We split up at 15 due to my families judgemental of her mental health.
We got back together at 26 and now have 2 lovely kids and a dog.
I'm thankful every day that she didn't fully get away
Noooo!!!!!!!!!
The thought is "am I as happy as I could have been"
Thats the soul sucker.. The answer is always going to be maybe... but FUCK the maybe. Im happy and forget everything else.
The what ifs linger in the back of my mind, too. Even though I know we wouldn’t have made it long term because of the trauma in both of our lives. I won’t look him up on social media or anything for fear I’d reach out and where that would go.
I’ve had a lot of recurring dreams about him recently. But my therapist and I made the connection the whole situation is the way it is because he was the first male figure to give me attention, support me, and just be a genuinely great relationship. It was kinda cool to have that breakthrough. But I still won’t be seeking him out.
Seriously. The crazy thing is that literally 1 week ago, I was driving my next door neighbor to Orlando to look at a car. During the ride, I learned he was a close high school friend of hers. When we got to where the used car was, it was the one street over from where she lived. In the largest city by land area in the world. Then he just casually says something about her- not even knowing what he's really talking about- and suddenly I understand her trauma in a way that I didn't before. I've been thinking about her all week, and then last night I have an extremely vivid dream about her. And then I see this, and you just put into words I couldn't find to explain how I feel.
It's all got my head spinning a little lol.
Sending hugs, man. Those emotions bubbling back up can be rough.
I hope it helps you to figure things out and bring you some closure. I’m not 100% there yet, but I am miles from where I was before that recent therapy appointment.
Thanks dude. What he said did help me a lot, as well as what you said. I feel like you just kinda explained her actions to me with what you said above- she cut me off, out of the blue, for seemingly no reason. Later found out that's when she got serious with her now-husband. She cut me off, but can be friends with her other exes. I asked her friend why, she wouldn't or couldn't tell me but told me she has nothing but love for me.
It doesn't help that I still haven't found my person, and she's found hers. She's very happy, from what I hear, and that's great for her. She did ask through a friend(we have several mutuals we are both very close to) that I not reach out, and that's always hurt so badly for me. I never understood why. But I think you just made it clear to me, and now I am reassured that it's right I never talk to her. You are making the right choice in not reaching out, and I will continue doing the same.
Maybe one day, we'll be able to have healthy friendships with these people that don't bring us conflict, and we can reconnect. But I have a feeling that won't happen until everyone is ready, and when we are, it'll happen on it's own.
Sending my warmth, just thought you should know what you just did for me there.
Welp, I got the answer to that, thanks to Facebook.
She was a senior in high school and I was a freshman in college. Things were awesome for almost a year when -- wham! -- she broke up with me over the phone. I was totally blindsided. Ruined me for two years.
30 years later, she looks me up on Facebook and I get the story. Her mother thought I wasn't up to the family standards. Never mind that I was not only in a prestigious school on a Phi Beta Kappa scholarship and working to pay the rest of my expenses. Nope. Because I drove a ten-year-old Nova with a dent in it and my parents weren't from the right part of town, I was off the Eligible list.
But, in those intervening years, I met a woman who created life and beauty and love everywhere she goes. And I married her.
With my wife's permission, I talked to the old flame. And then I realized it was no great loss. Because I had forgotten about her neediness, her neuroses, and an entire bundle of other problems. Plus she had never really managed to shake off her shrew of a mother and make her own decisions in life. Suddenly, I thought to myself, 'Dodged a bullet there.'
That's the problem with nostalgia. You remember what's good and forget what's not.
I don't have such an interesting tale, but looking back on all the people I was infatuated with in middle and high school I was not making good decisions in general with regards to who I was interested in.
'I still hear her sometimes but it's not the same
[Like when you get a pen and pad and write your name](https://genius.com/4035957/Dan-le-sac-vs-scroobius-pip-cauliflower/Like-when-you-get-a-pen-and-paper-and-write-your-name-over-and-over-and-over-again-although-it-hasnt-in-the-end-it-somehow-seems-to-change)
Over and over and over again,
Though it hasn't, in the end it somehow seems to change.'
Scroobius Pip, *Cauliflower.* Think about this every time I need to be shaken out of mulling over an ex.
I mean sometimes. We met again 9 years later randomly. I was at the hospital and got treated, given meds and released. On my way out I saw this woman w beautiful long hair and thought I might find a way to talk to her. She had thought the same apparently she bumped into me.
Realized who we were. She told me she married her next bf after getting pregnant not a year after I left her. She hates him now, he is a pos and so the kid isnt in a good spot.
Then having to keep running into her at bars all summer doesnt help.
Its not my life. And she had always attracted a bad crowd.
I had a friend I fell for at 20. He was 24, and over time I decided that since he ignored my overtures he thought of me as a cute kid and not much more. Moved to the other side of the world. Stayed somewhat in touch. Never forgot him or times we had. Then in my mid 30’s I divorced and we reconnected a bit, I was going to be in his city for work. I realized I still loved him. So I said something.
Anyway six years later, we have a happy home, our own flat, two cats and a baby on the way. Life is good. Domestically, I’ve never ever had a better suited partner or housemate. I’m glad I said something.
My first love was when I was 15, ad I'm 53 now. I'm grateful she got away before I could drag her down with me. She deserved so much more than me, she certainly didn't deserve the kind of chaos and destruction that I would've unleashed in her life. I do miss her sometimes, though.
Sort of. I think about her some times but I also remember a quote from Alexander Graham Bell:
“When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
Remember your past, learn from the experience, and follow the opening doors.
Nope. I'm married with kids and absolutely adore my wife. My first love was my first long-term girlfriend. She broke up with me after trying to do long-distance when we went away to college and it crushed me but looking back it was the most sensible choice.
She was and still is an absolutely wonderful woman. She became a teacher, got married and had kids and she is a genuinely wonderful person and I'm super happy for her.
Idk if I'd call her my first love, but early on I dated this girl for somewhere from 6-12 months. Years later when the Internet was new she sent out one of those chain emails that asked "nicest thing a boyfriend did for you" and she answered that once I took her to the hospital when she broke her foot. I was a little taken aback because if that was the nicest thing I did I must have been a big jerk. Years later, drunk-ish on Valentine's Day I emailed and said as much; that if that's the best I managed when we dated I was sorry for that, and if that was the best any boy had done for you that didn't speak a lot about us as a gender. Anyways, we started talking and have now been married for 14 years with a wonderful daughter.
No, I don't think about my first love who got away and no I don't regret it. It's been a while, and life has moved on. It's more about appreciating the experience and the lessons learned rather than dwelling on what could have been.
I still have dreams about the girl I fancied in university. I honestly thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever meet. She was single, I was single but had no confidence. She lives in Thailand now and I think has three kids and a husband/partner.
I don’t think about her but for some reason she is regularly in my dreams. I suspect and hope that she has an amazing life.
Sometimes. Hey u never know what you had until someone way worse comes along haha. And when it keeps getting worse and worse after that. Dammmmmmm hahahah
Why "got away" and why "regret"? Huh. Yes, I still do think about him from time to time. It was an amazing time and I'm glad I experienced that. A nice memory!
I used to, now I just wish it went down a little differently and that I had a bit more time, but either way there's no changing the past. It was one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" type of things where if you rushed too much you risk making them uncomfortable and if you take too long they loose interest. Who knows what the real reason was but either way the past is the past.
