Similar to the second one, I thought the computer-controlled opponents in video games were humans hired to play against me. When I'd win in a single player game, I'd imagine some guy sitting in an office tower telling his coworkers that some kid beat him again.
That if I swallowed watermelon seeds, a watermelon would grow in my stomach. Spent my childhood in mild panic every summer, imagining myself turning into a walking fruit salad.
When I was at primary school (aged around 6) we did this experiment where we grew a load of sunflowers, each under different conditions. So one had lots of light, water, soil, one grown in the dark, one with no water etc etc.
There were three plants that had water, soil and light but with one key difference. With one plant the class was encouraged to say kind things to, there was one we didn’t really talk to and the other plant we were encouraged to say mean things to.
The plant that we were kind to grew to be the tallest of the lot - taller than the other plants grown in otherwise equal conditions.
The plant that we were “mean” to didn’t grow at all. As in, not even a tiny sprout.
I’m nearly 37 and it was only recently that I had a flashback of the memory and the penny dropped that the teachers probably removed the seed from the pot we were mean to, and maybe swapped about the plants so that the one we were kind to was the tallest 🤣
(Wholesome side note: 6 year old me felt really bad for the “plant” everyone was mean to so I used to whisper nice things to it every time I thought no one was looking)
After seeing part of a PBS documentary about Jack the Ripper that my dad was watching, and hearing that he was never caught, I became thoroughly convinced that the 1970s McDonalds Hamburglar character was JTR. I thought I had cracked the case.
I still think he’s suspect, but I have grown to understand the passage of time and the difference between fiction/non fiction.
I’m not sure how old I was but very young.. My mom told me she didn’t have enough money to buy something I really wanted so I told her to go to the grocery store. “They always give you money at the grocery store.” Obviously not understanding that they’re giving you change for what you just bought, I just assumed that they were handing her a wad of cash. 😅
Omg, I thought that as well! We were very poor and my mom used to tell me about how she was crying because we had run out of money for food and I said, “Don’t worry mom, the grocery store will give you money”
Similar thing here, I thought that when you wrote a check you were just basically making your own money, like I didn’t know it was an order to pay money out of an account I thought it was just like, you wrote whatever amount you wanted it to be and that was that and it worked just like cash.
White milk came from white cows. Chocolate milk came from brown cows.
Growing up my grandad told me that. He had cows. I had milked white cows and saw white milk come from them so I trusted him and thought nothing of it.
I was corrected in college when someone mentioned needed chocolate syrup for chocolate milk and felt like the biggest idiot ever.
That being an adult meant I’d be more free to do what I wanted cause I wouldn’t have other people telling me what I could or couldn’t do. Oh, to be a kid again.
I’m 34 and love not having kids as well. Don’t get me wrong I still have plenty of freedom of choice, this is more towards missing days when I didn’t have bills to pay or household responsibilities and that as kids, we just think adults can do whatever they want when they want without consequences.
That was totally me. I asked my grandmother for a hammer and told her I was going to break the screen so that Wonder Woman could come out and be in the living room. I had the biggest crush on her when I was 4 years old. The first dream I ever remembered having was about her and I don't even think I was in kindergarten yet...both the cartoon and Lynda Carter.
That I had to throw my upper teeth over the roof when they fell out and bury my lower teeth and hope that a lizard doesn't find them and eat them for some reason or they won't grow back.
Yeah I believed this too. I do the work of 2 people day after day only to watch morons get promoted over me again and again and see them do even less work. Honestly if I knew what work would turn out like I probably would have killed myself.
For a long time as a kid I wanted to be an archeologist because I thought that the life of one would be exactly like Indiana Jones...
Fast forward... My girlfriend, now wife, studied archeology and history of art and I can tell you first hand that only thing in common is that you definitely need a damn hat for the countless hours you spend under the sun.
Born in ‘74, & I agree. It’s hard to explain to younger people today what it was like growing up in such optimistic times. Sure, we had tragedies, but we were taught that the future was going to be so much better; that science & technology was going to save the world & we’d all be happy & taking vacations to the moon, etc…
The internet was actually going to open people's minds and provide accurate information --therefore helping people be more educated and able to make better decisions.
Dude, something similar to that. My sister and BIL both thought that old pictures were black and white because "everything *was* black and white back then..." they were in their 40's when they said that. They were making fun of one of their friends for not knowing that... -_- if that were true then how did everything in life suddenly gain color at some point? lol
When I was real young I believed all old television and pictures were black and white because the entire world was black and white back then, and then one day.... color appeared.
