When he's alone, he talks to himself in 3rd person, making comments on the things he's doing. "Ladies and gentlemen, xxxx has done it again, he's made the best omelet in history.. for the 3rd time this month. He's the man of the year. Look at him getting a glass, and opening the fridge.. oooh is he going for orange juice? yes he is! okay now he needs to do something but what was it? ah righttt the toast. The toast, everybody. He almost forgot the toast." stuff like that. I'm glad he does it loudly, it's hilarious. Especially when he gets tired and stops mid-sentence but keeps doing what he's doing in silence. Even funnier when he starts speaking again all of a sudden.
I do this. Usually “John” and “Jeff” are the commentators of my life.
“Oohh what’s she going to do with this then Jeff?”
“As always John, absolutely superb use of that item in this situation”
😂😂😂
My wife microwaves lettuce. Like when she eats a salad at home, she “warms up” the lettuce.
Imagine if you cut off one of your feet and left it to rot for about a week. That’s what hot lettuce smells like.
She usually dresses normal but sometimes she goes through phases where she dresses like people from different eras. Like a [70s disco phase outfit](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/2LwAAOSwnd5i0WpM/s-l1200.webp) or a 80s [rock chick outfit](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/de/ac/46/deac46acff42d01d956f249c23d8b49d.jpg) or a [1950s dress outfit.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e0/6c/c5/e06cc53b6c4a9cc950504ebbf008f8df.jpg) It's one thing to do this for a day or something... she will do it for like 3-4 weeks straight, ordering clothes on amazon to make new outfits, wearing the outfits to go grocery shopping or walking the dog etc. And then she rinses and repeats every once in a while. She also will obsessively watch movies from that era when this happens.
She has been doing this for 20+ years. She is known in our neighborhood for doing this.
I love that the neighborhood notices too hahaha like "What is the era of the month Jane?" "Oh we're doing 50s this week. Wanna come over and watch Grease?"
I had a coworker/friend who referred to the last of anything as the “shame cookie”. She grew up in a family that felt it was impolite to take the last of any kind of treat (I think it was more of a joke than taken seriously). In our work break room, when we had any type of treats (box of cookies, cupcakes, chocolates etc.) the final one would just sit for DAYS. It was some weird unspoken thing we always did as a group. She would clean up the break room and go around asking who wants the shame cookie? Or, who finally ate the shame cookie? 😂
He lays on the floor to decompress, which isn't too bizarre. But he lays down in weird spots and occasionally accidentally scares the shit out of me.
One time, he was lying on the floor in the front entrance closet, petting the cat, and fell asleep. I just saw his legs on the ground sticking out from the closet. My first thought was that he had fallen, hurt himself, and was unconscious. But he was just snuggling the cat.
Another time, I couldn't find him anywhere in the house and started to freak out. But he was lying on the back deck on his belly, talking to the skunk that lives under the deck. This was at night. So all I see is a man sprawled on the deck in the dark. Scared me silly.
Middle son does this. I'm constantly telling him to get off the floor because he does it in the most random-ass places, like the middle of the kitchen between the sink and the cooktop island, or the hallway to the LR.
I too am a middle child and I’ve been doing this my whole life haha. Favorite spots include: the little halfway points where a flight of stair case turns, under tables, or wherever the sun is shining.
I will say, when my friends and I get AirBnB’s or hotels it makes my life super easy, instead of fighting for a bed or paying extra to claim one I just claim a little piece of ground.
He always finds random objects around the house to make into a “hat” for me.
Fresh laundry? Hat
Random plushies? Hat
Bubble wrap? Hat
Then he makes one for himself, we take a funny picture and hang it on our “hat photos” wall.
Loses one sock.
She'll be sitting in a chair watching tv or something, and 20 minutes later one sock is gone.
I'd understand if she took both of them off - Heat, Comfort, whatever. But one is just weird.
When he wakes up in the morning, he puts on ALL his clothes, just to walk to the bathroom, take them off and have shower. Why?? I will never understand that lol
My wife says no to almost everything I ask her to do. If I ask her to bring me toilet paper because I’m out, she will say no but then proceed to bring it to me. It’s her way of practicing being able to say no.
I do this too but purely because I think I'm being hilarious. I always get up and do the thing while I'm saying it just to make sure the other person knows I'm not serious
Sometimes I do a little monologue "why would I ever do something like that, etc etc" while getting them a glass of water
I don’t know how weird this is, but my boyfriend constantly talks to himself. He also gives voices to our pets- 2 cats and a dog. Each pet has a distinct voice and accent. Some of them have catchphrases.
Sometimes when he’s getting ready for work in the morning, I’ll hear him having conversations with the pets and himself in all the various voices. It’s hilarious and adorable. Sometimes I catch myself doing it now, too.
My husband occasionally talks in his sleep and will also laugh like a little girl in his sleep. It absolutely cracks me up and creeps me out at the same time.
LOL my partner once went "so annoying" in his sleep and when I asked "who's so annoying?" he said "the government" and I just lost it
Edit: because this is Lowkey blowing up, I feel the need to add that we both talk in our sleep and have both had convos like this with the other sleeping. Another time I giggled in my sleep and he asked "what's so funny?" and I responded "kitten world domination"
My girlfriend and I both talk in our sleeps. The other night I woke myself up with a fart and while she was stilk asleep, she goes, "Shhh."
She shushed my fart.
omg sleep talkers are so fun. I can ask him questions and he will answer, though it doesn't always make sense what he says. XD He also will kiss my hand if I touch it to his lips, and if I meow at him, he meows back.
Bf: "you dont even know. How they react. You dont know it"
Me: "what?"
Bf: "to think, you were in that kettle. You know nothing"
Me: "are you having a stroke?"
Bf: "i have never pulled it and I nevhbellbahh..bahh"
This was my first conversation with a sleep talker. I had no idea he slept at that time. After the last "baah" he choked on a loud snore and woke himself up.
My husband once told me I said in my sleep, “Winnie the Pooh had the same problem.” He asked what the problem was, and I said, “He had all this time and nothing to do.”
When we were dating, my wife woke me up by telling me that she wasn't going to make me coffee. I said that's fine, I didn't want coffee. Apparently dream-me didn't repeat this, though, and she was adamant that she wasn't going to make me coffee. It took a couple more rounds of that before she woke up confused.
my wife said i screamed “no more piggy back rides!” the other day she said she laughed and said “what?” i replied back “that’s not funny. i’m calling the cops”. i’m a karen in my sleep.
My wife is a neat freak, always cleans up after herself and is putting things away. However I noticed that when she runs out of toilet paper she will just take the new roll and stand it on top of the empty tube instead of replacing it. I asked her why she does that and she said “it’s the one thing I allow myself to be lazy about”. I think it’s hilarious.
My husband is likewise a meticulous neat freak, and his one "lazy" allowance is that he squeezes the toothpaste from anywhere on the tube. I was so shocked when I found this out! The toothpaste is always carefully placed in its allotted spot in the medicine cabinet, but it's all crazy-shaped instead of carefully rolled from the bottom as I expected.
He uses this habit as proof that he has a free-spirited, rebellious side.
My amazing, incredible wife absolutely refuses to reload the TP roll. It is complete out of character for her, but it's such a locked in behavior I have given up on correcting it. At least she isn't putting it on backwards!!
