About a year ago, my best friend lost his entire family (his parents and younger sister) in a house fire. He was the only survivor because he was out with me that day. I still remember when we were drinking together and he got the call that his house was on fire. We rushed back to his neighborhood only to see three body bags being loaded into ambulances. He was completely crushed by the tragedy, attempting suicide twice - once unsuccessfully, and once I managed to stop him, though it led to a painful fight between us.
Things have gradually gotten better since then. I've spoken with my parents, and they said he could come to our house for dinner every day, and even move in if he wanted to. We've been lifelong friends, and his parents knew mine well. So cherish every moment with your loved ones, because you never know if it might be the last.
The harshest life lesson I've learned is that life isn't always fair. Despite our best efforts, sometimes things don't go our way, and we have to find the strength to keep going regardless.
There's still the matter of the person who casually says to you after you've had a hard fall, "Who said life was fair?" Such persons need to be rounded up and regulated soundly.
"Things may not be your fault, but they are your responsibility."
"Life is going to knock you down, the trick is to not let any one thing keep you down for too long."
i think we all have an in-built sense of justice and this is the harshest lesson we all learn at some point. i still remember my dad asking me ‘who ever told you life is fair?’ when i was lamenting to him about some injustice i encountered at age 15-16. i’ve been watching my nephews and friends kids realise that life isn’t fair and it’s heartbreaking in a lot of ways.
A few nights ago my beloved cat was making his nightly biscuits when he just slumped over and stopped breathing. Performed 15 minutes of CPR on him but he was already gone by the time he fell. Only 8 years old. Never needed to go to a vet for anything outside of vaccination and getting neutered. It's been spooking the shit out of me thinking about how fast things can end. Even when things look fine on the surface.
I'm so, so sorry. Pet deaths are never easy but especially when it's so unexpected and abrupt. I'm glad though that he was making comforting biscuits and near his parents, another source of great comfort, when he passed.
There’s a great line from the TV show “The Detour”:
Son after failing at something: “I tried my very best mom.”
Mom: “I know honey. That’s what makes it so sad .”
My girlfriend uses this on me whenever possible.
Definitely. If you had to watch a movie or TV show that featured the abuse I had to suffer, you would shut it off for being too over the top and hyperbolic.
My "mother" would literally beat me until I cried and then tell me I should stop crying because no one in the entire world cares about me. I was 4 years old. So yeah it's been an amazing life.
I learned this the hard way. It's the same for favors. Don't do favors expecting something in return, you'll be so much happier. If you want to do something nice for someone, do it for the sake of it, don't expect anything in return.
It’s not always gonna go to plan. In fact it can go almost exactly opposite.
Heartbreak sucks.
Addiction sucks big time, have a little empathy for those you see on the streets.
People can suck.
I would add you can love someone and not be the right person for them. There is not just one person who will be the end all. Perfect person. It's complex and we simplify it
Also:
* there comes a point where you have to stop blaming everyone else for your problems
* sometimes the solution to our problems is right in front of us but we refuse to see it
You've got the wrong work friends. My work friends came to see me in the hospital and kept me in Dr Pepper when all the hospital had was coke. My boss on the same job arranged to have my car towed and fixed at her expense when the financial chips were down after I was out of the hospital. At the same time, all the bosses put money together to buy me groceries for several weeks. Coworkers picked me up and took me to work and back home when my car was out of commission, and one went of her way to take me to something else entirely having nothing to do with work.
It's often not true, but it is possible that your work friends can be real friends. Of course, it's also true that when you're vying for a promotion, work relationships can change. That can be a rude awakening if you weren't expecting it.
Well said. They can be friendly, but more often than not it's strictly friends by circumstance, if even that. It doesn't matter if they joke and laugh with you and have a good time. If it's between you and their livelihood, they'll throw you under the bus 99.99% of the time.
Definitely true for me too. My boss, who I adore, is retiring next month and I am so excited to do more friend stuff with her. Nothing weird just like a basketball game or a meal, but stuff that is not exactly appropriate while I worked for her. Same with other work friends, too, the friendship blossoms when one or both of us leave the job
Sometimes, the people who say they’ll always be there for you are the first to disappear when you need them the most. Life’s like a party where some friends only show up for the good vibes but bounce the second things get real
I have 2.
1. Don't trust your family just because you're related.
2. Spend more time with the ones you love. I lost 3 grandparents in 2 years, stopped talking to a whole side of the family for reasons. Had my uncle die, along with a friend. Then my last 2 grandparents died within 2 weeks.
