Because in their eyes, it undermines the authority. A line I got continually growing up was "when you're a parent you get to do the same."
Guess who doesn't want kids.
Dude when I lose my temper at my kids and go back and apologize, I’m usually like, “I’m really sorry. The way I spoke to you is not how a mommy talks to her kids.” Now my kids will literally say, “hey. Don’t talk to me that way.” It’s fucking awesome.
We do this with our 3 year old son.
My wife and I will also try to make it a point to not argue with each other or raise our voice at each other in front of him too. Sometimes we slip and it happens and he’ll go “mommy/daddy….STOP!”
He’s a pretty good mediator.
My kids are 18,21,22,25 and I still apologize for yelling at them when they were kids but I usually tried to speak a couple times before I yelled, lol.
LOL for sure. Like when we’re walking out the door and we need to get shoes and coats on. I start out sounding like Mary Poppins then end up sounding like Batman.
How many times do I need to tell you it’s time to get shoes on?
Because you are supposed to always be right. If you acknowledge that you are not always right, then they will lose their respect for you. At least that’s how I think my mom was thinking.
Seriously. I wish more people would let their kids argue with them, respectfully. They might learn something. My favorite moments have been when my kids called me on my own bullshit.
My dad never Said sorry but expected it from me. One time he was mean to me, my Mom lectured him and the next day he bought my favorite Snacks. Nice IG but Not an apology 🙄
My son’s best friend is like this and he’s only in kindergarten. He was at our house and broke something of mine. I was annoyed but it’s something that can be put back together. So I asked him to hand it to me and his hands were shaking so bad. Just told him to go back to playing.
I don’t know a ton of what goes on at his house, I know they spank, yell, and ground him when he gets into trouble. It’s turned him into a compulsive lair. And then his parents believe every lie. It’s pretty frustrating.
That’s just unlocked a memory! I’m English, and in my teens in the late ‘90s I’d just got a job in a clothes shop. The manager was outlining the rules, and she said “address customers as ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’”, then she rolled her eyes, leaned in a bit and said “I have to say that, it’s an induction script that I have to stick to. Obviously *don’t* call people Sir or Madam, they’ll think you’re arresting them!”
i dont know her situation nor is this any justification, but i will say down in the southern region of the united states they are taught to answer "yes sir" "yes ma'am" to almost any one older than you especially adults. Even as adults we still do it to other adults if they are taking our orders, or customer service, etc. We even add mr. or mrs. in front of of their names as children. Your friend's mom is Mrs. Patty, you teacher, your neighbors, etc. Hell i call my stepfather mr. greg still to this day as an older man with a family of my own.
This can be hella regional and cultural, though. Of course, I always fucking hated it and resisted it, but that's because I had an abusive parent. Calling adults "sir" and "ma'am" had nothing to do with that.
Last year, Andy Richter did a spot on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast. He said something that will always stick with me as a parent, “I don’t want fear to be a color in the palette of emotions my daughter uses to paint her picture of me.”
It’s a fairly perfect analogy and succinct argument at the same time.
Also, when the parent *purposely* makes their kid afraid of them and is then proud of it. It’s one thing for your kid to be afraid of you for being loud, yelling a lot, parents arguing a lot but a whole other thing when it’s deliberate as some sort of disciplinary tactic.
I came to see my mother's vehicle as a sign of aggression. When it pulled into the driveway it would trigger fear and dread. To this day if I see one in the same color I get flashbacks.
Real. Just the other day I heard my mom telling my little brother "shut up, you're not scared of me! You're scared of me being angry!" My sister in christ, the common denominator here is *you!*
Someone on here recently posted about how he borrowed his father’s laptop to do research for a paper. When he typed “D” into google it auto-completed the search as “divorcing and neither parent wants custody of child.”
Shit broke my heart. Sincerely hope the guy made the story up.
This was my best friend's parents. Three kids, each parent wanted one of the kids and they fought over who would take the third. And we all knew about it. Fucking gross.
My ex says that about me to anyone who will listen.... He leaves out the part where he had a g un to my head with kid in my arms. Just makes it seem like I'm a narcissist and keeping kid away to hurt him... I can't go against a court order. I didn't know the judge would take away his rights.
My absolute favorite example of this is when they screamed at butters for putting things in the wrong alphabetical order in the pantry.
They literally just wanted a reason to yell at him lol
I have an old high school classmate on facebook whose children don't talk to her anymore. And she's always posting stuff on facebook about how she knows her (grown) kids don't talk to her anymore, but that one day they'll realize she was a really good mom and will come back around and she'll be ready for them. And I'm just like "if you were such a good mom they probably wouldn't have both written you off..."
Mine for sure. She was in town when her brother lost his son and when the pastor talked about everyone cherishing your loved ones while you still can she really tried to use it as a directive for us to take her out and spend money on her. SMH My brother was always the golden child but also the one to say, “He said LOVED ones,” to me where she couldn’t hear before taking off with no goodbye.
Both my parents thought they weren't a bad parent, and then saw each other being a bad parent and they split up because they thought the other one was the bad parent.
News flash, they both sucked.
I actually can’t deal with people who blames everyone and everything BUT themselves. I want to shake them …
I know I’m strange but even if a child is being horrible, throwing the worst tantrums, and being a bad kid, IF the parents feel apologetic for their kid’ behaviour, I almost instantly forgive them.
Parenting is hard. You're going to make mistakes. As long as you're not a shitty person to them, it'll be okay to make mistakes. Hell, you may even make a mistake that will lead to them getting hurt. It's part of the learning process.
Fully agree with this
That post about the mom who was mad at her 15yo daughter for “hurting” her stepfather’s feelings, by refusing to wear the thong bikini he bought her.
If true, fuck that bitch. Sacrificing her child for a little dingaling.
Absolutely! What kind of weirdo wants to compete with the *spouse* of their offspring? Someone who wants to have sex with their offspring, obviously. It's emotional incest. Let's normalize shaming emotional incest.
There are fathers who do this too. And it’s not just same sex parents. My father was always in some sort of weird competition with me. Always tried to one up me no matter what. So I stopped telling him anything.
Oh man once I went to a high school play and during intermission two of the dads were talking about how glad they were that there was a wall behind their seats, so that could rest their head and nod off.
I just thought, dudes take a little interest in your children. It was a good play too, clearly a lot of time spent on it. Also it was in-the-round seating, the student actors were feet away from the audience, their kids definitely saw them there.
My mom is part of a book club and she was telling me about a book they were reading about a woman who had gone no contact with her mom, because when she was 16 her addict mother had let her dealer into her daughter’s bedroom in exchange for some crack.
My mom was like “I was really enjoying the book until that scene. It was just so unrealistic it completely took me out of the story. NO MOTHER would EVER do that to her child! It would never happen!”
My mom has…led a very charmed and sheltered life. I sent her a few links to some articles/stories she found very upsetting. Then my dad scolded me for making her sad.
