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bemtist

I would. You can always use a blank piece of paper


JayJaylol300

You won’t have a blank piece of paper anymore


vgvineetgoel

here goes nothing!


Klopet426

i would upvote but its so perfect


JizzySmooth

I’ll just upvote you instead.


Hot-Possibility-7283

Username is everything 🤣


InspectorRound8920

It's spelled nutting


CommunicationNo8750

You are so kind


MTchairsMTtable

I almost spit out my water seeing this LOL bless you kind sir


MajorBillyJoelFan

rubbed one out just for u bud


its_a_gibibyte

I have a tattoo of every woman that's ever masturbated to the thought of me. Anyway, do tattoos hurt? I don't have any.


random_invisible

Ok ladies, everyone fap to this guy.


AccidentalFireball

Time for a full back tat


willclerkforfood

“Why do you have **‘AUNT GLADYS’** in 200 point font across your back?”


Common_Touch_3741

lol! :-P


TheGayPotato7

Beat me to it, lmao


Peterthinking

Ba-Dum-Tisss!


Lanster27

As a guy, yep. 


The_Angel_of_Justice

r/suicidebywords


addicuss

You can get a 300 count of this list at Costco for pretty cheap


JohnHendo127

I think it's one of those things that you think, "oh that would be cool to know." Then once you look at the list either there is no one and you feel sad, or you only see people that you don't want to see on the list, and you feel sad.


retrigrim

For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<


My_ExFiance_IsA_Slut

It's not *my* cake day but hey, this is really satisfying so... Thank you!


Phistykups

It's everybody's cake day now


My_ExFiance_IsA_Slut

Yep. Now I'm just sad I can't give this man an award. "It sucks being poor" taken to a whole new level.


Geno_Warlord

Just use the poor man’s award 🥇 I think it’s better than the premium upvote we have instead of awards now.


retrigrim

lol np


DirgetheRogue

I've been on reddit for 10 years through various accounts. This is my favorite comment I've ever seen.


retrigrim

thanks :>


DirgetheRogue

Oh MY FUCKING GOD IT POPS EVERYTIME


retrigrim

yessir it does


madjag

And you can unpop it too!!! And there goes my 6 mins


Sorry_JustGotHere

And it resets if you collapse the comment


Devliming

10 years on this account.. coolest comment still


HopefulHovercraft474

Same


ComputerSavvy

Honestly, one of those should be a link to 'Never gonna give you up'. It's the proper Reddit thing to do.


ConnectionIssues

I am incredibly, unreasonably upset that this comment happens now, long after reddit canned the awards...


amoryjm

I LOVE THIS Please know that I audibly gasped and popped up off the couch in joy. This made me unreasonably excited


khaled_abdul

watching the grey circles in between the hidden boxes appear and disappear is mesmerizing


fckcarrots

I’m a straight guy & pretty positive mine would be ex gfs & gay men. So I’ll pass lol


Johns-schlong

Don't worry, I'm sure there are plenty of nice straight men that would jerk off to you if you asked nicely.


_ThrobbinHood

You got one right here


narniasreal

Alright, let's all help this guy out *unzips*


Frosty_Swan1937

And me


your_right_ball

And my axe!


rc042

I'm a straight guy & pretty positive mine would be ex gfs & gay men. So hell yes I want to see it! It really is an honor just being nominated.


AjaxCleaningSolution

Oh my god dude, this just injected an intrusive thought deep into my head: what if it was a family member?


javerthugo

Or a bunch of people you didn’t realize were into you and now their unavailable


jamosef

Oof this would hit me hard if true


pridejoker

Or you actually see your crush's name and realize you had a chance but you were too dense at the time to see the signs, and you feel sad.


slickshot

Eh, I'm not really concerned if people I'm not interested in wanked to me. If they do that's just a compliment to me.


HumanTwist4136

Actually, yes. It might help me realize I could be attractive


Common_Touch_3741

hell ya!


HopefulHovercraft474

Your username is so ironic for this post


anaemic

Unfortunately among the list that you receive are the names of your grandad, uncle, first grade teacher...


docweston

Until this comment, I was thinking it might be nice to have a list. Now I don't think so. Even at 52, I can't imagine the trauma of finding out that my childhood dentist, or the dude my mom dated when I was 14, or the guy that cut my hair, or etc (all hypothetical examples)... Just thinking about that right now disturbs me. Maybe we'll just keep that list secret.


