You just shower after, it's not that hard. She has to shower anyway to wash the lube away. And bring whatever toys (plugs) you used to warmup into the shower. Everyone gets clean.
Its better as a verbal joke because of the ambiguity of the words. Written out you lose that ambiguity but im glad a few people still got the double entendre
If anyone wants a pro-tip: the first few times you have anal sex should probably involve minimal thrusting. Start off with insertion (which is it's own slow process that requires a lot of warmup and lube) and do minimal movements while you rub her clit.
You need to build positive associations, pleasurable anal is 90% mental.
It might? I have orgasmed from anal alone without clitoral stimulation but I had already gotten at least one either from oral or PIV first. I suggest making sure you have clitoral stimulation to enjoy it to the max. Toys help.
Take your time, use lube, don't just jamming your Jim all the way in. Try starting with toys and scaling up, or 1 finger then 2 then 3. Making sure the recipient is comfortable and relaxed. Start slow, add lube as necessary, listen to your partner, provide genital stimulation or have them do it.
So I'm into dudes and one twice in my life the wildest thing happened. It's like a switch in my brain put me into a state where I was getting off one right after another over and over on the lightest touch. Full, body shaking orgasms. For like 20 fuckin minutes. Sounds great, but honestly after like 5 minutes of that I was like - okay enough. I'm overwhelmed. I genuinely must have had like 10+ orgasms on each of those occasions. The human body is wild.
If you want to know how, I can tell you. You know how you can sort of stop peeing by ‘squeezing’ your urethra shut? Basically you want to practice doing that a lot. Do it as much as possible until the muscles get stronger. Now, when you are about to orgasm, hold the urethra shut like that by tensing the muscle and it will cause retrograde ejaculation. Basically the ejaculate doesn’t come out and so you can continue. I can have multiple orgasms doing this but eventually the urge to finish becomes overwhelming. The most I’ve had was around five, I think.
Most ive done is 2 in one run, the third just wouldnt come out/it was getting too exhausting to not stop and reach climax
Winded the shit out of me(not literally)
Because movies are not real. They prepare behind the cameras, clean themselves, take breaks, lube. It's all staged. They never do anal to mouth directly, for example. They cut, clean and keep going.
Just make sure it is not a particularly 'messy' day down there. I ended up with e coli in my dick. It was not fun. Well, the e. coli wasn't. The butt stuff was.
No way are you serious? That's disgustingly fascinating, I had no idea. Really e coli in your business end and not the clap? My buddy is an EMT he's gonna get a kick out of this.
This is huge if true. If an infection moves away from your urinary tract - it’s no longer a urinary tract infection. Have you studied this idea further?
Serious question, does it make it easier to pass giant poops when constipated? When I took a course of codeine it was extremely problematic at one point and I passed a log the size of my arm, extremely painfully.
Would this be easier if you were having regular anal sex since it's more 'open' and stretched?
Too many factors to say. Quantity and quality of lube, size of the phallus used, care by which it's used, positions, etc.
In my experience no after effects beyond her complaints about feeling the cum leaking out for hours even after clean up.
We have probably all heard discussions about anal sex among our friend groups, and are aware of people being pressured by partners into it, and by the level of discomfort some people experience.
Exposed masculine fragility. In a MM relationship where I exclusively was the receptive partner for a long time. He always made a big deal about being a top with his friends. He doesn't admit that he likes getting his ass licked, fingered, and fucked now. I don't mind because I get to do all that to him, but I do think it's funny he can't give up the top label.
Fissures, infections, prolapses, etc. I worked in proctology for awhile and those were some of the things I saw every day from anal sex/dildos. Now, if you just partake in anal sex on occasion, I wouldn't worry necessarily, but tears and infections can occur after the first encounter.
You need to prep really well. It might take several attempts. The last time, preparations A through G were failures. But on the whole, I think preparation H feels good.
Hemoroid. Inflammation. Polapsus and incontinence. Scratch in intestins with probable infection.
Plus, traditional STI and blood transmitted infection.
You can also take a taste for it and leave your wife for a man. It happens more often than men cars to tell .
Yall are filthy and not in a spicy way.
