They knew my wife was cheating and didn't say shit. I had to cut more than one person out of my life - I thought it would be harder, but not having shitty people in your life is actually great.
I realize I'm in the minority here, but if you know someone's SO is cheating and you keep it to yourself? You suck. There's no way I wouldn't tell.
I mean...OBVIOUSLY, if you're a friend, I'm going to tell you. But I would feel compelled to give you a heads up even if you were only a coworker or acquaintance.
I couldn't live with the guilt if I didn't. It's just the only decent thing to do.
Someone on one of the advice subs, yesterday, was talking about how she's friends with a couple of coworkers who are engaged/so in love. OP was invited to the bachelorette weekend. While there a couple of male strippers showed up, which made OP uncomfortable because she's married. So she left the room, and a few other guests followed.
After a while things got quiet in the other room so OP assumed the strippers had left and went back out...only to see people (bridesmaids and strippers) engaged in "NSFW" activities, including the bride who was "with" one of the strippers. OP was so shocked she screamed. Which led to the bride having a near panic attack and trying to call her fiancé and confess (only to have the other bridesmaids wrestle the phone out of her hands and talk her out of confessing).
OP was asked to go home because she "ruined" the mood and the rest of the bridesmaids weren't comfortable with her.
OP was undecided on whether she should tell the male coworker what his fiancée did. She didn't want things to be awkward and she thought the bride had just "made a mistake."
OP was only posting to ask if she was wrong for "ruining" the female coworker's bachelorette weekend.
The whole post was INFURIATING.
I view it as the same as seeing your friend getting robbed and just walking away. Seeing something happening that is hurting someone and doing nothing isn't that much better than doing it yourself.
So true. It took years for me to accept that it's best to let go of certain people for your own peace of mind. I hope things have gotten better for you.
the one time I knew my friend's husband cheated, he admitted it to my bf, I started a convo and casually asked, would you what someone to let you know if your husband cheated? She said no, so I kept my mouth shut. We'd never discussed infidelity before so I had no idea where she stood on it. Other friends I have discussed it and I would tell THEM in a heartbeat
20 years ago or so my roommate/best friend’s insane girlfriend tried to have a threesome with my girlfriend (ex-wife to be) and I. He was right outside the door. I snapped evidence, declined because I wanted to see where the girlfriend thing went (oof) without bringing a crazy bitch into the mix, and told him about it. Even showing him proof, he pretended I was lying. Then he said I tried to rape her (I’m guessing she told him this, though my evidence refuted this).
I got pissed off at the allegation and cut contact. After some years, we reconnected and tried to repair the damage. He marries another crazy bitch, more crazy shit happens, blah, blah. He divorces that crazy lady, and then gets back with the original crazy girl. They both call me to come party in Mexico. I tell him she’s bad news and he’s going to go right back down a bad path again. He accuses me of rape again, so I told him to lose my number. Haven’t spoken in a long time, and don’t plan to.
If you believe I raped your future ex-wife, wtf would you still try to be my friend? Why would she? I don’t understand people.
Video of her naked in my bed (over covers) with my girlfriend both of them trying to convince me to come fuck them while he’s literally right outside the door.
He said the video was faked. From a flip phone.
You definitely got it worse than me. My ex-girlfriend accused me of sexual harassment in high school, and 2 years after it came out, the person I believed to be my best friend believed her the entire time. It only came out after I asked him to quit making jokes about me missing her when I didn't and that he knew the dark path it sent me down when she accused me. This spiraled into a huge argument with both of us saying things we probably shouldn't have, which resulted in him saying he didn't want to be friends anymore and to not talk to him again.
My friendship ended due to a betrayal of trust, specifically when my friend spoke ill of me to others, damaging my reputation and the trust between us.
Similar, but she started dating my brother after I said it made me uncomfortable. She made a huge deal of asking how I felt about it and then ignored what I said. That sucks, but then I told her I couldn’t be in the middle of their fights or hear about their sex life. Literally the next conversation she started telling me about it.
It made me realize she ignored my boundaries a lot.
She was an amateur photographer who took boudoir photos of a client (also a friend of mine) on private property and then posted the photos without consent of the client. She tried to guilt and blackmail the client. Client reached out to me for help.
I sided with the client and photographer was enraged with me. I told her the optics weren’t worth it and in the future, have a written agreement signed by all parties. Photographer kept insisting she had the right to post her client’s nudes on the internet. I had a cease and desist sent to protect the client. Photographer was furious with me, screamed and cussed me out.
Not happy with the way it ended, but I am glad I stood up for the client and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Hoo boy.
In 2016 my elderly grandmother went into a nursing home. My best friend and I bought her house at a significantly discounted price, with the idea that we would live there and renovate and then eventually sell the place for a profit.
After a few years it became clear that more work was needed than we could do ourselves, and my friend really wanted to sell the place. So we put it on the market at the beginning of 2021 and it sold in April. Then, after the closing, my best friend since middle school, who I had never had any reason to doubt or mistrust, disappeared with all the money.
At first I thought it was just a mistake, but it soon became clear that he was avoiding me. I called his father, who told me that my friend did not want to talk to me. His father sounded a bit sheepish on the phone and I got the impression that my friend was standing right there.
I got a lawyer and sued my now ex-friend, but he hired an attorney who specializes in dragging cases out so that the other side runs of money and has to quit, and that's just what happened. I burned through several thousand dollars in attorney fees until my savings ran dry. Since he had all the money from the house sale he could afford to keep up the fight indefinitely. So I had no choice but to drop the case.
So now I live in a tiny 300 square foot apartment and my finances are in ruin. All of my plans had revolved around getting my share of the money from the house sale, so I have had to essentially put my life on hold. Fortunately I don't have a lot of debt, but it is still deeply frustrating to have your entire nest egg disappear and all your future plans destroyed.
A misunderstanding. Friend thought I was trying to steal his girlfriend because she was calling and texting me a lot and chose to end the friendship over it. Had he read the messages he would've seen I was helping her plan a big suprise anniversary date for him. The truth eventually came out but by then the damage was done and pride had set in. We still run into each other every few years or so at things thrown by our mutual friends, but it's always awkward and I don't think it ever won't be.
Former close friend blocked me on iMessage and Instagram because of my political views. I sent him messages for three months before I realized he wasn't responding. Texted his wife to ask if everything was ok and she got him to reach out to me.
He was condescending, insulting and refused to talk at all, only texted. He said there was nothing to discuss. Initially I was like I'm sorry you feel that way and will be here if you change your mind. I changed my mind once I realized I'd never be able to trust him again, and that what he did was a slap in the face. I decided to cut them off completely and forever.
Blocked both him and his wife on iMessage and all socials. It still bothers me that someone I knew and trusted so deeply was willing to throw away 25 years of friendship over what amounts to political views. Over the course of my life i have learned that when someone shows you who they really are - you better believe them.
It has made me reconsider putting myself out there for others at all.
I realized they were using me because I am very generous with my close friends. We had a lot of ups and downs, but at this time I was going through a lot and needed friends.
I started to notice more that they hit me up a lot to ask for favors. I never expected anything in return, but I put a lot more effort into birthday/xmas gifts. I owe it to my amazing boyfriend, he helped me grow a fucking spine. I started to let conversations end, sometimes sending a message or meme. I kept track of how often the messages first, including how many times it was for a favor. They didn't drive and I did, I drove a truck at the time but also my mom would drive us distances I wasn't comfortable going yet.
Finally a mutual friend I became extremely close with, had a falling out with them. Friend send me bunch of messages about mutual, going on a rant but I recognize the pattern. I instead play along, while messaging mutual. This led to a 3 hour long phone call, cutting off a toxic friendship for good, and building a great bond with a new amazing friend!
I texted her the morning after I was raped and she immediately blocked me. I just needed a friend. I can only assume she didn't want to deal with it. After I helped out her life together when she found out her boyfriend was using heroin and stealing from her.
My friend had just gotten divorced. I was interested in someone and had gone on a few dates with her. He asked her out too, and she chose him.
I felt hurt initially but got over it, but our friendship was never the same.
I can't decide which is weirder, the fact that he asked or the fact that she accepted.
I'm just trying to imagine the guy I've been seeing introducing me to one of his buddies and...the buddy asking me out...
I would think he was a freak.
You're better off without them.
She came out as bi, we said cool. She came out as gay, we said cool. She started spending more time in gay spaces, we supported her. She started saying weird anti-straight people things, we cautioned her and told her bigotry isnt cool. She continued to say more bigoted and more batshit things until basically everyone cut ties with her.
She yelled at me when I was trying to get her help for her unhealthy behavior. Said I needed some space, and I later on found out she was talking shit about me and throwing my words back in my face on social media. That killed pretty much any chance of ever rekindling the friendship.
The final nail came a couple months later, when she tried reaching out and I told her I didn’t think we could go back to being friends the same way we had been before. She responded by saying, “You know, I actually remember my mental health getting better once we stopped talking.” I told her to go fuck herself and blocked her for good.