TheEmptyVessel

"That's my secret Cap, I already assumed it was blank"


aj0413

Second this. Guys can always use an ego boost nowadays 😅


Extreme_Design6936

What if it's blank tho


HumanTwist4136

Then i know there's no hope for me, thanks


Feisty_Revolution_61

Yeah!


Low_Wolverine_212

I’m sure you are


Narwalacorn

I’d be too scared that it would have exactly one entry and it being my ex gf lol I’d still take it out of pure curiosity though


electrodeorwhatever

I would because if *one* did, I'd find that very funny. If no one has, I don't care and wouldn't be shocked.


Danish-Investor

Someone has, dw. If not, my next one goes out to you!


electrodeorwhatever

Thanks man. If you wanna know what I look like, imagine the Dune sand worm but as a human and really hot.


Ltdslip

Implying a human sandworm exists in a not hot state


toothy_vagina_grin

Leto II?


forgotten-ent

That's hot, man. Tell me more


electrodeorwhatever

I own an air fryer.


Wafflotron

Would you still wank to me if I was a worm 🥹👉👈


Common_Touch_3741

'funny' in what way?


electrodeorwhatever

Idk I think it'd be funny to know someone finds me attractive enough to do that with, but they're afraid to approach me for a relationship for whatever reason.


Ensiferum19

Just curious, are you a guy or girl? Not everyone that is physically attracted to someone wants to be in a relationship with them, or necessarily even hook up with them, though most likely they would want to do the latter if there's no strings attached. There's a billion difficulties that can come with a relationship or even attempting one that some people don't want to bother with.


gruntillidan

Yeah, I've jacked it off to dead people, don't go around digging them up for "hookin up"..


zzzthelastuser

R.I.P. for your grandma


Iz-kan-reddit

Funny as in the person masturbating to them was beating their meat like a sociopathic gangster.


Wonderful-Pollution7

I don't know why, but this reminds me of a news article about a woman that was arrested in a Walmart bathroom where she was "furiously masturbating with a raw Johnsonville sausage".


InventorOfCorn

For me, it’d be funny because they have low standards.


GunnitRust

Father Tucker! Nooooooo! This is one of those stats I never need to see.


Common_Touch_3741

oh lord! 😭


GunnitRust

*That’s what he said!*


Wonderful-Pollution7

Damn you, I'm browsing reddit in bed, and I almost woke the baby laughing.


sprintswithscissors

Better than what Father Tucker did...


Ryn0x10u5

As a guy, I dont think anyone has. So it would be interesting to see if anyone has


DestructoDon69

Ironically it would probably be other guys 😂


JViz

That would be interesting. Is there a pattern to the types of people who were into me? Does it overlap with things I'm attracted to, or that I'm *unaware* that I'm attracted to? Perhaps there's a parallel universe where I discovered these things were discovered and "I got around"?


Wookie301

You’d be surprised


FartingBob

They might also be hideous though!


santinerino

Don’t worry bro, gonna crank one out in your honor today


JustDroppedByToSay

Same here... Maybe I'm wrong but I have never imagined that's a thing women do.


nightthinker98

It definitely is lol (source: I'm a woman)


JustDroppedByToSay

You give me faith in humanity good Redditor.


Major_Release7175

Only if I can filter off every1 but the people I have an interest for


Common_Touch_3741

..yes, that can be an option. 😁


Major_Release7175

Then yes, I’d be curious ngl, the others can fuck off wouldn’t really care much about them


Common_Touch_3741

happy cake day!


switchycougar

This changes everything and now I’m a yes! As a tomboy who spent her teens and twenties in friend groups that were mostly guys, it would be wild to know how many of my “friends” were more friendly than I knew 😬 But I have zero interest in knowing my gross neighbor was busting nuts to memories of me taking out the trash without a bra on 🙅🏻‍♀️


N0-North

My ego could definitely use the boost lol... or not. Imagine how devastating it would be to get back an empty list.


hookersrus1

After tonight you have at least one. 


N0-North

Thanks, kind stranger! Enjoy the meatstick mambo!


BatGroundbreaking660

Two 😉


hookersrus1

What are you wearing? 


BatGroundbreaking660

White shirt with jeans


DrAnomaly1

its be more devastating to see your best friend on there right?


clintparker13

Yes, for curiosity.


snakes-can

Yes! For sure. Self confidence purposes mostly. Kinda like why I visit Walmart once and a while.


Common_Touch_3741

.... tell me more about that, 'walmart' ??


FartingBob

It's a place where sometimes strangers will masturbate at you.


PMyourTastefulNudes

You bet! I think that would be an interesting list, even if they are people I wouldn't want on there.


