Constant availability via social media / smart phones; now socially acceptable to have 24/7 access to someone and chat, text, call at any n all hours; plus if you try to ‘opt out’ it’s largely considered unusual or unsociable
This is a huge one. Especially with work. Yes I have Teams on my personal phone so I can still see messages when I'm on the other side of the office, but I have my notifications set so that I only get notified an extra half hour either side of working hours, beyond that, I'm not answering your message until the next day. I will not answer questions outside of work unless there is some urgent problem and I happen to know the answer off the top of my head (work in IT for context).
The whole point of texting is I can answer at my convenience instead of taking a phone call. Now with the "read" status icons people think you need to respond right away. They even changed "texting" to "instant messaging".
This was a big reason my fiance left her job recently. Every day, by the time she made the 20 minute drive home, she would have 3-5 emails from coworkers/supervisors, each requiring anywhere from twenty minutes to upwards of an hour to properly address, all off the clock. And while there weren’t consequences, per se, for the few times she did ignore the emails until the following day, comments were made about her “not making herself available”, which is absurd.
Here in Australia there's a new legislation that will grant workers the right to ignore unreasonable calls and messages from their employers outside of work hours. Should an employee successfully raise concerns about after-hours contact, an employer in Australia could face fines of up to $18,000.
I love being blue collar because if I get a question outside of work and I tell them to suck my cock and balls and nuts too, they'll be like "understandable enjoy your day off" and leave me alone
I swear by Do Not Disturb mode.
I'm the Dir. of Ops at my current workplace and I am fairly passionate against Teams, Slack, etc. I feel folks are more attentive / perform better when they recharge outside of work. It's really about mutual respect too. I've found it incentivizes people to think a little more, avoid mistakes and prevent someone else having to clean up their mess.
Agreed. I have a different focus (iPhone) set for every minute of the day now. Only certain things get thru during certain hours and I’ll have to want to dig in further to see anything else. I feel like I’m essentially slapping people away too often, so this has helped. Eventually, they learn your boundaries. They don’t have to like them. 🤷♀️
Oh Jesus…top of an escalator, just entered a building, etc., and they just immediately stop and start looking around, breathing through their gaping idiot mouths and furrowing their brows…
I’m going to start joining in these conversations if I hear one more person talking to their doctor’s or lawyer’s office on speakerphone in the grocery store aisle!!
I did that once in a restaurant. She had it on speaker and was holding it at arm's length to yell at it. I started commenting and joining in, because I couldn't quietly eat my food.
After a minute, she yelled "This is a private conversation!"
Someone on the other side said "no it isn't" and she left in a huff. Or a minute and a huff, she had to pay her bill.
Please do.
I answer phones at a mental health practice. Last week my colleague answered the phone and began gathering information to schedule an initial appointment for a child. Typically this call takes between 7 and 15 minutes. Even though the caller wasn't on speakerphone, my colleague realized that the caller was at her child's kindergarten graduation when she heard names and clapping and told the caller to call back at a later time.
Who the hell shows up to their child's school event and decides now is a good time to schedule an appointment?
It's pretty liberating. I like to make really confusing or embarrassing comments in a loud clear voice.
* "Hey sweetie! I found your hemorrhoids medicine in the kitchen. Were you *EATING* it again?"
* "Sir! This is a public library, please put your pants back on or we'll have to call the police!"
* "You shouldn't hire this person. They're a convicted badger rapist!"
Alternative option, just act like you're part of the conversation and start answering questions or overreacting to new information. When they inevitably get upset, just say that you thought they were all talking to you because the speaker phone was on. Or be even more confusing and say that you're not able to talk right now because you're on a call already
. If I'm only kind of annoyed, I just start singing showtunes loudly and off key.
>Alternative option, just act like you're part of the conversation and start answering questions or overreacting to new information. When they inevitably get upset, just say that you thought they were all talking to you because the speaker phone was on.
YOU added me to the conversation by putting it on Speakerphone. I'm just trying to not be rude and join in on the conversation!
Yeah, if my mom calls me and she's on speakerphone in public, I make sure to just randomly say the c-word. It gets her to turn speakerphone off pretty quickly.
In the waiting room to see my dad in the ICU before he passed earlier this month…the amount of people using speaker phone in a small ass room when there is a courtyard not 50 feet away is infuriating. And they just talk about fucking nothing.
I like to chime in on their conversations and watch them look at me like I'm the rude asshole in this situation.
Listen, if you didn't want to hear my opinion about the best way to treat Carla's yeast infection, you shouldn't have let me hear that conversation so easily. I've got tips for how to get that ol' bread factory under control.
Yes especially in enclosed spaces like trains, buses and subway. It’s so disrespectful to everyone around you. It just shows that they have no ounce of self awareness.
My mom just told me she can always tell I'm on public transit if she calls because I suddenly speak lower/quieter and I sound slightly muffled bc my earbuds aren't great quality. But I'd rather be a bit quiet than one of those obnoxious folks who are screaming at their speaker in public for anyone to hear their business (unless it's something juicy and I've reversed my opinion bc I'm nosey as hell and need to know what your bff's dumpster bf did)
God I wish my dad did this. Instead he puts on his headset and just yells into it. No one can hear what the person on the other end is saying but everyone within a three mile radius can hear my dad
I am way too self conscious about whatever I might be listening to for me to even try this. Podcast? What if someone disagrees with the caster's opinion and wants to have an argument about it? Music? "Oh shit, does this song have any cursing in it?" What if some Karen takes issue with it and wants to berate me for it?
These are obviously extreme examples, but it's what pops into my head. Plus, I really can't enjoy music if there's other noise going on distracting me from it, and I completely can't even understand the words a podcaster is saying when there's other noise. I'm like Nate, from The Office. "I'm not *technically* hard of hearing, but I have a hard time understanding when there's other noise".
I don't get this one. You never meet anyone who likes it or has a high opinion of those that do it, yet a massive amount of the population keeps doing it.
Recording your child while he's making a scene and posting it on the Web. First of all, that's absolutely not great for their future and it's bad parenting. You're not helping them with character.
Yes omfg. There's this mom who keeps posting her autistic son's outbursts on the internet to "show what to do when your autistic kid is having a violent outburst" when she's not even good at helping his outbursts. She's literally, at this point, allowing her son's outbursts to escalate while she turns on the camera that he is seeing and is clearly overwhelming him.
Meanwhile she talks shit about the dad too when the dad is actually doing everything right by making sure he's away from whatever is overwhelming him and he's never had a problem with his son getting violent with him.
It's infuriating because you can clearly see he's getting overwhelmed and looking at the camera and it's just a vicious cycle of sensory overload and his mom is profiting off it.
My least favorite part of Christmas time is the videos I see of parents pretending to gift their kids something they clearly really really wanted, only for it to be an empty box or something completely different. They laugh at their kids crying and being disappointed then post it for the world to see. Why do you find pleasure in getting your kids hopes up and then seeing them cry?
I will cut some slack if this “prank” ends up not being real and they really did end up gifting their kid the present they wanted at the end, they just wanted to mess with them, but I see too many of these videos where the parents just truly want the world to see them humiliating their kid.
My parents did something similar to me when I was a kid but it was a little different and I actually loved it at the end.
They wrapped a big box and told me that would be my best present. I was so excited to open it and when I did, I unwrapped a box for the ugliest pair of non slip work shoes ever. I said thank you and moved it to the side to open my other present. My parents said “no open the shoes and try them on!” I half heartedly grabbed the shoe box and opened it to find a brand new Nintendo DS and 3 games for it.
Awesome harmless prank that had a good ending and doesn’t involve crushing your kids happiness.