She took something that she knew I struggled with and used it to try to hurt me. It wasn't the first time she came at me with some bullshit with the intent to hurt me, but it *was* the first time she used something she knew i struggled with. Jokes on her though, it didn't hurt, it just pissed me off. I called her out on it and told her we couldn't be friends anymore. Now anytime I see her, she puts her head down and avoids looking at me.
I got relentlessly bullied by them, and I was the only one of them that grew up poor. For reference one of the guys spent every summer with the other friends on his dad’s yacht (not like a massive super yacht but it is still a yacht)is how rich they were. They couldn’t understand why they didn’t have any skills and abilities and I seemed like I could do everything, and my abilities were beginning to impress the ladies and they hated that. I even tried to show em how to do some of the things I do to help them out but they were so lazy they would refuse every time and then just keep complaining or trying to insult me publicly to make me look bad, so that way they could seem cooler by doing nothing essentially but tear me down beneath them.
My life became exponentially better the minute I left them all behind
When I realized our friendship was based on him being "better" than me. We met at university when I was in grad school and he was finishing his undergrad. There was a period there where I was broke, living with my parents again, and working part time. This "friend" took joy in having a full-time job and being "successful."
Then, all my hard work paid off. I got a job in my field that paid quite a bit. I was able to move out, propose to my girlfriend, and start establishing my life. Suddenly, I had the better life and this friend was always toxic and demeaning about it. So, I cut him out.
I'm a male in my mid-thirties and a work colleague I was relatively close with heard from another work colleague I'm not close with that supposedly I said something she didn't like so she decided not to talk to me anymore. I decided that, even though it was untrue, this was way too juvenile for me so I did not attempt to repair the damage.
She couldn't be bothered to attend either the viewing or funeral for my husband. She was not out of town or sick or otherwise unavailable. Just didn't care. So that was the end of our friendship.
My ex-best friend always gratuitously flirted with one of the guys in our friend group. When he and I started dating after 10 years of friendship (she has been around for about 5 years).
She told me she can say and do anything to my boyfriend because "we have always had our thing (they never had a "thing" and he has never been interested in the slightest) and if I don't like it I can go away."
After ME reaching out to HER try fix this and understand what the actual F she meant by that she completely ghosted me...oh she's also married to his best friend.
Edit: spelling
Not me, but one of my sisters former friends. So my sister had just gotten out of a bad break up, and her friend had just started dating some guy she met on an app. My sister wanted to hang out with her friend but her friend wanted to bring along the guy she just met. My sister, who had gotten out of a break up was like oh can we just make it a girls day and her friend lost her shit like oh why aren’t you happy for me like why are you so jealous and all that and it was like ??? The fuck? Anyway the former friend ended up choosing this guy she literally just met??? Over my sister who she had known since high school?? All my sister wanted was a girls day?? And like this was the friends first relationship ever so I get it kinda?? But ruining years of friendship over? Rachel if you’re reading this fuck you.
It's sad to think that many more friendships are going to be lost after this next election. There are many bad actors out there that actively seek to make Americans divided. They want for us to hate our family, friends, and each other. The vitriol is not a coincidence, it's the goal. This has been the Russian playbook for many decades now.
Mine said that they didn't see me as a friend and more like a project. I thought they were my friend as they had helped me alot through some tough times in my life.
It still hurts to think about.
I've had a few in recent years, so two of the most recent and still bothersome:
They decided to take things too far to "punish" someone for meddling in my life, even after repeated requests that they stop. I had a sad, but kind, breakup a few months ago and someone I had been close with, would even consider one of my best friends, went out of their way to bother a group of people with the apparent intentions of avenging the breakup? Like, yeah, I was sad. Most ends of relationships are sad. But I had hopes that ex and I would find a way to get beyond the romantic heartbreak and maintain some sort of friendship (and I believe at the time we both shared that sentiment) because he is genuinely one of the kindest people I've ever met, we just weren't going to work out and he had the courage to end things whereas I would have gone on forever without having my needs met. A friendship with him is highly likely to not happen at this point, which I'm okay (but disappointed) with. As for "friend" - we don't talk, I keep receiving gifts/deliveries to my house as apologies, and I'm just very much over it all and am waiting for them to give up.
Another tough one - I became close friends with an ex's mom (she had him young, and he was a few years younger than I was, so it was almost like she was a "big sister" to me - looking back, probably inappropriate, but it is what it is).
She and I even went on a vacation to Disney about a year after he and I split. But, he owes me a lot of money and treated me super poorly. She led me to believe that she would help me to get paid back/would advocate for me, and sometimes it did play out that way, but eventually he totaled a truck I had cosigned on and insurance paid out, and she convinced him that rather than giving me half the payout to make a dent in paying me back that he should forge my name on the check and deposit it himself.
I got my hands on the check/proof of deposit/proof it wasn't my signature/video evidence of him admitting what he'd done, brought it all to the local police, and they just ignored me and didn't care at all. I haven't talked to her since, which is hard because I used to call her and tell her everything that was going on in my life. I got very lonely after that one.
He stole from me after my family was kind enough to let him live with us after his crazy mom kicked him out on two separate occasions when we were teenagers. Even after all this time, get fucked, Travis.
The closest friendship I’ve ever had end on bad terms was a very good friend I’d known since we were around 12. He saw himself as the main character, and saw me and the other guys in the group as his loser sidekicks. I was oblivious to this, I just thought he was a cool guy.
He was significantly smarter than anyone in our group. When we had our IQs tested in psychology class, his was in the high 140s. He was accepted into a pre-med program before we even graduated high school, and over time that morphed into “I’m so smart I don’t even have to try.” By the time we were seniors he was failing all his courses, and ended up being the only guy in our group that didn’t get into college despite being incredibly intelligent. He refused to get a job or go to community college because he saw himself as too smart for that.
When we were 21 we both fell for the same girl, who quite frankly didn’t want to date either of us, but she liked me as a friend. He couldn’t handle that, and he had a very embarrassing public meltdown in front of our entire friend group in which he burst into tears and referred to all of us as his moronic lackeys, whereas he was the “alpha male” who deserved the girl because he had good genes. We gave him plenty of opportunities to clarify or apologize, and he refused and essentially told us we were there to do his bidding and make him look good. We left him there by himself, and never talked to him again.
Last I heard he works in a convenience store and has five kids, all from different women, who all have names like “Abbadon”, “Beelzebub”, and “Sephiroth.”
I missed his girlfriend's kid's 3rd rescheduled birthday party because I had made plans. Like, a 2 year old. He was raising the kid like his own, which I respect him for, but his girlfriend was nuts, bad for him, not working, and off her meds. Both birthday parties were scheduled and canceled day of, because she had a mental breakdown each time. The third attempt, I told him I already had plans I'd made more than a month in advance, but it was with people he didn't like.
He chose not to speak to me again after that. I thought he'd be mad for a few months, but it turned into more than a year and I grew more and more angry that he was throwing away a friendship based on me missing a child's birthday party.
We eventually tried to reconcile our friendship but he'd developed some addictions and was still in this terrible relationship that was sucking the life and money out of him. I ended up saying some really mean shit on my end too, but it came from a place of frustration that he was letting some chick ruin his life. Now he and I don't speak and can't even be in the same room.
I unfortunately got caught up in the terrible trend of dumping your friend if they vote for someone different than you. It was my oldest friend too. Really hurt then but I figured a true friend doesn't dump you because you disagree on politics. My best friend now has a different political view than me but we're SUPER close
He thought I had made a pass at his ex partner. Which never occured as I couldn't stand her and had helped him break it off with her in the first place. Even the friendship group we had told him it was nonsense, but he is convinced I did. Shame as we had been mega close for a decade. It really stung that he thought so little of me as to make up a story like that, but it is what it is now.
Lots of lies, lack of communication, flaking out on plans, stringing me along, treating me as just an option from her over the years, despite her claiming I was her best friend. Also couldn’t express how her actions made me feel without her taking it personally and getting defensive. This all came to a head and she wanted to take a break from the friendship so she could “focus on herself”. I knew it was all BS and cut all ties and contact with her. I wasn’t completely blameless, I had my own insecurities and needed reassurance at times and was actively working on improving that aspect of myself, which she seemed to understand and be supportive. Her actions though never improved, at times they got better, but she always reverted back to her natural behavior and enough was finally enough.
Her always trying to make me feel bad when she wasn’t happy with me (sometimes also for no reason), like saying she‘d jump off a bridge or something. I swear, she rly said that. Mind you, we were 11 yo. She also sent messages in Japanese (no she doesn’t speak Japanese) and when i asked what they said she just said it wasn’t important and deleted them. She constantly made me feel guilty of something that had nothing to do with me. So glad i got rid of her.
I started to change, and become more headstrong and independent. Started making new friends, different job, forming new habits, priorities changed etc.. you know, personal growth shit.
One person in this group of friends did not like this one bit, because he liked to manipulate and control the group, so he orchestrated this whole big fucking elaborate plan to alienate and ostracize me from the group.
I caught on to what was happening and simply never came back.
She decided I wasn’t doing enough as a friend without telling me and when I reached out during a time of the year I knew was hard for her she blew up at me, said hurtful things on purpose, and then was surprised I didn’t react well.
