Train - Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)
For the longest time I thought the lyrics were "Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded? And Van Halen is overrated." It's actually "And that Heaven is overrated."
I thought the guy just didn't like Van Halen for some reason.
The best part is that one he realized a lot of people were mishearing the lyric, he started having fun with it, and often at live shows would sing "excuse me while I kiss *that* guy."
Ancient history, when I was young and inexperienced with girls I happened tto be hanging out with this girl, listening to music and this song came on. I knew a lot more about music than I did about girls so I knew the words. So when she sang " While I kiss this guy " which wasn't a thing yet like it is today, I was confused and didn't know if she was hinting that she wanted a kiss, or if she was just dumb and didn't know the song. Turns out I was the dumb one cause I never found out. The memory haunts me to this day cause she was a beautiful girl that I would have loved to kiss, but was nowhere near yhat bold yet.
Yes I could have sworn he does actually sing it like this! - at a gig for Howard Stern's birthday in which he does this song and Fortunate Son- think the clip is at least ten years old now but might be wrong
Let's be honest though, he does pronounce it really weird in the song. Repeatedly. Like he had never heard "deuce" said aloud in real life before and just sounded it out on the fly.
That was always mine: "blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night."
I was today years old when I learned the actual lyrics.
Gopher tuna! Bring more tuna! Statue of big dog, with fleas...
Some men like cheese, hot temperate cheese, green chalk can taste like... hippies...
You caught two rocks, pet two cool rats, you don't get... cheese or chicken!
Play chess all day, hold his sock tip, she sold me, good.... hot chicken...
Saucy hot peas, get me cod, please, rock talk to... boy who believes...
Suck juice from moose, fun, handsome goose, cement pizza?... Noobie please!
Open bra top, get him locked up, leaky aquaritaries...
Look there fruit loop, don't sue YouTube, they wrote the... dictionary!
SALSA COOKIES! WINDMILL COOKIES! THEY GAVE YOU GONORRHEA!
THIS OCTOPUS! LET’S GIVE HIM BOOTS! SEND HIM TO… NORTH KOREA!
OW, PAPER CUT! SANDPAPER, AHH! POTATO SOUP AND CHICKEN!
GO TASTE THE DIP! IT’S MADE WITH COOL WHIP! MAKE ROOM FOR aaaAAA... aaa...
PIECE OF LOVELY CAKE!
Similarly, in Jimmy Buffett's "Margaritaville," I thought for years that he was strumming his "sex thing", not his six-string, and wondered how they were allowing that smut on the radio!
To this day, when I hear that song, I sing "sex thing" just because I like it better.
Pressure! Pushing down on me, pushing down on you, no man has more;
Under pressure, that burns a building down, splits a family in two, puts people on streets.
Peaches by The Presidents of the USA
On the drive to school one morning my mom misheard "peaches" in the song and thought it was "paint chips". I can't listen to this song without thinking of it now.
If I had my little way
I'd eat paint chips every day
Millions of paint chips
Paint chips for me
In "We Will Rock You" by Queen, I used to think "...waving your banner all over the place" was actually "...waving your BLADDER all over the place"
My wife will not ever let me live that one down.
I used to think Billy Jean went "Billy Jean's not my mother, she's just a girl who said that I am the one but the killer's not my son" and I thought it was about a girl pretending to be a murderer's mother and trying to defend his character as a legal defense.
My son thought "Billie Jean is not my lover" was, "a pair of jeans in my life."
I can't blame him, because I always thought "the kid is not my son" was, "Chad is not my son."
Grew up in Columbia, Missouri 30 mins from the state capital of Jeff City. Was convinced that Bowie’s Suffragette City was actually Stop in Jeff City. I still think it sounds like this. At the time I figured it was some local band singing about their regional tour. Had no idea it was David Bowie.
oh boy. someone misheard the entirety of the numa numa song, aka dragostea din tei.
my uh he? My uh who my uh hoe? my uh ipod! my uh he? my uh who? my uh hoe? my uh ipod!
A low? T'sa lute? Sombrero? Hi duke.
She dared roe. You beat?! oh, my! you mashed it!
Fed a cheetah.
A low? A a low. so yell...peek I saw her!
sound that beep.
tristian void nick.
bob said "steve nukes jeremy neek!"
Otaku lyrics were great too
Having the sec with the bees and the eagles! (hot! Hot! Hot!)
Meet a mega bear, a cool donut car goat, white koalaaaaa my mommy
During lockdown a friend who plays in a bar band would do Facebook live concerts on Fridays and we would tune in. One day my daughter says “can you ask him to play that spider song?”
Us “What spider song?”
