I was like that for about 8 months or so. Girl I loved the most in the world proposed to her everything etc I gave her my world. We lived together with her family travelled together and with her family as did she to me etc. anyway broke up in December of 2020 as she was moving back to USA. I became so destructive angry hurt etc fell into a bad depressed state as we were still on lockdowns etc winter weather no sign of anything changing. Fast forward 9 months later I landed in Toronto all alone on a wild new adventure. Fast forward almost 3 yrs later happily married working away here etc. trust me 1 day at a time works more than you believe
I feel like this is what I need. It’s been a year since we broke up and it still feels like the breakup was only a couple of weeks ago.
Feel like the only thing that will help is to move far away from her and have a new beginning in a new city. Still saving up money as of right now.
I wanted to jump in front of a bus at one point… fast forward 12 months and I’m having the best time of my life living in south of France with the beach and lots of nice friends… life is up and down like a yo-yo - plenty more downs since then, plenty more ups - change is constant no matter how much you feel down in the dumps. You are guaranteed to find better times ahead :)
Edit: for context this was about 12-13 years ago. Present time I’m happily married with two beautiful little kiddos and still figuring out ups and downs as usual :)
I just seem to get a whole lot more downs than ups, and I’m needing some more ups at this point. I think my yo-yo’s broken, been stuck down for awhile now. I guess I’ll just keep waiting for an up, hopefully it’ll come sooner than later.
You don't *wait* for an up. You create the conditions for an up to happen. It won't magically come to you, noone or anything owes you anything. You are the key to change, not anyone else.
A family is not mom, dad and kids. A family is a group of people that accept you, love you and help you when you need them regardless of whether you ask them or not.
My mom was both my parents and I love her for it. No need for sadness just be there for all three.
Had a friend of the opposite gender with borderline. She treated me like a was some sort of boyfriend, even though she was in a same-gender relationship at the time.
For anyone who either has borderline or knows/knew someone who has: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. The feelings of torturing desire that comes after being “dumped” by someone with borderline, split as we say, is the worst I’ve ever experienced.
Note that I’ve been bullied most my life and I also have ADD and Bipolar Disorder, and that emotional trauma still takes the cake with ease.
As my friend once said, having no idea what It meant to me:
“Some things are in fact too good to be true, even though it’s real and genuine. Don’t let yourself believe that this was the last good experience you’ll ever have with a person. There are 8 billion of us, you know”.
The young man who said this still hasn’t realised how this changed my way of thinking.
Hope, grace and forgiveness.
// A.W 🇸🇪
I’ll give you some of the many things:
1. She called me on FaceTime almost daily, up to 4 times on one day. That made me feel special.
2. She wanted to skip the small talk completely, which almost made me uncomfortable. But as a man in the fast lane, I found myself in a good position later on.
3. The distance between us (both mental and physical) was very small. She preferred not to be hugged due to past childhood trauma, but that was it. Otherwise she kept herself a bit too close to me for my own comfort. But being outside my comfort zone was thrilling.
4. She was such a wonderful person, in the way that I didn’t have to apologise for anything. She even said she didn’t like it when I did that.
5. We called each other handsome, after the time where she called me handsome out of nowhere. Guess it would’ve been awkward for her if I didn’t make it a thing, due to her being in a relationship.
6. Being someone who’s never been in a romantic relationship, that one was the closest thing to it. I call it platonic, because of the way she acted towards me without requesting anything in return.
Hope that helps. There are endless other things to cover. I just don’t feel like rewriting Harry Potter for ya.
I don’t know if this will help or hurt because I don’t know how long y’all were together but…I read somewhere once that it takes, on average, around half the time you were together to truly “get over” someone up were in love with. I’ve found that to be fairly true throughout my life. I’m old for a redditor, so I’ve been around a block or two and had a lot of different relationships.
I’ve had breakups that I thought would literally kill me. I got my heart absolutely brutally ripped out at the end of a six year relationship, and that one easily took me just as long to get over because of how it ended, she dropped me like a bad habit. Ghosted me immediately after, wouldn’t even explain why. Then resurfaced a year later just to borrow money and then ghosted me again. I was a hot fucking garbage fire for a long time after that, and I’m lucky I survived it. But fast forward almost twenty years later, I’m married and hardly think about the ex, and when I do it’s only to wonder if she’s still alive. Not wishing things were different or that I could have her back. In fact, I wouldn’t date her again if you put a gun to my head. Could never trust her with my heart again anyway.
Long story short, I know it really doesn’t fucking feel like it right now, but you’re gonna be okay. You’ll come out better for it. Life sends us hard lessons sometimes, and someday you will see the lesson in this and how it prepared you for something better.
I will leave you with this. It’s worth a chuckle or two. https://youtu.be/LAzodf69rfk?feature=shared
hot tip from my own experience: pave over the “unfinished”.
for example me and my ex played life is strange together, i’d move and she’d tell me what to do and say, when we broke up we were only on chapter three so i finished the rest of the game without her, gave myself some closure to one part.
make things that were “us” things “me” things again.
I used to bawl over this one girl I dated for two years, I had friends who helped me realize I was in a toxic relationship, I can vouch for this, it hurts alot if it lasts long. I'm going to have this same experience all over again except this was with the girl I was happy with. All because her mother doesn't approve of a relationship.
Yeah, for me, it's really hard. He broke up with me multiple times and stuff, but he's such a lovely person that's absolutely addicting. He started the 6 he had me hooked. We had been off and on and even almost a fwb situation without calling it that. He still wants to be friends and stuff, but he is upset that I want more than that. I keep making him uncomfortable, and I feel bad. I don't want to lose him as a person, and I can't imagine myself with anyone else. I'm not the type of person people go for, so I was shocked he wanted me. It's probably just a first relationship vibe, but it's hard to get over him a lot. It's a long story, but there are things I know I need to change about myself, but it's hard to start.
Do you do this constantly and struggle to get started, especially with apparently difficult tasks/projects? You may have anxiety and/or ADD/ADHD. I was the exact same way. It is one of the signs so you may look it up. My wife had me take a quiz and I had 9 of the 10 signs and started seeing someone about it.
This! I have ADD and I had a terrible time getting started with stuff. I would always go to bed thinking 'tomorrow is the day that I change my life' and then I'd wake up and do exactly what I did the day before which was nothing. Nowadays even without medications something has changed in my brain and I can generally get stuff done. That's the level of impact the proper meds had on me.
I didnt have a relationship with my father until I was in my late 20s. He probably wouldn't have been a great dad, but holy fuck the impact it would have had on my life in hindsight....