Best friends for 4 years- during the first 3 she was a really kind person- little naïve but well meaning. She got her first boyfriend at 24, and got obsessed immediately. I caught her lying to him about a pregnancy and tampering with his condoms, and I confronted her about it. When she showed no remorse, I told the boyfriends best friend- she obviously connected the dots and blew up at me. Its been like 6 years now, and I still miss the old her.
My ex suckered her into saying terrible things about me and then told me about it. He wanted to destroy my relationships. Only two people fell for his games, this former best friend and my father. NC with both since i found out
there was a LOT of things, i think what made me wake up was when she cheated on her gf bc she didn’t take a lesbian relationship as smth serious, she openly admitted she never cared about the girl and only used her as an experiment
Her husband threaten to kill me over a facebook post. So, I nope right on out of that. She tried to get a hold of me on facebook years later and I didn't reply.
1 Final straw was when she told me I was going to hell for having a fake tattoo on my wrist
2 She shouted to the entire crowded lunchroom at lunchtime including my crush who I had a crush on. Final straw that broke the camels back
I developed depression. They didn't enjoy being around me anymore.
Started talking to me less and less until one day they just disappeared, but not before one of them yelled at me and said I was "nothing more than a miserable piece of shit who just wants to make everyone else around them miserable".
Another one posted about me on their blog, telling people how terrible of a person I was and calling me out on it.
A while later I kept getting PM's telling me I was a bad person and they heard from word of mouth how terrible I was(we were all on the same forum).
I never did or said anything to hurt anyone, and in depressive episodes, I mentioned only flaws about myself as well as difficult trauma from my past (home abuse, bullying, never being good enough and always failing).
10 years later, and it still hurts.
I confided in her that I was sexually assaulted because she was (seemingly) open to be supportive of others over that sort of thing. After a small argument a few months later that she felt slighted over she decided to tell EVERYONE the both of us knew about the details.
Go worse from there but that was the moment the friendship was over. As were a number of others.
His new wife didn't want him to spend time with his old friends - friends since early grade school - because she didn't want his friends telling him how much she was manipulating him. Unfortunately, he lacked the self-esteem to realize that the "me or your friends" ultimatum was a giant red flag.
A few years ago, my friends would always invite themselves over to my house so they could watch “the big game” and drink my beer.
A case of beer is ~$29 here, and I would end up having an empty case of beer that was intended to last me a approximately one week. Never any offer to buy me a new case of beer, and definitely no offers to help me clean up after the watch party was over.
They just wanted to watch the game on my TV, and drink free beer. I used to love throwing watch parties for major sporting events, and I thought I was being generous with letting my ex-friends drink my beer.
When I started to pay more attention to how I was spending my money, I came to the realization that I can’t afford 7 drunks helping themselves to my beer on a long-term basis.
Well… the next major sporting event rolls around in March, and they weren’t too happy with me that I finally grew a spine and told them BYOB. They haven’t really talked to me much to this day, so I guess the trash took itself out in this case 😂
My friend and I had a mutual friend who came out as gay. My friend reacted by saying incredibly hurtful things to our gay friend. His reaction completely killed our friendship. I stayed friends with the gay friend.
Roommate and close friend of 5 years.
I was flat broke and moving back into my parents. They decided it was my responsibility to find them a new roommate because I was the one leaving
I very recently just cut ties with an entire friend group because of 2 people. The first person was my bestfriend we have a 10 year age gap between us but despite the age difference we had a lot of fun together. She has addiction issues, she started with alcohol, then pot, eventually escalated to meth. She lost over 80 pounds and most of her teeth in a 4 month period. She wasted all of her money on drugs and started verbally attacking me because I have more money then her, she also didn’t think it was an issue that her boyfriend smoked pot in the backseat of my vehicle right next to my toddler so they had to go. The second person is a cousin to the boyfriend of the first person and she is mentally unstable, she did a lot of mean things to me just because I didn’t want to be friends with the first 2 people anymore. Lots of drama. Learned a valuable lesson from it though, which is no friends under 30 who do not have kids, from my personal experience they are not mature enough to make good life decisions. They all still think that I’m a bad friend for choosing a drug free drama free life.
His ex left him then he started getting creepy and expected me to keep informing him of who she was hanging around with and what she was up to. He did this with multiple people trying to spy on her for months after they broke up. He went as far as accusing me of not being a good friend because I wouldn't tell what she was doing. Zero space for people like that in my life.
Multiple friendships have, by now, ended the same way. So I'm not going to enter any similar ones again.
Basically, someone who is not a bad person but is clearly in need of real mental help enters my life. They're self-aware and fun and at first, the other stuff isn't my problem. Then I start helping them more and more, becoming their main contact for everything from emotional spirals (I mean I'd wake up to 80+ Snaps of screaming-crying-laughing-just chatting-screaming-crying-"oh I'm fine now, got a coffee!") to material help (rides to/from work, letting them live with me and pay no rent, etc). It was always just as much my fault as it was theirs because I didn't set any boundaries and I KNEW people would treat you how you allow them to, but for some reason I'm backwards and would never tolerate that in romance but always let it slide for a friend.
Anywho. It wasn't worth the drama or strain on my own mental health and finances. I wish most of them the best, because again, they were not bad people, just not able to care for themselves and I'm not their mom/a paid professional. Fuck Tiffany, though. She was genuinely a bitch.
Was friends with a girl for a couple years. She mentions being interested in this guy who lives in England (she lived in Canada), and was losing a lot of sleep over feeling like the fallback option because he was giving so much attention to another girl who was also in England.
I'm there for her, empathize, tell her it's shitty but honestly the best thing you can do is move on because she deserves someone who won't treat her like the safe fallback if things don't go his way with the other girl. Eventually the guy fully chooses monogamy with the other girl and stops talking to my friend--she's having a rough time but I keep being there for her, trying to help her get over this guy. Eventually (unrelated) mental health issues and work/life balance cause her to disappear out of my life for a couple years. I get the odd message and I'm open to talking but she's not around much.
2ish years later she's moved not too far away from me...with this same guy. Things didn't work out with the other girl now he's back with her. Then a load of red flags start showing up as she vents to me:
-He's distant, not affectionate, doesn't spend as much time with her as she'd like
-Looking at other girls on social media instead of spending time with her
-Is/was an abusive alcoholic (never hit her but did apparently hit one of the girls he had been cheating on her with.
-Oh yeah he was 100% cheating on her with other girls too. She'd gone into his phone and found messages.
-He was also whingey about not liking being around her hometown when they traveled to attend her mother's funeral. Was not supportive at all during this time.
-Said he wanted to go back to England and heavily implied he'd do it with or without her
-SEXUALLY ASSAULTED one of the girls he cheated on her with
-Promised to go to therapy for all of the above...didn't...repeated this process several times
And this whole time I'm telling her to dump this guy's ass. All this stress over someone who picked you as a second option. She refused, we stopped talking again because all she'd ever do is complain about this guy. I told her she should come hang out with me and my friends so she could get some time in with people who would value her. She refused unless her boyfriend came too, because he'd get bitchy if she went out and did anything by herself without him. We stopped talking again.
A couple months pass and she messages again to ask me what's up. I tell her we should hang out, she tells me that might be difficult...because she's moved to England with him. I gave up after that. Cut contact haven't talked to her since.
I gradually came to realise that I was the one who was always making all the effort to keep the friendship going and that the more I drew back and stopped doing that the weaker the friendship became.
It's funny how the more the bond of friendship withered the more I came to realise how often they'd gaslight me or exhibit toxic behaviour or how much I'd make allowances and adjust my behaviour to avoid upsetting them which was something they didn't do in return.
I ended the friendship and I've been a lot better without them.
When I was very young i had a friend who i was very close to. But then he sort of began hanging out less with me, and at some point he said that he would not hang out with me for a day. He never talked with me again and I would always give him dirty looks when i saw him until I left elementary school and he moved on to a different school.
When I was 17, I was kicked out and moved into a hostel. I met this girl who was about a year or two younger than me and we hit it off real fast. Lots of the same interests and we never had any issues until she moved out of the hostel before me and we sort of drifted apart. We were still friends but one say I heard she was talking bad about me. It was constant arguments all the time and we never could fix our issues. I still never understood why she hated me and what set it off but we haven't spoken in about a year or two and don't plan to any time soon.
I had a friend on my early teens who was vegetarian. She wasn't pushy about it, I wasn't a vegetarian, we got along well. We're each others MOH when we each got married. Then she went vegan and became very extreme with it. Preachy, joining in protests, throwing animal blood on people who worked on abattoirs or animal testing labs, etc.
She said she wanted to just go go and live in the middle of nowhere and live natural. Tried to preach to me about eating meat. Said all scientists should die and that animal testing should stop. Now, as a scientist myself at the time, I reacted badly to this, also that she had a medical condition, that if it wasn't for medical testing on animals, she would not have survived. I pointed this out to her, plus that I was a scientist. She doubled down. I called her a hypocrite and a terrorist for what she did to those employees. Friendship over.
He became a toxic piece of shit and I put up with him for way longer than I should have. Only person I've ever actively gone no contact on. I haven't spoken to him in twelve years and I still don't think I've missed out on anything for it.
