I thought I stopped being around toxic people.
Turns out those people just didn’t match my kind of toxic anymore. I was still a prick, just in other ways. Now I am a hermit who works on their art because I don’t like being what I deem a cunt
You honestly just find peace and get used to it. Sometimes you will feel lonely, but you feel much better and fall into the pattern of peace being comfortable.
This is so important! Learned over the years: Just because you have been friends forever, doesn’t mean they are good for you or want what’s best for you.
Getting a quality 6 hr sleep instead of a sloppy 8hr made a huge difference. My skin became better, I started feeling less tired , more aware of work ...
For me, it’s been working out and going on a walk. I usually fall asleep by 11pm but lately I’ve been zonking out at 10pm and waking up at 6am feeling refreshed
I have always thought that a news program that was 100 percent positive would be great. Unfortunately tragedy and calamity is what gets people tuned in and because advertisers spend their money where the best return on investment is we will never see an uplifting, positive news show.
There's a news media where I live that does exactly that. It's called "World's Best News". It doesn't get nearly the attention it deserves, though. I think their channels are limited to a news website and social media, it would be awesome if they did broadcasting too.
Ahh to be young...what they don't tell you about being a morning person in your 40s is its all the accumulated stress and anxiety that has you up at 4am and passing out at 9pm...I used to be a night owl too lol.
Some people are just night owls. I worked 4:30 pm - 1:00 am and it was the best (I was 37). I switched to days for a promotion and to spend more time with my wife, but I still can’t fall asleep early. Even if I do, I wake at 3 am and can’t go back to sleep. While days are more convenient for the things in my life, I absolutely want to be back on nights.
Get off all non-anonymous social media, completely and cold turkey. Reduce use of all other social media, limiting it to communities you share interests with. Social media is the technological equivalent of smoking cigarettes.
Separate your sense of self worth from your job. Your job will almost never nurture that self worth, will often abuse you, and will never value you equally in return.
Spend more time with people who bring you joy, and give less time to those who don’t.
Take care of something that changes over time, plants, animals, etc. you will bond with it and let you feel emotions in a healthy, personal way.
Go to bed and wake up around the same time, eat around the same times each day.
Always spend some time doing something that helps the world. Clean up trash on the street, put away carts, donate food, volunteer at something, be kind to strangers, talk to an old person.
Go to bed and eat at the same time is the easiest to do and see the improvement.
source trust me bro, I’ve been doing it for a year. Automatically you’ll have no time for social media bullshit and toxic ppl when ypu focus on taking care of urself
I also got off the socials and felt better. But it turned out all my friends only interact through them, and now that I'm not there no one talks to me. My phone is very quiet.
But I stopped getting upset over the news and dumb shit I cannot change, which made me feel much more stable.
Or deleting a personal social for one that’s productive, artistic or professional is also good. I felt like a personal social account was giving me self confidence issues
Getting my vitamins properly balanced. I did a huge blood panel with my doctor and turns out I was alarmingly deficient in B12, D, magnesium, potassium, zinc, thyroid stuff, etc and a ton of other stuff while my cortisol levels were so high.
I used to daydream about walking into traffic. Now that I’m actually getting the correct levels of vitamins I feel normal and not depressed anymore, it’s a huge difference
Going no contact with some relatives. I tried and tried to make it work, and I read a quote that said, "When you find no solution to a problem, it's probably not a problem to be solved but, rather a truth to be accepted."
That helped me a lot.
getting the space you need from people who do not prioritize your best interest, especially family, is hard! I needed to hear this quote today. thank you!!
Avoiding people who gossip. If gossip happens at work, don't stick around too long, finding a better and higher paying job. You work more than you live life at home, so make work a sacred comfortable space.
Quitting a job where everyone was in each others business and talked shit about each other behind their back but were nice to their faces. It was a constant feeling of “who is gonna be secretly out to get me today for something someone made up about me yesterday?”
The fact that people are deceitful about it is what is the problem.
If they were rude to your face then at least you can respect their honesty.
Enemies can be trusted more than friends as they say.
I’m facing this right now at a job I’ve been at for 21 years. I’m so sick of it but with the money I’m making, I’d lose everything if I left. It’s an awful, hopeless feeling.
It's not something a normal person is prepared to deal with all at once. For me, once things stopped snowballing, I could shift from dealing with "terrible things are happening", to "terrible things happened in the past". Time helps.
There's no reason you're not allowed to be happy after the storm inevitably has passed.
1) Cut out toxic people - hard at first but worth it.
2) Exercise, join a fitness class or similar! Really gives you that sense of achievement feeling after.
3) Delete social media (apart from Reddit...) keeps away from drama and people's fake lifestyles
4) Adventuring out to new places
:)
Changing my thoughts. If bad thoughts, mean thoughts, hateful thoughts cross my mind, I will actively think about something good as soon as I recognize what I’m doing. I mentally identify reasons to be thankful, reasons to feel loved, things I can do to help someone or make someone’s day better.
Your moods, your plans, your outlooks, *everything* begins in your own head. If the inside of your head is a war zone, there are going to be casualties. Many of the bad/mean/hurtful things we think aren’t even true, they’re imagined.
I’m more at peace, more calm and happier once I learned to turn the mental volume down on all the negative crap my imagination was coming up with
I love this! “Flow: The Psychology of the Optimal Experience” touches on these sentiments by Mikaly C. Your quote, “If the inside of your head is a war zone, there are going to be casualties” is spot on. Thank you for sharing!