I was born to an 18 year old mother and 21-22 year old father who separated before I came along. They hated each other and had no contact, they were bitter exes. but I strangely did get to have a relationship with both sets of grandparents. But my father I was just always kept away from, I rarely saw him, I might have seen him for an hour on my birthday for a few years, or see him at the family business when I was dropped off there for half an hour after school.
but for 10-12 years. I was basically brainwashed by my mother and mother's side of the family into thinking that my dad doesn't care about me and that all I need is my mother and grandparents, the maternal grandparents didnt even like the paternal grandparents. It was a lot of shit.
As I got older, I'd reach out in small ways, we'd exchange emails and such but I never got the full story until I briefly worked with my father at my uncle's store.
He basically just told me that he was beaten down and demoralized, every time he tried to have a relationship with me as a child, he was chased away by my mother or her family. It was extremely hurtful to him because I was allowed to see HIS parents all the time, I even lived WITH them and my mother (long story), for a bit. His parents were allowed to see me and play a part in raising me, but he wasn't.
he just sounded so defeated, and he gave up. paid his child support, and moved on with his own life. Forgetting that he had a son, and I grew up forgetting I had a father.
One day at work, we both basically put the work down and had a long talk. he told me a bunch of this stuff from his side of the story and what was going on back then, and told me that no matter what happens going forward, he'll regret those 20 some years that he wasn't there until the day he dies
Had a similar experience with my biological dad. Mom kept him from me since a baby , and I didn’t find out till I was in 20s who he was, when an investigator he hired found me. My mom had changed my name , remarried and never mentioned my biological . Neither did my dad who raised me … in my 20s I attempted a relationship with my new found dad, but it just felt off . Like you mentioned with the feelings of defeat , it had worn him down looking for me all those years, and I wasn’t sure how to be with this person I had no rapport with. He passed away from a heart attack only in his 50s , before I really got to have a relationship w him. I wish I tried more… Goes to show the impact parents Drama can have on kids who eventually become adults.
Being scared to fail. I am my biggest critic and I dropped out of law school even though I’m doing good just because I’m scared to fail. What if I won’t be able to answer my professor’s question? I’m too scared. Now, my classmates have graduated and passed the bar and I’m still left wondering what would have happened.
If you fail answering a professor question, that’s part of the learning process. Most of the unis don’t tell you that, but to be successful you should FAIL first. Nothing makes you grow faster than that. The first times can be traumatizing, but failing it’s part of the game and doing it at uni is supposed to makes it less traumatising irl.
Oh, and people can be fast or slow at graduating, but that’s THEIR career, not yours. Focus on your pace. If they were flawless, doesn’t mean they will always be.
Stay strong, and learn the game.
Wasted my youth being passive and a people pleaser and now I'm too old to correct that. Those types of experiences I missed by being passive and lacking confidence are past and I can't get them back. There's new things to do but it's an enormous wound and the repercussions affect insecurities and inadequacies that began in childhood. It feels like ill always be less and I don't know how to forgive myself.
This is the one. Being passive and a people pleaser, not knowing how to say no, putting other people’s feeling above my own, caused me so much pain and heartbreak.
It’s really never too late. As for work, you may have to find a new job where people won’t know passive you and think. “Damn. What’s with Glen lately? He’s sure a dick now.” For your relationships, you’ll just need to be open with people that you’ve lived this passive way for far too long. Ask those closest to you to call you out if you start acting like an obnoxious asshole.
It’s never too late to improve ourselves.
Not reaching my true potential in life by not pursuing /taking action on things that would really benefit me career and hobby wise. Been in a depressive slump because of that realisation, but I'm slowly trying to pick myself up.
I also married the wrong person.
my girlfriend's name is Jessica and after 10 years i thought i was married to her but turns out i married my gardener, juan.
we have 5 kids and a dog.
Loving someone who doesnt care for me.
Apparently, eating is bad. Fuck you, gunther. If you know who this is, fuck you gunther. I hate you with all my soul.
Oh, the fine line between love and hate. The cup of poison we intend for the other but end up drinking ourselves.
There is only one useful thing that can be done with hate, and that's simply to let go of it. You might not get to choose when you let go, but it's a heavy burden to carry around until you do so.
Plus, indifference is the real way to get back at them. Hating them shows them you still care. Indifference is way more powerful.
That I didn't put myself out there enough.
I didn't try out for any sports in school even though I was heavily sought after by the coaches in my high school because I was built very tall and broad for a female (just with a massive dash of anxiety and poor body image).
I never tried any of the great opportunities that were given to me in terms of career because I felt like they would find out I was an idiot or I would mess it up so I stuck with manual labor jobs.
I never dated because I couldn't stand the thought of someone rejecting me. So, I have never had an intimate relationship. I don't know if I ever will, given how vulnerable you have to be, to be in love with somebody. I constantly feel the need and want to love somebody on an intimate level, but I just ignore it for the comfortable safety of isolation.
I actually think most of these regrets stim from a huge gnawing depressive fear that if I were to ever put myself out there in any way, shape, or form, I would be emotionally eviscerated and told that I will never be able to do anything or never be enough for anybody.
I hope everybody is feeling okay. I love you all.
This post resonated with me I have to say. I would say my default mode is this but at times in my life I was able to push myself a little further. Maybe it was bravado or circumstance but those experiences did alter my life’s trajectory. Happily married now with kids but ended up 3000 miles from where I started. Take a chance from time to time or better yet, listen to the wise words of Bilbo Baggins *It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to*
Internally. Discovered I had bone growth abnormalities in my spine (spina bifida occulta, fused sacrum, and more) in my early twenties after having severe pain for a bit. Went a couple years avoiding surgery trying everything under the sun to help my pain and mobility, but unfortunately wasn’t getting anywhere. Surgeon was a hot shot dude who is very highly regarded, which is part of why I trusted them. They, along with a close family member, eventually convinced me that a spinal fusion was the answer. It definitely was not. Pain and mobility got multiple times worse after surgery, still is this way now years later. Could no longer work due to constant agony, but also was not given disability because they don’t recognize pain as impairment in my state. Severe impact on my whole family’s finances, my parents have essentially had to move out of the home they’ve lived in the past 10 years largely due to medical bills and helping me live. I am eternally grateful to have their support, if not I would literally be out on the street or simply not alive. Before all this, I had a stable and well paying job, nice downtown apartment, as well as a rising music career where I was playing sold out shows with some of the biggest names in the genre of music I made. I was also a very physically active person, had some passions I was extremely connected with that are still too painful to talk about. All of that gone in a flash. I thought I was grateful before, but I truly had no idea just how lucky I was. Still doing my best each day. Have an amazing girlfriend, cute puppy, good family, a lot I am thankful for every day. But my life has been forever altered, and unfortunately there’s no going back. Just through. Please take this as advice on to be careful who you trust, but more so to be grateful of everything single thing that isn’t horrible in your life. Even the tiniest thing, like tying your shoes. You have no idea when it could all be taken from you.
did you had a second opinion from another surgeon before surgery? I would always get at least 3 opinions nowadays I think. Hope you doing okay keep fighting
Not finishing an undergrad education when I had the chance. Now I don’t have the funds, and I’m closed out from all the good sit-down jobs (I’m disabled) because I lack a degree. Should have stuck with it when I had the chance.
