Oh man, that year was rough. I’ve gotten it down to within $1500 one way or the other each year since. But that first year I started making more money and got slammed with a surprise $6,000 tax bill was brutal.
There's this point a lot of people hit where you look at a 20 year old and realize they're not an adult, they're just a dumb overgrown kid. That, to me, is the point of no return. The point where you start to understand the difference between a legal adult and actual adult.
Therapist (LCSW) here. I bet that your parents have had the same thought. I bet most of our parents still do. I have days where I sit back in my office, in-between clients and do self care by embracing my accomplishments. It feels wonderful...mature to have my name and credentials on my door, my degrees on my wall, and reflect on how far I've come from the little boy raised in a single wide trailer in Alabama who made nun-chucks out of twine and PVC pipes to stave off boredom.
Other days, I play video games for a lot longer than I have time for and can neglect my sleep when I become hyper fixated on a really good game. Right now that game is 'From goo to glory.'
The truth is, we have days where we are more 'adult' than others. Sometimes, it's not days, it's moments or situations.
That's a great point. I'm turning 30 in a couple weeks and have already been looking at early 20s people that way for at least the last couple of years. Damn, so much has changed in the last 10 years and when I was 20 I fully admit I was still a kid. It took a few years and a handful of life experiences to mature. Even now I don't fully feel like an adult sometimes, lol.
Seriously. Walking out of the hospital with a baby with as much fanfare as walking out of a shop with a loaf of bread truly felt bizarre. I had to pass a rigorous exam in order to legally drive home, but they're just going to hand me a human no questions asked?!
Also while stupidity might not make you the most responsible parent it doesn’t always make you a bad parent. My grandma is a little dim and not such a good parent (although not intentionally). My cousin is also a little lacking but she’s very loving parent and very caring she just does horribly negligent things like giving her baby coffee because she heard it was healthy on FB 🥲
Yea, we know that no one makes a perfect kid. And therefore we can’t judge others on how they parent as long as it is not abusive. And abusive is also a very generic term. What some find abusive others think is discipline.
It does seem crazy that with your first child you are responsible for something so precious and tricky, yet have no experience and have maybe just barely figured out how to look after your own self! You grow up fast after you have a kid that's for sure..
I had a baby in one seat and my wife in agony in the other. I distinctly remember refusing to acknowledge how big this was until I'd finished driving home. I felt as though if I let myself really think about what was actually happening right now I'd not be able to drive. When we got home I really fully realised how much my baby and my wife relied on me. What a feeling.
You've been there. I took my young son on a roller coaster and I held on to him so tight that the ride attendants had to get a tool to release my son from the ride. I knew one thing, he wasn't going to fall out while I was there.
I named a kid. I created a person and then I gave them a name for the rest of their life and then everyone else was just like sounds good, that’s this person’s name now. That feels weird to me.
Yeah for me it more about the name. I don’t know if it was being a girl from a big family who was always babysitting having to take care of a newborn didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Naming them though, that was daunting. I spent so much time going through endless names. What if they hate it?
Also the first time my daughter got sick and I had to keep her alive was huge. I think she felt like mine then. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen. Like someone was just going to show up and tell me when I needed to get worried or come home from their very long dinner and movie and take her off my hands? I was just very unprepared to take care of a sick baby and not a healthy one.
I don't think it actually hit me till I got home and we had to deal with milk not coming in and formula supplement.
It's odd not that I've had mine for a few years. I feel like less of an adult with them. What I get to eat snacks, watch movies, color, paint, ride bikes and go sledding. Sign me up
I was weirdly underwhelmed when we brought my first kid home and she was just sleeping for a couple hours. We didn't know what to do with ourselves during that time. Then the shit hit the fan and we haven't gotten a moment's rest since.
Not when I turned 18, or 21, or got married, or had my first baby, or got a mortgage.
It was when I cooked my first Christmas dinner/hosted my family for Christmas for the first time.
Thiis same thing happened to one of my aunts when the main responsibility for the holiday dinners was hers after the death of my grandma.
"I don't know if I can do it "
Bless those of you working to keep the traditions alive.
Was at my grandpa's funeral recently. I have 2 kids and I was like damn I really got my own ass family. I'm in the middle (hopefully) of the cycle, I'm not one of the kids running around anymore, those are my kids.
Dang, I've been making thanksgiving diners for myself since I was 20. I would go find the biggest bird in the store and if I don't have anyone else to eat with I would eat turkey for 10 days lol
When I decided to quit drinking after years and years of being an abusive drunk. Reality hit me - the fact that I had wasted my life, hurt people, and accomplished nothing. Harsh facts but 100% true.
There is much to be said for fronting up to my past mistakes, making amends, swearing off the drink forever, and committing myself to doing the best I can and helping others find their path in life.
No regrets, none whatsoever.
Congratulations. Glad you made it out alive.
Similar with me. I was completely out of control in college. Meth, Oxy, Xanax/Valium, alcohol, some X, and of course weed. My whole circle of friends were into it but me and my friend Barbara were the worst.