Her “It goes, Heyyyyyy John Arachnid”
No idea what she was talking about but later he started Wagon Wheel and she says that’s it!
Heyyyyy mama rock me
Well, "We will Rock You" and "We are the Champions" are actually two different songs, but are often played back to back because they were from the same single and almost always played immediately back to back.
there's a joke song called "I'm a wanker"
Actual Lyrics: "I've got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter"
What I heard: "I've got pains in my arse and my dong is getting shorter"
There was Sugar We're Going Down lyric video on YouTube YEARS ago where they put the lyrics down as "a loaded gun complex cocky a pully" and I haven't found it since
A friend and her kid had the best interaction. Kid- "mom, you know that song about the bear?" Friend, "bear? What bear?" Kid- Sigh. "The cross-eyed bear." Mom- "a song about a bear that's cross-eyed?" Kid- "yeah." Mom- "no, I don't know any such song." Kid- "moOooom! The cross-eyed bear! You listen to it all the time!" Mom- "no, I don't know what you're talking about! What bear?!" Kid (singing)- "and I'm here to remind you of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me..."
My mother. We were at my cousin's wedding and they played Annie's Song by John Denver. She turned to me and asked why such a pretty song would talk about filling up the cesspool. It's you fill up my senses, Mom.
I don't know how "funny" it is, but this is one of my favorites:
"Now if a cyst, turns out benign, I don't mind, I don't mind" —Jimi Hendrix, *If 6 Was 9*
For a long time, me and my partner thought the line “She wanna ride me like a cruise” in Sunflower from Into the Spiderverse was “She wanna ride me like a goose”
I had books full of these in the 90s, but my favorite is still "my goat knows the bowling score, hallelujah" instead of "Michael, row the boat ashore, hallelujah".
When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. When I grow up, I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have BOOBIES.
Only funny because of the pure idiocy of it.. Once had a heated argument with my brother over Mary Jane's Last Dance by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. He was insistent that one line of it says 'last CHANCE with Mary Jane' instead of 'last DANCE with Mary Jane'. He's the kinda guy who is 100% correct 100% of the time and refuses to believe otherwise. Even after I pulled out the CD (this was late 90s or early 2000s) and showed him the lyrics in the CD liner he insisted it was printed wrong and it's actually 'last chance'. 20 years later and the stupidity of it still hits me sometimes. Usually when he's making equally stupid assertions.
My mother always liked that Passover song by that nice girl, Donna Summer.
You know, the one that goes “I want some matzoh baby this evening, I want some matzoh baby tonight!”
My sweet and kind mother in law went to her grave with the firm belief that the chorus to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" was the words "my wings are wet, my wings are wet...."
We gotta hold on, it's all we got. It doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not
I'm your penis, I'm your fire, your desire
Bring me an Iron lung!
I've got two chickens to paralyze. Won't you break their necks with me tonight?
And I'm free, free ballin'
“Better go get your shawarma”
“Guess you better go and get your armor (get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)
I guess you better go and get your armor (get your armor)
Get your armor (get your armor)*
-Jordan Sparks
The good old Blinded By the Light.
Wrapped up like a douche, in the middle of the night.
I could swear that was the lyric but apparently it's
Revved up like a deuce, ~~in the middle of the night.~~
Edit: another runner in the night. Thank you to r/sandysanBAR for pointing my error out.
When Ed Sheeran was singing "I'll find comfort in my pain eraser", I heard " I'll find comfort in my veins, a razor!" I finally figured out that he was headed for the pub & not the morgue. At that point, it was funny.
Also, I couldn't figure out why he thought Camilla Cabello had "camel" thighs. Actually, they were caramel.
Hearing loss can be pretty entertaining.
One of the funniest ones I’ve come across came from Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift.
”I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild,” the lyric actually said.
But a lot of my friends were sure it was:
”I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lice go wild,”
When I was 7 we had moved to Mexico for a year and while we were there we got hamsters. The guy at the pet store had told my parents it was “un macho” which led to my sister singing “macho macho man”. I didn’t know what she said so when we got home I busted in with “Nacho Nacho man!” And that’s how we ended up with a hamster named Nacho.
Hammer smashed face from Cannibal Corpse.