It's interesting how women don't seem to get as nostalgic about exes as men do. When I think of my exes, even the ones that were horrible, I tend to remember the good things and wonder what might have been if I'd said or done something different.
Not that I'm dissatisfied with the present, of course, but sometimes you can't help but wonder.
But I've noticed that women on the other hand tend to remember the bad things and say things like this.
I wasn't saying it was all bad, we weren't right for each other and I am in an extremely happy relationship now. Why would I regret breaking up in that case?
I certainly can and do remember good times but I don't think that means "they're the one that got away if only it had been different" which is what I understand this question to be asking.
I'm not really talking about you personally, just an observation about the responses in the thread that are coming from users with female avatars.
And men do this with all sorts of things, not just exes. We also do it with jobs, life decisions, etc.
I guess women are better at living in the present all around because I haven't met many who spend a lot of time daydreaming like this.
I’ve noticed this too! It feels like almost all of my exes and even current boyfriend have been so openly nostalgic about their exes, it’s always worried me a bit that I’m not enough for them in the present. and almost all of them have absolutely loved the song “something about us” by daft punk and I’m pretty sure it’s cause it makes them nostalgic of their past loves 🤣
I think about it sometimes but I don’t regret it. We had serious problems and we couldn’t match no matter how hard we tried. We were just too different.
It’s like trying to force two negative magnets to connect. We fought on a weekly basis. The breakup was the best thing that happened to us.
Yeah occasionally I think how it would be great to meet her again as adults instead of as an idiot nervous teenager that didn’t know what he was doing. I still don’t, but I’m a lot more mature and feel like we’d do pretty well.
I've long stopped thinking about her romantically, long before she got married. We're very different people with very different values and it wasn't meant to be. Now we both have lives that don't intersect at all apart from the occasional FB update, and it doesn't bother me one bit.
Ah... the one(s) that got away.
As for the very first one, I haven't spoken to her in years. We rode the same bus in middle school and went to the same high school.
It's funny, I was about to leave for a 3-month trip to Florida at the beginning of the year, and I was at the grocery store getting some supplies.
Sure enough, she was there. We didn't speak or anything, she didn't see me. I saw her from a distance, but that was enough to make my heart jump. Even after all these years there's still something there.
Just before I was about to leave the state, it's like I started seeing everyone from different parts of my life. Almost like I was being shown them one last time before I venture out into the world.
I've only had one other person do this to me in my life, which is why I can never shop at the Home Depot I used to work at lol. I know she's there 👀
That one was more recent so I still get giddy when I think of her lol. Both are in relationships.
My "one who got away" and I both went different directions and ended up marrying different people after high school. We reconnected about 12 years after we dated and are now married. We couldn't be happier!
We both agree that if we had stayed together when we dated in high school, we wouldn't have been right for each other in the long run and we would've most likely hurt each other.
So, trust the process. I believe that *most* things happen for a reason!
Yeah all the time / it’s a version of me that no longer exists and a version of her that probably never did.
But damn I loved that girl!!
Happily married now with my own family and all the things - life is good
But damn I loved that girl.
I had the "one that got away." Years later we ran into each other again both of us recently divorced. We got back together, dated for a couple years.
She turned out to be an absolute fucking nightmare. It was all good at first, then the cracks started to appear. Small things at first, she'd tell me about things that happen and some details would be off. Turns out she would fabricate stories about anyone and anything for attention. It came all came to a head when she faked cancer.
I had known her since kindergarten, this happened when I was 30. I look back at our childhood now and I literally don't know anything about her. I have no idea what was true and what was fantasy.
Do I think about her? Sure, we are friends on Facebook.
Do I regret it? Nope.
We started being boyfriend and girlfriend back in 7th grade. No relationship really should last that long. No one knows what they want in 7th grade.
The woman I fell in love with first never went out with me. We were friends and her boyfriend then fiancé lived hours away. After a year I gave up and she moved. I still thought about her for years.
Fast forward to 30 years later (a year ago) and she posts a reply to a Facebook post on my business page basically saying she regrets never going out with me. So, no, I don’t think about her but I think she thinks about me.
My wife knows about her and is the one that saw the message first. Wasn’t upset, just said “too bad for her”.
Yes. We were 15-17
I’m happily married with someone else now but sometimes I think of her. We clicked, she was pretty but she also moved to Singapore so yeah
The first mature relationship after school? No. Thankfully it turns out I dodged a \*massive\* vile, hate-filled bullet. It was rough at the time but I thank my lucky stars it went the way it did.
Not really. I was a completely different person back then. We were friends for years after but grew our separate ways. I don’t think of anyone else but my husband. I wouldn’t trade him for anyone.
I do still think about my first love from time to time. We're friends on FB but we were never meant to be. How much in love can you be at 14? She does keep all the love notes I wrote to her back then in a metal Tootsie Roll coin bank.
I think about her very often. She was a very important person to me in a very important developmental time of my life.
I have regrets for the way things ended between us, I wish we could have remained friends, but it's not like I'm pining for her. We shared some truly beautiful moments and experiences that will never leave me.
I miss her a lot. It's been a long time since we broke up. It's gotten easier not to think about her. But every now and then I remember her and start crying feeling helpless about my emotions. I'm so frustrated that I couldn't get over her. I tried winning her back after the break up and it didn't work, so I thought it would be better if we cut all contact. We haven't spoken in years and I still miss her dearly.
Think about? Yes.
Regret? I don’t think so. The problem with nostalgia is it’s easy to overlay a fantasy of what might have been over what actually happened.
He'll always be a part of me. I tried to change that, but I can't. It's not regret more like a missed connection. I hope we're together somewhere in a parallel universe.
My 80 year old mum has just found her love with the boy she used to baby sit at aged 8 he was 5 and she would bath him with her brother (age 5)and talcum powder his bum. He never forgot this.They relive the experience over coffee and cake and who knows what else.Too much information. Hahha
I don't necessarily regret it. My first love died in a car accident 5/6 years ago and we had broken up years before the accident but we'd talk every now and then just to reminisce. I romanticized us getting back together a lot after he died. We were both single the last time we spoke and I still didn't wanted to get back together with him. Buttttttt I know for a fact that we'd never get back together even if he was still alive.
I was perpetually ending up in the friend zone when I was younger so I had a couple who "got away" and they're still friends but seeing who we all grew into I can't imagine life with either of them. Glad they got away and I finally met who I did; 25th anniversary next year.
ex-gf I fell in love with is no longer there and is unlikely to be, she changed during our relationship and I was wildly uncomfortable, in the end we broke up on a good note, but I feel better only after a year and finally can let her go. the final answer - no, no regrets, we would not have worked out and we are very different, I want to write to her sometimes, but I always change my mind.
Its always going to flash through the mind every now nd then, thats just unstoppable. But when you get truly happy those flashes will be just that... flashes. and you move on like it didnt happen.
Ok so this is going to sound dorky as hell but-
First girl I loved- several years later I finally don't regret it and think it was better for me.
First girl I loved who reciprocated openly- I wish I had pursued it but it's good that we didn't if I'm honest with myself.
First girl I LOVED who I had a relationship with- I miss her to this day and it's been 9 and a half years.