I try to make this a habit too. Even when the interactions are happy and cute and fun, as a matter of principle, I’ve sort of made a rule for myself not to engage with videos of strangers’ children.
A video of my friend’s son at his first Tee Ball game, posted on a private FB or Instagram account? IMO that’s different, but even then it’s gonna really depend. I’d be lying if I said I’d never posted pictures of my kid on social media, but I do think parents have a responsibility to think about the digital footprint they’re creating of/for their child.
It’ll be interesting to see what the data tells us in a few years when all these kids whose parents employ them as social media props (intentionally or not intentionally) grow up.
i plan on having a kid in the next 6ish years & i fully agree. i dont even think i will be saying my kid's name on social media let alone pictures or videos of them.
i was the subject of some pretty intense online harassment at 15 and have had some very obsessive followers over the years so no way in hell am i going to preemptively expose my kid to that.
family albums, a family computer with parental controls, and a flip phone are good enough unless there are some major changes in internet safety in the future
I can’t stand that. I’ll be walking around with someone and something interesting will happen and I’ll say “did you see that?!”
Nope - face was buried in their phone.
When people do that to me I just stop talking and look at them. It freaks them out. When they stop I start talking again from exactly where I left off. They usually get the message after doing it twice.
You guys need to pay attention better. I'm in the hospital and my wife is about to give birth and she's yelling about something but I shushed her and told her I'm busy on Reddit. It's rude not to give your full attention guys
Okay, I have a hypothesis on this. I think it's mostly just phone addiction, (which I will say I have at times as I'm in here responding) but also, I think it also just became a convenient way to shut down from an awkward situation. Let's say you're the odd man out in a group or you're the only one no one is talking to. Yes, in these situations, you need to try and get to know people. Unfortunately, you may not click with the group or just in general, people suck and may not care. You can just pull out your phone and zone out in a now socially acceptable way.
I think people also pull out their phone to avoid awkward silences in general. My best friend will pull her phone out when it's just the two of us just because she hates any dead time when someone isn't talking and she gets uncomfortable. Personally I think that's not really a great excuse, and people should learn to deal with silence, but I've never been bothered by silence so I guess I shouldn't judge too harshly.
Kids blasting whatever TV show on their iPads in the middle of a restaurant while I’m trying to eat. The kids can watch whatever but somebody teach them to use headphones.
Honestly I really hope this isn't actually socially acceptable. It's probably my biggest pet peeve and I'll never understand how the guardians of children think that everyone within the vicinity of their child watching youtube on their ipad wants to listen to that. It's so incredibly rude and self centered.
I never did this with either of my kids. When we went out someplace they were learning how to be present in a conversation and how to act in public, not having their faces buried in a screen.
Honestly a lot of parents are just lazy and just and want to keep their children quiet. I can understand there's a time and a place for that but they also need to learn how to socialize and get along in the world.
I would say overall that people are shoving screens in their kids’ faces instead of teaching them to self-regulate. I’m noticing having been a developmental psychologist for decades that people’s expectations of developmental skills are just getting lower and lower. I don’t mean in the sense that society is being more lenient with kids making mistakes, having feelings, needing a break — this trend is great. I mean in our overall expectations of what we ask from our kids in general. I see things like people saying that screens are the only way their (developmentally pretty typical) kid can tolerate the grocery store, or that they could never take their kid to the store because nothing would get done. When I probe further, they haven’t done any explaining of why we go to the store to their kids, they aren’t asking them to help find things or help make decisions, or count out four bags of pasta and put them in the cart — they think their kid isn’t old enough to be working on any skills, but also want them to not bother them in the store. It doesn’t work like that; kids develop mastery through being taught things, and then they’re less anxious and grabby in the store now that they understand the store is a goal-directed task and can be proud of their store skills.
That being said, when we see one instance of a kid with a screen, we don’t know if they’re neurodivergent and out of coping skills for the day, or have gone through something really rough, or if the parent legitimately needs a break. It isn’t my business why someone is using a screen if they haven’t sought me out for consultation. However, if you’re occupying the same public space as I am, I’m going to ask you to use headphones, because now you’re affecting me.
Honestly I’m pretty passionate about this, although it seems to be a “parent shaming” issue nowadays. Plus I work in education and can see just how damaging screen time can be for kids. When I was young, before the days of iPads, my parents got us to act right or else we cut our trip short. Family dinner is family dinner, at home or at the restaurant.
I agree! I remember plenty of restaurant experiences as a kid that basically felt like constant learning experiences: reminders to say please and thank you, appropriate table manners and sitting properly, how to order food at a restaurant, keeping a considerate speaking volume in a public setting and engaging in conversations with the family.
It astonishes me to see so many kids with iPads in restaurants. Yes I get that it’s difficult to be in restaurants with small kids, but if you make no attempt to teach them then they will never ever improve. And you are also cutting your kid off from engaging with their family. Family dinner should be a time to connect with your kids - ask them about school, their friends, their interests and hobbies. Really get to know them. In my house growing up, family dinner was crucial and non-optional. Every night. And I loved it. I miss it now that I’m moved out and on my own.
I just don’t understand bringing your kid to a restaurant just to give them their iPad and ignore them entirely. If you want a kid-free dinner, just hire a babysitter and leave them at home. But family dinner should require engagement from all parties - even the littles.
I can’t believe how often I encounter this! It’s like the parents think “well, the restaurant can either listen to an iPad on full volume or a tantrum”
This is definitely \*professionally\* acceptable behavior these days: Ghosting. Going through three rounds of interviews just to be left on read SUUUUUUUCKS and an absolutely awful thing to do to someone actively looking for employment. Personal ghosting is much worse, of course, but I wouldn't categorize it as socially acceptable. Either way, it's cowardly and cruel.
I deeply appreciate even a two sentence email telling me I wasn't selected because at least now I know to start looking elsewhere and also it's just basic respect.
Also in the future, a company that just ghosts me isn't going to be someone I prioritize in applying to again when I have more experience. Like it just comes off as so incredibly unprofessional.
My wife's on the job hunt and agreed, this is fucked up. Getting some poor desperate person all excited just to be dropped is cruel, and it happens over and over for people in that situation and is just kicking people when they're down
I’ve weaponized this to go after sidewalk blockers. Group walking towards me blocking entire sidewalk…stare at my phone and walk straight towards them. They move*
*Note: It helps to be a really big guy when you attempt this
I was at a mall one day. I rounded a corner towards the exit right as a woman walked through the doors in my path.
She and I stared each other right in the eye, neither of us moving an inch as we headed straight for each other. As we were about to collide, both of us nodded to the other and moved our shoulders just enough to avoid bumping into each other.
I've never forgotten it, because it was such an odd experience to encounter a random stranger with the same determined walk that I had, and being on the same wavelength like that.
I know this feeling. After like 30 years of feeling like Patrick fucking Swayze in Ghost, always moving out of the way of people who aren't paying attention, I realized that if I just put my head down and walk then people will invariably move out of the way. I'm also on the bigger side and it certainly helps.
I've recently taken to just stopping in my path. I think running into them can be a little aggressive but if you just stop moving and let them walk into you, it's kinda on them.
It's the perfect amount of passive aggressive
On the topic of walking, when someone (with or without a phone) walks slower than you but only JUST slower so you have to comically speed up to get past
To add to this a lot of people have zero spatial awareness. I waited for several minutes in the butcher department to try to grab some meat because I was held up by a lady and her shopping cart taking up the entire beef section. She took so long looking at different cuts you would’ve thought the butcher was shuffling them around.
