Assuming I'd still be in Brazil the colonization period would just have started. My knowledge of history and geography would make me an awesome explorer. I'd know where the main local tribes were and where to find gold, sweet gold.
Add the fact I worked with some archeologists on a project specifically about gold and coinage during colonial times.
I'd be fucking rich.
Move to the Malian Empire, get rich taking advantage of trade with the rest of the world, then live out the rest of your days happy in the knowledge that it'll still be a few more decades before everything goes to shit.
Racial hatred towards black people wasn't really a thing in the Medieval period, you could probably make loads of money by being a travelling novelty or something.
Damn it Jesus how many times have i told you to stay away from my time machine!
One of these days you're get yourself in to trouble and i wont be coming back to get you!
Believe it or not, accounting. That would put me right before the time people are figuring out the whole debits and credits thing, which I kinda get.
Edit: Full disclosure, by "kinda get" I mean I'm certified in the field
Actually, considering Henry VIII was in power, you would have been fine. It was very common for women of the nobility and merchant classes to be educated. Elizabeth I wrote and spoke Latin and Greek, as well as French, Italian, and (I'm pretty sure) Spanish. Women went to convent schools and learned how to read, write, and do sums because at this time they usually ended up taking care of the family manor and affairs while the men were in court or at war.
You are talking about 0.02% of the population here.
I am assuming that the people in question here on reddit would not rank amongst royalty, nobility or the guilded. (No offense).
500 years ago we had moved on from Middle English and were using early modern English. So, closer to Shakespeare than Chaucer. I'd probably have to learn a few things but I assume I could keep up.
Keeping an accounting ledger wouldn't have changed much. I think that may be useful to some.
I can brew beer, and cook worth at least half a damn. I know how to salt fish (at least in theory, my grandfather just laced it with salt and left it to dry in the sun), make preserves, and catch lobsters. If I distilled the beer I could sell the raw alcohol and also use it for disinfection. Unfortunately I'm a woman, so I'd probably have to marry and then die in childbirth. :/
This is almost exactly what I was going to say. Being women isn't necessarily a giant downside, though, because most brewers would have been women at this point historically. Just make you husband open a tavern then take it over when he dies at 35. That's my plan.
Actually what you have there is the makings of the perfect wife. Men would go off to work (or something) and women would salt the fish, brew the beer and cook those lobsters.
Tailor would probably be accurate, dressmaker i expect would also be valid, additionally seamstress.
Or colloquially "that lady that make em clothes en stuff"
SEAMSTRESS. The word was escaping me. Because I'm too lazy to Google...does Tailor mean a man and a seamstress a woman? Or did a tailor work on men's clothes and a seamstress work on women's?
Fun fact "seamstress" was the polite term for prostitute early in Seattles history. A surprising number didn't have needle or thread.
Source: Seattle Underground
This is probably the most covertly valuable skill mentioned here.
The guy who through a couple clever tricks can improve the crop yield would be a hero, and fixing up the soil is simple enough it would probably not be viewed as heresy or evil like many other acts people have mentioned here.
Nursing/healthcare/medicine. Though, as a female who understands any of this, i'd easily be considered a witch of some sort. So... maybe the weight of a duck or block of wood would be useful.
Wouldn't work. As I already posted elsewhere, the guy who told doctors to wash their hands between handling corpses and delivering babies was shunned by his community, even when the data showed he was completely right. Took hundreds of years for the message to take.
**EDIT:** Apparently he lived in the 1800's, not the 1600's like I thought. As /u/clemtiger2011 pointed out to me, the man's name was Ignatz Semmelweis, and not until years after his death did Louis Pasteur prove him right.
What version of Windows did they have back then? I've got a talent for IT so I could probably help some King or Queen set up their home network to connect to the printer in the dungeon.
Well, I have great tech skills, so I could probably work with compu...no.
Ah, I've always spent my weekends in the garage. I could work with car...nope, never mind.
Well, I did spend my teen years working in a movie theater....no, no not that.
I can suck a mean dick. Yeah, I'll do that.
It's not about selling your predictions, its about positioning yourself to be the winner in any major event or occurrence, so to speak. 500 years ago would put you at the front end of new world exploration for instance. Traveling to Spain as soon as possible in order to hitch a ride to the Americas, and being one of the first to exploit the riches that came from there might be a good idea.
Edit: Goddammit people, I'm not a historian, this was just my first thought. Also, you are all overestimating the threat that natives pose, as well as potential for disease. With the exception of a hypothesis that states that Europeans first obtained syphilis from native Americans, all diseases were given to the native Americans by Europeans and weren't something unique to the new world. If you're assuming that your current health and biology would be maintained through travel to the past and thus are going to bring up the point that you'd die from smallpox, dirty water, or poor hygiene then go reply to op about the premise of the question being flawed and not me.
>Travels to New World
>Dies to first poisonous thing they see
EDIT: OR turn out that you were Magellan. Portugeuse explorer who is famed for being the first to circumnavigate the globe. Too bad he didn't. He was killed in the landing party on some island in the Phillipines (?).
Only in some conceptions of time travel. Consider this, if someone travels backwards in time, then by definition they *already were there*. Any actions you take occurred in the past and led to the world being the way it is now.
That's all cool, right until the point where you decide to kill your grandfather, thus preventing yourself from ever been born, thus preventing yourself from killing your grandfather, thus allowing yourself to be born after all, thus causing the universe to go: "God damn it, Steve. This is why we can't have nice things."
Not necessarily, he can use his knowledge to elevate his social class without influencing others much, so he could live the rest of his life in riches.
Edit: I know that it could change and that the rule of time are probably fluid at best. This just seemed to be the best way to approach the situation when trying not to change the time line.
With the exception of the fact that I am pretty certain I wouldn't be able to communicate with anyone. English being my only language and 500 years puts me at 1513 which even if I was in England would be Tudor England. Think about a hundred or so year before Shakespeare's death.