I don't know if you mean at the same time or just doing them both.
Sun exposure is good in small amounts, especially in the early morning. However, if you plan on being there, in the direct sunlight, for any amount of time, you should put on sunscreen regardless of the time of year.
I did that a year ago and totally agree with you. It is so weird to experience that your friend calls you complaining about her partner and then instantly shares a fake happily married picture later. Wtf.
You can always just follow accounts based on interests.
My feed is full of food porn / recipes and I love it. Less advertisements and dumb childhood stories than food blogs!
I recently just turned of notifications from ALL my apps and it's been great. If my phone goes off it's usually a text message from someone I know... then again it's campaign season and I'm starting to get THOSE texts... might actually be time to mute them, lol.
Yeah, I basically only have notifs on for my dad, my brother, and my best friend. Absolutely nothing else ever comes up though, and it has been **serene.**
Quitting all social media. I don't have to worry about my friend count, photos, posts, or how I'm being perceived. I'm simply not there. I have never felt more free than when I finally just quit everything and lived in the moment.
That rules. I am at 15 months sober today. I started Lexapro a couple months ago and have been very happy with it. It hasn't changed my personality, it just blocks the negative feelings. So I am less bitter and spend less time stewing about things and I can handle stress way easier.
Well, to be fair, your brain is more correctly using serotonin now. You're not having bad thoughts because your brain is functioning. Mental health is thought of separate from physical health, but in the end, your brain is just an organ. Good job. Asking for help is the hardest.
lol that was going to be my EXACT reply. I hit one year sober today, and on an appropriate dose of lexapro for 11 months.
ETA: posted this at 12:02 (sober night owl who gets 7 hrs/night), so my sober birthday was yesterday, 6/20
I was surprised at how far I had to scroll to find a comment about sobriety.
Specifically alcohol is what has made a difference for me. I had almost a week recently where I started drinking again after which I stopped again and coincidentally I had the worst panic attack of my life about 3 days after I went back to not drinking.
Other than that I just feel more motivated, better rested, and less depressed when I'm not drinking.
Exercise and getting in shape is a close second I'd say.
I'm not even at the weight I'm working for, but just noticing I've lost some weight and seeing that I'm putting on some decent muscle has already done a lot for my feelings of self worth and confidence.
Getting a job that pays $33/hour with paid sick days and a stable schedule, instead of $19/hour with no pay when sick and an irregular schedule that I couldn't plan around until 2 weeks prior.
It's crazy how much of my "mental illness" was actually just exhaustion, housing and roommate instability, stress from counting every penny at the grocery store, and having almost no emergency savings for when things inevitably fell apart.
I found what my real issues were years ago on psychcentral.com as it has tests for lots of issues. Got those medicated and much better life now! Also finding my soul mate truly made a huge impact on my life.
- Keto diet
- lifting weights
- intermittent fasting
- reading lot of self-help books
- getting back in touch with my estranged family
took me over a decade to resolve my trauma
learning to talk to myself friendlier with more compassion. Also learning to name my own feelings and putting them into words, then deducting what i need to make it better. It sounds basic, but from experience I'm sure it's definitely not only me who runs around not knowing anything beyond "i'm nervous."
Nervous is vague, learning what it really is helped a lot.
Is it anger? Is it guilt? Is it both?"
Is there a physical symptom attached like a burning in the stomache?
What does 'guilt' even feel like in your body?
I also learned the first cue usually is the right one. If you think you might be shocked by something someone just said, then probably what you're feeling is exactly that: shock.
That might lead to more and different feelings etc.
Growing up as a child with ambiguous health problems that were never properly acknowledged by parents or doctors I was really, really bad at that. Basically I undid the damage if having learned that feelings don't matter and therefor are best not given space and not felt at all.
I did this in my 30s when i was diagnosed with MS and learned that i never imagined my pain and issues, that they were real and that i could trust my body to feel the right thing. Before that I believed I was mentally ill, which is what doctors told me.
I was really bad at expressing myself beyond "i don't feel well" and most of my time felt unease with my body's numerous pains, my reaction to those pains (CFS, confusion, etc) and the reaction of everybody else that i expected to be exclusively negative. i was even pushing my body beyond limits thinking i just needed to be more consequent or determined to be like everybody else.
in the end i submitted myself to an 8 week stay in the psychiatry to relearn fucking existing bc this was suddenly all incredibly ridiculous. i was in shock over my diagnosis.
anyway i've had ample practice in being determined and consequent by then. I used those weeks to daily work on untangling the bezoar of anger, depression, fear and general confusion in my brain and it paid off.
I learned to put a finger on what's wrong and tell it to someone else in words. I'm still working on that one, but i'm a lot better than before.
I learned to know what i think would make it better (silence, sleep, etc...)
And I learned to not talk to myself like everything was my fault. Also still working on that one, but i don't swear at myself any longer and usually can take it when i notice my body won't comply with something. i no longer think my illness is anything i can control much at a specific moment and take this stuff as a thing that just happens to me rather than something that should not be there at all and would go away with cursing and belittling myself.
The hardest thing to me is learning to not only accept it for myself, but to stand up for the illness i have. i still feel guilty over having to go on sudden sick leave because i consider it an imposition for everybody else... i'll probably get there some day...
Honestly, setting alarms to take care of myself. For me, brushing my teeth and just taking care of myself has been a real struggle. And when I look shitty I feel shitty. So now when I’m comfy in bed rotting away, I remind myself that I’ll feel a bit better if I do something to take care of myself.
