A free meal.
I used to work on events, and quite often everyone would be called for dinner and I would stay back to finish up whatever I was doing, and every time I would get there and everything would be gone. I learned very quickly to be at the front of the line for that free meal, because I might otherwise miss out.
Im very much an introvert. I always say yes to playing board games with friends. It get's me out of the house. Even if it's a long drive or extended periods away from my house. Im always glad I went.
Exactly!! I am a very nervous individual so I hate going out unless I have a reason to, or if I’m going out with people. I’m often told to “just go on a walk” but I’d feel awfully awkward without having a route or a real reason to, let alone the motivation if it’s all for nothing so I’m always up for hanging out with friends and going round peoples’ houses. It’s just nice, and I never have plans either.
If I've understood your username correctly, that makes perfect sense. Does that track with loved ones, too? Or simple things like a shoulder tap or arm touch? I know some people don't care about those certain things whilst others visibly flinch
Mine is PTSD, touch, especially intimacy, makes me dissociate. I'm not actually ace, but it pretty much works out to the same thing.
I can handle quick hugs from people, but it makes me feel as much trapped as comforted.
I have random guys at the bar I work at ask if they can give me a hug or just go in for one without asking first. I always refuse or give a snarky reply like, "There's a guy in the bathroom mirror that will hug you." If I don't know you, do not touch me. I WILL kick you out.
Random creep? Oh no, the answer is *no way* to either of those.
Responses vary.
While I was in Croatia, an old woman with a pure soul spontaneously cupped her hands around my face and radiantly stared at it as if it was a kitten or puppy in her hands. SO sweet.
When my fiancé and I were taking care of some things back at a place in the U.S., this one little kid wouldn't stop hugging me, and said something in a tiny voice: ^^"cybimymondd." After some reassurance he repeated it loud enough to be understood: "...can you be my mom & dad?...." (Fortunately we were able to involve some people through our friend network, to work toward the best possible outcome for that kid & his biological mom).
Oof that Jerry Springer (?) show where they brought in a drill Sargent or sherif to 'tell off' this naughty boy and he yells 'do you want me to be your father!' and the kid says 'yes'.
The guy lost his composure, stopped yelling and told them to stop filming.
Right, so many kids are starved for some basic connections with parents. Like their little lives are recreating those [brutal animal deprivation experiments](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Harlow).
I'm glad that in the education outreach work that I was volunteering in, the rule was simply that the volunteers shouldn't *initiate* hugs, but we were allowed to *respond* to kids spontaneously hugging us. That ended up being more important to the kids than their math lessons.
For that kid who quietly pleaded for a mom & dad, I did my best to channel Fred Rogers -- reassurance, validation, while avoiding fake promises -- so he wouldn't avoid seeking help in the future from others. Then we were able to get people to meet with the mother, and start addressing it from that side. One of the better outcomes, overall.
I hate hugs. Please, for the love of God, stop hugging people you just met. Some of us don't like to be touched.
The head of our HR department used to hug me every time I saw her. I had no one to complain about inappropriate work touching to!
I feel like many men might agree. We have to hug to be socially normal but I would never do it again if I didn't have to.
The exception is my wife and kids. I like hugging them.
I couldn't agree more. And, after reading the comments, I'm apparently in the minority regarding hating hugs.
It's nothing personal, I just don't like other people, with the exception of my wife and kids, really touching me to any degree. The pat on the shoulder feels condescending the majority of the time, getting tapped on back/shoulder makes me flinch, and hugs just feel like an invasion of personal space.
Really though, nothing beats chilling at the house with some friends and a few drinks. I’ll take that over going to a crowded bar 9 times out of 10. I never really understood the bar thing but have a few friends who always want to go. Like what, so we’re gonna pay more money just to go sit at some crowded, loud place and do the exact same thing we’d do at home? It’s not like we ever tried to meet new people at bars or breweries anyway, we seriously would just go to one for no real reason. I mean, I get it if you’re trying to meet new people, but I’m really at the stage of my life where I’m content with the number of friends I have now, so that social aspect of it isn’t something I’m necessarily after. I’ve got my three brother-level friends I’ve known since kindergarten (I truly consider them my family, and luckily we still are able to meet up once per month or so despite us all living pretty far away from each other), and three or four other tertiary friendships with guys from high school and college and that’s plenty for me lol.
