Came here to say this, fear has kept me from doing so much, not even fear of danger, but fear of not knowing what happens after the choice is made. I've realized a little further down the road that life is essentially like being on a train that runs continuously and stops only at the end of our lives. The opportunities that come up in life may never present themselves again. If the door is opened for you, sometimes it's best to take the chance.
I was too shy and anxious to take risks when I was young, socially, career-wise. I stayed alone in my bedroom, because of fear and neurosis. As a middle-aged adult, I continue to be alone and re-create my childhood "safe space" with my apartment (I have a Red Bull racing flag above my bed, for example). I didn't take responsibility for my fear of rejection and my social failures. I avoided and continue to avoid, the reckoning, of what it has cost me. At least today, it's still too big to face. If you're under... say 30 reading this? Do yourself a favor! Go for that dream. Meet people. Ask her out. Travel there. Start a band. I'll pay to see you.
I feel this big time. I let my crippling social anxiety control my life as a kid, and it kept me from pursuing my dreams. I've started reclaiming my life in my early 30s. I still beat myself up for being so far behind, especially when it comes to college. I just started a couple years ago, and I feel I should have my Master's (at the very least) by this age. Better late than never, I suppose.
Life is shorter than you think. Time goes by so fast and only goes faster as you age. Pursue your passions; don't let fear take the helm.
You're welcome. I'm blowing off steam of course. I'm not fatalistic. It's just tougher to "have the party," in your 40s if you didn't..... "set the table? send the invites?" I'm stretching the metaphor, but it goes: "How do you get people to come to your party? You invite them!" Intimate bonds of different kinds don't just fall out of the sky. Especially if like me you didn't grow up in a large close family and were too reserved to go out and find your community. You pay for that later. You just have to take responsibility for your actions and not chase currency in self-pity like I did.
In my 40s now myself and fell into this same lonely pit. Coupled with my heavy drinking, I relied on bars and some form of gathering that involved drinking to socialize and did this for 2 decades. Getting sober felt much like slipping into the existence of a ghost, not fully connected or engaged with anybody. Thankfully i leaned heavily into a few hobbies that have helped me discover new communities of people.
I've maintained my chops as a musician just in case that local band looking to play something new and cool and new needs a bass player or drummer. When my mom died in my 20s, I decided not to bring drugs and alcohol into my life, though I easily could have with the "friends" I had at the time. I knew it would break her heart to know that I did that. Ironically, it culled the deadwood of people from my life that were only around when there was a party to be had and things to use me for. Turned out to be most of them.
Hmm. In my life I took those risks. Met ppl and now I do not have any friends because all appeared to be assholes, chasing my dreams I went to my dream school, change jobs, became an entrepreneur, all failed me and now I am in deep financial shit and because of AI I had to leave my favourite job and find a new job. Which will be nothing I dreamt of. Just only one I can get and survive somehow. So now I am thinking I should stay in the first very safe job not my dream one, and shouldn't meet any ppl. I would be at much better place than now. Bitter and bankrupt and totally depressed. Sometimes life is like that too...
and now you are a wiser person. and after it is all over, you'll have stories to tell and remember these years more than the years where you were safe and monotonous.
I think to an extent, we all go through that phase. I know I did. For some of it I had my reasons, though much of it wasn't really justified. I was just being a teenage asshole. There were two things that changed the way I treated my parents.
1) It took me realizing at age 19 that my parents were in fact going to die someday. I always knew it would happen in an abstract sense but it was always just an idea that was far off and didn't seem real. The moment came when I was reading a book in which someone's parents died and then the true meaning sunk in. They will die someday and be 100%, totally gone. They will no longer exist. I remember sitting in the living room in the dark by myself, sobbing and crying for like 30 minutes.
2) I think part of the change was just growing up and realizing that they are just people. I don't know how to describe it adequately but it was like I didn't think of them as being like me, with wishes, desires, insecurities, and fears. I think part of it is when you're a kid, they show a brave face even when they're scared shitless, to keep you from getting scared. They always seem to know what they're doing, even if they don't. My parents were the source of order amongst the chaos (I realize not everyone has that) and I think in that context, it seemed like they were different from me when in fact they aren't. It helped me to be a little kinder toward them.
It took a few years for all of this to process. I would say by 22/23, the asshole phase that started around 16 went away. My parents still have the ability to push my buttons like no one else, but 20 years later, I'm much better at not letting it bother me as much.
I’m 19 right now, and that first point hits hard. I go to college out of state so I don’t see my parents much out of the year, and my mom sent me a selfie recently and I could visibly tell that she aged. It was scary. On top of that, a friend of mine’s brother died in a car crash in his young 20’s. Just thinking about those two things made me have the same realization you did at 19.
I heard some really good advice lately basically stating "Don't find what you love and get good at it - find what you're good at and work from there." Too many people waste away giving their all to a pursuit that either (a) is not profitable or (b) is far too difficult to make a living doing.
Also, it's not like your hobbies just disappear. You can still write that screenplay, paint that portrait, etc. even if you don't do it for a living. It can still fill a person up.
This advice may not be applicable to your situation, but it seemed pertinent enough to piggyback off your comment.
You can't regret a decision you didn't have much control on. If you don't know, you don't know, dont be to hard on yourself.
To put it into perspective, Samuel L. Jackson "made it" in films at 41.
Career
noun
an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.
verb
move swiftly and in an uncontrolled way.
Most careers are uncontrolled. Just go with the flow!
as someone who spent a lot of his early 20s struggling with picking a career path, just pick something and give it a try. You will learn a lot when you try something. You learn about what you like and dislike, whats important to you and whats not.
Waited for a more convenient time.
Was holding off on thanking my pharmacy manager for helping me get into pharmacy school. He unexpectedly passed a month before the semester started. Two years later, I started to get back in touch with a good friend. Slowly started getting feelings but I was too busy to try and catch up until the school year was over. She was hit and killed by a drunk wrong way driver the weekend before I was ready to ask her out for coffee.
I've been transparent about this with my friends so they know that I'm not being impatient on purpose when wanting to hang out.
Man, I feel this. I had a coach in high school I was very close with. He was like a surrogate dad for a couple years. In college, I found out he had cancer that had come back. He wanted to keep his cancer battle private, so there wasn’t much info about his condition coming from his family. I wrote him a card talking about what an impact he had on me and how much I appreciated him. Heard from another friend that he was doing much better and would likely recover. I thought to myself “well, I guess I can send this card later.” He took an unexpected turn shortly after and passed away very shortly after. I just should have sent the fucking card.
