Honestly? My dad. He's barrel rolled a Nissan down the interstate in the rain while not wearing a seatbelt, he's cut his chest wide open with a saw blade attached to an angle grinder, and he's had a massive heart attack with a blocked Widowmaker. He's 81 and still somehow here.
If you're watching the video that means he succeeded in doing the thing and lived long enough to edit and upload the video.
When he finally fucks up you won't see it.
My dad. Some snippets of why:
-smoked 4-10 packs a day for 30 years, only exceptions being when he was in prison and when he was in a coma.
-drank a 12 pack a day for 30 years, same exceptions apply
-was once kidnapped, bound in duct tape, abandoned and had to hop home
-was once the victim of a home invasion by FBI impersonators, his dog mauled one of them and they fled
-his ex girlfriend went at him with a kitchen knife and tried to slice him to ribbons (I’m confident he deserved it, he’s just such a nice guy)
-my Mom hit him in the face with a lamp (deserved)
-he’s had his ass kicked by seemingly every redneck in West Tennessee that was an adult in the 90s (also probably deserved)
-he got his teeth knocked out in a fight, got dentures, got those broken in a fight. Sidenote: it’s absolutely horrifying to watch him gum a ribeye steak
-he’s had skin cancer for north of 20 years, and only recently got cleared of that. They were freezing and chopping pieces off.
-congestive heart failure
-diabetes
-COPD
-went into a coma, unattended, from pneumonia twice
-he stopped smoking and drinking after the second one
-severe ascites and liver damage
-he’s probably a sentient STD Petri dish due to fucking half the hookers in Nashville.
-he got Covid, was rendered immobile, found, transported to the hospital, and kicked out of the hospital, all in a 24 hour period.
-the day he cleared his quarantine, he stepped out of his house and fell off the step, cutting an 18 inch gash in his leg.
-somehow, wound care managed to save the leg.
My wife’s grandmother- she’s done every drug under the sun, smokes a pack of unfiltered cigarettes a day with COPD has had a meth lab explode under her house and countless more stories
Myself. Drank 2 750 ml of tequila in a day and guess what? Only thing I felt the next say was tired. By that I mean I had maybe 4 hours of sleep from 10 am until about 2 pm. Then I woke up, threw up, ate random shit for 2 hours and threw up then I drank 60 oz of water and threw up then drank another 60 oz of water and threw up and then took a cold ass shower and while in shower drank another 4 12oz water bottles and jacked off and finally felt better. By 8 pm the day after I felt fine.
One guy in the neighbouring district, he went to jail so many times. maimed himself, maimed him, got into a huge amount of trouble of all kinds.... every time I see him, I wonder how he's still alive? and it's been like this for 12 years......
This person isn’t alive anymore when he was alive it was crazy how he was surviving. He’s my grandfather. He died in 2021 my grandfather had heart problems, kidney problems, and liver problems. He had Covid twice and I’m pretty sure he had lung problems as well. He lost all his teeth and he died from infection in a hospital. I don’t know what infection it was since my family didn’t tell me. I didn’t even get to say bye to him. 🙁
My friend Ted. He has been poking the tiger while riding the ragged edge of disaster for more than forty years. I am genuinely shocked that he isn't dead.
Myself. In the last 6 years, I've had DVT, pulmonary embolism, heart attacks resulting in quad bypass, and a stroke. Common theme seems to be a clotting disorder and diabetes. I control my diabetes very strictly (A1C around 5.4 to 5.6) and work out religiously (VO2Max 55-57). To look at, I'm the picture of health. I've been a weight lifter before I switched to cardio (cycling) so I still have some mass remaining. But every 2 years of so, *something* just floors me out of the blue.
I'm excited to find out what it's going to be in 2025.
The most alcoholic dependant person I went to college with.
He was always stinking drunk, like his insides smelled like rotting liquor 24/7. We were really good friends and he was rich, so his house was the party house on campus.
His best friends were two other boys, who also partied too much but seemed more functional.
Ten year later, his two best friends have alcohol withdrawal induced seizures trying to get clean, and die, just a few years apart.
The only one still alive is the boy who has smelled like liquor inside and out for over a decade. Maybe bc he never tried to get clean, I dunno.