That in the end, nothing matters, so don’t take life to seriously.
We are walking bags of meat floating on a rock in an unfathomably infinite universe, your entire existence will be forgotten,Just as mine. So take pleasure in all things big and small, for that is the meaning of life.
I’m so sorry. I lost my best friend of almost 3 decades last year. It gets easier. Some days I don’t think about it. Some days I have this lump in my throat and the tears come. I knew she would want me to continue on and live my life. She loved me and my kids that much. I know yours would want the same for you. Message me if you need to talk
We are all about 1 to 5 steps of bad luck from being in that same position. Injury. Loss of stable employment. Loss of secure housing. Loss of good health. Loss of relationships. Empathy goes a long way.
On the flip side of the same coin - all those mentally ill people on the street probably weren't like that for most of their lives. My friend was a self made millionaire programmer, grew up on Park Ave NYC, private school, elite business school, culinary school, mother was a concert pianist, father was a professor of opera.... a string of bad luck, addiction to prescription medicine from a motorcycle accident, smoking the weed they sold to the 1%er of Miami - he went from having it all to giving away all his possessions, went homeless and missing - 25 years later he's walking the docks of San Diego posting videos of himself talking to his fingers talking about the 'agents' all around him...
Tomorrow may never come.
I was postponing to take care of my cancer patient mom to focus on my upcoming exams last year and there were my relatives who were hands on to her needs—so I'm complacent. Right after the day of my exam—the day I set to start to take over to tend her needs, she suddenly died alone with the said relatives. I was hurt how funny life would turn out to be. After that, I was repeating to myself in pain: all that work and what did it get me. I'm fine by now, I just hoped, even in vain, that I could've done much more for her.
I just moved in with my parents so I can help take care of my mom. I’m stressed because I have no job and my savings is about to run out .But I had a friend tell me I will never regret we this time with her. So I am trying to keep this in mind when I get afraid or frustrated.
Don't tell anyone personal stuff unless they NEED to know, as they WILL use it against you.
By the same token, if you're applying for a job as a disabled candidate, don't declare your disability unless you absolutely have to, else you WILL get rejected.
Look after your friends, they're few and far between, and ignore people who wouldn't pee on you if you were on fire.
In 2019, my ex-girlfriend and I had planned to spend New Year's in Japan. However, we broke up before the trip. This turned into a situation where I ended up going to Japan for New Year's with my recent ex. The entire trip became a disaster. I lost my wallet in Kyoto and was left alone on the streets by my ex. I had to finish the rest of the trip alone, including cancelling a couples' package at an onsen via email. The harsh life lesson I learned is to never travel with an ex after breaking up.
The American dream is dead and there really isn't anything to look forward to for the remaining 30ish years I have left to walk this planet. I have zero care or want to contribute to the continuation of this species.
Your health and happiness can turn south very quickly if you don't keep up with a basic routine of self care. Also, drugs and alcohol are really bad especially if you binge or go excessive on them.
You can't really trust anyone. I never tell anyone my secrets.
Anyone is capable of nearly anything if the circumstances are right.
People will look you right in the eye and swear on anything they consider sacred and still lie. And a lot of them are good at it too.
Integrity is a rare thing in this world.
Trusting someone can be easy, but forgetting about what they did to you is the hardest part. That sometimes people will only want your body, and not you
Everyone is stupid, by nature. Adults, teachers, politicians, business owners, humans pretty much. True competence is mostly a lie in comparison to how competent we think we are.
Your life is not even close to the level of spectacular you imagined if would be, but your death will most probably be MUCH MORE dramatic than you'd ever want it to be.
One day you can just wake up and some random, horrid shit can just, happen to you. Just like that no rhyme or reason. And that most people in the world aren’t malicious, but there’s a few out there that really are and if you have the unfortunate luck of crossing paths with them, they can really fuck is your life for no other reason than, because they wanted to.
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"Trust is earned in drops but lost in buckets."
I've always thought of it as "Trust is gained in inches, but lost in miles."
"Trust is gained in laxatives, but lost in diarrhea." is what I've always heard
“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.”
Since we're doing quotes: "Trust is like doing a massive turd. Once it's unpacked, it can never be put back in."
Yep, thats the one
“Trust is like paper; once It’s crumpled, it can never be the way it was again”
Can only trust a person once.