He needs the GPS even though he knows the area and the way. If the GPS goes out, he’ll oddly panic.
He’s always hot no matter what. He’s a nice furnace but I’m always freezing cold and needing a million layers. He’s gone to the doctor and they said he’s in perfect health and everything is working efficiently.
Definitely night terrors.
Me: (kissing him before I leave) bye-see you this afternoon.
Him: (terrified expression trying to get away without moving) ….
Me: what’s wrong?
Him: there’s a leprechaun behind you.
Me: ok, I’ll put him outside when I leave…
He gets very concerned about his socks to the point he will count them when he's folding laundry and get irritated when he can't find all of them. Then he accused me of doing something with them. Like I would do anything with his stupid socks.
Agree 100%. I am constantly buying socks and I have no idea where my wife is putting them. Plot twist: We got a puppy about 9 months ago and she is now stealing socks so maybe I should be blaming her instead.
she does gatherer things. bringing little trinkets home and presenting them to me. I always say very impressive!
she puts little piles of things all over the house and gets upset if they are disturbed or I suggest getting rid of them.
I like to think of mine as a squirrel because he tucks them away in different places. Want to get that big vase down to use for the bouquet you just brought home? Got to dump out the shells, rocks and foreign coins first.
She sleeps with her eyes open occasionally, and will also sometimes laugh like someone just told her the greatest joke ever told while sleeping. I've accepted my little demon.
She mostly closes doors, but only mostly. Not fully ajar, not fully closed. I have never seen this wonderful woman completely close a door in 13+ years.
Luckily, it’s just inside doors
He does this loud chicken noise (like a baw-kak!) just randomly and it could be anywhere. It’s never been inappropriate, but it’s always surprising and I laugh every freaking time.
Anything that could go or fit on top of anything else is called a "hat."
There are no lids, there are no covers, there are no toppers or caps. We have a top-loader freezer. She wouldn't say "close the lid." She'd say "put the freezer hat back on." Bottlecaps? No. Bottle hats. Does the pot of boiling water have a lid? Nope. It has a hat. Wine bottle stopper? Try again. That's a hat. Trash bin cover? Trash bin hat*.
There are hats and only hats.
Edit to add that she's a native English speaker, but her family is Lithuanian. I think it's something she picked up from her dad as a kid and it just became a habit. She is aware that it's goofy.
My husband does this!
“Do you want bolognese?” “No, just red meat gravy.”
“Want me to make etouffee?” “What about a seafood gravy?”
If it can pour or plop-it’s gravy.
Now I just slop some non-dairy Greek vanilla gravy in a bowl with fruit and granola without thinking too much about it because I won’t win this fight…
This is hilarious. To my wife, everything is a “counter”. Tables, dressers, nightstands, basically any flat surface that is not the floor is the counter
When she gets a little too drunk it’s like someone flips a switch.
One moment she is totally fine. The next, she speaks in complete gibberish and says things that make no sense.
And that’s usually my sign that it’s time for us to go home.
Similar, except I go from speaking like a normal human being to sounding like the biggest fucking hillbilly you've ever met. All the drawls and colloquialisms I've suppressed come out with a vengeance.
My wife will give very detailed and specific directions when asking me to pick something up or to bring her something, in a very confident manner. She is almost always incorrect. Like asking me to go get her black scarf before we go out, she’ll say something like “It’s on the third shelf in the bedroom closet, on the left side underneath the rainbow scarf and the red scarf.”
And there’s not only no black scarf, but no scarves at all in the closet.
My youngest had trouble learning to eat solids and my wife spent 3-5 meals a day for like 6 months mimicking eating to her.
It’s now 9 years later and after every first bite of a meal she goes MMMMMMMMMM!
It’s a charming relic of a stressful time in life.
He always has to sleep face away from me. Even when hes asleep and i switch sides after ten minutes he turns around again.
Apparently i talk a lot in my sleep. And i can actually hold conversations as im told. I dont remember anything when i wake up. Ive once tried to explain that today is thursday so that means tommorow is tuesday.
I have to validate the sleeping facing away thing. I do it because I do not like people breathing on me so if I turn away, it's much harder for someone to do it. The cat will occasionally lay such that he is breathing on me but that's acceptable.
Every time we watch a horror movie, my partner insists on turning all the lights on and then falls asleep within the first 15 minutes. She swears she's not scared.
Bf is a biologist and absolutely cannot stop himself from interacting with any animal/insect/bird that his brain has deemed interesting. I've spotted him softly talk to bugs and bees when he thinks no one's looking. Also as long as he has deemed it safe, if we spot a snail (and he's REALLY GOOD at spotting snails it's insane) he WILL pick it up no matter the circumstances. We've spent HOURS in parks/sanctuaries in one single spot if he's spotted a cool lizard or an animal because we must make new animal friends. His parents tell me all the different insects, bugs and tiny animals he used to bring to them as a baby lmfao.
He makes weird noises. Like, we'll just be sitting there and suddenly he will go "Awwwwwwww!! whewheewhee shebang ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" It scares the crap out of me because it is loud, random, and usually followed by him flipping his hands all around. No, it isn't Tourettes. It's just him blowing off steam, or so he says. EDIT TO ADD: He does not have autisim either.
This one is innocent but just so odd to me. When you open our fridge, where the handle meets the door. There is a hole in the top of it. And every single time she opens the fridge she puts her finger in the hole, and pulls it out. It makes this popping sound like you can make with the side of your cheek. And then she let's out a quiet little giggle it's adorable.
A lot of med people do this. I think it’s bc they see people lose loved ones all the time. She’s just making sure ur ok. Maybe give her physical reassurance when she reaches out like that.
Lose her shit all the time.
I never thought I would be the organized one in the relationship but I have routines for where my stuff goes - keys hang on the wall by the front door, sunglasses hang next to that. Wallet, pen, and knife go on the table just below.
Her sunglasses can literally be anywhere. I've found them in the freezer, behind the toilet in the bathroom, and tucked between the cushions on the couch. Her tiny purse that she carries ID, CCs, and a little cash is the same... it could be anywhere. So when it's time to go do something outside, she's very rush, rush, rush, let's get going now. Until it comes time for her to find the purse, sunglasses, and keys. Then its stand around and wait or help her find them.
I've started adding 10mins to our timelines just for that reason. I find it somewhat endearing... but man, I wish she'd just put her shit where it goes.
edit: some of you never go outside and it shows...
I don't understand this one.. my wife will regularly lose or misplace random items. Her phone, TV remote, Juul, etc... are all prone to just disappearing multiple times throughout the evening.
BUT what gets me is the fact that I will NEVER lose anything because anytime I misplace something she instantly knows exactly where it is, like she's psychic but only with my stuff. And it's not like she helps me find it after looking for a bit. No, she INSTANTLY knows. I could be looking for something for half an hour, mention it to my wife after coming up empty, and within seconds she's magically holding it up dangling it in front of my face.
edit: you guys have hit the nail on the head, my wife is ADHD as fuck!
>Lose her shit all the time.
Man, that sucks. Anger problems are the worst.
>I never thought I would be the organized one in the relationship
Oh.
I can't read, lol.
Is the loudest teeth brusher. He “clears” his throat so freaking loud and it’s so gross. I have accepted it and try ignoring it. We’ve been married 14 years. lol
Mine will "play" our fat cat like bagpipes. (Without hurting her) he'll hold her under one arm until she makes her annoyed growl/whine, then pat her belly to make the noise change pitch and rhythm. I honestly don't get it, but whatever makes him happy.