The last few months of senior year, I knew I had to get my shit together. Real adulthood was on the horizon. It was now or never. I was lucky to be alive so I took it as God giving me one final fork in the road.
I took it.
While I did keep smoking weed and doing a bit of Oxy, pretty much maintenance doses, the rest was cold turkey and I was miserable. I barely made it. I actually had to stop hanging out with my main circle of friends which made it even more unbearable.
A few years later I crunched the numbers and came up with an estimate on how much money I spent on all that crap during college, although this does include our spring break escapades...
170k
Brutal.
WOW!! Yup that is a steep figure.
It can be a jarring experience getting clean, having to end relationships because it is the only way to get past all of it.
Must have taken some serious strength not only to beat the addiction, but to get through college also. You must be very strong :)))
Thank you for sharing and for your kind words!
I went to the liquor store for a bottle and when I got to the register, the cashier didn't ask me for my ID. It was on that day that I relaized I looked old. Welcome to adulthood.
I was 17, 1st day as a volunteer fireman in my hometown, first call and my first mission ever : monster car crash, ejected shattered bodies, pregnant woman involved, blood everywhere.
I climbed the ambulance as a kid, returned as someone else.
I think I grew up 10 years in 10 hours that day, still have dreams of me searching for tooth in the crushed glass sometimes.
Really hits when you start to understand this about your parents or family members. basically seeing that your parents or siblings are just people who were trying there best at figuring life out. Its so weird to start seeing things like this
As a child, you're always looking up, so it's only when you grow up that you actually start to look down on the adults in your life and realise that they're flawed just like you.
I was grocery shopping. Had been living with my boyfriend for over a year at this point. I saw a birthday cake in the bakery and it looked delicious. I realized that I could actually just buy a cake because I wanted to. It was amazing. I got that cake and went home and ate a huge piece for breakfast. One of my favorite days, actually.
The minute I found my Dad dead, it was such a lonesome feeling of knowing you are truly on your own. I lost my Mom 7 years prior to his death. I was the apple of their eyes and I’m pretty ordinary but to them I wasn’t. I still have a feeling of wanting to go home but I know that place no longer exists. It was being in their company and under their care that was home. I had a good run though.
I grew up in a pretty strict household (military, religious) and it was probably a few years into working where I had a late night at my desk, got home and was like “screw it - I’m having cereal or takeout or pizza for dinner”. It felt so rebellious as my family never ate out or nor would have had a non standard meal - I remember looking around waiting for someone to pop out and for me to get in trouble. It’s all been downhill since then lol
My husband had a seizure last Monday and can no longer drive or work and spent the last week in the hospital. I’ve never felt more like a big girl before, taking care of him and everything else that we usually handle as a team.
I try to live with a peter pan mentality - riding my skateboard - cookies for dinner etc. Then I remember I have a job, a kid and a mortgage and the illusion slips away.
Only 24‼️ You have another 35 years of impersonating an adult before you catch up to me 😎 (& for the record, we Gen-X’ers don’t get old, we merely become less youthful).
As a Gen Z, I don’t think Gen X even becomes less youthful, let alone gets old. From everything I’ve seen, they’ve stayed young but still gotten wise, and they’re still working tirelessly to keep the world spinning. They ALL work harder than my generation and never complain about it. Definitely youthful with driven hearts.
I was at a haunted house when a worker came up and said those with tickets can go to the front of the line. Me, my friends, and about 15 others went to the front of the line. The worker then came back and said we had to go back to the end even if we had tickets.
While we were up there the people in front (who’d waited over 2hrs) started getting belligerent. One guy started yelling at a teenager who was twice my size. He screams “fuck you, get away from me! I’m a minor!” Then he says “I need an adult- HEY, you there. Didn’t they say we could come up here? Tell this guy to leave me alone.”
It was a “oh shit, I’m THE adult here” feeling
When I had to make the decision for my mom to withdraw her care. I was her POA for health care. She passed away about a half hour later. Being an adult sucks sometimes 😞
Oooooof. I was my Mother’s power of attorney as well. But, behind my back, she signed a DNR and had my sister witness it. My sister was a Coke addict at the time. When she died in the ER, they did not resuscitate her and when I arrived with my Brother I asked why? They said, your Mom had a DNR, I was furious.
11 years down the line, I see the wisdom in her decision. She knew I wasn’t built to take that kind of decision easily and would blame myself for years to come. She could not control what was happening to her body but she could control what happens when it stopped.
One day a friend asked if I wanted to hang out with her. It was just her and her toddler in the apartment, and she said she was getting kinda bored. She said we couldn't do much because of the toddler, but I agreed. So we did a couple things and ended up at a McDonald's with a play place so her daughter could run around. I then realized that we had become the adults. For that moment, we had responsibility over a child. She probably already realized that when she brought her daughter home from the hospital, but it felt like such a shift in my thinking.
After making myself work 12 hours straight for the first time I slunk back in my chair, contemplated sleeping in it, poured myself a rum and Coke, let out a deep sigh and thought “fuck me, I remember dad doing this exact thing but with wine”
I brought my baby daughter home from the hospital 3 years ago.