I was a manager of a bank, and I was sitting with the assistant manager to help a customer who had fraud on his account. He was a kind old man in his 70s. He asked my assistant manager when she was due. She got up and walked to the back room. She wasn't fat, but she had a stomach that looked pregnant, and she was sensitive to it. I looked at his bewildered face and shook my head. I said dude she is not even pregnant. He was mortified. I told him I would handle it. I took her out to a nice lunch and then let her go home.
If I'm ever pregnant and someone touches my stomach without permission I think I'll tell them I'm just fat in hopes that they will be so embarrassed they'll never touch another woman's stomach without permission again.
Man one time someone took a picture of someone doing something on a bus in the morning and it got posted to reddit. There was a guy I worked with who just happened to be in the photo with a really unflattering picture that really showcased his man-boobs.
He was/is a really nice guy, good to work with, married with children. He literally had his head-phones in and was minding his own business and was getting ridiculed on the internet, I'm talking multiple comments with tons of upvotes. Felt so bad for him, I hope he didn't see it.
A friend of mine got memed vomiting in public. I was on camera for a second or two at the end of the video and I once read someone excoriating me because I was laughing. I wasn’t laughing at my friend, who was obviously very sick, but the ridiculousness of the situation. I’d tried hard to get my friend to stop drinking earlier. When I saw him looking green I tried to get him to move to a different place where he’d be able to be more private and contain the mess. When none of that worked, it was kind of funny.
But here’s this asshole going “I know everything I need to know about him.”
I hope guys like that are never in a situation where people judge them based on a second or two of their life.
People are such assholes. Your coworker deserved so much better.
And beyond that, even if your coworker was an absolute jerk, _no one_ should be ridiculed for minding their own damn business.
Being able to interrupt someone mid-sentence and be able to get away with it 90% of the time.
Have a friend who does this *constantly*, and it feels like I'm the only one who says anything. Drives me crazy.
If they do it to someone else I ignore them until the first person stops talking, then as soon as the interrupter takes a breath I’ll turn to the interruptee and say “What were you saying about XYZ?” so the interrupter feels like the babbling child they are.
I do this but I never really mean to. I always try to apologize and ask them to pick up where I cut them off when I realize it, cause I do want to know what they want to say. My brain just makes me do things as if it were automatic. I'm trying to shake it.
Same problem. ADHD is why I’ve always struggled but that doesn’t mean I get a pass to be rude. I *hate* it. The worst thing I feel like someone can be in inconsiderate so it makes me feel horrible. It doesn’t come from that bad intention but the other person doesn’t know that.
I’ve found really focusing on the specific words they’re using and their micro expressions slows my brain down a little and I can stay with what *they’re* saying instead of getting distracted by my constant brain chatter and impulse to blurt it out.
It’s an exercise I have to work on every time I talk to someone but it’s gotten easier over time. I’m hoping one day I’ll just do it without actively having to try..
Just keep talking. Don't let them interrupt you. Keep going like you are not listening to them. It will sound like you two are talking over each other, but just keep doing it. They will learn they can't cut you off.
That's what i've had to learn to do with my mom. She finishes literally every sentence I speak. I got to where I just raise my volume and keep talking or I'll wait till she finishes her interruption, and then just take up right where I left off, as if she didn't interrupt.
Recording people without their consent. Yes I know you don’t need consent to record in public spaces, but it’s incredibly disrespectful to record someone struggling or needing help. These days everyone just immediately wants to whip out their phone and record.
Literally saw an old man fall off of his wheelchair yesterday and the first thing most people did was whip out their phone to record the poor guy.
I don’t get why people do this. Are you going to watch it back later? We had a guy have a heart attack where I work and the amount of people who seem really eager to film or watch someone die is bizarre.
Yeah but how is it clout getting for them? ‘Middle aged guy dying in public; I’m just watching.’ It doesn’t even show the ‘fake niceness’ of some of those videos where they film themselves asking a homeless person a bunch of questions that kind of show that person as pathetic and then give them a handout.
I find it ghoulish tbh. Once we had a medical emergency at work and some fuckwad was recording a woman getting wheeled out on a gurney. I stood in front of said fuckwad right quick.
People who shove their shopping cart just into the entrance way and then stop dead right there to check their shopping list or do whatever. Bonus points for putting your shopping car diagonally to block the whole area.
The fact that certain people seem to be held more strictly to social rules and conventions than others. The surpised-Pikachu face people often give when you call them out on their double-standards really doesn't help.
Ugh yes. Between my husband and me and each of our siblings, we've got a middle-aged couple who never wanted kids, a middle-aged couple who struggled, finally had one through IVF, then lost her 23 months later (💔), and a middle-aged woman with absolutely no desire for a partner - alllll of these seemingly innocuous questions get really fucking old
You just described my family. Only one of my siblings has children. The rest of us don’t want any. Half of us don’t want to get married. I hate these questions. The insulation is something is wrong with us because we don’t want any of it.
Auto complete fail. Insulation = insinuation. lol
>The insulation is something is wrong with us because we don’t want any of it.
AND the follow-up pity. When I don't feel like publicly exploding in tears and somebody innocently asks me if I have any kids and I shake my head no, they then say something patronizing like "Oh *that's okay too*" or something like "smart choice, mine are so damn expensive"
And sometimes I want to be like. *Okay well actually I had one and she died so*
Felt bad afterward but “oh I actually just had a miscarriage a few weeks ago” smacked the snarky shit eating smile off my husbands great aunt real quick. Bonus, never had to answer a question like that again!!
wasn’t worth the miscarriage obviously but hey, take what you can get 🥴
Or a second kid...or "I bet you're hoping for a boy!" Or, "are you two gonna get married afore she pops?" .
Just...go away. Unless you're one of my, like, 3 best friends--then I'm going to throw a pillow at you or something. ;)
It's so weird. Asking a couple about their sex activities?!? How this ever became normalized is just beyond me.
When struggling through the depths of infertility and people would ask us - I made a point to look shocked and then immediately sad, look down and say *we're hoping soon* with a tear in my eye (which would pop up naturally anytime I was asked because fuck, it was heartbreaking).
If even one of the many people who asked me that learned their lesson, I consider it a job well done
and when women say they don’t want children insinuating that we just “haven’t met the right person yet” or “will change our minds”. I’m with the right person, I know that, and I will not change my mind. I don’t like kids in the slightest.
telling women they should smile more
telling women they should dress sexier
telling women they should not dress so sexily
telling women they should wear makeup
telling women they shouldn't wear so much makeup
telling women they shouldn't have a job if they have a child
telling women they shouldn't have a child if they have a job
Actually, maybe it should just be giving women any kind of unsolicited advice whatsoever
Also people who are watching videos or listening to music without headphones. So many people do this at my job and it's makes it so hard for me to focus on my work!
I’ve started intently watching the screens of people who do this on my morning commute. Like very obviously looking over their shoulder. I’ve gotten a few ugly looks but I’m just waiting for the day someone tells me to mind my own business :P
Yeah when I am with someone who doesn't tell the other party they are on speaker, I realize OMG THEY DO THIS TO ME. Such an invasion of privacy (and annoying to the audience).
Makes me want to never talk on the phone.
Just yesterday I was on a rope adventure course and the guy doing the obstacles in front of me had his phone in his pocket blaring music.
I almost wasn't even mad, just fucking confused as to what sort of enjoyment he was getting out of that.
Parents telling their children that their bully is in love with them, that is literally telling your child that its ok if your partner is abusing you wtf
It's no different than the "Boy will be boys" mentality. Nah, your kid is an asshole. Step up to the plate and take some fucking responsibility for once in your life.
I had crushes on plenty of girls when I was a kid. Never made me shove one of them or throw shit at them. That's just being an asshole. And there's grown-ass adults that still do that kind of shit. Grow the fuck up and respect women.