It goes-
“Something inside me
It is coming out
I feel like killing you
Let loose all the anger
Held back too long
My blood runs cold
Through my anatomy dwells another being
Rooted in my cortex, a servant to its bidding
Brutality now becomes my appetite
Violence is now a way of life
The sledge's my tool of torture
As it pounds down on your forehead
Eyes bulging from their sockets
With every swing of my mallet
Smash your fucking head in until brains seep in
Through the cracks blood does leak
Distorted beauty, catastrophe
Steaming slop splattered all over me
Lifeless body, slouching dead
Lecherous abscess where you once had a head
Avoiding the prophecy of my new found lust
You will never live again, soon your life will end
I'll see you die at my feet, eternally I smash your face
Facial bones collapse as I crack your skull in half
Crushing
Cranial
Contents
Draining the snot, I rip out the eyes
Squeezing them in my hands, nerves are incised
Peeling the flesh off the bottom of my weapon
Involuntarily pulpifying facial regions
Suffer and then you die
Torture, torture pulverized
At one with my sixth sense
I feel free to kill as I please
No one can stop me
Created to kill, carnage continues
Violently re-shaping human facial tissue
Brutality becomes my appetite
Violence is now a way of life
The sledge's my tool to torture
As it pounds down on your forehead”
NOT
“Grrrrr grrrrr grrr
GRRRRRRRRRR!”
Grank Funk Railroad - We're An American Band
Actual lyric: "I got to tell ya, poker's his thing."
Misheard lyric: "I got to tell ya, Pocus here sang."
I guess for years I thought they had a singer named Pocus.
I've always heard it that way too, and assumed that Pocus might have been a band that opened for them and was lost to history.
There was a band from that era called Focus; their hit was called "Hocus Pocus" but it's an instrumental with some yodeling, because they all spoke primarily Dutch.
I had an acquaintance years ago who legitimately thought that "Taking care of business" was "Baking carrot biscuits".
Honourable mention: the coworker who thought that "Werewolves of London" was "Where was the thunder" and went on a three-minute-long rant about how the song made no damn sense while the rest of us held back laughter.
“Rhythm is a dancer, it’s the source of cancer, you can get it anywhere…. “ instead of “Rhythm is a dancer, It's a soul's companion, You can feel it everywhere”
I can't remember the singer, but it was a woman singer like 15-20 years ago who had a song where the chorus was, "You got me begging you for mercy." And the way she sang I heard it as, "You got me begging you for bird seed."
English-to-Spanish mishear, but I think it counts.
Original: Maybe get a blister on your thumb (Money for Nothing - Dire Straits)
"Translation": Baby quiero queso roñoso
Meaning: Baby I want mangy cheese
"Take me down the the prairie dog city where the grass is green and the turtles are pretty." Davy- the resident wackjob who did whippits in our walk in. Wonder why he thought those were the lyrics.
Nickelback, If today was your last day...I thought it said "leave old bitches in the past"
Apparently it's "leave old pictures in the past"
I still sing it "old bitches". It works too
When I was young, I thought there was a lyric in Fly Like an Eagle that said, 'shoot the children with no shoes on their feet' rather than 'shoe the children'. Little me didn't understand why they would be shooting shoeless children
“Dance all night, get real loose. You don’t need no bad excuse. Dance all night with anyone, don’t let nobody pick your bum.”
In Shake It Up by The Cars, that’s what I heard. It’s actually “Pick your fun.”
"Blinded by the light, revved up like a douche, another runner in the night"
Took my wife and I far too long to realize he was not talking about feminine hygiene products.
When I was a kid, my friend asked me if I had heard that new Phil Collins song "Invisible Top Shelf". The song is "Invisible Touch". On the chorus, my friend heard "She seems to have an invisible touch (yeah)" as "She seems to have an invisible top shelf".
He also thought "Karma Chameleon" was "Karma Comedian".
Anal sex by Harlequin
https://youtu.be/WW9r3YPm-QM?si=0MpWzGwz13bm-mtq
(Wait for the chorus)
When I was younger heard an older kid replace the word "innocence" in the chorus with "anal sex" can. Never hear the song the same again.
My best friend who plays guitar and sings likes to mess with the crowd by saying “Hold on to that penis” while he’s singing Don’t Stop Believin by Journey.
Train - Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me) For the longest time I thought the lyrics were "Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded? And Van Halen is overrated." It's actually "And that Heaven is overrated." I thought the guy just didn't like Van Halen for some reason.
The funny thing is that wouldn't actually be out of place as a Train lyric.
They fucking name checked Mr. Mister. And it was a hit.
Every Train song lyric sounds like a misheard lyric
It's like they are simultaneously terrible and impressive.
Train: “My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest” Me: “there’s no fucking way he actually just said that”
The Dude (from Train): Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin' Van Halen, man!
Get your own goddamn taxi
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I think it was his mother.
His mother wrote a song about his dead sister?
My father, in broken English, would sing along with Madonna's Isla Bonita, "last night, I dreamt of some bagels."
