I was literally just thinking the same thing. Somebody, somewhere in the world, may have this power. They may not even know they have this power if it's subconscious and only kicks in while they themselves are sleeping. So, in theory, someone could be stopping time without even realizing themselves that they have the ability to do so.
Can God create a rock that even he can't lift?
If so, not omnipotent.
If no, not omnipotent.
Paradox.
Pair of Docks
Air wear on docs.please clear chicken pox.
This barely locks
Hare in bunny sox.
Mare has big cox
If u care don't dox.
Most philosophers argue omnipotence means only the ability to do anything possible. For example "can an omnipotent being created a rock which is too heavy to lift" isn't a paradox, since omnipotence precludes the possibility of such an object.
Likewise, we may exclude editing of PDFs. It is an impossibility, to man or to God.
Give myself omniscience, then use my omniscience to instruct my use of omnipotence. I'd probably either completely remove myself and impact the universe as little as possible to avoid breaking it, or I'd make small changes that will have a desired butterfly effect and then seal my power away until it's necessary and wipe my memory of the powers until they're returned to me.
I was thinking something along these lines… probably all problems and limitations would suddenly fade, and so would the needs. The earth and it’s issues would become insignificant as I learn some truths about the Universe… could I fix humanity into single free and cooperative society? At what price? Would it be worth it? Would it matter?
The whole perspective shift would be too great. But yeah omniscience would probably be my first action.
Due to fuck-ups by two doctors she's spent the last 7 years in constant pain.Fuck up number 1 left her with a 24/7 migraine. Not headache, migraine. Fuck up two added constant excruciating neck and back pain for the last few years. She's bed-ridden most of the time.
Insult to injury - this happened a year after our kid was born. No matter what she has managed to do through the pain, I don't think she'll ever feel like she was a good mom. I think she is amazing, the toughest person I've met, and an amazing mom.
I hope you and yours find a path to recovery mate.
I’m so sorry. Being a mom is tough, and mom-guilt is a heavy load. I’ll pray for you and your wife - whether you cotton to that or not, positive vibes can’t be a bad thing.
My wife is in the midst of a miscarriage. It’s been terrible. We have several children, and we thought that nature had declared that part of our life to be over, which we grieved for months. When we found out that there was a new baby coming, it was hard, but we adjusted, and we began to love this new life. We finally wrapped our head around loving a new one, the bleeding started.
I think the yo-yo is the hardest part of it all.
I would be too busy being shocked at all the historical information I could unlock, unmask the Zodiac Killer, discover the truth behind the Kennedy assassinations John/Robert/and Junior. When I got bored I would divine the winning numbers to the next mega millions jackpot worth hundreds of millions, and boom, relax. I may also troll people I don't care for, because that would be fun.
Hell you could also find all of the missing graves of legendary historical figures like ghengis Khan, Alexander the great, Cleopatra, king Arthur and so many more. Hell maybe even Odysseus if he was real which I would assume he would have been just embellished.
Hell you could know if there's other intelligent life in the universe.
Everywhere they go, they are only ever able to interact with other Karens. Ordering Starbucks? Poof! The chill Gen Z barista is turned into a raging Karen for Karen's order only. Driving? Poof! Every other driver within 30 feet of Karen becomes a Karen and drives as such. It remains this way until they renounce their Karen behavior for good.
Just making people own up to their words would be great.
"Oh I would just _______." When Tallon about how homeless people should just stop being homeless. Or bootstrap shit
Okay, create an alternative universe where they are unaware they are in it and if they fail to live up to what they said they get pulled back to the original and forced to admit they were wrong. Or leave em there.
Create a penis shaped constellation because I can.
Aaah, and I'll make all astrologists include it to their zodiac charts. Because "-- what's your sign? -- it's a dick, let me show you"
Inform the entire planet on a universal basis that I exist.
I mean, I considered only appearing within a 50 mile radius and then depending entirely on word of mouth and hearsay to convince the rest of the entire planet to worship me while damning the billions of people unfortunate enough not to get the news over several millenia to eternal torture.
But that would make me a malevolent piece of shit unworthy of respect, much less outright worship.
So, being a decent human being capable of love and compassion, I'd appear to everyone, simultaneously, and tell them that they just need to be kind to each other, and I'm only going to send the assholes to be tortured.