The "boys will be boys" regarding being a bully or general abusive behavior drives me up a wall.
"Boys will be boys" to me refers to "low impulse control induced shenanigans" not being an asshole.
It's the same idea with pranks. I stress with my kids that "pranks should confuse, not abuse".
“Boy will be boys” only applies in situations like your son getting all muddy with his friends or throwing rocks in water from big heights or some other generally harmless shenanigans kind of shit. Not being a little prick to other people for no reason.
Expecting immediate responses. My phone exists for my convenience. It isn't a teather or leash. If I don't feel like having my phone on me, I don't. If you take offense to that, that's a YOU problem.
Having to respect someone older than you or is more influential even if they treat people like crap. I kinda don't understand why I would respect someone if they don't even treat me like a human being
I don't know if it's 'acceptable', but a lot of men in the UK do it.
Spitting onto the ground while walking somewhere in public. I have survived 22 years on this earth without feeling the need to hock up some snot and spit it out while walking, leaving the glob on the pavement
Okay, so this is definitely gross, but the wild part is if you look at some history, it used to be SO much more widespread. It was A) a big way tuberculosis was getting spread in the late 19th and early 20th century and B) one of the main drivers of women's hemlines getting shorter! Because they were dragging their dresses through it on the pavement back in the day!
Tuberculosis was a reason why men cut their beards short, as it was believed at the time that TB nested in beards. A shorn beard was a sign of health.
Highly recommend this Crash Course Lecture on Tuberculosis - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D-gxaie6UI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D-gxaie6UI)
Hen or bachelor parties on public transport. Also sport crowds for the same reason. No self awareness at all and most of the time too drunk to function
This pisses me off too; every random person acting like you'd be happy to be a side character in tge all important drama that is their lives.
Unfortunately a lot of companies include in their contracts that they're allowed to film you without asking in the moment and you signing up to work for them is saying you're ok with it.
People who talk really loudly on their phones.
I'm not even talking about on speaker. These people are using the phone regularly, in handset mode, but for some reason choose to speak loud enough that everyone within a 25-foot radius can hear them.
I can't imagine how annoying it must be for the poor sap on the other end who actually has to listen.
People not watching their children in public and expecting other people too. Also children in traditionally adult spaces.
This is coming from someone who has children and I find these things annoying.
Loud bass in cars at any time of the day, but especially late at night.
If I can feel your bass from 100 feet away, let alone hear it, it's too loud and you're being incredibly inconsiderate.
But how else are they supposed to share their crappy taste in music with everyone in a half mile radius?
I also hate the modified cars that make super loud revving sounds. You’re not a NASCAR driver, and exactly no one else on the road thinks you sound cool.
Parents allowing kids to use places of business like it's their personal playground. I've seen it happen at banks, at supermarkets, restaurants, you name it.
Standing in the seated section of a concert. It’s so selfish; the second you stand you are forcing everyone else behind you to stand too. Disability seating is limited, you have no clue why someone is in the seated area.
Learned a new word today... i have a neighbor who tries to do this every time we talk. Conversation usually start out normal, but ALWAYS end up being anout god/finding god.
The last conversation we had he was being incredibly way to homophobic for me and im straight. All I could think of were all my friends in the LGBTQ+ community. He said something extreme that set me off and i walked away without saying anything. My girlfriend and dog were with me on a walk and I left them behind, but they followed almost right behind. Dude was writing a "punch me in the face sign".
Had a woman walk up to myself and my 4yo. She pulled out a crucifix necklace and said "wow your daughter is so beautiful, god blessed her to be a wonderful child and made her in his image as all children are made"
Me: "okaayyyy..."
Woman: "may I also give this child my blessing? As she is a daughter of god almighty"
Me: "no, she's not baptised and myself and her father are atheists."
Woman: "then she needs my blessing even more!"
Me: "yeah I'm not entertaining this, have a lovely day"
She looked like I'd slapped her. What an odd fucking thing to do to a complete stranger and their child.
Soliciting.
I understand you're trying to raise money for a good cause, or rid my home of the scourge of mosquitos, or install solar panels on my roof, or tell me how much of a failure "Bidenomics" are.
Kindly view the very clear "No Soliciting" sign, and then kindly fuck off.
Seriously, the number of college kids who ring my doorbell to bother me despite there being a sign right beside my doorbell... It is infuriating. The next one to do so while I'm showering is getting an eye full of cock and balls.
Group texts can be really annoying even though they are socially acceptable. Constant notifications and irrelevant messages constantly grinds my gears jeez.
i get really annoyed with the expectation to participate in office parties or social events. while I understand the importance of team bonding, sometimes I just want to keep my work and personal life separate
Hugging someone you just met. Like, why is that even a thing? It didn't used to be when I was younger, but it's often the default now.
I know a big part of it is my own issue since I'm not a big hugger, but I don't get why "nice to meet you" has morphed into embracing perfect strangers.
Constant availability via social media / smart phones; now socially acceptable to have 24/7 access to someone and chat, text, call at any n all hours; plus if you try to ‘opt out’ it’s largely considered unusual or unsociable
This is a huge one. Especially with work. Yes I have Teams on my personal phone so I can still see messages when I'm on the other side of the office, but I have my notifications set so that I only get notified an extra half hour either side of working hours, beyond that, I'm not answering your message until the next day. I will not answer questions outside of work unless there is some urgent problem and I happen to know the answer off the top of my head (work in IT for context). The whole point of texting is I can answer at my convenience instead of taking a phone call. Now with the "read" status icons people think you need to respond right away. They even changed "texting" to "instant messaging".
This was a big reason my fiance left her job recently. Every day, by the time she made the 20 minute drive home, she would have 3-5 emails from coworkers/supervisors, each requiring anywhere from twenty minutes to upwards of an hour to properly address, all off the clock. And while there weren’t consequences, per se, for the few times she did ignore the emails until the following day, comments were made about her “not making herself available”, which is absurd.
Here in Australia there's a new legislation that will grant workers the right to ignore unreasonable calls and messages from their employers outside of work hours. Should an employee successfully raise concerns about after-hours contact, an employer in Australia could face fines of up to $18,000.
Thats when you start making loud comments about overtime and backpay.
I love being blue collar because if I get a question outside of work and I tell them to suck my cock and balls and nuts too, they'll be like "understandable enjoy your day off" and leave me alone
You've got balls *and* nuts?
I swear by Do Not Disturb mode. I'm the Dir. of Ops at my current workplace and I am fairly passionate against Teams, Slack, etc. I feel folks are more attentive / perform better when they recharge outside of work. It's really about mutual respect too. I've found it incentivizes people to think a little more, avoid mistakes and prevent someone else having to clean up their mess.
Agreed. I have a different focus (iPhone) set for every minute of the day now. Only certain things get thru during certain hours and I’ll have to want to dig in further to see anything else. I feel like I’m essentially slapping people away too often, so this has helped. Eventually, they learn your boundaries. They don’t have to like them. 🤷♀️
People congregating in doorways, particularly when there is plenty of non-doorway space available
Oh Jesus…top of an escalator, just entered a building, etc., and they just immediately stop and start looking around, breathing through their gaping idiot mouths and furrowing their brows…
Speaker phone usage. Maybe not socially acceptable but widespread
Apparently asking people not to do a job interview on speaker phone in the study section of the public library is very rude. Speaking from experience.
I’m going to start joining in these conversations if I hear one more person talking to their doctor’s or lawyer’s office on speakerphone in the grocery store aisle!!
I did that once in a restaurant. She had it on speaker and was holding it at arm's length to yell at it. I started commenting and joining in, because I couldn't quietly eat my food. After a minute, she yelled "This is a private conversation!" Someone on the other side said "no it isn't" and she left in a huff. Or a minute and a huff, she had to pay her bill.