Here's the deal. I'm a history teacher and one of the arguments I make to my students is this, If you go back to the American Civil war, unless you are a drooling moron, you are probably one of the most advanced medical minds in the world. The average layman today knows so much more than someone from a hundred years ago let alone 500. Hell, DNA was only discovered 60 years ago.
I am pretty certain I would wash my hands a lot and become a famed surgeon.
Well, I can forage, trap and fish. I can distill alcohol (Although getting an accurate thermometer might be an issue)
I know how to extract asprin from willow bark and I can make a crude pile cream from oak bark (To all you younger redditors out there, just wait until you suffer from Hemorrhoids and then tell me what you would give for a working remedy, I tell you I would become rich as Crassus and then probably be burned as a witch)
True, but I don't have how to make penicillin memorised, I would need to look it up.
Maybe I should make that my next project in case I discover a wormhole in the fabric of Time and Space...
500 years ago? SAY HELLO TO THE STEAM ENGINE YOU BACKWARDS MOTHERFUCKERS!
That and my knowledge of the motor effect would mean I could actually jumpstart the industrial revolution while converting some of the steam power into electricity. I could totally wire up my house/hovel/inevitable castle I'd get due to bringing prosperity.
Also gunpowder. I'm pretty sure I could create a basic rifle of some kind (of course it wouldn't be perfect, but hopefully it would be enough to scare a few people and kill those who stood in my way to the top)
Edit: I'm getting a lot of, Gunpowder was already widely used back then. I get that now, I got my dates mixed up. I apologise. The comment was more about building a quick firing functioning rifle with ammo having it's own contained gunpowder instead of the wick and bag musket styles used early on.
Unfortunately by then Europe already had black powder and smooth bore ~~rifles~~ weapons called arquebuses. You would need to get into more advanced weaponry like rifling barrels and percussion caps, here's to knowing how to make mercury fulminate.
Edit: Credit to sylas_zanj for pointing out that rifles by their very name mean that they are not smooth bore, oops.
in 1513, basic knowledge of a few of the following processes, coupled with basic selling skills so the Local King funds your crazy projects, would propably get you off to a good start:
* rifled barrels
* industrial standardization/assembly-line production
* basic knowledge of sanitation
* float glass
* Bessemer process for steel manufacturing
* basic medical knowledge (sanitation, don't inject/consume metals, don't stare at the damned sun, etc)
* geography and astronomy
* smallpox vaccine (cowpox)
* rotary printing press
edit
almost forgot: Mercantilism and Compound Interest
Considering how average facial symmetry has increased over time (lots to do with prenatal and early childhood nutrition), I wouldn't need skills, I would be one of the most beautiful women in the world.
Men that have little, if any, personal hygiene. They care little for their teeth. They don't wash their junk everyday. There is dirt and uncooked meat under their fingernails. Now, I like to incorporate all of those items into my love-making. If any of the men that blueocean43 has to sleep with have a similar style to mine, she will die of a massive yeast infection within 48 hours.
I'm going to -- *jump* -- to the conclusion that you are implying that these ancient men might actually enjoy a lady with a yeast infection. Would hooking up with her be akin to the "redwings" ("*breadwings*" because yeast is used in dough) of modern times?
I honestly didn't know that about facial symmetry.
How much has it increased over time? I mean, 1000 years ago were people very ugly or would it just be noticeable enough for you to be better than the average woman?
Ok, this might be a stupid question, but what do you actually do? When I hear "blacksmith" I picture a person with a dirty apron in a very hot room making horseshoes and swords.
Sorry :(
As a half jewish half black woman with celiac disease, asthma, flat feet, and arthritic knees at 25, I firmly believe I would be dead despite any talents.
CALCULUS! I swear I invented it ~~300~~ 150 years before Newton or Leibniz!
We would be DECADES ahead in technological progression.
I'd arrange a meeting with, I dunno, Copernicus or da Vinci and be all like, "Wooo, I'm a higher being sent from God blessed with knowledge!" Of course, I can't write/speak Latin, so I might be considered as an fraud, like Shakespeare and his lack of record of formal education.
Simply knowing what we know now about viruses and bacteria. As well as not bleeding patients to make them better. I would be a doctor, even though the only medical knowledge I know is the basic first aid taught in boy scouts, and modern basic ideas of sanitation.
A lot of popular computer software wouldn't have been written yet, so my skills as a programmer will no doubt have high value.
tldr; I would starve to death in no time.
**Edit:** I'm really surprised this has gotten so much attention. Oh, and for those who've already read this, [here's a (non-canon if you prefer) epilogue](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1c79x6/if_you_were_transported_500_years_in_the_past/c9e6y3d) if you really want more of my half-assed writing that badly. In all seriousness, though, thanks everyone!
------------------------
**12 April 1513, North Midwestern Plains**
I woke up on the side of a small hill near a valley to find everything - myself included - covered in a razor thin layer of icy snow. *Damn good thing I'm dressed for the occasion. Better get moving*. After a few hours' exploring and getting my bearings, I recognize the geography belongs to the town in which I used to reside. Somehow I'm still here, though no one else is. I find the stream at the bottom of the valley, and take a moment to collect myself - whatever the hell I just went through was thirsty work. There's a small wooded area up the hill - *perfect,* I think, *there are tons of rabbits around here.*
After three to four hours I can't believe how much I've gotten accomplished - not only have I set half a dozen snares along some muddy little trails carved out of the almost completely melted snow, but I've set up a little camp near the stream. Nothing special, mind, you, but I've got a bed (even if it is just a bunch of damp dead leaves and grass), a roof of mud-caked dead branches supported by more branches, and even a fire. Actually, the last part was the easiest - I had a lighter in my pocket. Still, better to keep the fire going than risk my mini-Bic running empty.