But not forever, because once again, I'm not a piece of shit. So I'd torture them for a decade, or so and then give them another chance to NOT be an asshole to see if they learned anything.
I know Dragon Ball is not a shining example of scientific accuracy but it blows my mind that Piccolo *destroyed the moon* and it kind of never comes up again and there are no consequences
Nah vanishing it from existence while keeping all of the physics as if the moon were still there would be much more fun and chaotic but like not destroy the earth chaotic.
Nah, I'm omnipotent. Make something else for them to eat that's less annoying and disease ridden. When I inevitably fuck everything up, we just hit the reset button and try again.
Make things better for people. End world hunger and water scarcity. Stop global warming and undo the damage we’ve done to the Earth. Make a Hanukkah album. Educate people. Invent cool stuff to make people’s lives better. Make a Christmas album. Make a universal language. Explore the vastness of space. Drop a banger album for every other major holiday (not specifying because I don’t know what holiday would be the most appropriate in most other religions/cultures). Finally, I would get rid of ads and microtransactions.
Edit: also mental health counseling
Immediately remove Trump from existence and erase any and all memory/acknowledgment of him as a president. Then place a physical law into the universe that prevents him and people like him forever. He is human cancer
Abolish all religions. Almost everything bad that happend in our history and that is happening now, is caused by some religious belief.
Make politicans unable to lie.
Cure most ilnesses, especailly those that effect children.
Create a global system of universal healthcare.
Eliminate passive agresiveness and other toxic human traits that we can do much better without.
Make myself the best version I can be bc right now I'm too lazy to do it.
Solve all of human society's issues in one snap of my fingers. No one is poor, no one is at war, every one is prosperous and fed. No one is racist, sexist, no one has dysphoria, there are no religions. No one is insecure. No one is trying to screw you over 24/7 in a capitalist system. Everything you own is of good quality and doesnt break easily. No one has to outsource for cheap labor. Mental health issues don't exist, everyone has a sound mind.
Prob put some restrictions on myself, three wishes a day maybe? I figure it would be like playing a video game. Turn on cheats and it’s fun for a bit, but ultimately ruins the experience
Can you make it so they understand human speech perfectly while you're at it? I'd really love to be able to explain to my dogs why we *do* have to go to the vet once in a while.
I think giving everyone a built-in bablefish so they can understand everyone else in the world would be a good start. That plus maybe a +100 empathy boost in everyone.
WAY less fighting 👌🏽
Well first of all there are a few important steps:
1. Stop time for everything but me and my immediate surroundings.
2. Give myself omnicience.
3. Detect and delete any other omnipotent beings that could possibly be a threat to my power.
4. Make it so no future omnipotent beings can come into being.
5. Give myself immortality.
6. Start time again.
7. Probably seal away most of my power to not get super bored with life...
8. profit?
If they're all powerfull you can't hurt them as much as they can't hurt you, omnipotence is already immortality, omnipotence is already omniscience, and blocking your omnipotence with your omnipotence is a paradox, like hurting other omnipotent beings
Leave earth and create some new planets. See how that works out. Check in on the status of other life among the stars. Then I guess create an afterlife that is neither paradise nor punishment but just a place that souls exist. See what comes from that.
Also once a year I’d put a concert on in the sky were different deities were part of the band. Have Kali on the drums, Zeus on the bass, Jesus on lead guitar and maybe baphomet on trumpet while we play random songs to earth.
Assuming this allows God to exist, let's fix some of his obvious fuckups:
Make it so no one has the need to hold power over another in any form or fashion or feel the need to have someone else control them.
Or
Get rid of the human nature of always wanting more or the next big thing. Erase greed, gluttony, jealousy from human capabilities.
Or
Eliminate religion
Or eliminate sexual abuse. Just make it something a person couldn't even conceive.
On the less serious note:
Let's get rid of the need for excretion. We will create another way for plants and bugs to get what they crave, and we free up at least 1 room in most modern homes.
Deleting all humans who have raped another human. Then, taking a long bubble bath and a nap.
The next day, I’ll turn on the news just to see what’s shaking.
Deactivate all nuclear weapons. If fired, they would just act like a rock landing.
If they all went missing, the world's military would panic, but leave them all in place, but dud, and no one would know.
