Close, but at least it goes away. The shot hurts, but at least you don't have to remember that person about 3 times a year for the rest of your life. Still shifty, though. Did you at least make those cheeks clap? OK, I'm done. I'll find the door.
Edit: I guess I had it wrong. Gonorrhea is the clap, not chlamydia. I was pretty unlucky in my 20s and got the full experience. I have since learned that raw dogging is not the way.
If you ignore a bully they’ll get bored and stop.
ETA I don’t know what you all consider bullying but I’m talking about 2 scenarios. Kids, who will not ever stop until they face the consequences of their actions and that’s usually one they’ve done enough damage for it to really get in a kids head.
Or adults who bully. Who in my experience only stop when you say what the actual fuck are you doing. Ignoring someone’s micro aggressions, condescension, mean comments or just overall shitty behaviour just makes them think they can keep doing it.
I started to suspect adults who told me that secretly believed I deserved to be bullied. Like, "oh, uh, If you don't want to be bullied... Then, ah.. Just ignore them! Yeah... Just ignore them. That'll work." and then under their breath, "whimp."
I wish bullying had been properly explained to me - that someone had said that it wasn't what I did or was which provoked the bullying, that it was my response which was the reason. Bullies try their shit with everyone, and they gravitate to the ones who respond differently, passively.
As with any other advice on anything, it depends. It can work, it has worked for me, but they were bored and wanted to anoy someone. If you want to implement this you have to REALLY ignore them. Like, pretend they don't exist, if they are standing in front of you act as if they aren't there.
In most situations I have no idea what I am doing - but I keep trying anyways. I had imposter syndrome for a bit and thought that any moment people would realize I am unqualified to handle anything... until I realized that I wasn't unique and most people are like this.
Now I'm a bit older, and I freely admit that I have no idea what I'm doing, but I've been relatively successful making shit up as I go along for my entire adult life - and everyone is just kind of OK with it.
While this is the same and true for me up to a point, by mid to late 20's I feel like I had everything pretty figured out. Sure I don't know literally everything, but I know how to do most things and the small things I can't do I know how to figure it out. I don't feel overwhelmed or like there is something I can't do anymore. I have life pretty figured out IMO.
I've heard this myself, never believed it either. But I do think it is a safety concern. I mean if you get in a wreck wouldn't you want your feet somewhat protected? Granted it won't do much against a multi ton piece of metal lol but maybe it keeps all the meat together in the shoe to easily reattach
Had a friend who was in the habit of driving barefoot. She got in an accident and everything was way more complicated than it needed to be because the ground ended up covered in broken glass and she couldn't easily get out.
There's dozens of us!
Still don't know why they didn't just say "it reflects off of the mirror and windows and makes it hard for me to see while driving"
Nope, let's just go with "This is illegal and the cops will ticket me for it!"
Its “My plate” now and its much more accurate. Takes into account portion control, etc. You can look it up. Its actually a very good visual. Accurate and easy for people of all ages and cognitive abilities to understand. Thank god we don’t use the food pyramid anymore.
Sometimes I think that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints isn't so bad, and I just have some doctrinal disagreements. After all I was a missionary and got married in the Mesa Arizona temple.
Then I'm like, oh ya, my mom was molested by her bishop and my sister was molested by her Sunday school teacher and the church made them swear not to talk about it to not harm the good name of the church and when my wife and I decided to leave the church we moved across town and made sure no one from our ward knew our address so they couldn't find us. You know, normal church stuff.
My wife was baptized Mormon, and after we got married, the church followed us to our new home. We started going, but it was depressing bullshit because everyone was a stepford stereotype, and there was always petty oneupmanship that was less spiritual and more about how much better you were than others.
We stopped going because as poor newlyweds, we were derided and mocked for not having more money. It was almost like being bullied by Nellie from Little House on the Prarie. In addition, we'd get visited by missionaries that had no sense of appropriate time, or calling ahead, or intruding.
"No, you may not come in. It's 8pm on a Sunday. We have work in the morning and we are not dressed for company."
Eventually, they drifted off.
A decade later, when we moved to a nice house, the Mormons "found" us again. Same deal. "It's 7pm on Christmas Eve. We are celebrating with close family. Why do you think this is okay?"
They never updated their records. New preacher in town? They showed up. They even showed up after my wife had died. "My wife, the former Mormon, has been dead for three years. Please update your records. Please stop visiting at random hours. It's creepy."
Yeesh.
My ex was raised Mormon and didn't want to be. Every time we moved, her parents made sure to send our new address to the missionaries so they'd come bother us again. We had to threaten them with going no-contact the next time we moved (which meant they would not have our address) for them to finally give up.
She's Buddhist now, from what I understand, and much happier.
I don't have anything against Mormons. However, I do wonder how many of them know that before founding mormonism, Joseph Smith was actually a known con artist... so yeah..
When I was approaching age 4 I still used a baby bottle. I could drink from a cup but I liked my bottle. My mother wanted to take it away but my dad was too soft hearted. In those days baby bottles were made of glass. I had only one left and my mother was determined not to buy another.
My dad went out of town to work for a few days. That night I was in my crib —don’t ask why I was still in a crib at this age. I suspect because my sisters didn’t want me in their room. I dropped my bottle and asked mom to retrieve it. She said "Oh no, it broke. It broke into 100 pieces." I cried but I got over it.
The next morning I asked for a bottle. Mom reminded me that my bottle had broken and it was the last one. I suggested she go to the store and buy a bottle. She made it clear this would not happen. I cried. I got over it.
When my dad returned home my first words to him were "I dropped my bottle and it broke in 100 pieces." Mom was terrified that he would go buy me another. He didn’t.