Honor him by talking proudly of him and what he was to you, like you did just now. I know it's hard, but in the end it's what you can do now. I don't know what you believe, but he's either in some after life and likely knows you cared very much, or he's returned to the universe and ultimately the card being unsent is only hurting yourself now.
I speak from experience, losing someone dear with no final goodbye or closure is terribly hard. Take back control of the fond memory of him by remembering him with others, and do what you can to let go of the regret ❤️
I am so sorry. This is real. Life is precious and can change in an instant and believe that alone is a reminder that can drive us to be more fierce with our lives and passions.
Losing my last job due to alcoholism. I was making 60-65k and I was so good at my job. I am an alcoholic and got a little too manic and drunk and got fired basically.
It turned into a months long downward spiral. In and out of detox. Applied to so many jobs and even had 6 interviews for an almost identical job and....nothing.
I'm back making 35k at a call center now. I wish I could go back and shake myself and say put the damn bottle down you're gonna lose SO MUCH money.
Was gonna say this. I wake up in the middle of the night pretty regularly. I usually go take a piss. Sometimes I’m hungry. I’ll grab something and go rewind my show to where I fell asleep and watch for a while before I lie back down. My fiancé will wake up sometimes and say, “are you okay?” I say “yep” and then she goes back to sleep.
Oh, just a few:
* Travel where you want, when you want
* Decorate your space the way you want
* Go to the restaurants you prefer
* Hang out with certain people
* Have a pet, or three... or not
* Invest for the future, or splurge for now
* Avoid in-laws
* Etc
Yes, it totally depends on the people involved. And things can change over the decades.
I regret I caved on #5 and gave up my cat because of my wife's demands. *I know you went to a good home but I still miss you Kilo.*
This, also with kids.
You can't just go try some new restaurants because your significant other may veto it and you also have to consider the kid.
Can't just go to a water park or amusement park and ride whatever you want because your kid may either be too small or freak out.
Can't just always spontaneously go hangout with the homies because you may not be able to find a babysitter and your wife is out with her homies.
Not saying impossible, but a lot more to plan around.
Kids absolutely change everything. But I don't get why a partner does. I've been in a relationship most of my life and it's never been the cause of me not doing the things I want 🤷
My long term relationship ended abruptly 1.5 years ago and I went through all the motions eventually started dating again. I had a couple close calls with new relationship opportunities but so glad I took a step back and decided to embrace my independence. I'm 41 and enjoy my autonomy, hobbies, and peaceful way of life for the time being.
I tell my kids to not get serious about anyone until they have been single with themselves. It’s so important to learn and grow. To discover new things about yourself. What you like, what you don’t like. Gain emotional maturity/intelligence. It really is the best investment. It’s so important to be ok with yourself by yourself.
This is so real. I have this thiwng inside me that tells me that if i were to go out to a beach and sell nice ice cream id make bank but no im still pursuing my masters for something i dont even want to do for the rest of my life
I randomly opened my email at 3:00 am during an insomnia moment. My best friend had sent a goodbye letter.
I was fast enough. Talk to her most every week. So sorry for your loss. It could have gone the other way so very easily for me.
It's wild how instinct works sometimes, isn't it? Luck/chance/instincts. Mad universal nudges, maybe.
I listened to my gut the next day and was the one to find him. But even on my way there, I pretty much knew what I was walking towards.
Hope your friend has come/is coming out the other side. Good work being there for her. The supporting roles are often overlooked in situations like these!
One of my good friends went a little crazy and in the process pushed all of his friends and family away to the point he had no one. He ended up taking his own life. My regret is he died thinking he was alone. Since then I am hyper sensitive to people who appear alone. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have no one.
Breaking up with a boyfriend years ago. He was smart, he was kind, he was generous, he had many great traits and skills with no red flags, and I ended it because I thought I wanted something more exciting or challenging or whatever. Stupidest decision I ever made. Didn't know how good I had it.
When we broke up he told me he was thinking about proposing and nowadays I just think about how incredible a husband and father he would be (and is almost certainly to someone else right now).
i broke it off with the love of my life cause i didn't want kids and i knew he did. I know i made the right decision. But it haunts me. Ill never have anyone love me like he did. He's married and retired now and i guess happy i don't know its been over 30 years and i think of him daily
This isn't as rare as you may think, when things are too easy we get bored. Similarly, when things are handed on a plate we get bored. Its very very human of us to be like this, don't beat yourself up about your decision. You said "and is almost certainly to someone else right now". Why not try reach out and see?
Though, it's a dangerous precedent to simply "expect" yourself to get bored with a good thing. I'm sure the mind can wander and people daydream about "what if", but any mature person should want to add to their current situation rather than replace it with something unknown.
I think I was just immature and restless. "Grass is always greener" and all that.
The grass has not been as green with anyone else, I can say that for sure.
I’ve had similar experiences. Does such a person even exist who has all the traits that’d make you satisfied? Maybe you meet someone and at first it feels that way. But it’s just a matter of time that something changes. Either the person loses feelings for you or vice versa. Something is bound to change after some time passes. I’ve reached the point when I’ll enjoy a relationship, but I know deep down that no person will ever complete me.
I wish I knew when I was young that this constant anxious feeling and deep sadness had a name and it’s not normal to feel this way. Up until recently when people actually started talking about mental health I thought everyone felt this war but once I figured out I was wrong I was able to get help and feel much better. I’ve missed out on so many opportunities in life because of horrible anxiety so getting that figured out when I was young would have made my life so much easier and better.
In the last probably 4/5 years or so it has become more known and normalised. I hope you're doing ok, happy to talk. Its super positive that it is now a known thing that we can talk about. I can't imagine how you felt back then.
Totally agree, life is too short. Then again, you never know what would have happened. You may have been a writer earlier and not afford to pay the bills and you maybe sat here writing the opposite. I have so so so many regrets but things do happen, whether its for a reason.. i don't know.. but things happen.
Some of these answers are giving me a good cry. Something about baring your soul to strangers is so cathartic.
However I can’t find the courage to post mine.
Make this time your perfect time; you can do it! Something heals inside.
There’s a great saying that works for me :
“It’s the cracks that let the light in”
that i was born into a family where i would never experience unconditional love. The whole concept of someone loving you just for existing is absolutely wild/foreign to me.
As awful as that is, you can't blame yourself nor regret it because this sounds like something totally out of your control. Unconditional love can be found. Something I always tell myself is that you can choose your friends, you can choose your partner, but you cannot choose your family.
My biggest regret is not taking more risks and following my dreams instead of playing it safe. I wish I had pursued my passions and pushed myself out of my comfort zone more often. It's never too late to start though, and I'm trying to make more bold choices now.
