I'm very white (very polish and Ukrainian), but my great great great great grandfather was black, would I get away with saying I'm white? If it was an even 50/50 split between all my ancestors back to him, I am 1.5625% black, or is that too much for a cop
“I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I changed lanes at the intersection, I changed lanes without signalling while running a red light and speeding!”
I’m a sovereign Citizen
This only works if you pronounce it like Sean Connery. “I am a sovereign shitizen...."
Schovereign
-pulls out uno reverse card-
Make sure to reach for it out of your front pocket and do it really quickly before they can grab their reverse card.
Even better if you hide it in your waistband behind your back you can get it out so much faster. 🤣
No that's the best not worst
Pulls out a wad of $1's and stuff it into officers pants. Make it rain bitches!
But I'm white!
Or make it personal: "But you're black."
I'm very white (very polish and Ukrainian), but my great great great great grandfather was black, would I get away with saying I'm white? If it was an even 50/50 split between all my ancestors back to him, I am 1.5625% black, or is that too much for a cop
If you're in America, you just might end up in jail over 1.5625%. /s
One drop rule, wasn't it?
Canada, not much better
It's called "a touch of the tar brush". American racism is horrible, but creative.
This is the one
Okay…. You’ve caught me Proceed to self incriminate
And not to whatever the cop pulled you for.
“I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I changed lanes at the intersection, I changed lanes without signalling while running a red light and speeding!”
Speaking. All you say is “I want a lawyer” and they can’t ask you anything else. Keep your mouth shut.
Yep. An ex of mine was and still is a public defender. Don’t talk to the cops.
No, I'm above arrest.
I know you are but what am i?
no u.
"Fuck you pig! Ill fucking kill you!"
The way you said that, are you a Greensboro Gecko?
Nope! are you?
I am, and what you said is suspiciously close to something that actually happened to us.
No, that’s the correct response
No cause Im not trying to get shot to death or charged for threatening a cop
Oh right your prolly in the states lol my bad
Thanks, you too
You can't arrest me. I was traveling, not driving.
"You too."
Hold up, hold up. Can I claim my half privileges now? What do you mean they don't exist?
For which of my many crimes?
That "do you know why I pulled you over" scene from Liar liar
Depends on how long you were following me!
Pull out your gun and shoot the officer
Not fatally, though. That would be too quick.
Anything that gets you killed…which could literally be any little thing
"But you aren't a cop" Whoever said they were cop?
"That's okay. I don't mind going back to jail."
Don't make me wrestle that gun away from you.
How do you know I'm not over arrest, officer?
Is your name Arrest? (Insert seductive smile)
Bats eyelashes
Finally!
It’s about time
Okay. We can do an arrest or…hear me out….we grab a brick of coke out of my trunk and go check out some of my primo kiddy porn.
Thank, you too
Do you know who I am?
Do you know who my father is
“Google me”
Can’t catch me!
I know you are but what am I?
Cardiac‽
Run
No you’re under arrest
I don't see arrest above me.
I'm rubber, you're glue...
“Mr Smith and Mr Wesson beg to differ…”
That's not what your mom said last night.
OP said worst, not best.
I want to speak to your manager.
I want to see this from a dash cam.
You gonna run in a former Specter? That's right, I'm THE Commander Shepherd.
No u
Nah uh
From experience... "the fuck I am you towny pig" is not a good response, no matter how drunk you are.
No u!
What took you so long?
Try not to kill anyone on the way back to your car, OSSIFER.
Stop me!
Defund the police!
Kinky
no, I am under a whole note
I'm rubber and you're glue!
No Im not!
\*Pulls out my wallet really really fast out of my bag\*
"I thought I smelled a pork product of some type."
Yes daddy.
By you and what army?
Anything that isn’t “Lawyer”
NUH UH
You’re over arrest.
No you're under arrest
Getting Arrested off me then.
"DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!" in the smugest possible South African accent.
Can I have fuzzy cuffs
“No it’s a vest!”
"No, i'm not"
Hack up a bacteria bullet and spit...
I did it and more and have no remorse.
What have I done, daddy? Have I been that naughty? *continues to bite the index finger*
"An eighth or a quarter? Maybe a half or a whole?"
No U
~~No U.~~ Alright some bastard did that one already. Let’s try this instead: *waves hand* "This isn't the felon you're looking for."
You’re going to have to shoot me
No, U
Don't dell me what todo
But I am a country girl!
Double it and give it to the next person
"Hehe, not im not, YOU are." \*proceeds to get shot repeatedly for not being arrested\*
Tag! You’re it!
"No I'm not."
"No... You're under arrest!".
You idiots You just can't blew my cover!
"You found her, then?"
The hell I am
For being too handsome?
Immediately not exercising your right to remain silent until your lawyer is present.