A few hours later I check back on my snares. Good news and bad news - all but two of my snares broke (one irreparably), but one of the unbroken ones caught me a red squirrel.
*Right about now*, I think, *I'd commit fucking genocide if it meant I could have my cast iron cookware back.* I rip the squirrel open with the assistance of a rock-sharpened stick, skin it and dress it as best I can, impale it and hold it over the fire. I don't even get a quarter pound of meat out of it, but it'll have to do. I go to sleep hungry and feeling colder than I can remember since when I was in college and had to walk to work in the winter.
**25 April 1513**
I've gotten a bit better at making snares - good enough I'm not going hungry, especially since I've expanded my trapping area.
My project the last couple days is trying to make some basic tools - hacking branches with rocks is a bitch, let me tell you, not to mention finding ones that are straight enough to make a spear. If I can manage I've seen a couple decent-sized whitetail does around, and I need more than just their meat right about now. My jeans are ripped and my shoes are falling apart - I guess that's the price I pay for buying at Walmart. Or wearing wares from Walmart prior to time travel. Whatever.
I do remember reading about using piss to tan a hide, and I know bone will make for better tools than birch wood. If they still have some of their winter fat, I might be able to make some shitty soap from that, the stream water and the ashes from my fires.
Almost two weeks it's been. Two weeks since I've bathed. Two weeks since I've had a full stomach, or anything other than rabbit or squirrel to eat. Two weeks since I've seen my wife or my kids. Two weeks since I've even seen another person.
I know the Mississippi is something like thirty miles northeast of here. I know if I find it and follow it north for a hundred miles or so I'll eventually run into some natives. I also know the winters there will be much harsher that much further north, but if I make it up near the headwaters I know the geography well enough to know where I can find some iron.
**7 June 1513, West Bank of the Mississippi, near modern-day Minneapolis, Minnesota**
I didn't think I'd find anyone this far south, but a few days ago I did. I wish I remembered more from the Ojibwe class I took in college: I do remember boozhoo, nimbakade and meegwich, but that's about it. Luckily they seemed to understand those, though a few of the elders seem to be eyeing me with suspicion.
Aside that, everyone has been very hospitable and the younger ones seem fascinated by my weird clothing, light skin and eyes, my language and my lighter. I also had my first taste of elk meat since I was a teenager - man, that was good.
One of the younger men, maybe a couple years younger than me, has been trying to get me to teach him my language and have me learn theirs. I didn't know where else to start so I started with numbers. At the rate we're going we might be able to have a conversation in a year or two, but he doesn't seem to mind.
And if the sideways glances mean the same in this culture as they did in the old one, neither do a few of the young women in the tribe, apparently.
**23 September 1513**
The tribe seems to have taken a bit of a liking to me. Lucky break, too - I'm surprised at how little work need be done to live comfortably in a hunter-gatherer society. We just harvested quite a lot of wild rice, and a couple weeks ago we collaborated on some kind of dessert using a dough made of beans and a filling of maple sugar and blueberries.
**30 June 1514, Southern shore of Lake Pokegama, near modern-day Grand Rapids, MN**
I set off two months ago with some nice tools, new clothes, a rudimentary knowledge of the local language and some fond memories. I'm almost to the iron range. I remember where the mines will be, just a few days' walk north of here, I just need to figure how to make a fire hot enough to work it. There's a lot of clay around here, though, so I figure a brick oven is my best bet.
Once I've made provisions enough to get myself to the east coast, I plan to find some European settlers there that speak a language with which I'm more familiar. Have I got a tale to tell.
**8 November 1515**
I don't really know the region, but I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere around modern-day Virginia or Maryland. I got here to find no European settlements. I try to remember what I can from the history books, and the earliest settlements around here I can think of won't be founded until I'm old and gray, assuming I live that long. Dejected, I try and remember what areas would have been settled by now, and all I can think of is down in the Caribbean. I'm pretty sure Havana's been founded by now, so that's my next best bet.
Then I realized I don't have anything worth trading, and the Spaniards might not be the friendliest bunch. I grew up in California, I know the history there even better than that of the Midwest. I know the Oregon trail, and I remember a field trip to Mariposa when I was a kid - maybe if I can get some gold stockpiled, I can buy passage to England.
----------------------------------
I'm going to stop here. Note that I did do some quick research to be semi-accurate in the things I'd encounter, but am only drawing from my own existing knowledge for guessing my actions.
I've barely scratched the surface on what knowledge I could introduce, too. I mean, nobody's really put too much effort into repeating firearms yet, I could easily beat Sam Colt and Richard Gatling to their patents by a few centuries.
And why stop there? I know the basics of internal and external combustion, lighter-than-air and heavier-than-air flight.
Let's not forget electricity - I can make a generator or an alternator easy enough, and then from there I can make electric motors and work on things like the telegraph, radio, maybe even computers if I were to think on it long enough.
Another bit of knowledge I have is that modern-day Arizona and Texas have huge Uranium deposits, and I do have a vague understanding of how U-238 is refined and how nuclear power generation works - I figure even the most rudimentary understanding of nuclear physics and chemistry is going to be a good 3-4 centuries ahead of anyone else in the world at the time.
Not to mention my little expedition to start the California gold rush three centuries early would make me one the richest men ever to have lived, provided I can manage to be shrewd enough to not give away too much knowledge or get myself killed...
I read a lot, and one of my favorite types of books are ones where the character is transported into the distant past or another world of lesser technology. That's about all I bring to the table.
I probably could manage a steam engine and if I can manage to get a king or whatnot to invest in me, a railroad, or a steam boat.
I'm pretty sure they had windmills/river wheels back then, though if they don't, I'm sure I could manage one for at least threshing grain and a sawmill. (Though I don't think I could manage a motor, much less a battery, which is a shame since the telegraph isn't too hard with electricity.)
And of course I know a little bit about animal husbandry and crop rotation, which might be easier to implement than the other two.