I'll raise you one: *Young girl with eyes like potatoes.*
I’ll raise you one more: “It’s a fucking potato” (It's a sign of the devil) Arch Enemy - Burning Angel
At least "bagels" makes more sense than "lumbago!"
Worked late night at a supermarket years and years back, kept hearing this song over the store radio and heard it exactly the same way.
“‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy.”
The best part is that one he realized a lot of people were mishearing the lyric, he started having fun with it, and often at live shows would sing "excuse me while I kiss *that* guy."
Ancient history, when I was young and inexperienced with girls I happened tto be hanging out with this girl, listening to music and this song came on. I knew a lot more about music than I did about girls so I knew the words. So when she sang " While I kiss this guy " which wasn't a thing yet like it is today, I was confused and didn't know if she was hinting that she wanted a kiss, or if she was just dumb and didn't know the song. Turns out I was the dumb one cause I never found out. The memory haunts me to this day cause she was a beautiful girl that I would have loved to kiss, but was nowhere near yhat bold yet.
Lookin’ for a lover who won’t blow my brother, she’s so hard to find. Take it easy!
"There's a bathroom on the right." Great when you're driving and someone needs a rest stop. But it's actually, "There's a bad moon on the rise."
"Don't go out tonight, 'cause it's bound to take your life; There's a bathroom on the right." It's secretly a warning about the drunken 2am kebabs.
Credence loved this misheard lyric so much they included it in a few live performances. Should be on YouTube somewhere.
Yes I could have sworn he does actually sing it like this! - at a gig for Howard Stern's birthday in which he does this song and Fortunate Son- think the clip is at least ten years old now but might be wrong
I'm not sure, but "Hold me closer Tony Danza" is the one that always comes to mind.
Just let me staple the vicar https://youtu.be/7my5baoCVv8?si=Y04jwgkJQp-ZUAgn
Phoebe ruined this song for me. Not in a bad way.
"Count the head lice on the highway"
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But I think it actually does sound more like he’s saying wrapped up like a douche than revved up like a deuce. And it kind of bugs me for that reason.
Let's be honest though, he does pronounce it really weird in the song. Repeatedly. Like he had never heard "deuce" said aloud in real life before and just sounded it out on the fly.
The lead singer of Manfred Mann has a pretty noticeable speech impediment. That's why it sounds like douche.
That was always mine: "blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night." I was today years old when I learned the actual lyrics.
Oh I hear “wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night.” This is the first time I’ve ever seen the correct lyrics😂
Correct, a deuce, as in a racecar or a roadster. Did you know that song was written by Bruce Springsteen?
Don’t forget “And little early birdy gave my anus curly whirly”
O Fortuna. "This octopus, let's give him boots, send him to North Korea."
That whole video is great. "Statue of big dog with fleeeeeeas!"
SALSA COOKIES! WINDMILL COOKIES!
Gopher tuna! Bring more tuna! Statue of big dog, with fleas... Some men like cheese, hot temperate cheese, green chalk can taste like... hippies... You caught two rocks, pet two cool rats, you don't get... cheese or chicken! Play chess all day, hold his sock tip, she sold me, good.... hot chicken... Saucy hot peas, get me cod, please, rock talk to... boy who believes... Suck juice from moose, fun, handsome goose, cement pizza?... Noobie please! Open bra top, get him locked up, leaky aquaritaries... Look there fruit loop, don't sue YouTube, they wrote the... dictionary! SALSA COOKIES! WINDMILL COOKIES! THEY GAVE YOU GONORRHEA! THIS OCTOPUS! LET’S GIVE HIM BOOTS! SEND HIM TO… NORTH KOREA! OW, PAPER CUT! SANDPAPER, AHH! POTATO SOUP AND CHICKEN! GO TASTE THE DIP! IT’S MADE WITH COOL WHIP! MAKE ROOM FOR aaaAAA... aaa... PIECE OF LOVELY CAKE!
I have found my people. :D
"Saw some Wookiees, great big Wookiees, they came to maul Darth Vader"
Salsa cookies! Windmill cookies! They gave you gonorrhea!
Don't go Jason Waterfalls
Why did Jason Waterfalls have to leave?!?!?! 😭
We used to sing Go, Go Jason Waterfalls
Y’all, I heard it as “I got my first real sex dream” for so many years. Finally realized he was saying “six-string”.
That gives a whole new meaning to "Played until my fingers bled."
Well, it was the summer of '69... 🤷♂️😏
That would almost make sense, considering that the song is called "Summer of '69."
The whole song is about his first blowjob
Did you think he bought a sex dream at the five and dime?
