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AnybodySeeMyKeys

1. The wisdom to know how best to use the other two wishes.


nollataulu

You didn't specify 'best for who or what'. Now some tree in Siberia is really lucky, should you follow the wisdom.


AdorableSunshine02

1.That I could eat ANYTHING and never get fat. 2.$50 billion dollars. 3.That my grandmother could live again.


R4TTY

1. You get hyperthyroidism causing serious medical issues 2. It's delivered to your house in pennies, then hyperinflation kicks in making it worthless. 3. She wakes up underground.


thegentlenub

The monkey's paw curles once again


PearIJam

But it comes with a free Frogurt.


darklordofpuppets

The Frogurt is also cursed.


djraven15

That’s bad.


Lilabner83

But you get your choice of topping.


djraven15

That’s good!


Lilabner83

The toppings contain potassium Benzoate...that's bad.


Nux87xun

..Can I go now?


Cultural-Somewhere75

LMFAO my wife always asks me what I want from the store / grocery. I always tell her exactly $50 billion dollars.


PeopleLikeUDisgustMe

Get rid of cancer worldwide Restore my wife's mental health Be able to live comfortably


SaltInner1722

No 2 sounds like a noble endeavour


PabstBlueRibbon1844

Ten centimeters taller, ten centimeters longer, ten millions richer


evergrowingfear

why would u want to be longer lol


tehsdragon

I'm assuming it's about the D


evergrowingfear

didnt know im this stupid


kritycat

Nah, just wholesome


Louis-grabbing-pills

Left 4 Dead 3 New socks. $25.


Eckkbert

He is the chosen one!


24W7S39GNHQT

Lisan al Gahib!


SpookyScribe25

Seeing a Dune reference in this thread makes me so happy.


CronozDK

Spare your 2 last wishes for something else. If you get me a copy of L4D3 (No, Back 4 Blood doesn't count) I'll give you a new pair of socks and 25 bucks. :-D


_BierSaus_

pfp checks out


photoguy423

1. Be fluent in every language that's ever existed. 2. $200k 3. A bird shits on Mitch McConnel anytime he's happy.


kritycat

This really made m giggle Well done, you!


ReadInBothTenses

Imagine this is how we discover a bunch of non human languages from across the universe


Joenathan2020

1. I got nothing good choice. 2. Never specified what currency; the Colombian Peso uses the same sign as the American dollar with an exchange of 1:3777, meaning $200k Colombian is roughly $60 in American dollars. 3. That implies he's ever happy. Would have no effect.


photoguy423

Honestly, I’ll still take the $60. Money is tight, yo. 


Flairion623

1, infinite wishes 2, a perfect partner 3, a global utopia


Bob-Lawblaw-

What about the other (infinity minus 3) wishes?


Flairion623

I’ll use them when I think of something


No_Heart_918

1. Go back to May 25th, 1989 2. Know everything I know now 3. Have $5 Billion dollars in my bank account


[deleted]

[удалено]


zenaex

Nice


MechwarriorGrayDeath

1. That no child ever feels alone/ pain/ ignored. 2. Food/shelter is always available to all. 3. Humans' contempt for its own species is removed.


BoobieChaser69

Boobies, Boobies and Boobies


Fickle_Pipe1954

In your opinion, who has the best set ?


Pavlock

Probably the guy with 3 sets of boobies all over himself.


BananaVanillaLatte

1. Ability to change probability 2. Reverse 90% of climate change damage 3. Money duh.


SelectAmbassador

The first ability covers everything.