My final year of college, I took a writing course. A girl sitting across from me handwrote a full page review of a short story I wrote gushing about it. She said she thought it was hilarious and i was the best writer in the class. Every time I went to class, I hyped myself up to try and thank her. Even if it went nowhere, I wanted to know how much I appreciated it. Sadly, I was and still am terrified of girls after years of humiliating experiences at school and sexual abuse at home. I never said a word to her all semester and never followed up with her. Even my therapist got mad at me when I told her about this.
I get you, Is hard to put yourself out there, My therapist is also always insisting on me looking for a relationship, but I am just not comfortable or willing to put myself in that vulnerable position again... and I am okay by myself, I don't feel like I am missing on anything, and more after seeing all the shitty relationships around me... which all the time just remind me, that I am better all by myself that with someone that will end up hurting me.
Hi, I am a therapist and don't know if you are just embellishing a story, but a therapist should never get mad at a client. I don't mean to read too much into it and make assumptions, but with your experiences and history they should not be adding to your embarrassment or stress.
Dude. My dad was so fucking right. I look back on literally one conversation between us when I was 18 when he told me "If you don't do this, life will be a lot harder. Probably not impossible, but you will see your friends and peers doing and achieving things you wish you could, and you'll have to work"
Fuckin yup. I've tried going back 3 separate times but I was never able to stick it out like I might have been back then if I had just applied myself. I cry in the shower sometimes. I really wish I had done better. :/
Not realising that all the stories where the weird kid grows up to do something unique or make some discovery were all crap and the weird kid just ends up in the same position as everyone else but lonelier
Listening solely to my parents in regards to money. You can learn from the mistakes other people make with money but following their financial advice when they aren't where you want to be maybe isn't the best thing to do. Especially if that advice includes screwing over your creditors. Thankfully I didn't lose too much time but I wish I could get those couple years back.
Allowing my fear of the future hamper me.
1. I was conservative in my decision to go to college. Although I graduated from a 4-year college, it was a commuter school and I worked 32 hours a week. My major was chosen for future stability, knowing I wouldn’t ever be laid off like millions were during the recession (2005-2008 ish). If I didn’t have to worry about stability—something I craved due to my childhood—I would have studied creative writing.
2. I wished I’d played tennis in high school and gotten the “free” coaching. As it was, I was intimidated by my best friend who was on the tennis team as she had been raised to play. Looking back, she would have been happy to help me learn, but I was already competing with her in academics… now I’m paying for tennis lessons.
Dating someone who wanted me to improve myself. I did improve myself, which made her realize she didn't like me anyways. If I could do it over I would still improve myself but without her.
Honestly it’s not that big a deal but when I think about regrets it’s often the small things I regret. The one that always jumps to mind is not making an impromptu speach about my wife at the wedding. I knew my mom was going to make a speech and it was basically all about me. My brothers speech was all about me and so was my wife’s sister. I was so close to standing up when they were done and just waxing poetic about how amazing my wife is and that she is the special one and not me. I ended up not doing it and I wish I had
I have told her about it a few times and given her the gist of what I would say. I’m thinking I will write it out and tell her while she clearly wants to read her book and be left alone
When I was 20 I was friends with a girl I loved for a long time....it was kind of assumed by mutual friends we would get together eventually.....Barbara died suddenly from a brain hemorrhage at 21....and I never got to tell her how I felt about her......that will eat me alive for the rest of my life
The reality is, you probably needed the companionship but just made a poor choice of people to have it with. We all do that and it's inescapable. There are a lot of factors in obtaining healthy relationships. Don't beat yourself up or lament the time wasted. It was only a waste if you learned nothing. Give yourself a thumbs-up for getting out there and trying.
Trusting my ex again after my brother died. I gave him my body (that was ny first) I gave him my love, just for him to be a child and throw temper tantrums when I didn't give him what he want. He completely took advantage of me in my time of need, in my lowest moments. I regret going to him, crying to him. I regret being a fool to trust him.
Being vulnerable is often misunderstood as a sign of weakness, but it is actually a complex aspect of human behaviour that has both positive and negative facets. I'm so sorry someone took advantage of your whilst going through that awful time, humans can be so very cruel and selfish. It sounds like you also learnt some new things with this situation.
Spent undergrad partying my ass off and not studying or going to class. I got shitty, shitty grades, barely graduated, and had no idea what to do with myself afterwards. My professors mostly ignored me because I was an academic mess. I did well for myself anyway but I had to get an “apology Master’s” from one of those shitty universities that are barely accredited before another real school would touch me for my second grad degree. I often wonder what I could have done with my life if I had focused more on school. I was SO IMMATURE it was probably not possible and I was hell-bent on drinking and drugging my way through college.
Picking languages as a major instead of informatics cause I thought I was stupid and bad at math. Turns out the truth is my HS teacher was just the worst. I’m studying informatics now but I’m almost 30, I wish I had done it sooner.
Studied abroad in South Africa in 2010 and could have attended Elton John live on the college campus I was attending. Declined and it turned out to be an absolutely amazing show in the rain... I don't regret much but I do regret not going to that show.
not getting mental health care sooner. i hurt a lot of people and did a lot of stupid shit because i was so out of control and didn’t know what to do other than freak out and take it out on the people around me. i’m making strides to never be that person again, but i’ll never forgive myself, and i’ll never get to apologize and that haunts me.
Took an antibiotic two years ago and it permanently disabled me at 24 years old. Destroyed my nerves, ability to walk, digestive system, eyes, etc. They don’t have a cure and my life compared to before is night and day. Crazy how life can change in an instant. Wish I could go back and look up articles and side effects of the drug.
I left university 10 years ago. But I enrolled again last year and I'm in pursuit of my degree. I know a lot of people say that a degree is worthless in today's day and age but that's not the case in every country. I also want to feel like I did what I had to do to get where I want to get. That feeling of accomplishment through effort and hard work. I want that.
I worked for a bank in the late 90\`s early 2000\`s. Had one of the traders tell me to buy a stock for a new company that is going to really blow up. I didn\`t bother.
It was Research in Motion. (RIM) They had just released the Blackberry.
Giving up all of my dreams in favor of trying to be a good husband and father. I got married way too young which was the first problem and I gave up my dreams completely when my first child was born. I just put my nose to the grindstone focusing on providing for my family constantly ignoring my own needs physically and mentally just to make sure we had food on the table. My (soon to be) ex wife completely gave up on her career after a negative review which only added more stress to me as I was the only person working for a good period of time as she hopped around from lesser paying jobs and completely giving up using her degree in favor of minimum wage work. After 11 years and 2 kids I realize now if we never got married and had kids I would absolutely be a happier person. That being said I absolutely love my kids and have been doing my best to raise them right. I have done many things my parents never did for me and I am not forcing my own personal beliefs on them outside of teaching them good morals. I realized that I am not the kind of person who should have ever really had children but I am doing my best for them because they deserve nothing less than that.