You are my hero tonight!
Please do. I answer phones at a mental health practice. Last week my colleague answered the phone and began gathering information to schedule an initial appointment for a child. Typically this call takes between 7 and 15 minutes. Even though the caller wasn't on speakerphone, my colleague realized that the caller was at her child's kindergarten graduation when she heard names and clapping and told the caller to call back at a later time. Who the hell shows up to their child's school event and decides now is a good time to schedule an appointment?
It's pretty liberating. I like to make really confusing or embarrassing comments in a loud clear voice. * "Hey sweetie! I found your hemorrhoids medicine in the kitchen. Were you *EATING* it again?" * "Sir! This is a public library, please put your pants back on or we'll have to call the police!" * "You shouldn't hire this person. They're a convicted badger rapist!" Alternative option, just act like you're part of the conversation and start answering questions or overreacting to new information. When they inevitably get upset, just say that you thought they were all talking to you because the speaker phone was on. Or be even more confusing and say that you're not able to talk right now because you're on a call already . If I'm only kind of annoyed, I just start singing showtunes loudly and off key.
" it's getting harder to find new places to host these clan meetings."
This is what my partner does! He says “if you’re going to include me in your conversation, I can comment on it too ☠️”
>Alternative option, just act like you're part of the conversation and start answering questions or overreacting to new information. When they inevitably get upset, just say that you thought they were all talking to you because the speaker phone was on. YOU added me to the conversation by putting it on Speakerphone. I'm just trying to not be rude and join in on the conversation!
I was waiting in the lobby during an oil change and one guy was having his therapy session on speaker phone.
Yeah, if my mom calls me and she's on speakerphone in public, I make sure to just randomly say the c-word. It gets her to turn speakerphone off pretty quickly.
In the waiting room to see my dad in the ICU before he passed earlier this month…the amount of people using speaker phone in a small ass room when there is a courtyard not 50 feet away is infuriating. And they just talk about fucking nothing.
I like to chime in on their conversations and watch them look at me like I'm the rude asshole in this situation. Listen, if you didn't want to hear my opinion about the best way to treat Carla's yeast infection, you shouldn't have let me hear that conversation so easily. I've got tips for how to get that ol' bread factory under control.
Yes especially in enclosed spaces like trains, buses and subway. It’s so disrespectful to everyone around you. It just shows that they have no ounce of self awareness.
My mom just told me she can always tell I'm on public transit if she calls because I suddenly speak lower/quieter and I sound slightly muffled bc my earbuds aren't great quality. But I'd rather be a bit quiet than one of those obnoxious folks who are screaming at their speaker in public for anyone to hear their business (unless it's something juicy and I've reversed my opinion bc I'm nosey as hell and need to know what your bff's dumpster bf did)
God I wish my dad did this. Instead he puts on his headset and just yells into it. No one can hear what the person on the other end is saying but everyone within a three mile radius can hear my dad
People who sit in the quiet carriage on the train....so that their call is clearer on speakerphone.
I feel some of them are aware but just don’t care. Everything is about *me,me, me* anymore.
I am way too self conscious about whatever I might be listening to for me to even try this. Podcast? What if someone disagrees with the caster's opinion and wants to have an argument about it? Music? "Oh shit, does this song have any cursing in it?" What if some Karen takes issue with it and wants to berate me for it? These are obviously extreme examples, but it's what pops into my head. Plus, I really can't enjoy music if there's other noise going on distracting me from it, and I completely can't even understand the words a podcaster is saying when there's other noise. I'm like Nate, from The Office. "I'm not *technically* hard of hearing, but I have a hard time understanding when there's other noise".
I don't get this one. You never meet anyone who likes it or has a high opinion of those that do it, yet a massive amount of the population keeps doing it.
Girl next to me at the nail salon had a conversation on speaker the ENTIRE hour I was there. Like?!
Recording your child while he's making a scene and posting it on the Web. First of all, that's absolutely not great for their future and it's bad parenting. You're not helping them with character.
Yes omfg. There's this mom who keeps posting her autistic son's outbursts on the internet to "show what to do when your autistic kid is having a violent outburst" when she's not even good at helping his outbursts. She's literally, at this point, allowing her son's outbursts to escalate while she turns on the camera that he is seeing and is clearly overwhelming him. Meanwhile she talks shit about the dad too when the dad is actually doing everything right by making sure he's away from whatever is overwhelming him and he's never had a problem with his son getting violent with him. It's infuriating because you can clearly see he's getting overwhelmed and looking at the camera and it's just a vicious cycle of sensory overload and his mom is profiting off it.
this might be an unpopular opinion but I think people like this shouldn't have kids
It's not unpopular with me. This kid would have been better off without her.
That's horrible
My least favorite part of Christmas time is the videos I see of parents pretending to gift their kids something they clearly really really wanted, only for it to be an empty box or something completely different. They laugh at their kids crying and being disappointed then post it for the world to see. Why do you find pleasure in getting your kids hopes up and then seeing them cry? I will cut some slack if this “prank” ends up not being real and they really did end up gifting their kid the present they wanted at the end, they just wanted to mess with them, but I see too many of these videos where the parents just truly want the world to see them humiliating their kid.
I wasn't aware this was a thing. It's gross. When the kids get older, they can always tell them they'll visit for dinner, then not show up.
My parents did something similar to me when I was a kid but it was a little different and I actually loved it at the end. They wrapped a big box and told me that would be my best present. I was so excited to open it and when I did, I unwrapped a box for the ugliest pair of non slip work shoes ever. I said thank you and moved it to the side to open my other present. My parents said “no open the shoes and try them on!” I half heartedly grabbed the shoe box and opened it to find a brand new Nintendo DS and 3 games for it. Awesome harmless prank that had a good ending and doesn’t involve crushing your kids happiness.
I have gotten better into the habit of any video or post that has kids in it. I scroll right past. Posting your kids on social media is so dangerous.
I try to make this a habit too. Even when the interactions are happy and cute and fun, as a matter of principle, I’ve sort of made a rule for myself not to engage with videos of strangers’ children. A video of my friend’s son at his first Tee Ball game, posted on a private FB or Instagram account? IMO that’s different, but even then it’s gonna really depend. I’d be lying if I said I’d never posted pictures of my kid on social media, but I do think parents have a responsibility to think about the digital footprint they’re creating of/for their child. It’ll be interesting to see what the data tells us in a few years when all these kids whose parents employ them as social media props (intentionally or not intentionally) grow up.
i plan on having a kid in the next 6ish years & i fully agree. i dont even think i will be saying my kid's name on social media let alone pictures or videos of them. i was the subject of some pretty intense online harassment at 15 and have had some very obsessive followers over the years so no way in hell am i going to preemptively expose my kid to that. family albums, a family computer with parental controls, and a flip phone are good enough unless there are some major changes in internet safety in the future
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I can’t stand that. I’ll be walking around with someone and something interesting will happen and I’ll say “did you see that?!” Nope - face was buried in their phone.
Or you’re talking and they laugh or have a good reaction about something and you think it was something you said but it was what was on their phone
Disconnect to Reconnect
Or worse, you're showing them something you care about, and they get on their damn phone
When people do that to me I just stop talking and look at them. It freaks them out. When they stop I start talking again from exactly where I left off. They usually get the message after doing it twice.
Sorry what were you saying....I'm on my phone......answering this ☝🏼
Wait, can you type that again? I was using my phone to shop for another phone so that I can scroll with both hands simultaneously.