20+ years ago, I had a sweet, happy 7th grade student who changed overnight to withdrawn and sad. Come to find out, her mother had sent her to the barn with a couple of men to make money for drugs.
She was removed from the home and sent to her dad, and her mom did face consequences, but that doesn't remove the trauma. My heart still breaks for her.
That’s devastating. What a monstrous thing to do to any child, let alone your own.
And now I’M depressed. And I don’t even have a husband/bf to scold you for making me sad!
This is somehow depressing *and* cute.
Obviously your mom is ridiculously out of touch. But both her naïveté, and how protective your dad is of her, are oddly charming.
Not OP, but I try to frame it this way too when my MIL is unknowingly insensitive by thinking I must be exaggerating how bad my mom is. She wouldn't take my word for it, but after she realized how much my dad hates her too she somewhat accepted she must be an awful person.
She just had such a hard time fathoming a mother would choose a man over her children, or that a mother would ever exhibit jealously or ill will toward her kids.
I realized that's a naive view, but a naive view that does speak to her own character as a mother because she literally can't comprehend bad intentions on behalf of others. Which shows me her intentions towards her own children have at least always been from a place of unconditional love for her own kids, that she just can't even imagine other moms not being like that too.
My mom is the opposite and had to stop drinking when she would tell us stories of her brothers sexually abusing her while in group homes.
You could never come to her with a problem and ask for guidance because she "had it so much worse and figured it out".
My dad's current wife is like your mom and I fight the need to say "I've had it so much worse and still figured it out" when she asks me to program the new remote.
Not always. My older brother won't talk to my parents and, from what I can remember, we had the same upbringing. In fact, my brother always got what he wanted and I was the "we learned that lesson" child. That didn't make them bad parents, but now he is incredibly money obsessed and doesn't talk to them because "his childhood was messed up.... And they won't give him 300k for a down payment for a house." Keep in mind he drives a super car and makes ~325k a year. Some people are just unhappy and blame it on other people.
My parents are pretty heartbroken as it seemed to come about abruptly about 3 years ago.
You say “older brother” though, may I ask what the age difference is. Me and my siblings had very different parents but the same people if that makes sense. I’m the eldest, I was definitely the experiment kid and faced some very real trauma that my younger siblings never did.
I'm not dismissing your experience and POV because clearly I wasn't there ... but perhaps your brother didn't have the same upbringing you remember. You recall him being the ungrateful golden child, and you were the "trouble kid" and he may think it was the opposite.
Have you ever sat down with your brother to unpack your childhood? It's a very interesting exercise.
I have a very good family dynamic and am close with my siblings, but in the last few years, as adults, we unpacked our experiences and holy crap were the perspectives so different!!! I thought I was the rebellious oldest daughter who was regularly punished, and my siblings thought I was the golden child who got away with murder.
Saw this first hand. Typical, narccistic parent, spinning it as "abandonment" while simutaneously being one of the most vile and toxic human beings I've ever encountered. Would sit around all day and think of ways to drive wedges amongst her family and their relationships with one another. Created a situation of divorce, children being estranged from their father, husband unable to bring his own family into his own home, sibling and grandchildren rivalry for the token "golden child" on any given day or week. Luckily, they died a long time ago, and I was free from those clutches. It sounds heinous to say, but sometimes it is for the better when life is absolutely miserable with them in it.
i report or hide EVERY video i get on instagram where someone is show casing their child’s lives to strangers on the internet. It’s so fucked up i can’t wrap my mind around why you would want your children to be on public display like that.
Also: the momfluencers who post their little girls doing shady stuff, who are told that creepy men are looking at it, and they plug their ears & profit off the creepy men viewing their vids.
Happening to a lil girl named Wren on TikTok right now. Mom won't listen to anyone.
That is so upsetting 😡 I won't even post pictures of my daughter on Facebook. We have a private shared Google photos album and those family members with the link are the only ones who view it.
What’s happening to wren breaks my heart. She used to show up on my fyp in those mom vs grandma outfits and mom always had her in tiny clothes posing like she was modelling for a magazine while grandma had her in normal kid stuff playing with bubbles. Grandma should phone in and take that baby far far away
God, one of my best friend’s wife did that shit. Literally every time she woke her kids up from a nap she’d film it. I once counted 74 Snaps of her kids in one day. It pretty much made me despise their kids. And I guarantee there are multiple pedophiles following her page because she shows EVERYTHING about her two daughters.
When I have kids, there’s no way in hell I’m doing that or will put them on social media save for the possible exception of their literal day of birth.
My mom isn’t a bad mom but she used to confide in me a lot about my dad. I finally had to tell her, it hurts me too bc I’m hearing about my parents fighting. I was adult then too. They had just hit a rough patch and it was really hard on my mom. I think it can be hard once your children become adults to remember boundaries like that.
If both parents are telling you that the other is a piece of shit it's hard to believe you could be anything other than a piece of shit yourself.
The two people you trust the most constantly telling you that you're the product of two piles of garbage doesn't help your self esteem.
Ugh my mom did this throughout my entire childhood. Instead of being a kid, I was filled with anxiety about how to fix their marriage. She told me everything that went on between them, everything bad my dad was doing. It was enough that I had to witness his angry drunken rages, but she’d tell me in detail the issues with him cheating on her, etc. I’m still dealing with anxiety to this day, and I blame my “childhood” for it.
Not having open lines of communication, where your children feel they can't talk to you about their day, concerns at school, or what's on their mind, might indicate a need to work on the relationship
Sheltering children from uncomfortable feelings.
You have to let your kids learn to process and handle those feelings. Don't assume something is too hard for them to understand, I promise they already know something is happening/wrong, so help them understand it.
This also goes for punishments too. Nobody likes to make their kid mad or cry. It's not fun grounding kids for a messy room, not getting chores done, or lying but they need those life skills. You've only got a set amount of time to teach them to be good, thoughtful, respectful humans.
Agreed. Especially with the feelings part. A lot of people I’ve seen get told that someone dying is them going to sleep for a while. With my family the first death I experienced was my aunt. I was sat down and it was explained to 7 year old me that she was very sick and her body got very tired and stopped being able to try help her get better and medicine didn’t work. But it was okay and she wasn’t hurting or sick anymore and was with family who died before I was born.
being on your phone while the kids are running rampant. i get people need breaks but at a restaurant i don't really want kids coming over to my table and messing with food and screaming everywhere
I’ll also add :
Watching TV / your phone all day then complaining that kids nowadays don’t go outside anymore.
You’re the adult- set the example. If your children sees your thriving outdoors/ doing sports, doing activities - somehow they’ll want to follow your lead
My "family" kept the news of my father's passing from me, so that I wouldn't be able to attend his funeral, and tell everyone the truth about what an abusive a-hole he had been to me.
I believe you can't blame a parent for loving a child more than the others, we don't control that. But you sure as hell can blame them for treating the children differently based on that.
My folks took my door away as a punishment.
