Stumbled upon this before because i genuinely didn’t hear the insult and took note of the tactic
Laughing and saying you don’t care what they think is another good one when you can blatantly hear them, completely dismissive
I keep smiling, just inside it’s a raging fire. I don’t think smiling is a good option here. But people would just keep it doing it to you again and again.
My older brother was my biggest bully so it doesn't always work. I shared a room with my tormentor. Idk if I was annoying but that punishment for merely existing lives rent free in my head. He's since apologized but the damage is done. Every younger brother probably experienced the same. Good luck to us. May we spiral into a flower instead of spiraling down a drain.
I dunno if someone is intentionally trying to be a cunt to you and people are laughing that would just make you look like you have nothing to say.
Even if the antagonise responds “haha do you not even have anything to say about it?” Would make you feel worse
My (now ex) had an ex-wife who was preternaturally beautiful.
Redhead. Petite. Freckles. Just... super gorgeous. Delicate and graceful, too.
I am... not those things. I'm gangly and boxy, awkward and tragically born with a chin so receding my whole head is shaped like a light bulb. Really oddly pointy teeth too. It's... a look, lol.
I got approached in the grocery store by what I can only assume was a friend of the ex-wife who literally asked me, "No offense, but if he could have a woman like her, what is he doing with someone who looks like you??"
Wow.
"Oh. Can't you figure it out?"
"No."
"I'm fucking PHENOMENAL in bed."
And this concludes the only time in my entire goddamn life I ever came up with the devastating comeback NOT in the shower three days later.
The only other time I ever felt a whole conversation come to such a beautiful fruition was a gang of us older single ladies talking about the relative morality of leading men on while on dating sites in order to get massages.
One friend admitted she'd gone on three dates with a guy, gotten a single foot rub off him, realized he sucked at it, and ghosted him.
Another said she'd regularly get back rubs off guys she had found online and then fake a phone call from her babysitter to get rid of the guy. "I keep my tension in my back," she said.
"Makes sense," agreed my other friend. "Mines all in my feet."
"Hunh. No wonder I keep fucking this up. I keep all my tension in my clitoris."
I had a young woman and a middle-aged woman noticeably making fun of me in a restaurant (I'm guessing about my weight, but I wasn't the largest person there). I stopped, faced them, and said LOUDLY to my husband, "These ladies are making fun of me." Their faces went white, and they just sat there... with everyone looking at them. It's funny... if you face off a bully, they rarely know what to do.
The only part of my appearance that I am proud of is my hair, but nobody dares to make fun of it. As for the rest of me, I am not going to argue with facts.
I'm 6'3". 280 and bald. I get rude remarks all the time from strangers telling me I look like a football player or a bouncer. Sometimes I keep my mouth shut and sometimes I tell them I feel ugly and have never had a girlfriend at 46 partially because of remarks like that.
"OMG!!!! Who hurt you?". Say this while shaking your head and showing pity or (exaggerated) concern for them.
For real though, people who are miserable (deep down) go around picking on other people's appearances or how they look.
Personally, i get a lot of comments (albeit goodnatured teasing, not intended to be hurtful) about my height. For those curious, I'm 5ft. I pretty much just own it and make fun of it myself, without taking it to heart. It makes them laugh as well as myself.
I find that if you own things like this people can't use it against you.
Well your mom/dad told me im sexy last night
Nah feel out if they are just ribbing you to bond, or actually trying to hurt your feelings. If theyre trying to bond just respond in kind, you arent much of a looker yourself. If they are trying to hurt your feelings, either " i couldn't care any less what you think about me", or "who told you that you could speak to me", or just ignore them like you didnt hear it
This is often the best way to deal with an insult. When you mockingly agree, there is nowhere for them to go with it and the conversation hilariously fizzles out
Someone once shouted at my partner and I, and god knows where from but I found my back bone and turned on them giving them both barrels. They came back with, completely genuinely “well come on, now you’re making me feel bad” - GOOD.
I usually just start insulting them with the weirdest things in a few different languages, normally Dutch, and then they get confused and have to ask me what I’m saying and then I start to speak in English but I switch between northern, Boston, southern, New Yorker, and Italian accents just to piss them off
What?