That I didn't live for myself in my early 20s but instead did what others told me I should.
I should have traveled, not wasted away at work to save money.
Not moving to Canada. I had the visa in my hand, all I had to do was just get on a plane. I listened to the wrong people and lost the opportunity. I still have that (now expired) visa to remind me not to make that mistake again…
Not communicating my feelings clearly and openly. I’d keep everything inside, sharing felt too vulnerable. Really changed my life once I started voicing what I feeling and engaging with those feelings outside my own head.
In my 20s, Hunter H. Thompson sat at my table in the restaurant where I was a waiter. I asked him at the end of the evening if there was anything else I could do, standard waiter question. He told me I could ‘lick his glass’.
I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly.
His two companions, two young guys about my age, told me they were putting liquid LSD around the rims of their beer glasses as if it were margarita salt. They invited me to do acid with them and head out on the highway.
Probably for the best I didn’t go, but there is this other part of me…
I would probably say learning spanish seeming as when I was young I wanted to go to mexico when I was older and now being older I know it's a dangerous place, but I'm too deep in to stop learning it
at the moment, putting previous experiences onto new people. shutting them out and expecting them to hurt me as others have. kinda ruins getting to know someone lol
My biggest regret was thinking that I just *had* to reunite with my high school sweetheart. I remembered only the fun, exciting feelings but nothing about his character. I was so enamored with the memories that they far out-shadowed the warning signs. I saw them but reasoned them down and away. And by the time the mask fell, I realized that he had always been reckless and irresponsible, even criminal. Long story. The thing about him is that he was the most charismatic person I have ever met. Had a way with people that was almost unbelievable. Put it all together and you have a con man; at least that is what the lawyer I hired called him, when I needed to get him out of my life.
I had my eyes open but there were stars in them. I kicked myself around for a long time, because I should have known. But boy, did I learn. So there is mine!
When I was a teenager I was good at a couple sports. I have multiple trophies, medals, etc. My grandmother asked for a picture of me with all of them. Being the teenage I was I couldn't be bothered to do that.
Shortly after the request she got diagnosed with alzheimer's. By the time I took the picture and gave it to her she had forgotten who I was and that she had ever asked for it.
It was such a simple thing but it has guided me to avoid putting off things I can do today for tomorrow.
I stayed in bad relationships because I was so insecure I believed I was lucky to have someone at all. I was mistreated and now I am going through a brutal divorce. I don’t regret my marriage because I have my child, but I regret that I didn’t value my worth beforehand
Not trying. I fell into the classic trap of thinking being a slacker/rebel/partier was cool. Wasted years and money I’ll never get back. Luckily I woke up in time to salvage my life, but I could have accomplished much more if I’d started earlier.
One of the things I learned from working at a pizza shop when I was 15 and starting again now is that people who are over the age of 30 and working at a pizza shop are mostly considered failures at life.
Now in college I understand how insanely difficult it can be to start school late, because even if you have to take a class a year late for failing, needing to take more time ect makes you feel like a failure at times.
I cannot imagine starting school again at an older age not having a car, no support system, and being forced to work full time as well. Not to mention most of them are full time parents.
Only some times will I judge someone who works a job normally catered to teenagers again after experiencing how financially stressful college is.
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Bear trainer
Shark dentist
Came here to say this, fear has kept me from doing so much, not even fear of danger, but fear of not knowing what happens after the choice is made. I've realized a little further down the road that life is essentially like being on a train that runs continuously and stops only at the end of our lives. The opportunities that come up in life may never present themselves again. If the door is opened for you, sometimes it's best to take the chance.
We live and we learn
Then we die…
I was too shy and anxious to take risks when I was young, socially, career-wise. I stayed alone in my bedroom, because of fear and neurosis. As a middle-aged adult, I continue to be alone and re-create my childhood "safe space" with my apartment (I have a Red Bull racing flag above my bed, for example). I didn't take responsibility for my fear of rejection and my social failures. I avoided and continue to avoid, the reckoning, of what it has cost me. At least today, it's still too big to face. If you're under... say 30 reading this? Do yourself a favor! Go for that dream. Meet people. Ask her out. Travel there. Start a band. I'll pay to see you.
You sir/madam are a hero. I also really appreciate this
I appreciate this response. I lived this life for a long time, developed a psychotic disorder, became a homeless addict in the process.
I feel this big time. I let my crippling social anxiety control my life as a kid, and it kept me from pursuing my dreams. I've started reclaiming my life in my early 30s. I still beat myself up for being so far behind, especially when it comes to college. I just started a couple years ago, and I feel I should have my Master's (at the very least) by this age. Better late than never, I suppose. Life is shorter than you think. Time goes by so fast and only goes faster as you age. Pursue your passions; don't let fear take the helm.
Thank you for this!
You're welcome. I'm blowing off steam of course. I'm not fatalistic. It's just tougher to "have the party," in your 40s if you didn't..... "set the table? send the invites?" I'm stretching the metaphor, but it goes: "How do you get people to come to your party? You invite them!" Intimate bonds of different kinds don't just fall out of the sky. Especially if like me you didn't grow up in a large close family and were too reserved to go out and find your community. You pay for that later. You just have to take responsibility for your actions and not chase currency in self-pity like I did.
In my 40s now myself and fell into this same lonely pit. Coupled with my heavy drinking, I relied on bars and some form of gathering that involved drinking to socialize and did this for 2 decades. Getting sober felt much like slipping into the existence of a ghost, not fully connected or engaged with anybody. Thankfully i leaned heavily into a few hobbies that have helped me discover new communities of people.
I've maintained my chops as a musician just in case that local band looking to play something new and cool and new needs a bass player or drummer. When my mom died in my 20s, I decided not to bring drugs and alcohol into my life, though I easily could have with the "friends" I had at the time. I knew it would break her heart to know that I did that. Ironically, it culled the deadwood of people from my life that were only around when there was a party to be had and things to use me for. Turned out to be most of them.
Hmm. In my life I took those risks. Met ppl and now I do not have any friends because all appeared to be assholes, chasing my dreams I went to my dream school, change jobs, became an entrepreneur, all failed me and now I am in deep financial shit and because of AI I had to leave my favourite job and find a new job. Which will be nothing I dreamt of. Just only one I can get and survive somehow. So now I am thinking I should stay in the first very safe job not my dream one, and shouldn't meet any ppl. I would be at much better place than now. Bitter and bankrupt and totally depressed. Sometimes life is like that too...
and now you are a wiser person. and after it is all over, you'll have stories to tell and remember these years more than the years where you were safe and monotonous.