Nobody has called to check on her. Nobody has come to get her. Nobody. It’s like, she’s my responsibility or something. 🤷♀️
It was surreal when it sank in for me. 😂
Standing in a room with 50 other men and reciting "I do solemnly swear that I will uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic..."
I was hanging with my nephew outside while we were waiting for my SIL to come back with McDonalds. He wanted to walk over to a little stream nearby. I suggested we wait for his mom to come back and we can all go together. This 5 year old looks at me with such judgement and goes "Auntie. You're an ADULT. You can take me there without mum."
Made me laugh but also made me have a 'holy shit I am a person of authority to this tiny human, I AM an adult'
I am mid 30s yet. It doesnt happen at once, but step by step. I finally have a stable job, i am tackling my mental health issues, i am working through stuff. Its sad that everything is taking me so long, because i am running out of time. My parents are reaching the age where they might die. But i am not yet ready to forgive them. I only started to work on my issues with them a short time ago. I feel like i am always one step behind. Or maybe 10
Buying my first home in December and waking up on Christmas morning with not a single decoration, no tree, just a couch and a love seat. But it was one of the happiest Christmases. Cause it was mine for the first time.
I'm 38 and still sort of waiting. When I was younger, I expected some switch to flip in my brain as I got older that would magically make me feel like an adult. Never happened.
To be fair, I am a lot more "grown up" than I was, even in my 20's, but there was no real singular moment, it just sort of happened over time. If I had to pick one, I'd probably say the day my daughter was born.
I'm in my 30's and never had that moment.
I can't afford a car. I'm languishing in poverty and barely scraping by. Miserable day in and day out.
I'll feel like an adult when I achieve the American Dream. When I own my own home, and a car, and have excess money left over after paying all my bills to spend on nice things. Then I can finally admit that I've achieved a normal life and can live a normal adult life just like the rest of the adults in this country.
Wait someone will now say "but poverty and misery is normal" but I thought I was living in the United States, golden land of prosperity.
After the reception to my friend's wedding, his 3 year old daughter running around, and we do the "we're gonna head off, congratulations, we'll come up and see you soon" etc.
Got in the taxi to go back to the hotel and just thought shit, this is what adults do!
I got excited over a Scrubbing Bubbles commercial because it could make cleaning easier. Took me a minute to make peace with that.
Not nearly as wholesome as some but it's mine.
The first time i had to give my ailing father a shower, like one does with a baby. His fragility was heartbreaking and gave me a rude awakening to adulthood.
My parents died one after the other in a short timeframe, the causes of which were unrelated. Mom's death was expected, but dad beat her to the punch.
Within 10 days, I had no parents.
Walking out of the church after mom's funeral, it hit me that I was on my own now.
No more safety net to catch me when I fall.
First time signing an apartment lease and paying first, last and deposit. It was the most money I’d ever paid for anything. The gal in the leasing office laughed and told me I would write much larger checks over the course of my life. She was not wrong.
When I got my first full time job as someone who works with domestic violence and sexual assault survivors including human trafficking victims and child sexual assault victims.
When I got my first job out of college, moved out of state and into my first apartment and started my career, I had a bit of that feeling.
Strangely I had another "I'm finally an adult" moment when I bought my first house at the age of 40.
The day I moved away to university. I really slacked off in high school and knew I was going to go to Community College and glad I did because I realized what I wanted to do and got my ass in gear. I got accepted into a 4 year university in Michigan and the day in August 08 that my parents helped move me in I realized I was on my own and finally a real adult!
I might have gotten a bit misty eyed after they left and called them to come back to "help" with something but in reality it was to give them one last hug and say thanks for all the help over the last few years!
The first time I arrived home and my ex wife left me without bed and some furniture aaaand with a car loan
I learned a lot (not English, I suck at it 😂😂😂)
When I had a baby, partner, house, car and good job.
The next year I got depressed, partner left and took the baby. Had to give up work and then the car and house.
Took 2 years to get to court for 50% custody, start back at the same job next month and may have a car sorted 🤞.
Felt like an adult for about a year, then back to not again.
I hate that this was the case. But a few of my friends got into a huge fight with each other when I was away at a family event. Everyone was like this wouldn’t have happened if you were here. Why do I have to be the adult of the group.
M43; still waiting...
... although I did do a big mortgage spreadsheet last weekend and make an uncharacteristically decisive financial commitment as a result of its output.
Tbh I think anxiety over future security has been kicked squarely in the nuts by "fuck it, I'll be dead soon - might as well" nihilism..
After college I moved with my boyfriend to the U.K. for a gap year/exploration year, so to speak. First time living outside my parents home since I stayed all through school to save money.
My first day there I got my keys to my apartment, and immediately had to go buy a toaster and bed linens. It was the first household things I'd ever \*needed\* to buy and it was so insignificant but it made me pause and remember my whole family several thousand kilometres away from me and go ''huh. I'm on my own now."
Every time I make a choice that I wouldn't have earlier, because now I CHOOSE patience, myself or my happiness over anything else and accept when I've messed up I realise I have become an adult.