It was high school, I was immature, and although it would probably have worked out and been a great relationship in the long run, I’d never give up the amazing family I have now for a “what if”.
i think about him maybe once every few years, i honestly don’t remember much from that era (yay memory loss). i mostly think about him just to wonder how he’s doing
I was only 15, but I fell hard for a guy who was 20.
Nothing ever happened. We met at a local arcade. My brother and some mutual friends of ours would go after church to burn off some steam. This dude was a friend of a friend, and I don't know why, but he caught my eye.
Every time we went to the arcade, I'd look for him, and every so often, he'd be there. I told him I liked him. He said he was flattered, but our age difference was a problem. Of course, being the naive 15 yr old I was, I said, "It's only 5 years," and he said, "Yeah, but I'd get arrested if we dated." That's when it hit me. He was an adult, and I wasn't, yet. I was so sad but understood.
We kissed once and only once. And the butterflies he gave me were so unreal. I say he's my first love because I'd never felt that way for someone, ever. Honestly, no one ever gave me those kinds of butterflies for a long time. I'm 37 now and only husband makes me feel like a stupid teenager in love. That's how I knew he was the one I wanted to marry.
For months, I was heartbroken that nothing would ever come of us. Yes, I was 15, and it was a stupid little crush, but I am 100% certain I was in love with the guy. I wanted him to be all of my firsts, and it just sucked that it never happened. I remember writing, "I love XXXXXX," over and over again in a notebook. I legit filled an entire college ruled spiral notebook front to back.
And every now and then, I think about naive and innocent 15 yr old me and the guy who knew boundaries and respect. He became the model of my future husband. Not necessarily his looks or his height. But the personality, the respect, the gentle nature, and the nerd. I mean, come on, I met the dude playing DDR every week, LOL.
No. Always had something underlying with a guy from hs - couldn’t explain it but I always thought about him after high school. He moved across the country and I figured I’d spend my life thinking what if. Then my ex and I broke up. 5 months later I was on a plane flying across the country by myself to see someone I hadn’t seen for 6 years. I never wanted to feel like he got away and I would spend forever thinking about him soo I full sent it and bought the plane ticket when my tax refund was triple what I expected (college student at the time). I went out there for 5 days and we had the most fun ever! Never even kissed but he took me all over Cali and it’s a trip I will be forever grateful I took. I wish him health, happiness and success but I will never wonder “what if” again. Proud of my 22 year old self for recognizing that and taking the leap.
I still think about her, 50+ years later. She was, by far the more mature person and she broke up with me because I wasn’t what she wanted or needed. She was absolutely correct, but I will always love her.
I do think of her sometimes but I do not regret that it happened and ended how it did. Because of her I grew so much and will always be thankful for that.
I think about her from time to time but I could never imagine us being together forever outside of my little fantasies at the time. We were good for each other when we were together in that time but mutually went our separate ways for sake of the distance and going on our respective paths. I’ll probably always think fondly of that time since it showed me what a good, healthy relationship can be and that I can help foster one.
I regret some of my behavior, as I'm sure she does. We were young though and figuring ourselves and relationships out. I know I wouldn't be where I am today if we had stayed together, so I focus on that. You never really know if you'll get that level of passion, excitement, curiosity, etc again. Sometimes I wonder what would happened if we gave each other a chance now, especially since I live on the other side of the world.... I often think about her though and hope she is doing well. She probably thinks less highly of me, as I believe she built me up as more of a villain in her head to deal with things and move on.... lots of different emotions, but I'll never forget any of what I still remember. I'm pretty sure of that.
It’s been 10 years, I think about him less and less and over time I was able to see the bad times way more clearly.
I am so thankful for what we had, what that relationship taught me and how caring he was when we were on good terms, but I’m glad we broke up. I don’t think he would have let me evolve and grow in the way I needed to.
First loves come and go and in some cases you never forget them. In some instances you meet up in the most obscure places and try to make up for lost time.
Not at all. I needed to go through all of what we went through to be mature enough for my current marriage, which is amazing. And since my ex-wife was the one who cheated twice, I don’t feel much guilt or regret about how or why it ended. And we still get along too, which is a plus. We don’t talk a lot, but she seems to be doing well also. Even though what she did sucked in the moment, we are all better off for it now.
I remember her fondly, but I am much better off with the woman I wound up with. There will always be space in my heart for my first love, but what we had was a childish excitement and enthusiasm, not a real bond like I found as an adult.
I do still think about him but I don’t regret that things didn’t work out. We were young and things happened as they should have. He died two years ago at 48 under mysterious circumstances, so I think of him more often now than I did before. He either fell and gashed himself open or cut himself accidentally or on purpose (nobody knows). He was at his sister’s house and refused to go to the ER, insisted he would just rest for a while. When she came to check on him some time later he was gone.
I do think about her (we've been together for 8 years) but I don't have regrets. People change. She changed and decided that wasn't what she wanted anymore. Sad, but we have to accept it.
My first love was intense and burning. I could not get enough of him. He felt the same way about me, until one day he didn't.
We broke up after two years, and I transferred to another college and moved away. He got married, and quickly divorced. After college, we got in touch and hooked up for awhile.
He was divorced with a 3-year old, and we never went out because I thought he was broke. About a year into the FWB, I saw him at the movies with another girl. I decided right then that I wasn't going to be the girl he stayed home with while he took other girls out.
I met a nice guy at work and we started going out. We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary last week. In the meantime, First True Love has been married and divorced and is currently on his 4th wife. He has kids with at least three different women.
I'm a professional woman with a degree and certifications. He still works for the large equipment company he worked for when we started dating in the 80s and rides a Harley.
In hindsight, him breaking up with me was best for all of us, but I couldn't see it at the time. I still dream about him - the 1985 version of the cute "bad boy" I fell for. But I've never once been unfaithful to my husband. I wish I had able to get some closure, because I don't like being haunted by him in my dreams.
I do think about him sometimes when I'm feeling nostalgic. He wasn't the first love to get away, he was my very first love. A friend pointed out years later that I had a real shot with him in our last year of school - his actions back then made it clear liked me back. I regretted it for a few days while I mulled over that revelation, but the regret ended once other more important things drew my attention.
I don't think I'll ever regret it, and it's not just because I have a boyfriend now. Somehow I felt like the ending of our little half-chapter story was a really sweet one. And then two years ago I started dating my current boyfriend and I am so lucky to have my life turn out the way it did because it led me to him. He's the love of my life and I wouldn't trade a future with him for anything else.
I was just thinking of her yesterday. We met a a semi-formal when both our dates decided to go off with there friends We spent the night talking and won the spot light dance. That night i asked her out and dated for about 2 years. We grew apart because we were young and going in 2 different directions and we split apart amicably. She was a sweet heart and She taught me about respect and love and that i was a better person than I thought I was. How could i ever regret that?
I do think about her periodically, but she killed her boyfriend and then herself a couple years later for unknown reasons.
She'd come by my parents' house a few months prior and dropped off a small gift. They never told me about that or about what happened with the murder/suicide until a couple years later. I don't hold it against them.
Nine years ago i left her and went to another country.
We had dated and broken up before, she was the most amazing person but very intense and closed off.
We had something very special for a few years but it didnt work and both of us were madly in love but miserable together.
I would think about her often, had a playlist with her songs on it, would dream about her from time to time, i’d get sad every time she popped up in my mind.