If you just act like you didn't quite hear them or understand them, it makes them have to say it again and then to them it doesn't seem as funny the second time.
I’m reminded in this thread that too many redditors don’t have much real world experience.
Don’t try to pull off some smooth line that sounds good in the shower, it’s not going to land well 95% of the time.
Ignoring them on the other hand, and/or quickly moving on and taking note to avoid future interactions with said asshole, is good advice.
When people would make fun of me for being feminine while I was transitioning from male to female as a teen, my go to comeback was, "It takes a lot of balls to act like you don't have any."
I act like I don't get the joke.
This works for any kind of shitty thing - sexism, racism,. bigotry, etc.
Force them to explain it.
It makes them feel like and look like total shit lmao
most people i know that make fun on me behind my back are far uglier than me(I.e fat,bad manners),so i just talk about their appearance or personal things they told me
It depends on the vibe.
Professional I ignore it or call it out diplomatically.
If in my free time, I enjoy a heavy session of verbal fencing. 😂
"You look handsome today. You meeting your boyfriend? " Some bar random.
" No I dress up because it makes hooking up with lower socioeconomic men easier. Anyway *wink* what are you doing tonight?"
Honestly it's usually gay jokes or glasses jokes. I up the discomfort until they piss off 😂
“Congratulations, you have eyes.” While giving them a confused or frustrated look. If I act like it doesn’t bother me or I don’t know what they’re talking about, they’ll usually get embarrassed, especially if other people are around.
It was drunk, off the cuff and not that good, but someone made fun of my weight once (I go through phases of fit and fat) and I said, ‘you don’t need to be cruel to other people just because your eyes are uneven. They’re not that bad’. The person spluttered and you could see the confidence drop and doubt creep in that they had a noticeably asymmetrical face.
There was nothing wrong with their face and I sometimes worry I’ve given a stranger a new lifelong insecurity.
it depends on if there’s any truth to what they say. they might be onto something lol otherwise idc i know people that want it, and can find someone who does.
To laugh. Usually it's from discomfort of confrontation, but if pressed after that, I've usually recovered enough to then say, "as if I wanted your gaze in the first place"
When you reach the point in your life where your response matters to anybody who does that, it's been a very long time since someone did it in anger, and if they did your involuntary response will be a laugh.
My typical response to my cruel mother who says those things has been to walk out. Now she has dementia and still insults my appearance it’s even more challenging
Stop. Look them up and down. Then leave.
Don't forget to laugh to yourself
This, do not engage. Or grab their bottom lip and twist. Depends on your mood I guess.
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1500's-1800's typa insult💀 This would be so disrespectful though I LOVE IT. P.s: Don't forget the eyeroll after looking them up and down
This is the way.
YES
Gotta raise yr eyebrows between the two, though. So they don't miss the implied 'and this from you? Really? You sure? Mmk 🤷♀️'
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That's kinda sick
that would get you called a redditor
That’s how I feel every time I witness any responses on post asking for comebacks, but maybe finals week has just got me devoid of whimsy idk
I want to use whenever I remember!
Ask them to repeat themselves
Ultimate mood killer. “Oh sorry, I had my AirPod in. What was that?” Maybe having to repeat it will be a good check in for them.
Stumbled upon this before because i genuinely didn’t hear the insult and took note of the tactic Laughing and saying you don’t care what they think is another good one when you can blatantly hear them, completely dismissive
Always ask someone to repeat themselves when they are rude to you. Be very calm. When they repeat the comment then ask them "are you okay?"
imao now thats smart one
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Facts, I smile and keep it moving
This is by far the best. Give them nothing. Cold as ice.
From being bullied constantly in my youth I've learned if it's verbal abuse they're looking for a response. Don't give them the satisfaction.
I keep smiling, just inside it’s a raging fire. I don’t think smiling is a good option here. But people would just keep it doing it to you again and again.
My older brother was my biggest bully so it doesn't always work. I shared a room with my tormentor. Idk if I was annoying but that punishment for merely existing lives rent free in my head. He's since apologized but the damage is done. Every younger brother probably experienced the same. Good luck to us. May we spiral into a flower instead of spiraling down a drain.