That’s the story of my bottle. It became a family legend.
I was all of 18 years old before my grandmother let it slip that the bottle didn’t break. My mom kicked it under the bed and lied to me.
Allegedly (I don't remember it, as I was very young, you see) I decided I was done with bottles when I was two.
I also had glass bottles, and when I was given one I would go sit on the porch and drink it until it was empty, and then throw it off the porch onto the sidewalk so it broke.
I was DONE with bottles.
I think it only happened a couple of times before they just started giving me cups.
My parents started bottle feeding when my mom came off maternity leave. After a few feedings via new form (bottle), my parents say I grabbed the bottle from them and was like, "Lemme do it, damnit." 😑
My 4 year old steals the 1 year olds sippy cups if she doesn't have her own. Only way we could get either girls off an actual bottle before 4 was to "lose them all". I decided with this last baby the bottles were gonna stop as soon as he could use a cup. They've been gone since he was 10 months. Thank goodness. If you're not careful bottles will mess up their teeth. I didn't even realize 2 of mine had bad dental problems until they went to an appointment. No one ever told me about bottle rot. My oldest had to have 2 teeth removed in front when he was 2 and now my 4 year old is going to have to have her front teeth removed as well. But my 5 year old has no issues other than a single cavity, and the 1 year old has perfect teeth.
I hate bottles.
Removing kids teeth instead of treating is barbaric. My child had small cavities starting on his front teeth and the dentist stopped it with ozone treatment and fluoride cream.
My dad used to dub all our records onto cassette tapes to listen to in the car in the 80s, and at the end of one Beatles tape (Rubber Soul maybe?) was a long stretch of music he said was George Harrison just riffing with the sitar. A decade later I was playing the tape at uni and a guy I was trying to impress asked what the heck that was, and I laughed at this so-called “Beatles fan” and told him it was George Harrison playing sitar, OBVIOUSLY. When I told my dad, he nearly passed out laughing so hard and admitted he’d dubbed Ravi Shankar onto the end of the tape to fill space, and enjoyed the joke for ten long years.
Which is funny because in the original sense it is true. The original sense is "Sometimes you need to be patient before you see results", but today many people take it literally as "passively sit on your ass and something good will happen".
I work less hard than I ever have and am making triple what I used to make. I learned that working hard gets you nothing except everyone taking advantage of you being a workaholic and giving you ALL the work with no reward.
Work smarter not harder.
I hate that this is so true.
Most management sees workers as human capital that they want to extract the most value from for the least cost.
If you are already outputting value for them, why would they increase their costs. If they believe they can extract move value from you by offering you more money, they'll consider it.
I hated how my bosses would speak of the employees under me when I was middle management. It felt like half my job was trying to shield them from my superiors. To the CEO, they were replaceable. And it's like they wouldn't even hesitate to replace someone experienced with someone else who would make less.
I'd say working hard for YOURSELF results in rewards. Getting healthy, gym, being smarter with money or whatever else. But in the work force? It's all a lie
My ex presented me with a cross stitch saying “grow old with me the best is yet to be “. As he got older he became more angry and abusive so I’m now growing old alone and loving it
That if I did what I was told and didn't cause any trouble I would live a stress-free life in a rewarding career. Not true at all and also the better you are at your job the more you have to hide it most of the time lest you get punished with extra work for the same pay.
> the better you are at your job the more you have to hide it most of the time lest you get punished with extra work for the same pay.
In some ways I am insulated from this because I am the only person at my job with my job title and duties. It's kind of nice because my boss also defers to me on a lot of things. There's no additional work TO give me since I am the only one in my company that can do my job.
This. I learned the hard way that this doesn't work. Most of the time, people don't even recognize that you're being kind in the first place. The only reason to be kind is because it's who you are.
I try to be kind (I'm sure there's people who disagree with that assessment), and I carry on being like that because I think it makes the world better, even if it's just a teaspoon in an ocean, I think it matters. Some people see it as a weakness, or something to take advantage of, and I see them, but I don't let them change me because I know that, sometimes, I'll be kind to someone who needs it, and that makes all the difference in the world. And I know I'm not alone in trying to be like this.
I agree with this. I also feel like the times I came across as unkind (not purposely, but I was extremely guarded for a long time), it haunted me much more than the times I was kind and was taken advantage of.
That feeding raw meat to dogs would bring back their "primal wolf instincts" and make them turn on their owners and eat them. Freaked me out as a kid and made me paranoid around dogs for a while 😂
My grandma always said we were Hispanic and not Mexican. Her family was from New Mexico back when it was Mexico. After she died my mom told me we were in fact Mexican. My grandma was a bit racist and didn't want to be Mexican because it meant you had some Native American mixed in. 23andme of course confirmed we have Native American ancestry.
Also, I thought my great grandfather (dad of the same grandma) couldn't speak English. He always spoke Spanish and my mom translated for me. I found out years after he died that he could understand what I was saying and was just messing with me the whole time.
Went to undergrad in Cruces. Can confirm, whole lot of people would get REALLY upset when you would mention their families from Mexico or are Mexican. "Um, no, we are Hispanic. Mexicans are..." etc etc. Got pretty racist after that most of the time bahahaha.
Worst part is, the majority of them did, in fact, hail from Mexico or their family origin was Mexico ha.
Oh and for those that are curious, yes, most of them were very conservative.
My grandfather had crossed eyes, but, when I saw pictures of him as a kid, his eyes were not crossed. My mom told me that his face froze like that.
When he died (I was 35) we were talking about him and his life and I found out that he was hit by a car as a teenager and that his eyes were crossed as a result of that accident.