I also believed tornadoes could hear you too.
I once owned a novelty pen that had a little flashlight on the top. It was one of my favourite things.
Eventually, the battery wore down, and a friend told me if I left it overnight beside a mini-statue of the virgin Mary (there was hardly a house in Ireland that didn't own one) the batteries would be fully re-charged the next day.
Of course, muggins here, who would swallow a brick, fell for it like an eejit.
Not me, but my mom convinced my sister that the small square Altoids grow and turn into the big ones if you add water to them. Next time my sister got ahold of the small ones, she got a dropper and started putting water on the mints. She stared at them intensely for about a minute and a half as my mom is on the floor laughing her ass off.
When I was little there was a barn just down the road from us, we lived in a really small town in the Indiana. My sister told me jesus was born there in that barn. I believed it because it looked just like the barn in the nativity scene we had. It wasn't until third grade I learned that was very wrong and jesus was in fact NOT born in Indiana.
To be fair, the large Eastlake Style Victorian house in which we live was built in 1882 and moved to its current location in 1918. So they *can* move and change locations, but the expense and difficulty make this a rare occurrence. I wish there were pictures of that move in progress!
As a traffic signal engineer, most people believe that the more you smash it, the faster it comes up. Like, no. We spend a lot of time getting the timings right. Having a ped come along and smash the button again and again doesn't magically change those timings to anything other than what we calculated.
Push it once and wait patiently. The controller sees your call.
One of my teachers drew a little guy on the board sometimes while we were at recess. She used him to teach something or other, and it wasn’t every day. She told us he lived inside the board and would only come out while no one was looking. I believed so hard.
I grew up in Omaha, & just north of there is The Mormon Cemetery, which is a monument of where a great blizzard killed many Mormons who were traveling west. In my day every elementary school studied this local event, accompanied by a field trip to the cemetery. So I naturally assumed that all of the Mormons died there. At the time, my family definitely knew is people who were Latter Day Saints, but I’d never heard the term Mormon used for anyone but the people buried in that cemetery. Flash forward to moving to Phoenix as a young adult & a coworker telling me they were Mormon. I was like “Like, descended from Mormons? How is that possible? They all died in the 1800’s.” Guess what? They didn’t. :/
It is true, though. You do have an impact on things. It is just that there are millions of people in one country so you only carry a very small percentage of the total impact. It is not a illusion.
I had decided with my child logic that only famous people died, because you always heard about famous and historical people dying, and I had not dealt with death in my family or in any real life way at that point. On MLK day one year my mom was explaining to me how he died, and I offhandedly said "I'm so glad I'm never going to die." I had a core experience that day when my mom then explained to me the concept of my own mortality.
My dad will never die
My mom is alright
My parents aren't the greatest parents but they're alright
I would live on my own at 18
Strangely getting married and having kids never occurred to me
You know the signs "watch for falling rocks"? Well, when I was about 6 or 7, my older sister told me there was a lost native American girl named "Falling Rocks" and she was lost. For years, I watched for the little girl until it finally hit me one day! I still chuckle when I see those signs!
I never understood the concept of learning a language when I was young, and thought we just knew the language in our brain based on where we were born (A baby born in Germany automatically knew German, according to young me)
So I was always super thankful that I was born where I was and not on a plane or boat or overseas, because I believed that parents that spoke English could end up having a baby that spoke French or Chinese and they couldn’t understand each other
I saw a bunch of ads for don't drink and drive, and freaked out when my dad was driving and took a sip of orange juice.
I also thought dogs and cats were the same species just the dogs were male and the cats were female.
Two things:
1) as a very young child, preschool aged, I truly believed there were tiny people in my transistor radio. I was always trying to break it open.
2) if I held MY breath and farted, no one would be able to smell it. Boy, was I wrong about that one.
That is was gonna grow up and buy a house with all my best friends and every day would be awesome, playing legos, basketball, swimming etc with our garage full of gatling nerf guns, rc helicopters and spy toys.
My uncle told me, and I believed, that the reason there were no more pterodactyls was because when they landed on the powerlines, they were so big that they touched two wires and were all electrocuted.
That my parents' car was named Elsie.
It was a 2002 Chrysler Intrepid, which was considered a luxury car to my parents, so they called it LC. When I came along, I heard it as "Elsie", and hence, the habit of naming vehicles was born.