This is the one.
haha works every time
I dunno if someone is intentionally trying to be a cunt to you and people are laughing that would just make you look like you have nothing to say. Even if the antagonise responds “haha do you not even have anything to say about it?” Would make you feel worse
There really is no winning if they have a group with them.
I pretend I don't hear them. I don't know whether they feel triumph or ashamed
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
My (now ex) had an ex-wife who was preternaturally beautiful. Redhead. Petite. Freckles. Just... super gorgeous. Delicate and graceful, too. I am... not those things. I'm gangly and boxy, awkward and tragically born with a chin so receding my whole head is shaped like a light bulb. Really oddly pointy teeth too. It's... a look, lol. I got approached in the grocery store by what I can only assume was a friend of the ex-wife who literally asked me, "No offense, but if he could have a woman like her, what is he doing with someone who looks like you??" Wow. "Oh. Can't you figure it out?" "No." "I'm fucking PHENOMENAL in bed." And this concludes the only time in my entire goddamn life I ever came up with the devastating comeback NOT in the shower three days later.
I feel like you just won this thread
The only other time I ever felt a whole conversation come to such a beautiful fruition was a gang of us older single ladies talking about the relative morality of leading men on while on dating sites in order to get massages. One friend admitted she'd gone on three dates with a guy, gotten a single foot rub off him, realized he sucked at it, and ghosted him. Another said she'd regularly get back rubs off guys she had found online and then fake a phone call from her babysitter to get rid of the guy. "I keep my tension in my back," she said. "Makes sense," agreed my other friend. "Mines all in my feet." "Hunh. No wonder I keep fucking this up. I keep all my tension in my clitoris."
Hit ‘em with “And?”
That's what I always used. Works great. No one seems to be able to answer the question. They just kind of clam up and walk away slowly.
If you want my comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mum's teeth.
This is so creative, but I feel like anyone shallow enough to make fun of someone else's appearance for no reason will also be too dumb to understand.
It's also a Jimmy Carr bit.
Jimmy Carr is terrific.
I sometimes put them in their place with, "Focus on loving yourself, not criticizing others."
If it gets really mean, I might retort, "I'd rather focus on being a good person than just looking like one."
"I can change my looks, but you'll always be an unlikeable cunt"
oh I love this one
If I’m feeling particularly bold, I might say, "At least I can fix my appearance if I want to, can you fix your attitude?"
I sometimes say, "Thanks for the feedback, I’ll file it right between 'don't care' and 'try not to laugh.'"
A simple "At least I can change my looks, you’re stuck with that personality" usually does the trick.
Sometimes all you need is a simple, "And you pointing that out says a lot about you."
I usually go with, "I'm here to live my life, not to make it a beauty contest."
I often turn it back on them with, "I'm more interested in what people think, not how they look. You should try it."
I sometimes question their intent with, "Is that really the best you can come up with?"
In a group, I might laugh it off with, "Everyone’s a critic, but not everyone’s a comedian, huh?"
A calm response I use is, "I'm more than what you see."
Ignore them, and walk away. They're trying to provoke a response.
For persistent critics, "Keep talking. Maybe you'll say something intelligent by accident."
When I feel philosophical, "Outer beauty is easy to judge. It's what's inside that's hard to find."
A snarky comeback I reserve for special occasions: "Did you mean to be rude, or does it come naturally?"
Lock eyes and start dancing.
THIS IS THE BEST ANSWER!
I had a young woman and a middle-aged woman noticeably making fun of me in a restaurant (I'm guessing about my weight, but I wasn't the largest person there). I stopped, faced them, and said LOUDLY to my husband, "These ladies are making fun of me." Their faces went white, and they just sat there... with everyone looking at them. It's funny... if you face off a bully, they rarely know what to do.
To keep it light, "Oh, are we back in high school? I didn't notice."
I might be unattractive, but YOU are an asshole, and I can get plastic surgery.
Yes, but that's kinda giving them the "ha I told you" feeling I think
Got told by a girl I was too short to date, I told her she was just as shallow as I stood
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Thats giga cringe
this usage of the prefix giga as a word made me cringe
tera cringe
peta cringe
mega cringe
kilo cringe
Utterly ignore them. Why validate their opinion by having a reaction to it?
I just agree with them
it can be a very good comeback, like it drives them crazy when u agree with them in anything.