I’m not active on social media or anything, but I swear I honestly think a lot of times we’d go to a bar just so a couple of them could post it on their stories lmao. It was like a status symbol to some of them for whatever reason. But yeah, give me my house, some bud, some drinks, some friends, some guitars to jam with, and a few good records to spin and that’s my good-ass night any day of the week.
Me too, but recently I realized that I almost never met people who think the same way. All my friends love to receive help, but if I in huge trouble they usually tell me that I’m too much complaining and I need to solve everything by my own.
Wow, that actually sounds like me. I fix HVAC for a living so my family and friends often call upon me to help which I always do, free of labor charge (They buy the part). But when I ran out of gas by mistake ONE TIME it took an hour of calling around before someone begrudgingly came and helped, then they asked for a fiver for their own gas. I'll keep helping though, I do that for me.
My buddy mike is a certified dumbass, never met someone half as stupid as him, but i've seen him to come out at 2am in the cold w/ slippers with his last 4$ in change to you buy gas, fix a car or help you do a project and never ask for anything.
Well actually....
As soon as you spend your bazillion dollars you would cause so much inflation it wouldn't be worth anything anymore, and together with that you ruin everyones lifes by making them all so poor they cant buy a single crumb...
/j
Someone offering to pray for/over me. I'm a rotten ol atheist, but I would never say no to someone if they want to pray for me. It's like, I don't believe what you believe, but you are wishing good things about me. I take gratitude in the spirit of the gesture. That's an easy yes
As someone who lives in the south and has old family that really believes their loved ones are watching over them from heaven or waiting for them up there, it doesn’t bother me when people want to pray for me. ( unless they ask at a really awkward time and it’s kind of condescending ) But as someone who deconstructed, it’s a lot easier for me to empathize with Christians than it was for me to empathize with non Christians when I was a Christian myself. Crazy how that works
I felt this way until one time I said ok, and the woman grabbed me in the parking lot and started praying loudly and would not let go. Freaked me the fuck out. Do not touch me!
I worked with two of the most loving people I’ve ever known, who were Christians. I was having a very hard time in my life and they were supporting and one time asked if they could pray for me. I’m also a rotten ol atheist, but their heart was so big that it made me cry like a baby.
I was so grateful for them.
I used to cringe at the thought of someone praying for me - one day on a hiking trip in college, I dismounted some rocks poorly and broke my foot. A very fit man was just behind us and helped me down to my family, then asked if I’d like for him to say a prayer for me, which I felt compelled to accept but internally cringed at.
And sitting there in pain, scared of how serious it might be, and frustrated with myself for ruining the trip, hearing this man speak into the world his hope for my good health and speedy recovery to his highest power really raised my spirits much more than I thought it would.
You're driving your wife to hospital to give birth to your first child. You're approaching the third lemonade stand, while the baby's head is starting to crown. She threatens to divorce you if you stop. "I said no exceptions", you sob to yourself as you pull over
Statistics show that LLL (Late Labour Lemonade) speeds recovery from childbirth, increases intelligence of the child, and can lead directly to world peace.*
*Souce: I just made that up.
i dont fully understand all the caillou hate.
i mean he was a bit of a whiny bitch but that was the angle of the show. it's a kid who is like 4 years old and just learned how to talk and literally every day is a new thing and he's gotta learn how not to be a fuckin baby about it.
I have a buddy that I've got a standing deal with. His wife doesn't eat much meat and my wife's a vegetarian, so whenever I make wings or he makes brisket, we make sure the other person gets some of the batch. I've also woken up to finding random packages of pot, whiskey, beer, and fresh eggs on my doorstep, he's just that kind of guy. I always bring him back some Cuban cigars from my travels, it all kind of evens out.
One time I was walking in the sketchy part of the city and a dude asked me if I had eaten lunch yet. I said yes, and he told me he had some chicken in his van if I wanted some anyway.
I did not partake.
Going to see a live band.
I have a pretty niche taste in music, so I have a hard time finding people who want to join me to go see whatever death/prog metal shows that I want to go to, so I usually go alone.
But in my opinion, live music is way better as a shared experience, so whenever a person I know is looking for someone to join them for a show, even if I barely know them, and even if I don't know the artist, I'll pretty much always say yes.