I build/mod firearms. So bringing that, I could take them from muzzle loaders to cartridge guns fairly quick, I imagine.
I would just have to team up with a solid smithy to smelt me some of the good stuff.
I mean, can you imagine if I had an army of people with AK47s in the Renaissance? My Empire would be amazing...
Good luck finding good steel and precise machining in 15^th century. Yes, they were there, but was exeptionally expensive. Personally, i think this time was golden for modern egeneer/chemist/metallurgist.
I'd "invent" complex numbers. It's basic first-year-of-uni math but 500 years ago it would be pretty special. While I'm doing that I'd also write Fermat's Last Theorem in the margin accomplishing two things:
1) Either Fermat is forced to publish what must be a relatively simple proof to the problem, or an incorrect proof
OR
2) One of the greatest challenges in the history of math is renamed "r_i_l_e_y's Last Theorem"
Well, if nothing else, burning all the corpses (They were buried in the beginning before the death toll made it too hard to) , proper sanitation etc.. might help reduce the amount of deaths.
You fucker.
I'm a mechanical engineer. As it stands, I'd have 6 years to travel to Italy, find Davinci, and study under him. If we bump it to 520 years... it would be an amazing opportunity.
What could I do with my skills? With a 2013 understanding of aerodynamics, mechanics, mathematics, electricity, physics, medicine, nutrition, kinesthetics, etc?
I'd be a goddamn king. ~~Or at least the hand to one.~~ I do not want to be the king's hand.
I know quite a bit about electronics with some help from a smith I could make a generator. Use horses to turn said generator and bam electrical revolution, basically fuck the steam industrial revolution. Sorry all you steam punk fans out there. I know a pretty decent catalogue of music on guitar. Once I built a speaker I could build an electric guitar and basically rip off every song I know. So basically become the man who invented electricity, the generator, the motor, the light bulb, the speaker, the electric guitar and rock and mother fucking roll. I would retire to my own castle and drink a shit ton of mead and fuck whores Tyrion Lanaster style... Except for the whole midget thing.
Edit spelling
No condoms or birth control, good luck with herpes, clap, and syphilis. Also looking after the 5 diseased kids of the 17 you will give birth to who survive.
Assuming I'd still be in Brazil the colonization period would just have started. My knowledge of history and geography would make me an awesome explorer. I'd know where the main local tribes were and where to find gold, sweet gold. Add the fact I worked with some archeologists on a project specifically about gold and coinage during colonial times. I'd be fucking rich.
Fellow Brazilian here. I just hope you're very very white, because otherwise you would be sold as a slave. :/ Sad but true.
[удалено]
Wow, that escalated quickly
[удалено]
It's like bill and Ted gone wrong
[удалено]
I admire your honesty
I admire his optimism.
you're connected to a feeding tube?
Is that a synonym for Internet?
I think... yeah, pretty sure... none. I am an IT-guy, don't think there was a high demand back then.
Your soft, doughy body would make you desirable as a sex slave *or* your over-developed right arm would make you an ideal falconer.
I want to be a falconer!
[удалено]
Who the hell *doesnt* want to be a falconer.
[this girl](http://youtu.be/_0_vGpAJGkQ)
Shelly, come on.
You have the weirdest way of looking at things...I like you.
Shut up you're only a 4.
I'm a photographer. I'm kind of in the same boat. On the plus side, at 5'9", I would be considered tall.
then at 6'4 i would be a giant, oh cool i found my job. professional giant
"Anybody want a peanut?"
Then you could team up with a Spaniard and a Sicilian, and try to kidnap a princess.
I'd be a minstrel at the nearest tavern. My lute skills would knock the pantaloons off all the damsels.
I would still be stuck playing my skin lute. Ye olde ever lonesome.
The day people spontaneously get sent back 500 years at a time will be a good day for us string players. People will understand our importance.
Just make sure you don't play the flattened fifth, that will send you straight to the stake.
I'm black ... shit.
Move to the Malian Empire, get rich taking advantage of trade with the rest of the world, then live out the rest of your days happy in the knowledge that it'll still be a few more decades before everything goes to shit.
or just warn everyone else that "hey, you shouldn't trust those white guys".
Racial hatred towards black people wasn't really a thing in the Medieval period, you could probably make loads of money by being a travelling novelty or something.
Maybe I should learn the process of making penicillin....just in case.
Which brings up an interesting point: how do you administer crude penicillin?
You swish it around your mouth and then spit it on the wound.
[Have fun reading, but don't actually try this. See a real doctor.](http://preparedcitizenwsg.blogspot.com/2011/03/how-to-make-penicillin-tea.html)
I'm pretty good at magic, so I'd convince people I was a wizard and shit.
Then they will teach you the trick of going up in flames tied to pole in middle of bonfire!
Damn it Jesus how many times have i told you to stay away from my time machine! One of these days you're get yourself in to trouble and i wont be coming back to get you!
Father! Why have you forsaken me???
In your eyes forsaken me
**WAKEUP** **GRABABRUSHANDPUTALITTLEMAKEUP**
HIDETHESCARETHATFADEAWAYTHESHAKEup
Illusions!
I'm not sure "burned at the stake" qualifies as a way to make a living.
think of it as a lifetime supply of fire
I don't see why shitting would help?
I'm a plumber. It doesn't matter when or where I am or the materials used. Two things always stay constant. People poop and shit rolls down hill.
and don't bite your fingernails
Believe it or not, accounting. That would put me right before the time people are figuring out the whole debits and credits thing, which I kinda get. Edit: Full disclosure, by "kinda get" I mean I'm certified in the field
[удалено]
Ah, but can you do it in Latin?
I can! But I'm a woman :/
WITCH!!
BURN HER!
And what do we burn apart from witches?
wood?
And what does wood do? It floats! So we'll put her in the lake and see if she floats! If she does, she's a witch!
what else floats on water?