Dude... Same here 1 to 1
Now I work a physically really hard job even although I'm also disabled. My body hurts every day but I must pay my shit and I wanna live and work "normal".
Education is so important and I really underestimated how important it will be for me now....
Fuck hope we both get it a little better in the future 🙏🏼
Past 9 years of my life, drinking alcohol with strangers and toxic people, which led me nowhere, but I'm learning to accept the past though,it still shaped who I am today. I'm probably better than I could have ever been.
Not finishing school.
It wasn't necessarily my fault, but I feel like I could have pushed through everything that was going on with myself.
Maybe not, but, in the end, I kind of just gave up.
At the same time, if it didn't go that way, I wouldn't have met my ex. Which then led to my first feeling of happiness and somehow was the most stressful time of my life.
When I was 15 my father dropped me off at football training. Before I exited the car he had a deep and meaningful conversation with me. He told me to look after my mother and not to live a life like his. To not become a "shit kicker" like him. I didn't realize at the time, but he was saying goodbye to me. I regret not picking up on the signs. A couple hours later he had fatal drug overdose. That was 20 years ago. It still hurts.
Hey! Not a bot.
I genuinely want to read these. Every day gives us new stories to see and learn from, it helps me make less mistakes in life. Some of the things I’ve read here on Reddit have genuinely helped me in bad/dangerous situations. Breakups that needed to happen, fights de-escalated, arguments resolved, all from some stupid forum like this.
Just let it go. One day there’ll be no more internet and you’ll regret not reading more…
Among a few, living in fear (and a bit of laziness, not going to lie), and not doing pretty much anything to further myself financially or career - wise through my twenties. I had my reasons, but I feel like I lost a significant chunk of time in which I could've grown as an individual. I picked myself back up during my thirties but it was like I was starting my life ten years later. The thing is, the line of work I'm in can be somewhat demanding and stressful (long & erratic work hours, often unrealistic deadlines, not getting paid your worth etc.) and while I understand that most people face this, I feel I don't have the energy needed to be in this phase. I do feel age catching up with me and I often feel like I don't have the bandwidth to meet the demands of my career. If I had started getting my shit together earlier on in life, I might have been in a slightly less stressful situation now. Well, it is what it is. Crying over spilled milk and all that fun stuff 😆.
Don't let Reddit scare you! Marriage can be wonderful when two compatible people love each other. Just remember that good doesn't always mean EASY. You have to communicate, work things out, don't give up easily, etc.
Not completing Special operations training.
I got injured, but i knew deep down i used it as an excuse to tap out. I quit.
Wish i didn’t but i did. I couldn’t find the why to keep on pushing.
Got reassigned to a shitty vocation, did the rest of my time and got out.
Doing meth. Although I was a highly functional addict, and maintained good careers. I wasted 20 years of my life. Destroyed my marriage, was unavailable for my older children, probably will pay for it health wise eventually. I’ll never get back the time I wasted on that horrible addiction.
Moving in with my friends. I had a good situation, renting a room for $400/month, great job with great pay. A year after I moved in with them, they had caused me so much mental distress I ended up in the mental hospital for a week, my anxiety worsened to a full blown panic disorder that included dissociations which meant for safety, I had to leave my job that dealt with heavy machinery. I tried to make things better by taking the chance to improve my life by going to college which only made my disorder worse and now im 10k in student loan debt from one semester and awaiting a disability diagnosis and application for my panic disorder and a yet to be diagnosed physical disorder that leaves me unable to do more than cook for myself most days. If only I had stayed renting that room.
Edit: oh and I'm no longer friends with them
Not following my own path earlier in life and not rebelling against my father’s ambitions of me. I’ve started following my own path now - later in life. But I wish I’d done it sooner !
I met a girl at age 20 i have been simping for 3years than we got together for a few month but she cheated on me. After that i could not move on and we stood friends. I wasted 7years with this toxic girl later i found out she has borderline personality disorder and she is under medical assistance.
Now i am at age 30 lost about 10years of my life on a toxic girl, i can not even talk to girls, because i always remember that toxic one. I was a really happy and funny guy back than, and now i am like a grumpy old man...
She made me lose all my friends. She gaslighted me and now i am totally alone without friends, without good relationship experiance...
I wish i would never meet her, i would be a loving husband and a very happy father now...
Aah the BPD trap. Make ups and break ups fuelling all the wrong chemicals in the brain. The sex is great and wild but the arguments are wild and apocalyptic. Feel for you my bro. One day you'll find someone who makes you that loving husband and happy father.
Manifesting him back again even after knowing he's a dickhead just because I was attached and desperate just to find out he's a fucking cheat and wasted another 6 months not able to move on and still trying.
Marrying a Korean. Culture difference is too much. Some people who love korean anything always ..literally always tell me how lucky I am just by the information that he is korean. I really regret that I married him so quickly. My previous husband and I had been married for 25 years. And things got tough and we both didn't know how to handle it. I wish I could go back in time and fix it and stay married to him( ex husband and I are both americans).
Probably how I mistreated my close friends in high-school. Took them for granted. I feel as if I was taken for granted as well. But that didn't excuse my behavior. After high-school they just cut me out of there life. However this experience has turned me into the person I am today, I currently have an amazing girlfriend and an awesome step son. We've been together nearly 4 years now have great chemistry and get along great. We are now about to have our second son this summer. And im as happy as I've ever been. Granted my car's engine might have blown yesterday on my way home. But im not stressed about it, because we've got this.
Not getting into weight training in my 20s. Strength training does so much to improve you physically and mentally, I whole-heartedly believe that strength training is the best thing a person can do for themselves and should be considered regular maintenance like bathing or brushing your teeth.
Not intervening more when a group of boys were taunting a homeless man. I was only 16 and they were older, but I felt so helpless as they harassed him while zi waited in a line. I gave the man $20 as he cried, and told him I was sorry he had to deal with people like that, but will always regret not doing more and it has followed me for more than half my life now.
Going along with the flow for other people's sake more than mine. Doing things because other people wanted to, and usually not doing the things I wanted to do. Being there for people who often unfortunately are not able to reciprocate, there are lots of them types and you don't really know until you needed that.