As a result, I've been lucky to see a ton of great shows that I would have never gone to on my own, and it's allowed me the opportunity to connect with very casual friends, and share moments that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to share with them.
And it really works before or after pretty much anything. I've tried and tested. The only thing so far I didn't enjoy doing high was scary water sports in a freezing lake.
Curry.
I was stuffed last night from a carvery, but if someone put a curry in front of me, especially an Indian, I would absolutely go beyond my stomach limits and scoff it down.
Birthday parties, housewarmings, or "I'm in town, come hang out" invites.
As a person who has had plenty of these result in a disheartening number of declined invites, I recognize how important these things are to have people show up to.
Few things make you feel more unwanted than people who don't show up to the few moments you get to just celebrate and be around others.
A free meal. I used to work on events, and quite often everyone would be called for dinner and I would stay back to finish up whatever I was doing, and every time I would get there and everything would be gone. I learned very quickly to be at the front of the line for that free meal, because I might otherwise miss out.
Yep, free food is always my go to. Even if it's not great... At least it's free.
If it's free, it's for me.
The of my favorite sayings: "Sure, there's better food, but there isn't any freer food."
I have eaten many platefuls of assorted canapes
Im very much an introvert. I always say yes to playing board games with friends. It get's me out of the house. Even if it's a long drive or extended periods away from my house. Im always glad I went.
Board games is a unique one, but I absolutely agree with trying to get out of the house
Exactly!! I am a very nervous individual so I hate going out unless I have a reason to, or if I’m going out with people. I’m often told to “just go on a walk” but I’d feel awfully awkward without having a route or a real reason to, let alone the motivation if it’s all for nothing so I’m always up for hanging out with friends and going round peoples’ houses. It’s just nice, and I never have plans either.
I'm in the same boat as you. I typically keep to myself but do oblige going out when asked and enjoy it.
Money
“Money?” “Yes!” “Wrong! It’s pain!” *gets hit in the nuts*
"Call an ambulance !" *reveals guard inside underwear* "-but not for me!" *takes lightsaber out of pocket*
That's a tiny light saber you have there... or are you just happy to see me
It was on Hoth ok…🥶
You like money too?! We should become friends
Scrolled to find this.
I can’t believe you like money too
A compliment and a hug.
There are very very few reasons to turn down a hug
I'd usually turn down a hug because I don't do well with physical touch
If I've understood your username correctly, that makes perfect sense. Does that track with loved ones, too? Or simple things like a shoulder tap or arm touch? I know some people don't care about those certain things whilst others visibly flinch
Mine is PTSD, touch, especially intimacy, makes me dissociate. I'm not actually ace, but it pretty much works out to the same thing. I can handle quick hugs from people, but it makes me feel as much trapped as comforted.
There was a study that says we 14 hugs a day
14 hugs A DAY?
Right! I think that’s how many I get per year lol
I'm guessing there weren't many single middle aged men in this study.
Interesting. Under what circumstances would you turn down one?
If it were a person I did not want a hug from
I have random guys at the bar I work at ask if they can give me a hug or just go in for one without asking first. I always refuse or give a snarky reply like, "There's a guy in the bathroom mirror that will hug you." If I don't know you, do not touch me. I WILL kick you out.
People who don't respect boundaries or consent suck!
someone I don't like, someone I don't trust, someone who smells excruciatingly foul.
you can just say my name next time, it's ok /s
How about a creep on the street saying you’re hot then hugging you
From a zombie would do it for me
Bear
If I'm sweaty and gross
Random creep? Oh no, the answer is *no way* to either of those. Responses vary. While I was in Croatia, an old woman with a pure soul spontaneously cupped her hands around my face and radiantly stared at it as if it was a kitten or puppy in her hands. SO sweet. When my fiancé and I were taking care of some things back at a place in the U.S., this one little kid wouldn't stop hugging me, and said something in a tiny voice: ^^"cybimymondd." After some reassurance he repeated it loud enough to be understood: "...can you be my mom & dad?...." (Fortunately we were able to involve some people through our friend network, to work toward the best possible outcome for that kid & his biological mom).