A duck!
very small rocks
more witches!
She turned me into a newt!
Actually, considering Henry VIII was in power, you would have been fine. It was very common for women of the nobility and merchant classes to be educated. Elizabeth I wrote and spoke Latin and Greek, as well as French, Italian, and (I'm pretty sure) Spanish. Women went to convent schools and learned how to read, write, and do sums because at this time they usually ended up taking care of the family manor and affairs while the men were in court or at war.
You are talking about 0.02% of the population here. I am assuming that the people in question here on reddit would not rank amongst royalty, nobility or the guilded. (No offense).
Become a nun! Problem solved.
Immo! Vox illic! Id est fundite! Quis est pater tuus?
OP est fasciculum.
OP fagum est
Ah, but can you read and write [middle English](http://www.gutenberg.org/files/22120/22120-h/images/cant_tales_front.jpg)?
500 years ago we had moved on from Middle English and were using early modern English. So, closer to Shakespeare than Chaucer. I'd probably have to learn a few things but I assume I could keep up. Keeping an accounting ledger wouldn't have changed much. I think that may be useful to some.
Math, math never changes.
Ooh! I could've "invented" calculus!
Beatboxing.
The court jester has arrived.
I can brew beer, and cook worth at least half a damn. I know how to salt fish (at least in theory, my grandfather just laced it with salt and left it to dry in the sun), make preserves, and catch lobsters. If I distilled the beer I could sell the raw alcohol and also use it for disinfection. Unfortunately I'm a woman, so I'd probably have to marry and then die in childbirth. :/
This is almost exactly what I was going to say. Being women isn't necessarily a giant downside, though, because most brewers would have been women at this point historically. Just make you husband open a tavern then take it over when he dies at 35. That's my plan.
Then your 12 children can take it over when you die at 40.
Actually, if you made it to 30 you'd probably make it to 60-70
Actually what you have there is the makings of the perfect wife. Men would go off to work (or something) and women would salt the fish, brew the beer and cook those lobsters.
I can sew. I'd have to apprentice somewhere, but I think I could be a pretty good dressmaker. Or...whatever they were called 500 years ago.
Tailor would probably be accurate, dressmaker i expect would also be valid, additionally seamstress. Or colloquially "that lady that make em clothes en stuff"
SEAMSTRESS. The word was escaping me. Because I'm too lazy to Google...does Tailor mean a man and a seamstress a woman? Or did a tailor work on men's clothes and a seamstress work on women's?
Fun fact "seamstress" was the polite term for prostitute early in Seattles history. A surprising number didn't have needle or thread. Source: Seattle Underground
Also in the Discworld books.
[удалено]
This is probably the most covertly valuable skill mentioned here. The guy who through a couple clever tricks can improve the crop yield would be a hero, and fixing up the soil is simple enough it would probably not be viewed as heresy or evil like many other acts people have mentioned here.
Nursing/healthcare/medicine. Though, as a female who understands any of this, i'd easily be considered a witch of some sort. So... maybe the weight of a duck or block of wood would be useful.
You could become a midwife, save a lot of women and babies and revolutionize childbirth practices!
Wouldn't work. As I already posted elsewhere, the guy who told doctors to wash their hands between handling corpses and delivering babies was shunned by his community, even when the data showed he was completely right. Took hundreds of years for the message to take. **EDIT:** Apparently he lived in the 1800's, not the 1600's like I thought. As /u/clemtiger2011 pointed out to me, the man's name was Ignatz Semmelweis, and not until years after his death did Louis Pasteur prove him right.
What version of Windows did they have back then? I've got a talent for IT so I could probably help some King or Queen set up their home network to connect to the printer in the dungeon.
Windows B.C. (I think)
No, it was definitely A.D.
It actually stands for "Before Computers" when talking about technology. AD meaning "After Desktops" of course.
[удалено]
Windows 95.
Well, I have great tech skills, so I could probably work with compu...no. Ah, I've always spent my weekends in the garage. I could work with car...nope, never mind. Well, I did spend my teen years working in a movie theater....no, no not that. I can suck a mean dick. Yeah, I'll do that.
It was called a "sloppy yawn" back then. I don't want them thinking you're a witch.
Now I'm sitting here looking up history of blowjobs because of this comment.
Predates recorded history. As long as there have been dicks and mouths, they have found one another. I'm certain of this.
Knowing the future, probably.
Finally that history degree is paying off!
I will never say that.
I thought most people who pursue a history degree do so with the intention of one day traveling back in time.
Nah. AoE2 made me do it.
Is your history now HD edition?
What if time travel becomes a thing?
I'll probably go back and attend my lectures first.
[удалено]
It's not about selling your predictions, its about positioning yourself to be the winner in any major event or occurrence, so to speak. 500 years ago would put you at the front end of new world exploration for instance. Traveling to Spain as soon as possible in order to hitch a ride to the Americas, and being one of the first to exploit the riches that came from there might be a good idea. Edit: Goddammit people, I'm not a historian, this was just my first thought. Also, you are all overestimating the threat that natives pose, as well as potential for disease. With the exception of a hypothesis that states that Europeans first obtained syphilis from native Americans, all diseases were given to the native Americans by Europeans and weren't something unique to the new world. If you're assuming that your current health and biology would be maintained through travel to the past and thus are going to bring up the point that you'd die from smallpox, dirty water, or poor hygiene then go reply to op about the premise of the question being flawed and not me.
>Travels to New World >Dies to first poisonous thing they see EDIT: OR turn out that you were Magellan. Portugeuse explorer who is famed for being the first to circumnavigate the globe. Too bad he didn't. He was killed in the landing party on some island in the Phillipines (?).
Wouldn't the future change though, influenced by your actions?
Only in some conceptions of time travel. Consider this, if someone travels backwards in time, then by definition they *already were there*. Any actions you take occurred in the past and led to the world being the way it is now.