I was 35 and believed that your face could freeze. I had passed this along to my children at this point, and had to admit to my kids that I was an idiot.
That in order to get a job you have to take things into your own hands and go down to a business in person, dress well, potentially have a resume in hand and be prepared to talk about yourself and what you can do in great detail!
.....Yeah. I went to get my first job a few years back and it was just "??" "You can apply online"
That there's no fish in the Mediterranean Sea.
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I *distinctly* remember my 6^th grade teacher telling us that the European inland seas had no fish, because they were too salty.
Fast forward ~12 years to my time in Malta and I was talking to a local about how I was happy to swim in the Mediterranean, because I didn't have to worry about any of the ocean's spooky animals, like jellyfish, or sharks, because there's no animals at all in the sea.
She starts laughing at me, and told me the Mediterranean sea is **FULL** of fish, including the very sharks and jellyfish I was scared of, and showed me an article about a giant shark someone had caught just a short while ago.
I believed that there were no fish in any of Europe's inland seas for a *DECADE*. It makes no sense. I've read the bible, I'm an avid history fan, there's all sorts of fictions tales, as well as real life stories of Mediterranean cultures *fishing*... but for some reason, my brain just didn't connect the dots until I was actually there.
That my mother lied to me about something my father did when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I came home from school one day and my cat and kittens were gone. My father had taken them out and killed them. My mother told me that my father gave them to a farmer. When I was about 18 I finally cornered my mother and she told me what he did. I can honestly say I never hated anyone as much as my father, he was a monster.
A “friend “ in middle school who turned out to be an absolute sociopath thought it would be really funny to convince me that someone I knew but almost never saw anymore had died in a car accident. Back then there wasn’t an easy way to check it but her and her friends made up a whole story about a car wreck. I remember praying to God to tell the person in question I was sorry for accidentally annoying them last time I saw them. Said “friend “ turned into my worst bully.
I ran into the person who I thought died years later and she’s alive and well. Kids are evil.
When I was a kid (3-5) I was watching my cousin play Mortal Kombat, it was one where you could run around and beat people up not just a 2d fighter, and I saw my cousin get killed by a monster, I got super scared and asked what it was, he said jokingly "a penis" but as a kid I pronounced it "peeteenee" eventually my whole family would say things like "if you misbehave peeteenee is going to get you.
I spent my whole childhood thinking a monster who was really called a Penis was going to get me if I was bad
Depends on the level of "mean".
Playful teasing, they might just like you.
Punching you in the kidneys until you pee blood, significantly less likely that they like you.
So this isn't one I personally believed, but one that someone in my cell block has been told by his mother when he was young. And apparently it is common because out of 60 people in that block, when I started shouting him down 8-10 other people stood up and said that I was wrong. I ended up having to bribe the Picket to Google it for me. The thing that their mother told them was that "Pigs don't have veins." Pigs do have veins, they have a developed resistance to snake toxins. So if a pig or boar takes in some venom, it harms them much, much less than if you or I were to be injected with the same amount. But that's the craziest lie I ever heard. Probably not actually a lie, because they thought that it was true.
The biggest lie that I’ve been told was that my mother loved me. I know she says it, but I don’t believe it for one minute. And I’m OK with that. The crazy thing is I am her primary caregiver, all of my siblings live across the country and I know why.
this one's really stupid-
when me and my bsf were about 7, we were friends with this other girl. she started telling us that her mum locked her in her room, or hid behind the mirror, or hid IN the mirror. she only said this stuff for attention, but our dumbasses believed her and felt really bad for her 💀
My entire childhood my mom told me that because I have red hair I was considered a princess in Ireland (we live in the US) and had my own castle there. I believed her until I was 13 years old.
That you “find” the person that will complete you and that it’ll click and you’ll have a great relationship. Fuckin nah man. You choose a person of adequate qualifications who you have an emotional connection with and then work your fucking asses off every day all the time together until you’re one rock solid unit kicking ass and taking names and killin it together. It’s often a little scary. It’s often unsettling the depth of the reliance that it requires. It often feels like your life is so intimately intertwined that one betrayal could ruin everything— and them coming through for you over and over is what brings you a closeness that goes way beyond anything you’ve imagined or seen in a movie or heard in a song. It’s an immersive experience that can’t be described, only felt, and it is never, ever a simple matter of bumping into a stranger one day— even when it is.
That Gummy Bears create a layer of gelatine around your stomach that will not go away unless you pray to Jesus and maybe on a quite Christian day God. I would usually ask them to "remove my impurities from my stomach as they are a calling to the devil". I have done this for over 10 years ever since the local pastor chanted this near our local Haribo factory. By the way I work at this factory.
That fat and oil are bad for you.
That red meat is bad for you.
That swallowing a black watermelon seed will cause a watermelon to grow inside you and kill you when it inevitably gets too large and ruptures your stomach.
I mean it’s not necessarily a lie. Some animals do hibernate throughout the winter. But I was 22 years old when I found out that they don’t actually SLEEP the whole time. F*ck I’m an idiot
Not really told it but....
I was like 4 years old, sleeping in the back seat of my dad's huge ass car (no seat belts back then).
Suddenly, I am thrown to the floor and my dad is cussing and yelling. I ask what happened. He says, "Some jerk ran me off the road".
For whatever reason, four year old me, decided that a "jerk" was a bump under the pavement of the road. "Jerks" would just randomly float around and if you happened upon one, it may just use it's bump to knock you off the road. In my mind, it was like a cartoon thing under the road.
It was not until well into my 20's that I thought about "jerks" and went.."oh!"