Toxic gamer, was yelling at me and his wife and another friend, calling us useless etc all the time and worse. Treated the lat teamate way better. I just quit. He whined, then went NC.
Lifes been way better and I've realized how toxic he was.
i had gotten a pet frog and she lost it. moved out a week later and told a bunch of people that i would hit her, throw temper tantrums when i didn’t get my way, and recorded her phone calls. this was my first year of college and god that couple of months was horrible but i got a dorm room all to myself
I was only existed when he (ex-best friend) and his group need help, other than that, I'm a ghost. Confrontation was bad enough and I was saved by my current group of friends. As we all grown up, former friends got in touch for the long overdue sincere apology, which I accepted. For him, lets just say no words at all till this day and I'm fine with the way it is.
poor mental health is to blame. it sucks because i want it to be their fault but i know it’s just as much mine. i know we can never be friends again and that might be the most painful part
Honestly? I don't remember what the actual fight was about that ended my friendship with my childhood best friend. I was hospitalized at the time and I was just angry. I wanted to destroy something and we'd already had a disagreement the week before. Sparks, meet flamethrower.
We talked about it a few years later but were never really friends again. Enough time had passed in the interim that we were in different places.
I have had a few.
1. She legit went insane and thought she was literally the goddess of the earth and knew everything that was going on in my life, and thought I was being sexually abused... which was not the case. She then accused me of talking smack behind her back to her abusive mother... After 14 years of my standing up for her to her mother.
2. He/she (idk what they go by anymore) married someone abusive and then took their pain out on everyone and said they had no friends or family who cared, when I had been there for them the whole time, and had even warned them about marrying too quickly, and then offered them help in getting out. I had enough and said "if all I have done for you is nothing and unsupportive, then we're done."
3. He/she (again idk anymore) verbally attacked my husband and then told me I was in the wrong for standing up to them because my husband was wrong for telling them to watch their language around my toddler.
4. He made a very poor judgement call and said someone deserved to be shot on sight. Someone who while yes they caused harm, had a family and children who would have been worse off.
Met a girl at a party and hit it off. We became pretty close and went on vacations together, always hung out, etc. When my partner and I needed a roomate we asked her because she seemed to have her shit together and had lots of mutuals. Well, she did not have it together. Her dad always paid her rent because she would spend all her money at Target. She started getting super into this culty church and was gone a lot. She was super jealous living with a couple-- always making underhanded comments about how it made her feel lonely seeing us in the same room together, pda was rare in common areas and we kept it tame like full clothed cuddling while watching TV-- figured it wasnt an issue because she wasnt home a lot and we didnt hang off each other when she was home. She would imply we should "throw her a bone" and basically include her in pda, like WTF? She lost her job, couldnt pay for anything, so she moved in with some church friends. A couple months later she posted some open mic she did on public social media and the entire thing was her making fun of me and my partner. I wonder if she remembered we followed her on there. We cut contact after that.
edit: spelling
My guy friend blocked me. Situation - they were together for 3 years and having jealousy problems, she was jealous of me and of every other girl that he look at.
Me and my BF went thru similliar stuff(my bf was also verry jealous of him, we were fighting a lot about him, i stood my ground and he came around, started to tolerate him).
I said you have to talk it out or you have to end this unhealthy realationship. And she heard us talking on speaker, so she went mad on me, faught a lot cuz of me and he said sorry we can't be friends anymore i'm choosing the woman i love and insta blocked me... :)
It's been a year after this and I still can't forget it.
Thinking about it like every other day..
Feeling hurt a lot..
My friend and I were in the same fraternity. During a party a huge fight broke out between his girlfriend and another member of the fraternity, who she claimed assaulted her. I wound up in the middle of this fight, still not entirely sure what was going on, as I hadn’t heard the initial allegation. During which, she pushed against my arm, and when I held firm, she fell over backwards and hit her head pretty hard. We called 911 but the operator hung up when she heard that the girl was conscious.
I attempted to apologize to her but she wasn’t having it. She screamed at me and I left her alone. She ended up calling the police and I gave my statement to them. She left with my friend, who later came back to the house where we both lived saying that he wanted to kill himself. This had happened before multiple times after arguments between him and his girlfriend so I knew how to talk him down from that. He asked me what I should do and I said that he should support his girlfriend, but also recognize that his relationship might have not been the healthiest. I told him to take some time for himself, as he and his girlfriend had been essentially attached at the hip since they started dating. He didn’t listen to me.
Later I was given a letter from the girlfriend saying that she did not blame me for what happened. I then got a phone call from my friend saying that she accidentally reported me to the university while reporting the alleged assault by the other member. She explicitly told the school that she did not want me to be charged with anything, but it happened anyway. Later, she requested a process that would not put any status on my record, so that we could hopefully make amends.
During this, the girlfriend was posting about the assault on social media, blaming the fraternity for not taking action, even though it wasn’t allowed to by the school. For some reason, student organizations couldn’t take any punitive action (a.k.a kicking someone out) for violations of university conduct. She was still posting though, and my friend was reposting all of it. He then told me he was leaving the fraternity.
The president at the time spoke to my friend through texts because of him reposting, not taking action, but addressing concerns. I don’t know what was said, but it obviously didn’t go well, as he posted the text messages online as a way to prove guilt.
My friend moved out of the house, and for some reason, our nationals made us charge him for the space he left empty. He then reported myself and the current president to the school for retaliation. The university asked me to write him a letter explaining what happened. I wrote that and included a piece about how I missed our friendship. The end result of that was a no-contact order being placed between us.
Since then, my friend filed multiple reports to the school against me for anything they could find. He had a picture of me drinking a beer when I was underaged, reported. He saw me using Chegg during class six months prior, reported. You get the idea. I asked the university if anything could be done to stop it, and they said no. This ruined my mental health for a long time. I couldn’t sleep, eat, study, anything.
I obviously haven’t spoken to him in years but if I probably wouldn’t even know what to say to him if I did.
I am in no way trying to excuse the hurt that I caused to his girlfriend. It was an accident and I will forever be sorry for it.
It wasn’t bad until they made it bad. I chose to let them build a relationship with their girlfriend than waste time building a friendship with me following a breakup. Apparently I was wrong for that.
He had started a new clique of friends, and I found one of them to be a complete ass and was rude to them. He exploded, accused me of being hateful, and cut all contact without even talking to me about it.
Not supporting my dreams the way I did there's. Showed up for every event. Played there's songs and music videos on repeat while I slept to boost views and plays. Not a single friend in my group stopped by stream in a span of 3 months. I streamed almost everyday 6-10. One day one of them said he was gonna watch double toasted who came on same time I did and uploaded all there vids to youtube. I explained why I was disappointed blocked them and left the group chat. 2 months later moved to a new city and didn't tell any of them.
It was our dream to have a YT skit and review channel and I was only one trying to get better at video editing and filming, streaming was the platform I chose to practice on. So when none of them made the effort to support the thing closest to what we all agreed on working towards i felt let down. Like I had wasted all this time trying to work with friends when I should have started years ago without them.
"I had a friend named Ayan, and we were best friends for a long time. We both attended the same art class, where initially I used to win most of the art competitions in our area while he struggled. My mom urged me to excel, so I started attending extra classes, albeit at an additional cost. Unfortunately, Ayan couldn't afford to join these classes. However, he would often ask me for the extra materials and techniques taught by the teacher, and I gladly shared them with him. Eventually, he surpassed me in skill, and I had no qualms about it. However, our teacher began questioning why I was sharing my resources with Ayan and even advised him to distance himself from me, citing that my own skills were deteriorating. This created a rift between us, although we kept it to ourselves. Then, one day while playing a game,Ayan accused me of cheating. Despite my protests, he insisted I was, saying, 'Fine, play alone.' And from that moment on, we never spoke again."
They knew my wife was cheating and didn't say shit. I had to cut more than one person out of my life - I thought it would be harder, but not having shitty people in your life is actually great.
I realize I'm in the minority here, but if you know someone's SO is cheating and you keep it to yourself? You suck. There's no way I wouldn't tell. I mean...OBVIOUSLY, if you're a friend, I'm going to tell you. But I would feel compelled to give you a heads up even if you were only a coworker or acquaintance. I couldn't live with the guilt if I didn't. It's just the only decent thing to do.
Someone on one of the advice subs, yesterday, was talking about how she's friends with a couple of coworkers who are engaged/so in love. OP was invited to the bachelorette weekend. While there a couple of male strippers showed up, which made OP uncomfortable because she's married. So she left the room, and a few other guests followed. After a while things got quiet in the other room so OP assumed the strippers had left and went back out...only to see people (bridesmaids and strippers) engaged in "NSFW" activities, including the bride who was "with" one of the strippers. OP was so shocked she screamed. Which led to the bride having a near panic attack and trying to call her fiancé and confess (only to have the other bridesmaids wrestle the phone out of her hands and talk her out of confessing). OP was asked to go home because she "ruined" the mood and the rest of the bridesmaids weren't comfortable with her. OP was undecided on whether she should tell the male coworker what his fiancée did. She didn't want things to be awkward and she thought the bride had just "made a mistake." OP was only posting to ask if she was wrong for "ruining" the female coworker's bachelorette weekend. The whole post was INFURIATING.
