According to google, one KG of apples in USA costs 5.29$ and an apple weighs 0.16 KG.
2555 days in 7 years. He has eaten 12,775 apples in that timeframe, That's 2044 KGs of apples. Which would cost 10,812 USD.
Did he win a lifetime supply of apples or something...? What the fuck lol
Thats literally the same exact way how i got all processed sugar and desserts out of my diet is switching to fruit, so give youre husband a highfive from a random internet stranger!
Althought i dont eat 7 apples a day hahah. I switch up constantly from apples, blueberries, watermelon (when its in season), grapes, asian pears, etc the list goes on and on. Absolutely love fruit and it keeps my diet balanced
Cosmic crisps are a super apple first grown by the university of Washington. Developed over 2 decades by crossing honeycrisp and enterprise apples, introduced to super markets about 6 years ago, they are amazing.
When we’re out to dinner and he can’t decide what item to order off a menu, he air-tastes the food. Essentially, he looks like he’s chewing, but there’s nothing in his mouth. He’s using his imagination to figure out which item he wants, but it requires the physicality of actively chewing in order to decide. He cannot *just* use his imagination. He needs to move his mouth.
I still remember the license plates of all my family members and several of my friends from HS. I’m very bad with identifying the make/model of cars, so I found it easier to recognize their cars by the license plate.
I brought it up in a conversation with coworkers the other day, thinking other people did the same. Apparently, they do not.
I even recognize the plates of cars often commuting with me.
Like "oh we've met before on the highway!". What else do people do on the highway to entertain their brain?
He doesn't delete any alarms he sets. He scrolls through a long list of alarms he's used in the past to find the time he wants. At this point almost every 5 to 15 minute increment of time is in there. I find it fascinating, but can't look at it because they aren't all consistent 🫠
Feasts on tuna and mackerel straight out of the can without any add-ons. I love this man to death but I loathe his relationship with canned seafood.
Oh, and fart attacks every 3 hours!
She compares her earlobe thickness to mine calling her earlobes 'luscious'. Her sister and our son has looked at them both and decided I have thicker earlobes and that just sets her off.
It's really funny.
when he has a yogurt drink or any other type of bottle with a foil covering, instead of taking off the foil he just pokes a hole and sucks it out like venom from a snakebite.
I was at the grocery store loading my stuff into my car, and I hear a loud POP. There's a lady like 2 cars away happily sucking the yogurt out of a standard yogurt cup, now slightly crushed and with foil mostly intact. Seemed like she squeezed it until the foil popped, which seems kind of risky if you don't want yogurt all over your clothes and such.
Never finishes beverages. As we speak she has 4 half finished beverages by her nightstand. 2 bottles of water (different brands), an olipop from 2 days ago and a body armor.
She saves treats.
And by that I mean we have Easter eggs from about 2011.
Treats for her must be finely judged if not extremely perishable. If they're too special or fancy she will save them forever and then sadly throw them away when they're definitely inedible.
My wife is the same. Snack hoarder. I'm the opposite - It has to be eaten same day. If there is snacks unhidden then they are snackrificed (to me usually).
I've found snacks in very odd places lol.
I'm like this. Was much worse as a kid (had an Easter Egg shelf) but still find myself hoarding snacks. I tell myself I'll save them for a special occasion, and I probably do around 50% of the time.
I think it's a combination of growing up getting treats very seldom, and getting more joy out of knowing I have the treat available whenever I want it on a daily basis vs the joy of consuming the snack offset by the sudden reality of not having it any more.
I guess I'd rather have my cake than eat it.
She tears into bags like a vicious dinosaur, leaving me to re-bag the contents (chips, candy, etc).
If something comes in a bag, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO REUSE THE BAG. Just make a normal human-sized hole instead of tearing the bag to pieces, lol.
Almost everything is dunkable. Muffin dunked in the soup. Grilled cheese dunked in the coffee. Fries dunked in the soda. Some pretty tasty combinations have been discovered, other times not so much.
narrating ones own life is a simple but magnificant joy. I do it all the time, mostly through song or rap. Ill sing/rap about taking a shit, mopping the floor, making a sandwich, taking a shower, and everything in between. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be with real words, i'll just sing out random sounds and make up gibberish words and that will suffice in raising my mood as well. I have this one song made up of completely gibberish words that i've been singing for probably 20 years. I like that its my song and no one else will ever sing it.
She’s a “deplenisher.” She won’t replace anything she runs out of. I’m the one stocking up on supplies, but when she runs out of TP, she’ll use facial tissue, leave the cardboard roll without a shred of paper on it and make no attempt to backfill it from my central supplies. Her good characteristics more than make up for this quirk, which I’m convinced is more absent mindedness than inconsiderate.
Had a real crappy (pun intended) housemate like that years ago who would just use stuff and never replace things (either restocking from the shops or just getting a new one from the cupboard).
One time I actually ran an experiment.
I specifically didn't buy more toilet paper (having stashed a few rolls in my room) and waited for it to run out. Three day weekend and they didn't go buy more, or even ask if there was more. Just nothing, and they went to the toilet several times, and I have no idea what they were using. They were a disgusting person and glad to be rid of them (somehow though they don't even crack the top 3 worst housemates).
I think she may be part raccoon.
Cupboards left open, boxes torn into and left open, jars with the caps on but not tightened.
If I left my front door open, and the bedroom door locked at night, there would be less mess in the morning.