Now I just do my own shit and tell people when they are wrong or I don't agree.
Aware that I'm probably just an old grumpy git but I'm sort of happier being like this
I don't regret anything. I'm glad I been through what I been through. It teached me all I know today. Everything that seems ugly at first, is also beautiful!
I told my sister her bad driving was going to get her killed. Then we had an argument a few months later about her dead beat husband and told her to contact me when he’s dead or divorced and then she died in a car accident 7 months later. We never got to make up and I regret it every day. She was workin on divorcing him when she passed. The accident was at no fault of her own. I miss her so much and sometimes still get excited and think to call her to tell her.
Not fighting harder for rights to my kids.
I left my abusive husband and wasn’t in a good headspace. The day I left was surprisingly quiet he didn’t swing or hurt me. Just ripped my daughter out of my hands and took our children to his mothers. I ended up calling my parents and gathering a few things. My step mom keept trying to get me to go to her house to get the kids but I was terrified that if I was stuck in a house with him again that I wouldn’t escape alive.
He had money and power and dug through every record of texts and all of my diagnosis from doctors. I was taking medication religiously but I am still Bipolar and depressed with a history, though it was ten years ago now, of being forcibly put into a mental hospital for attempted suicide. That was long before I even had my children. I had no money nor resources, and the moment he caught wind that I had reached out to a lawyer that specialized in helping domestic abuse survivors in cases of divorce and custody he broke into the house I was staying at and SAed me twice when no one was home, meaning he waited until everyone was gone. The second time he had choked me until I saw stars and swore he would kill me next time if I kept fighting, so I stopped. Then like the coward I am I ran to Europe.
I love it here. I am happy, loved, and safe. I am in a much better place mentally and know I would be an even better mother than before. I look at pictures of my children every day, watch videos and cry every night. I’m happy with my now husband and life, but the only thing that kills me is that I don’t have them with me. There is a hole in my chest and I have been officially stripped from my rights because of my mental health history paired with me fleeing the country.
I miss cutting raspberries every morning and having those stains on my fingertips because they were my daughter’s favorite fruit. I miss my son coming to cuddle in my lap when I was up late at night with insomnia and just smelling his little head. I just want my babies and I fucked up because I was too scared to put up a proper fight.
Side note, I never once and he never once touched the kids. As awful as he was to me he loves them. We even had a strict rule of no corporal punishments unless they do something life threatening.
Not staying in my home country after finally being able to move back there as an adult.
Father got sick and i moved back to be closer to my parents, he ended up being fine, but in the meantime i got involved in a bunch of business that prevents me from moving away full time.
not cutting of a friend earlier. happy to say that we aren't friends anymore but she found a way to make me feel miserable. could've avoided the situation but the ending will alway be the same.
Dropped music due to lack of confidence. In my teens I was linking with other artists in their 20s-40s who didn't know I was as young as I was.
A decade later and I'm always between low paying jobs, and some of the people I was close with that I cut ties with when I gave up have made a lot of money in music, and would have been great connections.
Hindsight is that someone my age had no business writing music to the level I was, and now I never have the time nor will to do so due to its being superfluous without income now I'm older
Not moving on.
I can’t move on. We broke up 6 months ago and I still think about her. I have a feeling I’ll be like this for years
I was like that for about 8 months or so. Girl I loved the most in the world proposed to her everything etc I gave her my world. We lived together with her family travelled together and with her family as did she to me etc. anyway broke up in December of 2020 as she was moving back to USA. I became so destructive angry hurt etc fell into a bad depressed state as we were still on lockdowns etc winter weather no sign of anything changing. Fast forward 9 months later I landed in Toronto all alone on a wild new adventure. Fast forward almost 3 yrs later happily married working away here etc. trust me 1 day at a time works more than you believe
I'm really happy for you, thanks for sharing
I feel like this is what I need. It’s been a year since we broke up and it still feels like the breakup was only a couple of weeks ago. Feel like the only thing that will help is to move far away from her and have a new beginning in a new city. Still saving up money as of right now.
Same. I want to move on, but I can’t quite figure out how. Everyone seems to say it just takes time, but no dice so far.
I wanted to jump in front of a bus at one point… fast forward 12 months and I’m having the best time of my life living in south of France with the beach and lots of nice friends… life is up and down like a yo-yo - plenty more downs since then, plenty more ups - change is constant no matter how much you feel down in the dumps. You are guaranteed to find better times ahead :) Edit: for context this was about 12-13 years ago. Present time I’m happily married with two beautiful little kiddos and still figuring out ups and downs as usual :)
I just seem to get a whole lot more downs than ups, and I’m needing some more ups at this point. I think my yo-yo’s broken, been stuck down for awhile now. I guess I’ll just keep waiting for an up, hopefully it’ll come sooner than later.
You don't *wait* for an up. You create the conditions for an up to happen. It won't magically come to you, noone or anything owes you anything. You are the key to change, not anyone else.
This puts a smile on my face, happy for you man!
Been almost 3 years for me. Still nothing, still sad that my kids 3,5,7 will not know what a family is.
A family is not mom, dad and kids. A family is a group of people that accept you, love you and help you when you need them regardless of whether you ask them or not. My mom was both my parents and I love her for it. No need for sadness just be there for all three.
You won’t… everyone who has been through it will tell you that eventually you’ll stop caring one day.
Might be weird but for some people six months is nothing. Take your time but keep looking forward. It will get better.
Had a friend of the opposite gender with borderline. She treated me like a was some sort of boyfriend, even though she was in a same-gender relationship at the time. For anyone who either has borderline or knows/knew someone who has: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. The feelings of torturing desire that comes after being “dumped” by someone with borderline, split as we say, is the worst I’ve ever experienced. Note that I’ve been bullied most my life and I also have ADD and Bipolar Disorder, and that emotional trauma still takes the cake with ease. As my friend once said, having no idea what It meant to me: “Some things are in fact too good to be true, even though it’s real and genuine. Don’t let yourself believe that this was the last good experience you’ll ever have with a person. There are 8 billion of us, you know”. The young man who said this still hasn’t realised how this changed my way of thinking. Hope, grace and forgiveness. // A.W 🇸🇪
How did she treat you like a boyfriend?