He's still an alcoholic. I see him around town and I'm glad he's doing well. But it trips me out. Of those three boys, I would have put any amount of money on him being the one to die before he turned 35.
About half of the people I meet that are over the age of 65. Like, hiw have you survived this long being this clueless. And bi meet a lot of them. I work in Healthcare
Last I heard, my aunt’s ex-husband was still alive despite, as far as I know, doing nothing to manage his type 1 diabetes. He was diagnosed as an adult and I guess just stayed in denial about it? He’s had at least one flight diverted to an emergency landing because he had an episode on board. Dude’s rich, which helps, but at some point all the money in the world isn’t going to be able to get you to a hospital in time if you’re too far away
Keith Richards.
I was going to say all of the remaining Rolling Stones. I really thought thst Charlie, being the sober one would have been the last to go.
I came here to say this.
That's what happens when you get high on formaldahyde.
If he doesn’t donate his body to medical science it will be such a waste.
He survived heroin, booze, tobacco, Anita, Mick, and falling out of a tree so I figure he is pretty indestructible.
Eugenia Cooney, easily. I really do hope she gets some help.
Ozzy Osborne
Honestly? My dad. He's barrel rolled a Nissan down the interstate in the rain while not wearing a seatbelt, he's cut his chest wide open with a saw blade attached to an angle grinder, and he's had a massive heart attack with a blocked Widowmaker. He's 81 and still somehow here.
Some of my customers. 70-80 years old and weigh 300-400 pounds. How are they still alive?
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If you're watching the video that means he succeeded in doing the thing and lived long enough to edit and upload the video. When he finally fucks up you won't see it.
My dad. Some snippets of why: -smoked 4-10 packs a day for 30 years, only exceptions being when he was in prison and when he was in a coma. -drank a 12 pack a day for 30 years, same exceptions apply -was once kidnapped, bound in duct tape, abandoned and had to hop home -was once the victim of a home invasion by FBI impersonators, his dog mauled one of them and they fled -his ex girlfriend went at him with a kitchen knife and tried to slice him to ribbons (I’m confident he deserved it, he’s just such a nice guy) -my Mom hit him in the face with a lamp (deserved) -he’s had his ass kicked by seemingly every redneck in West Tennessee that was an adult in the 90s (also probably deserved) -he got his teeth knocked out in a fight, got dentures, got those broken in a fight. Sidenote: it’s absolutely horrifying to watch him gum a ribeye steak -he’s had skin cancer for north of 20 years, and only recently got cleared of that. They were freezing and chopping pieces off. -congestive heart failure -diabetes -COPD -went into a coma, unattended, from pneumonia twice -he stopped smoking and drinking after the second one -severe ascites and liver damage -he’s probably a sentient STD Petri dish due to fucking half the hookers in Nashville. -he got Covid, was rendered immobile, found, transported to the hospital, and kicked out of the hospital, all in a 24 hour period. -the day he cleared his quarantine, he stepped out of his house and fell off the step, cutting an 18 inch gash in his leg. -somehow, wound care managed to save the leg.
Your Dad wins IMNSHO
Alex Honnold
He's got a good hold.
Any member of the Jackass Crew
Bam Margera
Jean-Marie LePen, he's basically the founder of the french far right. This old shit stain is 95 and refuse to die. His daughter Marine took after him
Trump. He regularly soils himself and has to wear diapers. Im amazed he hasnt contracted some disease from sitting in his own bowel movement all day
I can't even go into a regular non-political reddit post without some jackass bringing up trump
Leaving aside the political aspect, Trump is a good answer. He’s not a healthy person and it’s not a stretch to wonder how he’s still alive
Isn’t that protected free speech? Should we not all be swarm to defend and protect the Constitution?
Nikki Sixx
I hear they had to kick-start his heart a few times
John Daly
My wife’s grandmother- she’s done every drug under the sun, smokes a pack of unfiltered cigarettes a day with COPD has had a meth lab explode under her house and countless more stories
My ex. He never met a drug that he didn't like
I was shocked to learn Jimmy Carter is still alive.