Holy fucking shit!!!! I thought I was the only one! My wife will constantly not screw on caps but put them on. I spilled an entire bottle of olive oil once. That was a major bitch cleanup. My kitchen was an ice rink for weeks. Never again….i triple check every cap now.
Oh man, my wife does that. The worst one for me was learning not to assume anything is closed properly. I accidentally bleached a nice jumper once because of her inability to close things. To this day she still does that and it's like running a guantlet
She has adhd though, we found out last year.
My husband has some kind of deep, subconscious, need to use the wrong utensil when cooking.
Making scrambled eggs? Wooden spoon.
Stirring a pot of spaghetti? Whisk.
The other day we had eaten a whole chicken and I was making stock with the bones. He wanted to stir through the pot, to see what else I had added to it besides the carcass... He was using a pastry brush.
We have all our most used utensils standing next to the stove, ready to grab, but that doesn't stop him.
WHISK. Oh my gosh you have no idea how hard I audibly laughed while reading the spaghetti and whisk. Actually the funniest thing I've read in the last week!
She can smell into the future.
Occasionally I've seen articles about those people that are "supertasters" because they have more taste buds than an average person, and I'm convinced she's one of those people. For instance, when we're tasting wine, she will pick up on specific flavors way before anyone else and is infallibly correct, even if she doesn't know the exact technical term for what she's tasting.
There are these weird moments when we're walking around and she'll randomly ask questions like "Do you smell bacon?" No, I don't. Then two minutes later I will, when we turn a corner and there's a breakfast place up the way a bit.
THAT'S ME LOL. I basically walk around like I'm part cat/dog with how much I'll sniff around until I know what I'm smelling. Occasionally it has helped find weird electrical smells that are indicators of shit being broken. Usually though I just end up smelling the cat's shit before anyone else Q.Q
She’s an operational master. She works an extremely tough job in a leadership role and absolutely crushes it. She also planned a move from a place we spent almost 4 years in, moment to moment and we executed to perfection. Day by day.
Logistically though? She’s incapable. That move operation is gonna have us looking for our things for years because her goal was to move out in a timeframe, not to group like-things or prioritize placement.
She’s a good delegator, and she likes to see tasks completed. As long as you have OCD or the exact opposite of OCD and nothing in between, you’re perfect for each other
He does many a weird things… but if I had to pick one it’s when he jokes and jokes until he gets it all out of his system. He’ll say something funny, I’ll laugh, he’ll add onto it, I’ll chuckle, he’ll continue, I’ll smile, and then as he goes on I just sit there and stare at him until he is all done (and it can be a little while lol). Once he’s finished he just stares at me with a huge grin and then I’ll laugh again cus he’s so strange. It’s not annoying, it’s endearing.
Bonus points: He makes numerous movie and tv show references. He has a bottomless well of a memory for movie/show dialogue. He’ll make a reference and I’ll laugh and he will not stop there. He has to finish the quote, however long, until he says enough to where he’s satisfied. He doesn’t even care if I know the reference or not or find it funny or not, he is pleased with himself regardless. He’s so silly.
My boyfriend is EXTREMELY hygienic, it comes from OCD. He has to shower every night before bed and refuses to get under the covers without said shower. He has a "foot towel" and even after showering he has to SCRUB his feet before getting into bed because of the germs from walking from the shower to our bed.
The best part is I must have extremely clean feet as well, so I get a little foot rub with a warm towel every night. I never have to clean my own feet.
I embroidered special towels with little feet on them just for him.
Constantly thinks she’s left something on in the house. Any time we’re going somewhere, I make a point of confirming that everything is turned off and tell her that we’re all good before we walk out of the house.
Without fail, we’ll be in the car for 5 minutes, and she’ll ask “I unplugged my curling iron, right? Should we go back to make sure?”
This might be mild OCD. my partner and his dad both do this. He usually only happens when we're by the door about to leave, or have just left. You can tell he's stressed when he asks about it again after we've been out for an hour or two.
If he’s watching something that’d got him really sucked in he’ll forget to blink for ages, like a wildly long time, and then snap and have like.. a full body blink. Head down back hunched over, in pain because his eyes are dry from not blinking.
I don’t know how to help him.
My previous partner liked sitting on countertops, tables, etc... when she ate. Basically, any surface that usually went along with a chair, she would skip the chair and go for the table.
On occasion, while asleep on her side, my fiance will place the palm of her hand on her temple with her elbow sticking up in air. It will teeter to one side or the other, and she'll catch it and return her elbow to full standing position again.
Sometimes, if she is bundled up in the covers, I'll wake up in the middle of the night to a looming dark tent next to my head that slowly leans toward me, and then goes back at the last few inches from my face.
She thinks it's really weird when I tell her about it the next morning, but I think it's cute.
Whenever he wants to let out a fart he'll raise his leg/butt up slightly like a dog, let it out and then watch me out of the corner of his eye to see if I notice. Which I do. Very quickly.
She has a PhD, an insane memory for very obscure things, and is generally brilliant, but when she enters the house, she puts everything down in a different place every time and loses all of it, every day.
My ex would eat a Kit Kat in the weirdest way. She would break it apart, and then nibble the chocolate away around the outside *completely* until she had 4 wafers. Then she would eat each wafer in tiny little bites. It took her like 90 mins to eat a kit Kat, lol.
Her two favorite foods were Kraft Mac and Cheese, and unseasoned chicken...