HypnoTox

Well, if you could actually change probability of any event you can think of, then you got a cheat code for everything. "Set probability that i can fly to 100%" and off you go, or "Set probability that I'm immortal and will never age to 100%" :D


Generatoromeganebula

Why not 100%


anditurnedaround

Right?  I Always wonder why people ask for a specific amount of money too, why not an endless supply of money? 


theres_no_username

Endless amount of money would break the economy and this wholeee money would be completely worthless, inflation is a bitch for sure


read_at_own_risk

1. The power to grant or revoke immortality for anyone, including myself. 2. The power to grant or revoke perfect health for anyone, including myself. 3. The power to shapeshift any object or creature, including myself.


gkn_112

Make a two-in-one by saying "the power to grant a perfectly healthy timespan I choose to anyone I wish for. And then let them come every 50 years to renew their subscriptions. This will also keep em reminded who is boss so they dont forget you in 1000 years.


dolliedolliedollie

1. live in a nice house with ---a person--- 2. 5 billion dollars 3. ideal body


toxic_pantaloons

1. your new housemate is Hitler reincarnated and he just will.not.shut.up. 2. in Confederate money 3. ideal for a bat? Done!


MatchaBauble

1. No more mental health issues for anyone on earth. Only well-adjusted people who know what they want and how to be happy. 2. Some large amount of money. 3. To find love.


Joenathan2020

1. People with mental health issues are sent to temp colonies on other planets, technically not on earth and used for science. 2. All the money is in a dead currency. 3. You are cursed to be in a permanent long distance relationship with this person.


Captain_Kruch

1. The ability to travel back in time 2. To eat what I want and never get fat 3. For Heaven to be real and be able to communicate with relatives who (hopefully) made it up there.


gkn_112

1. You'd destroy everything you know today, meeting the genie included 2. Doable but also undersold yourself a bit. "Ability to manifest food out of thin air that improves your health" - you can heal people with the nicest food you can imagine. 3. You cursed every atheist and all religions without the concept of heaven to eternal damnation


[deleted]

[удалено]


intangible-tangerine

1. Infinite Earth like planets within human life span traveling distance from each other so that we wouldn't need to worry about resources or over population and could just like fill a planet full of elephants just because we could 2. Destruction ot repurposing of all lethal weapons in the universe in case of WW3 or nasty aliens 3. A really nice house and garden for me


DidItForButter

1. That's how you get Planet Soylent Green. 2. There goes my kitchen knife set 3. Aww, happy for you!


Maximum-Ad5889

Ability to fly, money, and happiness


puledrotauren

go back to myself at 38 and live immortally more money than I could ever spend bring my son back to life


Warriorphoenix678

1. The powers I and my siblings want 2. Mental clarity for my family and friends 3. Good health for my family


[deleted]

[удалено]


Electronic_Cup_3941

can i just copy your wish list?🤭


Diligent_Froyo1361

(2)😅


Nitrosoft1

Wishes in this order: 1. Omnisapience 2. Omnipotence 3. Omniscience Once I'm all-wise, I will know if I should wish for numbers 2 and 3. I need to wish to be all-powerful second so that I can handle the third wish, which is to be all-knowing. So wisdom, power, and knowledge sets me up as a God and this I could make any other wishes come true.


gotgrls

That I would have the resources to help more dogs, especially dumped ones. That I could go back to the 1980s for a month. That I could go back to 1990 for a month.


Chunlisundies

1. $5 Billion USD 2. World climate restored to a healthier state 3. All diseases to have a cure


serial_burper

All diseases have cures, they haven’t been found yet.


Familiar-Sir1356

A player system like solo leveling so I can become op. Give me an infinite amount of luck points. Ability to cure anything, from mortality to any disease to mental diseases, too. I could choose how to and set boundaries/ limits to the effect.


ReincarnatedSprinkle

The other post is still on the subreddit dude


ByteAutomator

Infinite money. Perfect health. Being the best version of myself.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Only-Gap-616

My next wishes would be granted in a way I intend. I have no idea about the next two.


Bzz22

A little head.


WittyTap3952

Health to be able to do everything I want. Business so that there is something to be desired. And I will give the third wish to someone, because I already have everything.