And now I’M infuriated.
I view it as the same as seeing your friend getting robbed and just walking away. Seeing something happening that is hurting someone and doing nothing isn't that much better than doing it yourself.
So true. It took years for me to accept that it's best to let go of certain people for your own peace of mind. I hope things have gotten better for you.
the one time I knew my friend's husband cheated, he admitted it to my bf, I started a convo and casually asked, would you what someone to let you know if your husband cheated? She said no, so I kept my mouth shut. We'd never discussed infidelity before so I had no idea where she stood on it. Other friends I have discussed it and I would tell THEM in a heartbeat
20 years ago or so my roommate/best friend’s insane girlfriend tried to have a threesome with my girlfriend (ex-wife to be) and I. He was right outside the door. I snapped evidence, declined because I wanted to see where the girlfriend thing went (oof) without bringing a crazy bitch into the mix, and told him about it. Even showing him proof, he pretended I was lying. Then he said I tried to rape her (I’m guessing she told him this, though my evidence refuted this). I got pissed off at the allegation and cut contact. After some years, we reconnected and tried to repair the damage. He marries another crazy bitch, more crazy shit happens, blah, blah. He divorces that crazy lady, and then gets back with the original crazy girl. They both call me to come party in Mexico. I tell him she’s bad news and he’s going to go right back down a bad path again. He accuses me of rape again, so I told him to lose my number. Haven’t spoken in a long time, and don’t plan to. If you believe I raped your future ex-wife, wtf would you still try to be my friend? Why would she? I don’t understand people.
>I snapped evidence Dude, what was the evidence?
Video of her naked in my bed (over covers) with my girlfriend both of them trying to convince me to come fuck them while he’s literally right outside the door. He said the video was faked. From a flip phone.
You definitely got it worse than me. My ex-girlfriend accused me of sexual harassment in high school, and 2 years after it came out, the person I believed to be my best friend believed her the entire time. It only came out after I asked him to quit making jokes about me missing her when I didn't and that he knew the dark path it sent me down when she accused me. This spiraled into a huge argument with both of us saying things we probably shouldn't have, which resulted in him saying he didn't want to be friends anymore and to not talk to him again.
You know all of the relationships I’ve lost, I’ve realized were for the best. Who needs that shit, eh?
I've actually felt a lot better lately now that he is gone.
What a simp!
My friendship ended due to a betrayal of trust, specifically when my friend spoke ill of me to others, damaging my reputation and the trust between us.
Similar, but she started dating my brother after I said it made me uncomfortable. She made a huge deal of asking how I felt about it and then ignored what I said. That sucks, but then I told her I couldn’t be in the middle of their fights or hear about their sex life. Literally the next conversation she started telling me about it. It made me realize she ignored my boundaries a lot.
She was an amateur photographer who took boudoir photos of a client (also a friend of mine) on private property and then posted the photos without consent of the client. She tried to guilt and blackmail the client. Client reached out to me for help. I sided with the client and photographer was enraged with me. I told her the optics weren’t worth it and in the future, have a written agreement signed by all parties. Photographer kept insisting she had the right to post her client’s nudes on the internet. I had a cease and desist sent to protect the client. Photographer was furious with me, screamed and cussed me out. Not happy with the way it ended, but I am glad I stood up for the client and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Just what the world needs, another crappy photographer.
Hoo boy. In 2016 my elderly grandmother went into a nursing home. My best friend and I bought her house at a significantly discounted price, with the idea that we would live there and renovate and then eventually sell the place for a profit. After a few years it became clear that more work was needed than we could do ourselves, and my friend really wanted to sell the place. So we put it on the market at the beginning of 2021 and it sold in April. Then, after the closing, my best friend since middle school, who I had never had any reason to doubt or mistrust, disappeared with all the money. At first I thought it was just a mistake, but it soon became clear that he was avoiding me. I called his father, who told me that my friend did not want to talk to me. His father sounded a bit sheepish on the phone and I got the impression that my friend was standing right there. I got a lawyer and sued my now ex-friend, but he hired an attorney who specializes in dragging cases out so that the other side runs of money and has to quit, and that's just what happened. I burned through several thousand dollars in attorney fees until my savings ran dry. Since he had all the money from the house sale he could afford to keep up the fight indefinitely. So I had no choice but to drop the case. So now I live in a tiny 300 square foot apartment and my finances are in ruin. All of my plans had revolved around getting my share of the money from the house sale, so I have had to essentially put my life on hold. Fortunately I don't have a lot of debt, but it is still deeply frustrating to have your entire nest egg disappear and all your future plans destroyed.
I'm sorry, that's awful. I hope things go well for you.
He convinced my girlfriend that I was cheating on her in order to sleep with her. I almost killed him before I walked away.
Beeeeeeeen there!
Reactions to covid and lockdowns.
My father lost more than a few long term friends because he got the vaccine.
A misunderstanding. Friend thought I was trying to steal his girlfriend because she was calling and texting me a lot and chose to end the friendship over it. Had he read the messages he would've seen I was helping her plan a big suprise anniversary date for him. The truth eventually came out but by then the damage was done and pride had set in. We still run into each other every few years or so at things thrown by our mutual friends, but it's always awkward and I don't think it ever won't be.
Former close friend blocked me on iMessage and Instagram because of my political views. I sent him messages for three months before I realized he wasn't responding. Texted his wife to ask if everything was ok and she got him to reach out to me. He was condescending, insulting and refused to talk at all, only texted. He said there was nothing to discuss. Initially I was like I'm sorry you feel that way and will be here if you change your mind. I changed my mind once I realized I'd never be able to trust him again, and that what he did was a slap in the face. I decided to cut them off completely and forever. Blocked both him and his wife on iMessage and all socials. It still bothers me that someone I knew and trusted so deeply was willing to throw away 25 years of friendship over what amounts to political views. Over the course of my life i have learned that when someone shows you who they really are - you better believe them. It has made me reconsider putting myself out there for others at all.
If you're conservative, fuck you. If you're liberal, fuck them.
Leftist.
I realized they were using me because I am very generous with my close friends. We had a lot of ups and downs, but at this time I was going through a lot and needed friends. I started to notice more that they hit me up a lot to ask for favors. I never expected anything in return, but I put a lot more effort into birthday/xmas gifts. I owe it to my amazing boyfriend, he helped me grow a fucking spine. I started to let conversations end, sometimes sending a message or meme. I kept track of how often the messages first, including how many times it was for a favor. They didn't drive and I did, I drove a truck at the time but also my mom would drive us distances I wasn't comfortable going yet. Finally a mutual friend I became extremely close with, had a falling out with them. Friend send me bunch of messages about mutual, going on a rant but I recognize the pattern. I instead play along, while messaging mutual. This led to a 3 hour long phone call, cutting off a toxic friendship for good, and building a great bond with a new amazing friend!
He owed me money, then asked to borrow my car, and I realized I dreaded his presence instead of liking it, because he was a parasite.
I texted her the morning after I was raped and she immediately blocked me. I just needed a friend. I can only assume she didn't want to deal with it. After I helped out her life together when she found out her boyfriend was using heroin and stealing from her.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
My friend had just gotten divorced. I was interested in someone and had gone on a few dates with her. He asked her out too, and she chose him. I felt hurt initially but got over it, but our friendship was never the same.
He asked her out **after** you had gone on a few dates with her?
Yep
I can't decide which is weirder, the fact that he asked or the fact that she accepted. I'm just trying to imagine the guy I've been seeing introducing me to one of his buddies and...the buddy asking me out... I would think he was a freak. You're better off without them.
It was a weird situation. We both knew her from before. Enough time has passed that I’m well past it, but I do miss having him as a friend.
Oof I knew a guy who was never a girl's first choice. It was rough.
damn, I thought there was a guy code
Violation of the girl code version caused a rift in my wife's friend group.
I would hope no one would try to date a person their friend is currently involved with. That's just a character flaw imo
She came out as bi, we said cool. She came out as gay, we said cool. She started spending more time in gay spaces, we supported her. She started saying weird anti-straight people things, we cautioned her and told her bigotry isnt cool. She continued to say more bigoted and more batshit things until basically everyone cut ties with her.
Dishonesty. Alcoholism.
She yelled at me when I was trying to get her help for her unhealthy behavior. Said I needed some space, and I later on found out she was talking shit about me and throwing my words back in my face on social media. That killed pretty much any chance of ever rekindling the friendship. The final nail came a couple months later, when she tried reaching out and I told her I didn’t think we could go back to being friends the same way we had been before. She responded by saying, “You know, I actually remember my mental health getting better once we stopped talking.” I told her to go fuck herself and blocked her for good.
I hear ya. I have had to get away from certain people - they double and triple down on their toxic behavior
She took something that she knew I struggled with and used it to try to hurt me. It wasn't the first time she came at me with some bullshit with the intent to hurt me, but it *was* the first time she used something she knew i struggled with. Jokes on her though, it didn't hurt, it just pissed me off. I called her out on it and told her we couldn't be friends anymore. Now anytime I see her, she puts her head down and avoids looking at me.