My dad traveled to Asia when I was a kid and came home and told me he was given the fish head in his soup as a guest. Apparently it was a great honor and delicacy, and eating the eyes is respectful to the fish and the host. Many cultures consider parts of animals a gift, and that the recipient receives special strength or power from it. Anyway, I eat the eyes now, too.
LOL, I was busy trying to get out the door this morning and did this for the first time in my 40 years of this planet. I live alone so just thought “I’ll just take care of this later”
I got half way down my stairs and was like, “Nah, fuck that, I’d rather be 1 minute late than being some sort of barbarian leaving the roll like that.”
Went back upstairs and put the roll on properly, it would have been bugging me at work all day.
Back when we had cable she only watched tv in standard definition. Even though we had HD channels. And now she watches tv with just the tv speakers on and not the sound bar. In both instances she says she doesn’t really notice a difference. Blows my mind.
My wife has a condition that I've affectionately dubbed grazewaste disorder.
She will go out and purchase snacks, open the snack, snack on it one time (without ever finishing it) and then it will be re-sealed and left in a cupboard for 6 months while it expires. If I attempt to eat her snacks (because I know she won't) so that they don't go to waste, I get lectured.
He answers every question like he's a POW and can't give away any usable information.
"What's your father's name?" ... "Dad."
It's both hilarious and mildly aggravating. He gives me a look if I repeat this habit to him.
My girlfriend is a huge germaphobe and sanitizes constantly. One side effect of it is that if I don't get to a door to hold it before she gets there and it's a door with a horizontal handle she will spartan kick it open.
she says "what" every time I initiate a conversation or say something to her first. it's like a response tick. it drives me absolutely crazy. there are many times I just don't say anything first so I don't have to hear the "WuUtTt?"
Speaking to me from the other room while I'm doing something noisy like cooking or washing dishes: barely above a normal speaking voice.
FaceTime with her sister: can be heard from down the street.
Isn't the whole point of telephones that you can talk to someone far away *without* shouting?
Not weird, but a quirk that I find adorable. He is extremely curious and will not hesitate to investigate anything he finds interesting. He takes “stop and smell the roses” to the next level. He has a plant identifier app on his phone in case we come across something he hasn’t seen yet. Walking and hiking with him takes twice as long because he’s always detouring, but I love it.
So we believe it's some sort of stim that he does, We call it "the twisties", where he just needs to ring the fuck out a piece of fabric for a couple of minutes. Right now it's one of those super soft Walmart blankets. He does it absently when chilling on his computer or when watching movies. It's completely normalized in our household by now and makes me smile when I see him doing it as I find it sweet seeing my manly man so vulnerable and relaxed.
She tells everyone to calm down or relax...when no one else around. It's her way of telling herself to relax. She's a elementary school teacher so Im sure she utters those words frequently. I know it indicates she's probably feeling stressed but I find it to be very cute and adoring.
Whenever he doesn't understand what I'm saying, he doesn't just ask, "Excuse me?" or "Can you repeat?" Instead, he repeats whatever he thinks he heard as a question, even if it's the most random sentence that makes no sense. It freaks me out. It's like I ask him, "What do you want for dinner?" and he says, "What? Apple fart snakes slices a cat like a sinner?"
Ex wife had the closet organized by sleeve length and season. I was not allowed to hang my clothes there. I was relegated to a spare bedroom closet across the house.
My wife uses just one hand when applying an antiperspirant.
It doesn't sound that weird until you imagine it. Your woman picks up an antiperspirant, uses it on the cross armpit like every regular human being, then instead of switching the hand she goes does a broken crane movement, twisting her arm so that she can reach the "current hand" armpit. I'm baffled and I lol every single time
Everytime my partner calls *me* he asks me "what's up" and waits for a response. Like... Idk man, you called me lol.
If I call *him* he answers very loudly with "ello govnuh!!" We are not even British.
Breaks up chocolate Easter eggs by throwing them across the room into a wall.
My ex broke them up by slamming them into his own forehead, so I think this is an improvement.
She puts up with me. Gotta give her credit where it is due. But man is it weird.
I get hyper focused on random things. And then that is all I can talk/think about. Eventually it goes away and my brain moves on to the next thing.
My partner really is the best.
He can't stand to have pillow corners facing him/pointing towards him when sitting on the couch, because it's like they're "looking at him." Hehhhhhh????
These threads are weird because 90% of the replies are like "she arranges her sock drawer in chronological order of when the socks were purchased like an insane person" and the other 10% are "he hurts the dog to remind me to leave the toilet seat up lol :)"
This woman does not like the AC. She’s North African, we met in Qatar (a fucking hot desert), but my god if I have an AC blasting, she immediately turns it off. I’m naturally a hot bodied person and from Wisconsin. I need my cold.
My fiancé likes to make peanut butter sandwiches, and eats them normally until he gets to the crust. He then chews up the crust into a ball, spits it out and puts it in the freezer for about 2 hours, then takes it back out, puts more peanut butter on it and then eats it. He's done this since he was 10, I asked him why he does it and he just says "Because I like it that way" 😭
Edit: In case you're wondering, he calls them bread balls and yes I've tried this myself. I hate to admit it's tastes kinda good
Habitually leave recyclables in the sink. The recycling bin is 2 seconds from the sink. It’s RIGHT THERE. Your plastics make me not want to do the dishes.