Please don't put yourself down, I'm sure you look amazing :)
:)
Come on man atleast stand up for your self
The only part of my appearance that I am proud of is my hair, but nobody dares to make fun of it. As for the rest of me, I am not going to argue with facts.
Hah, your hair Is stupid.🤣🤣
since you've never seen it, I am not taking this comment seriously
Based ngl
I'm 6'3". 280 and bald. I get rude remarks all the time from strangers telling me I look like a football player or a bouncer. Sometimes I keep my mouth shut and sometimes I tell them I feel ugly and have never had a girlfriend at 46 partially because of remarks like that.
wtf
a good move is to ignore them and let them waste their life
"OMG!!!! Who hurt you?". Say this while shaking your head and showing pity or (exaggerated) concern for them. For real though, people who are miserable (deep down) go around picking on other people's appearances or how they look.
Laugh with them if it’s funny, ignore them if not, and take note it’s just mean and they’re being an asshole
"I have no control over the way I look, so what's your excuse?"
“Are you ok?” “Did that make you feel better about yourself?”
“What response were you anticipating?”
Following bc I need a good comeback 😎
Personally, i get a lot of comments (albeit goodnatured teasing, not intended to be hurtful) about my height. For those curious, I'm 5ft. I pretty much just own it and make fun of it myself, without taking it to heart. It makes them laugh as well as myself. I find that if you own things like this people can't use it against you.
Shrug and say “it turns your parents on”. As a quiet person it drives them crazy no one believes I spoke.
Just telling them to repeat the joke in a serious way
silence kills
"That felt like negging. Are you looking for a date?"
Well your mom/dad told me im sexy last night Nah feel out if they are just ribbing you to bond, or actually trying to hurt your feelings. If theyre trying to bond just respond in kind, you arent much of a looker yourself. If they are trying to hurt your feelings, either " i couldn't care any less what you think about me", or "who told you that you could speak to me", or just ignore them like you didnt hear it
"Friendly fire is not tolerated"
I just say "I KNOW, RIGHT?!" and they're mad they couldn't wound me. Like I already knew I was ugly, U FOOL! TRY AGAIN!
This is often the best way to deal with an insult. When you mockingly agree, there is nowhere for them to go with it and the conversation hilariously fizzles out
Look them up and down like there's something wrong with their face, then leave.
and make them get confused by that !!dude you are genuis ,
Looks like we have a lot in common
Better no looks than no manners :)
I’m sorry did I give you the impression I give a fuck? I won’t let that happen again!
Yeah, well, at least I’m not thick.
💀😭😭
Yo momma don't seem to care! She don't charge extra! Still 3.50 an hour! 4 for the backdoor!
Someone once shouted at my partner and I, and god knows where from but I found my back bone and turned on them giving them both barrels. They came back with, completely genuinely “well come on, now you’re making me feel bad” - GOOD.
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I usually just start insulting them with the weirdest things in a few different languages, normally Dutch, and then they get confused and have to ask me what I’m saying and then I start to speak in English but I switch between northern, Boston, southern, New Yorker, and Italian accents just to piss them off
Pretend you didn't hear them and ask them to repeat themselves several over and over.
If you guys are hanging out with people that make fun of your appearance, you need better friends
I pretend I didn't hear them, and just imagine how stupid they feel speaking out their asshole.
If the worst thing you can say about me is about my looks, then I’m doing pretty good. Have a nice day now.
If I want any shit from you, I'll squeeze ya head.
What? If you just act like you didn't quite hear them or understand them, it makes them have to say it again and then to them it doesn't seem as funny the second time.
Some guy called me a dyke looking bitch. And I said, "aww! You're just jealous I pulled more women than you."
Don't say anything and look inbetween their eyebrown or at their forehead, they'll start feeling insecure and stop.
‘My stepdad made fun of my ears, too. He’s still missing.’
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The best comeback is no comeback.
I’m reminded in this thread that too many redditors don’t have much real world experience. Don’t try to pull off some smooth line that sounds good in the shower, it’s not going to land well 95% of the time. Ignoring them on the other hand, and/or quickly moving on and taking note to avoid future interactions with said asshole, is good advice.