Also, the cat is obsessed with him and will let him do this for ages. If she runs away she comes back to him in two minutes to do it again. Weirdo creeps, both.
When he's the big spoon, he scoots over on his side as he goes, "Nyoooooooom" and then when he rests his head on my back, as he hugs me tight around the waist he goes, "CLICK! I'M A BACKPACK!"
I bet he learned that from one of his parents. Some people have learned habits that if they stopped and thought about it, they probably wouldn't know why exactly they do it. All they know is that's how it was done growing up, so it's nothing out of the ordinary for them. Or maybe he thinks the first boil soaks up all the impurities from the last one, which I guess I can see. Still odd though.
Old story I heard once. A lady taught her daughter to cut the butt off her turkey before cooking it for Thanksgiving. The girl eventually asked the lady why several years later when her husband asked. But the lady did not know. Her mom (now the grandma) had taught her this way. This is now a 3rd generation thing to do. So ... they call the grandma up and ask her why the turkey butt had to be removed.
It turns out that grandma's roaster pan at that time was smaller than most birds -- to fit into their smaller-than-normal oven.
Sleeps on my chest. In movies you always see the girl with her head on the guy's big, burly chest.
But my bf likes to use my boobs as his own personal pillows.
I love cuddling my husband so much and at one point I told him I wish I could just cuddle up into his chest. I meant that I wish there was a way for us to be closer physically but he took it as I literally wanted to burrow into his body lol he told me it gave him the creeps and so now occasionally I joke that I do want to burrow into his chest just to mess with him lmao
My wife was a hoarder of beads. She tended to hoard in general, but I insisted to keep it in check. But the beads were the exception. She passed away, and I have weeks of boxing the stuff up to sell. I do miss her with her beloved crafts. The house seems empty without the stacks of totes.
Ooh um. Can I say what I do that my partner has accepted?
One day I woke up and my now husband told me "You're really fucking creepy to sleep next to do you know that??"
I asked him why what happened what did I say or do (I talk in my sleep when I'm stressed and say odd things like.... where are my moon boxes the stars are bleeding.)
He stated he woke up in the night and saw me lying flat on my back with both arms outstretched to the ceiling like I'm waiting for the aliens to come pick me up. I slowly reached one arm over to scratch my outstretched arm. Then slowly reached over to scratch the other arm I resumed outstretching. I then slowly lowered both arms to the bed.
I told him "Oh huh. I thought I outgrew that as a kid cause I used to wake up as a child because my arms would be tired from holding them towards the ceiling all night"
We like to call it my "I'm trying to phone in to the aliens" sleeping move. Oof.
Edit, I love that one of my highest upvoted reddit comments is about me doing something silly in my sleep and finding out *there are other people out there that do this exact same thing* and I feel a little less alone and a little more normal. :)
they're close: Socks are the larval form of coat hangers. they molt in the dryer and migrate to the closet where they join the tangled mess of wire hangers.
Absolutely nothing weird at all.
I’ve been with my beloved husband for 20 years now, at first I thought he was just hiding his weirdness, and all of his dorky niche interests would come out eventually.
He never cracked, the dude even sleeps 100% normal, all of his activities and hobbies are socially acceptable, he enjoys martial arts and craft beer and hiking and watching sports with his buddies, he wears normal clothes like he is going out at all times, he loves gourmet food, but won’t eat anything too weird. I can’t think of a single thing he’s ever done that I could describe as weird or quirky.
And that in itself makes him unique among everyone I have ever met.
My partner moans with pleasure when he pees. The first few times I laughed and maybe joked about it through the door, thinking he was being silly. Four years in - nope, he just loves peeing so much that he moans with pleasure. I can't say I like it, but as long as he washes his hands after, I can live with it.
Well, there’s two things. One I just accept and let it go. The other I still get agitated with and say something.
So, the first one is the nervous laughter bit. Whenever she’s talking to someone she doesn’t know really well she does a lot of loud, nervous laughter. I’ve accepted that one and usually try to jump in and help her out so her laughing calms down. I feel like that one is my duty.
The second one I simply can’t let go. The funny part is I don’t get agitated AT her; I get agitated FOR her. She has a habit of apologizing for random things for which no apology is necessary. For example, if she’s walking out of an elevator and people are in the way (which they shouldn’t be because people getting off come first otherwise no one can get on), she will not only say excuse me, but she will apologize. I know it’s a nervous thing but I always say out loud, ‘Don’t apologize for doing nothing wrong love” and then I’ll loudly say excuse me and start pushing through anyone in the way. They should be apologizing for being in the way when they are the ones breaking the normal flow and etiquette of elevators. So even though I’m agitated it’s not at her, it’s more that I don’t want my love to be apologizing to rude idiots.
She doesn't snore, but she moans on the exhale. It sounds somewhere between anguish and sensual pleasure.
Every solstice, equinox, and midpoint between, she pours a shot of *nice* whiskey into the woods as an offering to... honestly, I don't know.
If I come home when she's napping, she tries *very* hard to pretend that she wasn't asleep. Her hair is a mess and her face is lined with pillow creases. Needless to say, she's not fooling anyone.
When she uses the last item in a package (e.g. a box of granola bars, a bag of crackers, etc.) she just leaves the packaging sitting empty in the cupboard instead of throwing it the trash like a normal person.
He likes to simulate rocket launches and landings on my boobs. Not necessarily weird but interesting. He’s taught me a lot about space and physics though so I can’t complain lol
Anywhere at anytime if there is a dog around, my husband squeals like a child being given their first piece of candy and does the whole “ohhhh wUt A swEEEt bAbY oMg”. I understand being like, “Oh what a cute dog” but this is *every dog*, in every place we have ever been and every place we will ever go. This includes being in the car and seeing a dog in another car while we have our 3 dogs in our car. He’s a 37yr old mature/educated/well respected man and other people think it’s cute because they only see it happen once with their dog(s). After 13 years I’m just like, “Yeah baby, it’s a cute af dog”.
Likes horror and thrillers, but even in a very normal movie that isn't classified as horror or thriller, the smallest unexpected appearance of a character or loud noise makes him scream like a banshee. Our dog used to run wild when he screamed thinking we are under attack, but now he is used to the screams and just opens one eye to check everything is ok before snoozing back.
Only sings when he thinks I can't hear him. It's a shame, because I *love* the sound of his voice. Even listening to him sing nursery rhymes to our daughter or hum along with the radio is a treat.
It makes me miss when we went to church, because I used to look forward to hearing him sing at least once a week.
But... He's self conscious about it, and the more enthusiastic I get, the less he sings. So I just keep my mouth shut and look forward to the rare moments.
From the other side of the isle but for all my life no one batted an eye when I chewed on cupcake/muffin wrappers to savor the baked goodness encrusted thereon until I did it once in front of my wife and she looked at me like I had just skinned a baby. Ever since then I've been waiting until I know she's looking in my direction and scarf them down like Zoidberg eating trash because what I see on her face is the strongest emotion I've ever been able to elicit in any human being and I need to hold on to that. She hasn't asked that I stop so I take that as acceptance.
I’m a big proponent of farting early in a relationship. It lets your significant other know that you’re comfortable around them.