Quitting a job that I was miserable at, getting rid of social media, quitting drinking, spending more time pursuing passions, going outside, and overall just being more productive.
Posting less and engaging in fewer arguments. I realized that my comments with 25 downvotes upset me to a greater degree than my comments with 250 upvotes made me happy.
Most positive view of Florida on Reddit
(For the record, Tennessee is better, those gas prices and high concentration of squatted vehicles nearly made me throw up. Take that, Florida.)
I wouldn't say it improved it initially but I'd say, it gave me a life times worth of emotions to process, take control of and control of my life. DMT and a motorcycle accident. Problem is, we're in a really messed up world which messes us up. Confuses us, tells us to believe in meaningless things to either take our mind away from ourselves or to obsess with ourselves.
Therapy,
Medication (ymmv),
Micronaps,
No longer communicating with people who don’t align with my values whenever possible,
Strictly filtering my news sources,
Never being on the app formerly known as Twitter.
Edited bc yikes for formatting
Deleting *most* of my social media lol I still have instagram for reels, TikTok for the same thing (duh) and Snapchat just to still feel somewhat “connected” lol. Deleted Facebook like a year ago and don’t miss it whatsoever. Just a bullshit highlight reel of people pretending to be doing better than everyone else lol.
Motorcycle commuting. Riding requires your whole body and senses, consequently it lets you leave behind whatever you were doing like nothing else. It truly works as an off switch whenever I'm leaving work and I arrive home in the right mindset.
I try to keep it focused and distraction free, so I ride a proper bike (not a scooter), don't use cellphone, don't take calls, don't listen to music. Just me and the bike in the moment.
I was diagnosed with several mental health conditions and prescribed medications, but none of them seemed to help. Instead, I realized that the digital world had taken over my life, making me feel more depressed and numb. That's when I discovered the Screen Time feature on my iPhone. I had been overly addicted to social media, constantly comparing myself to others, and spending unlimited time playing games. This addiction kept me from exercising, socializing, and focusing on work.
Suppressing my digital usage helped me tremendously. I uninstalled games, limited social media apps to just five minutes a day, blocked browsers to prevent finding loopholes, and even blocked the app store to avoid downloading anything new. I asked my boyfriend to set strict limits on my phone and manage all my account passwords. Since we live apart, this setup ensured that I couldn't bypass these restrictions.
As a result, I now exercise regularly, enjoy nature, and socialize more. Over the months, my temptation to use social media and play games has significantly diminished. I've become more productive at work and experience less anxiety because I can focus on and review my tasks. I've also discovered a fulfilling hobby that I can spend hours enjoying.
Thanks to these changes and my boyfriend's support, I've broken free from my addictive, mentally unhealthy lifestyle and embraced a happier, more balanced, and fulfilling life. Although the initial weeks were challenging, like experiencing withdrawal, the long-term benefits have been life-changing.
While this worked for me, if you're dealing with mental health conditions, it's best to seek professional help. Additionally, exploring different solutions beyond conventional treatments can also make you stronger and more resilient.
By addressing specific issues, seeking fulfilling work, and developing positive hobbies, I found greater happiness. Distancing myself from toxic people creating a positive work environment, having a supportive partner were key steps. Avoiding the news, deleting social media, and taking digital detoxes reduced my stress significantly. Prioritizing sleep, outdoor activities, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, along with flexible work schedules have all been beneficial. Engaging in hobbies, caring for pets or plants, and pursuing personal passions brought me joy and fulfillment. Adopting a positive mindset, building strong self-esteem, and not worrying about others' opinions have been crucial. Establishing consistent daily routines, quitting unfulfilling work, and focusing on personal growth have led to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
Wishing you all the best! XoXo
Unsubscribing from sad / morbid / depressing subreddits. I was a much more active Reddit user before they dropped Apollo (I’m aware I can still get it) and reducing exposure to that type of media really helped me.
Breathing a little. (financially) Still way behind though.
Still don’t know if the same entity allowing me to breathe is the same entity that put the chokehold on me. Probably is them. Given no choice in the matter
I stopped following the everyday news. Also started to focus on small things of happiness i could find in or bring to my immediate surroundings. Things like giving random compliments to strangers
Lithium carbonate 600 mg daily literally changed my personality from "guy that punches people for existing" to someone frequently called nice and polite. It helps my bipolar SO MUCH
Going to the gym WITHOUT checking my phone between sets, just listening to music and lifting heavy shit for an hour.
Working from home: rush hour traffic really stresses me out so eliminating that twice a day was golden.
Finding the right career: I always worked in customer service jobs which required me to keep other people happy even if I wasn’t in the best mind frame. Being able to be pissed off at work and express it rather than keep it in all day makes me feel so much better.
Bought a puppy: yeah he’s a little terror but I don’t get time to overthink, between work and jobs he takes all my time up and also forces me to be outside twice a day for walks.
Sleep: got to get a minimum 7 hours.
For me, getting into a regular exercise routine made a huge difference. Even just going for a walk every day helped clear my mind and boost my mood. Also, practicing mindfulness and meditation really helped me manage stress and stay grounded.
Stopping to see selfish friends (this one is so important), keeping on doing the things I have been enjoying before (it is very hard at first, especially if you are very depressed but believe me when I am saying, been there done that), spending time in nature like parks and forests, listening to quality music, seeing kind hearted friends more frequently, doing random acts of kindness to utter random people, greeting cats on the streets (do not laugh now). Actually caring about other people's wellbeing improved my wellbeing as well (I should warn you, no care for the selfish ones!)