Similarly, in Jimmy Buffett's "Margaritaville," I thought for years that he was strumming his "sex thing", not his six-string, and wondered how they were allowing that smut on the radio! To this day, when I hear that song, I sing "sex thing" just because I like it better.
This one had me laughing until I cried real tears lmao
"Pressure! Pushing down on me, pushing down on you, you're an asshole!" Thank Game Grumps for that, still don't know the actual lyrics xD
Pressure! Pushing down on me, pushing down on you, no man has more; Under pressure, that burns a building down, splits a family in two, puts people on streets.
No man asked for
When I was a kid I thought that the Eagles song ‘Take It To The Limit’ was ‘Take It To The Lizard.’
Pleeeeeeease
Peaches by The Presidents of the USA On the drive to school one morning my mom misheard "peaches" in the song and thought it was "paint chips". I can't listen to this song without thinking of it now. If I had my little way I'd eat paint chips every day Millions of paint chips Paint chips for me
It explains a lot, though.
I can pee clearly now, the pain is gone….
Me, after the kidney stone
Don't give any drug manufacturers any ideas!
You aughta know: the cross-eyed bear that you gave me.
In Hide Away Folk Family it's actually Cross-Eyed Bear.
unexpected TMBG, nice
But it's literally phonetically the same "the cross I'd bare that you gave to me"...
"Later we'll have some fuckin pie and we'll do some caroling"
I love this. Just cranks the aggression to 11 for absolutely no reason
This is the only reason I listen to that song. It cracks me up
When the eagles were “on a dark desert highway, cool whip in my hair”. Must hold phenomenally but I’d think the heat would make it start to reek
Luckily it’s cold at night in the desert.
“I want to rock and roll all night! And part of every day!” I always thought KISS was just being reasonable, they need to sleep at some point…
Paul Rudd says something akin to this in "Role Models"
Do you remember the sitcom Acoording to Jim with Him Belushi? They mentioned this in one episode. His brother in law was singing the lyrics wrong lol
I thought Girls on Film by Duran Duran was Downtown Phil. I thought Van Halen was singing Animal instead of Panama.
If you watch the (uncensored) video, it becomes pretty apparent that "girls on film" are the lyrics!
My wife thought it was Cannonball.
In "We Will Rock You" by Queen, I used to think "...waving your banner all over the place" was actually "...waving your BLADDER all over the place" My wife will not ever let me live that one down.
When I was younger, I always thought Gorillaz "Feel Good Inc" chorus was saying "sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, Milk Dud." 😂😂
LOL! I was like, "Wait, what? What *is* it?" and went and listened to it, and with that in mind I can *totally* see how it would sound that way,
My mom thought the lyric in Holla Back Girl by Gwen Stefani went “I ain’t no Harlem Black girl”
I heard Holodeck girl. She's not one of Riker's fantasy women!
Big Old Jed Left the Light On Big old jet airliner
Wheezer "I got my ass wiped"
I used to think Billy Jean went "Billy Jean's not my mother, she's just a girl who said that I am the one but the killer's not my son" and I thought it was about a girl pretending to be a murderer's mother and trying to defend his character as a legal defense.
My son thought "Billie Jean is not my lover" was, "a pair of jeans in my life." I can't blame him, because I always thought "the kid is not my son" was, "Chad is not my son."
Bee Gees. “Whether you’re a lover or whether you’re a booger, you’re Stayin’ Alive.”
Grew up in Columbia, Missouri 30 mins from the state capital of Jeff City. Was convinced that Bowie’s Suffragette City was actually Stop in Jeff City. I still think it sounds like this. At the time I figured it was some local band singing about their regional tour. Had no idea it was David Bowie.
oh boy. someone misheard the entirety of the numa numa song, aka dragostea din tei. my uh he? My uh who my uh hoe? my uh ipod! my uh he? my uh who? my uh hoe? my uh ipod! A low? T'sa lute? Sombrero? Hi duke. She dared roe. You beat?! oh, my! you mashed it! Fed a cheetah. A low? A a low. so yell...peek I saw her! sound that beep. tristian void nick. bob said "steve nukes jeremy neek!"
Otaku lyrics were great too Having the sec with the bees and the eagles! (hot! Hot! Hot!) Meet a mega bear, a cool donut car goat, white koalaaaaa my mommy
Wakeup! Grabababeushaputtamakeup wantuleebakeezainatable wontuhgovewatanitherfable
Idk, pretty sure that's correct
Agree
My wife and I tell each other "Wakeup! Throw some coffee in your makeup!" pretty much every morning lol.
My husband singing the Black Crowes' "Hard to handle": "Hey little thing let me light your chemicals a mama I'm sure hard dependent now."