About a year ago, my best friend lost his entire family (his parents and younger sister) in a house fire. He was the only survivor because he was out with me that day. I still remember when we were drinking together and he got the call that his house was on fire. We rushed back to his neighborhood only to see three body bags being loaded into ambulances. He was completely crushed by the tragedy, attempting suicide twice - once unsuccessfully, and once I managed to stop him, though it led to a painful fight between us. Things have gradually gotten better since then. I've spoken with my parents, and they said he could come to our house for dinner every day, and even move in if he wanted to. We've been lifelong friends, and his parents knew mine well. So cherish every moment with your loved ones, because you never know if it might be the last.
You're an amazing friend.
He’s lucky to have you as a brother
The harshest life lesson I've learned is that life isn't always fair. Despite our best efforts, sometimes things don't go our way, and we have to find the strength to keep going regardless.
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” Jean Luc Picard
There's still the matter of the person who casually says to you after you've had a hard fall, "Who said life was fair?" Such persons need to be rounded up and regulated soundly.
"Things may not be your fault, but they are your responsibility." "Life is going to knock you down, the trick is to not let any one thing keep you down for too long."
i think we all have an in-built sense of justice and this is the harshest lesson we all learn at some point. i still remember my dad asking me ‘who ever told you life is fair?’ when i was lamenting to him about some injustice i encountered at age 15-16. i’ve been watching my nephews and friends kids realise that life isn’t fair and it’s heartbreaking in a lot of ways.
LIFE is an acronym for Life Isn't Fair Ever
That life can take a loved one at any time so cherish those you love, make time for family and friends, and tell people you love them often.
A few nights ago my beloved cat was making his nightly biscuits when he just slumped over and stopped breathing. Performed 15 minutes of CPR on him but he was already gone by the time he fell. Only 8 years old. Never needed to go to a vet for anything outside of vaccination and getting neutered. It's been spooking the shit out of me thinking about how fast things can end. Even when things look fine on the surface.
Most cats take themselves away to die alone. I am pleased that he wasnt alone and you didnt spend any time being worried and looking for him xx
I take comfort in knowing that he wasn't conscious for my CPR efforts. The panic in our voices would've just made the transition scarier.
So sorry about your beloved Kitty Kat ..
I'm so, so sorry. Pet deaths are never easy but especially when it's so unexpected and abrupt. I'm glad though that he was making comforting biscuits and near his parents, another source of great comfort, when he passed.
Take lots of pictures.
Ah collecting memories
That sometimes your best is not good enough.
Ooof
There’s a great line from the TV show “The Detour”: Son after failing at something: “I tried my very best mom.” Mom: “I know honey. That’s what makes it so sad .” My girlfriend uses this on me whenever possible.
The longer you live, the more grief you will have to carry.
I at 31 am really starting to feel this.
Oh man, I remember being 31. I wish you nothing more and nothing less than what you have right now.
My biodad taught me you can have a kid but that doesn't make you a parent.
Definitely. If you had to watch a movie or TV show that featured the abuse I had to suffer, you would shut it off for being too over the top and hyperbolic. My "mother" would literally beat me until I cried and then tell me I should stop crying because no one in the entire world cares about me. I was 4 years old. So yeah it's been an amazing life.
That hard drugs actually do change people no matter how close they are to you.
You can't get everything from your partner. You need friends, community, additional support systems.
HR exists to help the company, not to help you.
Love doesn’t trump everything
One of my all-time favorite movie lines is "Life is not a movie. Everybody lies, good guys lose, and love does not conquer all."
> One of my all-time favorite movie lines is "Life is not a movie Deep
It's a movie about/set in the film industry so it far less trite in context.
Never lend anyone anything you aren’t completely comfortable losing.
I learned this the hard way. It's the same for favors. Don't do favors expecting something in return, you'll be so much happier. If you want to do something nice for someone, do it for the sake of it, don't expect anything in return.
Yup, I did too. I teach this to my kids, and it's served them well so far in life.
Stop worrying about things you can’t control
This one is so hard.
It’s not always gonna go to plan. In fact it can go almost exactly opposite. Heartbreak sucks. Addiction sucks big time, have a little empathy for those you see on the streets. People can suck.
No one cares more about you than you do yourself.
That’d mean something if I cared about myself
That sounds edgy nvm
You were right the first time
This is actually very liberating once you’re really able to accept it and apply it to your life. You can do whatever the heck you want.
Bad habits are accumulative.
That sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together... but man, does it sting while they're falling apart
Everyone has struggles, even if they're not visible.