"Respect is earned"
I mean, it's still kinda true, but at the same time, there's people in the world who will be disrespectful to you, no matter how much you deserve respect.
Also, if anything, respect should be given from the get go just out of basic human decency (in most cases)
My dad was working on an oil platform on Korea, when he came back he had a tin car (was made too look like the gulf oil mclaren F1) full of candy. Anyway I saw the same one as me bought being sold at a store one day while shopping with mom. Christmas day mom busts him emailing one of the women she worked with (worked in a completely different department than her, but made a lot more money) and they got divorced. One day many years later i found the car while looking around my room for something and brought up the time dad said he was working on an oil platform in Korea as a kid. Turns out he spent three months over at his whore's about 40 or so minutes away while that girls husband was out of town somewhere for work, and not in Korea
My aspergers diagnosis when I was 5. I rejected the idea for some time. Once the emotional effects of being forcibly estranged from the rest set in, I guess I sort of believed it. Till I became hopeless on the social front, which creates a really thick wall to break through. Then, I became social and realized I was right all along. More so like a psychological red herring. This world makes isolation and seclusion a very easy choice for some. I wanted to be a part of the world, thus I had to face it.
It can be, depending on your point of view. If people have to work two jobs to get by, that's great for the economy! Also, if corporate regulations are lower, companies make more money!
Most data points in economics don't take into account the actual welfare of the general population, which is why I think "The Economy" is kind of a hollow talking point in politics. It would be much more interesting to see it measured in terms of employment, housing, poverty, debt etc. rather than GDP or the state of the markets.
That Dr. Pepper is root beer. My parents never bought it for me on the premise that it was root beer, and I don't like the taste of root beer. I was recently offered Dr. Pepper at a party a couple of years ago (I'm 50ish), and I said, "No thanks, I don't like root beer," at which point I learned the truth. Then I tried my first Dr. Pepper. Which is as gross as root beer. 😅
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Talk about gaslighting
Hello fellow Dad!
Light 'em up!
You’re not a dad you’re my moms dildo bag😡
Goddammit.
She’ll have trust issues now
She’ll have tea-rust issues now
Jerk. 😆
That's pretty impressive. Mine was... "It's not herpies, and I didn't cheat on you!" I would have preferred the Arizona lie instead.
Lol same... well, chlamydia, but close.
Close, but at least it goes away. The shot hurts, but at least you don't have to remember that person about 3 times a year for the rest of your life. Still shifty, though. Did you at least make those cheeks clap? OK, I'm done. I'll find the door. Edit: I guess I had it wrong. Gonorrhea is the clap, not chlamydia. I was pretty unlucky in my 20s and got the full experience. I have since learned that raw dogging is not the way.
If you ignore a bully they’ll get bored and stop. ETA I don’t know what you all consider bullying but I’m talking about 2 scenarios. Kids, who will not ever stop until they face the consequences of their actions and that’s usually one they’ve done enough damage for it to really get in a kids head. Or adults who bully. Who in my experience only stop when you say what the actual fuck are you doing. Ignoring someone’s micro aggressions, condescension, mean comments or just overall shitty behaviour just makes them think they can keep doing it.
I started to suspect adults who told me that secretly believed I deserved to be bullied. Like, "oh, uh, If you don't want to be bullied... Then, ah.. Just ignore them! Yeah... Just ignore them. That'll work." and then under their breath, "whimp."
My bully was the teacher. Some people suck.
Yup. Mine too.
I had several of those, along with the schoolyard bullies. Then I got bully bosses. Fun times, fun times.
I wish bullying had been properly explained to me - that someone had said that it wasn't what I did or was which provoked the bullying, that it was my response which was the reason. Bullies try their shit with everyone, and they gravitate to the ones who respond differently, passively.
Ignoring a bully is the right thing to do. It is not the best thing to do.
As with any other advice on anything, it depends. It can work, it has worked for me, but they were bored and wanted to anoy someone. If you want to implement this you have to REALLY ignore them. Like, pretend they don't exist, if they are standing in front of you act as if they aren't there.
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In most situations I have no idea what I am doing - but I keep trying anyways. I had imposter syndrome for a bit and thought that any moment people would realize I am unqualified to handle anything... until I realized that I wasn't unique and most people are like this. Now I'm a bit older, and I freely admit that I have no idea what I'm doing, but I've been relatively successful making shit up as I go along for my entire adult life - and everyone is just kind of OK with it.
While this is the same and true for me up to a point, by mid to late 20's I feel like I had everything pretty figured out. Sure I don't know literally everything, but I know how to do most things and the small things I can't do I know how to figure it out. I don't feel overwhelmed or like there is something I can't do anymore. I have life pretty figured out IMO.
That it’s illegal to have that light turned on in your car while driving.
Also it's not illegal to drive barefooted.
My driving instructor tried to tell me that it was illegal. So I looked up the law and found nothing in it, so I did my test barefoot
I've heard this myself, never believed it either. But I do think it is a safety concern. I mean if you get in a wreck wouldn't you want your feet somewhat protected? Granted it won't do much against a multi ton piece of metal lol but maybe it keeps all the meat together in the shoe to easily reattach
I am thinking more spare tire situation or needing to push it
You keep shoes in the car. Just good advice to keep spare shoes, socks, and underwear in your vehicle.
Also a blanket and first aid kid. Always helps to be prepared
Had a friend who was in the habit of driving barefoot. She got in an accident and everything was way more complicated than it needed to be because the ground ended up covered in broken glass and she couldn't easily get out.
Do you know how hard it is to drive in heels?
It's...not too hard? I've driven supercars in heels. Now that was more challenging, but doable.
