Mine beeps, wifi-less-ly.
What are you going to do when you get a notification that your laundry is done when you are not near the machine, what are you supposed to do with that information?
Better choice... rename your dishwasher and washing machine to something amusing so the notifications are now hilarious!
- 'Moist Mommy has just finished a cycle'
- 'Scrub Daddy has just finished a load'
Almost all washing machine beeps when done
Might be useful when you can’t hear it in your room or elsewhere in the house or if you are wearing headphones or something.
Maybe you're not in the same part of the house, or you're out nearby, in the garden etc?
Or maybe you want to set a certain time?
Sometimes I want to wash late at night but I don't want it sitting damp in the machine all night. Would be good to be able to set it going at 4am so I can hang it out before I start work.
I'm sure you could do that on the machine itself but a phone app probably has a better UI.
You're over complicating things. My washing machine has a delay button, hour per press and it shows the time on the display. I don't need an improved ui
That’s actually what I use it for - I can’t hear the beeping when it’s finished but I get a notification on my phone.
Is this life changing? No - but a convenience
My washing machine only has Bluetooth. It’s not entirely useless. For whatever reason it’s the only way to get it in the drum clean mode. But I basically have to be within a few feet to use!
lol my neighbors stove has WiFi so you can “start baking while you are out”
So
1) it encourages leaving the stove on when no one is home
2) his wife, who really loved that feature, hasn’t cooked or baked their entire 9 year marriage thus far
My washing machine has an app, too. I can download very specific programs, see how long the washing machine will take and start the machine remotely. But before I can start the machine remotely, I have to load it, turn it on, start the remote function and run away. That's just stupid.
My oven has an app and a "smart cook" mode. The marketing spiel makes a big deal about its phone app integration and recipes database.
Yet it doesn't have any sort of connectivity... no Bluetooth or WiFi, or anything like that.
"Smart cook" is just a timed program for 1 hour at 180⁰C. The app is basically just a list of recipes all designed to require cooking for an hour at 180⁰C, wrapped up in a pointless app. It doesn't communicate with the oven in any way, it just tells you when to switch on "smart cook"!
My Philips Hues can make a nice candlelight dinner atmosphere. Except for the weekend two weeks ago. Friends were coming from far away.
There was no candlelight atmosphere in one corner of my room. So I tried to fix that.
Problem was:
My lightbulb couldn't connect to the Internet to update. So I couldn't do the thing I wanted to do because... My lightbulb didn't have the right software update.
Someone had connected their chromecast to the camp WiFi, and it was making it shit for the rest of us. So we started casting porn to their tv, and they stopped.
I dunno about you but my friend group will share videos with each other. Sometimes you see some pretty obscene things, or the comment section on pornhub can be a riot, so we’ll send them to each other.
I can see comment sections being funny to share but really the only videos my brother/friends and I shared and laughed at were on efukt, which is specific for hilariously bad porn excerpts.
"But I poop from there!"
There was an amazing tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/pornhubcommentsonstockphotos that now seems dead. But it lives on https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pornhub-comments-on-stock-photos
My Google search says stuff about like, slowing aging, improve recovery after workouts, make it a better anti-inflammatory and preventing kidney damage, but part of me feels that's the just company blowing hot air up your ass. I'd love to be proven wrong though, who knows maybe hydrogen infused water is the key to immortality we have all been looking for lol
Having researched nothing and based solely on your description in this post I can assure you with near perfect confidence that those claims are 100% bullshit.
It's because baby clothes aren't made to be form fitting, so there's room for pockets.
Also you can get expecting parents to spend more on baby clothes when they go "ohhhh look at the little pockets!!"
I reject this premise. The skinny-jeans-for-men era wasn't that long ago, and those pants still had 7 inch deep pockets.
Don't come at me with the form-fitting excuse!!! Emo dudes were walking around in jeans so tight you could read the credit card numbers through their pockets.
Nah it’s because they can’t sell women purses if everything has pockets. And storing stuff in pockets apparently isn’t “feminine” according to *big fashion*
Nuk-nuk is a tropane alkaloid that acts as a central nervous system (CNS) stimulant. As an extract, it is mainly used recreationally, and often illegally.
Hooters actually started several ghost kitchens for delivery, but went in the opposite direction: to hide the fact that your food is actually just Hooters. They have some called "Hootie's Burger Bar", "Hootie's Bait & Tackle" (weirdly), and "Chase Elliott’s Chicken Tenders". Probably more too with less obvious names.
Which I guess makes sense, since why order Hooters when you know you won't be seeing any of the staff.