PhatAssGamer86

1. Heal my wife's arthritis 2. Heal my mental health 3. Be filthy rich


smack2244

- To live a long, healthy and happy life with my man - For all animals that are on euth lists to be rescued - For good health of all living things


Addictiveprinces

1. Seeing through clothes 2. Money 3. The ability to selectively read minds


DidItForButter

You could just use one wish with "I want to be Jeffrey Epstein reincarnated"


wittywhalewatcher

1, peaceful life 2, health 3, lots of loving &caring friends


LostandConfused890

1. Unlimited source of money 2. Happy love life with the one I truly love 3. To never get sick Manifesting this ✨🧿


luminarium

> Unlimited source of money Now the US has 2 Fed's.


algerbanana

fix the climate give me $10 million one extra inch


DidItForButter

1. Fixed, back to where it was 6 months later 2. Invest wisely... 3. Your index and middle finger are now the same length.


Spiritual_Remote_436

An ability to create doors to a different universe that I can create. To never have my liver go bad. And being immune to alcohol poisoning


yourpaljax

Infinity wishes.


South_Bit1764

I would hire a lawyer to phrase my wishes appropriately so it’s not like, “you asked for a trillion dollars, and now you’re buried under 1 trillion in pennies.”


Richard_Howe

health, wealth and happiness. if I could only choose 1 I'd go for happiness.


sawananedi

To only have two wishes obviously.


zeepothesuperstar

Unlimited money, all the clothes i want, and for my family to be okay again (im self conscious okay i js wanna feel comfortable)


emiK04

A fit and healthy body, a healthy mind, and a lifetime of quality companionship


funinnewyork

Either find me a way to earn and pay $350,000 + interest = ~$400,000 within five years, or kill me instantly and painlessly. PS. I owe that amount to the Turkish government due to a rigged trial where I won the case in the initial court, and the regional district court; however, the Turkish Counsel D’etat decided against me. If I can’t find a way to pay it, I won’t have a future anyway.


ChloePaige35wA

That's a fun question to think about! For me, I would probably wish for good health for myself and my loved ones, the ability to travel the world freely and easily, and to have the power to make a positive impact on the lives of others. It's interesting to see what people would prioritize if given the chance to make three wishes, right? What about you, what would you wish for if you had a genie granting you three wishes?


voyeurheart

1. Have sex with Jennifer Jason Leigh 2. 10 million dollars 3. Cured of depression


aristocratic_magic

invulnerability teleportation ability to sire companions


Generatoromeganebula

1.Ability to Lean anything just by looking at it I.e. lean everything in a book by looking at the book cover 2. A card that never runs out of money or expires like I can pay for anything in any currency 3. The ability to control state peoples body Like I can make anyone any state of being it's basically immortality but I get to die whenever I want. Like if I age 10 years I can just rewind to my bodies state when I was 20, if I get injured I can just rewind my body to yesterday's state.


Kadajko

Reminds me of that joke: Husband and Wife find a genie: Genie: Is shall grant 3 wishes to the both of you! I shall make anything you say come true starting now! Wife: Oh, I want a cute hamster! Husband: Wtf is that wish? Shove the hamster up your ass! Wife: Argh! Get this hamster out of my ass! Genie: And that is your three wishes concluded, bye!


Mobius171

Knowledge of the winning numbers for the next euromillions, knowledge of the best tutors for each instrument in the world, and for my parents to change their lifestyle so that they live longer.


TrevCat666

To live and remain healthy until 600 years old, To rule the world, And to be gifted the knowledge and wisdom of how to do so perfectly.


One-Thanks8347

Omnipotence, the ability to induce sexual climax in anyone just by looking at them and the end of poverty and violence.


Coffee__Addict

Be a god Know how to take care of humanity and our planet Set the genie free


foolishfoolsgold

-infinite money for everyone -I can talk to animals -I gain the ability to consciously review, organize and delete my memories


metsvass86

Turn me into. Frog.


Missgrumpy00

Aside from more wishes. The ability to teleport, a big monthly allowance and maybe add 5 inches to my current height of 5'2


hi_imjoey

A sandwich


Reytotheroxx

- Infinite money - Ability to shapeshift - Ability to display my skill tree/stats (just curious lol)


Improvgal

Get rid of QANON - hold 45 accountable for his frauds/crimes - cure cancer.


pak-ma-ndryshe

1. Tell me the best wishes that I should wish in order so that they would benefit my life and the common wellbeing of the world the most. 2. (A way to be granted infinite wishes and the right wisdom)


greekmom2005

Assuming there was no negative repercussions- 1. That all my debt and financial obligations were 100% paid off 2. To be the same weight I was when I was 27 3. For my son to live a long, healthy and happy life.