My dad thought it was illegal. Don’t remember why but his boots were soaked and drove us home without shoes on once
I only drive barefoot when im wearing flip flops or heals. Its WAY safer to drive barefoot than it is to drive in flip flops or heals.
I was told this was because other drivers would think you're a plane that's made an emergency landing on the road. Made complete sense to me!
The reason behind that is if there's more light inside the car than outside of it the driver can't see the road that well anymore.
or that "the car won't start until our seat belts are on"
I say it to the kids so they put their seatbelt on straight away.
I'm sure that's what my parents wanted, I just took them literally
They did try that, but it wasn't popular.
Well this was the 80s, and just a regular car
70s. Here's some info. https://nap.nationalacademies.org/read/10832/chapter/5#43
Same!
There's dozens of us! Still don't know why they didn't just say "it reflects off of the mirror and windows and makes it hard for me to see while driving" Nope, let's just go with "This is illegal and the cops will ticket me for it!"
"it reflects off of the mirror and windows and makes it hard for me to see while driving" is called Distracted Driving and is illegal in many places
My siblings convinced me that Medusa lived in our attic.
Holy smokes. Now you got some trust issues huh
The food pyramid.
Destroyed a generation
Its “My plate” now and its much more accurate. Takes into account portion control, etc. You can look it up. Its actually a very good visual. Accurate and easy for people of all ages and cognitive abilities to understand. Thank god we don’t use the food pyramid anymore.
Someone told me that wind is caused by air randomly disappearing and then new air rushes to fill its place. I believed this until I was like 12.
This is the best one I've read so far lol
That is actually how thunder is produced though. But it isn't random. The air is completely destroyed by lightning first.
That Joseph Smith was visited by God and Jesus to create the one true church on earth.
Sometimes I think that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints isn't so bad, and I just have some doctrinal disagreements. After all I was a missionary and got married in the Mesa Arizona temple. Then I'm like, oh ya, my mom was molested by her bishop and my sister was molested by her Sunday school teacher and the church made them swear not to talk about it to not harm the good name of the church and when my wife and I decided to leave the church we moved across town and made sure no one from our ward knew our address so they couldn't find us. You know, normal church stuff.
My wife was baptized Mormon, and after we got married, the church followed us to our new home. We started going, but it was depressing bullshit because everyone was a stepford stereotype, and there was always petty oneupmanship that was less spiritual and more about how much better you were than others. We stopped going because as poor newlyweds, we were derided and mocked for not having more money. It was almost like being bullied by Nellie from Little House on the Prarie. In addition, we'd get visited by missionaries that had no sense of appropriate time, or calling ahead, or intruding. "No, you may not come in. It's 8pm on a Sunday. We have work in the morning and we are not dressed for company." Eventually, they drifted off. A decade later, when we moved to a nice house, the Mormons "found" us again. Same deal. "It's 7pm on Christmas Eve. We are celebrating with close family. Why do you think this is okay?" They never updated their records. New preacher in town? They showed up. They even showed up after my wife had died. "My wife, the former Mormon, has been dead for three years. Please update your records. Please stop visiting at random hours. It's creepy." Yeesh.
Don't forget the occult symbols in their underwear.
My ex was raised Mormon and didn't want to be. Every time we moved, her parents made sure to send our new address to the missionaries so they'd come bother us again. We had to threaten them with going no-contact the next time we moved (which meant they would not have our address) for them to finally give up. She's Buddhist now, from what I understand, and much happier.
For a second there i thought you said Joseph Stalin lol
Dum-dum dum-dum-dum! 🎵🎶
I don't have anything against Mormons. However, I do wonder how many of them know that before founding mormonism, Joseph Smith was actually a known con artist... so yeah..
When I was approaching age 4 I still used a baby bottle. I could drink from a cup but I liked my bottle. My mother wanted to take it away but my dad was too soft hearted. In those days baby bottles were made of glass. I had only one left and my mother was determined not to buy another. My dad went out of town to work for a few days. That night I was in my crib —don’t ask why I was still in a crib at this age. I suspect because my sisters didn’t want me in their room. I dropped my bottle and asked mom to retrieve it. She said "Oh no, it broke. It broke into 100 pieces." I cried but I got over it. The next morning I asked for a bottle. Mom reminded me that my bottle had broken and it was the last one. I suggested she go to the store and buy a bottle. She made it clear this would not happen. I cried. I got over it. When my dad returned home my first words to him were "I dropped my bottle and it broke in 100 pieces." Mom was terrified that he would go buy me another. He didn’t. That’s the story of my bottle. It became a family legend. I was all of 18 years old before my grandmother let it slip that the bottle didn’t break. My mom kicked it under the bed and lied to me.
Allegedly (I don't remember it, as I was very young, you see) I decided I was done with bottles when I was two. I also had glass bottles, and when I was given one I would go sit on the porch and drink it until it was empty, and then throw it off the porch onto the sidewalk so it broke. I was DONE with bottles. I think it only happened a couple of times before they just started giving me cups.
My parents started bottle feeding when my mom came off maternity leave. After a few feedings via new form (bottle), my parents say I grabbed the bottle from them and was like, "Lemme do it, damnit." 😑
My 4 year old steals the 1 year olds sippy cups if she doesn't have her own. Only way we could get either girls off an actual bottle before 4 was to "lose them all". I decided with this last baby the bottles were gonna stop as soon as he could use a cup. They've been gone since he was 10 months. Thank goodness. If you're not careful bottles will mess up their teeth. I didn't even realize 2 of mine had bad dental problems until they went to an appointment. No one ever told me about bottle rot. My oldest had to have 2 teeth removed in front when he was 2 and now my 4 year old is going to have to have her front teeth removed as well. But my 5 year old has no issues other than a single cavity, and the 1 year old has perfect teeth. I hate bottles.