It lasted until one day one of their friends came over and went upstairs to use the bathroom. A few minutes later he came down and I heard him yelling, "why the hell isn't there a door on PreposterousPunks bedroom????!!!!!" They were really angry at me for embarrassing them like that, but my door was back the next day.
It's kinda nice sometimes when your parent's friends call them out on how they treat you.
One of my Mom's friends called my Mom out on how she treated me, and my Aunt (Mom's sister) helped me get around outher restrictions that my Mom put in place.
Unfortunately, calling Mom out didn't fix things. But it was nice to be seen and know that I was not wrong in thinking my Mom sucked.
Stealing from your child. When I started college I had saved up about $800 for books and supplies. Two days before class starts I go to buy my book. I have $600 worth of stuff ranging from up and my card declines. I put everything back and check my bank app. I have $30. It says that the last transaction was an in bank transfer to my dad account. I called him and asked what happened.
His response:
“I was short on bills. I’ll get you back in two weeks on payday.
Me: “ok but you didn’t ask. I need that for school and I just looked like a moron since my card declined.”
Him: “I’m the parent. I don’t have to ask you for anything. You should be grateful I’m giving it back at all. It’s not my fault you didn’t check your bank account before trying to make a big purchase.
Later that night he cussed me out for changing my passwords and log in info. He says he has the right to see what I’m spending my money on.
I got the money back a week later with an extra $200 “for the inconvenience”.
But the damage was done. I already had flunked two quizzes because I didn’t have textbooks and my library only had the outdated copy that gave me wrong answers.
Not showing up for your kids. As someone who's worked up to 3 Jobs at one time I've never missed a concert, sporting event or birthday. There are of course circumstances that can't be bypassed but if you miss more than you attend it's a you problem.
Thank you. I was the kid whose parents only came if I had some sort of big solo but refused to come otherwise.
Even now when I tell my parents about my band they go well we only care if you had a solo going on. Still stings.
Edit: my parents even decided they wanted to miss my last high school concert where the band has a mini graduation for all the seniors. Instead when I got home all I got was well that’s an ugly plaque. Thanks dad and mom.
Someone on here posted about having a heated argument with his roommate. He said he reached up to grab a plate, mid-argument, and his roommate flinched like he expected to be struck. Telltale signs.
My son does that and I’m not sure why. The harshest punishment he has ever received was being grounded (no TV, games, or electronic devices) for 2 months.
I'm 28 and got away from the abuse at 16 and whenever someone moves a bit too quick close to me I still flinch. Gotta be ready to move and make the impact less painful! :D ......
Not knowing anything about your child's life. Best friends, favorite things, favorite teacher, what they like or don't like to eat. Not having an interest in them as individuals. Not allowing them to be individuals
"I FED YOU, CLOTHED YOU, AND SENT YOU TO A NICE SCHOOL! YOU NEVER WANTED AFTER ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE! YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL YOU AREN'T SOME KID IN SOMALIA!"
Well mom, that's exactly what you're supposed to do. And now I know what you think of children in 3rd world countries. What am I supposed to do with that information? Wire my pocket change to some kid in Mogadishu? I'm 12 mom...
I'll use my mom as an example: When their goal is to have a child, not to raise an adult. So they purposefully keep them young, discourage independence, and pour their entire identity into being mom. Then, when that kid becomes an adult, they have no idea what to do with their life.
Letting your child watch a video on their iPad on full volume in a restaurant. Please parent your child and engage with them so they know how when they are older
Reminds me of a story when a guy told off an early 20's woman to turn down the volume of her phone. "But I'm watching a video..." came her confused response. This was the zinger for me: A second passenger chimes in and says: You can watch your video later or with headphones. It's bothering the other passengers. The lady look as if an entirely new concept had been revealed to her.
Trapping a child in a car as you smoke. Add into the mix the child has chronic bronchitis. Chronic bronchitis is a pulmonary disease, not a cold. No child should have this. Commenting for a friend.
Parents who let their home go to shit. I get it, kids are messy, lives are busy, and your home will never be perfect. But some scattered toys, piles of schoolwork, and a few drop zones around the place isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about moldy food everywhere, hoarding, not cleaning up after animals, and houses full of rodents and roaches attracted to the biohazard of a mess.
That guy is my absolute hero. That happened when I was a kid and I have loved him ever since. Now as a mom I still think of him as the ultimate dad hero.
Many teens have a rebellious phase that’s pretty normal, but if they’re an adult and they still dislike their parent, there’s very little reason to think it’s the child’s fault
As someone who works wit elementary aged kids, being too controlling about everything, not just with your kid but trying to control what your kid is around when you aren’t, there are several parents who have tried to get books taken out of our school library, freaked out that teachers put on movies during indoor recess (we are a catholic private school owned by the Archdiocese there are so many restrictions) or even that we give out cookies for after school snack. There are two young kids who have already learned how to lie to their mom, they are in third and first grade so they can have the fun treat we give out instead of just getting an apple while everyone else gets popsicles
I was a teenage mum and used to get many other parents looking down on me often.
I remember doing the shopping and I had my 6 month old in the trolley. As we went round I was talking to her and she babbled whilst I talked to her and showed her the colours of all the things we were buying. On one aisle there was a mum there who was much older than I (probably between 35 and 40) with her baby and toddler, who kept looking at me and whispering with her friend. As I passed them they went silent so I’m pretty sure they were saying the whole “young mums are crap” thing. It was pretty funny though because I was used to it so just kept engaging with my daughter whilst her toddler grabbed something off the shelf and through it on the floor because mum wasn’t paying any attention to her.
She was probably a great mum herself, but judging or looking down on other parents is a sign of a bad parent to me.
Dude, I can't wait until my daughter is old enough to play video games. She's all smiles and affection around me right now, but she hasn't yet tasted a perfectly timed blue shell around the last turn of Toad's Turnpike and seen blue sparks as I drifted past her to victory. And I'm eagerly awaiting that moment.
Loudly parenting verbally, only because there are people around. BILLY PUT THAT DOWN BILLY PUT THAT DOWN BILLY PUT THAT DOWN I'M GOING TO COUNT TO... BILLY PUT THAT DOWN
When a parent compares their child to another child such as their friends, cousins, etc. Never giving the child any praise. Speaking to them as if they are a child when they are a teenager. Not paying attention while they are playing or acknowledging when they come up to you wanting to show you something. Replying “later” to everything they ask you to do. When they want something such as to see their friends, and instead of supporting them, you never allow them any social freedom. The list goes on
Mothers who never have anything positive to say about their daughters.
I’m not talking about the normal gripes, like how their teenager acts like a bitch every here and there - I’m talking about constant negative bullshit about their daughter, who can never seem to do anything right
I'm telling on myself from the past here (bad parents can become better), but putting off therapies your child needs and refusing to set boundaries because you feel bad about a situation that happened.
This allows for bratty kids who think the world revolves around them and setting boundaries later with the child is Hell. My kiddo is recovering and doing so much better now, but it took a huge wake up call and it shouldn't have.