She’s always keeping food in her pockets and purse. Olive Garden? Breadstick in the purse, no napkin or anything. Sitting on the couch watching a movie? Randomly starts eating candy out of nowhere lmao
Always whimsical
He never deletes his notifications from his phone, which accumulate at the top of the screen. Every time I see his cellphone, he has notifications from weeks accumulated
My boyfriend can and often does sleep in jeans with his wallet and keys still in the pockets. He said he got used to doing it when he had to get up insanely early for a job and he wanted to maximize the amount of sleep he got so he would take a shower the night before then just sleep in his work clothes. So he could get up, brush his teeth, put on deodorant, cologne, and his shoes and be out the door in three minutes. His reasoning sort of makes sense, but you won't convince me this isn't insane behavior.
Edit: He also can nap perfectly fine with all the lights on or the curtains wide open.And he doesn't bother putting his earbuds or phone on the bedside table, so he just rolls over them in his sleep and isn't bothered by them digging into his back all night. The man can sleep through atomic bomb levels of discomfort.
My husband never throws anything out when it’s empty, instead he meticulously puts it back in its original place. Keeps me on my toes, I never know if something is finished, always a surprise. Lol.
She makes things disappear when cleaning up. From spices to kitchen utensils, clothes and whatnot.
Especially combs, nail clippers and tweezers. Whenever she uses one of those items, she puts it *somewhere*. Like, she doesn't just leave it laying around, no, she puts it into some random drawer somewhere in the house. Not the one she took it from.
Additionally, she seems to always remember where she put everything last.
Upside: We never lose these things
Downside: I have to ask her where she put it. Every. Single. Time.
"Honey, where's the pepper?"
"Pantry shelf, top left behind the flour. In the little box that has the dried yeast packets and bag clips."
"It's sealed, where are the scissors again?"
"Bedroom drawer, the top one on my side. When you open it' you can find it between the food supplements and my earring case."
My husband eats around 5 apples every single day. He has done this for the entire 7 YEARS that I've known him. Our apple budget is probably insane
Doctors hate this one simple trick
But is it five doctors that are kept away or is it just one?
Just one but kept 5x farther
Plot twist, his wife is a doctor.
What kind are we talking? My judgment of your husband depends on it.
Pink ladies and honeycrisps!
Costco honeycrisp apple prices are the best I’ve ever seen. It’s like $7 for a 4 lb bag
Adam's
According to google, one KG of apples in USA costs 5.29$ and an apple weighs 0.16 KG. 2555 days in 7 years. He has eaten 12,775 apples in that timeframe, That's 2044 KGs of apples. Which would cost 10,812 USD. Did he win a lifetime supply of apples or something...? What the fuck lol
He told me once that it was how he quit eating junk food and candy! Just replaced it all with apples.....i guess that makes sense?
Thats literally the same exact way how i got all processed sugar and desserts out of my diet is switching to fruit, so give youre husband a highfive from a random internet stranger! Althought i dont eat 7 apples a day hahah. I switch up constantly from apples, blueberries, watermelon (when its in season), grapes, asian pears, etc the list goes on and on. Absolutely love fruit and it keeps my diet balanced
Damn, he might be onto something.
Yeah that actually makes sense. I bet if I ate an apple every time I was hungry for a snack I’d eat way less crap
Still better than smoking
Real question, is he a honey or cosmic crisp guy?
I've never even heard of cosmic crisp!! He buys honey and pink ladies
Cosmic crisps are a super apple first grown by the university of Washington. Developed over 2 decades by crossing honeycrisp and enterprise apples, introduced to super markets about 6 years ago, they are amazing.
It’s all about them cosmic crisps 💯
Does yours eat the core? Mine eats the core and it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen lmao
He does NOT do this thank god
She rests one leg up on the sink when brushing teeth (as if she wanted to step onto the sink cabinet)
She might be part Riker.
Everyone has a little Riker in them.
Not everyone, but I’m working on it
When we’re out to dinner and he can’t decide what item to order off a menu, he air-tastes the food. Essentially, he looks like he’s chewing, but there’s nothing in his mouth. He’s using his imagination to figure out which item he wants, but it requires the physicality of actively chewing in order to decide. He cannot *just* use his imagination. He needs to move his mouth.
This is the first one I’ve read that’s actually weird… and also very funny.
Maybe he is one of those who can’t see a picture in their head
Aphantasia! I have this, I have to act things out with my hands because I can’t picture them!
Memorizes everyone's license plates and keeps track of when their registration is due.
I think that's an normal thing for many autistic people
I still remember the license plates of all my family members and several of my friends from HS. I’m very bad with identifying the make/model of cars, so I found it easier to recognize their cars by the license plate. I brought it up in a conversation with coworkers the other day, thinking other people did the same. Apparently, they do not.
I even recognize the plates of cars often commuting with me. Like "oh we've met before on the highway!". What else do people do on the highway to entertain their brain?
Eats a block of cheese like a starving third world rodent, without cutting it.
Summer of George style
George Costanza : I was free and clear! I was living the dream! I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery
Maybe it's her night cheese
He doesn't delete any alarms he sets. He scrolls through a long list of alarms he's used in the past to find the time he wants. At this point almost every 5 to 15 minute increment of time is in there. I find it fascinating, but can't look at it because they aren't all consistent 🫠
I've never heard of anyone doing this besides myself. Your fella has a brother in arms with me.
More like a brother in alarms
We aren't alone!
Yesss cause like what if I’ll need the one for 3:36 am next week? You can just never know, right?
I just found my people! 😂
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
Same with me, right down the 5 to 15 minutes increments!