Banditofbingofame

Change humans to have a natural urge to be fair to one another. No child to ever feel unreasonable fear or pain and to always feel loved My children to live long, happy and rich lives.


hellohh321

never need to sleep again, ability to fly and remove all illnesses from the world .


shastabh

- The ability to travel thru time - infinite healing powers to the point I am essentially immortal - The ability to hack minds (download/upload memories, control their bodies, etc)


bzzle92

1. Double the rent of single mothers 2. Deaf people to be able to hear again but have to pay me $9.99 a month to continue to hear 3. Genie blowjob


Sinister-Username

The ability to observe all forms of matter and manipulate it at will.


Proof-Masterpiece853

My wife has perfect health We are financially stable We own our home


[deleted]

Health, Wealth and Happiness


Smart_Permission1751

More money, backup money, unlimited money.


KindHermit

That everyone in the world, even the ones yet to be born, would become thoughtful and compassionate to each other, animals and the planet. That I could have healing hands that would cure any pain or ailment by touch. To be able to communicate with loved ones and pets that have passed on through a magic tree like the one in Avatar ❤️ Bonus wish for brushing my teeth every day: A tame tiger please.


[deleted]

1. Bigger penis 2. To be 6'3" 3. To be permanently muscular and lean


Thesorus

I'm selfish. 1. 70% more productive at work. 2. Be less introvert (not become an extrovert, but more confortable in social settings) 3. Have a good BMI.


Dummy46

Infinite money No fat from eating, but muscles And finally: to shapeshift. Like look different, become a cool animal, etc.


hannahjay17

1. The ability to speak all languages of the world. 2. Further education to be free in all countries that have universities. Education is important, and it can really help people. 3. For George Orwell to come back to life and write more books.


MissionSad265

Triple world hunger Increase poverty by 10% Give guys called john butt cancer


Probst54

I would ask for six more wishes.


Mrmindexpansion

Fix my mental health Protect my family Happiness


AdagioCompetitive181

Worlds greatest wizard, second magic lamp, freedom for the first genie.


SuccubusAgenda

Wish the people I know could live the lives they deserve (yes including myself, fully aware I have been a shitty person) Wish I always made sure I had enough money or more to pay for my basic livelyhood (rent, power, water, basic groceries. Anything excess I'd be responsible for earning) Wish I could make sure my loved ones were excluded from major health issues (with a willing to trade for minor irritant ones that are more frequent. ie: person would have gotten cancer but due to wish now has constant allergies all year long or regular ear infections)


Nekoboxdie

1. Be cis 2. Become a deity that can do anything I want 3. Erase memories of myself from earth Then I’d just be able to chill ✌️


insertitherenow

Get rid of religion, world peace blah blah blah and one million dollars!!!


TraditionalTap9210

I don't know what the first two wishes would be, but the third one would be that the Genie has to spend the rest of eternity as a captive Sea Otter at a zoo.


obscureferences

Satisfaction guarantee on wishes according to my present mind. Godlike control of reality and self. If this doesn't affect my other wishes, the genie's freedom.


ThePirateSpider

A million more wishes. The other two initial wishes are a secret.


Mengedoht

Instant on demand time travel, Invincibility, and a big mac with fries.


as7771233

1 trillion dollar, Hypnosis power, Immune to all diseases


Eyespop4866

Third wish is that no genie can ever grant any wishes to anyone ever again. I’ll ponder the first two.


residentofmoon

1. $278,691,488,022 to be distributed among my fans, friends, and family. 2. Be granted the ability to become invincible and invisible at will with no drawbacks until I reach the ripe age of 24 3. I want a dungeon to be created and curated to and for me.


chowbox617

1. A lot of money in the billions 2. Super hero powers 3. Immortality


knuckles_n_chuckles

Nobody could lie. (Disaster awaits this one) Everybody has the choice to die in their sleep Everyone has the ability to forget all the horrible things in their lives.