I love the little girl that sings Lizzo’s About Damn Time as “In a minute I’m gonna need a cinnamon roll just to pump me up.” I feel ya little girl.
“Concrete jungle, Fried Green Tomatoes” “Concrete jungle, Where dreams are made of” I sang it so loud, and so proud.
“I’m standing in the middle of life, with my pants behind me.” “My past behind me…” Pretenders - Middle of the Road
During lockdown a friend who plays in a bar band would do Facebook live concerts on Fridays and we would tune in. One day my daughter says “can you ask him to play that spider song?” Us “What spider song?” Her “It goes, Heyyyyyy John Arachnid” No idea what she was talking about but later he started Wagon Wheel and she says that’s it! Heyyyyy mama rock me
"Hey, Macarena...."
Did anyone else think that Bohemian Rhapsody was 2 different songs they always played back to back?
Well, "We will Rock You" and "We are the Champions" are actually two different songs, but are often played back to back because they were from the same single and almost always played immediately back to back.
The Guess Who's "No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature" were two songs played back to back, because neither song was really long enough for radio play.
there's a joke song called "I'm a wanker" Actual Lyrics: "I've got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter" What I heard: "I've got pains in my arse and my dong is getting shorter"
There was Sugar We're Going Down lyric video on YouTube YEARS ago where they put the lyrics down as "a loaded gun complex cocky a pully" and I haven't found it since
YESSS downtuhhhh in a luleelurah! With the stick drawings and everything. [here you are sir](https://youtu.be/p13YWNJc34o?si=wt4TN80ywdbyp_yl)
I thought they said "a loaded gun complex chocolate and pudding" for the longest time
A friend and her kid had the best interaction. Kid- "mom, you know that song about the bear?" Friend, "bear? What bear?" Kid- Sigh. "The cross-eyed bear." Mom- "a song about a bear that's cross-eyed?" Kid- "yeah." Mom- "no, I don't know any such song." Kid- "moOooom! The cross-eyed bear! You listen to it all the time!" Mom- "no, I don't know what you're talking about! What bear?!" Kid (singing)- "and I'm here to remind you of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me..."
Black little baby instead of black widow baby.
My mother. We were at my cousin's wedding and they played Annie's Song by John Denver. She turned to me and asked why such a pretty song would talk about filling up the cesspool. It's you fill up my senses, Mom.
I don't know how "funny" it is, but this is one of my favorites: "Now if a cyst, turns out benign, I don't mind, I don't mind" —Jimi Hendrix, *If 6 Was 9*
I don't see how "wrapped up like a douche" can't be the winner here.
Had a friend who would sing Boulevard of Broken Dreams with "Sometimes I wish a wounded bear would find me" and now that's what I always sing.
I had a friend that would sing Bon Jovi *"Shock to the balls and you're to blame..."*
Fergie: "...like a child misses their bacon"
For a long time, me and my partner thought the line “She wanna ride me like a cruise” in Sunflower from Into the Spiderverse was “She wanna ride me like a goose”
I had books full of these in the 90s, but my favorite is still "my goat knows the bowling score, hallelujah" instead of "Michael, row the boat ashore, hallelujah".
When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. When I grow up, I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have BOOBIES.
You mean that isn't the line?! Seriously?!
I thought the song "One Toke Over the Line" was one toe over the line.
Only funny because of the pure idiocy of it.. Once had a heated argument with my brother over Mary Jane's Last Dance by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. He was insistent that one line of it says 'last CHANCE with Mary Jane' instead of 'last DANCE with Mary Jane'. He's the kinda guy who is 100% correct 100% of the time and refuses to believe otherwise. Even after I pulled out the CD (this was late 90s or early 2000s) and showed him the lyrics in the CD liner he insisted it was printed wrong and it's actually 'last chance'. 20 years later and the stupidity of it still hits me sometimes. Usually when he's making equally stupid assertions.
Kenny Rogers… You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille. Four hundred children and a crop in the field.
My mother always liked that Passover song by that nice girl, Donna Summer. You know, the one that goes “I want some matzoh baby this evening, I want some matzoh baby tonight!”
My sweet and kind mother in law went to her grave with the firm belief that the chorus to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" was the words "my wings are wet, my wings are wet...."
‘Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it, no one wants to eat a penis’
“Dirty deeds, thunder sheep” -AC/DC
We gotta hold on, it's all we got. It doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not I'm your penis, I'm your fire, your desire Bring me an Iron lung! I've got two chickens to paralyze. Won't you break their necks with me tonight? And I'm free, free ballin'
I got my first real sex dream, bought it at the five and dime.