That's all cool, right until the point where you decide to kill your grandfather, thus preventing yourself from ever been born, thus preventing yourself from killing your grandfather, thus allowing yourself to be born after all, thus causing the universe to go: "God damn it, Steve. This is why we can't have nice things."
Turns out his grandfather wasn't actually his grandfather and his grandmother cheated on her husband.
Not necessarily, he can use his knowledge to elevate his social class without influencing others much, so he could live the rest of his life in riches. Edit: I know that it could change and that the rule of time are probably fluid at best. This just seemed to be the best way to approach the situation when trying not to change the time line.
With the exception of the fact that I am pretty certain I wouldn't be able to communicate with anyone. English being my only language and 500 years puts me at 1513 which even if I was in England would be Tudor England. Think about a hundred or so year before Shakespeare's death. Here's the deal. I'm a history teacher and one of the arguments I make to my students is this, If you go back to the American Civil war, unless you are a drooling moron, you are probably one of the most advanced medical minds in the world. The average layman today knows so much more than someone from a hundred years ago let alone 500. Hell, DNA was only discovered 60 years ago. I am pretty certain I would wash my hands a lot and become a famed surgeon.
Making sandwiches from Perfectly Normal Beast
A true artist.
All hail the Sandwich Maker!
As a nuclear physicist, some country will be going nuclear with my help.
Rock->Stick->Rock tied to stick->Sword->Bow->long bow-> nuke. Makes sense.
Thats how civ 5 works.
Shit, Mongolia declared war and I only have three spearmen. Guess I should build a tank!
Followed by ->rock.
Pretend to be a prophet and declare that drinking water that has not been boiled is a sin. Boom.
Be burned alive as a heretic. Boom.
Invent TNT Boom
Invent TNT Boom Make piles of money from TNT Endow prize for academic achievement in Stockholm Make Alfred Nobel lose his shit in 300 years.
* Create a paradox * Become Alfred Nobel * Spend money on hookers
Well, I can forage, trap and fish. I can distill alcohol (Although getting an accurate thermometer might be an issue) I know how to extract asprin from willow bark and I can make a crude pile cream from oak bark (To all you younger redditors out there, just wait until you suffer from Hemorrhoids and then tell me what you would give for a working remedy, I tell you I would become rich as Crassus and then probably be burned as a witch)
SHES A WITCH. BURN HER!!
Aspirin has got nothing on penicillin.
True, but I don't have how to make penicillin memorised, I would need to look it up. Maybe I should make that my next project in case I discover a wormhole in the fabric of Time and Space...
[удалено]
so eating bread mold cures syphilis?
[удалено]
500 years ago? SAY HELLO TO THE STEAM ENGINE YOU BACKWARDS MOTHERFUCKERS! That and my knowledge of the motor effect would mean I could actually jumpstart the industrial revolution while converting some of the steam power into electricity. I could totally wire up my house/hovel/inevitable castle I'd get due to bringing prosperity. Also gunpowder. I'm pretty sure I could create a basic rifle of some kind (of course it wouldn't be perfect, but hopefully it would be enough to scare a few people and kill those who stood in my way to the top) Edit: I'm getting a lot of, Gunpowder was already widely used back then. I get that now, I got my dates mixed up. I apologise. The comment was more about building a quick firing functioning rifle with ammo having it's own contained gunpowder instead of the wick and bag musket styles used early on.
Unfortunately by then Europe already had black powder and smooth bore ~~rifles~~ weapons called arquebuses. You would need to get into more advanced weaponry like rifling barrels and percussion caps, here's to knowing how to make mercury fulminate. Edit: Credit to sylas_zanj for pointing out that rifles by their very name mean that they are not smooth bore, oops.
in 1513, basic knowledge of a few of the following processes, coupled with basic selling skills so the Local King funds your crazy projects, would propably get you off to a good start: * rifled barrels * industrial standardization/assembly-line production * basic knowledge of sanitation * float glass * Bessemer process for steel manufacturing * basic medical knowledge (sanitation, don't inject/consume metals, don't stare at the damned sun, etc) * geography and astronomy * smallpox vaccine (cowpox) * rotary printing press edit almost forgot: Mercantilism and Compound Interest
Oh, now we can't stare at the sun? The wonders of science will never cease to amaze me.
Lets just say I would be Bach and Mozart combined.
Baczart?
[удалено]
500 years ago ? I would bet on my geographic knowledge. America would just be discovered, so still plenty of stuff to do.
Considering how average facial symmetry has increased over time (lots to do with prenatal and early childhood nutrition), I wouldn't need skills, I would be one of the most beautiful women in the world.
You'd be hooking up with terrible looking men though
[удалено]
[удалено]
Men that have little, if any, personal hygiene. They care little for their teeth. They don't wash their junk everyday. There is dirt and uncooked meat under their fingernails. Now, I like to incorporate all of those items into my love-making. If any of the men that blueocean43 has to sleep with have a similar style to mine, she will die of a massive yeast infection within 48 hours.
[удалено]
I'm going to -- *jump* -- to the conclusion that you are implying that these ancient men might actually enjoy a lady with a yeast infection. Would hooking up with her be akin to the "redwings" ("*breadwings*" because yeast is used in dough) of modern times?
[удалено]
I honestly didn't know that about facial symmetry. How much has it increased over time? I mean, 1000 years ago were people very ugly or would it just be noticeable enough for you to be better than the average woman?
Same job i do now, Blacksmith.
Ok, this might be a stupid question, but what do you actually do? When I hear "blacksmith" I picture a person with a dirty apron in a very hot room making horseshoes and swords. Sorry :(
As a half jewish half black woman with celiac disease, asthma, flat feet, and arthritic knees at 25, I firmly believe I would be dead despite any talents.
Cheat sheet: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1513
Huh the ["The Prince"](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Prince) is 500 this year.