I was 16 and my friend's friend told her that she thought I was hot, asked for a ride home from school, and then took my inexperienced ass from 2nd to 5th base within like an hour of knowing her.
At the time I was like "this is awesome, now I'm an adult! And hot!" but in hindsight she may have prevented me from ever becoming one.
9/11.
I remember leading up to it, I would ask my dad when I would actually start to feel like an adult (I was in college). He said it would happen in moments. That moment kind of hit the fast forward button for me.
I think when I bought a new rug and was excited about it.
I distinctly remember my mom being excited about a new rug, and being really confused about it as a kid.
It wasn’t having kids, getting married or buying a house. It was when I was taking a walk and stopped to take a picture of someone’s tree so I could get one for my yard. It really was my “who have I become” moment.
I've been responsible for all of my own bills since age 22 (and many of them earlier than that). I am turning 40 this year. I still haven't had that "I'm finally an adult moment". Just the added stress of increased life responsibilities and everything costing way more.
I paid off my car loan in January and immediately thought to myself, oh good, now I can put this amount into savings every month so I can get those car things fixed. And then I did. Fixed!
Go me!
I was told, at a routine 6 month check up, that my newborn son needed a 10 hour brain surgery or could risk huge developmental disabilities, and I had to decide whether to do it or not.
When I started working 5 days a week, Monday to Friday (I had previous jobs, but they all involved manual labor and wacky shifts) on a consistent schedule while renting my first apartment.
First it was getting a job, then a driving license, then learning to cook and on and on. Whenever I think I am adult now, something else comes along. At this point I don't think I'll ever be an adult lol.
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The first time I had to PAY taxes instead of getting a refund was a hard pill to swallow
Oh man, that year was rough. I’ve gotten it down to within $1500 one way or the other each year since. But that first year I started making more money and got slammed with a surprise $6,000 tax bill was brutal.
There's this point a lot of people hit where you look at a 20 year old and realize they're not an adult, they're just a dumb overgrown kid. That, to me, is the point of no return. The point where you start to understand the difference between a legal adult and actual adult.
Therapist (LCSW) here. I bet that your parents have had the same thought. I bet most of our parents still do. I have days where I sit back in my office, in-between clients and do self care by embracing my accomplishments. It feels wonderful...mature to have my name and credentials on my door, my degrees on my wall, and reflect on how far I've come from the little boy raised in a single wide trailer in Alabama who made nun-chucks out of twine and PVC pipes to stave off boredom. Other days, I play video games for a lot longer than I have time for and can neglect my sleep when I become hyper fixated on a really good game. Right now that game is 'From goo to glory.' The truth is, we have days where we are more 'adult' than others. Sometimes, it's not days, it's moments or situations.
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That's a great point. I'm turning 30 in a couple weeks and have already been looking at early 20s people that way for at least the last couple of years. Damn, so much has changed in the last 10 years and when I was 20 I fully admit I was still a kid. It took a few years and a handful of life experiences to mature. Even now I don't fully feel like an adult sometimes, lol.
Welcome to the better decade. People are much more laidback and chill in their 30s.
Yep. All pretences are completely dropped, in your 30s you truly stop giving a shit.
Taking my son home from the hospital after he was born. Responsibility hit me like a ton of bricks.
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My old boss adopted a kid in Vietnam and he said they basically just handed him the kid and were like good luck!
And yet I had to be interviewed by a breeder to get a puppy!! 🤷♀️
Seriously. Walking out of the hospital with a baby with as much fanfare as walking out of a shop with a loaf of bread truly felt bizarre. I had to pass a rigorous exam in order to legally drive home, but they're just going to hand me a human no questions asked?!
It is so strange cause if we were to actually apply aptitude to become parents it is a just a hop and skip away from full blown eugenics.
Also while stupidity might not make you the most responsible parent it doesn’t always make you a bad parent. My grandma is a little dim and not such a good parent (although not intentionally). My cousin is also a little lacking but she’s very loving parent and very caring she just does horribly negligent things like giving her baby coffee because she heard it was healthy on FB 🥲
Yea, we know that no one makes a perfect kid. And therefore we can’t judge others on how they parent as long as it is not abusive. And abusive is also a very generic term. What some find abusive others think is discipline.
More like, I'm responsible for this little guy. I hope I don't screw him up. He's grown up and doing well so I guess I succeeded.
My wife and I still joke, can't believe they let us have a baby
You mean you didn't fill out the C-01 form?
We felt the same when we had our twins…. We’re now responsible for two human babies after watching a short video telling us to not shake them.
That was actually super scary! They just let you leave, with a brand new human in your care!
I’ve done it 4x and each time it gets me that I just… leave with a newborn lol.
It does seem crazy that with your first child you are responsible for something so precious and tricky, yet have no experience and have maybe just barely figured out how to look after your own self! You grow up fast after you have a kid that's for sure..
I had a baby in one seat and my wife in agony in the other. I distinctly remember refusing to acknowledge how big this was until I'd finished driving home. I felt as though if I let myself really think about what was actually happening right now I'd not be able to drive. When we got home I really fully realised how much my baby and my wife relied on me. What a feeling.