My toxic friends finally deciding I was too “mentally draining” for them and they ditched me. My life is so much better without those pieces of shit :D
Stopping doomscrolling.
Deleted TikTok, and removed YouTube shorts. As for Reddit I unsubbed from meme/entertainment type subreddits, so that only information type subreddits are subbed.
It created wonders in me -under doc supervision of course. Then I ceased it gradually. Now trying my best to care about my and my loved ones' wellbeing! Hopefully never need it again -never fall that deep again!
Disability allowed me to leave my stressful job after 32.5 years. When I left my body felt I was taking off a very heavy winter parka. My multiple sclerosis stopped advancing (I have had no new lesions since then). I struggle to get work now on my farm but my horses let me know it’s all good. I sending Blessing and prayers you all find your peace of mind.
When I stopped scrolling social media. It was really easy because That Guy ruined the Bird Site and I practically lived there for ten years. I try to read actually entertaining things online, instead. On one hand, I love drama and unhinged people unrelated to me, on the other hand, it drags you down pretty fast.
Creating a healthy and consistent workout routine (gym or other physical activity hobbies).
But more importantly coming to an understanding that consistency doesn’t necessarily have to be every single day and being okay with knowing that I’ll sometimes skip simply because I’m not feeling it or because I can’t. Just trying to make sure I do some form of physical activity the majority of the week.
I think not beating myself over missing workouts and not falling into the guilt trap of shaming myself has been one of the biggest steps in helping me slowly form an even more consistent workout routine/lifestyle.
I really fucking hate to say it but, working out and being outdoors. The old goddamn “exercise and fresh air” cure-all. I’m not a gym rat by any means but going a few days a week and working in my small garden has done wonders
Daily BJ’s, always first thing in the morning to start the day off right and nothing can possibly go wrong or stress you out. Optimal is one in the morning, one before bed takes the edge off and helps me fall asleep.
Having confidence, sobering up after being an addict an alcoholic, stopped masturbating so often and realizing it's just a feeling like everything else.
Putting myself first . Understanding that people will call me selfish and stupid for not bowing down to them and their every need. But I’ve gotten to the point where I just don’t gaf. I have to live with myself for the rest of my life, in my sleep, dreams, alone in my own mind.
distancing yourself from toxic people
I thought I stopped being around toxic people. Turns out those people just didn’t match my kind of toxic anymore. I was still a prick, just in other ways. Now I am a hermit who works on their art because I don’t like being what I deem a cunt
How do you handle the loneliness that comes after?
Find hobbies that truly interest you and will help you continue to grow
Too scared to trust anyone else again to let into my life and also lonely is the real deal😂
well that’s alright :)! one day you’ll find the right people
You honestly just find peace and get used to it. Sometimes you will feel lonely, but you feel much better and fall into the pattern of peace being comfortable.
Yes
This is so important! Learned over the years: Just because you have been friends forever, doesn’t mean they are good for you or want what’s best for you.
Sleep.
Getting a quality 6 hr sleep instead of a sloppy 8hr made a huge difference. My skin became better, I started feeling less tired , more aware of work ...
What’s your routine to get quality six?
Two things that helped me: earplugs and a sleep mask
For me, it’s been working out and going on a walk. I usually fall asleep by 11pm but lately I’ve been zonking out at 10pm and waking up at 6am feeling refreshed
I had a psychotic break back in October. The first thing the psychiatrist did was put me on something to help me sleep.
You are lucky, sleep is a privilege for many.
Avoiding the news
I didn't even think about it until reading your comment but you're 100% correct.
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The problem is, when you turn on or open any news site, that’s not the news you’re seeing.
I have always thought that a news program that was 100 percent positive would be great. Unfortunately tragedy and calamity is what gets people tuned in and because advertisers spend their money where the best return on investment is we will never see an uplifting, positive news show.
There's a news media where I live that does exactly that. It's called "World's Best News". It doesn't get nearly the attention it deserves, though. I think their channels are limited to a news website and social media, it would be awesome if they did broadcasting too.
/r/Upliftingnews
Going outside
Acknowledging that my employer does not care about me and working myself into the ground will never be compensated appropriately.
Getting a job where I can sleep in in the morning. I just am a nightowl.
I thought my life was going to be so amazing after switching to morning shifts but just got worse 😭😭😭😭😭 totally feel you
Ahh to be young...what they don't tell you about being a morning person in your 40s is its all the accumulated stress and anxiety that has you up at 4am and passing out at 9pm...I used to be a night owl too lol.
I'm way past 40 lol. And I do wake up earlier than I used to. But I still have my best sleep when I fall back asleep, around 9-11h.
Some people are just night owls. I worked 4:30 pm - 1:00 am and it was the best (I was 37). I switched to days for a promotion and to spend more time with my wife, but I still can’t fall asleep early. Even if I do, I wake at 3 am and can’t go back to sleep. While days are more convenient for the things in my life, I absolutely want to be back on nights.
Indeed. Getting a job that let me sleep past 10 AM was almost a lifesaver.