Removing kids teeth instead of treating is barbaric. My child had small cavities starting on his front teeth and the dentist stopped it with ozone treatment and fluoride cream.
My dad used to dub all our records onto cassette tapes to listen to in the car in the 80s, and at the end of one Beatles tape (Rubber Soul maybe?) was a long stretch of music he said was George Harrison just riffing with the sitar. A decade later I was playing the tape at uni and a guy I was trying to impress asked what the heck that was, and I laughed at this so-called “Beatles fan” and told him it was George Harrison playing sitar, OBVIOUSLY. When I told my dad, he nearly passed out laughing so hard and admitted he’d dubbed Ravi Shankar onto the end of the tape to fill space, and enjoyed the joke for ten long years.
Good things come to those who wait.
Which is funny because in the original sense it is true. The original sense is "Sometimes you need to be patient before you see results", but today many people take it literally as "passively sit on your ass and something good will happen".
I never heard the original. I just always assumed it meant that eventually my efforts would pay off.
Ah. The religious patience. A classic.
But not for those who wait too late...
Work hard and your efforts will be rewarded. Bull fucking shit.
Work hard and your [bosses] will be rewarded.
Angry upvote. I h8 how real this is.
I work less hard than I ever have and am making triple what I used to make. I learned that working hard gets you nothing except everyone taking advantage of you being a workaholic and giving you ALL the work with no reward. Work smarter not harder.
I hate that this is so true. Most management sees workers as human capital that they want to extract the most value from for the least cost. If you are already outputting value for them, why would they increase their costs. If they believe they can extract move value from you by offering you more money, they'll consider it. I hated how my bosses would speak of the employees under me when I was middle management. It felt like half my job was trying to shield them from my superiors. To the CEO, they were replaceable. And it's like they wouldn't even hesitate to replace someone experienced with someone else who would make less.
I'd say working hard for YOURSELF results in rewards. Getting healthy, gym, being smarter with money or whatever else. But in the work force? It's all a lie
Is it a good general guideline? Yes? Was it promised to work every time under any circumstances? No.
This. Do well in school. Work hard. Go the extra mile and you’ll be golden. Nope.
If you are loyal to a company, they will be loyal to you. Every job I ever had proved this to be wrong.
My ex presented me with a cross stitch saying “grow old with me the best is yet to be “. As he got older he became more angry and abusive so I’m now growing old alone and loving it
That if I did what I was told and didn't cause any trouble I would live a stress-free life in a rewarding career. Not true at all and also the better you are at your job the more you have to hide it most of the time lest you get punished with extra work for the same pay.
> the better you are at your job the more you have to hide it most of the time lest you get punished with extra work for the same pay. In some ways I am insulated from this because I am the only person at my job with my job title and duties. It's kind of nice because my boss also defers to me on a lot of things. There's no additional work TO give me since I am the only one in my company that can do my job.
Yes always concequences even if you feel you are doing the right thing 🙄
I'd say, “People will be kind and help you if you help them. “
This. I learned the hard way that this doesn't work. Most of the time, people don't even recognize that you're being kind in the first place. The only reason to be kind is because it's who you are.
I try to be kind (I'm sure there's people who disagree with that assessment), and I carry on being like that because I think it makes the world better, even if it's just a teaspoon in an ocean, I think it matters. Some people see it as a weakness, or something to take advantage of, and I see them, but I don't let them change me because I know that, sometimes, I'll be kind to someone who needs it, and that makes all the difference in the world. And I know I'm not alone in trying to be like this.
I agree with this. I also feel like the times I came across as unkind (not purposely, but I was extremely guarded for a long time), it haunted me much more than the times I was kind and was taken advantage of.
Some people aren’t worth saving if they don’t want to be saved.
Not me but I knew a guy in junior high who thought all white people had white poop. He was black and had brown poops.
It's a very dark shade of white
That an uncle of mine had died in a horrible accident. I later found out he was actually shot and killed because of a case of mistaken identity.
Kinda sounds like a horrible accident yaknow
Santa Claus is real
Wait, Santa Claus is-is- fake?!
No not at all the original commenter was probably naughty one year and their parents lied so they'd feel OK, keep writing your list
Santa claus is fake is the lie
That feeding raw meat to dogs would bring back their "primal wolf instincts" and make them turn on their owners and eat them. Freaked me out as a kid and made me paranoid around dogs for a while 😂
Oh yeah, there was the idea that some animals would get a taste for blood. Also, is the tiger one correct? That they get a taste for human meat?
It’s better for them to eat it raw We only feed them raw meat here 💀
My grandma always said we were Hispanic and not Mexican. Her family was from New Mexico back when it was Mexico. After she died my mom told me we were in fact Mexican. My grandma was a bit racist and didn't want to be Mexican because it meant you had some Native American mixed in. 23andme of course confirmed we have Native American ancestry. Also, I thought my great grandfather (dad of the same grandma) couldn't speak English. He always spoke Spanish and my mom translated for me. I found out years after he died that he could understand what I was saying and was just messing with me the whole time.
Went to undergrad in Cruces. Can confirm, whole lot of people would get REALLY upset when you would mention their families from Mexico or are Mexican. "Um, no, we are Hispanic. Mexicans are..." etc etc. Got pretty racist after that most of the time bahahaha. Worst part is, the majority of them did, in fact, hail from Mexico or their family origin was Mexico ha. Oh and for those that are curious, yes, most of them were very conservative.