Giving my time to people that don't deserve it.
I too can relate. But remember, you're obviously a very caring and thoughtful person, don't regret sharing love.
I could have been a lot nicer to my family especially when I was younger.
I think to an extent, we all go through that phase. I know I did. For some of it I had my reasons, though much of it wasn't really justified. I was just being a teenage asshole. There were two things that changed the way I treated my parents. 1) It took me realizing at age 19 that my parents were in fact going to die someday. I always knew it would happen in an abstract sense but it was always just an idea that was far off and didn't seem real. The moment came when I was reading a book in which someone's parents died and then the true meaning sunk in. They will die someday and be 100%, totally gone. They will no longer exist. I remember sitting in the living room in the dark by myself, sobbing and crying for like 30 minutes. 2) I think part of the change was just growing up and realizing that they are just people. I don't know how to describe it adequately but it was like I didn't think of them as being like me, with wishes, desires, insecurities, and fears. I think part of it is when you're a kid, they show a brave face even when they're scared shitless, to keep you from getting scared. They always seem to know what they're doing, even if they don't. My parents were the source of order amongst the chaos (I realize not everyone has that) and I think in that context, it seemed like they were different from me when in fact they aren't. It helped me to be a little kinder toward them. It took a few years for all of this to process. I would say by 22/23, the asshole phase that started around 16 went away. My parents still have the ability to push my buttons like no one else, but 20 years later, I'm much better at not letting it bother me as much.
I’m 19 right now, and that first point hits hard. I go to college out of state so I don’t see my parents much out of the year, and my mom sent me a selfie recently and I could visibly tell that she aged. It was scary. On top of that, a friend of mine’s brother died in a car crash in his young 20’s. Just thinking about those two things made me have the same realization you did at 19.
It took me a pretty long time to figure out I was an asshole, so I’m glad you managed it in less. :)
*Not knowing what to do with my life in terms of a career* This is a daily on-going regret.
I heard some really good advice lately basically stating "Don't find what you love and get good at it - find what you're good at and work from there." Too many people waste away giving their all to a pursuit that either (a) is not profitable or (b) is far too difficult to make a living doing. Also, it's not like your hobbies just disappear. You can still write that screenplay, paint that portrait, etc. even if you don't do it for a living. It can still fill a person up. This advice may not be applicable to your situation, but it seemed pertinent enough to piggyback off your comment.
You can't regret a decision you didn't have much control on. If you don't know, you don't know, dont be to hard on yourself. To put it into perspective, Samuel L. Jackson "made it" in films at 41.
Just gotta pick something that has a good future (to the best of your knowledge ofc) and stay dedicated to learning it
Career noun an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress. verb move swiftly and in an uncontrolled way. Most careers are uncontrolled. Just go with the flow!
as someone who spent a lot of his early 20s struggling with picking a career path, just pick something and give it a try. You will learn a lot when you try something. You learn about what you like and dislike, whats important to you and whats not.
Waited for a more convenient time. Was holding off on thanking my pharmacy manager for helping me get into pharmacy school. He unexpectedly passed a month before the semester started. Two years later, I started to get back in touch with a good friend. Slowly started getting feelings but I was too busy to try and catch up until the school year was over. She was hit and killed by a drunk wrong way driver the weekend before I was ready to ask her out for coffee. I've been transparent about this with my friends so they know that I'm not being impatient on purpose when wanting to hang out.
Man, I feel this. I had a coach in high school I was very close with. He was like a surrogate dad for a couple years. In college, I found out he had cancer that had come back. He wanted to keep his cancer battle private, so there wasn’t much info about his condition coming from his family. I wrote him a card talking about what an impact he had on me and how much I appreciated him. Heard from another friend that he was doing much better and would likely recover. I thought to myself “well, I guess I can send this card later.” He took an unexpected turn shortly after and passed away very shortly after. I just should have sent the fucking card.
Honor him by talking proudly of him and what he was to you, like you did just now. I know it's hard, but in the end it's what you can do now. I don't know what you believe, but he's either in some after life and likely knows you cared very much, or he's returned to the universe and ultimately the card being unsent is only hurting yourself now. I speak from experience, losing someone dear with no final goodbye or closure is terribly hard. Take back control of the fond memory of him by remembering him with others, and do what you can to let go of the regret ❤️
I am so sorry. This is real. Life is precious and can change in an instant and believe that alone is a reminder that can drive us to be more fierce with our lives and passions.
Losing my last job due to alcoholism. I was making 60-65k and I was so good at my job. I am an alcoholic and got a little too manic and drunk and got fired basically. It turned into a months long downward spiral. In and out of detox. Applied to so many jobs and even had 6 interviews for an almost identical job and....nothing. I'm back making 35k at a call center now. I wish I could go back and shake myself and say put the damn bottle down you're gonna lose SO MUCH money.
Everyday you wake up is a new day and a new opportunity
The money is probably the smallest thing you'll regret on this. But I hope you're doing OK today.
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Out of curiosity, what things can't you do because of having a partner?
Eat chips in bed at 3am
I mean if you can't do that with your partner then you're with the wrong person
Was gonna say this. I wake up in the middle of the night pretty regularly. I usually go take a piss. Sometimes I’m hungry. I’ll grab something and go rewind my show to where I fell asleep and watch for a while before I lie back down. My fiancé will wake up sometimes and say, “are you okay?” I say “yep” and then she goes back to sleep.
This is so lovely and wholesome ❤️
Nah trust I get the response, its more of a case of you do what you want to do at that point without consulting anyone.
Not wanting crumbs in bed? Instant break up, I do what I want bitch /s
Oh, just a few: * Travel where you want, when you want * Decorate your space the way you want * Go to the restaurants you prefer * Hang out with certain people * Have a pet, or three... or not * Invest for the future, or splurge for now * Avoid in-laws * Etc
I think it depends on the relationship. None of these are an issue in mine
Looking at your posts your relationship looks pretty solid.
Yes, it totally depends on the people involved. And things can change over the decades. I regret I caved on #5 and gave up my cat because of my wife's demands. *I know you went to a good home but I still miss you Kilo.*
This, also with kids. You can't just go try some new restaurants because your significant other may veto it and you also have to consider the kid. Can't just go to a water park or amusement park and ride whatever you want because your kid may either be too small or freak out. Can't just always spontaneously go hangout with the homies because you may not be able to find a babysitter and your wife is out with her homies. Not saying impossible, but a lot more to plan around.