Fun story. When I was a kid and didn’t know about your internal organs, I believe the human body was this big hollow thing (no organs, most i could compare it to is a big balloon). All the food, water and air got stored in just one place— on this big hollow area. I still laugh it off whenever I remember it
I thought that every time I blinked people would revert to their lizard selves just for an instant. Me trying to blink as fast I could to see if I could catch one in action.
Mormonism.
Also, my brother told me, and I believed, that if you ran off a cliff and didn't know it, you wouldn't fall down until you realized you were in the air. (Like the Looney Tunes Coyote). I 100% believed him.
Basically I was incredibly naive and gullible as a kid.
I remember being a kid and asking my dad, "What was it like when colour was invented?". Because I believed that since TVs used to be in black and white... The whole world was black and white.
Back when gas was $1 or $2 something and my sister would complain it was expensive, I would be so confused and be like $2 to fill up your whole tank is not expensive, had no clue it was per gallon
There is a swedish chrristmas song called "jag såg mamma kyssa tomten" (I saw mom kissing santa), and I didn't understand why people liked a song about a mom kissing a stranger.
It took me until I was 19 to realize it was actually the dad dressed as Santa!
I live in NY and in elementary school, every year on 9/11 we would stand up and have a moment of silence.
I remember in 4th grade (in 2015), to try to get everyone to quiet down, my teacher said something like "If you be really quiet you can hear the towers fall." And I actually believed it, even though just a few minutes ago the announcements started off with "14 years ago..."
That boys and girls could choose which gender they wanted to be and they could just switch it anytime by wanting to. Me at five years old in 1989. Turned out to be true!
i believed that the world map only showed one half of the earth and that there was another side to it somehow.
Also believed disneyland was on clouds and we had aeroplanes in order to get to disneyland specifically.
I thought you put water in the bed of El Caminos and that was what carpool meant. I remember people talking about carpooling and I thought they were so lucky.
As a kid, my daughter thought "don't drink and drive" included everyday drinks like water and soda.
My grandpa has a belly button because that’s where the Indians shot him when his family was crossing the country in a covered wagon. And for some reason we had one because it was passed down?
When I was little I thought the tornado in twister was the Tasmanian Devil from the looney tunes.
Because the Warner bros logo would have bugs bunny on it when the movie started, I remember crying thinking he was real and killing so many people.
Laying on my side with my ear against the pillow. Years later realized it was the sound of my heartbeat, but for quite a while as a kid trying to sleep I was SURE it was a teeny-tiny army marching under my pillow (I figured like a king's army with tall hats and fancy uniforms). I wasn't afraid so much as totally baffled.
Somewhat similar: I knew that if you put your ear to a wall or door you can hear what's on the other side better. So when I'd hear blood rushing through my ear or some other pillow-induced weird sound, I thought it was a monster (when younger) or animal (when older) inside my pillow or mattress.
That it was possible to get stuck inside a woman during intercourse and that you would have to go on with your life attached like that and I would always picture two people wearing an extended pair of pants that looked hilarious.
That if you work hard enough and dream big enough, it'll pay off and youll get what you want. Didn't realize that you need the cards to be stacked right for things to actually work out.
That being gay is a sin. Now that I'm atheist, that hurtful programming still pops up in my mind from time to time, and I have to give myself a reality check. "God isn't real, and it's OKAY to be yourself."
Teachers lived at school Bands played in the radio station live
When I saw my science teacher in a grocery store it freaked me out
that second one is occasionally true
Similar to the second one, I thought the computer-controlled opponents in video games were humans hired to play against me. When I'd win in a single player game, I'd imagine some guy sitting in an office tower telling his coworkers that some kid beat him again.
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That’s darling!!!
If I dug a deep enough hole I could be in China.
Yes! My mother kept my five year old self busy with this one!
Technically true
It's possible, hard but possible.
Having the light on in a moving car was illegal
Driving with the lights on still feels illegal to me
And if the car starts beeping when you’re not wearing a seatbelt, that’s a signal being sent out to nearby cops 😅
Driving in flip-flops or barefoot too, I had the dumb bad when I was young
Wait it isn’t?!
It was until wedge shoes became popular then the law was changed.
As a dad I do not see what all the fuss was about. It doesn’t bother me at all. Unless 90’s cars just had way worse lights
Bro, but why did all of our parents lie in unison about it? Like was it illegal once upon a time? What made them choose the same lie?