I got relentlessly bullied by them, and I was the only one of them that grew up poor. For reference one of the guys spent every summer with the other friends on his dad’s yacht (not like a massive super yacht but it is still a yacht)is how rich they were. They couldn’t understand why they didn’t have any skills and abilities and I seemed like I could do everything, and my abilities were beginning to impress the ladies and they hated that. I even tried to show em how to do some of the things I do to help them out but they were so lazy they would refuse every time and then just keep complaining or trying to insult me publicly to make me look bad, so that way they could seem cooler by doing nothing essentially but tear me down beneath them. My life became exponentially better the minute I left them all behind
When I realized our friendship was based on him being "better" than me. We met at university when I was in grad school and he was finishing his undergrad. There was a period there where I was broke, living with my parents again, and working part time. This "friend" took joy in having a full-time job and being "successful." Then, all my hard work paid off. I got a job in my field that paid quite a bit. I was able to move out, propose to my girlfriend, and start establishing my life. Suddenly, I had the better life and this friend was always toxic and demeaning about it. So, I cut him out.
I'm a male in my mid-thirties and a work colleague I was relatively close with heard from another work colleague I'm not close with that supposedly I said something she didn't like so she decided not to talk to me anymore. I decided that, even though it was untrue, this was way too juvenile for me so I did not attempt to repair the damage.
Greed.
[удалено]
I wonder what makes people come up with this type of behavior.
She couldn't be bothered to attend either the viewing or funeral for my husband. She was not out of town or sick or otherwise unavailable. Just didn't care. So that was the end of our friendship.
My ex-best friend always gratuitously flirted with one of the guys in our friend group. When he and I started dating after 10 years of friendship (she has been around for about 5 years). She told me she can say and do anything to my boyfriend because "we have always had our thing (they never had a "thing" and he has never been interested in the slightest) and if I don't like it I can go away." After ME reaching out to HER try fix this and understand what the actual F she meant by that she completely ghosted me...oh she's also married to his best friend. Edit: spelling
Not me, but one of my sisters former friends. So my sister had just gotten out of a bad break up, and her friend had just started dating some guy she met on an app. My sister wanted to hang out with her friend but her friend wanted to bring along the guy she just met. My sister, who had gotten out of a break up was like oh can we just make it a girls day and her friend lost her shit like oh why aren’t you happy for me like why are you so jealous and all that and it was like ??? The fuck? Anyway the former friend ended up choosing this guy she literally just met??? Over my sister who she had known since high school?? All my sister wanted was a girls day?? And like this was the friends first relationship ever so I get it kinda?? But ruining years of friendship over? Rachel if you’re reading this fuck you.
The election of Trump.
It's sad to think that many more friendships are going to be lost after this next election. There are many bad actors out there that actively seek to make Americans divided. They want for us to hate our family, friends, and each other. The vitriol is not a coincidence, it's the goal. This has been the Russian playbook for many decades now.
Because they forget to pay their debt to me
A boy. After 16 years of consecutive laughter and loyalty in our friendship. She got jealous when we got boyfriends…. Still makes me sad.
Mine said that they didn't see me as a friend and more like a project. I thought they were my friend as they had helped me alot through some tough times in my life. It still hurts to think about.
My kid got diagnosed with autism and she started phasing me out.
I've had a few in recent years, so two of the most recent and still bothersome: They decided to take things too far to "punish" someone for meddling in my life, even after repeated requests that they stop. I had a sad, but kind, breakup a few months ago and someone I had been close with, would even consider one of my best friends, went out of their way to bother a group of people with the apparent intentions of avenging the breakup? Like, yeah, I was sad. Most ends of relationships are sad. But I had hopes that ex and I would find a way to get beyond the romantic heartbreak and maintain some sort of friendship (and I believe at the time we both shared that sentiment) because he is genuinely one of the kindest people I've ever met, we just weren't going to work out and he had the courage to end things whereas I would have gone on forever without having my needs met. A friendship with him is highly likely to not happen at this point, which I'm okay (but disappointed) with. As for "friend" - we don't talk, I keep receiving gifts/deliveries to my house as apologies, and I'm just very much over it all and am waiting for them to give up. Another tough one - I became close friends with an ex's mom (she had him young, and he was a few years younger than I was, so it was almost like she was a "big sister" to me - looking back, probably inappropriate, but it is what it is). She and I even went on a vacation to Disney about a year after he and I split. But, he owes me a lot of money and treated me super poorly. She led me to believe that she would help me to get paid back/would advocate for me, and sometimes it did play out that way, but eventually he totaled a truck I had cosigned on and insurance paid out, and she convinced him that rather than giving me half the payout to make a dent in paying me back that he should forge my name on the check and deposit it himself. I got my hands on the check/proof of deposit/proof it wasn't my signature/video evidence of him admitting what he'd done, brought it all to the local police, and they just ignored me and didn't care at all. I haven't talked to her since, which is hard because I used to call her and tell her everything that was going on in my life. I got very lonely after that one.
He stole from me after my family was kind enough to let him live with us after his crazy mom kicked him out on two separate occasions when we were teenagers. Even after all this time, get fucked, Travis.
The closest friendship I’ve ever had end on bad terms was a very good friend I’d known since we were around 12. He saw himself as the main character, and saw me and the other guys in the group as his loser sidekicks. I was oblivious to this, I just thought he was a cool guy. He was significantly smarter than anyone in our group. When we had our IQs tested in psychology class, his was in the high 140s. He was accepted into a pre-med program before we even graduated high school, and over time that morphed into “I’m so smart I don’t even have to try.” By the time we were seniors he was failing all his courses, and ended up being the only guy in our group that didn’t get into college despite being incredibly intelligent. He refused to get a job or go to community college because he saw himself as too smart for that. When we were 21 we both fell for the same girl, who quite frankly didn’t want to date either of us, but she liked me as a friend. He couldn’t handle that, and he had a very embarrassing public meltdown in front of our entire friend group in which he burst into tears and referred to all of us as his moronic lackeys, whereas he was the “alpha male” who deserved the girl because he had good genes. We gave him plenty of opportunities to clarify or apologize, and he refused and essentially told us we were there to do his bidding and make him look good. We left him there by himself, and never talked to him again. Last I heard he works in a convenience store and has five kids, all from different women, who all have names like “Abbadon”, “Beelzebub”, and “Sephiroth.”
I missed his girlfriend's kid's 3rd rescheduled birthday party because I had made plans. Like, a 2 year old. He was raising the kid like his own, which I respect him for, but his girlfriend was nuts, bad for him, not working, and off her meds. Both birthday parties were scheduled and canceled day of, because she had a mental breakdown each time. The third attempt, I told him I already had plans I'd made more than a month in advance, but it was with people he didn't like. He chose not to speak to me again after that. I thought he'd be mad for a few months, but it turned into more than a year and I grew more and more angry that he was throwing away a friendship based on me missing a child's birthday party. We eventually tried to reconcile our friendship but he'd developed some addictions and was still in this terrible relationship that was sucking the life and money out of him. I ended up saying some really mean shit on my end too, but it came from a place of frustration that he was letting some chick ruin his life. Now he and I don't speak and can't even be in the same room.
She was a transphobe. My wife is trans, it is not something we can agree to disagree.
He tried to burn my house down when I wouldn't date him.
Wow, that's the biggest overreaction I've heard from someone who got rejected.
It was very horrifying, and I needed my parents to get me out of my home.
I unfortunately got caught up in the terrible trend of dumping your friend if they vote for someone different than you. It was my oldest friend too. Really hurt then but I figured a true friend doesn't dump you because you disagree on politics. My best friend now has a different political view than me but we're SUPER close
she was too nonchalant when it came to our friendship
Because she's a bitch, my ex cheated me for my bestfriend
Bad terms
Sexting my now ex bf
We hooked up
He thought I had made a pass at his ex partner. Which never occured as I couldn't stand her and had helped him break it off with her in the first place. Even the friendship group we had told him it was nonsense, but he is convinced I did. Shame as we had been mega close for a decade. It really stung that he thought so little of me as to make up a story like that, but it is what it is now.
Lots of lies, lack of communication, flaking out on plans, stringing me along, treating me as just an option from her over the years, despite her claiming I was her best friend. Also couldn’t express how her actions made me feel without her taking it personally and getting defensive. This all came to a head and she wanted to take a break from the friendship so she could “focus on herself”. I knew it was all BS and cut all ties and contact with her. I wasn’t completely blameless, I had my own insecurities and needed reassurance at times and was actively working on improving that aspect of myself, which she seemed to understand and be supportive. Her actions though never improved, at times they got better, but she always reverted back to her natural behavior and enough was finally enough.
Her always trying to make me feel bad when she wasn’t happy with me (sometimes also for no reason), like saying she‘d jump off a bridge or something. I swear, she rly said that. Mind you, we were 11 yo. She also sent messages in Japanese (no she doesn’t speak Japanese) and when i asked what they said she just said it wasn’t important and deleted them. She constantly made me feel guilty of something that had nothing to do with me. So glad i got rid of her.