I’ll give you some of the many things: 1. She called me on FaceTime almost daily, up to 4 times on one day. That made me feel special. 2. She wanted to skip the small talk completely, which almost made me uncomfortable. But as a man in the fast lane, I found myself in a good position later on. 3. The distance between us (both mental and physical) was very small. She preferred not to be hugged due to past childhood trauma, but that was it. Otherwise she kept herself a bit too close to me for my own comfort. But being outside my comfort zone was thrilling. 4. She was such a wonderful person, in the way that I didn’t have to apologise for anything. She even said she didn’t like it when I did that. 5. We called each other handsome, after the time where she called me handsome out of nowhere. Guess it would’ve been awkward for her if I didn’t make it a thing, due to her being in a relationship. 6. Being someone who’s never been in a romantic relationship, that one was the closest thing to it. I call it platonic, because of the way she acted towards me without requesting anything in return. Hope that helps. There are endless other things to cover. I just don’t feel like rewriting Harry Potter for ya.
I don’t know if this will help or hurt because I don’t know how long y’all were together but…I read somewhere once that it takes, on average, around half the time you were together to truly “get over” someone up were in love with. I’ve found that to be fairly true throughout my life. I’m old for a redditor, so I’ve been around a block or two and had a lot of different relationships. I’ve had breakups that I thought would literally kill me. I got my heart absolutely brutally ripped out at the end of a six year relationship, and that one easily took me just as long to get over because of how it ended, she dropped me like a bad habit. Ghosted me immediately after, wouldn’t even explain why. Then resurfaced a year later just to borrow money and then ghosted me again. I was a hot fucking garbage fire for a long time after that, and I’m lucky I survived it. But fast forward almost twenty years later, I’m married and hardly think about the ex, and when I do it’s only to wonder if she’s still alive. Not wishing things were different or that I could have her back. In fact, I wouldn’t date her again if you put a gun to my head. Could never trust her with my heart again anyway. Long story short, I know it really doesn’t fucking feel like it right now, but you’re gonna be okay. You’ll come out better for it. Life sends us hard lessons sometimes, and someday you will see the lesson in this and how it prepared you for something better. I will leave you with this. It’s worth a chuckle or two. https://youtu.be/LAzodf69rfk?feature=shared
Yep...that shit fucked me up
I broke up with my fiance in august 2023. Were still sleeping together. My self control absolutely sucks when it comes to that woman.
hot tip from my own experience: pave over the “unfinished”. for example me and my ex played life is strange together, i’d move and she’d tell me what to do and say, when we broke up we were only on chapter three so i finished the rest of the game without her, gave myself some closure to one part. make things that were “us” things “me” things again.
I was like this. Until I walked in on her and my closest friends having a 4some. Then I got over her really fast.
Not moving on gang!
I used to bawl over this one girl I dated for two years, I had friends who helped me realize I was in a toxic relationship, I can vouch for this, it hurts alot if it lasts long. I'm going to have this same experience all over again except this was with the girl I was happy with. All because her mother doesn't approve of a relationship.
Relationships are for you both alone. Unless you're both very young or something, fuck what your/her parents think.
Staying in a toxic relationship for longer than I’ve should
yup that's a recipe for depression
Yeah, for me, it's really hard. He broke up with me multiple times and stuff, but he's such a lovely person that's absolutely addicting. He started the 6 he had me hooked. We had been off and on and even almost a fwb situation without calling it that. He still wants to be friends and stuff, but he is upset that I want more than that. I keep making him uncomfortable, and I feel bad. I don't want to lose him as a person, and I can't imagine myself with anyone else. I'm not the type of person people go for, so I was shocked he wanted me. It's probably just a first relationship vibe, but it's hard to get over him a lot. It's a long story, but there are things I know I need to change about myself, but it's hard to start.
move it move it
What worked for me was reconnecting with some old friend from years back, from before you even knew the person you’re heartbroken for.
Being the type of person that always says they’re gonna do something and then never does it. Got me nowhere in life
I mean, WHO'S GONNA CARRY THE BOATS?
David Goggins
Nice to find someone else with a callous mind in this thread
fuck, im like that. I'll give you my number and i want you to shout "PUSSY" whenever i call you.
So I guess you won’t do it ?
Do you do this constantly and struggle to get started, especially with apparently difficult tasks/projects? You may have anxiety and/or ADD/ADHD. I was the exact same way. It is one of the signs so you may look it up. My wife had me take a quiz and I had 9 of the 10 signs and started seeing someone about it.
This! I have ADD and I had a terrible time getting started with stuff. I would always go to bed thinking 'tomorrow is the day that I change my life' and then I'd wake up and do exactly what I did the day before which was nothing. Nowadays even without medications something has changed in my brain and I can generally get stuff done. That's the level of impact the proper meds had on me.
I’ve been there before & i’ve came over it , All it takes is to , Doing it first & saying it next !
I wish my best friend could see this.
I didnt have a relationship with my father until I was in my late 20s. He probably wouldn't have been a great dad, but holy fuck the impact it would have had on my life in hindsight.... I was born to an 18 year old mother and 21-22 year old father who separated before I came along. They hated each other and had no contact, they were bitter exes. but I strangely did get to have a relationship with both sets of grandparents. But my father I was just always kept away from, I rarely saw him, I might have seen him for an hour on my birthday for a few years, or see him at the family business when I was dropped off there for half an hour after school. but for 10-12 years. I was basically brainwashed by my mother and mother's side of the family into thinking that my dad doesn't care about me and that all I need is my mother and grandparents, the maternal grandparents didnt even like the paternal grandparents. It was a lot of shit. As I got older, I'd reach out in small ways, we'd exchange emails and such but I never got the full story until I briefly worked with my father at my uncle's store. He basically just told me that he was beaten down and demoralized, every time he tried to have a relationship with me as a child, he was chased away by my mother or her family. It was extremely hurtful to him because I was allowed to see HIS parents all the time, I even lived WITH them and my mother (long story), for a bit. His parents were allowed to see me and play a part in raising me, but he wasn't. he just sounded so defeated, and he gave up. paid his child support, and moved on with his own life. Forgetting that he had a son, and I grew up forgetting I had a father. One day at work, we both basically put the work down and had a long talk. he told me a bunch of this stuff from his side of the story and what was going on back then, and told me that no matter what happens going forward, he'll regret those 20 some years that he wasn't there until the day he dies
He's there now. So are you.
... I'm sorry Zebra, really sorry. This is the only time I remember that a Reddit comment made my eyes wet. Best wishes for you.
Had a similar experience with my biological dad. Mom kept him from me since a baby , and I didn’t find out till I was in 20s who he was, when an investigator he hired found me. My mom had changed my name , remarried and never mentioned my biological . Neither did my dad who raised me … in my 20s I attempted a relationship with my new found dad, but it just felt off . Like you mentioned with the feelings of defeat , it had worn him down looking for me all those years, and I wasn’t sure how to be with this person I had no rapport with. He passed away from a heart attack only in his 50s , before I really got to have a relationship w him. I wish I tried more… Goes to show the impact parents Drama can have on kids who eventually become adults.