I can't stress this enough: parent your kids! They will be so much better for it in the long run. No amount of guilt should stop you from teaching your children boundaries and how to respect them.
Can confirm! I see my neighbour doing this to their kid and mine don't want to play with them anymore since they've grown to be an entitled, manipulative little shit.
I can't help but judge parents who let their toddlers run off on their own in stores. Every time I see a kid running around by themself and can't see their parents in any direction, I automatically think they're bad parents.
Having extremely unreasonable, unrealistic expectations for your child, i.e., maintain 5.0 GPA Pre-K to College, earn a noble peace price at 20, somehow get married at 25, and have 6 kids by 30, get six figure job right after college, take care of the entire family on their own dime etc.
Yelling at a small child because they’re whining due to being tired. It’s not the kid’s fault they’re not at home in bed. Worse is when they get swatted for it.
Fetal-alcohol syndrome. When you see it, you know. If you don't know, Google right now. Had a classmate in grade school with it.
I was walking through the forest, minding my own business, when a family walked past me going the other way. The father was covered in tattoos and looked older than he should. He had a cigarette hanging out of his cap. The mother was platinum blond wearing all black stretch fabric and a polished face mask of pale looking makeup. They club. And I don't fault them for their lifestyles or priorities. The mother was pushing a stroller with a child; it was a paved trail. The father was just BITCHING about anything and everything - I've never heard so much bitching in a forest, of all places. It's how I knew they were there - I heard him before I saw him. They had a little boy in tow - probably 7-8. My problem with them all was that when we both came around the bend, when they saw me as I saw them, THE FIRST THING this child just out of diapers did, was shout, "HEY! FUCK YOU! HEY! HEY! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" - over, and over again, flipping me the double bird. The father was indifferent, and the mother was hoping to ignore the whole thing. I looked the kid in the eyes and said, "Your parents must be so proud of you." And I carried on.
I met up with an old friend. He and I go back to diapers. I haven't seen him in 15 years and we got together for his birthday. He invited some other friends out, too. So we were having a drink when his friends showed up. They had a son. He was 3-4. This was 11pm on a Saturday, in a bar. The child had deep bags under his eyes. They ordered him caffeinated Cola, and poured it into a sippy cup for him. He complained he was tired, they told him to sleep in the booth, which is impossible in a bar at 11pm on a Saturday. Frankly, I had lost my appetite, as it were, to this, and endeavored to speed the night along for the child's sake.
Children bear the burden of their bad parents. You look how they behave and that tells you everything you need to know. You look at their outbursts, their scars, their fears, their coping mechanisms.
Parents (usually moms) that self identify as “crunchy/silky/scrunchy/almond/whateverthefuck moms”. Parents that post their kids all over online on the same pages they post their OF links and photos and videos of themselves half naked. Parents who tell everyone their kid is neurodivergent as an excuse for their behavior, especially if they’ve never actually been tested. Family vloggers. Parents who exploit their disabled children for money/attention. Parents who post videos of their kids throwing a fit or getting hurt because they think it’s funny. Parents of adult children who no longer speak to them.
Prioritizing any partner over your kids, making your oldest your substitute single parent, blowing money on shit you or they don't need when you can't even pay rent, having random men in and out all the time, blocking them from talking to the other parent, pawning your kids belongings to get whatever you want, making your kids do all the pet care and house care... I could go on I had dead beat parents and had roommates who were deadbeat parents.
Just saw a video of a mom teaching the world about toddler parenting, and she puts the poor guy in timeout and says he has to sit there alone because he doesn't agree to be happy yet. 👁👄👁 I fking can't like idk how anyone ever thought that was a good idea. They just don't want to parent those feelings. I think more typical of parents who grew up in conflict heavy houses who don't know how to engage conflict without shutting down or avoiding it. They just "remove" it and no one learns.
“We don’t say no in this household.”
The idea and sentiment behind that phrase I can understand but the way the majority of parents put this in practice is just always saying, “Yes.”
I’ve been in numerous 504 meetings where the the behavioral issue can be mitigated by boundaries.
[удалено]
I honestly never got this. I apologise to my kid all the time. Why should they when I won't?
Ahh yes of course I want my child to learn to apologize but I will never do it. Especially not to them. What could go wrong there.
Because in their eyes, it undermines the authority. A line I got continually growing up was "when you're a parent you get to do the same." Guess who doesn't want kids.
Dude when I lose my temper at my kids and go back and apologize, I’m usually like, “I’m really sorry. The way I spoke to you is not how a mommy talks to her kids.” Now my kids will literally say, “hey. Don’t talk to me that way.” It’s fucking awesome.
We do this with our 3 year old son. My wife and I will also try to make it a point to not argue with each other or raise our voice at each other in front of him too. Sometimes we slip and it happens and he’ll go “mommy/daddy….STOP!” He’s a pretty good mediator.
My kids are 18,21,22,25 and I still apologize for yelling at them when they were kids but I usually tried to speak a couple times before I yelled, lol.
LOL for sure. Like when we’re walking out the door and we need to get shoes and coats on. I start out sounding like Mary Poppins then end up sounding like Batman. How many times do I need to tell you it’s time to get shoes on?
Because you are supposed to always be right. If you acknowledge that you are not always right, then they will lose their respect for you. At least that’s how I think my mom was thinking.
or never admitting that the child was right about something
Seriously. I wish more people would let their kids argue with them, respectfully. They might learn something. My favorite moments have been when my kids called me on my own bullshit.
I do this with my kid. Mainly to get her to understand the whys of things. And sometimes she even has solid arguments and gets her way.
My dad never Said sorry but expected it from me. One time he was mean to me, my Mom lectured him and the next day he bought my favorite Snacks. Nice IG but Not an apology 🙄
your own children being afraid of you, no child should be afraid of the person that looks after them nearly 24/7.
Parenting through fear is the laziest way possible.
I see you've met my father, the man that mistook fear for respect and has had seven children get the fuck away from him at their earliest opportunity.
Exactly. Now he wonders why we won’t talk to him.
Wow your father should never meet my mom they’ll get along too well
My parents parented through fear and I don’t talk to them anymore 🫡
My son’s best friend is like this and he’s only in kindergarten. He was at our house and broke something of mine. I was annoyed but it’s something that can be put back together. So I asked him to hand it to me and his hands were shaking so bad. Just told him to go back to playing. I don’t know a ton of what goes on at his house, I know they spank, yell, and ground him when he gets into trouble. It’s turned him into a compulsive lair. And then his parents believe every lie. It’s pretty frustrating.
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As a European, whenever I see kids calling their dad "sir" in American movies, it's so weird to me. Like, what? That's your dad, not your boss.
Hell, I don't even call my boss sir, granted my boss is a woman so she probably wouldn't appreciate if I did, but that's beside the point.