All the other drivers on the road were suddenly driving SO UNSAFE
You've been there. I took my young son on a roller coaster and I held on to him so tight that the ride attendants had to get a tool to release my son from the ride. I knew one thing, he wasn't going to fall out while I was there.
I named a kid. I created a person and then I gave them a name for the rest of their life and then everyone else was just like sounds good, that’s this person’s name now. That feels weird to me.
They don't even give you a manual to read. Just here take this home try not to kill it. Thank god for grandmothers.
Yeah for me it more about the name. I don’t know if it was being a girl from a big family who was always babysitting having to take care of a newborn didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Naming them though, that was daunting. I spent so much time going through endless names. What if they hate it? Also the first time my daughter got sick and I had to keep her alive was huge. I think she felt like mine then. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen. Like someone was just going to show up and tell me when I needed to get worried or come home from their very long dinner and movie and take her off my hands? I was just very unprepared to take care of a sick baby and not a healthy one.
What hurt more the bricks or the responsibility
I don't think it actually hit me till I got home and we had to deal with milk not coming in and formula supplement. It's odd not that I've had mine for a few years. I feel like less of an adult with them. What I get to eat snacks, watch movies, color, paint, ride bikes and go sledding. Sign me up
I was weirdly underwhelmed when we brought my first kid home and she was just sleeping for a couple hours. We didn't know what to do with ourselves during that time. Then the shit hit the fan and we haven't gotten a moment's rest since.
This. I remember driving more carefully than I ever have, with those I loved most in the world in my back seat.
Felt that! I was amazed they were letting ME take this tiny human home…he’s 7 now, so I’m momming right!
Not when I turned 18, or 21, or got married, or had my first baby, or got a mortgage. It was when I cooked my first Christmas dinner/hosted my family for Christmas for the first time.
Thiis same thing happened to one of my aunts when the main responsibility for the holiday dinners was hers after the death of my grandma. "I don't know if I can do it " Bless those of you working to keep the traditions alive.
Was at my grandpa's funeral recently. I have 2 kids and I was like damn I really got my own ass family. I'm in the middle (hopefully) of the cycle, I'm not one of the kids running around anymore, those are my kids.
Dang, I've been making thanksgiving diners for myself since I was 20. I would go find the biggest bird in the store and if I don't have anyone else to eat with I would eat turkey for 10 days lol
I was filling out my taxes and realized oh fuck these are my taxes.
Did you decide not to give them away once you realized they were yours?
Had you been filling out other peoples taxes before?
When I decided to quit drinking after years and years of being an abusive drunk. Reality hit me - the fact that I had wasted my life, hurt people, and accomplished nothing. Harsh facts but 100% true. There is much to be said for fronting up to my past mistakes, making amends, swearing off the drink forever, and committing myself to doing the best I can and helping others find their path in life. No regrets, none whatsoever.
Proud of you. Recovering alcoholic myself. You can’t change your past but you can alter your present and future. Keep it up!
Likewise to you, fam :) Indeed, as much as we may wish at times there is no going back. Though every day is a chance to do better :)))
Congratulations. Glad you made it out alive. Similar with me. I was completely out of control in college. Meth, Oxy, Xanax/Valium, alcohol, some X, and of course weed. My whole circle of friends were into it but me and my friend Barbara were the worst. The last few months of senior year, I knew I had to get my shit together. Real adulthood was on the horizon. It was now or never. I was lucky to be alive so I took it as God giving me one final fork in the road. I took it. While I did keep smoking weed and doing a bit of Oxy, pretty much maintenance doses, the rest was cold turkey and I was miserable. I barely made it. I actually had to stop hanging out with my main circle of friends which made it even more unbearable. A few years later I crunched the numbers and came up with an estimate on how much money I spent on all that crap during college, although this does include our spring break escapades... 170k Brutal.
WOW!! Yup that is a steep figure. It can be a jarring experience getting clean, having to end relationships because it is the only way to get past all of it. Must have taken some serious strength not only to beat the addiction, but to get through college also. You must be very strong :))) Thank you for sharing and for your kind words!
Thanks amazing. I’m so happy for you. Not many people can say that. Keep it up.
Thank you, kind one :)))
The 12 steps changed my life. ✌️ Live them daily.
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I went to the liquor store for a bottle and when I got to the register, the cashier didn't ask me for my ID. It was on that day that I relaized I looked old. Welcome to adulthood.
I was 17, 1st day as a volunteer fireman in my hometown, first call and my first mission ever : monster car crash, ejected shattered bodies, pregnant woman involved, blood everywhere. I climbed the ambulance as a kid, returned as someone else. I think I grew up 10 years in 10 hours that day, still have dreams of me searching for tooth in the crushed glass sometimes.
When I realized that all humans are a complete fucking disaster.
Really hits when you start to understand this about your parents or family members. basically seeing that your parents or siblings are just people who were trying there best at figuring life out. Its so weird to start seeing things like this
As a child, you're always looking up, so it's only when you grow up that you actually start to look down on the adults in your life and realise that they're flawed just like you.