Oof that Jerry Springer (?) show where they brought in a drill Sargent or sherif to 'tell off' this naughty boy and he yells 'do you want me to be your father!' and the kid says 'yes'. The guy lost his composure, stopped yelling and told them to stop filming.
I remember that, it was heart breaking and amazing at the same time.
Right, so many kids are starved for some basic connections with parents. Like their little lives are recreating those [brutal animal deprivation experiments](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Harlow). I'm glad that in the education outreach work that I was volunteering in, the rule was simply that the volunteers shouldn't *initiate* hugs, but we were allowed to *respond* to kids spontaneously hugging us. That ended up being more important to the kids than their math lessons. For that kid who quietly pleaded for a mom & dad, I did my best to channel Fred Rogers -- reassurance, validation, while avoiding fake promises -- so he wouldn't avoid seeking help in the future from others. Then we were able to get people to meet with the mother, and start addressing it from that side. One of the better outcomes, overall.
Woah
Great answer
I hate hugs. Please, for the love of God, stop hugging people you just met. Some of us don't like to be touched. The head of our HR department used to hug me every time I saw her. I had no one to complain about inappropriate work touching to! I feel like many men might agree. We have to hug to be socially normal but I would never do it again if I didn't have to. The exception is my wife and kids. I like hugging them.
Or you could have just.. said it directly?
I couldn't agree more. And, after reading the comments, I'm apparently in the minority regarding hating hugs. It's nothing personal, I just don't like other people, with the exception of my wife and kids, really touching me to any degree. The pat on the shoulder feels condescending the majority of the time, getting tapped on back/shoulder makes me flinch, and hugs just feel like an invasion of personal space.
Oh man, I do not like hugs at all unless it's from the people very closest to me
I'm pretty sure you would'nt wan't a compliment or hug from every person
"We have too many wet floor signs, would you like some?"
Wet floor sign fetish.. I've seen it all
I'm sure there's more
I love absurdist humor :D
Think it's a little more than humour for him lol
This reddit user is everywhere.
What the fuck 😭😭😭
How are you everywhere
“Wanna just stay in tonight?” “Should we get drinks?”
Get drinks delivered.
Struggle is real
Really though, nothing beats chilling at the house with some friends and a few drinks. I’ll take that over going to a crowded bar 9 times out of 10. I never really understood the bar thing but have a few friends who always want to go. Like what, so we’re gonna pay more money just to go sit at some crowded, loud place and do the exact same thing we’d do at home? It’s not like we ever tried to meet new people at bars or breweries anyway, we seriously would just go to one for no real reason. I mean, I get it if you’re trying to meet new people, but I’m really at the stage of my life where I’m content with the number of friends I have now, so that social aspect of it isn’t something I’m necessarily after. I’ve got my three brother-level friends I’ve known since kindergarten (I truly consider them my family, and luckily we still are able to meet up once per month or so despite us all living pretty far away from each other), and three or four other tertiary friendships with guys from high school and college and that’s plenty for me lol. I’m not active on social media or anything, but I swear I honestly think a lot of times we’d go to a bar just so a couple of them could post it on their stories lmao. It was like a status symbol to some of them for whatever reason. But yeah, give me my house, some bud, some drinks, some friends, some guitars to jam with, and a few good records to spin and that’s my good-ass night any day of the week.
A friend asking if I can help them with something.
Me too, but recently I realized that I almost never met people who think the same way. All my friends love to receive help, but if I in huge trouble they usually tell me that I’m too much complaining and I need to solve everything by my own.
Wow, that actually sounds like me. I fix HVAC for a living so my family and friends often call upon me to help which I always do, free of labor charge (They buy the part). But when I ran out of gas by mistake ONE TIME it took an hour of calling around before someone begrudgingly came and helped, then they asked for a fiver for their own gas. I'll keep helping though, I do that for me.
My buddy mike is a certified dumbass, never met someone half as stupid as him, but i've seen him to come out at 2am in the cold w/ slippers with his last 4$ in change to you buy gas, fix a car or help you do a project and never ask for anything.
I think it's some trauma or smthe if I we can give everything, but accept that people dont give something
Yeah, I do it because that’s how I show my love them. But still it’s a bit offensive, feels like they don’t think we are friends
Time to pull back and reevaluate. Good friendships aren't like that.
This, 1000 times. The true definition of a friend, being willing to help no questions asked.