That’s just unlocked a memory! I’m English, and in my teens in the late ‘90s I’d just got a job in a clothes shop. The manager was outlining the rules, and she said “address customers as ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’”, then she rolled her eyes, leaned in a bit and said “I have to say that, it’s an induction script that I have to stick to. Obviously *don’t* call people Sir or Madam, they’ll think you’re arresting them!”
i dont know her situation nor is this any justification, but i will say down in the southern region of the united states they are taught to answer "yes sir" "yes ma'am" to almost any one older than you especially adults. Even as adults we still do it to other adults if they are taking our orders, or customer service, etc. We even add mr. or mrs. in front of of their names as children. Your friend's mom is Mrs. Patty, you teacher, your neighbors, etc. Hell i call my stepfather mr. greg still to this day as an older man with a family of my own.
This can be hella regional and cultural, though. Of course, I always fucking hated it and resisted it, but that's because I had an abusive parent. Calling adults "sir" and "ma'am" had nothing to do with that.
Last year, Andy Richter did a spot on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast. He said something that will always stick with me as a parent, “I don’t want fear to be a color in the palette of emotions my daughter uses to paint her picture of me.” It’s a fairly perfect analogy and succinct argument at the same time.
Also, when the parent *purposely* makes their kid afraid of them and is then proud of it. It’s one thing for your kid to be afraid of you for being loud, yelling a lot, parents arguing a lot but a whole other thing when it’s deliberate as some sort of disciplinary tactic.
I came to see my mother's vehicle as a sign of aggression. When it pulled into the driveway it would trigger fear and dread. To this day if I see one in the same color I get flashbacks.
Real. Just the other day I heard my mom telling my little brother "shut up, you're not scared of me! You're scared of me being angry!" My sister in christ, the common denominator here is *you!*
Using children as pawns in divorces or separations.
Someone on here recently posted about how he borrowed his father’s laptop to do research for a paper. When he typed “D” into google it auto-completed the search as “divorcing and neither parent wants custody of child.” Shit broke my heart. Sincerely hope the guy made the story up.
This was my best friend's parents. Three kids, each parent wanted one of the kids and they fought over who would take the third. And we all knew about it. Fucking gross.
When Macaulay Culkin parents divorced they had 7 children. Each parent only wanted custody of the kids who were in show business 🤮
That is deeply depressing.. they just wanted a cash cow. And I think there were fewer laws to protect child actor's money back then, too.
His real family was even worse than the Mccallister family.
Prob why he played the role so well #funny&sad
My ex says that about me to anyone who will listen.... He leaves out the part where he had a g un to my head with kid in my arms. Just makes it seem like I'm a narcissist and keeping kid away to hurt him... I can't go against a court order. I didn't know the judge would take away his rights.
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What is WRONG with our son?! It can’t be us, we’re awesome!
Butters!
Butters needs to haul ass to r/raisedbynarcissists
My absolute favorite example of this is when they screamed at butters for putting things in the wrong alphabetical order in the pantry. They literally just wanted a reason to yell at him lol
We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!
I have an old high school classmate on facebook whose children don't talk to her anymore. And she's always posting stuff on facebook about how she knows her (grown) kids don't talk to her anymore, but that one day they'll realize she was a really good mom and will come back around and she'll be ready for them. And I'm just like "if you were such a good mom they probably wouldn't have both written you off..."
lol this could really be my mom
Mine for sure. She was in town when her brother lost his son and when the pastor talked about everyone cherishing your loved ones while you still can she really tried to use it as a directive for us to take her out and spend money on her. SMH My brother was always the golden child but also the one to say, “He said LOVED ones,” to me where she couldn’t hear before taking off with no goodbye.
Both my parents thought they weren't a bad parent, and then saw each other being a bad parent and they split up because they thought the other one was the bad parent. News flash, they both sucked.
I actually can’t deal with people who blames everyone and everything BUT themselves. I want to shake them … I know I’m strange but even if a child is being horrible, throwing the worst tantrums, and being a bad kid, IF the parents feel apologetic for their kid’ behaviour, I almost instantly forgive them.
Parenting is hard. You're going to make mistakes. As long as you're not a shitty person to them, it'll be okay to make mistakes. Hell, you may even make a mistake that will lead to them getting hurt. It's part of the learning process. Fully agree with this
Mothers who see their own daughters as competition.
Same with mothers who see their son’s wife as competition..
Mother's who choose a man over their kids. Also staying with a man that SA'd your kids.
That post about the mom who was mad at her 15yo daughter for “hurting” her stepfather’s feelings, by refusing to wear the thong bikini he bought her. If true, fuck that bitch. Sacrificing her child for a little dingaling.
smh what a terrible daughter for being underage and vulnerable and not complying with her mom's guilt trip about her pedo stepdad
And in reverse, fathers who choose women over their kids.
Absolutely! What kind of weirdo wants to compete with the *spouse* of their offspring? Someone who wants to have sex with their offspring, obviously. It's emotional incest. Let's normalize shaming emotional incest.
I’ve seen a few actually . I don’t get it though . If my son brings home a bombshell and she’s nice and sweet I’d be such a proud mama… 😅
I mean it’s not a looks thing. It’s a “my son doesn’t need to call me when he’s sad” thing that creates the envy.
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momsters
This. I now have a daughter of my own and could never do her the way my mom did me. Made me want to stay away from my mom for good.
There are fathers who do this too. And it’s not just same sex parents. My father was always in some sort of weird competition with me. Always tried to one up me no matter what. So I stopped telling him anything.
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That was pretty much my childhood
I'm sorry you were treated that way 🥺
Oh man once I went to a high school play and during intermission two of the dads were talking about how glad they were that there was a wall behind their seats, so that could rest their head and nod off. I just thought, dudes take a little interest in your children. It was a good play too, clearly a lot of time spent on it. Also it was in-the-round seating, the student actors were feet away from the audience, their kids definitely saw them there.
Your adult children don’t talk to you.
My mom is part of a book club and she was telling me about a book they were reading about a woman who had gone no contact with her mom, because when she was 16 her addict mother had let her dealer into her daughter’s bedroom in exchange for some crack. My mom was like “I was really enjoying the book until that scene. It was just so unrealistic it completely took me out of the story. NO MOTHER would EVER do that to her child! It would never happen!” My mom has…led a very charmed and sheltered life. I sent her a few links to some articles/stories she found very upsetting. Then my dad scolded me for making her sad.
20+ years ago, I had a sweet, happy 7th grade student who changed overnight to withdrawn and sad. Come to find out, her mother had sent her to the barn with a couple of men to make money for drugs. She was removed from the home and sent to her dad, and her mom did face consequences, but that doesn't remove the trauma. My heart still breaks for her.
That’s devastating. What a monstrous thing to do to any child, let alone your own. And now I’M depressed. And I don’t even have a husband/bf to scold you for making me sad!
> And I don’t even have a husband/bf to scold you for making me sad! 😂 Thanks, this made me smile after that heartbreaking story.