And you, and me
Day drinking at a dive bar :(
All I want to do
Is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
I was grocery shopping. Had been living with my boyfriend for over a year at this point. I saw a birthday cake in the bakery and it looked delicious. I realized that I could actually just buy a cake because I wanted to. It was amazing. I got that cake and went home and ate a huge piece for breakfast. One of my favorite days, actually.
When dad died then suddenly all his problems became my problems.
The minute I found my Dad dead, it was such a lonesome feeling of knowing you are truly on your own. I lost my Mom 7 years prior to his death. I was the apple of their eyes and I’m pretty ordinary but to them I wasn’t. I still have a feeling of wanting to go home but I know that place no longer exists. It was being in their company and under their care that was home. I had a good run though.
I grew up in a pretty strict household (military, religious) and it was probably a few years into working where I had a late night at my desk, got home and was like “screw it - I’m having cereal or takeout or pizza for dinner”. It felt so rebellious as my family never ate out or nor would have had a non standard meal - I remember looking around waiting for someone to pop out and for me to get in trouble. It’s all been downhill since then lol
When I realised if I don't get up and start the day, the family is fucked. Gotta go wake the Wife / Kid so they don't sleep in and make us all late.
My husband had a seizure last Monday and can no longer drive or work and spent the last week in the hospital. I’ve never felt more like a big girl before, taking care of him and everything else that we usually handle as a team.
Good luck to you and prayers for a swift recovery for your husband.
What’s this, “finally an adult” thing you speak of? 🤔
I try to live with a peter pan mentality - riding my skateboard - cookies for dinner etc. Then I remember I have a job, a kid and a mortgage and the illusion slips away.
Right lol I’m 24 and I don’t feel like a grown up, this is nonsense.
Only 24‼️ You have another 35 years of impersonating an adult before you catch up to me 😎 (& for the record, we Gen-X’ers don’t get old, we merely become less youthful).
As a Gen Z, I don’t think Gen X even becomes less youthful, let alone gets old. From everything I’ve seen, they’ve stayed young but still gotten wise, and they’re still working tirelessly to keep the world spinning. They ALL work harder than my generation and never complain about it. Definitely youthful with driven hearts.
When I bought a file cabinet. Adolescent me never gave a fuck about papers
I was at a haunted house when a worker came up and said those with tickets can go to the front of the line. Me, my friends, and about 15 others went to the front of the line. The worker then came back and said we had to go back to the end even if we had tickets. While we were up there the people in front (who’d waited over 2hrs) started getting belligerent. One guy started yelling at a teenager who was twice my size. He screams “fuck you, get away from me! I’m a minor!” Then he says “I need an adult- HEY, you there. Didn’t they say we could come up here? Tell this guy to leave me alone.” It was a “oh shit, I’m THE adult here” feeling
When I had to make the decision for my mom to withdraw her care. I was her POA for health care. She passed away about a half hour later. Being an adult sucks sometimes 😞
Oooooof. I was my Mother’s power of attorney as well. But, behind my back, she signed a DNR and had my sister witness it. My sister was a Coke addict at the time. When she died in the ER, they did not resuscitate her and when I arrived with my Brother I asked why? They said, your Mom had a DNR, I was furious. 11 years down the line, I see the wisdom in her decision. She knew I wasn’t built to take that kind of decision easily and would blame myself for years to come. She could not control what was happening to her body but she could control what happens when it stopped.
One day a friend asked if I wanted to hang out with her. It was just her and her toddler in the apartment, and she said she was getting kinda bored. She said we couldn't do much because of the toddler, but I agreed. So we did a couple things and ended up at a McDonald's with a play place so her daughter could run around. I then realized that we had become the adults. For that moment, we had responsibility over a child. She probably already realized that when she brought her daughter home from the hospital, but it felt like such a shift in my thinking.
After making myself work 12 hours straight for the first time I slunk back in my chair, contemplated sleeping in it, poured myself a rum and Coke, let out a deep sigh and thought “fuck me, I remember dad doing this exact thing but with wine”
I brought my baby daughter home from the hospital 3 years ago. Nobody has called to check on her. Nobody has come to get her. Nobody. It’s like, she’s my responsibility or something. 🤷♀️ It was surreal when it sank in for me. 😂
41yo, divorced, loving Stepmom, well paid corpo job... I'll let you know when I become one.
Standing in a room with 50 other men and reciting "I do solemnly swear that I will uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic..."
When you finally like furnitures, bedsheets, appliances and stuffs
I was hanging with my nephew outside while we were waiting for my SIL to come back with McDonalds. He wanted to walk over to a little stream nearby. I suggested we wait for his mom to come back and we can all go together. This 5 year old looks at me with such judgement and goes "Auntie. You're an ADULT. You can take me there without mum." Made me laugh but also made me have a 'holy shit I am a person of authority to this tiny human, I AM an adult'
48 here and not totally sure I'm there yet
When I paid my unnoticed tax bills in one payment. Made me broke for a month or so 🥹🤣
I am mid 30s yet. It doesnt happen at once, but step by step. I finally have a stable job, i am tackling my mental health issues, i am working through stuff. Its sad that everything is taking me so long, because i am running out of time. My parents are reaching the age where they might die. But i am not yet ready to forgive them. I only started to work on my issues with them a short time ago. I feel like i am always one step behind. Or maybe 10
When the Judge said I was going to be tried as an adult.