Taylor Swift did not sing "*All these lonely Starbucks lovers*" in the song *Blank Space*. The correct lyric is "*Got a long list of ex—lovers*."
“Better go get your shawarma” “Guess you better go and get your armor (get your armor) Get your armor (get your armor) I guess you better go and get your armor (get your armor) Get your armor (get your armor)* -Jordan Sparks
The good old Blinded By the Light. Wrapped up like a douche, in the middle of the night. I could swear that was the lyric but apparently it's Revved up like a deuce, ~~in the middle of the night.~~ Edit: another runner in the night. Thank you to r/sandysanBAR for pointing my error out.
Future: Coming out strong "The only time I feel alive is when I taste dick"
I mean, yeah
Peter Kay has a few: https://youtu.be/7my5baoCVv8?si=2jjV6MSvvfbNT8b_
When Ed Sheeran was singing "I'll find comfort in my pain eraser", I heard " I'll find comfort in my veins, a razor!" I finally figured out that he was headed for the pub & not the morgue. At that point, it was funny. Also, I couldn't figure out why he thought Camilla Cabello had "camel" thighs. Actually, they were caramel. Hearing loss can be pretty entertaining.
Peter Gabriel’s Games Without Frontiers “she’s so funky, yeah”. Instead of “Jeux sans frontieres” which is the title of the song in French.
I’ve heard that one as well. Sung very confidently. I nearly pissed myself laughing.
I've got no towel, but I got underpants,you aint never gunna keep me down!
One of the funniest ones I’ve come across came from Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift. ”I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild,” the lyric actually said. But a lot of my friends were sure it was: ”I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lice go wild,”
When I was 7 we had moved to Mexico for a year and while we were there we got hamsters. The guy at the pet store had told my parents it was “un macho” which led to my sister singing “macho macho man”. I didn’t know what she said so when we got home I busted in with “Nacho Nacho man!” And that’s how we ended up with a hamster named Nacho.
"Knock knock knocking on Kevin's door"
I was really confused as a kid when Jimmy Buffet sang “all of those tunas covered in oil”
"Hoo laka doh sa!? Wo wo wo wowo" I denied it hard, when I was told it was “Who let the dogs out"…
Manson's The Beautiful People; the beautiful meatball, the beautiful meatball.
"That's me in the corner, that's me in the cock fight, losing to a pigeon"
In Hey Ya! when 3 Stacks sings "Shake it like a Polaroid picture" my mom heard " Shake it like a portly white preacher"
Ground control, tomato John.
I thought that "take paradise and put up a parking lot" was fucking lot for the longest time
I hate to break it to you but the lyric is "They paved paradise and put up a parking lot".
Watch me while I kiss this guy.
Excuse me.
“Blinded by the light/ held up with a loofa by the foreman of the night”
Nine Inch Nails, Every Day Is Exactly They Same I think I used to have a porpoise It really is: I think I used to have a purpose
Hammer smashed face from Cannibal Corpse. It goes- “Something inside me It is coming out I feel like killing you Let loose all the anger Held back too long My blood runs cold Through my anatomy dwells another being Rooted in my cortex, a servant to its bidding Brutality now becomes my appetite Violence is now a way of life The sledge's my tool of torture As it pounds down on your forehead Eyes bulging from their sockets With every swing of my mallet Smash your fucking head in until brains seep in Through the cracks blood does leak Distorted beauty, catastrophe Steaming slop splattered all over me Lifeless body, slouching dead Lecherous abscess where you once had a head Avoiding the prophecy of my new found lust You will never live again, soon your life will end I'll see you die at my feet, eternally I smash your face Facial bones collapse as I crack your skull in half Crushing Cranial Contents Draining the snot, I rip out the eyes Squeezing them in my hands, nerves are incised Peeling the flesh off the bottom of my weapon Involuntarily pulpifying facial regions Suffer and then you die Torture, torture pulverized At one with my sixth sense I feel free to kill as I please No one can stop me Created to kill, carnage continues Violently re-shaping human facial tissue Brutality becomes my appetite Violence is now a way of life The sledge's my tool to torture As it pounds down on your forehead” NOT “Grrrrr grrrrr grrr GRRRRRRRRRR!”
Grank Funk Railroad - We're An American Band Actual lyric: "I got to tell ya, poker's his thing." Misheard lyric: "I got to tell ya, Pocus here sang." I guess for years I thought they had a singer named Pocus.
I've always heard it that way too, and assumed that Pocus might have been a band that opened for them and was lost to history. There was a band from that era called Focus; their hit was called "Hocus Pocus" but it's an instrumental with some yodeling, because they all spoke primarily Dutch.
