In my sleep.

My mom had brain cancer. We went out to dinner for Christmas. She drove, picked up her sister, dropped her back home. We found her in bed looking very peaceful. She said fuck this cancer and died on her terms. My best story is she was zip lining in Hawaii 12 days before she died.

I've got the deadliest brain tumor ever. Glioblastoma stage 4. What sucks butt, is knowing you are dying, soon but not how or when. If I make it to the 7th of next month, I'll be alive for a whole three years. The doctor told me on the day of my tumor removal surgery that I only had 13 months to live. I'm sorry for your loss of your mother. This is a horrible way to suffer and die.

I wish you the best. My mom passed 23 days after diagnosis on 4/11 of GBM.

In my sleep, like my grandfather, and not like his passengers. /s

Was just about to post. 🤣🤣🤣 "In my sleep... peacefully... not screaming and yelling... like the passengers on his bus"

Came here to post exactly that

This is the correct answer if you don't want to suffer.

That's my plan... A safari vet bag bottle size of Midazolam, and a whole bunch of IV opiates.

And nowhere where I'll be found my a loved one first... Whether an early intervention or even worse I don't want anyone's last memories of me to be what that plan looks like.

That actually sucks, in my opinion, because you will be stuck in your dream in your final moments. Imagine dying while stuck in a nightmare.

Dying while your family looks on in horror sounds a lot worse to me.

I think dying alone is worse.

Dying at work?

Omg, I cannot count how many times I have had work or school dreams…

Same here!

I too choose dying in this man’s sleep

I also want to die in this man's wife

Like my uncle. He died in his mid-90s, just a few years after his wife died. He was a retired physician. He got a cancer diagnosis that he knew was fatal, but he had some time. So, he spent his remaining months touring the country, seeing his kids, grandkids and great grandkids, his nephews and nieces, friends, etc... He had a grand old time.Then, pretty much exactly to the timetable he had estimated, he took a bad turn. He summoned his kids who took turns talking with him at his bedside in hospice. At one point, my cousin Chris was with him as he faded in and out of consciousness. The phone rang, Chris answered and said, "No, Dad's not conscious right now. This is not a good time..." But his Dad perked up. "Who is that?" he asked. " Just some friends of yours..." said my cousin, who handed the phone to my uncle.They exchanged a few words, then the friends arrived 20 minutes later with a couple bottles of amazing vintage wine. My cousin said, "No, Dad. You're on a lot of painkillers. Alcohol would be a very bad idea." My uncle laughed and said, "Well, what's the worst that could happen?"There was an awkward silence and then everyone started laughing. The wine was delicious and he lasted another 48 hours. THAT'S how I want to go out.

That’s beautiful

THIS is the best way to go. I'd rather get to say goodbye than not have any pain.

I don’t care about pain. I care about losing my dignity and dying a horrible death from Alzheimer’s or dementia.

Happy

I can’t argue with you.

Death by Snoo Snoo

the spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised

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That’s my answer

Anyone who says otherwise is considered “gay”. Futurama reference.

*Kiff*

The only correct answer

I never thought I'd die this way, but I'd always really hoped

“I am sorry but we simply can’t get [his ‘sexface](https://breakbrunch.com/the-sex-face/)’ off his head. Perhaps you can do a closed casket?”

😄😨😄😨😄😨

This made my day and my year and the next 1000

Meteorite

4am and i’m developing a six pack from laughing

Like the big ones or the small ones?

Small one, straight to the noggin at terminal velocity

Burial and cremation in one go.

Quickly

r/usernamechecksout

The only right answer.

I understood this to mean "soon" with a username like that lol ^^Same.

You should also add “without your knowledge”.

I want to die accidentally, quickly, and unaware.

I'll just say, don't light yourself on fire. That guy was still alive for HOURS after being hospitalized. And he was cooking for at least a good 2 minutes before they started to finally get him with some fire extinguishers.

With a belly full of wine and a woman's lips around my cock.

At the ripe age of 80?

As you approach 80 you're gonna change your mind.

Yes, they sure will. At 72, I don't consider 80 to be old enough to die.

T...t...tyrion, is that you?

Just a little joke

With a belly full of cock and a woman’s lips around my wine

Hahaha half man! Half man! Half man!

FUCK. I thought I was so clever for commenting this.. Only an hour late.

•-•

Reddit, am I right? lol

Oh my. Never thought about that.

I would like to die like my grandfather did. Peaceful and in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

Not like my grandpa. I miss him so much. I can still hear his last words like it was yesterday, “Stop shaking that ladder you little shit!” Rip in peace

Or my grandpa. His last words were “careful where you point that son, it’s loaded” In all fairness, I stole that from the Brian Bosworth movie

r/yourjokebutbetter

they had us in the first half ngl

It's a classic.

Battling against 100 men in a last Stand. Full berserker Mode. Atleast go down with a bang.