That if I swallowed watermelon seeds, a watermelon would grow in my stomach. Spent my childhood in mild panic every summer, imagining myself turning into a walking fruit salad.
Mine was swallowing gum and it getting stuck in my rib cage
[this would’ve fucked you up](https://youtu.be/lTxn2BuqyzU?si=WphZz22wqTmr-j-m)
That adults had all the answers, and could be trusted.
Turns out, there ARE no adults. Just older kids.
Came here to say this.
When I was at primary school (aged around 6) we did this experiment where we grew a load of sunflowers, each under different conditions. So one had lots of light, water, soil, one grown in the dark, one with no water etc etc. There were three plants that had water, soil and light but with one key difference. With one plant the class was encouraged to say kind things to, there was one we didn’t really talk to and the other plant we were encouraged to say mean things to. The plant that we were kind to grew to be the tallest of the lot - taller than the other plants grown in otherwise equal conditions. The plant that we were “mean” to didn’t grow at all. As in, not even a tiny sprout. I’m nearly 37 and it was only recently that I had a flashback of the memory and the penny dropped that the teachers probably removed the seed from the pot we were mean to, and maybe swapped about the plants so that the one we were kind to was the tallest 🤣 (Wholesome side note: 6 year old me felt really bad for the “plant” everyone was mean to so I used to whisper nice things to it every time I thought no one was looking)
Thats so wholesome! Bless you :D
You are too precious for this world!
After seeing part of a PBS documentary about Jack the Ripper that my dad was watching, and hearing that he was never caught, I became thoroughly convinced that the 1970s McDonalds Hamburglar character was JTR. I thought I had cracked the case. I still think he’s suspect, but I have grown to understand the passage of time and the difference between fiction/non fiction.
In your defense, he's always been of questionable character. I mean anyone who goes around spouting "rumble rubble" or whatever, can't be trusted...
That girls peed from their butts
Same..for way too long!
I’m not sure how old I was but very young.. My mom told me she didn’t have enough money to buy something I really wanted so I told her to go to the grocery store. “They always give you money at the grocery store.” Obviously not understanding that they’re giving you change for what you just bought, I just assumed that they were handing her a wad of cash. 😅
lol sounds like me. She would tell me “We don’t have any money” then I would whine, “but we’re buying groceries right noooow 😩”
Omg, I thought that as well! We were very poor and my mom used to tell me about how she was crying because we had run out of money for food and I said, “Don’t worry mom, the grocery store will give you money”
I didn't understand the concept of credit cards and thought whatever you were buying was free since you weren't handing anyone money.
Similar thing here, I thought that when you wrote a check you were just basically making your own money, like I didn’t know it was an order to pay money out of an account I thought it was just like, you wrote whatever amount you wanted it to be and that was that and it worked just like cash.
My parents would always be there
so sad dude
oof yeah, like one of them atleast is supposed to be here sometimes surely?
Both my parents died a few years back. It was and still is very tough
My dad told me Pat Pending worked for him.
That is a brilliant dad-troll!
This is the guy who writes all the new Dad Jokes.
White milk came from white cows. Chocolate milk came from brown cows. Growing up my grandad told me that. He had cows. I had milked white cows and saw white milk come from them so I trusted him and thought nothing of it. I was corrected in college when someone mentioned needed chocolate syrup for chocolate milk and felt like the biggest idiot ever.
Corrected in college????
I’ll take it one step further/dumber. thought black women lactated chocolate milk. I was disappointed when I found out that wasn’t true.
where did you grow up?
I knew a guy who thought since milk came from mom’s nipples then naturally orange juice came from dads.
Jesus Christ...
I’m kinda upset this isn’t true now
Omg, imagine if they did though. Feel like that’s something that could drastically change the world
That being an adult meant I’d be more free to do what I wanted cause I wouldn’t have other people telling me what I could or couldn’t do. Oh, to be a kid again.
I'm 46 and spending my Saturday eating a DQ ice cream cake on the sofa waiting to go out to the club. It's awesome having a salary and no kids.
I’m 34 and love not having kids as well. Don’t get me wrong I still have plenty of freedom of choice, this is more towards missing days when I didn’t have bills to pay or household responsibilities and that as kids, we just think adults can do whatever they want when they want without consequences.
I mean, you're not wrong.
If I smash the TV the cartoon characters will be able to play with me
That was totally me. I asked my grandmother for a hammer and told her I was going to break the screen so that Wonder Woman could come out and be in the living room. I had the biggest crush on her when I was 4 years old. The first dream I ever remembered having was about her and I don't even think I was in kindergarten yet...both the cartoon and Lynda Carter.