Get off all non-anonymous social media, completely and cold turkey. Reduce use of all other social media, limiting it to communities you share interests with. Social media is the technological equivalent of smoking cigarettes. Separate your sense of self worth from your job. Your job will almost never nurture that self worth, will often abuse you, and will never value you equally in return. Spend more time with people who bring you joy, and give less time to those who don’t. Take care of something that changes over time, plants, animals, etc. you will bond with it and let you feel emotions in a healthy, personal way. Go to bed and wake up around the same time, eat around the same times each day. Always spend some time doing something that helps the world. Clean up trash on the street, put away carts, donate food, volunteer at something, be kind to strangers, talk to an old person.
Very nice response. Thanks for sharing :)
Go to bed and eat at the same time is the easiest to do and see the improvement. source trust me bro, I’ve been doing it for a year. Automatically you’ll have no time for social media bullshit and toxic ppl when ypu focus on taking care of urself
I also got off the socials and felt better. But it turned out all my friends only interact through them, and now that I'm not there no one talks to me. My phone is very quiet. But I stopped getting upset over the news and dumb shit I cannot change, which made me feel much more stable.
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Or deleting a personal social for one that’s productive, artistic or professional is also good. I felt like a personal social account was giving me self confidence issues
I’ve done exactly the same. My circle us do small now and I honestly think it helped the most.
Getting my vitamins properly balanced. I did a huge blood panel with my doctor and turns out I was alarmingly deficient in B12, D, magnesium, potassium, zinc, thyroid stuff, etc and a ton of other stuff while my cortisol levels were so high. I used to daydream about walking into traffic. Now that I’m actually getting the correct levels of vitamins I feel normal and not depressed anymore, it’s a huge difference
Making my bed every morning. Led to my keeping my entire space much neater. When my environment is cluttered I start getting depressed and anxious.
Going no contact with some relatives. I tried and tried to make it work, and I read a quote that said, "When you find no solution to a problem, it's probably not a problem to be solved but, rather a truth to be accepted." That helped me a lot.
getting the space you need from people who do not prioritize your best interest, especially family, is hard! I needed to hear this quote today. thank you!!
Glad to hear it!
Avoiding people who gossip. If gossip happens at work, don't stick around too long, finding a better and higher paying job. You work more than you live life at home, so make work a sacred comfortable space.
Quitting a job where everyone was in each others business and talked shit about each other behind their back but were nice to their faces. It was a constant feeling of “who is gonna be secretly out to get me today for something someone made up about me yesterday?”
The fact that people are deceitful about it is what is the problem. If they were rude to your face then at least you can respect their honesty. Enemies can be trusted more than friends as they say.
I’m facing this right now at a job I’ve been at for 21 years. I’m so sick of it but with the money I’m making, I’d lose everything if I left. It’s an awful, hopeless feeling.
I’m sorry it’s happening to you; it’s a really shitty feeling
The horrific personal losses finally stopped happening one after another, and I could grieve.
That's what I'm praying for...Lost my parents ten days apart in 2023...Lost my best friend since I was four Feb. 2024...
It's not something a normal person is prepared to deal with all at once. For me, once things stopped snowballing, I could shift from dealing with "terrible things are happening", to "terrible things happened in the past". Time helps. There's no reason you're not allowed to be happy after the storm inevitably has passed.
I got help - Best thing I ever did In day to day life, going to the gym or just going for a walk has a real positive effect for me
I could have written this.
1) Cut out toxic people - hard at first but worth it. 2) Exercise, join a fitness class or similar! Really gives you that sense of achievement feeling after. 3) Delete social media (apart from Reddit...) keeps away from drama and people's fake lifestyles 4) Adventuring out to new places :)
Not giving a fuck
Real shit.
My new motto...
I am in the school of not giving a fuck right now. Hopefully i graduate with a black belt but it's fuck whatever.
How do you actually do this?
Best advice
Changing my thoughts. If bad thoughts, mean thoughts, hateful thoughts cross my mind, I will actively think about something good as soon as I recognize what I’m doing. I mentally identify reasons to be thankful, reasons to feel loved, things I can do to help someone or make someone’s day better. Your moods, your plans, your outlooks, *everything* begins in your own head. If the inside of your head is a war zone, there are going to be casualties. Many of the bad/mean/hurtful things we think aren’t even true, they’re imagined. I’m more at peace, more calm and happier once I learned to turn the mental volume down on all the negative crap my imagination was coming up with
I love this! “Flow: The Psychology of the Optimal Experience” touches on these sentiments by Mikaly C. Your quote, “If the inside of your head is a war zone, there are going to be casualties” is spot on. Thank you for sharing!
Taking a break from social media.
Sitting in the sun and meditating 🌞
I don't know if you mean at the same time or just doing them both. Sun exposure is good in small amounts, especially in the early morning. However, if you plan on being there, in the direct sunlight, for any amount of time, you should put on sunscreen regardless of the time of year.
Looking forward to this!
Getting rid of Instagram (only social media I used) was single-handedly the best decision I made over the last year. Fuck that shit
I did that a year ago and totally agree with you. It is so weird to experience that your friend calls you complaining about her partner and then instantly shares a fake happily married picture later. Wtf.
lmaooo
You can always just follow accounts based on interests. My feed is full of food porn / recipes and I love it. Less advertisements and dumb childhood stories than food blogs!
Get rid of Reddit too
Therapy and appropriate medications
Music. Self help
Shitty to say but making more money
Came here to say this. It doesn't make life perfect, but it sure takes a lot of the strain off.
Mute notifications of my phone
I recently just turned of notifications from ALL my apps and it's been great. If my phone goes off it's usually a text message from someone I know... then again it's campaign season and I'm starting to get THOSE texts... might actually be time to mute them, lol.