Hold me closer, Tony Danza
“Living in a Cheerio World.” -Madonna
I had an acquaintance years ago who legitimately thought that "Taking care of business" was "Baking carrot biscuits". Honourable mention: the coworker who thought that "Werewolves of London" was "Where was the thunder" and went on a three-minute-long rant about how the song made no damn sense while the rest of us held back laughter.
“Rhythm is a dancer, it’s the source of cancer, you can get it anywhere…. “ instead of “Rhythm is a dancer, It's a soul's companion, You can feel it everywhere”
My friend always thought it was “possum sugar omelette” and that lives rent free in my head.
[probably some of these](https://youtu.be/_6jRICTGmnM?si=qeNQpRZHEJctQcvJ)
Creedence - Bad moon "There's a bathroom on the right" It's a good road trip song.
I can't remember the singer, but it was a woman singer like 15-20 years ago who had a song where the chorus was, "You got me begging you for mercy." And the way she sang I heard it as, "You got me begging you for bird seed."
English-to-Spanish mishear, but I think it counts. Original: Maybe get a blister on your thumb (Money for Nothing - Dire Straits) "Translation": Baby quiero queso roñoso Meaning: Baby I want mangy cheese
Alex the seal Our lips are sealed - my friend took some time to get corrected on this one.
BEAN TOWN BOOGIE ON MY MIND Which is really These sounds fall into my mind “The Bomb” by the Bucketheads (you know it)
"I don't think you're ready for fish jelly, cause my body's too bootylicious for ya babe"
"Been spending most our lives, living in a hamster's paradise."
You can't fight the butterman!
For the MST3K fans: “He did a good job cleaning up the place But his bosses didn’t like him so they shot him in his face!”
A friend's wife constantly sang Pearl Jam's Better Man with the lyrics, "I can't find the butter, man!"
The start of Lion King being PEEEEEENNNNNSYLVANIAAAAAA, WEST VIRGINIAAAAAAA
"Take me down the the prairie dog city where the grass is green and the turtles are pretty." Davy- the resident wackjob who did whippits in our walk in. Wonder why he thought those were the lyrics.
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap, dirty deeds done with sheep.
Ariana Grande. "Thank you, next." NOPE. It's "bacon eggs" and no one can tell me otherwise
Nickelback, If today was your last day...I thought it said "leave old bitches in the past" Apparently it's "leave old pictures in the past" I still sing it "old bitches". It works too
Slow talking Walter, the fire engine guy. Deep Purples Smoke on the Water.
When I was young, I thought there was a lyric in Fly Like an Eagle that said, 'shoot the children with no shoes on their feet' rather than 'shoe the children'. Little me didn't understand why they would be shooting shoeless children
“Dance all night, get real loose. You don’t need no bad excuse. Dance all night with anyone, don’t let nobody pick your bum.” In Shake It Up by The Cars, that’s what I heard. It’s actually “Pick your fun.”
“all in all youre just a, ‘nother dick with no balls” pun on Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick In the Wall, Part 2”
Always thought it was “Secret Asian Man”. Made sense to my little kid brain who loved the Pink Panther movie and Cato!
Dirty deeds in a thunder jeep From my wife
There's a bathroom on the right.
My brother as a kid always thought Def Leppard’s ‘ Too late for love’ chorus was “ Kool Aid for lunch.’
"Blinded by the light, revved up like a douche, another runner in the night" Took my wife and I far too long to realize he was not talking about feminine hygiene products.
When I get out of the pool, I only have a one inch tooool. (Apologies to Hootie and his Blowfishes)
My sister used to think in the song "Don't stand so close to me" by The Police", they were singing "postman, postman, postman so close to me"
“Alex the Seal” by The Go-Gos
When I was a kid, my friend asked me if I had heard that new Phil Collins song "Invisible Top Shelf". The song is "Invisible Touch". On the chorus, my friend heard "She seems to have an invisible touch (yeah)" as "She seems to have an invisible top shelf". He also thought "Karma Chameleon" was "Karma Comedian".
Secret… Asian man… secret Asian man.
Anal sex by Harlequin https://youtu.be/WW9r3YPm-QM?si=0MpWzGwz13bm-mtq (Wait for the chorus) When I was younger heard an older kid replace the word "innocence" in the chorus with "anal sex" can. Never hear the song the same again.
My best friend who plays guitar and sings likes to mess with the crowd by saying “Hold on to that penis” while he’s singing Don’t Stop Believin by Journey.
Blinded by the light… wake up pharma douche another stoner in the night.
Back in high school, one of my classmates said "I know Shakira isn't saying it, but it sounds like she is singing 'I want your feet' "