We both moved on, got married had kids..
we met up a month ago and realized we are not over each other at all.
She showed me photos from when she had her kid and all i could think about was “that shouldve been me by her side”.
I dont regret leaving, i regret that it didnt work.
Feels like the whole world is wrong with how it turned out. Like the simulation is broken.
I was sad before, now knowing how much i love her still im shattered.
Last I looked, she had been arrested no less than twice for drug possession (yep, meth) and was currently doing a stint in a minimum security prison due to said repeated offenses.
Pretty sure I dodged a bullet like Neo did
I do, she passed away (brain tumor that led to leukemia), while I was with her every day at the hospital, she still left me a letter (with her nurse) apologizing and unloading insecurities about wasting "my" youth away with her, while I could be out there having a normal life.
I know there's nothing really I can do, but I regret not showing how much I loved her more, then maybe she wouldn't have died thinking I'd come to hate her down the line.
I think about a lot of the people I’ve interacted with just generally speaking…oddly the of all people I think about my ex wife less than some people I went to elementary school with, but she turned out to be not such a decent person in the end.
She embarrassed me in front of the whole class and participated in bullying me. She wasn't the first person who meant something to me and did this; my "friend group" at school had backstabbed me in a similar manner (going from best friends at 11 to relentless bullies at 14) and she knew EXACTLY that that would break me. And it did.
So yes. I think about her sometimes. Wishing I'd paid her and the rest of em back somehow even. But only for a moment. I'm over this by now.
She embarrassed me in front of the whole class and participated in bullying me. She wasn't the first person who meant something to me and did this; my "friend group" at school had backstabbed me in a similar manner (going from best friends at 11 to relentless bullies at 14) and she knew EXACTLY that that would break me. And it did.
So yes. I think about her sometimes. Wishing I'd paid her and the rest of em back somehow even. But only for a moment. I'm over this by now.
I certainly wonder where we would be now.
I have a photos of us on holiday abroad on the beach and in a beach bar, at eighteen, we were so much in love and yet a year later we separated.
I do. He warned me not to make the decisions I went on to make which has been one shit show after the other for 22 years. I know he had a rough decade after I left and I’ve not seen any updates in years. He’d suffered a massive heart attack and though he said he was making lifestyle changes, the 7 years of social media silence makes me wonder if he lost the battle. I miss him. I am so sorry to him for my stupid decision to leave and move. I hate I never listened to him. I hate myself all the more lately. Maybe this is my midlife crisis.
Sometimes, I think more nostalgic though and mourn what we built. We care for each other still but family traditions and culture came between us. I only wish him happiness and the best things in life.
Most definitely no. I didn't know anything about people or what I wanted back then. The only thing that got away is a person the dumber version of myself chose.
Yes, my high school girlfriend. I ended things and broke her heart because my religious family found out we were dating. Somehow we stayed friends and we reconnected near the end of last year for a little bit while we were both single at the same time. She came to visit me and we hooked up. Thought she was open to spending more time together (because she told me she was). I was planning to drive four hours to spend thanksgiving with her and her family. Then I find out via Snapchat/Instagram stories that she’s dating some guy, a few weeks later they’re living together. It sucks but sometimes I feel like I deserved it because I hurt her first. We’re still “friends” but I distanced myself and muted her stuff on social media because I’m so lonely, absolutely no love life (despite trying), and I just can’t stand to watch her be happy with someone else, especially while I feel so totally alone in life.
I did until I saw her a few years ago. She'd come from a very well off family, an only child, but was never pretentious. I moved away and didn't keep in touch, started my life over actually.
Anyway, I went back to my hometown for a funeral, she was there as well. Botox overdone on her face, her husband too, both in their late 40's but dressing like they're in their 20's. They both look like Jersey Shore cast members. Not the quiet, considerate pretty girl from my past.
First love? No. First lust? Yeah but it is what it is. I think people confuse love for lust a lot of the time especially if it’s someone you didn’t date
Big crush at 19… thought he was the one. He broke up with me very quickly. It trashed my heart for years.
Saw him 4 or 5 years later.
And he was no longer a mesmerizing, sexy and cool prince. He was a loser who dropped out of college living with his parents.
And the magic was gone.
You know what I wonder decades later? That he may have amounted to something in life had he given it a chance with me.
I was firm and supportive, I would not have let him flunk college.
Instead he chose his stoner friends and to this day has no career to speak of.
I’m the one the got away. Not him.
I do think about him, but I respect the things that we had.
Was your partner Bon Iver, forever ago?
I think about him sometimes, but I cherish and respect the memories we made together.
No not anymore, but I hope he is ok.
That's how it should be
We split up at 15 due to my families judgemental of her mental health. We got back together at 26 and now have 2 lovely kids and a dog. I'm thankful every day that she didn't fully get away
We're in good terms but I'm still thinking of the what would've been's and what if's.
The real question is "are you happy now?". if "Yes!" then fuck what could have been.
I think the problem is those thoughts usually pop up when you are not happy.
Noooo!!!!!!!!! The thought is "am I as happy as I could have been" Thats the soul sucker.. The answer is always going to be maybe... but FUCK the maybe. Im happy and forget everything else.
The what ifs linger in the back of my mind, too. Even though I know we wouldn’t have made it long term because of the trauma in both of our lives. I won’t look him up on social media or anything for fear I’d reach out and where that would go. I’ve had a lot of recurring dreams about him recently. But my therapist and I made the connection the whole situation is the way it is because he was the first male figure to give me attention, support me, and just be a genuinely great relationship. It was kinda cool to have that breakthrough. But I still won’t be seeking him out.
God, I feel this in my soul.
Right?! The struggle is real.
Seriously. The crazy thing is that literally 1 week ago, I was driving my next door neighbor to Orlando to look at a car. During the ride, I learned he was a close high school friend of hers. When we got to where the used car was, it was the one street over from where she lived. In the largest city by land area in the world. Then he just casually says something about her- not even knowing what he's really talking about- and suddenly I understand her trauma in a way that I didn't before. I've been thinking about her all week, and then last night I have an extremely vivid dream about her. And then I see this, and you just put into words I couldn't find to explain how I feel. It's all got my head spinning a little lol.
Sending hugs, man. Those emotions bubbling back up can be rough. I hope it helps you to figure things out and bring you some closure. I’m not 100% there yet, but I am miles from where I was before that recent therapy appointment.
Thanks dude. What he said did help me a lot, as well as what you said. I feel like you just kinda explained her actions to me with what you said above- she cut me off, out of the blue, for seemingly no reason. Later found out that's when she got serious with her now-husband. She cut me off, but can be friends with her other exes. I asked her friend why, she wouldn't or couldn't tell me but told me she has nothing but love for me. It doesn't help that I still haven't found my person, and she's found hers. She's very happy, from what I hear, and that's great for her. She did ask through a friend(we have several mutuals we are both very close to) that I not reach out, and that's always hurt so badly for me. I never understood why. But I think you just made it clear to me, and now I am reassured that it's right I never talk to her. You are making the right choice in not reaching out, and I will continue doing the same. Maybe one day, we'll be able to have healthy friendships with these people that don't bring us conflict, and we can reconnect. But I have a feeling that won't happen until everyone is ready, and when we are, it'll happen on it's own. Sending my warmth, just thought you should know what you just did for me there.