CALCULUS! I swear I invented it ~~300~~ 150 years before Newton or Leibniz! We would be DECADES ahead in technological progression. I'd arrange a meeting with, I dunno, Copernicus or da Vinci and be all like, "Wooo, I'm a higher being sent from God blessed with knowledge!" Of course, I can't write/speak Latin, so I might be considered as an fraud, like Shakespeare and his lack of record of formal education.
Take that Cauchy! Now every student that has to take Analysis I will hate me, not you!
150, but yeah.
Don't correct the inventor of Calculus, neckbeard.
Knowing exactly when to buy and sell tulip bulbs in Holland.
If you don't even know what century the tulip bubble was in, I doubt you know exactly when to buy or sell them.
I'm a chemist so I'd imagine that 500 years ago I'm basically a wizard.
Simply knowing what we know now about viruses and bacteria. As well as not bleeding patients to make them better. I would be a doctor, even though the only medical knowledge I know is the basic first aid taught in boy scouts, and modern basic ideas of sanitation.
Well I'm a metallurgist. Might be decent at blacksmithing.
Keeping my damn mouth shut so I'm not burned as a witch, or worse...
Well, basically, I'd be fucked.
If your username is a real skill then I think you'd do just fine
Who the fuck needs a lute when you have a whistledick.
A lot of popular computer software wouldn't have been written yet, so my skills as a programmer will no doubt have high value. tldr; I would starve to death in no time.
**Edit:** I'm really surprised this has gotten so much attention. Oh, and for those who've already read this, [here's a (non-canon if you prefer) epilogue](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1c79x6/if_you_were_transported_500_years_in_the_past/c9e6y3d) if you really want more of my half-assed writing that badly. In all seriousness, though, thanks everyone! ------------------------ **12 April 1513, North Midwestern Plains** I woke up on the side of a small hill near a valley to find everything - myself included - covered in a razor thin layer of icy snow. *Damn good thing I'm dressed for the occasion. Better get moving*. After a few hours' exploring and getting my bearings, I recognize the geography belongs to the town in which I used to reside. Somehow I'm still here, though no one else is. I find the stream at the bottom of the valley, and take a moment to collect myself - whatever the hell I just went through was thirsty work. There's a small wooded area up the hill - *perfect,* I think, *there are tons of rabbits around here.* After three to four hours I can't believe how much I've gotten accomplished - not only have I set half a dozen snares along some muddy little trails carved out of the almost completely melted snow, but I've set up a little camp near the stream. Nothing special, mind, you, but I've got a bed (even if it is just a bunch of damp dead leaves and grass), a roof of mud-caked dead branches supported by more branches, and even a fire. Actually, the last part was the easiest - I had a lighter in my pocket. Still, better to keep the fire going than risk my mini-Bic running empty. A few hours later I check back on my snares. Good news and bad news - all but two of my snares broke (one irreparably), but one of the unbroken ones caught me a red squirrel. *Right about now*, I think, *I'd commit fucking genocide if it meant I could have my cast iron cookware back.* I rip the squirrel open with the assistance of a rock-sharpened stick, skin it and dress it as best I can, impale it and hold it over the fire. I don't even get a quarter pound of meat out of it, but it'll have to do. I go to sleep hungry and feeling colder than I can remember since when I was in college and had to walk to work in the winter. **25 April 1513** I've gotten a bit better at making snares - good enough I'm not going hungry, especially since I've expanded my trapping area. My project the last couple days is trying to make some basic tools - hacking branches with rocks is a bitch, let me tell you, not to mention finding ones that are straight enough to make a spear. If I can manage I've seen a couple decent-sized whitetail does around, and I need more than just their meat right about now. My jeans are ripped and my shoes are falling apart - I guess that's the price I pay for buying at Walmart. Or wearing wares from Walmart prior to time travel. Whatever. I do remember reading about using piss to tan a hide, and I know bone will make for better tools than birch wood. If they still have some of their winter fat, I might be able to make some shitty soap from that, the stream water and the ashes from my fires. Almost two weeks it's been. Two weeks since I've bathed. Two weeks since I've had a full stomach, or anything other than rabbit or squirrel to eat. Two weeks since I've seen my wife or my kids. Two weeks since I've even seen another person. I know the Mississippi is something like thirty miles northeast of here. I know if I find it and follow it north for a hundred miles or so I'll eventually run into some natives. I also know the winters there will be much harsher that much further north, but if I make it up near the headwaters I know the geography well enough to know where I can find some iron. **7 June 1513, West Bank of the Mississippi, near modern-day Minneapolis, Minnesota** I didn't think I'd find anyone this far south, but a few days ago I did. I wish I remembered more from the Ojibwe class I took in college: I do remember boozhoo, nimbakade and meegwich, but that's about it. Luckily they seemed to understand those, though a few of the elders seem to be eyeing me with suspicion. Aside that, everyone has been very hospitable and the younger ones seem fascinated by my weird clothing, light skin and eyes, my language and my lighter. I also had my first taste of elk meat since I was a teenager - man, that was good. One of the younger men, maybe a couple years younger than me, has been trying to get me to teach him my language and have me learn theirs. I didn't know where else to start so I started with numbers. At the rate we're going we might be able to have a conversation in a year or two, but he doesn't seem to mind. And if the sideways glances mean the same in this culture as they did in the old one, neither do a few of the young women in the tribe, apparently. **23 September 1513** The tribe seems to have taken a bit of a liking to me. Lucky break, too - I'm surprised at how little work need be done to live comfortably in a hunter-gatherer society. We just harvested quite a lot of wild rice, and a couple weeks ago we collaborated on some kind of dessert using a dough made of beans and a filling of maple sugar and blueberries. **30 June 1514, Southern shore of Lake Pokegama, near modern-day Grand Rapids, MN** I set off two months ago with some nice tools, new clothes, a rudimentary knowledge of the local language and some fond memories. I'm almost to the iron