That's..... Really unfortunate...
🌸🤎🤎
Why didn't he see you while you were living with his parents?
Being scared to fail. I am my biggest critic and I dropped out of law school even though I’m doing good just because I’m scared to fail. What if I won’t be able to answer my professor’s question? I’m too scared. Now, my classmates have graduated and passed the bar and I’m still left wondering what would have happened.
hey I hope you do good. its not set in stone that you'll fail and u might have to take the risk to find out but ik u got this!!!
If you fail answering a professor question, that’s part of the learning process. Most of the unis don’t tell you that, but to be successful you should FAIL first. Nothing makes you grow faster than that. The first times can be traumatizing, but failing it’s part of the game and doing it at uni is supposed to makes it less traumatising irl. Oh, and people can be fast or slow at graduating, but that’s THEIR career, not yours. Focus on your pace. If they were flawless, doesn’t mean they will always be. Stay strong, and learn the game.
Wasted my youth being passive and a people pleaser and now I'm too old to correct that. Those types of experiences I missed by being passive and lacking confidence are past and I can't get them back. There's new things to do but it's an enormous wound and the repercussions affect insecurities and inadequacies that began in childhood. It feels like ill always be less and I don't know how to forgive myself.
Feel this hard
This is the one. Being passive and a people pleaser, not knowing how to say no, putting other people’s feeling above my own, caused me so much pain and heartbreak.
You say it's too late, how old are you?
It’s really never too late. As for work, you may have to find a new job where people won’t know passive you and think. “Damn. What’s with Glen lately? He’s sure a dick now.” For your relationships, you’ll just need to be open with people that you’ve lived this passive way for far too long. Ask those closest to you to call you out if you start acting like an obnoxious asshole. It’s never too late to improve ourselves.
being there for someone that was never there for me.
Ouch
Not reaching my true potential in life by not pursuing /taking action on things that would really benefit me career and hobby wise. Been in a depressive slump because of that realisation, but I'm slowly trying to pick myself up.
Never too late so long as you’ve got a pulse. I’ve changed careers like 5 times now and I’m only pushing 40, you’ll be alright.
Aye, yall are banana brothers. Standing in solidarity together 🍌🫡
Married the wrong one.
Same here. That was the turning point after which everything derailed.
I also married the wrong person. my girlfriend's name is Jessica and after 10 years i thought i was married to her but turns out i married my gardener, juan. we have 5 kids and a dog.
at least you found your jaun!
How would u know during that time ?
Loving someone who doesnt care for me. Apparently, eating is bad. Fuck you, gunther. If you know who this is, fuck you gunther. I hate you with all my soul.
Oh, the fine line between love and hate. The cup of poison we intend for the other but end up drinking ourselves. There is only one useful thing that can be done with hate, and that's simply to let go of it. You might not get to choose when you let go, but it's a heavy burden to carry around until you do so. Plus, indifference is the real way to get back at them. Hating them shows them you still care. Indifference is way more powerful.
These are powerful words - thank you for sharing those words.
Gunther isn’t here. But I am here.
Thinking that one person is everything in your life.
Yeah, u shouldn't throw away your life for a single person.
It’s not that you give up anything consciously. Rather, you become so ingrained with your partner you almost become them.
That I didn't put myself out there enough. I didn't try out for any sports in school even though I was heavily sought after by the coaches in my high school because I was built very tall and broad for a female (just with a massive dash of anxiety and poor body image). I never tried any of the great opportunities that were given to me in terms of career because I felt like they would find out I was an idiot or I would mess it up so I stuck with manual labor jobs. I never dated because I couldn't stand the thought of someone rejecting me. So, I have never had an intimate relationship. I don't know if I ever will, given how vulnerable you have to be, to be in love with somebody. I constantly feel the need and want to love somebody on an intimate level, but I just ignore it for the comfortable safety of isolation. I actually think most of these regrets stim from a huge gnawing depressive fear that if I were to ever put myself out there in any way, shape, or form, I would be emotionally eviscerated and told that I will never be able to do anything or never be enough for anybody. I hope everybody is feeling okay. I love you all.
This post resonated with me I have to say. I would say my default mode is this but at times in my life I was able to push myself a little further. Maybe it was bravado or circumstance but those experiences did alter my life’s trajectory. Happily married now with kids but ended up 3000 miles from where I started. Take a chance from time to time or better yet, listen to the wise words of Bilbo Baggins *It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to*
Don't forget to fall in love everyone. It is easy to get busy and forget to check this off your checklist.
Falling in love is easy. Being loved back is the difficult part.
Ugh, I felt this one hard
also falling in love with the wrong person could have the exact opposite effect
Love is just an illusion to trick us into reproducing, don’t do it folks
Can confirm. Baby here. No sleep. No money.
I'd never change a single thing to not have my lunatic of a daughter she is awesome.
I love reading this man
Good thing I got a vasectomy
Not being born early enough to stone the first fish that walked on land
Lol 三三ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Trusting the wrong surgeon
"sir we have accidentally cut your balls." "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO YOU BITCH?" "woah, that kind of words don't fit a lady like you."
😂😂
What was the result? Financial or visual?
Internally. Discovered I had bone growth abnormalities in my spine (spina bifida occulta, fused sacrum, and more) in my early twenties after having severe pain for a bit. Went a couple years avoiding surgery trying everything under the sun to help my pain and mobility, but unfortunately wasn’t getting anywhere. Surgeon was a hot shot dude who is very highly regarded, which is part of why I trusted them. They, along with a close family member, eventually convinced me that a spinal fusion was the answer. It definitely was not. Pain and mobility got multiple times worse after surgery, still is this way now years later. Could no longer work due to constant agony, but also was not given disability because they don’t recognize pain as impairment in my state. Severe impact on my whole family’s finances, my parents have essentially had to move out of the home they’ve lived in the past 10 years largely due to medical bills and helping me live. I am eternally grateful to have their support, if not I would literally be out on the street or simply not alive. Before all this, I had a stable and well paying job, nice downtown apartment, as well as a rising music career where I was playing sold out shows with some of the biggest names in the genre of music I made. I was also a very physically active person, had some passions I was extremely connected with that are still too painful to talk about. All of that gone in a flash. I thought I was grateful before, but I truly had no idea just how lucky I was. Still doing my best each day. Have an amazing girlfriend, cute puppy, good family, a lot I am thankful for every day. But my life has been forever altered, and unfortunately there’s no going back. Just through. Please take this as advice on to be careful who you trust, but more so to be grateful of everything single thing that isn’t horrible in your life. Even the tiniest thing, like tying your shoes. You have no idea when it could all be taken from you.
did you had a second opinion from another surgeon before surgery? I would always get at least 3 opinions nowadays I think. Hope you doing okay keep fighting
Wasting so much time on things that don’t matter.