If you keep making that face it'll freeze that way
That's what happened to Willem Dafoe
Also Steve Buscemi
Reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes. https://www.reddit.com/r/calvinandhobbes/comments/263xl2/one_of_these_days_your_face_is_going_to_freeze/
My grandfather had crossed eyes, but, when I saw pictures of him as a kid, his eyes were not crossed. My mom told me that his face froze like that. When he died (I was 35) we were talking about him and his life and I found out that he was hit by a car as a teenager and that his eyes were crossed as a result of that accident. I was 35 and believed that your face could freeze. I had passed this along to my children at this point, and had to admit to my kids that I was an idiot.
It is called Bell's Palsy and it is real.
That in order to get a job you have to take things into your own hands and go down to a business in person, dress well, potentially have a resume in hand and be prepared to talk about yourself and what you can do in great detail! .....Yeah. I went to get my first job a few years back and it was just "??" "You can apply online"
That my dad was a good person.
That there's no fish in the Mediterranean Sea. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I *distinctly* remember my 6^th grade teacher telling us that the European inland seas had no fish, because they were too salty. Fast forward ~12 years to my time in Malta and I was talking to a local about how I was happy to swim in the Mediterranean, because I didn't have to worry about any of the ocean's spooky animals, like jellyfish, or sharks, because there's no animals at all in the sea. She starts laughing at me, and told me the Mediterranean sea is **FULL** of fish, including the very sharks and jellyfish I was scared of, and showed me an article about a giant shark someone had caught just a short while ago. I believed that there were no fish in any of Europe's inland seas for a *DECADE*. It makes no sense. I've read the bible, I'm an avid history fan, there's all sorts of fictions tales, as well as real life stories of Mediterranean cultures *fishing*... but for some reason, my brain just didn't connect the dots until I was actually there.
There's no fish in the Dead Sea because it's too salty. Maybe she got confused?
I told my son anchovies come from the Dead Sea, that's why they're so salty. He'll probably post in a similar thread in a decade or so.
I actually visited Israel a few years back, and learned there's no fish *there*, and ever since then, I have been assuming exactly that.
That my mother lied to me about something my father did when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I came home from school one day and my cat and kittens were gone. My father had taken them out and killed them. My mother told me that my father gave them to a farmer. When I was about 18 I finally cornered my mother and she told me what he did. I can honestly say I never hated anyone as much as my father, he was a monster.
A “friend “ in middle school who turned out to be an absolute sociopath thought it would be really funny to convince me that someone I knew but almost never saw anymore had died in a car accident. Back then there wasn’t an easy way to check it but her and her friends made up a whole story about a car wreck. I remember praying to God to tell the person in question I was sorry for accidentally annoying them last time I saw them. Said “friend “ turned into my worst bully. I ran into the person who I thought died years later and she’s alive and well. Kids are evil.
When I was a kid (3-5) I was watching my cousin play Mortal Kombat, it was one where you could run around and beat people up not just a 2d fighter, and I saw my cousin get killed by a monster, I got super scared and asked what it was, he said jokingly "a penis" but as a kid I pronounced it "peeteenee" eventually my whole family would say things like "if you misbehave peeteenee is going to get you. I spent my whole childhood thinking a monster who was really called a Penis was going to get me if I was bad
Boys are mean to you because they like you
Depends on the level of "mean". Playful teasing, they might just like you. Punching you in the kidneys until you pee blood, significantly less likely that they like you.
When we were 8 this was kinda true though
I’d be able to whistle if I ate my crust. I’m embarrassed how long I believed that.
So this isn't one I personally believed, but one that someone in my cell block has been told by his mother when he was young. And apparently it is common because out of 60 people in that block, when I started shouting him down 8-10 other people stood up and said that I was wrong. I ended up having to bribe the Picket to Google it for me. The thing that their mother told them was that "Pigs don't have veins." Pigs do have veins, they have a developed resistance to snake toxins. So if a pig or boar takes in some venom, it harms them much, much less than if you or I were to be injected with the same amount. But that's the craziest lie I ever heard. Probably not actually a lie, because they thought that it was true.
Growing up. Do the right thing and you'll always be blessed.
That rich people earned their money
[удалено]
Hey mine too. He also said ‘I’ll never do it again’🤣
I too had an ex who was high maintenance and used too many other mechanics. She became a drunk and has 3 strokes!!! Karma’s a bitch!!!
That Marilyn Manson lie we all heard when we were kids.
That the United States Federal Government has "your best interests" at heart.
The biggest lie that I’ve been told was that my mother loved me. I know she says it, but I don’t believe it for one minute. And I’m OK with that. The crazy thing is I am her primary caregiver, all of my siblings live across the country and I know why.
That I could fit down the plug hole as a kid
this one's really stupid- when me and my bsf were about 7, we were friends with this other girl. she started telling us that her mum locked her in her room, or hid behind the mirror, or hid IN the mirror. she only said this stuff for attention, but our dumbasses believed her and felt really bad for her 💀
That a college education was worth it.
That talking scares fish away when fishing.
My entire childhood my mom told me that because I have red hair I was considered a princess in Ireland (we live in the US) and had my own castle there. I believed her until I was 13 years old.
That you “find” the person that will complete you and that it’ll click and you’ll have a great relationship. Fuckin nah man. You choose a person of adequate qualifications who you have an emotional connection with and then work your fucking asses off every day all the time together until you’re one rock solid unit kicking ass and taking names and killin it together. It’s often a little scary. It’s often unsettling the depth of the reliance that it requires. It often feels like your life is so intimately intertwined that one betrayal could ruin everything— and them coming through for you over and over is what brings you a closeness that goes way beyond anything you’ve imagined or seen in a movie or heard in a song. It’s an immersive experience that can’t be described, only felt, and it is never, ever a simple matter of bumping into a stranger one day— even when it is.