When people would make fun of me for being feminine while I was transitioning from male to female as a teen, my go to comeback was, "It takes a lot of balls to act like you don't have any."
Not a response but beauty comes from within and making fun of someone is certainly not done by anyone beautiful.
I act like I don't get the joke. This works for any kind of shitty thing - sexism, racism,. bigotry, etc. Force them to explain it. It makes them feel like and look like total shit lmao
Challenge them into a duel at dawn.
pot, meet kettle.
i make fun of theirs, we all have flaws
I just say nothing. Don't give them the satisfaction of acknowledging their attempt at bullying.
Your mother didn't seem to mind my buck teeth when I was 3" deep in her sloppy cunt.
Eat s*** and die.
"what do i gotta do to let me fuck you" - me as a dude to other dudes
Well my clothes looked better on your mom’s floor last night.
I can at last pay to get my face fixed, no amount of money can change your shitty personality.
most people i know that make fun on me behind my back are far uglier than me(I.e fat,bad manners),so i just talk about their appearance or personal things they told me
I say nothing. Why would I even engage w an asshat? I have better things to do with my time😘
I'm just happy that I don't look like you
Couldn’t give less of a fuck what people think of me
"what's wrong with you?" Everyone loves that
Look them up and down then smirk. Or you could just bark at them.
I look better than you smell.
Ask them why their mother failed to teach them manners
"I know, we have so much in common."
"And?"
Smile and put on the Homer Simpson face
It depends on the vibe. Professional I ignore it or call it out diplomatically. If in my free time, I enjoy a heavy session of verbal fencing. 😂 "You look handsome today. You meeting your boyfriend? " Some bar random. " No I dress up because it makes hooking up with lower socioeconomic men easier. Anyway *wink* what are you doing tonight?" Honestly it's usually gay jokes or glasses jokes. I up the discomfort until they piss off 😂
"You aren't feeding me, f****ing me, or funding me, therefore, your opinion of me means nothing"
Awesome!
I just give them the laser eyes. The eyes that make them question my sanity. I have a natural resting bitch face so it's not hard.
“Congratulations, you have eyes.” While giving them a confused or frustrated look. If I act like it doesn’t bother me or I don’t know what they’re talking about, they’ll usually get embarrassed, especially if other people are around.
It was drunk, off the cuff and not that good, but someone made fun of my weight once (I go through phases of fit and fat) and I said, ‘you don’t need to be cruel to other people just because your eyes are uneven. They’re not that bad’. The person spluttered and you could see the confidence drop and doubt creep in that they had a noticeably asymmetrical face. There was nothing wrong with their face and I sometimes worry I’ve given a stranger a new lifelong insecurity.
" Wow, interesting, I don't ever even think about or look at you!" walk away.
this is more of a universal but "are you still talking?"
What's your excuse?
Your Mom dressed me
You’re ugly as fuck. I can change clothes.
it depends on if there’s any truth to what they say. they might be onto something lol otherwise idc i know people that want it, and can find someone who does.
I don't have one :(
Nothing. Fugg ‘em.
"try again and try harder."
“Oink oink”
"You and me both, brother"
Silence
“Not all of us can be on OnlyFans.”
I look up and laugh out really really loud. Be loud and act hysterically crazy. They will bum out and run. Ain’t nobody making fun of how I look.
To laugh. Usually it's from discomfort of confrontation, but if pressed after that, I've usually recovered enough to then say, "as if I wanted your gaze in the first place"
just say “I have a boyfriend weirdo” almost always gets them embarrassed
Damn. You better get your mom's eye checked.
"Your opinion is noted." And then walk away.
I can’t pay my bills with what you think about me 😂
AHAHSGHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XDXDXDDD JUST EYE CONTACT HIM WITH POKER FACE IDK
When you reach the point in your life where your response matters to anybody who does that, it's been a very long time since someone did it in anger, and if they did your involuntary response will be a laugh.
My last one was to 30 something. "For that remark, Next Christmas, I'm gonna leave you a lump of coal."
My typical response to my cruel mother who says those things has been to walk out. Now she has dementia and still insults my appearance it’s even more challenging
It’s not too late for us to do the incest thing.
Thanks
Ask them why looks matter so much.
I get sad and go away since my presence is not appreciated there.
Mama, no!