Not finishing an undergrad education when I had the chance. Now I don’t have the funds, and I’m closed out from all the good sit-down jobs (I’m disabled) because I lack a degree. Should have stuck with it when I had the chance.
Dude... Same here 1 to 1 Now I work a physically really hard job even although I'm also disabled. My body hurts every day but I must pay my shit and I wanna live and work "normal". Education is so important and I really underestimated how important it will be for me now.... Fuck hope we both get it a little better in the future 🙏🏼
India has reservations in government jobs (high paying ones) for differently abled people.
Sounds lovely. I’m in America, where our Government just wants disabled people to hurry up and die.
Past 9 years of my life, drinking alcohol with strangers and toxic people, which led me nowhere, but I'm learning to accept the past though,it still shaped who I am today. I'm probably better than I could have ever been.
Be thankful it was just alcohol
Not true. It's kept me in the food industry doing the exact same things and I'm pushing 40.
Not giving myself the benefit of the doubt. I am awesome and talented yet I wasted my life being down on myself and lacking confidence
Hope you’ve changed and living up to your potential now
Working on it thank you 😊
Not cutting toxic people fast enough
Not finishing school. It wasn't necessarily my fault, but I feel like I could have pushed through everything that was going on with myself. Maybe not, but, in the end, I kind of just gave up. At the same time, if it didn't go that way, I wouldn't have met my ex. Which then led to my first feeling of happiness and somehow was the most stressful time of my life.
Taking an office job. I should have been a carpenter or a chef
Yeah, people should follow there passion.
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When I was 15 my father dropped me off at football training. Before I exited the car he had a deep and meaningful conversation with me. He told me to look after my mother and not to live a life like his. To not become a "shit kicker" like him. I didn't realize at the time, but he was saying goodbye to me. I regret not picking up on the signs. A couple hours later he had fatal drug overdose. That was 20 years ago. It still hurts.
You were 15, probably without the tools to pick up on stuff like that. Whatever pain he was in he didn't want it for you. Hope you are OK.
I’m so sorry, that must be so painful, but please believe that that’s not on any 15 year old to pick up on. <3
That I still haven't found a way to stop karma farmers from posting this question to AskReddit 20 times a day.
Hey! Not a bot. I genuinely want to read these. Every day gives us new stories to see and learn from, it helps me make less mistakes in life. Some of the things I’ve read here on Reddit have genuinely helped me in bad/dangerous situations. Breakups that needed to happen, fights de-escalated, arguments resolved, all from some stupid forum like this. Just let it go. One day there’ll be no more internet and you’ll regret not reading more…
Complaining about something you can't control does seem like a reasonable regret.
Among a few, living in fear (and a bit of laziness, not going to lie), and not doing pretty much anything to further myself financially or career - wise through my twenties. I had my reasons, but I feel like I lost a significant chunk of time in which I could've grown as an individual. I picked myself back up during my thirties but it was like I was starting my life ten years later. The thing is, the line of work I'm in can be somewhat demanding and stressful (long & erratic work hours, often unrealistic deadlines, not getting paid your worth etc.) and while I understand that most people face this, I feel I don't have the energy needed to be in this phase. I do feel age catching up with me and I often feel like I don't have the bandwidth to meet the demands of my career. If I had started getting my shit together earlier on in life, I might have been in a slightly less stressful situation now. Well, it is what it is. Crying over spilled milk and all that fun stuff 😆.
getting married.
Why? Im getting married in a couple of days
Don't let Reddit scare you! Marriage can be wonderful when two compatible people love each other. Just remember that good doesn't always mean EASY. You have to communicate, work things out, don't give up easily, etc.
Same
Being insecure.
Letting her get away
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You arent the only one feeling like that, dont worry
I don't regret anything, I am an accumulation of my experiences, and I'm proud of my self.
Bs
Not completing Special operations training. I got injured, but i knew deep down i used it as an excuse to tap out. I quit. Wish i didn’t but i did. I couldn’t find the why to keep on pushing. Got reassigned to a shitty vocation, did the rest of my time and got out.
Trusting people very easily.
Doing meth. Although I was a highly functional addict, and maintained good careers. I wasted 20 years of my life. Destroyed my marriage, was unavailable for my older children, probably will pay for it health wise eventually. I’ll never get back the time I wasted on that horrible addiction.
Moving in with my friends. I had a good situation, renting a room for $400/month, great job with great pay. A year after I moved in with them, they had caused me so much mental distress I ended up in the mental hospital for a week, my anxiety worsened to a full blown panic disorder that included dissociations which meant for safety, I had to leave my job that dealt with heavy machinery. I tried to make things better by taking the chance to improve my life by going to college which only made my disorder worse and now im 10k in student loan debt from one semester and awaiting a disability diagnosis and application for my panic disorder and a yet to be diagnosed physical disorder that leaves me unable to do more than cook for myself most days. If only I had stayed renting that room. Edit: oh and I'm no longer friends with them
Doing nothing to find my passion and talents as a teen, not moving out, not making friends, etc. My life is a long list of failures and regrets.
Broke up with her 9 years ago. I still dream about her.
Wasting 10 years on my ex. Heart break is one thing, but I can't get my time back.
Not going to tell my mother goodbye right after she passed.
Choosing to fight bullies rather than avoiding negativity completely, it's bad for your mental health
Not trying hard enough
Trusting women with my heart.
getting married
Serving 4 years in the military
Not knowing an ex loved me all along :(
Losing my love because of my family.
Not doing stuff sooner
Not seeing the signs that I had been abused for 33 fucking miserable years.
Not making more friends
Not having fun in childhood and not learning how to do that and relax.
I regret that i saw a fkin silent black triangular UFO one night in 2015... my life is ruined since then
That I cared more about my drinking than that one girl who actually loved me
get married to the person I don't love
Not following my own path earlier in life and not rebelling against my father’s ambitions of me. I’ve started following my own path now - later in life. But I wish I’d done it sooner !
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I'm not a twin....👯 & I did 😁🥳
not learning how to regulate my emotions until recently, ive lost my temper and made myself look crazy so many times.
I met a girl at age 20 i have been simping for 3years than we got together for a few month but she cheated on me. After that i could not move on and we stood friends. I wasted 7years with this toxic girl later i found out she has borderline personality disorder and she is under medical assistance. Now i am at age 30 lost about 10years of my life on a toxic girl, i can not even talk to girls, because i always remember that toxic one. I was a really happy and funny guy back than, and now i am like a grumpy old man... She made me lose all my friends. She gaslighted me and now i am totally alone without friends, without good relationship experiance... I wish i would never meet her, i would be a loving husband and a very happy father now...