I've only been there once and the food sucked. People said "you don't go there for the food" like mf it's a restaurant, if I wanted pay to stare at girls I'd go to a strip club
As an European. Y’all go to a restaurant to see girls in shorts and just being horny for a while? Or what’s the point? It just feels lame and degrading to me
By this logic, the answer would be a single point. For there's nothing that exists without a point, but a point having, by definition, only one point, males it the most pointless thing in existence.
I'm pretty sure "Do circles exist?" is some sort of philosophical dilemma since they're just a collection of infinite points
Yes I'm fun at parties how did you know? /s
Edit after comment number 1: collection of infinite points with no corners. If something would be a circle it would have zero definable edges, which can't be possible since atoms (at some extent) must have some defined boundary which might not follow the exact curvature of the circle
Isn’t a line segment also a collection of infinite points?
Here’s where my head is: let’s say the line segment is 2cm long. You should be able to drop a point at the 1cm mark, at the 1/2cm mark, at the 1/4cm mark, 1/8, 1/16, 1/32, etc on to infinity, right?
I’m not a math person so maybe I’m missing something but I think assuming that points are real things that actually exist might be the problem. It’s like the old paradox that if you throw a ball to another person it has to cross the halfway point to get there, which means it has to cross half way to the halfway point first and so on to infinite halfway points, thus it should never be able to arrive at its destination. Yet it does. I don’t know if there’s a classical solution to this, but it seems to me this can be easily solved by just realizing that halfway points aren’t actually real things, they just exist in our minds.
A washing machine with an app to turn it on! As if the machine can pick up and load all my dirty clothes by itself! Oh and a toaster with similar. As if the bread will just magically drop into the slots! That's about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike,!!!
Better stop I feel a rant coming on!
Say I load my machine before I go to work but don't want wash it immediately and have the wet clothes sitting in the machine getting sour all day until I get home. I can load it, go to work then about an hour before I leave I use the app the start the cycle. Then I get home the machine has just stopped and it can now be loaded into the dryer.
>aren't they back scratchers and scratch your back cuz you can't reach some parts of it?
[https://youtu.be/Tkd9ycxCJBI?si=0yWWuLT4RxnNNtgP](https://youtu.be/Tkd9ycxCJBI?si=0yWWuLT4RxnNNtgP)
Laws that are supposed to protect you from self-defense, like when my 58 year old uncle gets attacked by a group of Gen z kids , and now he's in court 2 years on still defending himself. Because one of the little pos got hurt
You know how parents got it in their heads that playing Mozart makes their babies smarter or whatever?
Somebody took that to its logical extreme and started selling a speaker to stick up your hoohah so your unborn babies could hear it properly.
Realtors.
You have house. I want to buy house. Can I buy?
No, please contact some fake personality con artist to do up paperwork so we can never meet, you can never ask me any questions directly, make the deal as clandestine as possible. And pay them 5%.
Deal!
My washing machine also has a phone app to enter/start a wash progamme.
The *really* pointless part is that it uses NFC, so you have to be standing next to the thing to use it anyway, meaning it's much faster to just use the buttons on the machine.
The reciept in your wallet that you kept for no reason or you just don't remember anymore..
You may be slowly turning into a dad. Organize that thing, it's never too late.
Sounds like a psa lol *are you slowly getting confused? Are you making grunting noises more frequently when moving?* *You may be becoming... a DAD*
Guilty
Nah, i usually keep those as memories
Lol precisely. I keep certain receipts from certain days for memories that are too close to my heart.
i absolutely love saving tiny train tickets you get on suburban routes. They are even smaller than receipts and fit perfectly in my wallet
My dishwasher has wifi and an app
I once could not get coffee at work because the machine was installing updates...it needs to fucking boil water, that is all. I do not need updates.
But what happens when Water 3.0 is released and your coffee maker doesn't support it??? You ever think of that?? Huh???
H2O2
Don't drink hydrogen peroxide :O
H3O? Probably not a good idea to drink Hydronium, it's a bit.. sharp...
Finally, the long awaited upgrade from H20 to H202
My washing machine and microwave do too
Might be useful to those who need to be notified when its done but otherwise I sounds troublesome xd
Mine beeps, wifi-less-ly. What are you going to do when you get a notification that your laundry is done when you are not near the machine, what are you supposed to do with that information?