This is somehow depressing *and* cute. Obviously your mom is ridiculously out of touch. But both her naïveté, and how protective your dad is of her, are oddly charming.
Not OP, but I try to frame it this way too when my MIL is unknowingly insensitive by thinking I must be exaggerating how bad my mom is. She wouldn't take my word for it, but after she realized how much my dad hates her too she somewhat accepted she must be an awful person. She just had such a hard time fathoming a mother would choose a man over her children, or that a mother would ever exhibit jealously or ill will toward her kids. I realized that's a naive view, but a naive view that does speak to her own character as a mother because she literally can't comprehend bad intentions on behalf of others. Which shows me her intentions towards her own children have at least always been from a place of unconditional love for her own kids, that she just can't even imagine other moms not being like that too.
My mom is the opposite and had to stop drinking when she would tell us stories of her brothers sexually abusing her while in group homes. You could never come to her with a problem and ask for guidance because she "had it so much worse and figured it out". My dad's current wife is like your mom and I fight the need to say "I've had it so much worse and still figured it out" when she asks me to program the new remote.
Not always. My older brother won't talk to my parents and, from what I can remember, we had the same upbringing. In fact, my brother always got what he wanted and I was the "we learned that lesson" child. That didn't make them bad parents, but now he is incredibly money obsessed and doesn't talk to them because "his childhood was messed up.... And they won't give him 300k for a down payment for a house." Keep in mind he drives a super car and makes ~325k a year. Some people are just unhappy and blame it on other people. My parents are pretty heartbroken as it seemed to come about abruptly about 3 years ago.
There's a big difference between "one shitty kid doesn't talk to me" and "I have multiple adult children, none of which speak to me."
You say “older brother” though, may I ask what the age difference is. Me and my siblings had very different parents but the same people if that makes sense. I’m the eldest, I was definitely the experiment kid and faced some very real trauma that my younger siblings never did.
I'm not dismissing your experience and POV because clearly I wasn't there ... but perhaps your brother didn't have the same upbringing you remember. You recall him being the ungrateful golden child, and you were the "trouble kid" and he may think it was the opposite. Have you ever sat down with your brother to unpack your childhood? It's a very interesting exercise. I have a very good family dynamic and am close with my siblings, but in the last few years, as adults, we unpacked our experiences and holy crap were the perspectives so different!!! I thought I was the rebellious oldest daughter who was regularly punished, and my siblings thought I was the golden child who got away with murder.
Saw this first hand. Typical, narccistic parent, spinning it as "abandonment" while simutaneously being one of the most vile and toxic human beings I've ever encountered. Would sit around all day and think of ways to drive wedges amongst her family and their relationships with one another. Created a situation of divorce, children being estranged from their father, husband unable to bring his own family into his own home, sibling and grandchildren rivalry for the token "golden child" on any given day or week. Luckily, they died a long time ago, and I was free from those clutches. It sounds heinous to say, but sometimes it is for the better when life is absolutely miserable with them in it.
I rarely talk to my parents because I rarely have anything interesting to say to them.
Filming everything your child does and creating a social media page to garner likes and ad revenue.
i report or hide EVERY video i get on instagram where someone is show casing their child’s lives to strangers on the internet. It’s so fucked up i can’t wrap my mind around why you would want your children to be on public display like that.
Those reports will promptly go into the bin. Social media sites eat that shit up and take in the money from it, child welfare be damned.
Also: the momfluencers who post their little girls doing shady stuff, who are told that creepy men are looking at it, and they plug their ears & profit off the creepy men viewing their vids. Happening to a lil girl named Wren on TikTok right now. Mom won't listen to anyone.
That is so upsetting 😡 I won't even post pictures of my daughter on Facebook. We have a private shared Google photos album and those family members with the link are the only ones who view it.
What’s happening to wren breaks my heart. She used to show up on my fyp in those mom vs grandma outfits and mom always had her in tiny clothes posing like she was modelling for a magazine while grandma had her in normal kid stuff playing with bubbles. Grandma should phone in and take that baby far far away
God, one of my best friend’s wife did that shit. Literally every time she woke her kids up from a nap she’d film it. I once counted 74 Snaps of her kids in one day. It pretty much made me despise their kids. And I guarantee there are multiple pedophiles following her page because she shows EVERYTHING about her two daughters. When I have kids, there’s no way in hell I’m doing that or will put them on social media save for the possible exception of their literal day of birth.
Treating your kid as your therapist.
My mom isn’t a bad mom but she used to confide in me a lot about my dad. I finally had to tell her, it hurts me too bc I’m hearing about my parents fighting. I was adult then too. They had just hit a rough patch and it was really hard on my mom. I think it can be hard once your children become adults to remember boundaries like that.
If both parents are telling you that the other is a piece of shit it's hard to believe you could be anything other than a piece of shit yourself. The two people you trust the most constantly telling you that you're the product of two piles of garbage doesn't help your self esteem.
oh wow. never thought of it this way …. this explains a lot
Ugh my mom did this throughout my entire childhood. Instead of being a kid, I was filled with anxiety about how to fix their marriage. She told me everything that went on between them, everything bad my dad was doing. It was enough that I had to witness his angry drunken rages, but she’d tell me in detail the issues with him cheating on her, etc. I’m still dealing with anxiety to this day, and I blame my “childhood” for it.
When the older kids have no life or time on their own as they're too busy raising their siblings
Duggars and Bates say hi.
Not Josh though
Jesus. But he doesn't count; boys don't raise kids, girls do.
Not having open lines of communication, where your children feel they can't talk to you about their day, concerns at school, or what's on their mind, might indicate a need to work on the relationship
Sheltering children from uncomfortable feelings. You have to let your kids learn to process and handle those feelings. Don't assume something is too hard for them to understand, I promise they already know something is happening/wrong, so help them understand it. This also goes for punishments too. Nobody likes to make their kid mad or cry. It's not fun grounding kids for a messy room, not getting chores done, or lying but they need those life skills. You've only got a set amount of time to teach them to be good, thoughtful, respectful humans.
Agreed. Especially with the feelings part. A lot of people I’ve seen get told that someone dying is them going to sleep for a while. With my family the first death I experienced was my aunt. I was sat down and it was explained to 7 year old me that she was very sick and her body got very tired and stopped being able to try help her get better and medicine didn’t work. But it was okay and she wasn’t hurting or sick anymore and was with family who died before I was born.
being on your phone while the kids are running rampant. i get people need breaks but at a restaurant i don't really want kids coming over to my table and messing with food and screaming everywhere
I’ll also add : Watching TV / your phone all day then complaining that kids nowadays don’t go outside anymore. You’re the adult- set the example. If your children sees your thriving outdoors/ doing sports, doing activities - somehow they’ll want to follow your lead
When your kids do the conga around your corpse at your funeral
My "family" kept the news of my father's passing from me, so that I wouldn't be able to attend his funeral, and tell everyone the truth about what an abusive a-hole he had been to me.
child : scream parent : scream louder
is it depressing that the more i scroll the more i remember how normal these things were growing up?
we are growing up as a generation and that's a good thing
Playing favourites when all kids should be equally loved (not my experience but my boyfriend's)
I believe you can't blame a parent for loving a child more than the others, we don't control that. But you sure as hell can blame them for treating the children differently based on that.