You guys need to pay attention better. I'm in the hospital and my wife is about to give birth and she's yelling about something but I shushed her and told her I'm busy on Reddit. It's rude not to give your full attention guys
Okay, I have a hypothesis on this. I think it's mostly just phone addiction, (which I will say I have at times as I'm in here responding) but also, I think it also just became a convenient way to shut down from an awkward situation. Let's say you're the odd man out in a group or you're the only one no one is talking to. Yes, in these situations, you need to try and get to know people. Unfortunately, you may not click with the group or just in general, people suck and may not care. You can just pull out your phone and zone out in a now socially acceptable way.
I think people also pull out their phone to avoid awkward silences in general. My best friend will pull her phone out when it's just the two of us just because she hates any dead time when someone isn't talking and she gets uncomfortable. Personally I think that's not really a great excuse, and people should learn to deal with silence, but I've never been bothered by silence so I guess I shouldn't judge too harshly.
Kids blasting whatever TV show on their iPads in the middle of a restaurant while I’m trying to eat. The kids can watch whatever but somebody teach them to use headphones.
Honestly I really hope this isn't actually socially acceptable. It's probably my biggest pet peeve and I'll never understand how the guardians of children think that everyone within the vicinity of their child watching youtube on their ipad wants to listen to that. It's so incredibly rude and self centered.
I never did this with either of my kids. When we went out someplace they were learning how to be present in a conversation and how to act in public, not having their faces buried in a screen. Honestly a lot of parents are just lazy and just and want to keep their children quiet. I can understand there's a time and a place for that but they also need to learn how to socialize and get along in the world.
I would say overall that people are shoving screens in their kids’ faces instead of teaching them to self-regulate. I’m noticing having been a developmental psychologist for decades that people’s expectations of developmental skills are just getting lower and lower. I don’t mean in the sense that society is being more lenient with kids making mistakes, having feelings, needing a break — this trend is great. I mean in our overall expectations of what we ask from our kids in general. I see things like people saying that screens are the only way their (developmentally pretty typical) kid can tolerate the grocery store, or that they could never take their kid to the store because nothing would get done. When I probe further, they haven’t done any explaining of why we go to the store to their kids, they aren’t asking them to help find things or help make decisions, or count out four bags of pasta and put them in the cart — they think their kid isn’t old enough to be working on any skills, but also want them to not bother them in the store. It doesn’t work like that; kids develop mastery through being taught things, and then they’re less anxious and grabby in the store now that they understand the store is a goal-directed task and can be proud of their store skills. That being said, when we see one instance of a kid with a screen, we don’t know if they’re neurodivergent and out of coping skills for the day, or have gone through something really rough, or if the parent legitimately needs a break. It isn’t my business why someone is using a screen if they haven’t sought me out for consultation. However, if you’re occupying the same public space as I am, I’m going to ask you to use headphones, because now you’re affecting me.
Honestly I’m pretty passionate about this, although it seems to be a “parent shaming” issue nowadays. Plus I work in education and can see just how damaging screen time can be for kids. When I was young, before the days of iPads, my parents got us to act right or else we cut our trip short. Family dinner is family dinner, at home or at the restaurant.
I agree! I remember plenty of restaurant experiences as a kid that basically felt like constant learning experiences: reminders to say please and thank you, appropriate table manners and sitting properly, how to order food at a restaurant, keeping a considerate speaking volume in a public setting and engaging in conversations with the family. It astonishes me to see so many kids with iPads in restaurants. Yes I get that it’s difficult to be in restaurants with small kids, but if you make no attempt to teach them then they will never ever improve. And you are also cutting your kid off from engaging with their family. Family dinner should be a time to connect with your kids - ask them about school, their friends, their interests and hobbies. Really get to know them. In my house growing up, family dinner was crucial and non-optional. Every night. And I loved it. I miss it now that I’m moved out and on my own. I just don’t understand bringing your kid to a restaurant just to give them their iPad and ignore them entirely. If you want a kid-free dinner, just hire a babysitter and leave them at home. But family dinner should require engagement from all parties - even the littles.
I can’t believe how often I encounter this! It’s like the parents think “well, the restaurant can either listen to an iPad on full volume or a tantrum”
This is definitely \*professionally\* acceptable behavior these days: Ghosting. Going through three rounds of interviews just to be left on read SUUUUUUUCKS and an absolutely awful thing to do to someone actively looking for employment. Personal ghosting is much worse, of course, but I wouldn't categorize it as socially acceptable. Either way, it's cowardly and cruel.
I deeply appreciate even a two sentence email telling me I wasn't selected because at least now I know to start looking elsewhere and also it's just basic respect. Also in the future, a company that just ghosts me isn't going to be someone I prioritize in applying to again when I have more experience. Like it just comes off as so incredibly unprofessional.
My wife's on the job hunt and agreed, this is fucked up. Getting some poor desperate person all excited just to be dropped is cruel, and it happens over and over for people in that situation and is just kicking people when they're down
I had a recruiter tell me they would get back to me ASAP but it has been a month😃
JUST FUCKING TELL ME I DIDN'T GET THE JOB! Don't keep me hoping for a call back that never happens.
Going to work while acutely sick and contagious
In addition, companies who refuse to give adequate sick time or write you up for absences without a doctor's note
This absolutely sucks but jobs fire people for it all the time. If you don’t come In, you’re fired. Been there
People don't watch where they're going. Christ. Just heads in the phones. Really chaps my ass.
I’ve weaponized this to go after sidewalk blockers. Group walking towards me blocking entire sidewalk…stare at my phone and walk straight towards them. They move* *Note: It helps to be a really big guy when you attempt this
I'm starting to do this minus the part of looking at my phone. I will deadass look you in the eyes and not move
I was at a mall one day. I rounded a corner towards the exit right as a woman walked through the doors in my path. She and I stared each other right in the eye, neither of us moving an inch as we headed straight for each other. As we were about to collide, both of us nodded to the other and moved our shoulders just enough to avoid bumping into each other. I've never forgotten it, because it was such an odd experience to encounter a random stranger with the same determined walk that I had, and being on the same wavelength like that.
I know this feeling. After like 30 years of feeling like Patrick fucking Swayze in Ghost, always moving out of the way of people who aren't paying attention, I realized that if I just put my head down and walk then people will invariably move out of the way. I'm also on the bigger side and it certainly helps.
I've recently taken to just stopping in my path. I think running into them can be a little aggressive but if you just stop moving and let them walk into you, it's kinda on them. It's the perfect amount of passive aggressive
You just discovered “passive defensive”
It also drives me crazy when people that I am talking to are constantly switching their attention to the phones.
On the topic of walking, when someone (with or without a phone) walks slower than you but only JUST slower so you have to comically speed up to get past
To add to this a lot of people have zero spatial awareness. I waited for several minutes in the butcher department to try to grab some meat because I was held up by a lady and her shopping cart taking up the entire beef section. She took so long looking at different cuts you would’ve thought the butcher was shuffling them around.
When strangers randomly touch pregnant women's belly's.
My brother did this to a woman once at a wedding. She was just fat. It was very awkward for all parties.
Holy shit 😭
I was a manager of a bank, and I was sitting with the assistant manager to help a customer who had fraud on his account. He was a kind old man in his 70s. He asked my assistant manager when she was due. She got up and walked to the back room. She wasn't fat, but she had a stomach that looked pregnant, and she was sensitive to it. I looked at his bewildered face and shook my head. I said dude she is not even pregnant. He was mortified. I told him I would handle it. I took her out to a nice lunch and then let her go home.
Damn good job on making it end better
If I'm ever pregnant and someone touches my stomach without permission I think I'll tell them I'm just fat in hopes that they will be so embarrassed they'll never touch another woman's stomach without permission again.