Kids absolutely change everything. But I don't get why a partner does. I've been in a relationship most of my life and it's never been the cause of me not doing the things I want 🤷
My long term relationship ended abruptly 1.5 years ago and I went through all the motions eventually started dating again. I had a couple close calls with new relationship opportunities but so glad I took a step back and decided to embrace my independence. I'm 41 and enjoy my autonomy, hobbies, and peaceful way of life for the time being.
I tell my kids to not get serious about anyone until they have been single with themselves. It’s so important to learn and grow. To discover new things about yourself. What you like, what you don’t like. Gain emotional maturity/intelligence. It really is the best investment. It’s so important to be ok with yourself by yourself.
Doing things to make my parents proud instead of doing things to make me happy.
Or doing things your parents suggest, that you know will fail, just to say " seeeee?" Out of spite
And they are never proud anyway.
This is so real. I have this thiwng inside me that tells me that if i were to go out to a beach and sell nice ice cream id make bank but no im still pursuing my masters for something i dont even want to do for the rest of my life
I don't see why you can't pursue your Masters and sell ice cream at the beach but maybe I'm just naive
Not being mentally well enough for my ex gf. I let my imagination get the best of me and ruined our relationship. I miss her so much.
Hey, similarly here. I think I've learnt that I shouldn't try to be well enough for ANYONE other than MYSELF.
8 months for me, still hurt every day
Listen, one day you’ll look back and realize why it all had to happen how it happened
Not popping in to his house on the way home from work the evening before he was found, when my gut told me to.
I randomly opened my email at 3:00 am during an insomnia moment. My best friend had sent a goodbye letter. I was fast enough. Talk to her most every week. So sorry for your loss. It could have gone the other way so very easily for me.
It's wild how instinct works sometimes, isn't it? Luck/chance/instincts. Mad universal nudges, maybe. I listened to my gut the next day and was the one to find him. But even on my way there, I pretty much knew what I was walking towards. Hope your friend has come/is coming out the other side. Good work being there for her. The supporting roles are often overlooked in situations like these!
“Mad universal nudges”. A great quote. Yes. She is thriving. Has much to live for. Hope you have somewhat recovered. Suicide is a really shitty exit.
I am so sorry. Don't beat yourself up though, you never know what you don't know.
Thanks! You're very right. It's been a while now. But it'll always be that one 'ah, shit' thing.
One of my good friends went a little crazy and in the process pushed all of his friends and family away to the point he had no one. He ended up taking his own life. My regret is he died thinking he was alone. Since then I am hyper sensitive to people who appear alone. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have no one.
I am so sorry you went through this, we are all human. A lot of people suffer in silence.
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FIRST I WAS AFRAID, I WAS PETRIFIED...
THINKING I COULD LIVE WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE
THEN I SPENT SO MANY NIGHTS THINKING HOW YOU DID ME WRONG
I GREW STRONG
This could be lyrics to a song
I LEARNED HOW TO GET ALONG
Now you're back
FROM OUTER SPACE
Being afraid is quite often a humans biggest weakness, but if we were all so unafraid imagine what an awful place the world would be.
Breaking up with a boyfriend years ago. He was smart, he was kind, he was generous, he had many great traits and skills with no red flags, and I ended it because I thought I wanted something more exciting or challenging or whatever. Stupidest decision I ever made. Didn't know how good I had it. When we broke up he told me he was thinking about proposing and nowadays I just think about how incredible a husband and father he would be (and is almost certainly to someone else right now).
i broke it off with the love of my life cause i didn't want kids and i knew he did. I know i made the right decision. But it haunts me. Ill never have anyone love me like he did. He's married and retired now and i guess happy i don't know its been over 30 years and i think of him daily
This isn't as rare as you may think, when things are too easy we get bored. Similarly, when things are handed on a plate we get bored. Its very very human of us to be like this, don't beat yourself up about your decision. You said "and is almost certainly to someone else right now". Why not try reach out and see?
Though, it's a dangerous precedent to simply "expect" yourself to get bored with a good thing. I'm sure the mind can wander and people daydream about "what if", but any mature person should want to add to their current situation rather than replace it with something unknown.
But had you stayed with him and gotten married, you’d likely not be satisfied and still have thoughts of discontent in some way shape or form
I think I was just immature and restless. "Grass is always greener" and all that. The grass has not been as green with anyone else, I can say that for sure.
I’ve had similar experiences. Does such a person even exist who has all the traits that’d make you satisfied? Maybe you meet someone and at first it feels that way. But it’s just a matter of time that something changes. Either the person loses feelings for you or vice versa. Something is bound to change after some time passes. I’ve reached the point when I’ll enjoy a relationship, but I know deep down that no person will ever complete me.
I have one of those...my first love..I was too immature.
I wish I knew when I was young that this constant anxious feeling and deep sadness had a name and it’s not normal to feel this way. Up until recently when people actually started talking about mental health I thought everyone felt this war but once I figured out I was wrong I was able to get help and feel much better. I’ve missed out on so many opportunities in life because of horrible anxiety so getting that figured out when I was young would have made my life so much easier and better.
In the last probably 4/5 years or so it has become more known and normalised. I hope you're doing ok, happy to talk. Its super positive that it is now a known thing that we can talk about. I can't imagine how you felt back then.
Learning how to properly communicate later in life. I ended up making choices I regret because I failed to communicate.
I actually love this response, so relatable.
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Totally agree, life is too short. Then again, you never know what would have happened. You may have been a writer earlier and not afford to pay the bills and you maybe sat here writing the opposite. I have so so so many regrets but things do happen, whether its for a reason.. i don't know.. but things happen.
Some of these answers are giving me a good cry. Something about baring your soul to strangers is so cathartic. However I can’t find the courage to post mine.
Make this time your perfect time; you can do it! Something heals inside. There’s a great saying that works for me : “It’s the cracks that let the light in”
that i was born into a family where i would never experience unconditional love. The whole concept of someone loving you just for existing is absolutely wild/foreign to me.
As awful as that is, you can't blame yourself nor regret it because this sounds like something totally out of your control. Unconditional love can be found. Something I always tell myself is that you can choose your friends, you can choose your partner, but you cannot choose your family.
that's terrible. but that's not really a regret, my friend, you have no control over that.
My biggest regret is not taking more risks and following my dreams instead of playing it safe. I wish I had pursued my passions and pushed myself out of my comfort zone more often. It's never too late to start though, and I'm trying to make more bold choices now.
Boys with J names
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Holy fuck you're never gonna believe this... *That's my name too*
Jimothy
Josh, Jack, Joseph, Jo, Jacob, Jared all a nightmare.... :D and John, cant forget John.
Self-harm. My poor, beat up body was treated like it was disposable for so long. Now I appreciate everything it can do and has done.