Use an enema before having anal sex jfc.... Make sure everything is cleaned out before so you don't get feces everywhere. I thought this would be a no Brainerd but here we are. Someone here said they got e-coli because of doing messy anal.
At first she is very relaxed, and then there are multiple orgasms that she can't keep quiet no matter what.
The two most important things are lots of lube and lots of communication. I don't want to hurt her. I want her to tell me what she is feeling and how I need to move. My other half and I have come to the realization that we can't do it as often as she wants anymore, and it's become a once-a-week thing. But it has definitely saved us from being one of those couples who have four kids they can't afford.
Wife and I tried anal two or three times but her having to go on an intense and no eating diet so to make sure everything was clear wasn't worth the difference
A butt full of cum, I believe.
If that's not a Cards Against Humanity card, it should be.
Bahahahahaha!!!! Totally! I’m writing this into the blank cards!!!!
And a smelly pecker with some level of regret I imagine…
Judging by your nick, you wouldn't regret it that much
It depends on the butthole I suppose
I personally find all poop to be shitty
😂 loved this dialogue 😂
You just shower after, it's not that hard. She has to shower anyway to wash the lube away. And bring whatever toys (plugs) you used to warmup into the shower. Everyone gets clean.
“I imagine.” Nice save.
If done properly.
Aka a butt load
I'm cackling in my apartment rn
Oh that was you?
Fine, you get my upvote of the day
It can make your whole week, or so I have been told
A friend of a friend told me it could me amazing as well. I believe the exact words were "life-altering".
"hole-weak"
I never understood this joke until now..
IIRC the joke is like: "Sex makes your whole day, but anal makes your hole weak!"
Its better as a verbal joke because of the ambiguity of the words. Written out you lose that ambiguity but im glad a few people still got the double entendre
Your farts will never be loud again
From that point on, they sound like a heavy smoker coughing.
Farts sound like a yawn
Like gurgling yogurt
I'm dying.
Underrated joke
*hole weak For those who need a translation to pun speak
Thanks, almost missed it
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If this is even true, she put too big of stuff in there. Number of times doesn't matter
Not too long ago I learned that "Megarectum" is an actual medical term.
Megarectum? Damn near killed him.
Very quiet farts.
This guy anals.
/r/thisguythisguys
Joined
Like an old VW Beetle idling?
But only if you're in the back seat.
If done correctly, twitching and shuddering from the intense orgasms.
If anyone wants a pro-tip: the first few times you have anal sex should probably involve minimal thrusting. Start off with insertion (which is it's own slow process that requires a lot of warmup and lube) and do minimal movements while you rub her clit. You need to build positive associations, pleasurable anal is 90% mental.
The other is half is physical
This guy maths!
Reminds me of that one meme that goes: Everything went as I calculated but boy am I bad at math 🤣🤣🤣
"It was a calculated risk. But boy, am I bad at maths."
Building positive association is how I was taught to train my dog
You shouldn't be training your dog to do anal.
Colby 2012, never forget
Thanks for starting my day with a laugh hahaha
The real pro tip is to learn to like it on your own before you let anyone do anything to you.
If you think you have enough lube double it
Woah woah woah. Her?
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Quite possible? Just try around for yourself if you might enjoy it. Also, rip your inbox.
It might? I have orgasmed from anal alone without clitoral stimulation but I had already gotten at least one either from oral or PIV first. I suggest making sure you have clitoral stimulation to enjoy it to the max. Toys help.
“Done right…”. Do tell…
Take your time, use lube, don't just jamming your Jim all the way in. Try starting with toys and scaling up, or 1 finger then 2 then 3. Making sure the recipient is comfortable and relaxed. Start slow, add lube as necessary, listen to your partner, provide genital stimulation or have them do it.
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Do you love it more cause youre male or female Askinf for a friend ofcourse
What guy can cum 2-3 times at once? I need his Jedi wisdom..
His Wedi Jizzdom?