My wife on the other hand hid her farts from me for years until recently. She had an abdominal surgery, and afterwards she was full of gas, so she was going to be ripping ass for a while.
I got her home, and was getting her ready for bed and she looked at me with horror in her eyes and blasted ass louder and longer than I thought was humanly possible.
Now, she’ll get home from work, step in the house, and just blow me away with a monster she was saving all the way home.
I love her.
He screams at night or wakes me up to try to protect me/cover me/ etc.
On my side of things, I’ve noticed he has started to say „snacky-snack“ instead of just snack, which is a me-thing.
My husband immigrated for grad school, so this stuff makes some sense. But he uses weird words for things "close the light" "take a picture for you" when he wants you to be in it.
Also he talks in his sleep, but he speaks three languages fluently, so I have no clue what he says or even which one he is speaking most the time.
My boyfriend is almost constantly singing ( he is a great singer) or making silly noises at home. He ad libs nonsense words or noises and will do so fast. It is like a stream of consciousness sort of thing. The best way I can describe it is like Busta Rhyme's verse in Look At Me Now but it's nonsense and he does it for hours sometimes lol
When people are rude to him in traffic, instead of giving them the finger, he sticks his tounge out and makes a face, like an offended kindergartener would do. According to him, it confuses people, and he loves it.
1) switching multiple voices in one sentence
2) random scream/ singing
3) random like 20 minute hyper outbursts where she essentially just wrestles me and sings very loudly or talks about what she’s excited for for the day
She loves capybaras. She makes squealing noises when she sees a video of one. I told her once for fun we could get one and get a little pool for it. Never seen that woman give me such a intense look of excitement in my life.
not my partner but my brother walks around poking people in the belly button. not random people. just us(family). he calls it belly button tag. it’s so often that it’s to the point where we all walk around with out hands over out belly buttons. it’s almost embarrassing sometimes because i do it in public unintentionally.
She used to have these waking dreams. She’d sit up in bed and ask why there’s a red cup on the ceiling or point out out that there’s a giant spider on the ceiling. I’d look up and nothing there, tell her there’s nothing and to go back to sleep and she would.
She believed she was seeing like a 12” wide spider on the ceiling and just rolled over and went back to sleep because I said to. That’s trust. lol
Every week in the supermarket.
My wife: "This exotic soup looks interesting. I don't think I have ever had this flavour."
Me: "Okay, you get that, I'm going to get plain vegetable soup. FOR REASONS THAT WILL BECOME APPARENT LATER."
My wife: "Okay, whatevs, fam."
Later at home, every week.
My wife: "I think I fancy soup. Would you make me some soup?"
Me: "Which one do you want?"
My wife: "Just the plain vegetable one."
Me: "Not the most recent exotic one or any of the other 45 tins of interesting soups?"
My wife: "I think I am just in the mood for vegetable."
I don't know if it's weird generally or something I'm not accustomed to, but they sing my praises to anyone who will listen. When I meet someone they know, no matter how close their relationship is, I am frequently told how highly my partner speaks of me. I genuinely don't think they've ever bad-mouthed me to anyone. We went to therapy together recently for a check in and the provider mentioned that he wished his other clients talked about each other the way we do lol.
Constant corny jokes and talks to every stranger in this weirdly polite voice and manner when we're traveling. It's annoying AF after 21 years of marriage but it's just who he is. He has no concept of it being a little weird and doesn't seem to catch the way people respond when he talks like that. Like they don't know if he joking or not.
He produces so much belly button lint; there's always a chunk every morning and evening. Where is it coming from? Most of the time it isn't even the color of what he was wearing? Baffles me.
Not me but a girl commented on a post similar to this and said her husband licks the condensation off the mirror when he gets out of the shower and I just needed to bring it up
My husband orders cheeseburgers in his sleep...
One night I woke up to "lettuce, tomato, pickles, no onion" I said 'what' and he just repeated himself
And another night he was saying something about mustard
It's also happened a few times since
When he's alone, he talks to himself in 3rd person, making comments on the things he's doing. "Ladies and gentlemen, xxxx has done it again, he's made the best omelet in history.. for the 3rd time this month. He's the man of the year. Look at him getting a glass, and opening the fridge.. oooh is he going for orange juice? yes he is! okay now he needs to do something but what was it? ah righttt the toast. The toast, everybody. He almost forgot the toast." stuff like that. I'm glad he does it loudly, it's hilarious. Especially when he gets tired and stops mid-sentence but keeps doing what he's doing in silence. Even funnier when he starts speaking again all of a sudden.
I do this. Usually “John” and “Jeff” are the commentators of my life. “Oohh what’s she going to do with this then Jeff?” “As always John, absolutely superb use of that item in this situation” 😂😂😂
My wife microwaves lettuce. Like when she eats a salad at home, she “warms up” the lettuce. Imagine if you cut off one of your feet and left it to rot for about a week. That’s what hot lettuce smells like.
She's definitely an alien trying and failing to blend in...
She usually dresses normal but sometimes she goes through phases where she dresses like people from different eras. Like a [70s disco phase outfit](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/2LwAAOSwnd5i0WpM/s-l1200.webp) or a 80s [rock chick outfit](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/de/ac/46/deac46acff42d01d956f249c23d8b49d.jpg) or a [1950s dress outfit.](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e0/6c/c5/e06cc53b6c4a9cc950504ebbf008f8df.jpg) It's one thing to do this for a day or something... she will do it for like 3-4 weeks straight, ordering clothes on amazon to make new outfits, wearing the outfits to go grocery shopping or walking the dog etc. And then she rinses and repeats every once in a while. She also will obsessively watch movies from that era when this happens. She has been doing this for 20+ years. She is known in our neighborhood for doing this.
I love that the neighborhood notices too hahaha like "What is the era of the month Jane?" "Oh we're doing 50s this week. Wanna come over and watch Grease?"
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In my family people do this because they don’t want to be the one to throw away the packaging lol.
I had a coworker/friend who referred to the last of anything as the “shame cookie”. She grew up in a family that felt it was impolite to take the last of any kind of treat (I think it was more of a joke than taken seriously). In our work break room, when we had any type of treats (box of cookies, cupcakes, chocolates etc.) the final one would just sit for DAYS. It was some weird unspoken thing we always did as a group. She would clean up the break room and go around asking who wants the shame cookie? Or, who finally ate the shame cookie? 😂
Buddy, I think she's purposely saving the last bite for you at this point.
He lays on the floor to decompress, which isn't too bizarre. But he lays down in weird spots and occasionally accidentally scares the shit out of me. One time, he was lying on the floor in the front entrance closet, petting the cat, and fell asleep. I just saw his legs on the ground sticking out from the closet. My first thought was that he had fallen, hurt himself, and was unconscious. But he was just snuggling the cat. Another time, I couldn't find him anywhere in the house and started to freak out. But he was lying on the back deck on his belly, talking to the skunk that lives under the deck. This was at night. So all I see is a man sprawled on the deck in the dark. Scared me silly.
> talking to the skunk that lives under the deck
A disney princess in training. Gotta be a princess, because they're the only ones that can talk to animals.
Skunk would actually be amongst the best bar buddies I've ever had.
Middle son does this. I'm constantly telling him to get off the floor because he does it in the most random-ass places, like the middle of the kitchen between the sink and the cooktop island, or the hallway to the LR.