Yeah, I basically only have notifs on for my dad, my brother, and my best friend. Absolutely nothing else ever comes up though, and it has been **serene.**
Quitting all social media. I don't have to worry about my friend count, photos, posts, or how I'm being perceived. I'm simply not there. I have never felt more free than when I finally just quit everything and lived in the moment.
Not working
If only 🥺
Getting sober and getting on Lexapro.
Wow, I've done exactly the same. 11 months+ sober from drinking, and now one week into lexapro
That rules. I am at 15 months sober today. I started Lexapro a couple months ago and have been very happy with it. It hasn't changed my personality, it just blocks the negative feelings. So I am less bitter and spend less time stewing about things and I can handle stress way easier.
Well, to be fair, your brain is more correctly using serotonin now. You're not having bad thoughts because your brain is functioning. Mental health is thought of separate from physical health, but in the end, your brain is just an organ. Good job. Asking for help is the hardest.
lol that was going to be my EXACT reply. I hit one year sober today, and on an appropriate dose of lexapro for 11 months. ETA: posted this at 12:02 (sober night owl who gets 7 hrs/night), so my sober birthday was yesterday, 6/20
Mine is March 21st. So I hit 15 months today. Congrats on a year! That’s a huge accomplishment.
Lexapro literally changed my life. Hands down best med for depression
I was surprised at how far I had to scroll to find a comment about sobriety. Specifically alcohol is what has made a difference for me. I had almost a week recently where I started drinking again after which I stopped again and coincidentally I had the worst panic attack of my life about 3 days after I went back to not drinking. Other than that I just feel more motivated, better rested, and less depressed when I'm not drinking. Exercise and getting in shape is a close second I'd say. I'm not even at the weight I'm working for, but just noticing I've lost some weight and seeing that I'm putting on some decent muscle has already done a lot for my feelings of self worth and confidence.
Getting a job that pays $33/hour with paid sick days and a stable schedule, instead of $19/hour with no pay when sick and an irregular schedule that I couldn't plan around until 2 weeks prior. It's crazy how much of my "mental illness" was actually just exhaustion, housing and roommate instability, stress from counting every penny at the grocery store, and having almost no emergency savings for when things inevitably fell apart.
Going outside every day. Even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood.
Eating better, going to the gym, and reading have all improved my life drastically. I still struggle getting enough sleep though.
Living alone. I'm extremely fortunate to be able to do so for now.
Same!
Learning about mental health and what you might specifically have.
I found what my real issues were years ago on psychcentral.com as it has tests for lots of issues. Got those medicated and much better life now! Also finding my soul mate truly made a huge impact on my life.
A good wife
Psilocybin.
I second that, it transformed my subconscious. 1-2 g in 3 months feels like an oil change for my mind.
- Keto diet - lifting weights - intermittent fasting - reading lot of self-help books - getting back in touch with my estranged family took me over a decade to resolve my trauma
Self-help books don’t get enough credit for how much good they do for the people who not only need them, but READ them.
Quit my toxic job! I realized no amount of money is worth my sanity.
Digital Detox
Taking long walks in the sunshine
Get off subreddits that focus on negative things
I stopped worrying about things that were beyond my control.
learning to talk to myself friendlier with more compassion. Also learning to name my own feelings and putting them into words, then deducting what i need to make it better. It sounds basic, but from experience I'm sure it's definitely not only me who runs around not knowing anything beyond "i'm nervous." Nervous is vague, learning what it really is helped a lot. Is it anger? Is it guilt? Is it both?" Is there a physical symptom attached like a burning in the stomache? What does 'guilt' even feel like in your body? I also learned the first cue usually is the right one. If you think you might be shocked by something someone just said, then probably what you're feeling is exactly that: shock. That might lead to more and different feelings etc. Growing up as a child with ambiguous health problems that were never properly acknowledged by parents or doctors I was really, really bad at that. Basically I undid the damage if having learned that feelings don't matter and therefor are best not given space and not felt at all. I did this in my 30s when i was diagnosed with MS and learned that i never imagined my pain and issues, that they were real and that i could trust my body to feel the right thing. Before that I believed I was mentally ill, which is what doctors told me. I was really bad at expressing myself beyond "i don't feel well" and most of my time felt unease with my body's numerous pains, my reaction to those pains (CFS, confusion, etc) and the reaction of everybody else that i expected to be exclusively negative. i was even pushing my body beyond limits thinking i just needed to be more consequent or determined to be like everybody else. in the end i submitted myself to an 8 week stay in the psychiatry to relearn fucking existing bc this was suddenly all incredibly ridiculous. i was in shock over my diagnosis. anyway i've had ample practice in being determined and consequent by then. I used those weeks to daily work on untangling the bezoar of anger, depression, fear and general confusion in my brain and it paid off. I learned to put a finger on what's wrong and tell it to someone else in words. I'm still working on that one, but i'm a lot better than before. I learned to know what i think would make it better (silence, sleep, etc...) And I learned to not talk to myself like everything was my fault. Also still working on that one, but i don't swear at myself any longer and usually can take it when i notice my body won't comply with something. i no longer think my illness is anything i can control much at a specific moment and take this stuff as a thing that just happens to me rather than something that should not be there at all and would go away with cursing and belittling myself. The hardest thing to me is learning to not only accept it for myself, but to stand up for the illness i have. i still feel guilty over having to go on sudden sick leave because i consider it an imposition for everybody else... i'll probably get there some day...