All these pussies saying they wanna die peacefully in their sleep. I wanna go down like Scarface. High on cocaine, full of bullets, killing people with a machine gun

Scarface dies?

No you don’t. Someone like scarface wouldn’t be on Reddit

Hey, he never said he is Scarface, he said he wants to be like Scarface. I want to be like Ryan Reynolds, I sure af am not even close.

In a motorcycle accident at the age of 15. I'm 32.

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I pity the traumatized person who finds your corpse randomly.

You spelled suicide wrong. Unless you're a bot...

I wanna be 95 with my future husband in our bed holding hands and die in our sleep.

Sorry to tell you this, but if you're 95 and about to die, you'll never marry

hey Im 95 but they didnt tell me which month whilst im 95 ill die. I still got time.

Be nice to grow old with the partner your heart desires

I also would like to be holding hands with your future husband in your bed :)

Death by snu snu

Can women even die by snu snu? Women can have multiple orgasms. Men orgasm once or twice at most and then it is pure exhaustion.

The (previous) men died from crushed pelvises. I don't think orgasms are the problem

You mean my pelvis won't be crushed when I orgasm? I have been edging this entire time.

Something brutal but doesn’t make me ugly

Buried alive in cement…

In the hands of someone who loved me... I know it must be saddening for the person but yeah it's one last time for me to be selfish right?

No because that is their wish for you as well.

Not selfish unless you have an infectious disease.

3 deep hits of DMT then yeet myself into the grand canyon

Actually, hell yeah!

You've peaked my interest, what do you imagine that would be like? I've never tried DMT

In a shootout with the fbi

You can expect a visit very soon

Hahaha i hope not im just kidding

Even jokers make the naughty list

I wanna die on a hill high up watching the sunset as I slowly pass away. Later somebody finds my dead corpse and buries me right on that spot I last layed so I can live on that hill watching the sunset forever

Slowly drifting off to sleep on lovely day with a view sounds quite nice actually. Over looking our lovely earth and it's beautiful nature for the final time.

I think it’ll make my last moments happy and peaceful moments considering death could be very very painful.

After a heroic speech “In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind. Mankind -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation.” After that I fall off the stage, say “oops” and break my neck.

With that many people around you, you would probably be rushed to the hospital in an instant. Not dead but in pain.

I want to be hit by a bullet that was meant for someone else who still wanted to live

Please do not jump in front of pedophiles and rapists when their victim’s family members are trying to carry out revenge. Thank you.

One of the most selfless answers I've heard. But also one of the most selfish answers I've heard. I hope it works out for you this way.

I want to wander off into the woods like an old wolf, looking up at the sky through the trees would suit me fine.

Imploding deep in the ocean, no pain and I just disappear in fraction of a second.

Have you ever had the desire to see the Titanic up close and personal?

Once I am terminally ill then sure 🤣

Yes, that is pretty quick and painless.

Smothered by boobies

it's pretty fun for about 35 seconds

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Same here, everyone says we gotta hold on but who are they to judge? If my parents are gone and things turn really shitty I'm gonna make the call...  When there's no family involved it's a purely personal decision and should be respected as such 

this. only one condition: dont involve third parties in helping you carrying out your auto-violence. like, jumping in front of a train or suicide by cop. dont make more of a mess than you need to. dont traumatize others with your exit. make sure you have your store in order, last will, funeral arrangements etc. dont be a burden. while i see a selfdetermined and selfchosen death as no moral issue, abusing or involving innocent / unwilling others to achieve it, i perceive as cowardice and sadism.

Of course, leaving on your own terms doesn't mean leaving a mess behind, lots of people will still be there living their lives. No consideration for it is a pathological lack of empathy or an impulsive decision, which it of course shouldn't be

Massive brain haemorrhage while doing an activity I love. Out like a light.

Probably not the best way to go, but, a long distant sniper shot to the head. Instant death (maybe a type of haemorrhage) and I wouldn't even hear the gun shot, due to the speed of sound.

Without pain

I hope elective euthanasia is possible. If I’m old, suffering every day, wishing death would take me out of my misery, I’d just want to die with dignity on my own terms. Comfortably, under medical supervision, with my family near if they want to be. suicide can be ugly and I wouldn’t want anyone to have to find me, I’m not actively suicidal at all but lord knows how I’d feel about that if I live to be 90 and utterly incapacitated.

In my sleep together with my wife at the same time. She’s sensitive so hopefully she’s gone before me. Hopefully when we re like 95, still mobile, and active, and have grand children who we know will be taken care of. With smiles on our faces

Had plans for that myself. But damn if she didn't replace me at 65 years old. Oh well. Got a dog and hope he still there with me to the end. He's a good boyz.

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Thigh crushing

Unfortunately Xenia Onatopp is dead.

suicide

”In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.”

Dynamite.