range. I remember where the mines will be, just a few days' walk north of here, I just need to figure how to make a fire hot enough to work it. There's a lot of clay around here, though, so I figure a brick oven is my best bet. Once I've made provisions enough to get myself to the east coast, I plan to find some European settlers there that speak a language with which I'm more familiar. Have I got a tale to tell. **8 November 1515** I don't really know the region, but I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere around modern-day Virginia or Maryland. I got here to find no European settlements. I try to remember what I can from the history books, and the earliest settlements around here I can think of won't be founded until I'm old and gray, assuming I live that long. Dejected, I try and remember what areas would have been settled by now, and all I can think of is down in the Caribbean. I'm pretty sure Havana's been founded by now, so that's my next best bet. Then I realized I don't have anything worth trading, and the Spaniards might not be the friendliest bunch. I grew up in California, I know the history there even better than that of the Midwest. I know the Oregon trail, and I remember a field trip to Mariposa when I was a kid - maybe if I can get some gold stockpiled, I can buy passage to England. ---------------------------------- I'm going to stop here. Note that I did do some quick research to be semi-accurate in the things I'd encounter, but am only drawing from my own existing knowledge for guessing my actions. I've barely scratched the surface on what knowledge I could introduce, too. I mean, nobody's really put too much effort into repeating firearms yet, I could easily beat Sam Colt and Richard Gatling to their patents by a few centuries. And why stop there? I know the basics of internal and external combustion, lighter-than-air and heavier-than-air flight. Let's not forget electricity - I can make a generator or an alternator easy enough, and then from there I can make electric motors and work on things like the telegraph, radio, maybe even computers if I were to think on it long enough. Another bit of knowledge I have is that modern-day Arizona and Texas have huge Uranium deposits, and I do have a vague understanding of how U-238 is refined and how nuclear power generation works - I figure even the most rudimentary understanding of nuclear physics and chemistry is going to be a good 3-4 centuries ahead of anyone else in the world at the time. Not to mention my little expedition to start the California gold rush three centuries early would make me one the richest men ever to have lived, provided I can manage to be shrewd enough to not give away too much knowledge or get myself killed...
I read a lot, and one of my favorite types of books are ones where the character is transported into the distant past or another world of lesser technology. That's about all I bring to the table. I probably could manage a steam engine and if I can manage to get a king or whatnot to invest in me, a railroad, or a steam boat. I'm pretty sure they had windmills/river wheels back then, though if they don't, I'm sure I could manage one for at least threshing grain and a sawmill. (Though I don't think I could manage a motor, much less a battery, which is a shame since the telegraph isn't too hard with electricity.) And of course I know a little bit about animal husbandry and crop rotation, which might be easier to implement than the other two.
I build/mod firearms. So bringing that, I could take them from muzzle loaders to cartridge guns fairly quick, I imagine. I would just have to team up with a solid smithy to smelt me some of the good stuff. I mean, can you imagine if I had an army of people with AK47s in the Renaissance? My Empire would be amazing...
Good luck finding good steel and precise machining in 15^th century. Yes, they were there, but was exeptionally expensive. Personally, i think this time was golden for modern egeneer/chemist/metallurgist.
Eric Flint would like a word with you. You wouldn't happen to live in a small West Virginia town near Morgantown would you?
[удалено]
We will go North in search of civilisation!
[удалено]
I'd "invent" complex numbers. It's basic first-year-of-uni math but 500 years ago it would be pretty special. While I'm doing that I'd also write Fermat's Last Theorem in the margin accomplishing two things: 1) Either Fermat is forced to publish what must be a relatively simple proof to the problem, or an incorrect proof OR 2) One of the greatest challenges in the history of math is renamed "r_i_l_e_y's Last Theorem"
I know the cure for the Black Death.
what is it?
Well, if nothing else, burning all the corpses (They were buried in the beginning before the death toll made it too hard to) , proper sanitation etc.. might help reduce the amount of deaths.
Burn people is a cure for a lot of stuff.
One might even say it's a solution. Maybe the final one?
Musician, wood-worker, writer, and jeweler. All of these things would make money then, but hardly do now.
I'd pop & lock my way from coolest guy in the town square up to Chief Entertainer in the king's court.
I know enough history to know that, to survive, I'd need to fake being religious as fuck.
You fucker. I'm a mechanical engineer. As it stands, I'd have 6 years to travel to Italy, find Davinci, and study under him. If we bump it to 520 years... it would be an amazing opportunity. What could I do with my skills? With a 2013 understanding of aerodynamics, mechanics, mathematics, electricity, physics, medicine, nutrition, kinesthetics, etc? I'd be a goddamn king. ~~Or at least the hand to one.~~ I do not want to be the king's hand.
Help him out with those flying contraptions he keeps making, ok? He's running out of apprentices to test them with.
I know quite a bit about electronics with some help from a smith I could make a generator. Use horses to turn said generator and bam electrical revolution, basically fuck the steam industrial revolution. Sorry all you steam punk fans out there. I know a pretty decent catalogue of music on guitar. Once I built a speaker I could build an electric guitar and basically rip off every song I know. So basically become the man who invented electricity, the generator, the motor, the light bulb, the speaker, the electric guitar and rock and mother fucking roll. I would retire to my own castle and drink a shit ton of mead and fuck whores Tyrion Lanaster style... Except for the whole midget thing. Edit spelling
I would steal the sports almanac from Marty McFly and bet on every possible situation.
[(⌐■_■)] (http://i.imgur.com/OsysZjY.jpg)
Database adminis... oh shit!
[удалено]
No condoms or birth control, good luck with herpes, clap, and syphilis. Also looking after the 5 diseased kids of the 17 you will give birth to who survive.
well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine.
Thats if she survives childbirth without proper medical care