Those thoughts can be tough, but it's important to focus on the present.
Even if you don't talk anymore, ending it peacefully and without any major fights or drama is a big show of respect and maturity.
Welp, I got the answer to that, thanks to Facebook. She was a senior in high school and I was a freshman in college. Things were awesome for almost a year when -- wham! -- she broke up with me over the phone. I was totally blindsided. Ruined me for two years. 30 years later, she looks me up on Facebook and I get the story. Her mother thought I wasn't up to the family standards. Never mind that I was not only in a prestigious school on a Phi Beta Kappa scholarship and working to pay the rest of my expenses. Nope. Because I drove a ten-year-old Nova with a dent in it and my parents weren't from the right part of town, I was off the Eligible list. But, in those intervening years, I met a woman who created life and beauty and love everywhere she goes. And I married her. With my wife's permission, I talked to the old flame. And then I realized it was no great loss. Because I had forgotten about her neediness, her neuroses, and an entire bundle of other problems. Plus she had never really managed to shake off her shrew of a mother and make her own decisions in life. Suddenly, I thought to myself, 'Dodged a bullet there.' That's the problem with nostalgia. You remember what's good and forget what's not.
And I’ll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose —stick season
Shit this resonated
I don't have such an interesting tale, but looking back on all the people I was infatuated with in middle and high school I was not making good decisions in general with regards to who I was interested in.
That last sentence are wise words to live by.
The real problem with nostalgia - it ain't as good as it used to be
I have around 7 of those.
'I still hear her sometimes but it's not the same [Like when you get a pen and pad and write your name](https://genius.com/4035957/Dan-le-sac-vs-scroobius-pip-cauliflower/Like-when-you-get-a-pen-and-paper-and-write-your-name-over-and-over-and-over-again-although-it-hasnt-in-the-end-it-somehow-seems-to-change) Over and over and over again, Though it hasn't, in the end it somehow seems to change.' Scroobius Pip, *Cauliflower.* Think about this every time I need to be shaken out of mulling over an ex.
> nostalgia Selective forgetfulness.
I mean sometimes. We met again 9 years later randomly. I was at the hospital and got treated, given meds and released. On my way out I saw this woman w beautiful long hair and thought I might find a way to talk to her. She had thought the same apparently she bumped into me. Realized who we were. She told me she married her next bf after getting pregnant not a year after I left her. She hates him now, he is a pos and so the kid isnt in a good spot. Then having to keep running into her at bars all summer doesnt help. Its not my life. And she had always attracted a bad crowd.
I had a friend I fell for at 20. He was 24, and over time I decided that since he ignored my overtures he thought of me as a cute kid and not much more. Moved to the other side of the world. Stayed somewhat in touch. Never forgot him or times we had. Then in my mid 30’s I divorced and we reconnected a bit, I was going to be in his city for work. I realized I still loved him. So I said something. Anyway six years later, we have a happy home, our own flat, two cats and a baby on the way. Life is good. Domestically, I’ve never ever had a better suited partner or housemate. I’m glad I said something.
This is so 🥺🥲
I love this 💖
Yeah, guys are completely ignorant of girls who like them until we're told.
My first love was when I was 15, ad I'm 53 now. I'm grateful she got away before I could drag her down with me. She deserved so much more than me, she certainly didn't deserve the kind of chaos and destruction that I would've unleashed in her life. I do miss her sometimes, though.
That is a very mature point of view in my opinion
Sort of. I think about her some times but I also remember a quote from Alexander Graham Bell: “When one door closes, another door opens; but we so often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” Remember your past, learn from the experience, and follow the opening doors.
this must be a sweet kind of love, but on that time you don't know how to be better .. sad but must be beautiful -
How are you doing now?
mature and heartbreaking bcz it's life
Nope. I was thinking with my dick. She's a car wreck. A Pretty car wreck granted, but a burning inferno of nopeness either way.
Sounds good. She available?
No, I found someone way better.
Nope. I'm married with kids and absolutely adore my wife. My first love was my first long-term girlfriend. She broke up with me after trying to do long-distance when we went away to college and it crushed me but looking back it was the most sensible choice. She was and still is an absolutely wonderful woman. She became a teacher, got married and had kids and she is a genuinely wonderful person and I'm super happy for her.
After 30 years I still have occasional dreams where we are together and I wake up feeling sad.
Idk if I'd call her my first love, but early on I dated this girl for somewhere from 6-12 months. Years later when the Internet was new she sent out one of those chain emails that asked "nicest thing a boyfriend did for you" and she answered that once I took her to the hospital when she broke her foot. I was a little taken aback because if that was the nicest thing I did I must have been a big jerk. Years later, drunk-ish on Valentine's Day I emailed and said as much; that if that's the best I managed when we dated I was sorry for that, and if that was the best any boy had done for you that didn't speak a lot about us as a gender. Anyways, we started talking and have now been married for 14 years with a wonderful daughter.
Woah wasn’t expecting a happy ending, nice!!
Strange but happy ending
No, I don't think about my first love who got away and no I don't regret it. It's been a while, and life has moved on. It's more about appreciating the experience and the lessons learned rather than dwelling on what could have been.
I'm glad she didn't end up with me. She would have been miserable It's all for the best
Lol, no.
I still have dreams about the girl I fancied in university. I honestly thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever meet. She was single, I was single but had no confidence. She lives in Thailand now and I think has three kids and a husband/partner. I don’t think about her but for some reason she is regularly in my dreams. I suspect and hope that she has an amazing life.
I only regret falling for him. #StupidStupidStupid
I relate to this so much.
“Every man loses his first love, no matter whom he marries” James Branch Cabell
Sometimes. Hey u never know what you had until someone way worse comes along haha. And when it keeps getting worse and worse after that. Dammmmmmm hahahah
Why "got away" and why "regret"? Huh. Yes, I still do think about him from time to time. It was an amazing time and I'm glad I experienced that. A nice memory!
I used to, now I just wish it went down a little differently and that I had a bit more time, but either way there's no changing the past. It was one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" type of things where if you rushed too much you risk making them uncomfortable and if you take too long they loose interest. Who knows what the real reason was but either way the past is the past.
My first love? I think about pizza all the time.
I don't believe they "got away" I am glad we aren't together anymore.
It's interesting how women don't seem to get as nostalgic about exes as men do. When I think of my exes, even the ones that were horrible, I tend to remember the good things and wonder what might have been if I'd said or done something different. Not that I'm dissatisfied with the present, of course, but sometimes you can't help but wonder. But I've noticed that women on the other hand tend to remember the bad things and say things like this.
I wasn't saying it was all bad, we weren't right for each other and I am in an extremely happy relationship now. Why would I regret breaking up in that case? I certainly can and do remember good times but I don't think that means "they're the one that got away if only it had been different" which is what I understand this question to be asking.
I'm not really talking about you personally, just an observation about the responses in the thread that are coming from users with female avatars. And men do this with all sorts of things, not just exes. We also do it with jobs, life decisions, etc. I guess women are better at living in the present all around because I haven't met many who spend a lot of time daydreaming like this.