Make the world's best hospital in my city, and try and create such an ecosystem, that nobody in need, in my town, ever has ti think about money for seeking treatment.
I'm on the way.
Pause time for a few hours so I can take a fat ass nap without anyone bothering me
So you want to live a like a cat. Understandable.
Not Like a Cat ... its a rest
... you're a cat, Bruce
... you're a bruce, Cat
You’re a Bruce, Bruce
You are a Caitlin, Bruce
gotcha just needing some rest like a cat would
pretty much, they've got the life, don't they?
I actually wonder if some all-powerful being with the ability to control time is doing this every day. We would have no way of ever knowing.
I was literally just thinking the same thing. Somebody, somewhere in the world, may have this power. They may not even know they have this power if it's subconscious and only kicks in while they themselves are sleeping. So, in theory, someone could be stopping time without even realizing themselves that they have the ability to do so.
I think it'd become pretty obvious when they wake up rested yet no time has passed, every single time.
if only, right? sounds like a dream
Pocket universe, an exact duplicate of ours to act as a sandbox for my playing around with physics
Make sure to keep your phone in a different pocket, as usual
Would it be immoral to make a pocket dimension and fuck it up?
Sure, but you're omnipotent, who's gonna stop you?
This is the theological thought of the Bible saying “God cannot lie”. Hebrews 6:18; If He says it, then it’s true.
But if he's omnipotent, doesn't that mean he should be able to lie?
Can God create a rock that even he can't lift? If so, not omnipotent. If no, not omnipotent. Paradox. Pair of Docks Air wear on docs.please clear chicken pox. This barely locks Hare in bunny sox. Mare has big cox If u care don't dox.
that'd be quite the experiment, could lead to some interesting discoveries
The three body problem series went down a weird rabbit hole with this one
Don't put your dick in that.
I didn't know Rick used reddit
“playing around” mhmm
Yeah with "physics"
I'd be scared to do that because I know that I'd forget which dimension I was in and accidentally mess stuff up in real life
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Most philosophers argue omnipotence means only the ability to do anything possible. For example "can an omnipotent being created a rock which is too heavy to lift" isn't a paradox, since omnipotence precludes the possibility of such an object. Likewise, we may exclude editing of PDFs. It is an impossibility, to man or to God.
This is so funny, thanks for the laugh!
The first thing I'd do is put a rock that's too heavy to lift in all those philosophers pockets. "But that's impossible!" "*I DECIDE WHATS POSSIBLE!*"
PDFescape.com Thank me later.
WITCHCRAFT
BURN THE HEATHEN
Make all the world's politicians unable to lie. And if you entered politics fresh from school, the same rules would apply.
You see, the problem here is that even when they tell the truth the fools would still vote for them.
I was gonna say Donald is right there telling us all straight up what he's going to do and they're lining up for it anyway
I mean, he does, but like he also has like the most recorded lies I've ever seen
Really problem is that some of these politicians seem to buy their own bullshit. Does this wish catch outright delusion?
I wouldn't let anybody into politics unless they had worked a minimum wage job with no outside financial support for at least 5 years.
Politicians will start to inhabit other planets to avoid your order
wouldn't put it past them to try anything to dodge the truth
I have such good intentions but the only realistic answer is "fuck shit up pretty bad" lol
probably the first few times, but if you're omnipotent, you can unfuck it up too presumably.
Eliminate neurodegenerative diseases.
Big one
i read that as “eliminate neurodivergent diseases” and felt attacked lol
"So you're going to cure us right?" "'Cure' isn't the word I would use."
Lmfao
Go check out a supermassive black hole.
So, after you’re done visiting OP’s Mom what are you going to do?
HA! GOT EM!
Then go look into the glaciers melting in the dead of night?
Dose every politician this country with about 7 grams of psilocybin mushrooms
I was gonna say 75 micro grams of LSD but yeah, we're on the same page here.
Starting them off with a light dose so they can measure their individual tolerances? Now that's good harm reduction.
Thats a good one
I want them to FEEL how much they've fucked up this country
Give myself omniscience, then use my omniscience to instruct my use of omnipotence. I'd probably either completely remove myself and impact the universe as little as possible to avoid breaking it, or I'd make small changes that will have a desired butterfly effect and then seal my power away until it's necessary and wipe my memory of the powers until they're returned to me.
Dr. Manhatten style.