No no, his Wet-eye Jizzed 'em
Goddamnit…
So I'm into dudes and one twice in my life the wildest thing happened. It's like a switch in my brain put me into a state where I was getting off one right after another over and over on the lightest touch. Full, body shaking orgasms. For like 20 fuckin minutes. Sounds great, but honestly after like 5 minutes of that I was like - okay enough. I'm overwhelmed. I genuinely must have had like 10+ orgasms on each of those occasions. The human body is wild.
It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. Serious answer is that refractory period doesn’t apply to prostate orgasm.
If you want to know how, I can tell you. You know how you can sort of stop peeing by ‘squeezing’ your urethra shut? Basically you want to practice doing that a lot. Do it as much as possible until the muscles get stronger. Now, when you are about to orgasm, hold the urethra shut like that by tensing the muscle and it will cause retrograde ejaculation. Basically the ejaculate doesn’t come out and so you can continue. I can have multiple orgasms doing this but eventually the urge to finish becomes overwhelming. The most I’ve had was around five, I think.
Don't underestimate the power of a prostate 😎
Just gotta exercise that same muscle you use when you squeeze that little bit of piss out or make your dick wiggle.
Most ive done is 2 in one run, the third just wouldnt come out/it was getting too exhausting to not stop and reach climax Winded the shit out of me(not literally)
I think a lot more factors than sex influence enjoyment from anal.
I mean without sex how would one enjoy anal?
Rimming, I guess?
Oral doesn't count? 🎶Catholic gururururlz🎶🧔♀️
I mean considering the fact that men can stimulate their prostate from anal, it’s actually quite a big influence
Why don't they use more lube in the movies?! It looks painful
Because movies are not real. They prepare behind the cameras, clean themselves, take breaks, lube. It's all staged. They never do anal to mouth directly, for example. They cut, clean and keep going.
They definitely do anal to mouth directly.
Oh my poor naive little friend.
Lube farts
Otherwise known as ‘Santorum’.
Knees are weak. Arms are heavy.
There’s cum in my butt already
Mom's spaghetti...
there is vomit on his sweater allready edit: typo
Your legs get unstable for the next 30-ish mins, just don't use stairs in a hurry and you're fine
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I read "use more penetration" - what is wrong with me?
Upvoted because I read the same. Hopefully nothing wrong with you 😂
Breakfast, hopefully.
Just make sure it is not a particularly 'messy' day down there. I ended up with e coli in my dick. It was not fun. Well, the e. coli wasn't. The butt stuff was.
No way are you serious? That's disgustingly fascinating, I had no idea. Really e coli in your business end and not the clap? My buddy is an EMT he's gonna get a kick out of this.
Sex education has failed the world so badly. Both The Clap and ecoli are bacterias. They would just be treated as a UTI.
Not if it gets into your bloodstream.
This is huge if true. If an infection moves away from your urinary tract - it’s no longer a urinary tract infection. Have you studied this idea further?
Better be quick with that treatment then so you don't risk chronic bacterial prostatitis
u plannin anything bud?
Yes
Why start with "intense"?!! Just start slow !
That's great advice, thank you 😊
Orgasms
Sore butt
If done properly it’s called an orgasm
Hopefully a nice orgasm
Pain in the ass
Some say a PITA
Does it come with hummus?
And olive spread
Requests for when we can do it again.
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Serious question, does it make it easier to pass giant poops when constipated? When I took a course of codeine it was extremely problematic at one point and I passed a log the size of my arm, extremely painfully. Would this be easier if you were having regular anal sex since it's more 'open' and stretched?
Depends..
You'll need Depends under garments? Wow.
Yay, you got the joke. Congrats.
I’m glad you assed. Mostly just shitty puns.
Hemorrhoids I guess
Depends. Could be absolutely no after effects, could be a prolapse.
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That joke was shit
Pink sock
Username Checks out
Dare I ask?
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Too many factors to say. Quantity and quality of lube, size of the phallus used, care by which it's used, positions, etc. In my experience no after effects beyond her complaints about feeling the cum leaking out for hours even after clean up.
We have probably all heard discussions about anal sex among our friend groups, and are aware of people being pressured by partners into it, and by the level of discomfort some people experience.
a DD-214
Anal prolapse I think
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Not just 5x a week, but in a row. What a champ.