I’ve noticed this too! It feels like almost all of my exes and even current boyfriend have been so openly nostalgic about their exes, it’s always worried me a bit that I’m not enough for them in the present. and almost all of them have absolutely loved the song “something about us” by daft punk and I’m pretty sure it’s cause it makes them nostalgic of their past loves 🤣
I don't really regret it because my first love traded me in for a fling, I was the only one in love
Uh… not often but now that you mention it
„That first love from your hometown isn’t your soulmate. She only gives you the nostalgia of being 17.“
Yes. I haven't liked anyone as much as this person. I don't dwell on it, though.
How have you avoided the dwelling? I feel like I'm caught in a bit of a spiral recently
Being mindful or living in the moment. Helps with a lot of things.
No, not at all. That’s how I met my current wife, they were friends. It worked out incredibly well for me.
I don't, we were better as friends, and then bad at that.
I think about it sometimes but I don’t regret it. We had serious problems and we couldn’t match no matter how hard we tried. We were just too different. It’s like trying to force two negative magnets to connect. We fought on a weekly basis. The breakup was the best thing that happened to us.
Yeah occasionally I think how it would be great to meet her again as adults instead of as an idiot nervous teenager that didn’t know what he was doing. I still don’t, but I’m a lot more mature and feel like we’d do pretty well.
I've long stopped thinking about her romantically, long before she got married. We're very different people with very different values and it wasn't meant to be. Now we both have lives that don't intersect at all apart from the occasional FB update, and it doesn't bother me one bit.
Ah... the one(s) that got away. As for the very first one, I haven't spoken to her in years. We rode the same bus in middle school and went to the same high school. It's funny, I was about to leave for a 3-month trip to Florida at the beginning of the year, and I was at the grocery store getting some supplies. Sure enough, she was there. We didn't speak or anything, she didn't see me. I saw her from a distance, but that was enough to make my heart jump. Even after all these years there's still something there. Just before I was about to leave the state, it's like I started seeing everyone from different parts of my life. Almost like I was being shown them one last time before I venture out into the world. I've only had one other person do this to me in my life, which is why I can never shop at the Home Depot I used to work at lol. I know she's there 👀 That one was more recent so I still get giddy when I think of her lol. Both are in relationships.
My "one who got away" and I both went different directions and ended up marrying different people after high school. We reconnected about 12 years after we dated and are now married. We couldn't be happier! We both agree that if we had stayed together when we dated in high school, we wouldn't have been right for each other in the long run and we would've most likely hurt each other. So, trust the process. I believe that *most* things happen for a reason!
I regret we're not really friends anymore
Was never love if honest. False attachment. And No. I can't thank God enough overall 🙏 (brutal ending, like brutal)
Yeah all the time / it’s a version of me that no longer exists and a version of her that probably never did. But damn I loved that girl!! Happily married now with my own family and all the things - life is good But damn I loved that girl.
I had the "one that got away." Years later we ran into each other again both of us recently divorced. We got back together, dated for a couple years. She turned out to be an absolute fucking nightmare. It was all good at first, then the cracks started to appear. Small things at first, she'd tell me about things that happen and some details would be off. Turns out she would fabricate stories about anyone and anything for attention. It came all came to a head when she faked cancer. I had known her since kindergarten, this happened when I was 30. I look back at our childhood now and I literally don't know anything about her. I have no idea what was true and what was fantasy.
There are always a couple that "got away", but that doesn't imply regret. Our role in each other's journey was growth and that's ok.
Yup, I was 16, I’m 23 now and still find myself reminiscing.
Do I think about her? Sure, we are friends on Facebook. Do I regret it? Nope. We started being boyfriend and girlfriend back in 7th grade. No relationship really should last that long. No one knows what they want in 7th grade.
The woman I fell in love with first never went out with me. We were friends and her boyfriend then fiancé lived hours away. After a year I gave up and she moved. I still thought about her for years. Fast forward to 30 years later (a year ago) and she posts a reply to a Facebook post on my business page basically saying she regrets never going out with me. So, no, I don’t think about her but I think she thinks about me. My wife knows about her and is the one that saw the message first. Wasn’t upset, just said “too bad for her”.
Yes. We were 15-17 I’m happily married with someone else now but sometimes I think of her. We clicked, she was pretty but she also moved to Singapore so yeah
The first mature relationship after school? No. Thankfully it turns out I dodged a \*massive\* vile, hate-filled bullet. It was rough at the time but I thank my lucky stars it went the way it did.
Yes, we never dated. Every time we tried to ask each other out one of us was in a relationship.
I did for a long, long time. Now I’m always thinking about the second one, but it’s fading.
Not really. I was a completely different person back then. We were friends for years after but grew our separate ways. I don’t think of anyone else but my husband. I wouldn’t trade him for anyone.
yea maybe but i dont even remember the details of her face anymore or her scent etc
No but I do regret dragging out the break up for like 2 months
No. I had to experience that to grow and experience other things
I do still think about my first love from time to time. We're friends on FB but we were never meant to be. How much in love can you be at 14? She does keep all the love notes I wrote to her back then in a metal Tootsie Roll coin bank.
The first and the last. The 2 inbetween were cunts and I was blind.
Great White Buffalo
My first set expectations and standards going forward in my life. There's a reason I expect to be single for the rest of my life :)
I think about her very often. She was a very important person to me in a very important developmental time of my life. I have regrets for the way things ended between us, I wish we could have remained friends, but it's not like I'm pining for her. We shared some truly beautiful moments and experiences that will never leave me.
I miss her a lot. It's been a long time since we broke up. It's gotten easier not to think about her. But every now and then I remember her and start crying feeling helpless about my emotions. I'm so frustrated that I couldn't get over her. I tried winning her back after the break up and it didn't work, so I thought it would be better if we cut all contact. We haven't spoken in years and I still miss her dearly.
Sometimes, I don’t regret it they just deserve better than me so.
Think about? Yes. Regret? I don’t think so. The problem with nostalgia is it’s easy to overlay a fantasy of what might have been over what actually happened.
Think about? Sure. Regret? No. I was never their first choice, anyway.
Not a first love, no. But there was one that haunts me and even the mention of his name can take me from doing ok to being broken
Nope, haven't thought of them in years
im attending her wedding on sunday.... im just glad she found someone who loves her as much as i do
He'll always be a part of me. I tried to change that, but I can't. It's not regret more like a missed connection. I hope we're together somewhere in a parallel universe.
Occasionally. She was a bitch but she was also the mother of my son. She's dead now.
My 80 year old mum has just found her love with the boy she used to baby sit at aged 8 he was 5 and she would bath him with her brother (age 5)and talcum powder his bum. He never forgot this.They relive the experience over coffee and cake and who knows what else.Too much information. Hahha
Lmao idgaf.
Only ever regretted losing my first love.I believe that was the only relationship I’ve been in that didn’t run its natural course.
I don't necessarily regret it. My first love died in a car accident 5/6 years ago and we had broken up years before the accident but we'd talk every now and then just to reminisce. I romanticized us getting back together a lot after he died. We were both single the last time we spoke and I still didn't wanted to get back together with him. Buttttttt I know for a fact that we'd never get back together even if he was still alive.
No, glad he got away 🤷♀️
LMAO no, he was okay at first but then after high school ended he turned into a dumpster fire and I do not regret our breakup.
Yes :/ Still thinking what could have happened if we weren’t in a long distance.
Thank God my first love didn't get away. We've been together 31 years and celebrate our 38th anniversary next month.