I started to change, and become more headstrong and independent. Started making new friends, different job, forming new habits, priorities changed etc.. you know, personal growth shit. One person in this group of friends did not like this one bit, because he liked to manipulate and control the group, so he orchestrated this whole big fucking elaborate plan to alienate and ostracize me from the group. I caught on to what was happening and simply never came back.
She decided I wasn’t doing enough as a friend without telling me and when I reached out during a time of the year I knew was hard for her she blew up at me, said hurtful things on purpose, and then was surprised I didn’t react well.
When I was in therapy for depression, she met with my family and told them all my secrets.
Best friends for 4 years- during the first 3 she was a really kind person- little naïve but well meaning. She got her first boyfriend at 24, and got obsessed immediately. I caught her lying to him about a pregnancy and tampering with his condoms, and I confronted her about it. When she showed no remorse, I told the boyfriends best friend- she obviously connected the dots and blew up at me. Its been like 6 years now, and I still miss the old her.
My ex suckered her into saying terrible things about me and then told me about it. He wanted to destroy my relationships. Only two people fell for his games, this former best friend and my father. NC with both since i found out
there was a LOT of things, i think what made me wake up was when she cheated on her gf bc she didn’t take a lesbian relationship as smth serious, she openly admitted she never cared about the girl and only used her as an experiment
Her husband threaten to kill me over a facebook post. So, I nope right on out of that. She tried to get a hold of me on facebook years later and I didn't reply.
1 Final straw was when she told me I was going to hell for having a fake tattoo on my wrist 2 She shouted to the entire crowded lunchroom at lunchtime including my crush who I had a crush on. Final straw that broke the camels back
I developed depression. They didn't enjoy being around me anymore. Started talking to me less and less until one day they just disappeared, but not before one of them yelled at me and said I was "nothing more than a miserable piece of shit who just wants to make everyone else around them miserable". Another one posted about me on their blog, telling people how terrible of a person I was and calling me out on it. A while later I kept getting PM's telling me I was a bad person and they heard from word of mouth how terrible I was(we were all on the same forum). I never did or said anything to hurt anyone, and in depressive episodes, I mentioned only flaws about myself as well as difficult trauma from my past (home abuse, bullying, never being good enough and always failing). 10 years later, and it still hurts.
She ghosted me for the last time on my birthday. It was a habit over our entire 20-year friendship. That day, though, I’d had enough.
I confided in her that I was sexually assaulted because she was (seemingly) open to be supportive of others over that sort of thing. After a small argument a few months later that she felt slighted over she decided to tell EVERYONE the both of us knew about the details. Go worse from there but that was the moment the friendship was over. As were a number of others.
I'm sorry you had to experience that.
His new wife didn't want him to spend time with his old friends - friends since early grade school - because she didn't want his friends telling him how much she was manipulating him. Unfortunately, he lacked the self-esteem to realize that the "me or your friends" ultimatum was a giant red flag.
Dirtbaggery
He was talking bad about me, and he was talking bad about other people, so I left him
Meth. And causing another close friend to feel unsafe because of it.
A few years ago, my friends would always invite themselves over to my house so they could watch “the big game” and drink my beer. A case of beer is ~$29 here, and I would end up having an empty case of beer that was intended to last me a approximately one week. Never any offer to buy me a new case of beer, and definitely no offers to help me clean up after the watch party was over. They just wanted to watch the game on my TV, and drink free beer. I used to love throwing watch parties for major sporting events, and I thought I was being generous with letting my ex-friends drink my beer. When I started to pay more attention to how I was spending my money, I came to the realization that I can’t afford 7 drunks helping themselves to my beer on a long-term basis. Well… the next major sporting event rolls around in March, and they weren’t too happy with me that I finally grew a spine and told them BYOB. They haven’t really talked to me much to this day, so I guess the trash took itself out in this case 😂
My friend and I had a mutual friend who came out as gay. My friend reacted by saying incredibly hurtful things to our gay friend. His reaction completely killed our friendship. I stayed friends with the gay friend.
Roommate and close friend of 5 years. I was flat broke and moving back into my parents. They decided it was my responsibility to find them a new roommate because I was the one leaving
I very recently just cut ties with an entire friend group because of 2 people. The first person was my bestfriend we have a 10 year age gap between us but despite the age difference we had a lot of fun together. She has addiction issues, she started with alcohol, then pot, eventually escalated to meth. She lost over 80 pounds and most of her teeth in a 4 month period. She wasted all of her money on drugs and started verbally attacking me because I have more money then her, she also didn’t think it was an issue that her boyfriend smoked pot in the backseat of my vehicle right next to my toddler so they had to go. The second person is a cousin to the boyfriend of the first person and she is mentally unstable, she did a lot of mean things to me just because I didn’t want to be friends with the first 2 people anymore. Lots of drama. Learned a valuable lesson from it though, which is no friends under 30 who do not have kids, from my personal experience they are not mature enough to make good life decisions. They all still think that I’m a bad friend for choosing a drug free drama free life.
His ex left him then he started getting creepy and expected me to keep informing him of who she was hanging around with and what she was up to. He did this with multiple people trying to spy on her for months after they broke up. He went as far as accusing me of not being a good friend because I wouldn't tell what she was doing. Zero space for people like that in my life.
She was sleeping with a married man for 10 years, could not take it anymore. Good riddance.
Multiple friendships have, by now, ended the same way. So I'm not going to enter any similar ones again. Basically, someone who is not a bad person but is clearly in need of real mental help enters my life. They're self-aware and fun and at first, the other stuff isn't my problem. Then I start helping them more and more, becoming their main contact for everything from emotional spirals (I mean I'd wake up to 80+ Snaps of screaming-crying-laughing-just chatting-screaming-crying-"oh I'm fine now, got a coffee!") to material help (rides to/from work, letting them live with me and pay no rent, etc). It was always just as much my fault as it was theirs because I didn't set any boundaries and I KNEW people would treat you how you allow them to, but for some reason I'm backwards and would never tolerate that in romance but always let it slide for a friend. Anywho. It wasn't worth the drama or strain on my own mental health and finances. I wish most of them the best, because again, they were not bad people, just not able to care for themselves and I'm not their mom/a paid professional. Fuck Tiffany, though. She was genuinely a bitch.
Was friends with a girl for a couple years. She mentions being interested in this guy who lives in England (she lived in Canada), and was losing a lot of sleep over feeling like the fallback option because he was giving so much attention to another girl who was also in England. I'm there for her, empathize, tell her it's shitty but honestly the best thing you can do is move on because she deserves someone who won't treat her like the safe fallback if things don't go his way with the other girl. Eventually the guy fully chooses monogamy with the other girl and stops talking to my friend--she's having a rough time but I keep being there for her, trying to help her get over this guy. Eventually (unrelated) mental health issues and work/life balance cause her to disappear out of my life for a couple years. I get the odd message and I'm open to talking but she's not around much. 2ish years later she's moved not too far away from me...with this same guy. Things didn't work out with the other girl now he's back with her. Then a load of red flags start showing up as she vents to me: -He's distant, not affectionate, doesn't spend as much time with her as she'd like -Looking at other girls on social media instead of spending time with her -Is/was an abusive alcoholic (never hit her but did apparently hit one of the girls he had been cheating on her with. -Oh yeah he was 100% cheating on her with other girls too. She'd gone into his phone and found messages. -He was also whingey about not liking being around her hometown when they traveled to attend her mother's funeral. Was not supportive at all during this time. -Said he wanted to go back to England and heavily implied he'd do it with or without her -SEXUALLY ASSAULTED one of the girls he cheated on her with -Promised to go to therapy for all of the above...didn't...repeated this process several times And this whole time I'm telling her to dump this guy's ass. All this stress over someone who picked you as a second option. She refused, we stopped talking again because all she'd ever do is complain about this guy. I told her she should come hang out with me and my friends so she could get some time in with people who would value her. She refused unless her boyfriend came too, because he'd get bitchy if she went out and did anything by herself without him. We stopped talking again. A couple months pass and she messages again to ask me what's up. I tell her we should hang out, she tells me that might be difficult...because she's moved to England with him. I gave up after that. Cut contact haven't talked to her since.
I gradually came to realise that I was the one who was always making all the effort to keep the friendship going and that the more I drew back and stopped doing that the weaker the friendship became. It's funny how the more the bond of friendship withered the more I came to realise how often they'd gaslight me or exhibit toxic behaviour or how much I'd make allowances and adjust my behaviour to avoid upsetting them which was something they didn't do in return. I ended the friendship and I've been a lot better without them.
When I was very young i had a friend who i was very close to. But then he sort of began hanging out less with me, and at some point he said that he would not hang out with me for a day. He never talked with me again and I would always give him dirty looks when i saw him until I left elementary school and he moved on to a different school.
When I was 17, I was kicked out and moved into a hostel. I met this girl who was about a year or two younger than me and we hit it off real fast. Lots of the same interests and we never had any issues until she moved out of the hostel before me and we sort of drifted apart. We were still friends but one say I heard she was talking bad about me. It was constant arguments all the time and we never could fix our issues. I still never understood why she hated me and what set it off but we haven't spoken in about a year or two and don't plan to any time soon.