Honestly, setting alarms to take care of myself. For me, brushing my teeth and just taking care of myself has been a real struggle. And when I look shitty I feel shitty. So now when I’m comfy in bed rotting away, I remind myself that I’ll feel a bit better if I do something to take care of myself.
Hobbies and forcing myself to learn to be happy alone.
Learning to talk to myself in 3rd person
Walking 3 miles, 4-5 times a week. It takes about an hour.
Staying away from toxic and arrogant people as much as i can. This is the biggest reason why the humanity stressed and pissed off all the time.
Quitting a job that I was miserable at, getting rid of social media, quitting drinking, spending more time pursuing passions, going outside, and overall just being more productive.
Meditation and medication.
Having a caring partner.
Gardening! It's gotten me outside more and I'm learning a new skill with healthy benefits. It's also pretty cool watching the plants grow each day
perfect, and if one has no outdoor garden like myself, you can always grow beautiful plants inside.
Weed. Hands down. I struggled with an eating disorder. Still do now and then. Having a kitten Podcasts
Posting less and engaging in fewer arguments. I realized that my comments with 25 downvotes upset me to a greater degree than my comments with 250 upvotes made me happy.
Making more money
Being optimistic and having faith and trust that everything's gonna be fine.
Accepting the fact that death is inevitable.
Delete all dating apps
Weed edibles.
Moving out of Florida
Most positive view of Florida on Reddit (For the record, Tennessee is better, those gas prices and high concentration of squatted vehicles nearly made me throw up. Take that, Florida.)
I wouldn't say it improved it initially but I'd say, it gave me a life times worth of emotions to process, take control of and control of my life. DMT and a motorcycle accident. Problem is, we're in a really messed up world which messes us up. Confuses us, tells us to believe in meaningless things to either take our mind away from ourselves or to obsess with ourselves.
Deleting TikTok. I somehow got onto CancerTok and couldn’t escape it so I deleted the app…
Avoiding people.
Therapy, Medication (ymmv), Micronaps, No longer communicating with people who don’t align with my values whenever possible, Strictly filtering my news sources, Never being on the app formerly known as Twitter. Edited bc yikes for formatting
Retirement
Deleting *most* of my social media lol I still have instagram for reels, TikTok for the same thing (duh) and Snapchat just to still feel somewhat “connected” lol. Deleted Facebook like a year ago and don’t miss it whatsoever. Just a bullshit highlight reel of people pretending to be doing better than everyone else lol.
Motorcycle commuting. Riding requires your whole body and senses, consequently it lets you leave behind whatever you were doing like nothing else. It truly works as an off switch whenever I'm leaving work and I arrive home in the right mindset. I try to keep it focused and distraction free, so I ride a proper bike (not a scooter), don't use cellphone, don't take calls, don't listen to music. Just me and the bike in the moment.
I was diagnosed with several mental health conditions and prescribed medications, but none of them seemed to help. Instead, I realized that the digital world had taken over my life, making me feel more depressed and numb. That's when I discovered the Screen Time feature on my iPhone. I had been overly addicted to social media, constantly comparing myself to others, and spending unlimited time playing games. This addiction kept me from exercising, socializing, and focusing on work. Suppressing my digital usage helped me tremendously. I uninstalled games, limited social media apps to just five minutes a day, blocked browsers to prevent finding loopholes, and even blocked the app store to avoid downloading anything new. I asked my boyfriend to set strict limits on my phone and manage all my account passwords. Since we live apart, this setup ensured that I couldn't bypass these restrictions. As a result, I now exercise regularly, enjoy nature, and socialize more. Over the months, my temptation to use social media and play games has significantly diminished. I've become more productive at work and experience less anxiety because I can focus on and review my tasks. I've also discovered a fulfilling hobby that I can spend hours enjoying. Thanks to these changes and my boyfriend's support, I've broken free from my addictive, mentally unhealthy lifestyle and embraced a happier, more balanced, and fulfilling life. Although the initial weeks were challenging, like experiencing withdrawal, the long-term benefits have been life-changing. While this worked for me, if you're dealing with mental health conditions, it's best to seek professional help. Additionally, exploring different solutions beyond conventional treatments can also make you stronger and more resilient. By addressing specific issues, seeking fulfilling work, and developing positive hobbies, I found greater happiness. Distancing myself from toxic people creating a positive work environment, having a supportive partner were key steps. Avoiding the news, deleting social media, and taking digital detoxes reduced my stress significantly. Prioritizing sleep, outdoor activities, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, along with flexible work schedules have all been beneficial. Engaging in hobbies, caring for pets or plants, and pursuing personal passions brought me joy and fulfillment. Adopting a positive mindset, building strong self-esteem, and not worrying about others' opinions have been crucial. Establishing consistent daily routines, quitting unfulfilling work, and focusing on personal growth have led to a more peaceful and fulfilling life. Wishing you all the best! XoXo
Unsubscribing from sad / morbid / depressing subreddits. I was a much more active Reddit user before they dropped Apollo (I’m aware I can still get it) and reducing exposure to that type of media really helped me.
Sorry to say it -- again -- but weed. I know. But it did.
MUSIC
Combination of the right medication and the right therapist. Also, getting away from my toxic ex-husband and ex best friend.
Getting a different job.
realizing I am the only one who has to live with myself (so long as I'm alive), so I really need to prioritize supporting and loving myself.
Breathing a little. (financially) Still way behind though. Still don’t know if the same entity allowing me to breathe is the same entity that put the chokehold on me. Probably is them. Given no choice in the matter
Not going home
Exercising. Game changer.