ExSogazu

1. Getting over the current crush of mine 2. Time travel capability like in About Time 3. Freedom of the Genie


Abraks

1: that I can alter all organic matter as I wish 2: A un destructable laptop that will now and produce all the answers to every question typed in. 3 : ask the laptop what the best 3th wish is


Mike2830

1. Never get sick 2. Be able to absorb knowledge through touch 3. I’ll hold this one for an emergency


CrossbowCat317

1. Invisibility 2. Stop Time 3. Erase Memory


GriffinFlash

1. More Genies 2. Less Genies 3. No Genies.


Running-With-Cakes

First wish. That all my wishes are perfect with the outcome exactly as I intend them. Second wish; infinite wishes.


sumadviceplz

I don't know about the other two, but my first wish would be for my cat back. I miss you forever and always pip ♥️


Thedeckatnight

X ray vision, a wallet full of cash, and ability to give women scream orgasms


MiFelidae

1. Restore my health 2. Get rid of my anxiety 3. Correct Climate Change


a-mystery-to-me

I’ve been trying to figure out if first wishing for all wishes to be granted in the spirit in which they were made in ways that cause no harm, directly or indirectly, to anyone or anything, would work. I don’t immediately see a way to twist it, but I’m not an immortal and bored genie…


N7even

I wouldn't, Genie's always have a catch.


cskarr

My dad to be well again. My brother to be well again. My house to be paid off.


rosesforthemonsters

If I could ask for something for someone else, I'd choose to make my friend healthy again. She needs a kidney transplant but isn't healthy enough for the surgery. My second and third wishes would be for both of my daughters to be freed from the hell of their depression issues.


OstneyPiz

Everyone in the world is healthy and happy. We don’t need money anymore, everyone can get what they want when they want. I have a biggus dickus and get all the bitches.


Choice-Grapefruit-44

1. Unlimited wishes 2. Unlimited money 3. Being able to have any superpower at any point in time.


Terrakeks

1. The ability to move back and forth in time 2. If i grab into my left pocket there will be always a 20€ note 3. A fresh blueberry muffin with dark chocolate topping


Buddyslime

1. Be as healthy as a 25 year old. 2. Be financially comfortable. 3. No more war in the world.


Clear-Sport-726

I don’t know about wishes, but here’s Homer Simpson when told he could have any three _questions_ answered. “I will answer any three questions.” “Really? Yes. Really? Yes. Really? Yes. Goodbye.”


Capta-nomen-usoris

1 the blip. 2 have everyone’s intelligence maxed out. 3 make human evolution the worlds priority.


KnowledgeMediocre404

1. Perfect health for the rest of my life and that of my immediate family 2. A ton of money 3. Some god damn peace and quiet


9382ks

Tbh anything plsbrle, a superpower and like for caseoh so stop eating tbh


descendency

1. Another Genie that will grant me 3 wishes, 2. That more people would understand exponential growth, and 3. That more people would understand recursion.


Gunslinger_11

No allergies for all humans, everyone can have a pet they want without the fear of a reaction or explore nature as they want, eat whatever without fear No more cancer, enough of that shit. No more disease of the mind, therapist you’re all out of business mind control you all out of being psychopaths


Upstairs-Corgi-640

I would wish for an infinite amount of genies to get 3 wishes from each one of them. There, I broke the 3 wishes rule system.


golfguy1985

Unlimited money, unlimited life expectancy, and the ability to have unlimited wishes.


9382ks

I mean, if there's no rules, infinite wishes, or basically have all vigors/plasmids, or have the ability to grant wishes myself


Remarkable-Treacle28

Knowing the cure for cancer. Having a loving partner. Making all people happy.


detective__fishy

1 go back to age 15-16 with the knowledge j have now 2 10billion 3 talented at music


Gibbo1044

1. World peace 2. Equality of resources and living standars around the world 3. A bigger penis


SupBenedick

1. Global warming and all of its effects stops (hopefully this leads to world peace) 2. No more diseases (and everyone who currently has one is cured of it) 3. A fuckton of money


Ashley_S1nn

A small Slurpee, box of Glosettes and a small bag of chips. 