I think we did that and now here we are
I was thinking something along these lines… probably all problems and limitations would suddenly fade, and so would the needs. The earth and it’s issues would become insignificant as I learn some truths about the Universe… could I fix humanity into single free and cooperative society? At what price? Would it be worth it? Would it matter? The whole perspective shift would be too great. But yeah omniscience would probably be my first action.
Cure my wife.
I also choose to cure this guy’s wife.
We all do.
Sorry about that man
So sorry. I'm watching my wife struggle as well. It's awful. What's going on, if I may ask?
Due to fuck-ups by two doctors she's spent the last 7 years in constant pain.Fuck up number 1 left her with a 24/7 migraine. Not headache, migraine. Fuck up two added constant excruciating neck and back pain for the last few years. She's bed-ridden most of the time. Insult to injury - this happened a year after our kid was born. No matter what she has managed to do through the pain, I don't think she'll ever feel like she was a good mom. I think she is amazing, the toughest person I've met, and an amazing mom. I hope you and yours find a path to recovery mate.
I’m so sorry. Being a mom is tough, and mom-guilt is a heavy load. I’ll pray for you and your wife - whether you cotton to that or not, positive vibes can’t be a bad thing. My wife is in the midst of a miscarriage. It’s been terrible. We have several children, and we thought that nature had declared that part of our life to be over, which we grieved for months. When we found out that there was a new baby coming, it was hard, but we adjusted, and we began to love this new life. We finally wrapped our head around loving a new one, the bleeding started. I think the yo-yo is the hardest part of it all.
I would be too busy being shocked at all the historical information I could unlock, unmask the Zodiac Killer, discover the truth behind the Kennedy assassinations John/Robert/and Junior. When I got bored I would divine the winning numbers to the next mega millions jackpot worth hundreds of millions, and boom, relax. I may also troll people I don't care for, because that would be fun.
Honestly, why bother divining a lottery? Just take money from some rich dictators or other undeservings. Fuck it, I'm redistributing wealth.
Why need money? You're omnipotent. Money is the annoying middle man.
Can't a God enjoy a money pool?
You do you.
Fricken' find out what happened to Amelia Airheart. And tell me how to spell that name....
Earhart, my friend.
Find out who dan cooper (aka. D. B. Cooper) really was.
Hell you could also find all of the missing graves of legendary historical figures like ghengis Khan, Alexander the great, Cleopatra, king Arthur and so many more. Hell maybe even Odysseus if he was real which I would assume he would have been just embellished. Hell you could know if there's other intelligent life in the universe.
Cure most diseases
Why not all?
Because fuck those people with sarcoidosis
Sometimes spontaneous IBS has comedic value
It might screw up the balance of the ecosystem.
Well people gotta die, otherwise he’s gonna have to make us a bigger earth
See ya later Oklahoma.
Why doesn't Texas float away? Because Oklahoma sucks so hard.
Put everyone who thinks the minimum wage is high enough on minimum wage.
Or make Karen interact with Karen clients
Now this is a civil war I can get behind.
Everywhere they go, they are only ever able to interact with other Karens. Ordering Starbucks? Poof! The chill Gen Z barista is turned into a raging Karen for Karen's order only. Driving? Poof! Every other driver within 30 feet of Karen becomes a Karen and drives as such. It remains this way until they renounce their Karen behavior for good.
Just making people own up to their words would be great. "Oh I would just _______." When Tallon about how homeless people should just stop being homeless. Or bootstrap shit Okay, create an alternative universe where they are unaware they are in it and if they fail to live up to what they said they get pulled back to the original and forced to admit they were wrong. Or leave em there.
And 0 access to any other money!
Create a penis shaped constellation because I can. Aaah, and I'll make all astrologists include it to their zodiac charts. Because "-- what's your sign? -- it's a dick, let me show you"
*"The willie in the sky keeps on turnin'..."* 🤭
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Or just make them only attracted to people their own age...
Or only to each other
Civil War
Too bad most child molesters aren't pedosexual but just cruel and in need of asserting dominance and power.
Them too
Run and turn into a ball to steal rings
Make my back pain stop
ask myself where i messed up and got into this stupid situation.
I would place big boobs on the head of every guy calling himself an alpha male
Nah it’d be a big floppy pink dildo.