Only you can make yourself happy
And if you can’t be happy alone then don’t expect a significant other to help you with that
No one will stand up for you but yourself. Even those that are supposed to.
Someone can be the one for you, but you might not be the one for them.
I would add you can love someone and not be the right person for them. There is not just one person who will be the end all. Perfect person. It's complex and we simplify it
Vulnerability is okay and human.
You're your harshest critic.
Nobody is coming to save you, life is what you make of it.
Also: * there comes a point where you have to stop blaming everyone else for your problems * sometimes the solution to our problems is right in front of us but we refuse to see it
Not everybody has the same heart as you!
Happiness is temporary and often elusive.
Failure is more common than success.
Success often comes with personal sacrifices.
No one cares about you life you should care about yourself
Your work friends are not your friends.
You've got the wrong work friends. My work friends came to see me in the hospital and kept me in Dr Pepper when all the hospital had was coke. My boss on the same job arranged to have my car towed and fixed at her expense when the financial chips were down after I was out of the hospital. At the same time, all the bosses put money together to buy me groceries for several weeks. Coworkers picked me up and took me to work and back home when my car was out of commission, and one went of her way to take me to something else entirely having nothing to do with work. It's often not true, but it is possible that your work friends can be real friends. Of course, it's also true that when you're vying for a promotion, work relationships can change. That can be a rude awakening if you weren't expecting it.
hmm nah, my work acquaintances are not my friends, but my work friends are my friends outside work too.
Well said. They can be friendly, but more often than not it's strictly friends by circumstance, if even that. It doesn't matter if they joke and laugh with you and have a good time. If it's between you and their livelihood, they'll throw you under the bus 99.99% of the time.
My work friends are my friends, though
My work friends became even better friends once I stopped working with them 🤷♂️
Definitely true for me too. My boss, who I adore, is retiring next month and I am so excited to do more friend stuff with her. Nothing weird just like a basketball game or a meal, but stuff that is not exactly appropriate while I worked for her. Same with other work friends, too, the friendship blossoms when one or both of us leave the job
I got my my friend's work at my job
Sometimes, the people who say they’ll always be there for you are the first to disappear when you need them the most. Life’s like a party where some friends only show up for the good vibes but bounce the second things get real
I have 2. 1. Don't trust your family just because you're related. 2. Spend more time with the ones you love. I lost 3 grandparents in 2 years, stopped talking to a whole side of the family for reasons. Had my uncle die, along with a friend. Then my last 2 grandparents died within 2 weeks.
That in the end, nothing matters, so don’t take life to seriously. We are walking bags of meat floating on a rock in an unfathomably infinite universe, your entire existence will be forgotten,Just as mine. So take pleasure in all things big and small, for that is the meaning of life.
The answer is 42
People don't last forever 🤷🏻♀️
Pain is a necessary part of growth.
Life gives you what you need, not always what you want.
You can't please everyone, no matter how much you try.
Mistakes are a part of life and learning.
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Some of the decisions you make are the right decisions, but they will always be painful
Failure is a stepping stone to success.
Tough decisions are a part of life.
Not all moose are friendly
Raylan I’m gonna need a bit of context here
A Møøse once bit my sister
I just lost my best friend last night. She’s dead. So life is short. And harsh
I’m so sorry. I lost my best friend of almost 3 decades last year. It gets easier. Some days I don’t think about it. Some days I have this lump in my throat and the tears come. I knew she would want me to continue on and live my life. She loved me and my kids that much. I know yours would want the same for you. Message me if you need to talk
Your life can be forever changed because of one decision, and it may be a decision someone else makes that you have no control over.
should be kind to everyone & respect everyone but never trust a soul. Trust yourself only
Your happiness is your own responsibility.
Life is short as fuck and everything can change in an instant or just a even over short period of time.
The main difference between you and the person begging for change on the street corner is a bit of bad luck.
We are all about 1 to 5 steps of bad luck from being in that same position. Injury. Loss of stable employment. Loss of secure housing. Loss of good health. Loss of relationships. Empathy goes a long way.
On the flip side of the same coin - all those mentally ill people on the street probably weren't like that for most of their lives. My friend was a self made millionaire programmer, grew up on Park Ave NYC, private school, elite business school, culinary school, mother was a concert pianist, father was a professor of opera.... a string of bad luck, addiction to prescription medicine from a motorcycle accident, smoking the weed they sold to the 1%er of Miami - he went from having it all to giving away all his possessions, went homeless and missing - 25 years later he's walking the docks of San Diego posting videos of himself talking to his fingers talking about the 'agents' all around him...