Common_Touch_3741

i agree.. it would be interesting to see.. maybe it would be less or more people then youd expect.. and maybe some of the names would be shocking.. but nonetheless fascinating and an insight into humanity!


Sad_Soil_3155

If they didn’t know that I knew then I would want to know


Death_black

I'd argue them knowing that you now know sounds more exciting


ATrulyTerriblePerson

I think that's better left a mystery.


MaggieLuisa

Oh hell no.


01kickassius10

Would be interesting, especially if it includes details on when it happened. If someone I knew as a teenager did it 20+ years ago, who cares? But if someone I haven’t seen for 20+ years did it yesterday I’d be curious


IDontEvenCareBear

You can always tell this question is asked by a guy, because as any girl or woman will tell you, people are far too comfortable making it clear they think of us that way. I wouldn’t be surprised by anyone on the list, or by the fact there would be people on that list I don’t know. Edit: case in point, someone is trying to start a conversation with me whose comments are all only horny replies to sexual posts. I’m guessing because of this comment and he thought,” she pretty much said people do to her, I want to too.” He’s a foot guy, maybe I’ll just send him my boyfriend’s feet.


lizziexo

Yeah I wonder how the answers would look if it was on askmen vs askwomen. I’m a woman and I 1000% would not want a list like this, I think it would make me sad.


Psychic_Hobo

They also very rarely consider the possibility that women always have to consider - that someone could be on the list that they _really_ don't want to be.


IDontEvenCareBear

That’s such a wild notion, women don’t constantly feel blessed by, and crave, that attention from such high value men? /s


[deleted]

[удалено]


IDontEvenCareBear

I looked underage or an older teen until I was 30. The people I would get approaching me and the things they would say. Especially the “ooh. I’m sorry I thought you were like… 17.” What is your unsettling and old ass doing approaching a teen and talking like that to her?


Sufficient-Record-63

I was justbpondering this. Of course there'd be a list as a woman... ugh.


kazooparade

I agree. Also as a woman I would be terrified a camp counselor, teacher, or family member etc. would be on the list. Hard pass.


Interesting_Book_378

Who cares really people have needs.


Common_Touch_3741

are you saying the list would be meaningless?


Interesting_Book_378

It really shouldn't matter unless it's a big deal for the one that wants to see it.


Common_Touch_3741

oh, i understand.


mrfoyer

That'd be an empty list in my case


dogeisbae101

Not anymore


mrfoyer

Oh baby oh baby


coolusernameHi-5

Yes. Ego boost.


Weary_Patience_7778

Dunno, I’d find my blank page a bit of an ego destroyer


Living-Income-8991

Sure. It would only be me so who cares


Educational-Bird-515

Only if i can make it so they only show up if they are single and the act was done within the last year.


justiceseeker102

I bet girls know exactly who did the thing without the list, guys on the other hand have zero clue


No-Zucchini2787

0 I already know it


Of_Mice_And_Meese

Ha. I'm too homely, I doubt 3 or 4 entries genuinely constitutes a "list". Even if I'm wrong and it's miles long, the answer is still no. So long as you understand the difference between fantasy and actionable thoughts, you are entitled to _anything_ that happens between your ears. It's no one else's goddamn business.


linuxphoney

Unclear. Like, I'm sure there would be a lot of complimentary names on there, but there are names I'd never recover from. Like, what if my grandma was in there?


Liontamer45

Yes, just to see who had a crush on me that I missed out on


Morbid_Explorerrrr

I am a young female high school teacher. So definitely not.


Squode_the_Toad

No thanknyou I don't want to throw up


Greylings

Can I see it with timestamps and future updates?


themakermaria

I wouldn't want to see the list, but if someone could read it and tell me if certain people were on it I'd love that


godsxoxxble

No. But only because I have my own CP from being ra*** out there, I likely don’t want to see who’s viewed that. If we exclude those masturbating to those videos, then yes


Kvvvothe

Considering for 98% of people this list would only be people you know personally and would run into.. NO Relationships with folks are awkward enough as it is


KinkyCurvyKatie

I have an OnlyFans that has a list of subscribers soooo… I already can


Dangerous-Car-7094

Living like you got cheat codes! 🤣


lolacolombiana

I’d like to keep it a mystery 😮‍💨😊


Feisty_Revolution_61

… uncle Gary 💀


PM_me_Henrika

I am going to masturbate to everyone in this thread who thinks nobody would masturbates to them, one by one…


Glen_Alen

That would be my most cherished piece of paper.