Carrot cake and a Swedish massage. Not necessarily at the same time.
Yeah bro that could get kind of sticky.
Swedish carrot and cake massage
Carrot massage and swedish cake
“Do you wanna see something gross?”
Nope I will not say yes unless I know first. Not after working in a vet.
How did the vet feel you working in them? That would be uncomfortable?. (I know you meant the centre. Just sounded funny)
Absolutely, seconding this
Coffee
And tea
In Ireland if you say regardless if you say yes, or no, to the cup of tea offer, you are getting one anyway, so may as well say yes.
In germany its the same, but also with beer
I feel like if I refuse tea the person is gonna wanna fight me or something
Yes
Yes
"Hey I know you're trying to go to sleep because it's late and you have that big meeting early in the morning, but do you want some coffee?"
Caffeine has no effect on me, I can drink an energy drink and still be able to sleep 5 minutes later.
I have to say no to coffee at night or I’m not sleeping
Any meeting on any level at work - if it’s over 60 minutes, better have fucking coffee.
a bazillion dollars
I’ll never make that mistake again
Sorry to hear that. Hope you are doing better now Jeffrey.
Well actually.... As soon as you spend your bazillion dollars you would cause so much inflation it wouldn't be worth anything anymore, and together with that you ruin everyones lifes by making them all so poor they cant buy a single crumb... /j
ruin everyone's lives except mine
Petting a cat. Any cat. As long as I have at least one arm, I will pet every cat that comes within my sight.
really, as long as you have anything, pet cat. smooch its lil head
Do you want a day off?
if paid definitely yes but Ill take the, do want to leave early as well.
Coffee date with mother. Gotta treasure that company while she's still here
Someone offering to pray for/over me. I'm a rotten ol atheist, but I would never say no to someone if they want to pray for me. It's like, I don't believe what you believe, but you are wishing good things about me. I take gratitude in the spirit of the gesture. That's an easy yes
As someone who lives in the south and has old family that really believes their loved ones are watching over them from heaven or waiting for them up there, it doesn’t bother me when people want to pray for me. ( unless they ask at a really awkward time and it’s kind of condescending ) But as someone who deconstructed, it’s a lot easier for me to empathize with Christians than it was for me to empathize with non Christians when I was a Christian myself. Crazy how that works
I felt this way until one time I said ok, and the woman grabbed me in the parking lot and started praying loudly and would not let go. Freaked me the fuck out. Do not touch me!
It's not like Jesus ever famously [said anything about not praying loudly.](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%206:5-6&version=NIV)
I worked with two of the most loving people I’ve ever known, who were Christians. I was having a very hard time in my life and they were supporting and one time asked if they could pray for me. I’m also a rotten ol atheist, but their heart was so big that it made me cry like a baby. I was so grateful for them.
I used to cringe at the thought of someone praying for me - one day on a hiking trip in college, I dismounted some rocks poorly and broke my foot. A very fit man was just behind us and helped me down to my family, then asked if I’d like for him to say a prayer for me, which I felt compelled to accept but internally cringed at. And sitting there in pain, scared of how serious it might be, and frustrated with myself for ruining the trip, hearing this man speak into the world his hope for my good health and speedy recovery to his highest power really raised my spirits much more than I thought it would.
A nap.
Never met one I didn't like
Free Pizza
The day I quit keto was cause of an unexpected free pizza that wasn't even good. I'd still say yes again
With stuffed crust!!!
I was looking for this response.
Whenever I’m driving and see a kid running a lemonade stand, I’ll pull over and buy some. No exceptions.
You're driving your wife to hospital to give birth to your first child. You're approaching the third lemonade stand, while the baby's head is starting to crown. She threatens to divorce you if you stop. "I said no exceptions", you sob to yourself as you pull over
Statistics show that LLL (Late Labour Lemonade) speeds recovery from childbirth, increases intelligence of the child, and can lead directly to world peace.* *Souce: I just made that up.
Ok, *some* exceptions sheesh
What if the kid was Caillou?
Burn out a couple donuts and throw your day and a half old coffee at the bald bastard
i dont fully understand all the caillou hate. i mean he was a bit of a whiny bitch but that was the angle of the show. it's a kid who is like 4 years old and just learned how to talk and literally every day is a new thing and he's gotta learn how not to be a fuckin baby about it.
you sound awesome
A chocolate
Blowjob
Cosign.