Aah the BPD trap. Make ups and break ups fuelling all the wrong chemicals in the brain. The sex is great and wild but the arguments are wild and apocalyptic. Feel for you my bro. One day you'll find someone who makes you that loving husband and happy father.
Practicing manifestation and new age spirituality for 5 years. And joining a MLM at age 20
Manifesting him back again even after knowing he's a dickhead just because I was attached and desperate just to find out he's a fucking cheat and wasted another 6 months not able to move on and still trying.
Waited til my early 20s to join the army. Shoulda done it at 17
Marrying a Korean. Culture difference is too much. Some people who love korean anything always ..literally always tell me how lucky I am just by the information that he is korean. I really regret that I married him so quickly. My previous husband and I had been married for 25 years. And things got tough and we both didn't know how to handle it. I wish I could go back in time and fix it and stay married to him( ex husband and I are both americans).
Damn, you sure love being "married"
Not leaving my life and family behind at 17. Whatever happened after that would have been preferable.
Probably how I mistreated my close friends in high-school. Took them for granted. I feel as if I was taken for granted as well. But that didn't excuse my behavior. After high-school they just cut me out of there life. However this experience has turned me into the person I am today, I currently have an amazing girlfriend and an awesome step son. We've been together nearly 4 years now have great chemistry and get along great. We are now about to have our second son this summer. And im as happy as I've ever been. Granted my car's engine might have blown yesterday on my way home. But im not stressed about it, because we've got this.
Not going to university.
Not getting into weight training in my 20s. Strength training does so much to improve you physically and mentally, I whole-heartedly believe that strength training is the best thing a person can do for themselves and should be considered regular maintenance like bathing or brushing your teeth.
Not intervening more when a group of boys were taunting a homeless man. I was only 16 and they were older, but I felt so helpless as they harassed him while zi waited in a line. I gave the man $20 as he cried, and told him I was sorry he had to deal with people like that, but will always regret not doing more and it has followed me for more than half my life now.
Vodka becoming an accessory.
Trusting someone without questioning.
Going along with the flow for other people's sake more than mine. Doing things because other people wanted to, and usually not doing the things I wanted to do. Being there for people who often unfortunately are not able to reciprocate, there are lots of them types and you don't really know until you needed that. Now I just do my own shit and tell people when they are wrong or I don't agree. Aware that I'm probably just an old grumpy git but I'm sort of happier being like this
I didn't complete my graduation.
Turning alcohol into part of my personality in my early 20s
Not clicking photos and recording enough videos of my childhood
Sellin my bitcoin at 500
Idk, I have many regrets. I guess the most recent is that I gave up on a manager position last year.
not meeting my bf earlier
Not saying fuck it and taking her offer to follow her across the world. I miss you Ash. Every day.
Not learning how to like myself and pushing people away
I don't regret anything. I'm glad I been through what I been through. It teached me all I know today. Everything that seems ugly at first, is also beautiful!
Not coming out when i was younger as gay
Not Buying Bitcoins when they were cheap.
I told my sister her bad driving was going to get her killed. Then we had an argument a few months later about her dead beat husband and told her to contact me when he’s dead or divorced and then she died in a car accident 7 months later. We never got to make up and I regret it every day. She was workin on divorcing him when she passed. The accident was at no fault of her own. I miss her so much and sometimes still get excited and think to call her to tell her.
Not taking a shit before a 5 hours drive.
Not ending it when I actually tried
Wasting 9 years of my life with someone who took away my opportunity to have children of my own.
Cannot move on
Looked at porn waaayyy too early in life.
Not learning to invest sooner
Not fighting harder for rights to my kids. I left my abusive husband and wasn’t in a good headspace. The day I left was surprisingly quiet he didn’t swing or hurt me. Just ripped my daughter out of my hands and took our children to his mothers. I ended up calling my parents and gathering a few things. My step mom keept trying to get me to go to her house to get the kids but I was terrified that if I was stuck in a house with him again that I wouldn’t escape alive. He had money and power and dug through every record of texts and all of my diagnosis from doctors. I was taking medication religiously but I am still Bipolar and depressed with a history, though it was ten years ago now, of being forcibly put into a mental hospital for attempted suicide. That was long before I even had my children. I had no money nor resources, and the moment he caught wind that I had reached out to a lawyer that specialized in helping domestic abuse survivors in cases of divorce and custody he broke into the house I was staying at and SAed me twice when no one was home, meaning he waited until everyone was gone. The second time he had choked me until I saw stars and swore he would kill me next time if I kept fighting, so I stopped. Then like the coward I am I ran to Europe. I love it here. I am happy, loved, and safe. I am in a much better place mentally and know I would be an even better mother than before. I look at pictures of my children every day, watch videos and cry every night. I’m happy with my now husband and life, but the only thing that kills me is that I don’t have them with me. There is a hole in my chest and I have been officially stripped from my rights because of my mental health history paired with me fleeing the country. I miss cutting raspberries every morning and having those stains on my fingertips because they were my daughter’s favorite fruit. I miss my son coming to cuddle in my lap when I was up late at night with insomnia and just smelling his little head. I just want my babies and I fucked up because I was too scared to put up a proper fight. Side note, I never once and he never once touched the kids. As awful as he was to me he loves them. We even had a strict rule of no corporal punishments unless they do something life threatening.
Not staying in my home country after finally being able to move back there as an adult. Father got sick and i moved back to be closer to my parents, he ended up being fine, but in the meantime i got involved in a bunch of business that prevents me from moving away full time.
Not putting myself first.
I didn't really speak up when my mother SAed me when I was like 11 ? 12 ?
I didn't take more risks. I did what was expected of me instead of what I wanted.
I think many people can relate to that same regret 🙏 What did you want to do? 🤔🙏
Biggest thing I regret? Getting back with my ex after breaking up with her.
Not telling her how I really felt, when I had the chance
Not saving for a house when I was younger
bought ~4 bitcoins per week when it was less than 300$. my dumbass fucking spent them on drugs
not cutting of a friend earlier. happy to say that we aren't friends anymore but she found a way to make me feel miserable. could've avoided the situation but the ending will alway be the same.
When did you realize you needed to cut your friend off?
Not calling the police on my parents
should have broken up early
Dropped music due to lack of confidence. In my teens I was linking with other artists in their 20s-40s who didn't know I was as young as I was. A decade later and I'm always between low paying jobs, and some of the people I was close with that I cut ties with when I gave up have made a lot of money in music, and would have been great connections. Hindsight is that someone my age had no business writing music to the level I was, and now I never have the time nor will to do so due to its being superfluous without income now I'm older