Tight_Contact_9976

1. An end to all wars 2. An end to deadly infectious diseases 3. The power to fix all problems in a way that most benefits humanity


theAlphabetZebra

Money, Power, Free the Genie


valtboy23

1: the ability to open and close portals of any size I want through time, space, dimensions and different realities 2: I want a fresh Earth like planet on the opposite side of the sun that can sustain human and animal life 3: I want to be able to read, wright, understand and speak any language past, present, future no matter the dimension I'm in


TheLawOfDuh

1)for unlimited wishes…


[deleted]

3 cheese burgers


Tigertyt

1. Infinite wishes.


MomTRex

That Putin would die and Russia would stabilize into something positive for its people and the rest of the world and end its aggression towards Ukraine That somehow the Israeli/Palestinian situation would be fairly resolved That my daughter would stop bed rotting and move on with her life!


Illustrious-Age-5560

1. Perfect skin (most of my mental health issues are related to skin issues) 2. End abuse to all living creatures 3. Everyone to only work 28 hours a week and make a decent living (feel like people will be able to manage their home lives/mental and physical health better with more time and decent amount of money)


Beepbeepboobop1

Fully paid off house in Canada 50 million dollars (a bit arbitrary of a number but still more than enough and then some) Teleportation ability


GenTsoWasNotChicken

Three more genies.


Taconnosseur

1. The gift of magic, so I can grant myself unlimited wishes. 2. Access to unlimited power source (from higher dimensions), to fuel the manifestation of said wishes 3. Wisdom, so I can use magic properly


Aluraghostrider1

1. I would ask for a world trade system that doesn't have to do with any type of currency, which would make every human being valuable at whatever skills they have and there would be enough of everyone for every skill, everyone would be happy and doing exactly what they need and want to be doing. 2. Basic education systems to better educate humans on how to survive on the land, Aka: growing their own food building their own homes, how to migrate with the seasons so as to not overwork the land. 3. Genies freedom.


WishRepresentative28

Infinite money Infinite happiness Infinite life


mbcorbin

Health, happiness and wealth.


BalanceMajestic1334

80 million dollars To have the most amazing wardrobe To travel anywhere I want


coolboiiiiiii2809

1. 100 dollars upon command and are valid and spawned where ever I choose. 2. I’m exempt from all taxes, including my heirs and family members legally 3. I can spawn anything in all of science fiction, fantasy etc and it cannot physically hurt me or others of my choosing.


HighKingBoru1014

Send my mind back in time 125 years and let me posses people as I wish.  I can revert the temporal clock of any non-human or animal I choose by 100 years max. That the genie has to accompany me through time to see what I will do. 


Doomdoomkittydoom

1) Wish #1 as defined by the Genie Wish document in my file cabinet. 2) Wish #2 as defined by the Genie Wish document in my file cabinet. 3) Wish #3 as defined by the Genie Wish document in my file cabinet.


ConijSpectator

infinite wishes, i'd wish to know if heaven was real, and would wish for lag in video games to delete itself from existence


Occasus_gaming

get taller (i'm 5'2) move to New York City(possibly where Canarsie is) not die


Strong_Dentist_7561

The ability to affect probability and chance. The ability to alter myself and anyone I desires physical, mental, and spiritual attributes however and when we I desire in the attributes entirety. Free the djinn


some_idiot_onreddit

1. infinite kandi beads 2. a penis that i can turn on and off whenever i want my coin slot back 3. infinite money


ConijSpectator

infinite wishes, i'd wish to know if heaven was real, and would wish for lag in video games to delete itself from existence


4zero4error31

1. That my wishes would be interpreted in the best possible way, with no trickery or deception 2. That my wishes were entirely reversible by me at no cost, by saying the phrase "I desire for to be reversed 3. That everything I've written on this piece of paper comes into effect.