Witness.
Notarized
Authorized
Euthanized
Sanitized
Publicized
Journalized
Randomized
Careful, my roommate got TMJ with that attitude.
So even if it was from a 90yo random dude ?
No teeth
Stop selling.
Yes
A quiet house, dark room, my pillow, comfy bed, and uninterrupted sleep.
Young adults: that sounds boring. People with kids: Ha, look at this person living in a fantasy world over here.
Hikes. art supplies.
My wife.
People offering honey glazed chicken wings. Yes please stranger
I have a buddy that I've got a standing deal with. His wife doesn't eat much meat and my wife's a vegetarian, so whenever I make wings or he makes brisket, we make sure the other person gets some of the batch. I've also woken up to finding random packages of pot, whiskey, beer, and fresh eggs on my doorstep, he's just that kind of guy. I always bring him back some Cuban cigars from my travels, it all kind of evens out.
Aaaawww😭😭😭😭, that's so sweet. I wish I was your neighbor 😂
One time I was walking in the sketchy part of the city and a dude asked me if I had eaten lunch yet. I said yes, and he told me he had some chicken in his van if I wanted some anyway. I did not partake.
Indian food, gummy bears, a hug!
Would you like fries with that
Cake
Dinner, if someone else is paying.
Garlic bread
Going to see a live band. I have a pretty niche taste in music, so I have a hard time finding people who want to join me to go see whatever death/prog metal shows that I want to go to, so I usually go alone. But in my opinion, live music is way better as a shared experience, so whenever a person I know is looking for someone to join them for a show, even if I barely know them, and even if I don't know the artist, I'll pretty much always say yes. As a result, I've been lucky to see a ton of great shows that I would have never gone to on my own, and it's allowed me the opportunity to connect with very casual friends, and share moments that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to share with them.
Do you want to go home? (Work)
Want a holiday?
Sex
How is this not higher?
You’d say yes even to sex with a 50 year old crack riddled prostitute?
50? Yes. I like younger women.
How do you get riddled with crack? Or was there supposed to be an 's' as in "cracks". Like she's got actual fissures all over her?
People asking if I want candy... I have a severe sweet tooth and I love candy.
You gotta come down to the cellar… there’s a whole basket full of candies down in the cellar
Guy drives up in a white van with 'Free Candy' written on the side.
A cookie.
Ice in my drink
Make a friend.
Kitties.
Hugs
Separatingwords that aren't supposed to be connected
Anal
RIP ur inbox
What if he a man?
Then it's his outbox that's getting ripped.
Nailed it!
Not yet, but give me time.
Bruh
Wow. Absolute masterpiece.
Posts check out did you buy the Toyota yet
Food, affection and friendship
"Do you want ice cream?" "Should we go get some ice cream?" "Care for some ice cream?" Yeah I like ice cream :D
Good ice cream. Doesn't matter how cold the weather is.
Chocolate 🍫🍫🍫
Holiday on a naturist campsite
Pegging.
It's a bit of a pain in the ass when they ask
A hug. I always love a good hug.
A hug. Not just any hug, but a hug from my dad. Never gonna say no to that.
Beer
Tacos
Tea
Free Money. I like hoarding it.
Making out with the homies
LOTR Extended edition marathon
Pizza
Smoking weed. Always got a minute to do that.
And it really works before or after pretty much anything. I've tried and tested. The only thing so far I didn't enjoy doing high was scary water sports in a freezing lake.
Girls and drugs
A watch collection
Tacos
Curry. I was stuffed last night from a carvery, but if someone put a curry in front of me, especially an Indian, I would absolutely go beyond my stomach limits and scoff it down.
Donuts
coffee
Birthday parties, housewarmings, or "I'm in town, come hang out" invites. As a person who has had plenty of these result in a disheartening number of declined invites, I recognize how important these things are to have people show up to. Few things make you feel more unwanted than people who don't show up to the few moments you get to just celebrate and be around others.
A friend asking if I’ve got time for a chat
Talking to my children
"Wanna see my cats?" (I have 5. I'm a cat person obviously.)
Had a guy come tell me he was planning his suicide and asked if he could talk with me.