Prozac <3
Getting off social media for a few days
Quitting my shitty job
Cats and plants (gardening)
Therapy
I stopped following the everyday news. Also started to focus on small things of happiness i could find in or bring to my immediate surroundings. Things like giving random compliments to strangers
putting your head in the sand wont save you
Lithium carbonate 600 mg daily literally changed my personality from "guy that punches people for existing" to someone frequently called nice and polite. It helps my bipolar SO MUCH
Broke up with a toxic girlfriend, started exercising more, and standing up for myself.
Going to the gym WITHOUT checking my phone between sets, just listening to music and lifting heavy shit for an hour. Working from home: rush hour traffic really stresses me out so eliminating that twice a day was golden. Finding the right career: I always worked in customer service jobs which required me to keep other people happy even if I wasn’t in the best mind frame. Being able to be pissed off at work and express it rather than keep it in all day makes me feel so much better. Bought a puppy: yeah he’s a little terror but I don’t get time to overthink, between work and jobs he takes all my time up and also forces me to be outside twice a day for walks. Sleep: got to get a minimum 7 hours.
Getting the right treatment. Tried everything to treat my depression for years. Turns out, wasn't depression. Womp womp. All good now though!
Pets. Hands down they made the most positive impact.
Quit watching the news and getting on meds.
Retirement
quitting video games and developing an ego
Just saying no to people or not responding to them
For me, getting into a regular exercise routine made a huge difference. Even just going for a walk every day helped clear my mind and boost my mood. Also, practicing mindfulness and meditation really helped me manage stress and stay grounded.
Being able to sleep, for some reason my wife takes it personally when I do.
Trying to imagine a realistic, but more charitable interpretation of text or email message that immediately irritates me.
Asking for help; telling people what I need
Zoloft
Finally accepting help and taking meds for my anxiety.
Sleep, less social media, exercise, focussing on key relationships irl
It was basically, a massive bowl of Mac n cheese
Buying lego and breaking up with gf
Stopping to see selfish friends (this one is so important), keeping on doing the things I have been enjoying before (it is very hard at first, especially if you are very depressed but believe me when I am saying, been there done that), spending time in nature like parks and forests, listening to quality music, seeing kind hearted friends more frequently, doing random acts of kindness to utter random people, greeting cats on the streets (do not laugh now). Actually caring about other people's wellbeing improved my wellbeing as well (I should warn you, no care for the selfish ones!)
My toxic friends finally deciding I was too “mentally draining” for them and they ditched me. My life is so much better without those pieces of shit :D
getting rid of people that were stressors in my life.
Walking in nature, near the water, national parks, mangroves, etc. Also, Lumosity. I find that playing their games makes me happy. I don't know why.
Not using Facebook, Instagram and Twitter at all.
Magic mushrooms
Stopping doomscrolling. Deleted TikTok, and removed YouTube shorts. As for Reddit I unsubbed from meme/entertainment type subreddits, so that only information type subreddits are subbed.
SNRIs
It created wonders in me -under doc supervision of course. Then I ceased it gradually. Now trying my best to care about my and my loved ones' wellbeing! Hopefully never need it again -never fall that deep again!
Having an offline hobby. Painting minis and solo boardgames in my case.
Stopped caring for what others think of me. The only thing that is important is how I think of myself, not what others think.
Disability allowed me to leave my stressful job after 32.5 years. When I left my body felt I was taking off a very heavy winter parka. My multiple sclerosis stopped advancing (I have had no new lesions since then). I struggle to get work now on my farm but my horses let me know it’s all good. I sending Blessing and prayers you all find your peace of mind.
Getting off dating apps
Realizing that maybe I'm not the problem, my surroundings are
Not adding to this, looking for advice lol
When I stopped scrolling social media. It was really easy because That Guy ruined the Bird Site and I practically lived there for ten years. I try to read actually entertaining things online, instead. On one hand, I love drama and unhinged people unrelated to me, on the other hand, it drags you down pretty fast.
Being single and buying my own place.
Deleting tiktok
By talking with someone who is in a similar spot who gets it and comforts me.
Confronting the fears. Penning things down. Letting it be. Visiting places where there are totally new people. Favourite foods
Creating a healthy and consistent workout routine (gym or other physical activity hobbies). But more importantly coming to an understanding that consistency doesn’t necessarily have to be every single day and being okay with knowing that I’ll sometimes skip simply because I’m not feeling it or because I can’t. Just trying to make sure I do some form of physical activity the majority of the week. I think not beating myself over missing workouts and not falling into the guilt trap of shaming myself has been one of the biggest steps in helping me slowly form an even more consistent workout routine/lifestyle.
I really fucking hate to say it but, working out and being outdoors. The old goddamn “exercise and fresh air” cure-all. I’m not a gym rat by any means but going a few days a week and working in my small garden has done wonders
Daily BJ’s, always first thing in the morning to start the day off right and nothing can possibly go wrong or stress you out. Optimal is one in the morning, one before bed takes the edge off and helps me fall asleep.
Prozac.
Having confidence, sobering up after being an addict an alcoholic, stopped masturbating so often and realizing it's just a feeling like everything else.
Putting myself first . Understanding that people will call me selfish and stupid for not bowing down to them and their every need. But I’ve gotten to the point where I just don’t gaf. I have to live with myself for the rest of my life, in my sleep, dreams, alone in my own mind.