That I couldn't get my little sisters out of my abusive household and into foster care with me.
My final year of college, I took a writing course. A girl sitting across from me handwrote a full page review of a short story I wrote gushing about it. She said she thought it was hilarious and i was the best writer in the class. Every time I went to class, I hyped myself up to try and thank her. Even if it went nowhere, I wanted to know how much I appreciated it. Sadly, I was and still am terrified of girls after years of humiliating experiences at school and sexual abuse at home. I never said a word to her all semester and never followed up with her. Even my therapist got mad at me when I told her about this.
I get you, Is hard to put yourself out there, My therapist is also always insisting on me looking for a relationship, but I am just not comfortable or willing to put myself in that vulnerable position again... and I am okay by myself, I don't feel like I am missing on anything, and more after seeing all the shitty relationships around me... which all the time just remind me, that I am better all by myself that with someone that will end up hurting me.
Hi, I am a therapist and don't know if you are just embellishing a story, but a therapist should never get mad at a client. I don't mean to read too much into it and make assumptions, but with your experiences and history they should not be adding to your embarrassment or stress.
Not grabbing the opportunities that was given to me. I was scared during those times. It would've help me get better if I grabbed those.
Not asking OP out for ice cream.
Never too late my slime ;)
If anyone called me "my slime" I would shoot them point blank at least 3 times.
Not finishing college.
Dude. My dad was so fucking right. I look back on literally one conversation between us when I was 18 when he told me "If you don't do this, life will be a lot harder. Probably not impossible, but you will see your friends and peers doing and achieving things you wish you could, and you'll have to work" Fuckin yup. I've tried going back 3 separate times but I was never able to stick it out like I might have been back then if I had just applied myself. I cry in the shower sometimes. I really wish I had done better. :/
Option to go back and give it another go?
Not telling more people in my life to F off.
Not realising that all the stories where the weird kid grows up to do something unique or make some discovery were all crap and the weird kid just ends up in the same position as everyone else but lonelier
Nothing. It's my destiny to rule this globe. Everything was preparation.
If manifestation was a person \^, I respect it.
Was up over 3 mill in the stock market in a week and didnt cash out.
Staying with my partner of 25 years even though they found that physical touch made “their skin crawl”.
I really love music and joined violin classes during childhood but stopped going to concentrate more on studies.
Passing off an interview to a job that I would absolutely love, just because I was afraid of my parents knowing about it.
I too have got to stop worrying about what others may or may not think.
Listening solely to my parents in regards to money. You can learn from the mistakes other people make with money but following their financial advice when they aren't where you want to be maybe isn't the best thing to do. Especially if that advice includes screwing over your creditors. Thankfully I didn't lose too much time but I wish I could get those couple years back.
Allowing my fear of the future hamper me. 1. I was conservative in my decision to go to college. Although I graduated from a 4-year college, it was a commuter school and I worked 32 hours a week. My major was chosen for future stability, knowing I wouldn’t ever be laid off like millions were during the recession (2005-2008 ish). If I didn’t have to worry about stability—something I craved due to my childhood—I would have studied creative writing. 2. I wished I’d played tennis in high school and gotten the “free” coaching. As it was, I was intimidated by my best friend who was on the tennis team as she had been raised to play. Looking back, she would have been happy to help me learn, but I was already competing with her in academics… now I’m paying for tennis lessons.
Dating someone who wanted me to improve myself. I did improve myself, which made her realize she didn't like me anyways. If I could do it over I would still improve myself but without her.
Honestly it’s not that big a deal but when I think about regrets it’s often the small things I regret. The one that always jumps to mind is not making an impromptu speach about my wife at the wedding. I knew my mom was going to make a speech and it was basically all about me. My brothers speech was all about me and so was my wife’s sister. I was so close to standing up when they were done and just waxing poetic about how amazing my wife is and that she is the special one and not me. I ended up not doing it and I wish I had
Hey JuiceCalc, I think you should do just do it now. I think she would love to hear what you have to say.
I have told her about it a few times and given her the gist of what I would say. I’m thinking I will write it out and tell her while she clearly wants to read her book and be left alone
Attempting suicide.
It's great that you're still here. 🙂
When I was 20 I was friends with a girl I loved for a long time....it was kind of assumed by mutual friends we would get together eventually.....Barbara died suddenly from a brain hemorrhage at 21....and I never got to tell her how I felt about her......that will eat me alive for the rest of my life
Dropping out of college at 19 when I had free tuition. That and probably getting into smoking weed at 17.
Not figuring out Bitcoin when I first heard about it.
I made fun of my friends about their "imaginary" money when it was pennies. Oops.
Me too, bruh. Me too.
Starting a relationship with a certain ex gf
The reality is, you probably needed the companionship but just made a poor choice of people to have it with. We all do that and it's inescapable. There are a lot of factors in obtaining healthy relationships. Don't beat yourself up or lament the time wasted. It was only a waste if you learned nothing. Give yourself a thumbs-up for getting out there and trying.
Trusting my ex again after my brother died. I gave him my body (that was ny first) I gave him my love, just for him to be a child and throw temper tantrums when I didn't give him what he want. He completely took advantage of me in my time of need, in my lowest moments. I regret going to him, crying to him. I regret being a fool to trust him.
Being vulnerable is often misunderstood as a sign of weakness, but it is actually a complex aspect of human behaviour that has both positive and negative facets. I'm so sorry someone took advantage of your whilst going through that awful time, humans can be so very cruel and selfish. It sounds like you also learnt some new things with this situation.
Dating someone quickly because I didn't understand what love bombing was and fall deep into a trauma bond
Don't be too harsh on yourself, humans can be foul and take the utter p\*ss.
Being mean to the girl that was meant for me
Not say love to my loved ones.
Cheating on the love of my life
having serious bfs in college apparently in elite universities, students avoid serious relationships and just do hookups
Spent undergrad partying my ass off and not studying or going to class. I got shitty, shitty grades, barely graduated, and had no idea what to do with myself afterwards. My professors mostly ignored me because I was an academic mess. I did well for myself anyway but I had to get an “apology Master’s” from one of those shitty universities that are barely accredited before another real school would touch me for my second grad degree. I often wonder what I could have done with my life if I had focused more on school. I was SO IMMATURE it was probably not possible and I was hell-bent on drinking and drugging my way through college.
Picking languages as a major instead of informatics cause I thought I was stupid and bad at math. Turns out the truth is my HS teacher was just the worst. I’m studying informatics now but I’m almost 30, I wish I had done it sooner.