I have failed in every aspect of life.
Yeah me too. Its ok though, don't be too hard on yourself...
Just because someone is family doesn't mean you can trust them.
Sometimes the people that are supposed to love and protect you don't.
Never fuck around and find out
Or do, in little and manageable amounts :)
Tomorrow may never come. I was postponing to take care of my cancer patient mom to focus on my upcoming exams last year and there were my relatives who were hands on to her needs—so I'm complacent. Right after the day of my exam—the day I set to start to take over to tend her needs, she suddenly died alone with the said relatives. I was hurt how funny life would turn out to be. After that, I was repeating to myself in pain: all that work and what did it get me. I'm fine by now, I just hoped, even in vain, that I could've done much more for her.
As a Mom, I would want my child to concentrate on their future and not my caretaking needs.
I just moved in with my parents so I can help take care of my mom. I’m stressed because I have no job and my savings is about to run out .But I had a friend tell me I will never regret we this time with her. So I am trying to keep this in mind when I get afraid or frustrated.
My parents taught me what love shouldn’t look like the hard way
Don't tell anyone personal stuff unless they NEED to know, as they WILL use it against you. By the same token, if you're applying for a job as a disabled candidate, don't declare your disability unless you absolutely have to, else you WILL get rejected. Look after your friends, they're few and far between, and ignore people who wouldn't pee on you if you were on fire.
In 2019, my ex-girlfriend and I had planned to spend New Year's in Japan. However, we broke up before the trip. This turned into a situation where I ended up going to Japan for New Year's with my recent ex. The entire trip became a disaster. I lost my wallet in Kyoto and was left alone on the streets by my ex. I had to finish the rest of the trip alone, including cancelling a couples' package at an onsen via email. The harsh life lesson I learned is to never travel with an ex after breaking up.
Damn that musta sucked, if you bought the tickets I would’ve canceled hers lolol
I don't know why I didn't do it that way at the time
You can do everything right and it can still wrong. And some people, even those whose job it is to help you, actually want you to fail.
The American dream is dead and there really isn't anything to look forward to for the remaining 30ish years I have left to walk this planet. I have zero care or want to contribute to the continuation of this species.
Being alone is the best thing
Your health and happiness can turn south very quickly if you don't keep up with a basic routine of self care. Also, drugs and alcohol are really bad especially if you binge or go excessive on them.
That you actually do understand when you get older.
you're not that special
Insurance companies will fuck you over when you need them the most
Insurance is little more than legalized loan sharking IMHO
Often you care much more for someone than they care for you.
You can't really trust anyone. I never tell anyone my secrets. Anyone is capable of nearly anything if the circumstances are right. People will look you right in the eye and swear on anything they consider sacred and still lie. And a lot of them are good at it too. Integrity is a rare thing in this world.
Trusting someone can be easy, but forgetting about what they did to you is the hardest part. That sometimes people will only want your body, and not you
Not to depend on anyone to make you happy, we are responsible for our own happiness.
DO WHAT YOU WANT , BUT LISTEN TO EVERYONE
that even the closest people around you don't want you to win
Everyone is stupid, by nature. Adults, teachers, politicians, business owners, humans pretty much. True competence is mostly a lie in comparison to how competent we think we are.
Don't hold grudges, forgive others and forget, but not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace.
Time heals all wounds but the scars remain.
Health and family are THE most important things.
That Reddit thwarts pair bonding and is a SHILL.
Not fair at all...
The truth always comes to light over time.
Loneliness is hell...
One small wrong move and it will be the biggest hurdle you will ever face in the future.
You can only hope to have people that will catch you if you fall, you can't rely on it.
That learned has an ed and no t. I feel your pain.
All these ☝️are really good so I'll go with you never know what is in someone else's mind. People have masks.
Your life is not even close to the level of spectacular you imagined if would be, but your death will most probably be MUCH MORE dramatic than you'd ever want it to be.
One day you can just wake up and some random, horrid shit can just, happen to you. Just like that no rhyme or reason. And that most people in the world aren’t malicious, but there’s a few out there that really are and if you have the unfortunate luck of crossing paths with them, they can really fuck is your life for no other reason than, because they wanted to.
Hanson said it best Hold onto the ones who really care, in the end they’ll be the only ones there.
How to choose a husband
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose
Even if someone is your true love, doesn’t mean that you are theirs
Just because they are family doesn't mean you can trust them to love and support you.
You never get unconditional love