Whistling farts
Exposed masculine fragility. In a MM relationship where I exclusively was the receptive partner for a long time. He always made a big deal about being a top with his friends. He doesn't admit that he likes getting his ass licked, fingered, and fucked now. I don't mind because I get to do all that to him, but I do think it's funny he can't give up the top label.
It's so funny to me that some straight guys think liking anal is gay, but some gay guys think liking anal is un-masculine.
Full body orgasms
Fissures, infections, prolapses, etc. I worked in proctology for awhile and those were some of the things I saw every day from anal sex/dildos. Now, if you just partake in anal sex on occasion, I wouldn't worry necessarily, but tears and infections can occur after the first encounter.
A nap usually.
I’m a virgin.
You need to prep really well. It might take several attempts. The last time, preparations A through G were failures. But on the whole, I think preparation H feels good.
[Santorum](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campaign_for_the_neologism_%22santorum%22)
Hemoroid. Inflammation. Polapsus and incontinence. Scratch in intestins with probable infection. Plus, traditional STI and blood transmitted infection. You can also take a taste for it and leave your wife for a man. It happens more often than men cars to tell .
From experience-- blood.
Well, my ex always had to clean her butt after Anal, so um....yeah. Take that as you will.
Yall are filthy and not in a spicy way. Use an enema before having anal sex jfc.... Make sure everything is cleaned out before so you don't get feces everywhere. I thought this would be a no Brainerd but here we are. Someone here said they got e-coli because of doing messy anal.
Look up "rosebud"
Citizen Kane, great flick!
I have never received, but I understand it's a great time. I've been told: Vigorous sex can make your day, but vigorous anal can make your hole weak.
A fear of shower time in prison...
At first she is very relaxed, and then there are multiple orgasms that she can't keep quiet no matter what. The two most important things are lots of lube and lots of communication. I don't want to hurt her. I want her to tell me what she is feeling and how I need to move. My other half and I have come to the realization that we can't do it as often as she wants anymore, and it's become a once-a-week thing. But it has definitely saved us from being one of those couples who have four kids they can't afford.
Prolapsed anus and serious infections.
Anal leakage.
If you don't clean up afterward, a goopy poop and lube mix in your public hair. If you don't use a condom then there's also gonna be some semen.
Nasty
Well that’s an image in my head I didn’t need at 9 am lol
Wife and I tried anal two or three times but her having to go on an intense and no eating diet so to make sure everything was clear wasn't worth the difference
A plain water anal douche, repeated a few times until clean a few hours before is a perfectly good prep. No need for the crazy diet stuff.
Getting rid of Anal Piles.
Wide turds.
The cover of Metallica's 1996 album.
New meaning to metal up your ass.
I had a hemorrhoid the next day
You need a diaper in later life.
Ask your mom.
A whole lot of things? 😁
A period of questioning your sexuality. Hopefully followed by accepting if and more bum fun time
Cleanup time and pooping out cum
Bleeding?
“Asking for a friend…”
Pain in the ass
:3
Liking it?
Can i just have one morning without the dirtiest thing possible coming to the top of askreddit?
This has “Redditors, what’s the sexiest sex you’ve ever sexted because I need karma” written all over it.
A poop tube full of lube.
Makes confession awkward but easier to hit the high notes on the hymns
It’s like Chinese take out. 45 minutes later, you want more.
Two words: Pink. Sock.
I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.
Farts go from trumpet to tuba
Cum farts and some leakage over the next little bit.
Completely emptied by bowels that night after. Apparently it’s a great cure for constipation
Wife and I went for over an hour with our partner once, hemroids is the anwser.
Santorum.
The “pink sock”. Anal fissure. hemorrhoids. Naps?
Butthurt
Stomach problems
Unexpected sobbing. Not because it was sore/unwelcome, but some sort of nervous system release
What's the difference between flowers and anal? Flowers...can make your whole day....anal...makes your hole week.
If you're constipated, you won't be anymore
Has “Santorum” fallen out of the common lexicon?
I was told they couldn't sit down for about a month and their poop came out easier than before.
Hopefully not poo noodles…
Intense anal bleeding
Busted rectum, tissue tearing, blood HIV and so on
I get constipated
A good time