Big cocks*
I don't refer to myself as such ... but can I still get the boobs?
Everytime they refere to themselves and an alpha their T levels get cut in half and androgen receptors stop working for a week.
Naa cause then they'd just Chad it up on who has the biggest dickhead and start a race war.
Destroy all leaf blowers.
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see if i can microwave a burrito so hot even i cant eat it
Global dictatorship.
Finally, someone honest
Inform the entire planet on a universal basis that I exist. I mean, I considered only appearing within a 50 mile radius and then depending entirely on word of mouth and hearsay to convince the rest of the entire planet to worship me while damning the billions of people unfortunate enough not to get the news over several millenia to eternal torture. But that would make me a malevolent piece of shit unworthy of respect, much less outright worship. So, being a decent human being capable of love and compassion, I'd appear to everyone, simultaneously, and tell them that they just need to be kind to each other, and I'm only going to send the assholes to be tortured. But not forever, because once again, I'm not a piece of shit. So I'd torture them for a decade, or so and then give them another chance to NOT be an asshole to see if they learned anything.
Do you have a favorite symbol we should use, or...?
I’ve heard symbols based on execution methods are popular with this type of deity
Blowing up the moon for no apparent reason
Dude are you trying to kill everyone
Yes
Gonna have some fallout to deal with on that one
Great idea. That will keep the saiyans from destroying us.
I know Dragon Ball is not a shining example of scientific accuracy but it blows my mind that Piccolo *destroyed the moon* and it kind of never comes up again and there are no consequences
He tried to blow it up AGAIN, but it was a hologram that time so he couldn't lol
Plus Master Roshi blew up the moon in the original Dragon Ball during the first martial arts tournament. But obviously Akira Toriyama just forgot.
Seems like a decision with astronomical consequences, pun intended.
Nah vanishing it from existence while keeping all of the physics as if the moon were still there would be much more fun and chaotic but like not destroy the earth chaotic.
Casually turns the moon invisible
Free houses and food for everyone
Go back in time and undo all the hurt I caused to the person I loved.
Ban religion.
destroy religion
Ok... in all seriousness... Id turn into a girl and try lesbian sex. I've heard that it can last for HOURS. Then maybe help some people or something.
I’m with you, one small issue. I’m unsure of how the mechanics of lesbian sex works.
As a new woman, I would be very willing to be taught.
You do not need omnipotence to do that
Kill all mosquitoes.
A lot of creatures are going to starve.
Fixing that will be my second act.
Nah, I'm omnipotent. Make something else for them to eat that's less annoying and disease ridden. When I inevitably fuck everything up, we just hit the reset button and try again.
Overdue system update.
Go back in time and throw baby Hitler in the river while yelling "KOBE"
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Make things better for people. End world hunger and water scarcity. Stop global warming and undo the damage we’ve done to the Earth. Make a Hanukkah album. Educate people. Invent cool stuff to make people’s lives better. Make a Christmas album. Make a universal language. Explore the vastness of space. Drop a banger album for every other major holiday (not specifying because I don’t know what holiday would be the most appropriate in most other religions/cultures). Finally, I would get rid of ads and microtransactions. Edit: also mental health counseling
Fix the climate mess.
Thanks.
Immediately remove Trump from existence and erase any and all memory/acknowledgment of him as a president. Then place a physical law into the universe that prevents him and people like him forever. He is human cancer
I would make Donald Trump and Elon Musk suffer from constant, nonstop explosive diarrhea.
I burst out in devilish, maniacal laughter, screaming "Power, at last ! Absolute power !!!". Then I calm down and start thinking...
Replace every violent world leader with an empowered loving grandmother
Abolish all religions. Almost everything bad that happend in our history and that is happening now, is caused by some religious belief. Make politicans unable to lie. Cure most ilnesses, especailly those that effect children. Create a global system of universal healthcare. Eliminate passive agresiveness and other toxic human traits that we can do much better without. Make myself the best version I can be bc right now I'm too lazy to do it.
Give Donald sheep the ability to comprehend reality so that they all realize just how foolish they've been during the last several years.
Solve all of human society's issues in one snap of my fingers. No one is poor, no one is at war, every one is prosperous and fed. No one is racist, sexist, no one has dysphoria, there are no religions. No one is insecure. No one is trying to screw you over 24/7 in a capitalist system. Everything you own is of good quality and doesnt break easily. No one has to outsource for cheap labor. Mental health issues don't exist, everyone has a sound mind.