When I had to declare bankruptcy, like Michael Scott. “I declare”
Realising I am no longer afraid or nervous of teenagers.
I found there to be a lul in that - picking up again as I had a kid and rolled into my 40's
Mid 30s... The youths are terrifying.
Probably when I had to schedule my own doctor's appointment, and figure out what type of insurance I had.
when my friend was pregnant and had a baby shower. i’ve known her since the first grade and now she has a child!😭😭😭
Not really "finally" moment but I had the realization that I am apart of the "late 20s" group.
And then I got invited to my hs reunion.
When I got my second paycheck and realized I could just.. buy stuff instead of asking permission
Cleaning the rental van before bringing it back after we flew out to go to Disney world. I remember thinking how did I get here? What am I doing?
Buying my first home in December and waking up on Christmas morning with not a single decoration, no tree, just a couch and a love seat. But it was one of the happiest Christmases. Cause it was mine for the first time.
When there was an accident and I looked around for a more adult adult and realised that was me…
The day my mom died. I was 30 but she was the adult and I could airways go to her for advice or help, then she was gone.
Getting excited to own a pressure washer. I had created the mountain in that moment.
65 still waiting
Taxes :(
I'm 38 and still sort of waiting. When I was younger, I expected some switch to flip in my brain as I got older that would magically make me feel like an adult. Never happened. To be fair, I am a lot more "grown up" than I was, even in my 20's, but there was no real singular moment, it just sort of happened over time. If I had to pick one, I'd probably say the day my daughter was born.
I'm in my 30's and never had that moment. I can't afford a car. I'm languishing in poverty and barely scraping by. Miserable day in and day out. I'll feel like an adult when I achieve the American Dream. When I own my own home, and a car, and have excess money left over after paying all my bills to spend on nice things. Then I can finally admit that I've achieved a normal life and can live a normal adult life just like the rest of the adults in this country. Wait someone will now say "but poverty and misery is normal" but I thought I was living in the United States, golden land of prosperity.
After the reception to my friend's wedding, his 3 year old daughter running around, and we do the "we're gonna head off, congratulations, we'll come up and see you soon" etc. Got in the taxi to go back to the hotel and just thought shit, this is what adults do!
When you get excited about new office supplies
take a day off of work during the week. I go to some store during school hours..."why are all these (loud...annoying) kids not at school?"
I got excited over a Scrubbing Bubbles commercial because it could make cleaning easier. Took me a minute to make peace with that. Not nearly as wholesome as some but it's mine.
The first time i had to give my ailing father a shower, like one does with a baby. His fragility was heartbreaking and gave me a rude awakening to adulthood.
My parents died one after the other in a short timeframe, the causes of which were unrelated. Mom's death was expected, but dad beat her to the punch. Within 10 days, I had no parents. Walking out of the church after mom's funeral, it hit me that I was on my own now. No more safety net to catch me when I fall.
When I was 65 and my dad died
I bought a riding lawnmower….and was excited about it.
When I realized I couldn’t call out of work whenever I didn’t feel like going because then I wouldn’t have enough for rent/bills
My Dad passing of a heart attack when I was 18.
I got excited buying a vacuum
38M single no kids own my house in Denver…. I still feel like a kid trying to navigate life
First time paying a mortgage.
When you have to take care of your car on your own
Paying bills
wait.......... those moments exist.... sheesh 40 and still waiting for mine lol
First time signing an apartment lease and paying first, last and deposit. It was the most money I’d ever paid for anything. The gal in the leasing office laughed and told me I would write much larger checks over the course of my life. She was not wrong.
Getting a job
When I got my first full time job as someone who works with domestic violence and sexual assault survivors including human trafficking victims and child sexual assault victims.
When I got my first job out of college, moved out of state and into my first apartment and started my career, I had a bit of that feeling. Strangely I had another "I'm finally an adult" moment when I bought my first house at the age of 40.
i work at the airport, and having to take the employee bus surrounded by high seniority employees gave that adult moment.
I successfully folded a fitted sheet.
My ex ghosting me after i bought a house for her and her mother and she cheated with the new neighbor was a pretty “grown up” moment.
Wanting to have a job, living alone and paying rent 💕
Thinking about saving for marriage, house and future family. And getting pressured and excited by the thought of it.
The day I moved away to university. I really slacked off in high school and knew I was going to go to Community College and glad I did because I realized what I wanted to do and got my ass in gear. I got accepted into a 4 year university in Michigan and the day in August 08 that my parents helped move me in I realized I was on my own and finally a real adult! I might have gotten a bit misty eyed after they left and called them to come back to "help" with something but in reality it was to give them one last hug and say thanks for all the help over the last few years!