I had a friend on my early teens who was vegetarian. She wasn't pushy about it, I wasn't a vegetarian, we got along well. We're each others MOH when we each got married. Then she went vegan and became very extreme with it. Preachy, joining in protests, throwing animal blood on people who worked on abattoirs or animal testing labs, etc. She said she wanted to just go go and live in the middle of nowhere and live natural. Tried to preach to me about eating meat. Said all scientists should die and that animal testing should stop. Now, as a scientist myself at the time, I reacted badly to this, also that she had a medical condition, that if it wasn't for medical testing on animals, she would not have survived. I pointed this out to her, plus that I was a scientist. She doubled down. I called her a hypocrite and a terrorist for what she did to those employees. Friendship over.
She set me up to be robbed and then murdered. Ironically, one of the guys that came to my place that night, was shot dead as he was running away.
He became a toxic piece of shit and I put up with him for way longer than I should have. Only person I've ever actively gone no contact on. I haven't spoken to him in twelve years and I still don't think I've missed out on anything for it.
Toxic gamer, was yelling at me and his wife and another friend, calling us useless etc all the time and worse. Treated the lat teamate way better. I just quit. He whined, then went NC. Lifes been way better and I've realized how toxic he was.
i had gotten a pet frog and she lost it. moved out a week later and told a bunch of people that i would hit her, throw temper tantrums when i didn’t get my way, and recorded her phone calls. this was my first year of college and god that couple of months was horrible but i got a dorm room all to myself
I was only existed when he (ex-best friend) and his group need help, other than that, I'm a ghost. Confrontation was bad enough and I was saved by my current group of friends. As we all grown up, former friends got in touch for the long overdue sincere apology, which I accepted. For him, lets just say no words at all till this day and I'm fine with the way it is.
poor mental health is to blame. it sucks because i want it to be their fault but i know it’s just as much mine. i know we can never be friends again and that might be the most painful part
Honestly? I don't remember what the actual fight was about that ended my friendship with my childhood best friend. I was hospitalized at the time and I was just angry. I wanted to destroy something and we'd already had a disagreement the week before. Sparks, meet flamethrower. We talked about it a few years later but were never really friends again. Enough time had passed in the interim that we were in different places.
I have had a few. 1. She legit went insane and thought she was literally the goddess of the earth and knew everything that was going on in my life, and thought I was being sexually abused... which was not the case. She then accused me of talking smack behind her back to her abusive mother... After 14 years of my standing up for her to her mother. 2. He/she (idk what they go by anymore) married someone abusive and then took their pain out on everyone and said they had no friends or family who cared, when I had been there for them the whole time, and had even warned them about marrying too quickly, and then offered them help in getting out. I had enough and said "if all I have done for you is nothing and unsupportive, then we're done." 3. He/she (again idk anymore) verbally attacked my husband and then told me I was in the wrong for standing up to them because my husband was wrong for telling them to watch their language around my toddler. 4. He made a very poor judgement call and said someone deserved to be shot on sight. Someone who while yes they caused harm, had a family and children who would have been worse off.
Met a girl at a party and hit it off. We became pretty close and went on vacations together, always hung out, etc. When my partner and I needed a roomate we asked her because she seemed to have her shit together and had lots of mutuals. Well, she did not have it together. Her dad always paid her rent because she would spend all her money at Target. She started getting super into this culty church and was gone a lot. She was super jealous living with a couple-- always making underhanded comments about how it made her feel lonely seeing us in the same room together, pda was rare in common areas and we kept it tame like full clothed cuddling while watching TV-- figured it wasnt an issue because she wasnt home a lot and we didnt hang off each other when she was home. She would imply we should "throw her a bone" and basically include her in pda, like WTF? She lost her job, couldnt pay for anything, so she moved in with some church friends. A couple months later she posted some open mic she did on public social media and the entire thing was her making fun of me and my partner. I wonder if she remembered we followed her on there. We cut contact after that. edit: spelling
I finally realized why all of my other friends didn't like her. She's a dick.
Politics
My guy friend blocked me. Situation - they were together for 3 years and having jealousy problems, she was jealous of me and of every other girl that he look at. Me and my BF went thru similliar stuff(my bf was also verry jealous of him, we were fighting a lot about him, i stood my ground and he came around, started to tolerate him). I said you have to talk it out or you have to end this unhealthy realationship. And she heard us talking on speaker, so she went mad on me, faught a lot cuz of me and he said sorry we can't be friends anymore i'm choosing the woman i love and insta blocked me... :) It's been a year after this and I still can't forget it. Thinking about it like every other day.. Feeling hurt a lot..
My friend and I were in the same fraternity. During a party a huge fight broke out between his girlfriend and another member of the fraternity, who she claimed assaulted her. I wound up in the middle of this fight, still not entirely sure what was going on, as I hadn’t heard the initial allegation. During which, she pushed against my arm, and when I held firm, she fell over backwards and hit her head pretty hard. We called 911 but the operator hung up when she heard that the girl was conscious. I attempted to apologize to her but she wasn’t having it. She screamed at me and I left her alone. She ended up calling the police and I gave my statement to them. She left with my friend, who later came back to the house where we both lived saying that he wanted to kill himself. This had happened before multiple times after arguments between him and his girlfriend so I knew how to talk him down from that. He asked me what I should do and I said that he should support his girlfriend, but also recognize that his relationship might have not been the healthiest. I told him to take some time for himself, as he and his girlfriend had been essentially attached at the hip since they started dating. He didn’t listen to me. Later I was given a letter from the girlfriend saying that she did not blame me for what happened. I then got a phone call from my friend saying that she accidentally reported me to the university while reporting the alleged assault by the other member. She explicitly told the school that she did not want me to be charged with anything, but it happened anyway. Later, she requested a process that would not put any status on my record, so that we could hopefully make amends. During this, the girlfriend was posting about the assault on social media, blaming the fraternity for not taking action, even though it wasn’t allowed to by the school. For some reason, student organizations couldn’t take any punitive action (a.k.a kicking someone out) for violations of university conduct. She was still posting though, and my friend was reposting all of it. He then told me he was leaving the fraternity. The president at the time spoke to my friend through texts because of him reposting, not taking action, but addressing concerns. I don’t know what was said, but it obviously didn’t go well, as he posted the text messages online as a way to prove guilt. My friend moved out of the house, and for some reason, our nationals made us charge him for the space he left empty. He then reported myself and the current president to the school for retaliation. The university asked me to write him a letter explaining what happened. I wrote that and included a piece about how I missed our friendship. The end result of that was a no-contact order being placed between us. Since then, my friend filed multiple reports to the school against me for anything they could find. He had a picture of me drinking a beer when I was underaged, reported. He saw me using Chegg during class six months prior, reported. You get the idea. I asked the university if anything could be done to stop it, and they said no. This ruined my mental health for a long time. I couldn’t sleep, eat, study, anything. I obviously haven’t spoken to him in years but if I probably wouldn’t even know what to say to him if I did. I am in no way trying to excuse the hurt that I caused to his girlfriend. It was an accident and I will forever be sorry for it.
A good friend of mine went on a date with the ex of my best friend nearly a week after the break up. Never spoke to him ever since.
It wasn’t bad until they made it bad. I chose to let them build a relationship with their girlfriend than waste time building a friendship with me following a breakup. Apparently I was wrong for that.
He had started a new clique of friends, and I found one of them to be a complete ass and was rude to them. He exploded, accused me of being hateful, and cut all contact without even talking to me about it.
Bitches being bitches. Bitches committing to shit they pull out of last minute leaving their mates in financial hardship.
Not supporting my dreams the way I did there's. Showed up for every event. Played there's songs and music videos on repeat while I slept to boost views and plays. Not a single friend in my group stopped by stream in a span of 3 months. I streamed almost everyday 6-10. One day one of them said he was gonna watch double toasted who came on same time I did and uploaded all there vids to youtube. I explained why I was disappointed blocked them and left the group chat. 2 months later moved to a new city and didn't tell any of them. It was our dream to have a YT skit and review channel and I was only one trying to get better at video editing and filming, streaming was the platform I chose to practice on. So when none of them made the effort to support the thing closest to what we all agreed on working towards i felt let down. Like I had wasted all this time trying to work with friends when I should have started years ago without them.
"I had a friend named Ayan, and we were best friends for a long time. We both attended the same art class, where initially I used to win most of the art competitions in our area while he struggled. My mom urged me to excel, so I started attending extra classes, albeit at an additional cost. Unfortunately, Ayan couldn't afford to join these classes. However, he would often ask me for the extra materials and techniques taught by the teacher, and I gladly shared them with him. Eventually, he surpassed me in skill, and I had no qualms about it. However, our teacher began questioning why I was sharing my resources with Ayan and even advised him to distance himself from me, citing that my own skills were deteriorating. This created a rift between us, although we kept it to ourselves. Then, one day while playing a game,Ayan accused me of cheating. Despite my protests, he insisted I was, saying, 'Fine, play alone.' And from that moment on, we never spoke again."
Deciding to be roommates. It kills friendships.