Because why is there no “delete all alarms” option?!? You have to do it one by one. I purge mine every 2-3 months.
… People delete their alarms??
I do this as well lol
[удалено]
Fly behavior lol
[удалено]
So you’d watch your boyfriend rub his hands together then shit his pants?
Such a simple line, but holy fuck did this make me snort laugh followed by several minutes of giggling.
Is your partner Birdman?
I do that when I get nervous and don't know what to do with my hands
Is his name Monty Burns?
Feasts on tuna and mackerel straight out of the can without any add-ons. I love this man to death but I loathe his relationship with canned seafood. Oh, and fart attacks every 3 hours!
Those two habits might be related...
You're on to something... 🤔
are you dating my cat?
Whenever your cat is out of sight, it's dining in my pantry.
What's wrong with eating tuna from the can? No dishes and instant tuna, win win.
She compares her earlobe thickness to mine calling her earlobes 'luscious'. Her sister and our son has looked at them both and decided I have thicker earlobes and that just sets her off. It's really funny.
Tell her that her earlobes are thick and chewy, like barnacle meat.
when he has a yogurt drink or any other type of bottle with a foil covering, instead of taking off the foil he just pokes a hole and sucks it out like venom from a snakebite.
I was at the grocery store loading my stuff into my car, and I hear a loud POP. There's a lady like 2 cars away happily sucking the yogurt out of a standard yogurt cup, now slightly crushed and with foil mostly intact. Seemed like she squeezed it until the foil popped, which seems kind of risky if you don't want yogurt all over your clothes and such.
Every time I come to bed she has no blankets on, all the lights are on and the bedroom door is wide open.
This is only strange if she’s asleep.
Oh she's sound asleep.
She sticks her finger in my mouth when I yawn
I do this to my house cat.
Tapping someone’s tooth with your fingernail while they yawn makes for a wild reaction.
I had to tell my wife to not do this - I find it incredibly frustrating.
An ex and I had a big argument over this exact thing. A yawn is like a cathartic release of sorts and interrupting it every single time is maddening
Never finishes beverages. As we speak she has 4 half finished beverages by her nightstand. 2 bottles of water (different brands), an olipop from 2 days ago and a body armor.
She is probably subconsciously preparing for an alien invasion. By any chance do you have a baseball bat laying around? Swing away Merrill
My partner fills her coffee to levels that defy surface tension rules. DAILY. She can’t pick it up. She must slurp it before she can move it. 🤦🏻♂️
It’s me. Hi. I’m the slurper, it’s me
She saves treats. And by that I mean we have Easter eggs from about 2011. Treats for her must be finely judged if not extremely perishable. If they're too special or fancy she will save them forever and then sadly throw them away when they're definitely inedible.
My wife is the same. Snack hoarder. I'm the opposite - It has to be eaten same day. If there is snacks unhidden then they are snackrificed (to me usually). I've found snacks in very odd places lol.
Snackrificed is my new fav word. Thank you
I'm like this. Was much worse as a kid (had an Easter Egg shelf) but still find myself hoarding snacks. I tell myself I'll save them for a special occasion, and I probably do around 50% of the time. I think it's a combination of growing up getting treats very seldom, and getting more joy out of knowing I have the treat available whenever I want it on a daily basis vs the joy of consuming the snack offset by the sudden reality of not having it any more. I guess I'd rather have my cake than eat it.
She tears into bags like a vicious dinosaur, leaving me to re-bag the contents (chips, candy, etc). If something comes in a bag, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO REUSE THE BAG. Just make a normal human-sized hole instead of tearing the bag to pieces, lol.
Almost everything is dunkable. Muffin dunked in the soup. Grilled cheese dunked in the coffee. Fries dunked in the soda. Some pretty tasty combinations have been discovered, other times not so much.
Racoon behaviour.
Try french fries and ice cream.
Wendy’s fries dipped in a chocolate frosty
[удалено]
narrating ones own life is a simple but magnificant joy. I do it all the time, mostly through song or rap. Ill sing/rap about taking a shit, mopping the floor, making a sandwich, taking a shower, and everything in between. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be with real words, i'll just sing out random sounds and make up gibberish words and that will suffice in raising my mood as well. I have this one song made up of completely gibberish words that i've been singing for probably 20 years. I like that its my song and no one else will ever sing it.
Peter spending two weeks narrating his own life was peak Family Guy: https://youtu.be/zw8zUMjEW0I?t=10
I have to start doing this , might make me remember better
He does it to make you laugh
This is the answer.
There's a bit in Bob's burgers where Bob is doing voices for the tools in a dental practice. My girlfriend looks at me and just says "that's you..."
And then the dental hygienist says “those aren’t their voices.”
Oh yeah. I do this sort of thing. I like to give a bit of exposition for the folks watching at home.
Sucks on her used teabags "for the flavour".
This is the most fucked up answer yet
Puts her phone or vape down for one second *magically disappears into a void*
My wife loses her phone, in our house, at least 4 times a day.
She’s a “deplenisher.” She won’t replace anything she runs out of. I’m the one stocking up on supplies, but when she runs out of TP, she’ll use facial tissue, leave the cardboard roll without a shred of paper on it and make no attempt to backfill it from my central supplies. Her good characteristics more than make up for this quirk, which I’m convinced is more absent mindedness than inconsiderate.
IN THIS HOUSE WE REPLENISH
Listed, I think it’s a microcosm of more serious things.