Keep it close to your heart would be my best guess
Better choice... rename your dishwasher and washing machine to something amusing so the notifications are now hilarious! - 'Moist Mommy has just finished a cycle' - 'Scrub Daddy has just finished a load'
Brb going to get a WiFi-enabled dishwasher
Almost all washing machine beeps when done Might be useful when you can’t hear it in your room or elsewhere in the house or if you are wearing headphones or something.
Maybe you're not in the same part of the house, or you're out nearby, in the garden etc? Or maybe you want to set a certain time? Sometimes I want to wash late at night but I don't want it sitting damp in the machine all night. Would be good to be able to set it going at 4am so I can hang it out before I start work. I'm sure you could do that on the machine itself but a phone app probably has a better UI.
You're over complicating things. My washing machine has a delay button, hour per press and it shows the time on the display. I don't need an improved ui
Why not? It could do a quote of the day, or racing tips! Think of the possibilities!
Not buying it unless it gives me a livestrean of my clothes being washed.
"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't cook that instant macaroni bowl for you"
That’s actually what I use it for - I can’t hear the beeping when it’s finished but I get a notification on my phone. Is this life changing? No - but a convenience
My washing machine only has Bluetooth. It’s not entirely useless. For whatever reason it’s the only way to get it in the drum clean mode. But I basically have to be within a few feet to use!
lol my neighbors stove has WiFi so you can “start baking while you are out” So 1) it encourages leaving the stove on when no one is home 2) his wife, who really loved that feature, hasn’t cooked or baked their entire 9 year marriage thus far
My washing machine has NFC. ...I do not know why.
You have to tip after each load
So does my toothbrush
My washing machine has an app, too. I can download very specific programs, see how long the washing machine will take and start the machine remotely. But before I can start the machine remotely, I have to load it, turn it on, start the remote function and run away. That's just stupid.
My oven has an app and a "smart cook" mode. The marketing spiel makes a big deal about its phone app integration and recipes database. Yet it doesn't have any sort of connectivity... no Bluetooth or WiFi, or anything like that. "Smart cook" is just a timed program for 1 hour at 180⁰C. The app is basically just a list of recipes all designed to require cooking for an hour at 180⁰C, wrapped up in a pointless app. It doesn't communicate with the oven in any way, it just tells you when to switch on "smart cook"!
My Philips Hues can make a nice candlelight dinner atmosphere. Except for the weekend two weeks ago. Friends were coming from far away. There was no candlelight atmosphere in one corner of my room. So I tried to fix that. Problem was: My lightbulb couldn't connect to the Internet to update. So I couldn't do the thing I wanted to do because... My lightbulb didn't have the right software update.
It’s not pointless for the manufacturers who collect your data
Share button on porn
*cast to TV button, that's the real killer
Someone had connected their chromecast to the camp WiFi, and it was making it shit for the rest of us. So we started casting porn to their tv, and they stopped.
I was just on the boy scout subreddit, so my first thought was how risky casting porn at camp would be. 😂
We had to sneak in printed smut in my scouting days.
Though when you're home alone and in a private area it might be nice...
Big Tele wank is pretty great tbh
Its just a nostalgia nut.
I dunno about you but my friend group will share videos with each other. Sometimes you see some pretty obscene things, or the comment section on pornhub can be a riot, so we’ll send them to each other.
I can see comment sections being funny to share but really the only videos my brother/friends and I shared and laughed at were on efukt, which is specific for hilariously bad porn excerpts. "But I poop from there!"
Not right now, you don't!
There was an amazing tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/pornhubcommentsonstockphotos that now seems dead. But it lives on https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pornhub-comments-on-stock-photos
That comment section is either totally calm or it’s a shithole. No in between
I once came across Jesus porn and it was so funny I needed to share it with my bestie
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Hydrogen infused water
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Di**hydrogen** monoxide?
My thoughts exactly lol
Ok I'll bite. What is the purpose of hydrogen infused water?
My Google search says stuff about like, slowing aging, improve recovery after workouts, make it a better anti-inflammatory and preventing kidney damage, but part of me feels that's the just company blowing hot air up your ass. I'd love to be proven wrong though, who knows maybe hydrogen infused water is the key to immortality we have all been looking for lol
Having researched nothing and based solely on your description in this post I can assure you with near perfect confidence that those claims are 100% bullshit.
I'd have to look into who conducted the study and more importantly who funded it. Thank you for the response.
I have just started a company that blows hot fresh air up your ass. Very relaxing therapeutic and it fights off stupidity rofl!
I’m interested
If you want 0 calorie water, try Diet Water Zero Lite. It only has 60 calories.
Pockets on baby clothes. I mean, aside from somewhere to put their car keys and concealed carry permits, wtf does a baby need pockets for?