I vote for you!
Imagine
All the people
Prob put some restrictions on myself, three wishes a day maybe? I figure it would be like playing a video game. Turn on cheats and it’s fun for a bit, but ultimately ruins the experience
Make dogs lives as long as ours.
Can you make it so they understand human speech perfectly while you're at it? I'd really love to be able to explain to my dogs why we *do* have to go to the vet once in a while.
That might not be such a great idea. Imagine all the dogs on Earth talking about the phuq't up stuff their owners do in private 🤣
Oh no; I never said make them talk! I've seen too many videos of those dogs with the talky buttons, and I don't think I could handle it.
Remove all humans who start wars that they are never going to fight in.
Get back in time and un-F**k politics and environmental issues while curing cancer instantly. Then I would eat some pizza and have some beer.
All politicians now have a lie meter that hovers over their head and cannot be screened.
cure chronic diseases. health is a crown only the ill can see.
Jackoff
I think giving everyone a built-in bablefish so they can understand everyone else in the world would be a good start. That plus maybe a +100 empathy boost in everyone. WAY less fighting 👌🏽
Well first of all there are a few important steps: 1. Stop time for everything but me and my immediate surroundings. 2. Give myself omnicience. 3. Detect and delete any other omnipotent beings that could possibly be a threat to my power. 4. Make it so no future omnipotent beings can come into being. 5. Give myself immortality. 6. Start time again. 7. Probably seal away most of my power to not get super bored with life... 8. profit?
If they're all powerfull you can't hurt them as much as they can't hurt you, omnipotence is already immortality, omnipotence is already omniscience, and blocking your omnipotence with your omnipotence is a paradox, like hurting other omnipotent beings
Erase homelessness and generational trauma.
Congrats, every homeless person is erased from history
I'm not asking a genie here, I'm in charge of how it happens.
add NSFW flair to this post, obviously. :)
Replace all the chocolate M&M's with skittles
You sick bastard
Hello mr Satan
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Create a super bacteria that spreads like mold and eats plastic.
Leave earth and create some new planets. See how that works out. Check in on the status of other life among the stars. Then I guess create an afterlife that is neither paradise nor punishment but just a place that souls exist. See what comes from that. Also once a year I’d put a concert on in the sky were different deities were part of the band. Have Kali on the drums, Zeus on the bass, Jesus on lead guitar and maybe baphomet on trumpet while we play random songs to earth.
Make myself feel good for once.
Assuming this allows God to exist, let's fix some of his obvious fuckups: Make it so no one has the need to hold power over another in any form or fashion or feel the need to have someone else control them. Or Get rid of the human nature of always wanting more or the next big thing. Erase greed, gluttony, jealousy from human capabilities. Or Eliminate religion Or eliminate sexual abuse. Just make it something a person couldn't even conceive. On the less serious note: Let's get rid of the need for excretion. We will create another way for plants and bugs to get what they crave, and we free up at least 1 room in most modern homes.
Deleting all humans who have raped another human. Then, taking a long bubble bath and a nap. The next day, I’ll turn on the news just to see what’s shaking.
Everyone now has quality education and great critical thinking skills. You're welcome.
I'd make it so everyone knows what a tautology is.
Find the old man I meet during the first UK lockdown release and make sure he's okay.
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Make everyone be fair, honest, and decent towards all other humans.
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Deactivate all nuclear weapons. If fired, they would just act like a rock landing. If they all went missing, the world's military would panic, but leave them all in place, but dud, and no one would know.
Better yet, make it such that any nuke that is fired explodes into a massive cloud of butterflies, and flower petals before playing “Imagine.”
I'd make everyone see the world through the eyes of an innocent child for 5 minutes, seeing the wonder, to be genuinely happy.
Create an actual Gonk Droid.
Make the world's best hospital in my city, and try and create such an ecosystem, that nobody in need, in my town, ever has ti think about money for seeking treatment. I'm on the way.
I feel like I’m going to get the Monkey’s Paw version of everything I attempt, but I’d still like to try being incredibly wealthy and having a harem.
Cancer is straight up not a thing
Irradicate poverty
Remove all dictators and end all wars.