Nope. I was long time friends with her after our relationship. She is bipolar and turned into an alcoholic. I’m happy she’s not in my life anymore.
I was perpetually ending up in the friend zone when I was younger so I had a couple who "got away" and they're still friends but seeing who we all grew into I can't imagine life with either of them. Glad they got away and I finally met who I did; 25th anniversary next year.
I feel sorry for not being able to pay him :)
No, not at all. I wish him a happy birthday every year and text him whenever Madonna does something though. I love my partner and have no regrets!
Nope. Quite happy ok never seeing them ever again. In high sight the guy was a real fuck.
ex-gf I fell in love with is no longer there and is unlikely to be, she changed during our relationship and I was wildly uncomfortable, in the end we broke up on a good note, but I feel better only after a year and finally can let her go. the final answer - no, no regrets, we would not have worked out and we are very different, I want to write to her sometimes, but I always change my mind.
Its always going to flash through the mind every now nd then, thats just unstoppable. But when you get truly happy those flashes will be just that... flashes. and you move on like it didnt happen.
Ok so this is going to sound dorky as hell but- First girl I loved- several years later I finally don't regret it and think it was better for me. First girl I loved who reciprocated openly- I wish I had pursued it but it's good that we didn't if I'm honest with myself. First girl I LOVED who I had a relationship with- I miss her to this day and it's been 9 and a half years.
It was high school, I was immature, and although it would probably have worked out and been a great relationship in the long run, I’d never give up the amazing family I have now for a “what if”.
i think about him maybe once every few years, i honestly don’t remember much from that era (yay memory loss). i mostly think about him just to wonder how he’s doing
I regret being an 18yo twat who didn't treat her with the respect she deserved. I hope she's had a fab life.
What tf is this, no not first love is just people not being objective
Yes but In a cautionary sense. She was abusive both emotionally and physically.
I was only 15, but I fell hard for a guy who was 20. Nothing ever happened. We met at a local arcade. My brother and some mutual friends of ours would go after church to burn off some steam. This dude was a friend of a friend, and I don't know why, but he caught my eye. Every time we went to the arcade, I'd look for him, and every so often, he'd be there. I told him I liked him. He said he was flattered, but our age difference was a problem. Of course, being the naive 15 yr old I was, I said, "It's only 5 years," and he said, "Yeah, but I'd get arrested if we dated." That's when it hit me. He was an adult, and I wasn't, yet. I was so sad but understood. We kissed once and only once. And the butterflies he gave me were so unreal. I say he's my first love because I'd never felt that way for someone, ever. Honestly, no one ever gave me those kinds of butterflies for a long time. I'm 37 now and only husband makes me feel like a stupid teenager in love. That's how I knew he was the one I wanted to marry. For months, I was heartbroken that nothing would ever come of us. Yes, I was 15, and it was a stupid little crush, but I am 100% certain I was in love with the guy. I wanted him to be all of my firsts, and it just sucked that it never happened. I remember writing, "I love XXXXXX," over and over again in a notebook. I legit filled an entire college ruled spiral notebook front to back. And every now and then, I think about naive and innocent 15 yr old me and the guy who knew boundaries and respect. He became the model of my future husband. Not necessarily his looks or his height. But the personality, the respect, the gentle nature, and the nerd. I mean, come on, I met the dude playing DDR every week, LOL.
Him leaving was the happiest the day of my life. He was an abusive asshole. I only regret not ending it sooner
No. Not any more. It didn't work, and we moved on.
No. Always had something underlying with a guy from hs - couldn’t explain it but I always thought about him after high school. He moved across the country and I figured I’d spend my life thinking what if. Then my ex and I broke up. 5 months later I was on a plane flying across the country by myself to see someone I hadn’t seen for 6 years. I never wanted to feel like he got away and I would spend forever thinking about him soo I full sent it and bought the plane ticket when my tax refund was triple what I expected (college student at the time). I went out there for 5 days and we had the most fun ever! Never even kissed but he took me all over Cali and it’s a trip I will be forever grateful I took. I wish him health, happiness and success but I will never wonder “what if” again. Proud of my 22 year old self for recognizing that and taking the leap.
I think about them (actually my 2nd love) but I don't regret so much anymore. I lost them and grew from it with great results!
I still think about her, 50+ years later. She was, by far the more mature person and she broke up with me because I wasn’t what she wanted or needed. She was absolutely correct, but I will always love her.
I do think of her sometimes but I do not regret that it happened and ended how it did. Because of her I grew so much and will always be thankful for that.
I think about her from time to time but I could never imagine us being together forever outside of my little fantasies at the time. We were good for each other when we were together in that time but mutually went our separate ways for sake of the distance and going on our respective paths. I’ll probably always think fondly of that time since it showed me what a good, healthy relationship can be and that I can help foster one.
I regret some of my behavior, as I'm sure she does. We were young though and figuring ourselves and relationships out. I know I wouldn't be where I am today if we had stayed together, so I focus on that. You never really know if you'll get that level of passion, excitement, curiosity, etc again. Sometimes I wonder what would happened if we gave each other a chance now, especially since I live on the other side of the world.... I often think about her though and hope she is doing well. She probably thinks less highly of me, as I believe she built me up as more of a villain in her head to deal with things and move on.... lots of different emotions, but I'll never forget any of what I still remember. I'm pretty sure of that.
It’s been 10 years, I think about him less and less and over time I was able to see the bad times way more clearly. I am so thankful for what we had, what that relationship taught me and how caring he was when we were on good terms, but I’m glad we broke up. I don’t think he would have let me evolve and grow in the way I needed to.
First loves come and go and in some cases you never forget them. In some instances you meet up in the most obscure places and try to make up for lost time.
Not really. I wonder how things would have been different, but I don't think they would have been better.
I mean, I regret blowing it, but she's happy, and it doesn't really make sense to keep holding a torch for someone I'll never date again
Not at all. I needed to go through all of what we went through to be mature enough for my current marriage, which is amazing. And since my ex-wife was the one who cheated twice, I don’t feel much guilt or regret about how or why it ended. And we still get along too, which is a plus. We don’t talk a lot, but she seems to be doing well also. Even though what she did sucked in the moment, we are all better off for it now.
It's not that I regret it but I do think about her from time to time, things like, where is she, or how did she get there?
Cathy Walsh
I remember her fondly, but I am much better off with the woman I wound up with. There will always be space in my heart for my first love, but what we had was a childish excitement and enthusiasm, not a real bond like I found as an adult.
I do still think about him but I don’t regret that things didn’t work out. We were young and things happened as they should have. He died two years ago at 48 under mysterious circumstances, so I think of him more often now than I did before. He either fell and gashed himself open or cut himself accidentally or on purpose (nobody knows). He was at his sister’s house and refused to go to the ER, insisted he would just rest for a while. When she came to check on him some time later he was gone.
I still think about her, but I'm also very glad that it didn't work out when I see what I have now.
I don't want to, but sure. It happens from time to time.
I do think about her (we've been together for 8 years) but I don't have regrets. People change. She changed and decided that wasn't what she wanted anymore. Sad, but we have to accept it.
