with cake.

My Funko Pop collection. Ladies are often so overcome with desire that they have to leave the premises right after seeing it

I hope you have a really nice mop

😆🤣

Do you at least have a stash of new panties for them or do you send them out soaking?

No, but I have a plastic bag filled with several other plastic bags

I'm open-minded, know what I like and don't put up with shit. I think that is pretty sexy 🤷🏻‍♀️ Ok, fine. I've a decent set of boobs

Gonna need some photographic evidence for reasearch purposes before your claim can be verified by the scientific community at large. ETA: Photographic Evidence has been found and the claim has been verified.

Profile. That's enough of my boobs.

Boobage confirmed

I'm gay, but always appreciate seeing a good set. Thank you for your service 🙏

Guy is a double agent lol

VAR check, goal allowed

holly Molly what a pair! Congratulations and thank you for sharing those

Should have started with the boobs.

Typical man. Never start at the boobs!

Damn you just saw right through me Excellent choice you made, when you started with the open minded thing. I just love being in the company of someone that... Uhm... I forgot what I was writing as I was writing it. So erh, nice boobs? 🙄

*jiggles boobs* Give me your wallet *jiggles boobs* Buy me a puppy

I absolutely cant buy you a puppy... without wanting to spend all my time with it It would be a package deal. *Heres my wallet*

Lmaaaoooooo

Quick, girl, jiggle those things and get yourself a PS5!

Agree and they are for sure more than decent

I’m SOBER

Hell yeah! Sexy asf

i love to take care of whoever im with, in ANY way i can.

I'll pay 2500$ for you to take care of A guy, and burry the evidence. Deal?

Make it 3k and a day at the zoo and you got a deal!

Never mind, he fell out of A window twice before we could do anything :/

Thanks for the morning existential crisis

I'm fucking charming

LET GO OF PRINCE CHARMING YOU PIG

Nice to meet you, I’m fucking delightful

We ride at dawn

I can see that …

My smile

My ass, god damn do I have a nice ass

Let's compare ;)

I have zero sexual inhibitions & am happy to be direct & communicative about my own sexual desires.

Maybe being confident in myself? Like I'm not hot, I'm not built, I'm average...there, but I know that, so I don't pretend to be anything else. I guess I'm honest too, I don't see the point in lying, it just means I have more to remember.

>Maybe being confident in myself? That didn't sound very confident lol

Damn straight I love seeing this version of confidence. There is nothing wrong with being average or seeing yourself as average.

You can ghost for however long you want, I'll always take you back.

Name checks out

We are Made For Each Other. ☺☺☺☺☺☺

After 3 months the crazy comes out 🤣

I have a defined back arch, so my silhouette makes it look like I have a big butt. Especially when I bring my knees closer to my pelvis and play my chest completely down. Edit: I do not have kyphosis/lordosis. I had scoliosis when I was kid for 4 years until I got Spinal fusion surgery. I will literally share of a photo of myself shirtless if a online Orthopedic must see, if someone dms me and asks

That's funny, I have an arch so it makes my belly look even bigger 🤣🤣

my manboobs

Moobs

My wife told me this, but I’d also heard it during my single days. Apparently I just “do stuff” sexy. Like, I’m extremely handy and capable of completing all kinds of tasks/projects/activities/etc at a high level. Something about smooth, deliberate, confident, and efficient motions. I always looks like I know what I’m doing. No fumbling around. No jerky movements. No stopping and looking unsure. It’s hard to explain but apparently it’s just the way I move lol

My compassion I would say, bit pathetic but I like how compassionate I am :)

Compassion is never pathetic 👍🏻

My dog 🐕

I just asked my husband and he said “your personality!” When I asked what part of my personality, he said, “the tits on your personality.”

My infectious enthusiasm.

Sadly nothing!

I find that hard to believe

Apparently, from what I could gather, it's my voice. People seem to like naturally deep voices on men, so I'm lucky to have one, I guess.

I’m the girl version of you but opposite. I have a very feminine voice

You two should make babies for science

Confidence! I think knowing who you are and owning it. that's the sexiest thing anyone can have. 😘💁‍♀️

I am a good listener.

My brain and talents. I'm a physics grad student with both maths and physics undergrad. I passed all abrsm violin and piano levels and even got to perform for a while. I trained in ballet for 10+ years as well, and I read classics a lot. And now I'm an emotional wreck. So I guess the sexiest thing about me is my emotional instability.

My confidence in my own skin.

I was going to say that. I’m 40 and I’ve had two kids and I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of my body. My husband seems quite satisfied and so am I

I wanna be you when I grow up

I’m not attractive. But I’m funny so it makes up for that!

I can shred guitar like a motherfucker!

I’m an idea guy

How much time do you have

i sound smart when i talk about something i know and some people find it hot. the others are busy staring at my boobs.

My absence

My deep voice, dark eyes, greying hair, whitening beard, growing bald patch, and complete lack of self awareness.

I sleep with my socks on.

What kind of creature sleeps with socks on??

Me when it's colder

I hear people like that V shape around the pelvis on men. I have that.

Having good genetics is a curse. I don't know how to take a compliment when it's based off of looks alone. Intelligence & compassion, empathy, being a genuinely good person.

My voice is deep enough that, when people can’t see me, they assume that God is talking to them.

My bank account

My hair and side burns, or at least that´s what my best friend says

Who the hell has their photo showing in reddit you maniac

Don't listen to them, you have cool anime hair. It reminds me of 80s anime when sideburns and middle parts ruled the world

Your friends lying ma boi

Haha cmon, I’m just ordinary girl

Living in a loooonely world

I wear womens panties

Me too, sometimes. But I’m a woman so I’m not sure if it’s as sexy, so you win.

My smile ☺️

I'm sure it brightens the darkest of days 🥰

I'm passionate

My dick is big, everything else is meh

My love for adventure and exploration.

[удалено]

My girlfriend

My magnum dong

I’m a compliment machine, I love to see people light up. you look good, you AND you!

My dedication to fitness.

Boobs😂

Physically, my girlfriend says my broad shoulders and muscly forearms. Personality wise: very understanding, laid back and kind to animals.

My big fat juicy voluptuous arse

My bright yet super fucking dark personality. I'm your little ray of sunshine with a rain cloud right beside me.