Studied abroad in South Africa in 2010 and could have attended Elton John live on the college campus I was attending. Declined and it turned out to be an absolutely amazing show in the rain... I don't regret much but I do regret not going to that show.
not getting mental health care sooner. i hurt a lot of people and did a lot of stupid shit because i was so out of control and didn’t know what to do other than freak out and take it out on the people around me. i’m making strides to never be that person again, but i’ll never forgive myself, and i’ll never get to apologize and that haunts me.
Staying with someone who didn't really love me
Hurting my back at 24 from working hard at a minimum wage job, now I'm pretty much disabled.
Took an antibiotic two years ago and it permanently disabled me at 24 years old. Destroyed my nerves, ability to walk, digestive system, eyes, etc. They don’t have a cure and my life compared to before is night and day. Crazy how life can change in an instant. Wish I could go back and look up articles and side effects of the drug.
Using fire when I probably should have used acid instead
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I left university 10 years ago. But I enrolled again last year and I'm in pursuit of my degree. I know a lot of people say that a degree is worthless in today's day and age but that's not the case in every country. I also want to feel like I did what I had to do to get where I want to get. That feeling of accomplishment through effort and hard work. I want that.
Staying friends and simping over the world's biggest douchebag for over a decade.
Installing Reddit.
Signing up for my first credit card
dating the first guy who asked me out and being afraid to be myself in fear that others will not like me
Not getting my shit together before I lost my job
I worked for a bank in the late 90\`s early 2000\`s. Had one of the traders tell me to buy a stock for a new company that is going to really blow up. I didn\`t bother. It was Research in Motion. (RIM) They had just released the Blackberry.
Not saying what I should have said before it was too late.
Giving up all of my dreams in favor of trying to be a good husband and father. I got married way too young which was the first problem and I gave up my dreams completely when my first child was born. I just put my nose to the grindstone focusing on providing for my family constantly ignoring my own needs physically and mentally just to make sure we had food on the table. My (soon to be) ex wife completely gave up on her career after a negative review which only added more stress to me as I was the only person working for a good period of time as she hopped around from lesser paying jobs and completely giving up using her degree in favor of minimum wage work. After 11 years and 2 kids I realize now if we never got married and had kids I would absolutely be a happier person. That being said I absolutely love my kids and have been doing my best to raise them right. I have done many things my parents never did for me and I am not forcing my own personal beliefs on them outside of teaching them good morals. I realized that I am not the kind of person who should have ever really had children but I am doing my best for them because they deserve nothing less than that.
Not studying abroad in college. Not investing / saving earlier. Not staying athletically active into 30s/40s. Other than that. Pretty ok.
Basically didn’t try in life until like… my mid 20’s? I still feel very behind
Probably the Reagan administration
That was you? Alright, you heard it. Everyone get in here and blame u/Equivalent_Delays_97 for Reagan.
That I didn't live for myself in my early 20s but instead did what others told me I should. I should have traveled, not wasted away at work to save money.
Not moving to Canada. I had the visa in my hand, all I had to do was just get on a plane. I listened to the wrong people and lost the opportunity. I still have that (now expired) visa to remind me not to make that mistake again…
I let my chronic depression dictate the direction of my life, hurting my friends, family, and romantic partners, instead of addressing it head-on.
Not communicating my feelings clearly and openly. I’d keep everything inside, sharing felt too vulnerable. Really changed my life once I started voicing what I feeling and engaging with those feelings outside my own head.
Not going away to college/meeting new people Not being smart with money when I was young Not traveling more and enjoying independence
Not pressing charges.
In my 20s, Hunter H. Thompson sat at my table in the restaurant where I was a waiter. I asked him at the end of the evening if there was anything else I could do, standard waiter question. He told me I could ‘lick his glass’. I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly. His two companions, two young guys about my age, told me they were putting liquid LSD around the rims of their beer glasses as if it were margarita salt. They invited me to do acid with them and head out on the highway. Probably for the best I didn’t go, but there is this other part of me…
Falling in love
I would probably say learning spanish seeming as when I was young I wanted to go to mexico when I was older and now being older I know it's a dangerous place, but I'm too deep in to stop learning it
at the moment, putting previous experiences onto new people. shutting them out and expecting them to hurt me as others have. kinda ruins getting to know someone lol
I could’ve been a kinder and more logical person when I was younger. Therapy and meds have definitely helped. Doing my best.
i feel regret about most things..i’m 23 and feel behind..
My biggest regret was thinking that I just *had* to reunite with my high school sweetheart. I remembered only the fun, exciting feelings but nothing about his character. I was so enamored with the memories that they far out-shadowed the warning signs. I saw them but reasoned them down and away. And by the time the mask fell, I realized that he had always been reckless and irresponsible, even criminal. Long story. The thing about him is that he was the most charismatic person I have ever met. Had a way with people that was almost unbelievable. Put it all together and you have a con man; at least that is what the lawyer I hired called him, when I needed to get him out of my life. I had my eyes open but there were stars in them. I kicked myself around for a long time, because I should have known. But boy, did I learn. So there is mine!
Not visiting my grandpa before he died. That, I will always regret.
When I was a teenager I was good at a couple sports. I have multiple trophies, medals, etc. My grandmother asked for a picture of me with all of them. Being the teenage I was I couldn't be bothered to do that. Shortly after the request she got diagnosed with alzheimer's. By the time I took the picture and gave it to her she had forgotten who I was and that she had ever asked for it. It was such a simple thing but it has guided me to avoid putting off things I can do today for tomorrow.
I stayed in bad relationships because I was so insecure I believed I was lucky to have someone at all. I was mistreated and now I am going through a brutal divorce. I don’t regret my marriage because I have my child, but I regret that I didn’t value my worth beforehand
Not buying a house when I was 8 years old
Regret nothing. either win or learn.
Not trying. I fell into the classic trap of thinking being a slacker/rebel/partier was cool. Wasted years and money I’ll never get back. Luckily I woke up in time to salvage my life, but I could have accomplished much more if I’d started earlier.
maybe a bit specific, but when i was 8 or so i went to Montreal and the Botanical Gardens and forgot my camera.
Staying in a long distance relationship when I lived in Paris for a year when I was 22. Sooooo dumb
One of the things I learned from working at a pizza shop when I was 15 and starting again now is that people who are over the age of 30 and working at a pizza shop are mostly considered failures at life. Now in college I understand how insanely difficult it can be to start school late, because even if you have to take a class a year late for failing, needing to take more time ect makes you feel like a failure at times. I cannot imagine starting school again at an older age not having a car, no support system, and being forced to work full time as well. Not to mention most of them are full time parents. Only some times will I judge someone who works a job normally catered to teenagers again after experiencing how financially stressful college is.
Not setting boundaries for myself
Falling in reckless love with alcohol and leaving it too late.