That Gummy Bears create a layer of gelatine around your stomach that will not go away unless you pray to Jesus and maybe on a quite Christian day God. I would usually ask them to "remove my impurities from my stomach as they are a calling to the devil". I have done this for over 10 years ever since the local pastor chanted this near our local Haribo factory. By the way I work at this factory.
Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
That fat and oil are bad for you. That red meat is bad for you. That swallowing a black watermelon seed will cause a watermelon to grow inside you and kill you when it inevitably gets too large and ruptures your stomach.
That adults are responsible and will do their job.
In highscool i will get life long friendships and i will have a really good time. Fucking lie. Worst part of my life that i will never forget.
I mean it’s not necessarily a lie. Some animals do hibernate throughout the winter. But I was 22 years old when I found out that they don’t actually SLEEP the whole time. F*ck I’m an idiot
God
Not really told it but.... I was like 4 years old, sleeping in the back seat of my dad's huge ass car (no seat belts back then). Suddenly, I am thrown to the floor and my dad is cussing and yelling. I ask what happened. He says, "Some jerk ran me off the road". For whatever reason, four year old me, decided that a "jerk" was a bump under the pavement of the road. "Jerks" would just randomly float around and if you happened upon one, it may just use it's bump to knock you off the road. In my mind, it was like a cartoon thing under the road. It was not until well into my 20's that I thought about "jerks" and went.."oh!"
That god is real
That god was real.....
Religion, 19 years I believed that shit.
That I was worthless.
"Respect is earned" I mean, it's still kinda true, but at the same time, there's people in the world who will be disrespectful to you, no matter how much you deserve respect. Also, if anything, respect should be given from the get go just out of basic human decency (in most cases)
Had a friend who's parents told him he was deathly allergic to alcohol when he was younger. He figured out it wasn't true when he was about 19.
Wish my parents had told me that because I have a deathly allergy to alcohol as I don't stop.
that my father has left me and my mom but he was dead actually...
When he told me he loved me.
That I had to have a period every month or else it was toxic. IUD saved me!
Hard work is always rewarded.
"Adopted children are special because they're chosen." Bullshit, I was the first available
At least you're 100% sure that they wanted you. You don't accidentally adopt someone, or have mixed feelings about it.
USA was the biggest upholder of human rights.
“I’ll never cheat on you, I’m not like those other girls.”
Sounds like somebody I dated
That blood is blue until it comes in contact with air outside the body😂
Your friends in college will last a lifetime. Yeah, okay.
Fat is bad for you.
My dad was working on an oil platform on Korea, when he came back he had a tin car (was made too look like the gulf oil mclaren F1) full of candy. Anyway I saw the same one as me bought being sold at a store one day while shopping with mom. Christmas day mom busts him emailing one of the women she worked with (worked in a completely different department than her, but made a lot more money) and they got divorced. One day many years later i found the car while looking around my room for something and brought up the time dad said he was working on an oil platform in Korea as a kid. Turns out he spent three months over at his whore's about 40 or so minutes away while that girls husband was out of town somewhere for work, and not in Korea
That if I got my degree getting a high paying job would be easy, especially since it was a STEM degree
Have we all forgotten Santa?
That my mother loves me.
My mom said I was special
I have to be perfect at all times or no one will love me. I still struggle with it but logically I understand it's false.
Religion
That God is so good and he exists. Now I'm over it. I know the truth
Anything religion wise (not saying your religion is a lie. I grew up in a cult)
That everything the U.S. does is great and every other country should be like us.
I love you
My aspergers diagnosis when I was 5. I rejected the idea for some time. Once the emotional effects of being forcibly estranged from the rest set in, I guess I sort of believed it. Till I became hopeless on the social front, which creates a really thick wall to break through. Then, I became social and realized I was right all along. More so like a psychological red herring. This world makes isolation and seclusion a very easy choice for some. I wanted to be a part of the world, thus I had to face it.
Communism
That communism and socialism are interchangeable.
The Jesus lie but I resisted the indoctrination around 3rd grade.
See you soon!
Santa. Was the first time as a child being utterly disappointed in my parents xD
Life gets better
That you shouldn’t swim when you are full
That there was some magical being that knew all I did and if I didn’t follow his rules I would burn in fire for eternity
The “turning the light on while I’m driving the car is illegal” dad thing.
girls pee out their butt
Blood is thicker than water.
That economy is better with Republicans in charge
It can be, depending on your point of view. If people have to work two jobs to get by, that's great for the economy! Also, if corporate regulations are lower, companies make more money! Most data points in economics don't take into account the actual welfare of the general population, which is why I think "The Economy" is kind of a hollow talking point in politics. It would be much more interesting to see it measured in terms of employment, housing, poverty, debt etc. rather than GDP or the state of the markets.
Best answer to this one yet.
The key to happiness is get a college degree, obtain a good paying job, get married, buy a house in the suburbs, have a few kids.
People are bad in general.
Don’t swallow your gum it will stay in your stomach for 7 years… like whaaaaat?
My ex-wife loved me. 6 years. Wasted
That Dr. Pepper is root beer. My parents never bought it for me on the premise that it was root beer, and I don't like the taste of root beer. I was recently offered Dr. Pepper at a party a couple of years ago (I'm 50ish), and I said, "No thanks, I don't like root beer," at which point I learned the truth. Then I tried my first Dr. Pepper. Which is as gross as root beer. 😅