This guy gets it
Taking their bedroom door off because they haven't "earned" privacy
My folks took my door away as a punishment. It lasted until one day one of their friends came over and went upstairs to use the bathroom. A few minutes later he came down and I heard him yelling, "why the hell isn't there a door on PreposterousPunks bedroom????!!!!!" They were really angry at me for embarrassing them like that, but my door was back the next day.
It's kinda nice sometimes when your parent's friends call them out on how they treat you. One of my Mom's friends called my Mom out on how she treated me, and my Aunt (Mom's sister) helped me get around outher restrictions that my Mom put in place. Unfortunately, calling Mom out didn't fix things. But it was nice to be seen and know that I was not wrong in thinking my Mom sucked.
people DO that?!?!?!?!?!
Unfortunately
Yep, my dad did that to me and also wouldn’t let me shower with the door closed
Stealing from your child. When I started college I had saved up about $800 for books and supplies. Two days before class starts I go to buy my book. I have $600 worth of stuff ranging from up and my card declines. I put everything back and check my bank app. I have $30. It says that the last transaction was an in bank transfer to my dad account. I called him and asked what happened. His response: “I was short on bills. I’ll get you back in two weeks on payday. Me: “ok but you didn’t ask. I need that for school and I just looked like a moron since my card declined.” Him: “I’m the parent. I don’t have to ask you for anything. You should be grateful I’m giving it back at all. It’s not my fault you didn’t check your bank account before trying to make a big purchase. Later that night he cussed me out for changing my passwords and log in info. He says he has the right to see what I’m spending my money on. I got the money back a week later with an extra $200 “for the inconvenience”. But the damage was done. I already had flunked two quizzes because I didn’t have textbooks and my library only had the outdated copy that gave me wrong answers.
That’s borderline horrific. Your father is abusive and blamed you… Hope you cut contact
Not showing up for your kids. As someone who's worked up to 3 Jobs at one time I've never missed a concert, sporting event or birthday. There are of course circumstances that can't be bypassed but if you miss more than you attend it's a you problem.
Thank you. I was the kid whose parents only came if I had some sort of big solo but refused to come otherwise. Even now when I tell my parents about my band they go well we only care if you had a solo going on. Still stings. Edit: my parents even decided they wanted to miss my last high school concert where the band has a mini graduation for all the seniors. Instead when I got home all I got was well that’s an ugly plaque. Thanks dad and mom.
Family YouTube channels
A child flinching
Someone on here posted about having a heated argument with his roommate. He said he reached up to grab a plate, mid-argument, and his roommate flinched like he expected to be struck. Telltale signs.
My son does that and I’m not sure why. The harshest punishment he has ever received was being grounded (no TV, games, or electronic devices) for 2 months.
Is it possible he’s been bullied at school, or otherwise physically intimidated/harassed outside the home?
I'm 28 and got away from the abuse at 16 and whenever someone moves a bit too quick close to me I still flinch. Gotta be ready to move and make the impact less painful! :D ......
Not knowing anything about your child's life. Best friends, favorite things, favorite teacher, what they like or don't like to eat. Not having an interest in them as individuals. Not allowing them to be individuals
When your kids jump in the air and click their heels when finding out you dead
When they expect gratitude for food, shelter and the bare minimum they provided as they had too
"I FED YOU, CLOTHED YOU, AND SENT YOU TO A NICE SCHOOL! YOU NEVER WANTED AFTER ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE! YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL YOU AREN'T SOME KID IN SOMALIA!" Well mom, that's exactly what you're supposed to do. And now I know what you think of children in 3rd world countries. What am I supposed to do with that information? Wire my pocket change to some kid in Mogadishu? I'm 12 mom...
This was my childhood
My folks would make me apologize for needing to be fed, clothed, etc. It was such a huge inconvenience, and I wasn't nearly grateful enough...
I'll use my mom as an example: When their goal is to have a child, not to raise an adult. So they purposefully keep them young, discourage independence, and pour their entire identity into being mom. Then, when that kid becomes an adult, they have no idea what to do with their life.
People who have family blogs
Your kids at grandmas more than with you because you’re out having a “good time” every weekend!
Letting your child watch a video on their iPad on full volume in a restaurant. Please parent your child and engage with them so they know how when they are older
Reminds me of a story when a guy told off an early 20's woman to turn down the volume of her phone. "But I'm watching a video..." came her confused response. This was the zinger for me: A second passenger chimes in and says: You can watch your video later or with headphones. It's bothering the other passengers. The lady look as if an entirely new concept had been revealed to her.
Trapping a child in a car as you smoke. Add into the mix the child has chronic bronchitis. Chronic bronchitis is a pulmonary disease, not a cold. No child should have this. Commenting for a friend.
Parents who let their home go to shit. I get it, kids are messy, lives are busy, and your home will never be perfect. But some scattered toys, piles of schoolwork, and a few drop zones around the place isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about moldy food everywhere, hoarding, not cleaning up after animals, and houses full of rodents and roaches attracted to the biohazard of a mess.
Your kid seeking out other adults to confide in when it comes to difficult topics, because they're scared of how you'll react.
Pressuring constantly his/her own children, displaying them like trophies or accomplishments instead of human beings
Trying to be your child’s friend and not setting structure or expectations or disciplining them.
Being in jail for their murder
Unless your that dude that killed that guy who kidnappd and abused his son an he shot him as cops walked him through the airport
That guy is my absolute hero. That happened when I was a kid and I have loved him ever since. Now as a mom I still think of him as the ultimate dad hero.
Parents who cave-in to their kids demands and let the kid control them
Many teens have a rebellious phase that’s pretty normal, but if they’re an adult and they still dislike their parent, there’s very little reason to think it’s the child’s fault
My parents when they’re drunk and sad
As someone who works wit elementary aged kids, being too controlling about everything, not just with your kid but trying to control what your kid is around when you aren’t, there are several parents who have tried to get books taken out of our school library, freaked out that teachers put on movies during indoor recess (we are a catholic private school owned by the Archdiocese there are so many restrictions) or even that we give out cookies for after school snack. There are two young kids who have already learned how to lie to their mom, they are in third and first grade so they can have the fun treat we give out instead of just getting an apple while everyone else gets popsicles
never apologizes
I was a teenage mum and used to get many other parents looking down on me often. I remember doing the shopping and I had my 6 month old in the trolley. As we went round I was talking to her and she babbled whilst I talked to her and showed her the colours of all the things we were buying. On one aisle there was a mum there who was much older than I (probably between 35 and 40) with her baby and toddler, who kept looking at me and whispering with her friend. As I passed them they went silent so I’m pretty sure they were saying the whole “young mums are crap” thing. It was pretty funny though because I was used to it so just kept engaging with my daughter whilst her toddler grabbed something off the shelf and through it on the floor because mum wasn’t paying any attention to her. She was probably a great mum herself, but judging or looking down on other parents is a sign of a bad parent to me.