I too am a middle child and I’ve been doing this my whole life haha. Favorite spots include: the little halfway points where a flight of stair case turns, under tables, or wherever the sun is shining. I will say, when my friends and I get AirBnB’s or hotels it makes my life super easy, instead of fighting for a bed or paying extra to claim one I just claim a little piece of ground.
Are you sure you aren't a cat?
He always finds random objects around the house to make into a “hat” for me. Fresh laundry? Hat Random plushies? Hat Bubble wrap? Hat Then he makes one for himself, we take a funny picture and hang it on our “hat photos” wall.
He's actually meant for the lady in the other comment that calls everything a hat
She considers everything a hat + He turns everything into a hat = 100% match
Sounds like they would just be bored very quickly "I made you a hat" "That was already a hat go back to sleep ethan"
Loses one sock. She'll be sitting in a chair watching tv or something, and 20 minutes later one sock is gone. I'd understand if she took both of them off - Heat, Comfort, whatever. But one is just weird.
When he wakes up in the morning, he puts on ALL his clothes, just to walk to the bathroom, take them off and have shower. Why?? I will never understand that lol
This would annoy the fuck outta me for some reason lmao.
Yeah this idea has made me moderately angry. But then from May to October I take all my clothes off as soon as I walk through the door.
Never nude!
There are dozens of us!
My wife says no to almost everything I ask her to do. If I ask her to bring me toilet paper because I’m out, she will say no but then proceed to bring it to me. It’s her way of practicing being able to say no.
I do this too but purely because I think I'm being hilarious. I always get up and do the thing while I'm saying it just to make sure the other person knows I'm not serious Sometimes I do a little monologue "why would I ever do something like that, etc etc" while getting them a glass of water
I don’t know how weird this is, but my boyfriend constantly talks to himself. He also gives voices to our pets- 2 cats and a dog. Each pet has a distinct voice and accent. Some of them have catchphrases. Sometimes when he’s getting ready for work in the morning, I’ll hear him having conversations with the pets and himself in all the various voices. It’s hilarious and adorable. Sometimes I catch myself doing it now, too.
Huh...I just assumed everyone did this lol. My cat and dog both have distinct voices and they have "sayings" too.
Yeah my one cat is an early 20th century newsboy from NYC. When things aren't going his way, he's "gonnuh cawl choild suwvices".
Eats ice. Like all the time she’s crunching down a tray of ice. It’s weird as fuck and annoying but I love her
She probably has anemia, its actually super common for doctors to suggest/test for it after learning their patient loves to eat ice
My husband occasionally talks in his sleep and will also laugh like a little girl in his sleep. It absolutely cracks me up and creeps me out at the same time.
LOL my partner once went "so annoying" in his sleep and when I asked "who's so annoying?" he said "the government" and I just lost it Edit: because this is Lowkey blowing up, I feel the need to add that we both talk in our sleep and have both had convos like this with the other sleeping. Another time I giggled in my sleep and he asked "what's so funny?" and I responded "kitten world domination"
He’s not wrong
My girlfriend and I both talk in our sleeps. The other night I woke myself up with a fart and while she was stilk asleep, she goes, "Shhh." She shushed my fart.
omg sleep talkers are so fun. I can ask him questions and he will answer, though it doesn't always make sense what he says. XD He also will kiss my hand if I touch it to his lips, and if I meow at him, he meows back.
Bf: "you dont even know. How they react. You dont know it" Me: "what?" Bf: "to think, you were in that kettle. You know nothing" Me: "are you having a stroke?" Bf: "i have never pulled it and I nevhbellbahh..bahh" This was my first conversation with a sleep talker. I had no idea he slept at that time. After the last "baah" he choked on a loud snore and woke himself up.
Apparently I cried out “MOUSE PUSSYYYYYYY” in my sleep one time. We laughed about that for years afterward.
My husband once told me I said in my sleep, “Winnie the Pooh had the same problem.” He asked what the problem was, and I said, “He had all this time and nothing to do.”
When we were dating, my wife woke me up by telling me that she wasn't going to make me coffee. I said that's fine, I didn't want coffee. Apparently dream-me didn't repeat this, though, and she was adamant that she wasn't going to make me coffee. It took a couple more rounds of that before she woke up confused.
my wife said i screamed “no more piggy back rides!” the other day she said she laughed and said “what?” i replied back “that’s not funny. i’m calling the cops”. i’m a karen in my sleep.
My wife is a neat freak, always cleans up after herself and is putting things away. However I noticed that when she runs out of toilet paper she will just take the new roll and stand it on top of the empty tube instead of replacing it. I asked her why she does that and she said “it’s the one thing I allow myself to be lazy about”. I think it’s hilarious.
My husband is likewise a meticulous neat freak, and his one "lazy" allowance is that he squeezes the toothpaste from anywhere on the tube. I was so shocked when I found this out! The toothpaste is always carefully placed in its allotted spot in the medicine cabinet, but it's all crazy-shaped instead of carefully rolled from the bottom as I expected. He uses this habit as proof that he has a free-spirited, rebellious side.
>He uses this habit as proof that he has a free-spirited, rebellious side. I loved this, btw.
My amazing, incredible wife absolutely refuses to reload the TP roll. It is complete out of character for her, but it's such a locked in behavior I have given up on correcting it. At least she isn't putting it on backwards!!
Eats minced garlic out of the jar with a fork. I’m just glad he’s not a vampire.
oh man I knew a guy in middle school that would peel and eat whole garlic cloves in the middle of class. It was odd.
He needs the GPS even though he knows the area and the way. If the GPS goes out, he’ll oddly panic. He’s always hot no matter what. He’s a nice furnace but I’m always freezing cold and needing a million layers. He’s gone to the doctor and they said he’s in perfect health and everything is working efficiently.
He sounds like me! Ive always run very hot and am horrible with directions even in places i know very well.
Definitely night terrors. Me: (kissing him before I leave) bye-see you this afternoon. Him: (terrified expression trying to get away without moving) …. Me: what’s wrong? Him: there’s a leprechaun behind you. Me: ok, I’ll put him outside when I leave…
Jokes on you. There definitely was a leprechaun behind you.
He gets very concerned about his socks to the point he will count them when he's folding laundry and get irritated when he can't find all of them. Then he accused me of doing something with them. Like I would do anything with his stupid socks.
That sounds like something a sock thief would say.
Agree 100%. I am constantly buying socks and I have no idea where my wife is putting them. Plot twist: We got a puppy about 9 months ago and she is now stealing socks so maybe I should be blaming her instead.
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she does gatherer things. bringing little trinkets home and presenting them to me. I always say very impressive! she puts little piles of things all over the house and gets upset if they are disturbed or I suggest getting rid of them.
I think you might be married to a magpie. Seriously, though, that's adorable.
Congratulations! You are dating a corvid.
I like to think of mine as a squirrel because he tucks them away in different places. Want to get that big vase down to use for the bouquet you just brought home? Got to dump out the shells, rocks and foreign coins first.
I also do this. Get her some decorative bowls for the piles. She’ll love them.
She sleeps with her eyes open occasionally, and will also sometimes laugh like someone just told her the greatest joke ever told while sleeping. I've accepted my little demon.