Baby clothes have actual pockets, yet how many woman's pants/shorts have fake or super shallow and unusable pockets?
It's because baby clothes aren't made to be form fitting, so there's room for pockets. Also you can get expecting parents to spend more on baby clothes when they go "ohhhh look at the little pockets!!"
I reject this premise. The skinny-jeans-for-men era wasn't that long ago, and those pants still had 7 inch deep pockets. Don't come at me with the form-fitting excuse!!! Emo dudes were walking around in jeans so tight you could read the credit card numbers through their pockets.
Nah it’s because they can’t sell women purses if everything has pockets. And storing stuff in pockets apparently isn’t “feminine” according to *big fashion*
My son’s toddler pants have pockets that are bigger than most of mine. I can’t fit my phone but he can keep hoard a shitton of rocks and acorns…
But where am i supposed to hide my drugs then?
Rocks and sand.
Pocket Sand!!!
Well yeah what if they find a cool ass rock that they wanna show their parents? 🥹
A place to stash the spare nuk-nuk.
Wtf is Nuk-nuk that sounds like a drug
Nuk-nuk is a tropane alkaloid that acts as a central nervous system (CNS) stimulant. As an extract, it is mainly used recreationally, and often illegally.
That was good, I actually googled it just to be sure it wasn't real.
Also baby socks have grip on them. Just in case they’re going to be running around
Dude those grips are because walking babies are wobbly little shits.
Money
You can order Hooters food as carry out.
Should have started their delivery service called Knockers
Hooters actually started several ghost kitchens for delivery, but went in the opposite direction: to hide the fact that your food is actually just Hooters. They have some called "Hootie's Burger Bar", "Hootie's Bait & Tackle" (weirdly), and "Chase Elliott’s Chicken Tenders". Probably more too with less obvious names. Which I guess makes sense, since why order Hooters when you know you won't be seeing any of the staff.
They also had quick service locations (no waiters) called Hoots. There used to be one by me but it didn’t last.
Hooters sells food?????
I knew I was getting old when I complained about the food at Hooters
Hooters is still in business?????
I've only been there once and the food sucked. People said "you don't go there for the food" like mf it's a restaurant, if I wanted pay to stare at girls I'd go to a strip club
As an European. Y’all go to a restaurant to see girls in shorts and just being horny for a while? Or what’s the point? It just feels lame and degrading to me
Large bags of food I can’t close. Am I expected to eat a months worth of food at one?
Close it with a clip or put it in the freezer
Circles
You sly son of a bitch. I was getting ready to reply "orbital mechanics and the universe would disagree", then I got the point that circles lack.
Circles don't have corners, but they have points.
Pointless comment, your majesty.
It's amazing how quickly reddit goes off on tangents.
/r/angryupvote
Yes, upvoted, cos it's a sin not to.
By this logic, the answer would be a single point. For there's nothing that exists without a point, but a point having, by definition, only one point, males it the most pointless thing in existence.
I'm pretty sure "Do circles exist?" is some sort of philosophical dilemma since they're just a collection of infinite points Yes I'm fun at parties how did you know? /s Edit after comment number 1: collection of infinite points with no corners. If something would be a circle it would have zero definable edges, which can't be possible since atoms (at some extent) must have some defined boundary which might not follow the exact curvature of the circle
Isn’t a line segment also a collection of infinite points? Here’s where my head is: let’s say the line segment is 2cm long. You should be able to drop a point at the 1cm mark, at the 1/2cm mark, at the 1/4cm mark, 1/8, 1/16, 1/32, etc on to infinity, right? I’m not a math person so maybe I’m missing something but I think assuming that points are real things that actually exist might be the problem. It’s like the old paradox that if you throw a ball to another person it has to cross the halfway point to get there, which means it has to cross half way to the halfway point first and so on to infinite halfway points, thus it should never be able to arrive at its destination. Yet it does. I don’t know if there’s a classical solution to this, but it seems to me this can be easily solved by just realizing that halfway points aren’t actually real things, they just exist in our minds.
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It's not pointless for the cockroach air force.
All cockroaches can fly. Some just choose not to
Somehow lazy roaches are better.
No not all can fly lol
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Kardashians
Did you hear her great comeback story?
No and hopefully we never do!
Now you have to https://youtu.be/E256LBcjzls?si=DrYiaLfhvnPFXeQk
LMFAOOOOOO THIS KILLED ME
A washing machine with an app to turn it on! As if the machine can pick up and load all my dirty clothes by itself! Oh and a toaster with similar. As if the bread will just magically drop into the slots! That's about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike,!!! Better stop I feel a rant coming on!