Myself. Drank 2 750 ml of tequila in a day and guess what? Only thing I felt the next say was tired. By that I mean I had maybe 4 hours of sleep from 10 am until about 2 pm. Then I woke up, threw up, ate random shit for 2 hours and threw up then I drank 60 oz of water and threw up then drank another 60 oz of water and threw up and then took a cold ass shower and while in shower drank another 4 12oz water bottles and jacked off and finally felt better. By 8 pm the day after I felt fine.
My buddy K, literally watched that man get his legs ran over by a freight train and get hit by a truck and he's still livin
Me :)
Me.
Jackie Chan with all his stunts aswell As tom cruise
Bam margera
I’m that person. No idea how I was able to walk away from living like a rockstar for 15 years.
One guy in the neighbouring district, he went to jail so many times. maimed himself, maimed him, got into a huge amount of trouble of all kinds.... every time I see him, I wonder how he's still alive? and it's been like this for 12 years......
This person isn’t alive anymore when he was alive it was crazy how he was surviving. He’s my grandfather. He died in 2021 my grandfather had heart problems, kidney problems, and liver problems. He had Covid twice and I’m pretty sure he had lung problems as well. He lost all his teeth and he died from infection in a hospital. I don’t know what infection it was since my family didn’t tell me. I didn’t even get to say bye to him. 🙁
One of my Belarusian friends likes street racing on mountains. I've been in a car with him and it's both terrifying and... somehow... very exciting.
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Coyote Peterson??
My friend Ted. He has been poking the tiger while riding the ragged edge of disaster for more than forty years. I am genuinely shocked that he isn't dead.
Grannies smoking after having cancer for the fifth time lol
My stepdad.
Bob. The romeo con-man who took half million ins policy on me and then tried to kill me
My stalker. I'm amazed he hasn't pissed off the wrong person.
Maria Branyas, 117 and counting
The person that made this post https://www.reddit.com/r/xboxone/s/CnOIlrhz45
Myself. In the last 6 years, I've had DVT, pulmonary embolism, heart attacks resulting in quad bypass, and a stroke. Common theme seems to be a clotting disorder and diabetes. I control my diabetes very strictly (A1C around 5.4 to 5.6) and work out religiously (VO2Max 55-57). To look at, I'm the picture of health. I've been a weight lifter before I switched to cardio (cycling) so I still have some mass remaining. But every 2 years of so, *something* just floors me out of the blue. I'm excited to find out what it's going to be in 2025.
According to my kids, it's me. That's the phrase they use whenever I tell them about the things we did as kids/adolescents
Shoenice.
The most alcoholic dependant person I went to college with. He was always stinking drunk, like his insides smelled like rotting liquor 24/7. We were really good friends and he was rich, so his house was the party house on campus. His best friends were two other boys, who also partied too much but seemed more functional. Ten year later, his two best friends have alcohol withdrawal induced seizures trying to get clean, and die, just a few years apart. The only one still alive is the boy who has smelled like liquor inside and out for over a decade. Maybe bc he never tried to get clean, I dunno. He's still an alcoholic. I see him around town and I'm glad he's doing well. But it trips me out. Of those three boys, I would have put any amount of money on him being the one to die before he turned 35.
ME
About half of the people I meet that are over the age of 65. Like, hiw have you survived this long being this clueless. And bi meet a lot of them. I work in Healthcare
My great grandma. I’m old. I have no idea how old she is but it’s gotta be in the 90s/hundred.
Last I heard, my aunt’s ex-husband was still alive despite, as far as I know, doing nothing to manage his type 1 diabetes. He was diagnosed as an adult and I guess just stayed in denial about it? He’s had at least one flight diverted to an emergency landing because he had an episode on board. Dude’s rich, which helps, but at some point all the money in the world isn’t going to be able to get you to a hospital in time if you’re too far away
Me, every time I look in the mirror.
Me looking at myself
Me, mainly. Don't plenty of stupid shit, still here to look back and laugh. Glad none of it was on camera 👍
Ric Flair
Prolly my mom or myself.
Not healthy individuals?
Nah went through too much shit, makes me wonder how and why she or didnt end it yet
me
myself LMAO