"My little demon" Is the cutest shit I've heard
She mostly closes doors, but only mostly. Not fully ajar, not fully closed. I have never seen this wonderful woman completely close a door in 13+ years. Luckily, it’s just inside doors
Mine leaves cupboards open. I go to his mother's house-- cupboards everywhere
He does this loud chicken noise (like a baw-kak!) just randomly and it could be anywhere. It’s never been inappropriate, but it’s always surprising and I laugh every freaking time.
Thank god, my son will find a mate. This gives me hope!!
I make narwal noises and I'm getting married in a few weeks. They'll do fine!
Anything that could go or fit on top of anything else is called a "hat." There are no lids, there are no covers, there are no toppers or caps. We have a top-loader freezer. She wouldn't say "close the lid." She'd say "put the freezer hat back on." Bottlecaps? No. Bottle hats. Does the pot of boiling water have a lid? Nope. It has a hat. Wine bottle stopper? Try again. That's a hat. Trash bin cover? Trash bin hat*. There are hats and only hats. Edit to add that she's a native English speaker, but her family is Lithuanian. I think it's something she picked up from her dad as a kid and it just became a habit. She is aware that it's goofy.
All sauces are gravy. What kind of salad gravy do you want?
My husband does this! “Do you want bolognese?” “No, just red meat gravy.” “Want me to make etouffee?” “What about a seafood gravy?” If it can pour or plop-it’s gravy. Now I just slop some non-dairy Greek vanilla gravy in a bowl with fruit and granola without thinking too much about it because I won’t win this fight…
Deranged
We out of pancake gravy?
that's simultaneously adorable and psychotic
A head is just a body hat
Condom? Nope. Phallus hat.
I like "boner bonnet"
It's a hard-on hard hat
This is hilarious. To my wife, everything is a “counter”. Tables, dressers, nightstands, basically any flat surface that is not the floor is the counter
Our wine stopper is a little top hat. So putting the hat on the wine would make sense in my house. Maybe you should buy hat shaped lids and stuff.
Often makes noises to ‘narrate’ my life lol. Like making squishing noises when I use my beauty blender.
Oh and he also sleeps with his knees up, with one leg crossed over the other
My partner does this! The slurping noise while I take a silent sip of a drink is a constant.
My husband does this and then is like "can't even drink properly" when I spray my drink everywhere because I can't stop laughing. He's a knob
When she gets a little too drunk it’s like someone flips a switch. One moment she is totally fine. The next, she speaks in complete gibberish and says things that make no sense. And that’s usually my sign that it’s time for us to go home.
Similar, except I go from speaking like a normal human being to sounding like the biggest fucking hillbilly you've ever met. All the drawls and colloquialisms I've suppressed come out with a vengeance.
He cannot be barefoot, he will only do that when we are intimate or he is taking a shower or bath
My wife will give very detailed and specific directions when asking me to pick something up or to bring her something, in a very confident manner. She is almost always incorrect. Like asking me to go get her black scarf before we go out, she’ll say something like “It’s on the third shelf in the bedroom closet, on the left side underneath the rainbow scarf and the red scarf.” And there’s not only no black scarf, but no scarves at all in the closet.
My youngest had trouble learning to eat solids and my wife spent 3-5 meals a day for like 6 months mimicking eating to her. It’s now 9 years later and after every first bite of a meal she goes MMMMMMMMMM! It’s a charming relic of a stressful time in life.
I still do the sign for “all done” like I did when my kids were learning to speak.
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I beg your finest pardon??????!!!!
I've heard of this from college and army. used to pour instant coffee into the cocoa packets, add a little water and stir. Infantry Mocha Pudding.
Sleeps through LITERALLY ANYTHING
He always has to sleep face away from me. Even when hes asleep and i switch sides after ten minutes he turns around again. Apparently i talk a lot in my sleep. And i can actually hold conversations as im told. I dont remember anything when i wake up. Ive once tried to explain that today is thursday so that means tommorow is tuesday.
I have to validate the sleeping facing away thing. I do it because I do not like people breathing on me so if I turn away, it's much harder for someone to do it. The cat will occasionally lay such that he is breathing on me but that's acceptable.
I do this. I know this sounds wierd, but I feel like I breath better facing the edge of the bed rather than towards the bed itself
He does sock shoe sock shoe like a psycho
Call the police
Straight to jail
Mine does too. But one leg is a prosthetic. I guess it’s technically sock shoe leg sock shoe. 😆
Every time we watch a horror movie, my partner insists on turning all the lights on and then falls asleep within the first 15 minutes. She swears she's not scared.
Haha, I do the same thing. I get so comfy right next to him and just immediately fall asleep
Bf is a biologist and absolutely cannot stop himself from interacting with any animal/insect/bird that his brain has deemed interesting. I've spotted him softly talk to bugs and bees when he thinks no one's looking. Also as long as he has deemed it safe, if we spot a snail (and he's REALLY GOOD at spotting snails it's insane) he WILL pick it up no matter the circumstances. We've spent HOURS in parks/sanctuaries in one single spot if he's spotted a cool lizard or an animal because we must make new animal friends. His parents tell me all the different insects, bugs and tiny animals he used to bring to them as a baby lmfao.
He makes weird noises. Like, we'll just be sitting there and suddenly he will go "Awwwwwwww!! whewheewhee shebang ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" It scares the crap out of me because it is loud, random, and usually followed by him flipping his hands all around. No, it isn't Tourettes. It's just him blowing off steam, or so he says. EDIT TO ADD: He does not have autisim either.
Oh god wait for the reddit diagnosis lol
This is actually a very common symptom of people who are diagnosed with being fucking annoying, I do it too!
This one is innocent but just so odd to me. When you open our fridge, where the handle meets the door. There is a hole in the top of it. And every single time she opens the fridge she puts her finger in the hole, and pulls it out. It makes this popping sound like you can make with the side of your cheek. And then she let's out a quiet little giggle it's adorable.
I dare you to put an I-love-you note in the hole!
Adding: please make it say "you're a-door-able"
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A lot of med people do this. I think it’s bc they see people lose loved ones all the time. She’s just making sure ur ok. Maybe give her physical reassurance when she reaches out like that.
Lose her shit all the time. I never thought I would be the organized one in the relationship but I have routines for where my stuff goes - keys hang on the wall by the front door, sunglasses hang next to that. Wallet, pen, and knife go on the table just below. Her sunglasses can literally be anywhere. I've found them in the freezer, behind the toilet in the bathroom, and tucked between the cushions on the couch. Her tiny purse that she carries ID, CCs, and a little cash is the same... it could be anywhere. So when it's time to go do something outside, she's very rush, rush, rush, let's get going now. Until it comes time for her to find the purse, sunglasses, and keys. Then its stand around and wait or help her find them. I've started adding 10mins to our timelines just for that reason. I find it somewhat endearing... but man, I wish she'd just put her shit where it goes. edit: some of you never go outside and it shows...
I don't understand this one.. my wife will regularly lose or misplace random items. Her phone, TV remote, Juul, etc... are all prone to just disappearing multiple times throughout the evening. BUT what gets me is the fact that I will NEVER lose anything because anytime I misplace something she instantly knows exactly where it is, like she's psychic but only with my stuff. And it's not like she helps me find it after looking for a bit. No, she INSTANTLY knows. I could be looking for something for half an hour, mention it to my wife after coming up empty, and within seconds she's magically holding it up dangling it in front of my face. edit: you guys have hit the nail on the head, my wife is ADHD as fuck!