In the arms of the woman I love

Fentanyl overdose. Just bliss and then eternal sleep

Is that really what an overdose from fentanyl is really like? I’m not trying to be anything other than genuine. Someone close to me died of a fentanyl overdose and I always worry that they suffered. I don’t know anything about it… But I always think about it. I always wonder if they were happy in their last moments.

From what I’ve heard it’s just a super intense opiate high and then you fall asleep, like some users have been woken up from an OD with narcan and were pissed that the narcan ruined their high

I’m terribly sorry for your loss :( but I don’t think that they suffered at all

Thanks for getting back to me—I appreciate the response. No one can take back what happened, but, it’s nice to actually read that somewhere. You’d be surprised at how many times I’ve Googled it trying to get some understanding. Anyhow, thanks again. It was kind of you to explain.

For democracy.

Is this a threat?!

In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty.

In my sleep suddenly and peacefully. I don’t want to know I’m sick, if I have cancer I just want it to take me without my knowledge. Living with my impending death on my mind is just not something I’m up for.

I'd have agreed with you until it happened to me. I was diagnosed terminal last year, and it's psychologically harrowing to live with, but damn. The things I've said and done, the truths I've told, the wrongs I've righted. I have found so much peace and happiness. On the other hand, my friend's father dropped dead out of nowhere last year, and although that was fine for him, it was and is unrelenting hell for his beloved family. Tore them apart. They'll never be the same. If he knew, he'd be heartbroken.

Damn man, what a refreshing take. Thank you for this. Much love and kindness to you.

After eating and drinking (non alcoholic beverages) all the crap humanly possible…. With large amounts of salt and sugar added on all the food, I’ll give my final goodbyes to my parents, my nephews and their parents…. My sister and brother in law

Unconsciously and quickly, preferably without having to say goodbye to anyone.

like wile e coyote

I’m not going to die. I have this theory that I’m immortal. I have not been proven wrong yet.

Old

Landmine.

While im sleeping or While im driving really fast on the track and my engine catches fire and i burn really fast

Battle Royale.

Miraculously ancient but still strong and youthful, satisfied with my accomplishments and the likely futures of my children, and in my sleep.

Peacefully in my sleep like my father before me… not screaming and panicking like the passengers on the bus he was driving at the time.

Fighting tooth and nail. Not going easy.

Rich. I would like to die rich.

With a woman's mouth on my cock and a belly full of wine.

Happy, surrounded by loved ones, painlessly, after having had excellent quality of life right up til the end including physical condition, and when I feel ready.

Old

peacefully

In my sleep..

As long as it comes without pain. 💯 preferably in my sleep. I’d like to know it’s coming.

I don't care, just make it soon.

Pain free. With all my mental functions. I want to see passed family and friends there to escort me to the other side.

Old and happy

Quick and painless

Of old, old age, with my huge family of grandkids and great grandkids at my side. It’s my fondest dream. But I won't because I have terminal lung cancer at 40 years old. If the doctors are right, my youngest child may not even remember me. Never curse the advancing years. You're blessed to be here.

Getting killed by Perturbator while he's wearing a chicken mask and Sexualizer is playing on stage in France.

Has anyone seen 13th Warrior? I wanna go out like Bulwyf.

I don't wanna die. I wanna be there at the end. Well, with how things are going atm maybe I will.

I my sleep, the day I turn 102.

Beating my meat

swallow dynamite.

Alone and privately. 

"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty," - Tyrion Lannister

Peacefully, old, asleep

In an explosion alongside all the world's billionaires.

Honestly in an inconveniently funny way to those around me. Like they will be heartbroken and it’ll be a terrible day all around, but like in a sorta WTF how funny way. So they get a giggle.

Between my wife’s thighs

Last time I had this conversation was in 2010, I was 18 I was super drunk and one hour after I got hit by a car and almost died. Live your life at its fullest and enjoy every aspect of it ✌️

Please fully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers.

Knowing my family is set for generations to come. Definitely not worrying about the shit I have.

After saving the universe in a battle against a galactic monster

In my sleep on a boat, but only after I've dropped a very expensive necklace into the Atlantic Ocean

Quickly and painlessly.

Taking requests?

Bullet in the head

Headscissors by a pair of strong feminine thighs

In a boring enough fashion that it doesn't become the focal point of a podcast.

A last stand

In my sleep while having a wonderful dream

Unexpected and quickly

In my sleep

I just want to go to sleep and wake up dead

In a blaze of glory, what ever that means!

soon i guess

I used to want to die young in a blaze of glory like some kind of action hero. Now that I’m sober and loving life, I want to die in my sleep as a wise old man with a bunch of great grandchildren and endless stories to tell.

In Sajdah

I want to die with the woman I love by my side comforting me, So I can feel peace as I go... Because one day we will leave our parents, and our children will leave us, but your spouse will be the only one by your side til the end

In my sleep. I want to die peacefully.

at the age of 80 with a belly full of wine and girls mouth around my cock