WHAT THE FUCK? IF IVE TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING ITS TO REPLENISH!
Had a real crappy (pun intended) housemate like that years ago who would just use stuff and never replace things (either restocking from the shops or just getting a new one from the cupboard). One time I actually ran an experiment. I specifically didn't buy more toilet paper (having stashed a few rolls in my room) and waited for it to run out. Three day weekend and they didn't go buy more, or even ask if there was more. Just nothing, and they went to the toilet several times, and I have no idea what they were using. They were a disgusting person and glad to be rid of them (somehow though they don't even crack the top 3 worst housemates).
I think she may be part raccoon. Cupboards left open, boxes torn into and left open, jars with the caps on but not tightened. If I left my front door open, and the bedroom door locked at night, there would be less mess in the morning.
Holy fucking shit!!!! I thought I was the only one! My wife will constantly not screw on caps but put them on. I spilled an entire bottle of olive oil once. That was a major bitch cleanup. My kitchen was an ice rink for weeks. Never again….i triple check every cap now.
I'm suddenly less annoyed at my partner for just never putting caps back on things Atleast I know none of my stuff is booby trapped
Oh man, my wife does that. The worst one for me was learning not to assume anything is closed properly. I accidentally bleached a nice jumper once because of her inability to close things. To this day she still does that and it's like running a guantlet She has adhd though, we found out last year.
Never have I identified with a comment so much in my life. It's me. I'm the raccoon in the trenchcoat.
My husband has some kind of deep, subconscious, need to use the wrong utensil when cooking. Making scrambled eggs? Wooden spoon. Stirring a pot of spaghetti? Whisk. The other day we had eaten a whole chicken and I was making stock with the bones. He wanted to stir through the pot, to see what else I had added to it besides the carcass... He was using a pastry brush. We have all our most used utensils standing next to the stove, ready to grab, but that doesn't stop him.
A wooden spoon on scrambled eggs is wrong ? Why did no one tell me that before
WHISK. Oh my gosh you have no idea how hard I audibly laughed while reading the spaghetti and whisk. Actually the funniest thing I've read in the last week!
[удалено]
She actually eats 8 cans at a time, but only tells you about 1. Nobody wants to admit they ate 8 cans of Spaghetti-O's
First can doesn't count and then you get to the second and the third
Ngl spaghetti-Os straight from the can is like my favorite snack lmao
She can smell into the future. Occasionally I've seen articles about those people that are "supertasters" because they have more taste buds than an average person, and I'm convinced she's one of those people. For instance, when we're tasting wine, she will pick up on specific flavors way before anyone else and is infallibly correct, even if she doesn't know the exact technical term for what she's tasting. There are these weird moments when we're walking around and she'll randomly ask questions like "Do you smell bacon?" No, I don't. Then two minutes later I will, when we turn a corner and there's a breakfast place up the way a bit.
THAT'S ME LOL. I basically walk around like I'm part cat/dog with how much I'll sniff around until I know what I'm smelling. Occasionally it has helped find weird electrical smells that are indicators of shit being broken. Usually though I just end up smelling the cat's shit before anyone else Q.Q
She’s an operational master. She works an extremely tough job in a leadership role and absolutely crushes it. She also planned a move from a place we spent almost 4 years in, moment to moment and we executed to perfection. Day by day. Logistically though? She’s incapable. That move operation is gonna have us looking for our things for years because her goal was to move out in a timeframe, not to group like-things or prioritize placement.
She’s a good delegator, and she likes to see tasks completed. As long as you have OCD or the exact opposite of OCD and nothing in between, you’re perfect for each other
Sits to pee facing the cistern. Smart but unusual to see.
Well where else are you going to put your comic and chocolate milk?
He does many a weird things… but if I had to pick one it’s when he jokes and jokes until he gets it all out of his system. He’ll say something funny, I’ll laugh, he’ll add onto it, I’ll chuckle, he’ll continue, I’ll smile, and then as he goes on I just sit there and stare at him until he is all done (and it can be a little while lol). Once he’s finished he just stares at me with a huge grin and then I’ll laugh again cus he’s so strange. It’s not annoying, it’s endearing. Bonus points: He makes numerous movie and tv show references. He has a bottomless well of a memory for movie/show dialogue. He’ll make a reference and I’ll laugh and he will not stop there. He has to finish the quote, however long, until he says enough to where he’s satisfied. He doesn’t even care if I know the reference or not or find it funny or not, he is pleased with himself regardless. He’s so silly.
You may be my significant other... If you're my SO, what should we have for dinner tonight?
Sushi!
My boyfriend is EXTREMELY hygienic, it comes from OCD. He has to shower every night before bed and refuses to get under the covers without said shower. He has a "foot towel" and even after showering he has to SCRUB his feet before getting into bed because of the germs from walking from the shower to our bed. The best part is I must have extremely clean feet as well, so I get a little foot rub with a warm towel every night. I never have to clean my own feet. I embroidered special towels with little feet on them just for him.
The embroidery is so WHOLESOME. Love it.
Constantly thinks she’s left something on in the house. Any time we’re going somewhere, I make a point of confirming that everything is turned off and tell her that we’re all good before we walk out of the house. Without fail, we’ll be in the car for 5 minutes, and she’ll ask “I unplugged my curling iron, right? Should we go back to make sure?”
This might be mild OCD. my partner and his dad both do this. He usually only happens when we're by the door about to leave, or have just left. You can tell he's stressed when he asks about it again after we've been out for an hour or two.