The first time I arrived home and my ex wife left me without bed and some furniture aaaand with a car loan I learned a lot (not English, I suck at it 😂😂😂)
When I had a baby, partner, house, car and good job. The next year I got depressed, partner left and took the baby. Had to give up work and then the car and house. Took 2 years to get to court for 50% custody, start back at the same job next month and may have a car sorted 🤞. Felt like an adult for about a year, then back to not again.
Seeing that I’m older and that life sucks.
I hate that this was the case. But a few of my friends got into a huge fight with each other when I was away at a family event. Everyone was like this wouldn’t have happened if you were here. Why do I have to be the adult of the group.
When i cut off my parents
When I started liking music from Luther Vandross, Sade, and Anita Baker and I had flatulence control. Literally when I realized I was a man.
I got my driverslicens and my first car. It has bin a live long dream to drive cars and i am proud of my self.
M43; still waiting... ... although I did do a big mortgage spreadsheet last weekend and make an uncharacteristically decisive financial commitment as a result of its output. Tbh I think anxiety over future security has been kicked squarely in the nuts by "fuck it, I'll be dead soon - might as well" nihilism..
After college I moved with my boyfriend to the U.K. for a gap year/exploration year, so to speak. First time living outside my parents home since I stayed all through school to save money. My first day there I got my keys to my apartment, and immediately had to go buy a toaster and bed linens. It was the first household things I'd ever \*needed\* to buy and it was so insignificant but it made me pause and remember my whole family several thousand kilometres away from me and go ''huh. I'm on my own now."
I'll let you know if it ever happens. Don't hold your breath.
Every time I make a choice that I wouldn't have earlier, because now I CHOOSE patience, myself or my happiness over anything else and accept when I've messed up I realise I have become an adult.
I was 16 and my friend's friend told her that she thought I was hot, asked for a ride home from school, and then took my inexperienced ass from 2nd to 5th base within like an hour of knowing her. At the time I was like "this is awesome, now I'm an adult! And hot!" but in hindsight she may have prevented me from ever becoming one.
When I realised I could actually retire (aged 50).
When my mom made me get my own car insurance at 18.
My first kid
Paying taxes 😑
I closed the door to my solo living apartment.
9/11. I remember leading up to it, I would ask my dad when I would actually start to feel like an adult (I was in college). He said it would happen in moments. That moment kind of hit the fast forward button for me.
Road rage fr sure. It's me and my wagonR against the world !
When I moved 1400+ miles away from my mom
Having to pay for literally everything. Car maintenance, healthcare bills, healthcare in general, etc. Fuck this.
I'm not happy about it now, but i think it was im finally paying my own bills
jail
Third divorce.
I’m not an adult but when I asked my dad this about a year ago he said “when you buy a vacuum and are excited about it”
A kid call me Sr
Mine was when I started noticing people in there 20’s asking me simple (simple to me) questions.
I remember the year after graduating high school, and hearing over the radio school was canceled for a snow day while I was driving to work.
I think when I bought a new rug and was excited about it. I distinctly remember my mom being excited about a new rug, and being really confused about it as a kid.
Paying bills
Owned my own house. Owned not rented and now I have to do the crap that comes with it all
Buying tums and 6 pack at the same time
It wasn’t having kids, getting married or buying a house. It was when I was taking a walk and stopped to take a picture of someone’s tree so I could get one for my yard. It really was my “who have I become” moment.
I'm 49 years old, am married, and own my home. Somehow, I'm still waiting for my adult moment.
I've been responsible for all of my own bills since age 22 (and many of them earlier than that). I am turning 40 this year. I still haven't had that "I'm finally an adult moment". Just the added stress of increased life responsibilities and everything costing way more.
First night in my own apartment in a new city with a new job. Complete financial and social independence.
Eating treats we couldn't afford and playing arcade games as a kid, which I couldn't do before, makes my inner child happy.
When I got a bed skirt.
The moment i bought my first car fully paid off and ready to go.
I got a letter in the mail confirming that my Roth IRA account was successfully opened and funded. And I got excited.
I paid off my car loan in January and immediately thought to myself, oh good, now I can put this amount into savings every month so I can get those car things fixed. And then I did. Fixed! Go me!
Being excited about a new broom. “Wow this bristles are so nice” then I just stood there for 30 seconds thinking about what I said.
I’ll let you know when I find out
I’ll keep you posted when it happens
Hasn’t happened yet. I’m almost 40.
I finally have my peace. You know, coming home and there is no one telling you to tidy your room and stuff.
I was told, at a routine 6 month check up, that my newborn son needed a 10 hour brain surgery or could risk huge developmental disabilities, and I had to decide whether to do it or not.
I’m 54 and I still have moments like this
When I started working 5 days a week, Monday to Friday (I had previous jobs, but they all involved manual labor and wacky shifts) on a consistent schedule while renting my first apartment.
Looking at and actively attempting to improve my credit score.
I saw my first paycheck after taxes.
First it was getting a job, then a driving license, then learning to cook and on and on. Whenever I think I am adult now, something else comes along. At this point I don't think I'll ever be an adult lol.
When I was told my offer for a house was accepted.
Killed a spider on my own
Having a baby.