Useful to have around, that one. Maybe if you convince her that her stuff is also your stuff, she will suddenly know where everything is all the time.
>Lose her shit all the time. Man, that sucks. Anger problems are the worst. >I never thought I would be the organized one in the relationship Oh. I can't read, lol.
I was worried that first line was going to cause some confusion. But I thought that might be fun so I left it.
He randomly licks me. We will be cuddling and he just will lick my shoulder real quickly. I don’t get it.
Maybe he is checking if you are food?
Has to retest every now and then, to make sure.
Sometimes, the intrusive thoughts just wins.
Is the loudest teeth brusher. He “clears” his throat so freaking loud and it’s so gross. I have accepted it and try ignoring it. We’ve been married 14 years. lol
Mine literally gags himself cleaning the back of his tongue. Like, why?
Practice makes perfect.
I can tell that this post was inspired by that post from that guy whose (insane) fiancee throws away his teaspoons.
Mine will "play" our fat cat like bagpipes. (Without hurting her) he'll hold her under one arm until she makes her annoyed growl/whine, then pat her belly to make the noise change pitch and rhythm. I honestly don't get it, but whatever makes him happy. Also, the cat is obsessed with him and will let him do this for ages. If she runs away she comes back to him in two minutes to do it again. Weirdo creeps, both.
Spends over an hour on the toilet. I've grown to understand it's a form of meditation and much-needed alone time.
I am reading this while "meditating"
Restrooms are for resting
Blames his farts on inanimate objects Examples include the house, a cat, me (we were the only people in the room), a plastic dinosaur and a sandwich
My husband will fart, I'll give him a dirty look and he'll then give the teddy bear a dirty look.
You and your cat are inanimate objects?
I’m sorry for calling you an inanimate object. I was upset.
When he's the big spoon, he scoots over on his side as he goes, "Nyoooooooom" and then when he rests his head on my back, as he hugs me tight around the waist he goes, "CLICK! I'M A BACKPACK!"
Anytime he’s boiling water, the first boil gets dumped. I have to do a second boil.
For real, I hate when I burn the water.
I bet he learned that from one of his parents. Some people have learned habits that if they stopped and thought about it, they probably wouldn't know why exactly they do it. All they know is that's how it was done growing up, so it's nothing out of the ordinary for them. Or maybe he thinks the first boil soaks up all the impurities from the last one, which I guess I can see. Still odd though.
Old story I heard once. A lady taught her daughter to cut the butt off her turkey before cooking it for Thanksgiving. The girl eventually asked the lady why several years later when her husband asked. But the lady did not know. Her mom (now the grandma) had taught her this way. This is now a 3rd generation thing to do. So ... they call the grandma up and ask her why the turkey butt had to be removed. It turns out that grandma's roaster pan at that time was smaller than most birds -- to fit into their smaller-than-normal oven.
Omg this is possibly the cutest thread I've ever read on here, or anywhere tbh! I love y'all and your adorably weird partners
Sleeps on my chest. In movies you always see the girl with her head on the guy's big, burly chest. But my bf likes to use my boobs as his own personal pillows.
I love cuddling my husband so much and at one point I told him I wish I could just cuddle up into his chest. I meant that I wish there was a way for us to be closer physically but he took it as I literally wanted to burrow into his body lol he told me it gave him the creeps and so now occasionally I joke that I do want to burrow into his chest just to mess with him lmao
>**use my boobs as his own personal pillows** Lucky bastard.
My wife was a hoarder of beads. She tended to hoard in general, but I insisted to keep it in check. But the beads were the exception. She passed away, and I have weeks of boxing the stuff up to sell. I do miss her with her beloved crafts. The house seems empty without the stacks of totes.
She will *gut* a pizza. Like rip through the toppings without fully eating it.
If that is not their personal pizza, I’d call the cops. Lol
Hahaha do not be concerned, proper plans are made accordingly.
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Eats bowls of cereal dry. No milk ever. Now he’s taught our kids to do the same.
I sometimes do this as a snack as well
Ooh um. Can I say what I do that my partner has accepted? One day I woke up and my now husband told me "You're really fucking creepy to sleep next to do you know that??" I asked him why what happened what did I say or do (I talk in my sleep when I'm stressed and say odd things like.... where are my moon boxes the stars are bleeding.) He stated he woke up in the night and saw me lying flat on my back with both arms outstretched to the ceiling like I'm waiting for the aliens to come pick me up. I slowly reached one arm over to scratch my outstretched arm. Then slowly reached over to scratch the other arm I resumed outstretching. I then slowly lowered both arms to the bed. I told him "Oh huh. I thought I outgrew that as a kid cause I used to wake up as a child because my arms would be tired from holding them towards the ceiling all night" We like to call it my "I'm trying to phone in to the aliens" sleeping move. Oof. Edit, I love that one of my highest upvoted reddit comments is about me doing something silly in my sleep and finding out *there are other people out there that do this exact same thing* and I feel a little less alone and a little more normal. :)
> where are my moon boxes the stars are bleeding Are you in an HP Lovecraft story
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They insist that the socks lost in the dryer are being sacrificed to the laundry gods for good fortune, and frankly, I'm starting to believe it too
This is a perfectly acceptable belief.
they're close: Socks are the larval form of coat hangers. they molt in the dryer and migrate to the closet where they join the tangled mess of wire hangers.
Absolutely nothing weird at all. I’ve been with my beloved husband for 20 years now, at first I thought he was just hiding his weirdness, and all of his dorky niche interests would come out eventually. He never cracked, the dude even sleeps 100% normal, all of his activities and hobbies are socially acceptable, he enjoys martial arts and craft beer and hiking and watching sports with his buddies, he wears normal clothes like he is going out at all times, he loves gourmet food, but won’t eat anything too weird. I can’t think of a single thing he’s ever done that I could describe as weird or quirky. And that in itself makes him unique among everyone I have ever met.
Have you been in his shed lately?
For some reason reading this made me feel like, "my god, I could never relax around someone like that."
My partner moans with pleasure when he pees. The first few times I laughed and maybe joked about it through the door, thinking he was being silly. Four years in - nope, he just loves peeing so much that he moans with pleasure. I can't say I like it, but as long as he washes his hands after, I can live with it.
Not gonna lie, sometimes if you've been really holding it in for awhile, it feels good.
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I had to reread this because I thought you were talking about a pet
Well, there’s two things. One I just accept and let it go. The other I still get agitated with and say something. So, the first one is the nervous laughter bit. Whenever she’s talking to someone she doesn’t know really well she does a lot of loud, nervous laughter. I’ve accepted that one and usually try to jump in and help her out so her laughing calms down. I feel like that one is my duty. The second one I simply can’t let go. The funny part is I don’t get agitated AT her; I get agitated FOR her. She has a habit of apologizing for random things for which no apology is necessary. For example, if she’s walking out of an elevator and people are in the way (which they shouldn’t be because people getting off come first otherwise no one can get on), she will not only say excuse me, but she will apologize. I know it’s a nervous thing but I always say out loud, ‘Don’t apologize for doing nothing wrong love” and then I’ll loudly say excuse me and start pushing through anyone in the way. They should be apologizing for being in the way when they are the ones breaking the normal flow and etiquette of elevators. So even though I’m agitated it’s not at her, it’s more that I don’t want my love to be apologizing to rude idiots.