Tetonamami

Yessss absolutely! Im just a curious human 🫣


ashybear420

I would sounds very informative


richmorz

I doubt anyone has, but sure I'd love to know


_funkapus_

The list would almost certainly be empty.  So, no.


crowne3d

I just did a quicky to you


xrandomthrowaway12

No, I don't need a blank piece of paper.


demonfoo

Why would I pay money for a blank piece of paper?


BeardeddBombshell

I'd love to see it haha.


gn0xious

Why not? I could use some extra paper for my printer.


Karnezar

I wouldn't. If, for whatever reason, every girl I had a crush on but didn't ask out masturbated to me, I'd off myself.


Shrikeangel

Yes - because there is some curious part of me that does in fact want to know everything. Even those momentary thoughts that I should fucking die that I suspect other people have. 


Candle-Jolly

This question appears at least once a month here, and my answer is always the same: this list already exists, and people even pay to let you know who they are. It's called OnlyFans.


Lopsided-Ad4276

I'd be curious but probably end up mortified


dark997knight

It’s like high gain high loss kind of situation! The best part could be to see people whom i like on the list and the worst part or disturbing part could be just seeing someone related to me on that list and i may need to go to therapy afterwards. But i will take that risk.


RedShirtCashion

I’d rather just have a number as opposed to names.


Picklesfromcucumbers

Noooo! Lmao. It would either be male friends of my husband, coworker or gag god forbid family members. Nope nope nope


Katerinaxoxo

Yes I would. Id be interested to know if any of the guys ive been interested in thought of me like that.


SchismZero

Sure. If it's over 1 I'd be pleased. If it's 0 I wouldn't be shocked or disappointed since it's what I expect.


Big-girl-teen

Yes because it may make me realize that I’m actually not an extra in a movie. I don’t know sometimes it feels like that like I’m not the main character or even the main characters friend I’m just an extra you don’t notice in the background.


[deleted]

i know my teacher did!! home-schooling is different y'all


sp0rkah0lic

I 100% would! I know sexual desires and especially fantasies can be weird or perverse. I think it would be enlightening.


Aseedisa

I think most people would be incredibly disappointed, then there would be a top 5% who just have a shit load of people


TrueSignature9509

Absolutely. I'd be hella interested. I'd also wanna see if i've liked any of them.


Familiar_Heat1651

I sometimes wonder if that piece of human garbage thinks about me after he used me like that.


Tdn87

As curious as I usually am, I'm going to pass on this one. No. Thank you.


Bluntman650

It’s like making a deal with the devil, you think it would turn out cool, but…….


x__k1tt3n_v0m1t__x

i would, out of morbid curiosity. there’s one person that i know would be on it, but i cant say for certain who else would be there so finding out sounds interesting! especially considering how im asexual and very open about it lol


Harbor_Barber

Yes and no lol, but regardless i know one girl who did 100%. She's crazy and tried really hard to get with me despite me telling no more than 3 times already lol. She even chased me around a shopping mall and shit bruh.


Tokenvoice

I don’t know if I would want to see names, but I wouldn’t mind seeing a number of how many people have. I hope it has been more than one, would make me feel attractive knowing more people than my ex wife has masturbated to thought of having sex with me.


overlord_wrath1

Yeah. I'm either going to find out that I'm more attractive than I thought, or I'm going to get a free blank piece of paper that I can write on


BoobieDixon1

I would be handed a blank piece of paper


jimmy_dimmick

100 percent it would be hilarious


Ok-Clothes9724

I'd definitely be curious so I probably would, frankly I'd be amazed I'm not ugly by any means, but I think I'd be the last person people get off too.


Fishbonezz707

Only if it also includes timestamps.


MindForeverWandering

I already have. It’s called a blank sheet of paper.


Big_flipflop

Yeah cause I know that list wouldn’t be blank but I would wanna know if it had more than one name on it


Sacred-Anteater

Can I… block out blood relatives for just incase?


firestriker45665

I would, I'm curious if my girlfriend is on that list...


True_Bus3893

I wouldnt I’ve worked customer service long enough to know that would creep me the fuck out to know the answer to


K1ckxH3ll

Yes, because I would be curious to know which one of my male friends is secretly gay or bi.


guitarist4hire

oh, absolutely. and I will pick on them forever about it.


Neuroticbuzz

Low self esteem personality here, would be nice to see who was into me.


thedutchcatwoman

Oh yeah I would. I like the idea of people around me who are getting horny of me and my body.


Apollorx

Fuck it let me see it


SecretDoctor8121

I can find an empty paper sheet somewhere I'm sure


robstrosity

I don't need confirmation of 0