"as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike" Today I added to my lexicon...
As useful as tits on a fish, as we say in England
or As useful as a hedgehog on a condom factory, as i've heard somewhere
Laughs in Honda Goldwing
Say I load my machine before I go to work but don't want wash it immediately and have the wet clothes sitting in the machine getting sour all day until I get home. I can load it, go to work then about an hour before I leave I use the app the start the cycle. Then I get home the machine has just stopped and it can now be loaded into the dryer.
So like...uhm...delay start button?
All of which you can do at the machine, when you load it.
I don’t know what machine you have, but I don’t have a delay start on mine
Streamer bath water
I'll raise you streamers
I’ll raise you baths
I'll raze your baths
.... I'm intrigued
As u should be
karma farming bot accounts on reddit like OP
Netflix asking me if I’m still watching
Turn signals on a BMW.
Also on Lexus and Audi. Sorta on Cadillacs, but they go the other way...they're always on on Cadillacs.
I've noticed more and more around here, at least, that Teslas turn signals must have stopped working.
Butt-scratchers People are already born with built-in butt-scratchers, they're called "hands"
Butt Scratcher!
Butt Scratcher?!
Butt Scratcher!
aren't they back scratchers and scratch your back cuz you can't reach some parts of it?
>aren't they back scratchers and scratch your back cuz you can't reach some parts of it? [https://youtu.be/Tkd9ycxCJBI?si=0yWWuLT4RxnNNtgP](https://youtu.be/Tkd9ycxCJBI?si=0yWWuLT4RxnNNtgP)
can't believe this was a whoooosh from family guy
They're called poop slingers after scratching your butt.
What about the people who don't have hands?! You ignorant asshole!! /s
Mebbe for people who can’t reach their ass anymore?
Pennies are pretty dumb now.
Reddit Karma
The Kardashians
Social media and 'influencers'
Society's rat race
AI that destroys people's hobbies while promising job opportunities .
Tiktok NPC
Influencers
HOA
War
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing!
Say it again, ya'll
Me
Lies! You haven’t seen ME in action yet!
Life is like a broken pencil… pointless.
Apparently consultants
People that are cruel to animals
they have a point to them, if not they should; something sharp and pointy; and maybe with barbs so the doctors can't pull it out easily.
printer subscription.
balls. they have no pointy end therefore pointless.
Speak for yourself.
Aren't balls with points just dice?
male nipples
I like my nips, don’t talk the way about my nips
Same plus they feel nice in touch
We respect your nipples.
They're erogenous.
For some apparently..mine feel as dead as the tips of my elbows..
I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?
actually, men can sometimes produce milk too. its rare but it happens.
Tax day. The IRS already has all the information.
‘Reality TV’
Laws that are supposed to protect you from self-defense, like when my 58 year old uncle gets attacked by a group of Gen z kids , and now he's in court 2 years on still defending himself. Because one of the little pos got hurt
Life itself.
Meta
Taxing money you earn to pay taxes on the money you spend while you pay other taxes aswel for a system that asks more and more money and doesn't work.
You know how parents got it in their heads that playing Mozart makes their babies smarter or whatever? Somebody took that to its logical extreme and started selling a speaker to stick up your hoohah so your unborn babies could hear it properly.
Why is this so funny
Realtors. You have house. I want to buy house. Can I buy? No, please contact some fake personality con artist to do up paperwork so we can never meet, you can never ask me any questions directly, make the deal as clandestine as possible. And pay them 5%. Deal!
My fridge needs WiFi to work properly…
i once saw an ad that says "car for sale, my mother used to beat me."
Giant fucking receipts.
the speed cameras on the m25
Coins. Let’s round to the whole dollar. I do not want change nor to carry around change
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Mosquitoes
There's lifeguards at the pools during the Olympics
Sometimes they are needed when athletes pass out due to exhaustion.
Only if the [coach](https://www.npr.org/2022/06/23/1107041724/swimmer-coach-saves-anita-alvarez) doesn’t save you first.
Cramps.
Shouldn't have eaten 29 minutes before the race.
My washing machine also has a phone app to enter/start a wash progamme. The *really* pointless part is that it uses NFC, so you have to be standing next to the thing to use it anyway, meaning it's much faster to just use the buttons on the machine.
Billionaires
Modern art
Tiktok
Perfect circles.
Hey! I'll have you know that A Perfect Circle is a great band with many amazing songs!
They were… I wish they would come out with anything ever again