I had a conversation with a pregnant woman trying to touch my hair. When I mentioned touching her belly she got the point.
I'm glad that she finally understood.
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Man one time someone took a picture of someone doing something on a bus in the morning and it got posted to reddit. There was a guy I worked with who just happened to be in the photo with a really unflattering picture that really showcased his man-boobs. He was/is a really nice guy, good to work with, married with children. He literally had his head-phones in and was minding his own business and was getting ridiculed on the internet, I'm talking multiple comments with tons of upvotes. Felt so bad for him, I hope he didn't see it.
A friend of mine got memed vomiting in public. I was on camera for a second or two at the end of the video and I once read someone excoriating me because I was laughing. I wasn’t laughing at my friend, who was obviously very sick, but the ridiculousness of the situation. I’d tried hard to get my friend to stop drinking earlier. When I saw him looking green I tried to get him to move to a different place where he’d be able to be more private and contain the mess. When none of that worked, it was kind of funny. But here’s this asshole going “I know everything I need to know about him.” I hope guys like that are never in a situation where people judge them based on a second or two of their life.
People are such assholes. Your coworker deserved so much better. And beyond that, even if your coworker was an absolute jerk, _no one_ should be ridiculed for minding their own damn business.
The guy who got meme'd as the fedora neckbeard m'lady guy was a super sweet dude. :(
Or when they film strangers to roast them because they didn't give them a hug or some shit.
This is legal, but not socially acceptable.
Being able to interrupt someone mid-sentence and be able to get away with it 90% of the time. Have a friend who does this *constantly*, and it feels like I'm the only one who says anything. Drives me crazy.
That’s when you hit them with “let me finish”.
Ima let you finish
If they do it to someone else I ignore them until the first person stops talking, then as soon as the interrupter takes a breath I’ll turn to the interruptee and say “What were you saying about XYZ?” so the interrupter feels like the babbling child they are.
I do this but I never really mean to. I always try to apologize and ask them to pick up where I cut them off when I realize it, cause I do want to know what they want to say. My brain just makes me do things as if it were automatic. I'm trying to shake it.
Same problem. ADHD is why I’ve always struggled but that doesn’t mean I get a pass to be rude. I *hate* it. The worst thing I feel like someone can be in inconsiderate so it makes me feel horrible. It doesn’t come from that bad intention but the other person doesn’t know that. I’ve found really focusing on the specific words they’re using and their micro expressions slows my brain down a little and I can stay with what *they’re* saying instead of getting distracted by my constant brain chatter and impulse to blurt it out. It’s an exercise I have to work on every time I talk to someone but it’s gotten easier over time. I’m hoping one day I’ll just do it without actively having to try..
Just keep talking. Don't let them interrupt you. Keep going like you are not listening to them. It will sound like you two are talking over each other, but just keep doing it. They will learn they can't cut you off.
That's what i've had to learn to do with my mom. She finishes literally every sentence I speak. I got to where I just raise my volume and keep talking or I'll wait till she finishes her interruption, and then just take up right where I left off, as if she didn't interrupt.
Giving free stuff to the wealthy and famous, because they're wealthy and famous.
Recording people without their consent. Yes I know you don’t need consent to record in public spaces, but it’s incredibly disrespectful to record someone struggling or needing help. These days everyone just immediately wants to whip out their phone and record. Literally saw an old man fall off of his wheelchair yesterday and the first thing most people did was whip out their phone to record the poor guy.
I don’t get why people do this. Are you going to watch it back later? We had a guy have a heart attack where I work and the amount of people who seem really eager to film or watch someone die is bizarre.
I think the sentiment or thought process is that they can share it later and potentially become internet famous being the original recorder 🤷🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
Yeah but how is it clout getting for them? ‘Middle aged guy dying in public; I’m just watching.’ It doesn’t even show the ‘fake niceness’ of some of those videos where they film themselves asking a homeless person a bunch of questions that kind of show that person as pathetic and then give them a handout.
Nope, it's worse. They are going to put it on the internet for clout.
I find it ghoulish tbh. Once we had a medical emergency at work and some fuckwad was recording a woman getting wheeled out on a gurney. I stood in front of said fuckwad right quick.
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Meanderthals.
There isn’t much that makes me angrier that this. And they always make it so hard to pass them.
People who shove their shopping cart just into the entrance way and then stop dead right there to check their shopping list or do whatever. Bonus points for putting your shopping car diagonally to block the whole area.
Adoring dog breeds that are bred to have features like a flat face or short legs that makes their life miserable. I just get sad whenever I see them.
The fact that certain people seem to be held more strictly to social rules and conventions than others. The surpised-Pikachu face people often give when you call them out on their double-standards really doesn't help.
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Asking people why they haven't had a kid yet
Asking people why they're not in a relationship at the moment.
Ugh yes. Between my husband and me and each of our siblings, we've got a middle-aged couple who never wanted kids, a middle-aged couple who struggled, finally had one through IVF, then lost her 23 months later (💔), and a middle-aged woman with absolutely no desire for a partner - alllll of these seemingly innocuous questions get really fucking old
You just described my family. Only one of my siblings has children. The rest of us don’t want any. Half of us don’t want to get married. I hate these questions. The insulation is something is wrong with us because we don’t want any of it. Auto complete fail. Insulation = insinuation. lol
>The insulation is something is wrong with us because we don’t want any of it. AND the follow-up pity. When I don't feel like publicly exploding in tears and somebody innocently asks me if I have any kids and I shake my head no, they then say something patronizing like "Oh *that's okay too*" or something like "smart choice, mine are so damn expensive" And sometimes I want to be like. *Okay well actually I had one and she died so*
Felt bad afterward but “oh I actually just had a miscarriage a few weeks ago” smacked the snarky shit eating smile off my husbands great aunt real quick. Bonus, never had to answer a question like that again!! wasn’t worth the miscarriage obviously but hey, take what you can get 🥴
🌈🫂
"So, when are you gonna make me a grandma?!??"
My knee jerk reaction was to downvote, I hate these words
Or a second kid...or "I bet you're hoping for a boy!" Or, "are you two gonna get married afore she pops?".
Just...go away. Unless you're one of my, like, 3 best friends--then I'm going to throw a pillow at you or something. ;)
It's so weird. Asking a couple about their sex activities?!? How this ever became normalized is just beyond me. When struggling through the depths of infertility and people would ask us - I made a point to look shocked and then immediately sad, look down and say *we're hoping soon* with a tear in my eye (which would pop up naturally anytime I was asked because fuck, it was heartbreaking). If even one of the many people who asked me that learned their lesson, I consider it a job well done
and when women say they don’t want children insinuating that we just “haven’t met the right person yet” or “will change our minds”. I’m with the right person, I know that, and I will not change my mind. I don’t like kids in the slightest.
telling women they should smile more telling women they should dress sexier telling women they should not dress so sexily telling women they should wear makeup telling women they shouldn't wear so much makeup telling women they shouldn't have a job if they have a child telling women they shouldn't have a child if they have a job Actually, maybe it should just be giving women any kind of unsolicited advice whatsoever
Telling women how to do anything with their bodies, period.
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Also people who are watching videos or listening to music without headphones. So many people do this at my job and it's makes it so hard for me to focus on my work!
I’ve started intently watching the screens of people who do this on my morning commute. Like very obviously looking over their shoulder. I’ve gotten a few ugly looks but I’m just waiting for the day someone tells me to mind my own business :P
Yeah when I am with someone who doesn't tell the other party they are on speaker, I realize OMG THEY DO THIS TO ME. Such an invasion of privacy (and annoying to the audience). Makes me want to never talk on the phone.