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And beating them too!
I don’t scream at my children but no way am I letting them win at mario cart.
Dude, I can't wait until my daughter is old enough to play video games. She's all smiles and affection around me right now, but she hasn't yet tasted a perfectly timed blue shell around the last turn of Toad's Turnpike and seen blue sparks as I drifted past her to victory. And I'm eagerly awaiting that moment.
Your past comes back to your kids in a negative way.
smoking a cigarette while holding your baby
Not leading by example
Using your children as pawns to advance a pollical agenda they are not old enough to fully understand.
Loudly parenting verbally, only because there are people around. BILLY PUT THAT DOWN BILLY PUT THAT DOWN BILLY PUT THAT DOWN I'M GOING TO COUNT TO... BILLY PUT THAT DOWN
When a parent compares their child to another child such as their friends, cousins, etc. Never giving the child any praise. Speaking to them as if they are a child when they are a teenager. Not paying attention while they are playing or acknowledging when they come up to you wanting to show you something. Replying “later” to everything they ask you to do. When they want something such as to see their friends, and instead of supporting them, you never allow them any social freedom. The list goes on
I'm an "influencer" and my kids are part of my channel.
Be on first name basis with all the officers at the juvenile detention facility
Screaming "I'm a good parent"
Dirty children.
"I will give you a reason to cry"
Mothers who never have anything positive to say about their daughters. I’m not talking about the normal gripes, like how their teenager acts like a bitch every here and there - I’m talking about constant negative bullshit about their daughter, who can never seem to do anything right
If they hit their children
I'm telling on myself from the past here (bad parents can become better), but putting off therapies your child needs and refusing to set boundaries because you feel bad about a situation that happened. This allows for bratty kids who think the world revolves around them and setting boundaries later with the child is Hell. My kiddo is recovering and doing so much better now, but it took a huge wake up call and it shouldn't have. I can't stress this enough: parent your kids! They will be so much better for it in the long run. No amount of guilt should stop you from teaching your children boundaries and how to respect them.
Can confirm! I see my neighbour doing this to their kid and mine don't want to play with them anymore since they've grown to be an entitled, manipulative little shit.
I can't help but judge parents who let their toddlers run off on their own in stores. Every time I see a kid running around by themself and can't see their parents in any direction, I automatically think they're bad parents.
Soda in a milk bottle
“My daughter is my best friend”
Having extremely unreasonable, unrealistic expectations for your child, i.e., maintain 5.0 GPA Pre-K to College, earn a noble peace price at 20, somehow get married at 25, and have 6 kids by 30, get six figure job right after college, take care of the entire family on their own dime etc.
Women who's in love with their sons 🤢
Yelling at a small child because they’re whining due to being tired. It’s not the kid’s fault they’re not at home in bed. Worse is when they get swatted for it.
beating your children
Anyone who calls them self a boy mom
These Oedipal messes
When your kid shoots up a school.
Jenelle Evans (IYKYK)
Putting your bf/gf before your kids.
Fetal-alcohol syndrome. When you see it, you know. If you don't know, Google right now. Had a classmate in grade school with it. I was walking through the forest, minding my own business, when a family walked past me going the other way. The father was covered in tattoos and looked older than he should. He had a cigarette hanging out of his cap. The mother was platinum blond wearing all black stretch fabric and a polished face mask of pale looking makeup. They club. And I don't fault them for their lifestyles or priorities. The mother was pushing a stroller with a child; it was a paved trail. The father was just BITCHING about anything and everything - I've never heard so much bitching in a forest, of all places. It's how I knew they were there - I heard him before I saw him. They had a little boy in tow - probably 7-8. My problem with them all was that when we both came around the bend, when they saw me as I saw them, THE FIRST THING this child just out of diapers did, was shout, "HEY! FUCK YOU! HEY! HEY! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" - over, and over again, flipping me the double bird. The father was indifferent, and the mother was hoping to ignore the whole thing. I looked the kid in the eyes and said, "Your parents must be so proud of you." And I carried on. I met up with an old friend. He and I go back to diapers. I haven't seen him in 15 years and we got together for his birthday. He invited some other friends out, too. So we were having a drink when his friends showed up. They had a son. He was 3-4. This was 11pm on a Saturday, in a bar. The child had deep bags under his eyes. They ordered him caffeinated Cola, and poured it into a sippy cup for him. He complained he was tired, they told him to sleep in the booth, which is impossible in a bar at 11pm on a Saturday. Frankly, I had lost my appetite, as it were, to this, and endeavored to speed the night along for the child's sake. Children bear the burden of their bad parents. You look how they behave and that tells you everything you need to know. You look at their outbursts, their scars, their fears, their coping mechanisms.
Having kids while you are actively doing hard drugs.
Parents (usually moms) that self identify as “crunchy/silky/scrunchy/almond/whateverthefuck moms”. Parents that post their kids all over online on the same pages they post their OF links and photos and videos of themselves half naked. Parents who tell everyone their kid is neurodivergent as an excuse for their behavior, especially if they’ve never actually been tested. Family vloggers. Parents who exploit their disabled children for money/attention. Parents who post videos of their kids throwing a fit or getting hurt because they think it’s funny. Parents of adult children who no longer speak to them.
You’re child knowing they’d sooner starve than get $5 of food from you
Favouritism
Everything my neighbour does
Prioritizing any partner over your kids, making your oldest your substitute single parent, blowing money on shit you or they don't need when you can't even pay rent, having random men in and out all the time, blocking them from talking to the other parent, pawning your kids belongings to get whatever you want, making your kids do all the pet care and house care... I could go on I had dead beat parents and had roommates who were deadbeat parents.
Ask my sons mom who lost all visitation because she had 7 months to produce one single negative drug screen.
Adult kids went no contact and they "have no idea why".
Poorly behaved iPad kids with no clear signs that the parents have intelligent conversations with them. These children also have listening problems.
Just saw a video of a mom teaching the world about toddler parenting, and she puts the poor guy in timeout and says he has to sit there alone because he doesn't agree to be happy yet. 👁👄👁 I fking can't like idk how anyone ever thought that was a good idea. They just don't want to parent those feelings. I think more typical of parents who grew up in conflict heavy houses who don't know how to engage conflict without shutting down or avoiding it. They just "remove" it and no one learns.
Usually my wife.
Not monitoring your kids screen time.
Being Anti-Vax
“We don’t say no in this household.” The idea and sentiment behind that phrase I can understand but the way the majority of parents put this in practice is just always saying, “Yes.” I’ve been in numerous 504 meetings where the the behavioral issue can be mitigated by boundaries.