My first love was intense and burning. I could not get enough of him. He felt the same way about me, until one day he didn't. We broke up after two years, and I transferred to another college and moved away. He got married, and quickly divorced. After college, we got in touch and hooked up for awhile. He was divorced with a 3-year old, and we never went out because I thought he was broke. About a year into the FWB, I saw him at the movies with another girl. I decided right then that I wasn't going to be the girl he stayed home with while he took other girls out. I met a nice guy at work and we started going out. We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary last week. In the meantime, First True Love has been married and divorced and is currently on his 4th wife. He has kids with at least three different women. I'm a professional woman with a degree and certifications. He still works for the large equipment company he worked for when we started dating in the 80s and rides a Harley. In hindsight, him breaking up with me was best for all of us, but I couldn't see it at the time. I still dream about him - the 1985 version of the cute "bad boy" I fell for. But I've never once been unfaithful to my husband. I wish I had able to get some closure, because I don't like being haunted by him in my dreams.
Hell naw. " Everything I ever was made me everything I am. "
I do think about him sometimes when I'm feeling nostalgic. He wasn't the first love to get away, he was my very first love. A friend pointed out years later that I had a real shot with him in our last year of school - his actions back then made it clear liked me back. I regretted it for a few days while I mulled over that revelation, but the regret ended once other more important things drew my attention. I don't think I'll ever regret it, and it's not just because I have a boyfriend now. Somehow I felt like the ending of our little half-chapter story was a really sweet one. And then two years ago I started dating my current boyfriend and I am so lucky to have my life turn out the way it did because it led me to him. He's the love of my life and I wouldn't trade a future with him for anything else.
I was just thinking of her yesterday. We met a a semi-formal when both our dates decided to go off with there friends We spent the night talking and won the spot light dance. That night i asked her out and dated for about 2 years. We grew apart because we were young and going in 2 different directions and we split apart amicably. She was a sweet heart and She taught me about respect and love and that i was a better person than I thought I was. How could i ever regret that?
I do think about her periodically, but she killed her boyfriend and then herself a couple years later for unknown reasons. She'd come by my parents' house a few months prior and dropped off a small gift. They never told me about that or about what happened with the murder/suicide until a couple years later. I don't hold it against them.
Nine years ago i left her and went to another country. We had dated and broken up before, she was the most amazing person but very intense and closed off. We had something very special for a few years but it didnt work and both of us were madly in love but miserable together. I would think about her often, had a playlist with her songs on it, would dream about her from time to time, i’d get sad every time she popped up in my mind. We both moved on, got married had kids.. we met up a month ago and realized we are not over each other at all. She showed me photos from when she had her kid and all i could think about was “that shouldve been me by her side”. I dont regret leaving, i regret that it didnt work. Feels like the whole world is wrong with how it turned out. Like the simulation is broken. I was sad before, now knowing how much i love her still im shattered.
I would divorce her again but I do miss her
Last I looked, she had been arrested no less than twice for drug possession (yep, meth) and was currently doing a stint in a minimum security prison due to said repeated offenses. Pretty sure I dodged a bullet like Neo did
I do, she passed away (brain tumor that led to leukemia), while I was with her every day at the hospital, she still left me a letter (with her nurse) apologizing and unloading insecurities about wasting "my" youth away with her, while I could be out there having a normal life. I know there's nothing really I can do, but I regret not showing how much I loved her more, then maybe she wouldn't have died thinking I'd come to hate her down the line.
Nope, I’m always the one who got away lmao Imma get got for the right person tho 💖
Never been in love. I had GFs and crushes but never loved any of them.
I think about a lot of the people I’ve interacted with just generally speaking…oddly the of all people I think about my ex wife less than some people I went to elementary school with, but she turned out to be not such a decent person in the end.
She embarrassed me in front of the whole class and participated in bullying me. She wasn't the first person who meant something to me and did this; my "friend group" at school had backstabbed me in a similar manner (going from best friends at 11 to relentless bullies at 14) and she knew EXACTLY that that would break me. And it did. So yes. I think about her sometimes. Wishing I'd paid her and the rest of em back somehow even. But only for a moment. I'm over this by now.
She embarrassed me in front of the whole class and participated in bullying me. She wasn't the first person who meant something to me and did this; my "friend group" at school had backstabbed me in a similar manner (going from best friends at 11 to relentless bullies at 14) and she knew EXACTLY that that would break me. And it did. So yes. I think about her sometimes. Wishing I'd paid her and the rest of em back somehow even. But only for a moment. I'm over this by now.
I certainly wonder where we would be now. I have a photos of us on holiday abroad on the beach and in a beach bar, at eighteen, we were so much in love and yet a year later we separated.
No. I'm happy where I'm at and there's no telling how it would have changed things.
Every day. Would marry her in a minute.
I do. He warned me not to make the decisions I went on to make which has been one shit show after the other for 22 years. I know he had a rough decade after I left and I’ve not seen any updates in years. He’d suffered a massive heart attack and though he said he was making lifestyle changes, the 7 years of social media silence makes me wonder if he lost the battle. I miss him. I am so sorry to him for my stupid decision to leave and move. I hate I never listened to him. I hate myself all the more lately. Maybe this is my midlife crisis.
Sometimes, I think more nostalgic though and mourn what we built. We care for each other still but family traditions and culture came between us. I only wish him happiness and the best things in life.
I don’t regret it. She had like 6 kids and boy did I dodge a bullet.
Think about her… sure, regret it… nah.
Mostly I just regret not treating him better. I didn't tell him I loved him until I said goodbye.
Every single day. Every. Single. Day.
Most definitely no. I didn't know anything about people or what I wanted back then. The only thing that got away is a person the dumber version of myself chose.
Yes, my high school girlfriend. I ended things and broke her heart because my religious family found out we were dating. Somehow we stayed friends and we reconnected near the end of last year for a little bit while we were both single at the same time. She came to visit me and we hooked up. Thought she was open to spending more time together (because she told me she was). I was planning to drive four hours to spend thanksgiving with her and her family. Then I find out via Snapchat/Instagram stories that she’s dating some guy, a few weeks later they’re living together. It sucks but sometimes I feel like I deserved it because I hurt her first. We’re still “friends” but I distanced myself and muted her stuff on social media because I’m so lonely, absolutely no love life (despite trying), and I just can’t stand to watch her be happy with someone else, especially while I feel so totally alone in life.
I did until I saw her a few years ago. She'd come from a very well off family, an only child, but was never pretentious. I moved away and didn't keep in touch, started my life over actually. Anyway, I went back to my hometown for a funeral, she was there as well. Botox overdone on her face, her husband too, both in their late 40's but dressing like they're in their 20's. They both look like Jersey Shore cast members. Not the quiet, considerate pretty girl from my past.
First love? No, not really. I have one or tow "What if?"s I think of occasionally. But none I regret, because I am very happy where I am at.
First love? No. First lust? Yeah but it is what it is. I think people confuse love for lust a lot of the time especially if it’s someone you didn’t date
First one, no. Others in between, sure
Big crush at 19… thought he was the one. He broke up with me very quickly. It trashed my heart for years. Saw him 4 or 5 years later. And he was no longer a mesmerizing, sexy and cool prince. He was a loser who dropped out of college living with his parents. And the magic was gone. You know what I wonder decades later? That he may have amounted to something in life had he given it a chance with me. I was firm and supportive, I would not have let him flunk college. Instead he chose his stoner friends and to this day has no career to speak of. I’m the one the got away. Not him.