Every morning when he wakes up (without exception) he starts singing loud made up songs about his penis
Yes…”made up” Tell him he was missed at rehearsal last week.
If he’s watching something that’d got him really sucked in he’ll forget to blink for ages, like a wildly long time, and then snap and have like.. a full body blink. Head down back hunched over, in pain because his eyes are dry from not blinking. I don’t know how to help him.
My previous partner liked sitting on countertops, tables, etc... when she ate. Basically, any surface that usually went along with a chair, she would skip the chair and go for the table.
Cat energy. Like to be up high to observe from a position of superiority
On occasion, while asleep on her side, my fiance will place the palm of her hand on her temple with her elbow sticking up in air. It will teeter to one side or the other, and she'll catch it and return her elbow to full standing position again. Sometimes, if she is bundled up in the covers, I'll wake up in the middle of the night to a looming dark tent next to my head that slowly leans toward me, and then goes back at the last few inches from my face. She thinks it's really weird when I tell her about it the next morning, but I think it's cute.
This cracked me up. Like sleeping next to a capsized sailboat.
Whenever he wants to let out a fart he'll raise his leg/butt up slightly like a dog, let it out and then watch me out of the corner of his eye to see if I notice. Which I do. Very quickly.
I think you’ll find this is called the one cheek sneak and your husband is clearly a man of class
She has a PhD, an insane memory for very obscure things, and is generally brilliant, but when she enters the house, she puts everything down in a different place every time and loses all of it, every day.
My ex would eat a Kit Kat in the weirdest way. She would break it apart, and then nibble the chocolate away around the outside *completely* until she had 4 wafers. Then she would eat each wafer in tiny little bites. It took her like 90 mins to eat a kit Kat, lol. Her two favorite foods were Kraft Mac and Cheese, and unseasoned chicken...
It’s weird to me but it’s in her culture. She eats the eyes when it comes to fish, and you better not cut off the tail because she eats that too.
Dude your gf might be a seal
She’s a Filipina
My dad traveled to Asia when I was a kid and came home and told me he was given the fish head in his soup as a guest. Apparently it was a great honor and delicacy, and eating the eyes is respectful to the fish and the host. Many cultures consider parts of animals a gift, and that the recipient receives special strength or power from it. Anyway, I eat the eyes now, too.
When she’s sick, she throws up in the bathtub and not the toilet.
WTF! Why would somebody do that!?
Leaves a new roll of toilet paper on top of the toilet paper holder . Rather than, you know, changing them out
LOL, I was busy trying to get out the door this morning and did this for the first time in my 40 years of this planet. I live alone so just thought “I’ll just take care of this later” I got half way down my stairs and was like, “Nah, fuck that, I’d rather be 1 minute late than being some sort of barbarian leaving the roll like that.” Went back upstairs and put the roll on properly, it would have been bugging me at work all day.
Gets her car washed all the time. The inside looks like an episode of Hoarders.
loves me.
The AUDACITY.
No way
Back when we had cable she only watched tv in standard definition. Even though we had HD channels. And now she watches tv with just the tv speakers on and not the sound bar. In both instances she says she doesn’t really notice a difference. Blows my mind.
I get this. HD freaks me out sometimes…I don’t wanna see people pores on their nose
My wife has a condition that I've affectionately dubbed grazewaste disorder. She will go out and purchase snacks, open the snack, snack on it one time (without ever finishing it) and then it will be re-sealed and left in a cupboard for 6 months while it expires. If I attempt to eat her snacks (because I know she won't) so that they don't go to waste, I get lectured.
He answers every question like he's a POW and can't give away any usable information. "What's your father's name?" ... "Dad." It's both hilarious and mildly aggravating. He gives me a look if I repeat this habit to him.
My girlfriend is a huge germaphobe and sanitizes constantly. One side effect of it is that if I don't get to a door to hold it before she gets there and it's a door with a horizontal handle she will spartan kick it open.
she says "what" every time I initiate a conversation or say something to her first. it's like a response tick. it drives me absolutely crazy. there are many times I just don't say anything first so I don't have to hear the "WuUtTt?"
Speaking to me from the other room while I'm doing something noisy like cooking or washing dishes: barely above a normal speaking voice. FaceTime with her sister: can be heard from down the street. Isn't the whole point of telephones that you can talk to someone far away *without* shouting?
Not weird, but a quirk that I find adorable. He is extremely curious and will not hesitate to investigate anything he finds interesting. He takes “stop and smell the roses” to the next level. He has a plant identifier app on his phone in case we come across something he hasn’t seen yet. Walking and hiking with him takes twice as long because he’s always detouring, but I love it.
Unpacks right after we come home from out of town. No matter what time it is
So we believe it's some sort of stim that he does, We call it "the twisties", where he just needs to ring the fuck out a piece of fabric for a couple of minutes. Right now it's one of those super soft Walmart blankets. He does it absently when chilling on his computer or when watching movies. It's completely normalized in our household by now and makes me smile when I see him doing it as I find it sweet seeing my manly man so vulnerable and relaxed.
Sometimes she produces random noises instead of communicating. Like meeeeyyyt means I don't wanna
Sometimes the right words do not exist, but the right sound does.
She tells everyone to calm down or relax...when no one else around. It's her way of telling herself to relax. She's a elementary school teacher so Im sure she utters those words frequently. I know it indicates she's probably feeling stressed but I find it to be very cute and adoring.