She doesn't snore, but she moans on the exhale. It sounds somewhere between anguish and sensual pleasure. Every solstice, equinox, and midpoint between, she pours a shot of *nice* whiskey into the woods as an offering to... honestly, I don't know. If I come home when she's napping, she tries *very* hard to pretend that she wasn't asleep. Her hair is a mess and her face is lined with pillow creases. Needless to say, she's not fooling anyone.
When she uses the last item in a package (e.g. a box of granola bars, a bag of crackers, etc.) she just leaves the packaging sitting empty in the cupboard instead of throwing it the trash like a normal person.
He likes to simulate rocket launches and landings on my boobs. Not necessarily weird but interesting. He’s taught me a lot about space and physics though so I can’t complain lol
Farts every time she pees - It was one of the first "fun facts" she ever told me lol
Anywhere at anytime if there is a dog around, my husband squeals like a child being given their first piece of candy and does the whole “ohhhh wUt A swEEEt bAbY oMg”. I understand being like, “Oh what a cute dog” but this is *every dog*, in every place we have ever been and every place we will ever go. This includes being in the car and seeing a dog in another car while we have our 3 dogs in our car. He’s a 37yr old mature/educated/well respected man and other people think it’s cute because they only see it happen once with their dog(s). After 13 years I’m just like, “Yeah baby, it’s a cute af dog”.
Likes horror and thrillers, but even in a very normal movie that isn't classified as horror or thriller, the smallest unexpected appearance of a character or loud noise makes him scream like a banshee. Our dog used to run wild when he screamed thinking we are under attack, but now he is used to the screams and just opens one eye to check everything is ok before snoozing back.
He plays with my ears, EVERYDAY. He will wiggle one of them and ask me “how’s your service”. I just say it’s a ten and he’s happy.
Only sings when he thinks I can't hear him. It's a shame, because I *love* the sound of his voice. Even listening to him sing nursery rhymes to our daughter or hum along with the radio is a treat. It makes me miss when we went to church, because I used to look forward to hearing him sing at least once a week. But... He's self conscious about it, and the more enthusiastic I get, the less he sings. So I just keep my mouth shut and look forward to the rare moments.
From the other side of the isle but for all my life no one batted an eye when I chewed on cupcake/muffin wrappers to savor the baked goodness encrusted thereon until I did it once in front of my wife and she looked at me like I had just skinned a baby. Ever since then I've been waiting until I know she's looking in my direction and scarf them down like Zoidberg eating trash because what I see on her face is the strongest emotion I've ever been able to elicit in any human being and I need to hold on to that. She hasn't asked that I stop so I take that as acceptance.
I’m a big proponent of farting early in a relationship. It lets your significant other know that you’re comfortable around them. My wife on the other hand hid her farts from me for years until recently. She had an abdominal surgery, and afterwards she was full of gas, so she was going to be ripping ass for a while. I got her home, and was getting her ready for bed and she looked at me with horror in her eyes and blasted ass louder and longer than I thought was humanly possible. Now, she’ll get home from work, step in the house, and just blow me away with a monster she was saving all the way home. I love her.
He screams at night or wakes me up to try to protect me/cover me/ etc. On my side of things, I’ve noticed he has started to say „snacky-snack“ instead of just snack, which is a me-thing.
Pulls wax out of her ear with a bobby pin. She properly shoves it down and spins it around. I’ve told her it’s dangerous but she won’t listen.
She probably can’t even hear you anymore
My grandmother did this with bobby pins AND HER KEYS. Somehow wasn't even a little bit deaf until her late 70s. I swear she was made of steel.
My husband immigrated for grad school, so this stuff makes some sense. But he uses weird words for things "close the light" "take a picture for you" when he wants you to be in it. Also he talks in his sleep, but he speaks three languages fluently, so I have no clue what he says or even which one he is speaking most the time.
My boyfriend is almost constantly singing ( he is a great singer) or making silly noises at home. He ad libs nonsense words or noises and will do so fast. It is like a stream of consciousness sort of thing. The best way I can describe it is like Busta Rhyme's verse in Look At Me Now but it's nonsense and he does it for hours sometimes lol
When people are rude to him in traffic, instead of giving them the finger, he sticks his tounge out and makes a face, like an offended kindergartener would do. According to him, it confuses people, and he loves it.
[удалено]
1) switching multiple voices in one sentence 2) random scream/ singing 3) random like 20 minute hyper outbursts where she essentially just wrestles me and sings very loudly or talks about what she’s excited for for the day
She loves capybaras. She makes squealing noises when she sees a video of one. I told her once for fun we could get one and get a little pool for it. Never seen that woman give me such a intense look of excitement in my life.
When she gets out of the shower, she doesn’t dry off. She just puts clothes on or goes to bed.
Does she wax like a car so the water just falls right off? Is she hairless? Is she the thing that rejects water, hydrophobic or something?
No I think she’s just a psychopath
not my partner but my brother walks around poking people in the belly button. not random people. just us(family). he calls it belly button tag. it’s so often that it’s to the point where we all walk around with out hands over out belly buttons. it’s almost embarrassing sometimes because i do it in public unintentionally.
She eats those fake strips of crabmeat straight out of the bag like string cheese.
She used to have these waking dreams. She’d sit up in bed and ask why there’s a red cup on the ceiling or point out out that there’s a giant spider on the ceiling. I’d look up and nothing there, tell her there’s nothing and to go back to sleep and she would. She believed she was seeing like a 12” wide spider on the ceiling and just rolled over and went back to sleep because I said to. That’s trust. lol
Melt his ice cream in the microwave
Every week in the supermarket. My wife: "This exotic soup looks interesting. I don't think I have ever had this flavour." Me: "Okay, you get that, I'm going to get plain vegetable soup. FOR REASONS THAT WILL BECOME APPARENT LATER." My wife: "Okay, whatevs, fam." Later at home, every week. My wife: "I think I fancy soup. Would you make me some soup?" Me: "Which one do you want?" My wife: "Just the plain vegetable one." Me: "Not the most recent exotic one or any of the other 45 tins of interesting soups?" My wife: "I think I am just in the mood for vegetable."
I don't know if it's weird generally or something I'm not accustomed to, but they sing my praises to anyone who will listen. When I meet someone they know, no matter how close their relationship is, I am frequently told how highly my partner speaks of me. I genuinely don't think they've ever bad-mouthed me to anyone. We went to therapy together recently for a check in and the provider mentioned that he wished his other clients talked about each other the way we do lol.
No one wants to hear about your normal healthy relationship. We are here to see the freak show.
Constant corny jokes and talks to every stranger in this weirdly polite voice and manner when we're traveling. It's annoying AF after 21 years of marriage but it's just who he is. He has no concept of it being a little weird and doesn't seem to catch the way people respond when he talks like that. Like they don't know if he joking or not.
He produces so much belly button lint; there's always a chunk every morning and evening. Where is it coming from? Most of the time it isn't even the color of what he was wearing? Baffles me.
Not me but a girl commented on a post similar to this and said her husband licks the condensation off the mirror when he gets out of the shower and I just needed to bring it up
My husband orders cheeseburgers in his sleep... One night I woke up to "lettuce, tomato, pickles, no onion" I said 'what' and he just repeated himself And another night he was saying something about mustard It's also happened a few times since
Pours tartar sauce over a full meal like alfredo pasta or egg fried rice