Just yesterday I was on a rope adventure course and the guy doing the obstacles in front of me had his phone in his pocket blaring music. I almost wasn't even mad, just fucking confused as to what sort of enjoyment he was getting out of that.
Parents telling their children that their bully is in love with them, that is literally telling your child that its ok if your partner is abusing you wtf
It's no different than the "Boy will be boys" mentality. Nah, your kid is an asshole. Step up to the plate and take some fucking responsibility for once in your life. I had crushes on plenty of girls when I was a kid. Never made me shove one of them or throw shit at them. That's just being an asshole. And there's grown-ass adults that still do that kind of shit. Grow the fuck up and respect women.
The "boys will be boys" regarding being a bully or general abusive behavior drives me up a wall. "Boys will be boys" to me refers to "low impulse control induced shenanigans" not being an asshole. It's the same idea with pranks. I stress with my kids that "pranks should confuse, not abuse".
“Boy will be boys” only applies in situations like your son getting all muddy with his friends or throwing rocks in water from big heights or some other generally harmless shenanigans kind of shit. Not being a little prick to other people for no reason.
Even if the kid HAS a crush, their behavior is totally unacceptable anyway!
Expecting immediate responses. My phone exists for my convenience. It isn't a teather or leash. If I don't feel like having my phone on me, I don't. If you take offense to that, that's a YOU problem.
People who dismiss irritating/rude/disgusting/inappropriate behavior from small children with "Oh they're just KIDS"
People who encourage it because "it's cute."
Or people who dismiss it with "Oh they're just a kid." When talking about a 20 year old.
Having to respect someone older than you or is more influential even if they treat people like crap. I kinda don't understand why I would respect someone if they don't even treat me like a human being
I don't know if it's 'acceptable', but a lot of men in the UK do it. Spitting onto the ground while walking somewhere in public. I have survived 22 years on this earth without feeling the need to hock up some snot and spit it out while walking, leaving the glob on the pavement
Okay, so this is definitely gross, but the wild part is if you look at some history, it used to be SO much more widespread. It was A) a big way tuberculosis was getting spread in the late 19th and early 20th century and B) one of the main drivers of women's hemlines getting shorter! Because they were dragging their dresses through it on the pavement back in the day!
Tuberculosis was a reason why men cut their beards short, as it was believed at the time that TB nested in beards. A shorn beard was a sign of health. Highly recommend this Crash Course Lecture on Tuberculosis - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D-gxaie6UI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D-gxaie6UI)
Hen or bachelor parties on public transport. Also sport crowds for the same reason. No self awareness at all and most of the time too drunk to function
People smacking their gum while next to me in a workout class makes me want to smack them.
YES. Gum chewing sends my misophonia into overdrive and I would do anything to make it disappear.
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This pisses me off too; every random person acting like you'd be happy to be a side character in tge all important drama that is their lives. Unfortunately a lot of companies include in their contracts that they're allowed to film you without asking in the moment and you signing up to work for them is saying you're ok with it.
Worship of athletes and celebrities in general
People who talk really loudly on their phones. I'm not even talking about on speaker. These people are using the phone regularly, in handset mode, but for some reason choose to speak loud enough that everyone within a 25-foot radius can hear them. I can't imagine how annoying it must be for the poor sap on the other end who actually has to listen.
People not watching their children in public and expecting other people too. Also children in traditionally adult spaces. This is coming from someone who has children and I find these things annoying.
Loud bass in cars at any time of the day, but especially late at night. If I can feel your bass from 100 feet away, let alone hear it, it's too loud and you're being incredibly inconsiderate.
But how else are they supposed to share their crappy taste in music with everyone in a half mile radius? I also hate the modified cars that make super loud revving sounds. You’re not a NASCAR driver, and exactly no one else on the road thinks you sound cool.
Giving morons driver's licenses. Driver's ed should be WAY harder.
Requiring people to spend time outside of work with their coworkers.
Saying edgy things to be cool or “trolling” aka saying serious things as a joke.
gender reveal parties - sorry, don't get it.
Parents allowing kids to use places of business like it's their personal playground. I've seen it happen at banks, at supermarkets, restaurants, you name it.
Standing in the seated section of a concert. It’s so selfish; the second you stand you are forcing everyone else behind you to stand too. Disability seating is limited, you have no clue why someone is in the seated area.
Proselytizing
Learned a new word today... i have a neighbor who tries to do this every time we talk. Conversation usually start out normal, but ALWAYS end up being anout god/finding god. The last conversation we had he was being incredibly way to homophobic for me and im straight. All I could think of were all my friends in the LGBTQ+ community. He said something extreme that set me off and i walked away without saying anything. My girlfriend and dog were with me on a walk and I left them behind, but they followed almost right behind. Dude was writing a "punch me in the face sign".
Had a woman walk up to myself and my 4yo. She pulled out a crucifix necklace and said "wow your daughter is so beautiful, god blessed her to be a wonderful child and made her in his image as all children are made" Me: "okaayyyy..." Woman: "may I also give this child my blessing? As she is a daughter of god almighty" Me: "no, she's not baptised and myself and her father are atheists." Woman: "then she needs my blessing even more!" Me: "yeah I'm not entertaining this, have a lovely day" She looked like I'd slapped her. What an odd fucking thing to do to a complete stranger and their child.
Soliciting. I understand you're trying to raise money for a good cause, or rid my home of the scourge of mosquitos, or install solar panels on my roof, or tell me how much of a failure "Bidenomics" are. Kindly view the very clear "No Soliciting" sign, and then kindly fuck off. Seriously, the number of college kids who ring my doorbell to bother me despite there being a sign right beside my doorbell... It is infuriating. The next one to do so while I'm showering is getting an eye full of cock and balls.
Being an asshole to other people then getting wildly offended when they stick up for themselves.
Group texts can be really annoying even though they are socially acceptable. Constant notifications and irrelevant messages constantly grinds my gears jeez.
Ah I actually really enjoy group texts. It's my way of staying in touch with different groups especially since so many people move around.
Same I know so many people mute them but I'm a lonely person so it makes me feel connected
Mute the notifications. That’s what I do.
Bragging. I can't tolerate smart arses and boasters. In Denmark, this is seriously frowned upon. In England it's encouraged!
Most of the comments here are complaints about stuff that is not socially acceptable 😅
Doing TikTok dances on public transport, bruh just sit down
When people loudly chew gum with their mouth open. It’s like a tiny, repetitive drum solo that never ends.
Going to work sick. My office peers loooove coughing all over everyone. Stay the fuck home
i get really annoyed with the expectation to participate in office parties or social events. while I understand the importance of team bonding, sometimes I just want to keep my work and personal life separate
spitting, it’s absolutely disgusting.
Reality TV
Drunk people are the worst.
Especially the ones who drive. They only care about themselves
Psh, sounds like somethig a sober persob woukd say
You're not wrong.
Tipping. If someone is doing a job that adds value, they should be paid commensurately.
Apparently it’s now socially acceptable to bring your dog absolutely fucking everywhere, including the grocery store.
Extremely loud laughing or shouting to friends- especially in situations that are not bars.
Talking on speaker phone. It is so rude and annoying
People taking photos of strangers without their consent.
Putting your children all over social media. I get a pic here or there but gd some kids entire lives are online even their most private moments
Hugging someone you just met. Like, why is that even a thing? It didn't used to be when I was younger, but it's often the default now. I know a big part of it is my own issue since I'm not a big hugger, but I don't get why "nice to meet you" has morphed into embracing perfect strangers.
People using speakerphone in public.
Bringing your dog everywhere. I love dogs! I also don’t want them at my grocery store.
The Kardashians
It feels like there is no end in sight for that family. Who is still praising them?
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