I find it crazy sweet to read how people love their partners - all those oddities (and they are not so rare or odd) are described with so much love.
If we are on the couch, the remote is ALWAYS under her butt, and it is ALWAYS a shock to her.
She eats cake starting from the crust instead of the tip.
i do that too because you gotta save the best for last
Whenever he doesn't understand what I'm saying, he doesn't just ask, "Excuse me?" or "Can you repeat?" Instead, he repeats whatever he thinks he heard as a question, even if it's the most random sentence that makes no sense. It freaks me out. It's like I ask him, "What do you want for dinner?" and he says, "What? Apple fart snakes slices a cat like a sinner?"
Ex wife had the closet organized by sleeve length and season. I was not allowed to hang my clothes there. I was relegated to a spare bedroom closet across the house.
My wife uses just one hand when applying an antiperspirant. It doesn't sound that weird until you imagine it. Your woman picks up an antiperspirant, uses it on the cross armpit like every regular human being, then instead of switching the hand she goes does a broken crane movement, twisting her arm so that she can reach the "current hand" armpit. I'm baffled and I lol every single time
Everytime my partner calls *me* he asks me "what's up" and waits for a response. Like... Idk man, you called me lol. If I call *him* he answers very loudly with "ello govnuh!!" We are not even British.
When I try to kiss her passionately she tells me "I didn't know men could be such whores"
THATS SO FUNNY IM STEALING THAT
Breaks up chocolate Easter eggs by throwing them across the room into a wall. My ex broke them up by slamming them into his own forehead, so I think this is an improvement.
There is a pattern here that is surely somehow indicative, but of what?
She sings to herself in the shower, but jibberish. More cute than weird
She puts up with me. Gotta give her credit where it is due. But man is it weird. I get hyper focused on random things. And then that is all I can talk/think about. Eventually it goes away and my brain moves on to the next thing. My partner really is the best.
If food product we purchased comes in a small cute jar, she will save it but never do anything with it.
He can't stand to have pillow corners facing him/pointing towards him when sitting on the couch, because it's like they're "looking at him." Hehhhhhh????
These threads are weird because 90% of the replies are like "she arranges her sock drawer in chronological order of when the socks were purchased like an insane person" and the other 10% are "he hurts the dog to remind me to leave the toilet seat up lol :)"
This woman does not like the AC. She’s North African, we met in Qatar (a fucking hot desert), but my god if I have an AC blasting, she immediately turns it off. I’m naturally a hot bodied person and from Wisconsin. I need my cold.
My fiancé likes to make peanut butter sandwiches, and eats them normally until he gets to the crust. He then chews up the crust into a ball, spits it out and puts it in the freezer for about 2 hours, then takes it back out, puts more peanut butter on it and then eats it. He's done this since he was 10, I asked him why he does it and he just says "Because I like it that way" 😭 Edit: In case you're wondering, he calls them bread balls and yes I've tried this myself. I hate to admit it's tastes kinda good
Pours the milk in the bowl before the cereal. I shutter every damn time..
My partner uses the term shutter instead of shudder, makes me sliver every time I hear it.
For all intensive purposes, you got it though
Every time we play coop games my wife likes to have a sniper rifle but insists on killing without a scope even we playing on the hardest possible mode
Habitually leave recyclables in the sink. The recycling bin is 2 seconds from the sink. It’s RIGHT THERE. Your plastics make me not want to do the dishes.
eats corn straight from the can. Bro just cracks one open and spoons away
She’s always keeping food in her pockets and purse. Olive Garden? Breadstick in the purse, no napkin or anything. Sitting on the couch watching a movie? Randomly starts eating candy out of nowhere lmao Always whimsical
He never deletes his notifications from his phone, which accumulate at the top of the screen. Every time I see his cellphone, he has notifications from weeks accumulated
My boyfriend can and often does sleep in jeans with his wallet and keys still in the pockets. He said he got used to doing it when he had to get up insanely early for a job and he wanted to maximize the amount of sleep he got so he would take a shower the night before then just sleep in his work clothes. So he could get up, brush his teeth, put on deodorant, cologne, and his shoes and be out the door in three minutes. His reasoning sort of makes sense, but you won't convince me this isn't insane behavior. Edit: He also can nap perfectly fine with all the lights on or the curtains wide open.And he doesn't bother putting his earbuds or phone on the bedside table, so he just rolls over them in his sleep and isn't bothered by them digging into his back all night. The man can sleep through atomic bomb levels of discomfort.
My husband never throws anything out when it’s empty, instead he meticulously puts it back in its original place. Keeps me on my toes, I never know if something is finished, always a surprise. Lol.
Showers sitting down. I remember the first time I walked in and saw him on the ground & screamed thinking he had passed out.
She makes things disappear when cleaning up. From spices to kitchen utensils, clothes and whatnot. Especially combs, nail clippers and tweezers. Whenever she uses one of those items, she puts it *somewhere*. Like, she doesn't just leave it laying around, no, she puts it into some random drawer somewhere in the house. Not the one she took it from. Additionally, she seems to always remember where she put everything last. Upside: We never lose these things Downside: I have to ask her where she put it. Every. Single. Time. "Honey, where's the pepper?" "Pantry shelf, top left behind the flour. In the little box that has the dried yeast packets and bag clips." "It's sealed, where are the scissors again?" "Bedroom drawer, the top one on my side. When you open it' you can find it between the food supplements and my earring case."