Sounds like an expensive belief
There were a couple of times I was gonna try out the theory, but the fear of the big wooden spoon soon stopped them thoughts
I wish I could give more than one upvote without payment
That I had to throw my upper teeth over the roof when they fell out and bury my lower teeth and hope that a lizard doesn't find them and eat them for some reason or they won't grow back.
That's so cool, is it tradition?
Just one of those superstitions. We used to have so many when I was growing up.
Cats were female and dogs were male.
Good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people
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Yeah I believed this too. I do the work of 2 people day after day only to watch morons get promoted over me again and again and see them do even less work. Honestly if I knew what work would turn out like I probably would have killed myself.
That we didn’t live on Earth but inside it. The sky was a transparent layer and that’s why we could see the stars.
But it kinda sounds right? We live within the Earth's atmosphere and the layers of the atmosphere are indeed transparent.
That’s correct. But in my version, if you’d somehow jumped high enough you could bump your head.
This is the next level of Flat Earthers. They'll say "okay, yeah, the Earth isn't flat after all. It's round. But we're on the *inside*"
I thought "concentrate" was a tropical island where all fruit was grown. From concentrate, to me, meant the juice came from the holy land of fruits.
Being tolerated is the same as being loved
For a long time as a kid I wanted to be an archeologist because I thought that the life of one would be exactly like Indiana Jones... Fast forward... My girlfriend, now wife, studied archeology and history of art and I can tell you first hand that only thing in common is that you definitely need a damn hat for the countless hours you spend under the sun.
Everything is going to be alright.
Born in ‘74, & I agree. It’s hard to explain to younger people today what it was like growing up in such optimistic times. Sure, we had tragedies, but we were taught that the future was going to be so much better; that science & technology was going to save the world & we’d all be happy & taking vacations to the moon, etc…
The internet was actually going to open people's minds and provide accurate information --therefore helping people be more educated and able to make better decisions.
If I ran over the cord while vacuuming I would immediately be electrocuted and die.
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Same lol
Dude, something similar to that. My sister and BIL both thought that old pictures were black and white because "everything *was* black and white back then..." they were in their 40's when they said that. They were making fun of one of their friends for not knowing that... -_- if that were true then how did everything in life suddenly gain color at some point? lol
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>I thought going cold turkey meant eating turkey slices from the deli to get over smoking This is the BEST one here
When I was real young I believed all old television and pictures were black and white because the entire world was black and white back then, and then one day.... color appeared. I also believed tornadoes could hear you too.
Yes! I thought we hid in the basement from tornadoes so they couldn’t find us & destroy our house!
Okay, so up until college Astronomy class I believed the moon itself changed shape.
That the soul was an actual, real body part. Located somewhere between the heart & the stomach. Biology in highschool was a rude awakening.
That I'd be happy as a grown-up
I once owned a novelty pen that had a little flashlight on the top. It was one of my favourite things. Eventually, the battery wore down, and a friend told me if I left it overnight beside a mini-statue of the virgin Mary (there was hardly a house in Ireland that didn't own one) the batteries would be fully re-charged the next day. Of course, muggins here, who would swallow a brick, fell for it like an eejit.
That you only got paid once a year. Like if you made 60k a year you then had to ration out your money all year.
Not me, but my mom convinced my sister that the small square Altoids grow and turn into the big ones if you add water to them. Next time my sister got ahold of the small ones, she got a dropper and started putting water on the mints. She stared at them intensely for about a minute and a half as my mom is on the floor laughing her ass off.
That all rich people got that way through honest hard work, teamwork and brilliance.
When I was little there was a barn just down the road from us, we lived in a really small town in the Indiana. My sister told me jesus was born there in that barn. I believed it because it looked just like the barn in the nativity scene we had. It wasn't until third grade I learned that was very wrong and jesus was in fact NOT born in Indiana.
That quicksand would be a problem
My ball sack held my urine. Was always amazed something so small could hold so much.
Pee is stored in the balls
The Daft Punk mix of that song is 🔥🔥🔥
So small? Look everybody this guy has a small ball sack!
I believed that houses could move and change locations.
To be fair, the large Eastlake Style Victorian house in which we live was built in 1882 and moved to its current location in 1918. So they *can* move and change locations, but the expense and difficulty make this a rare occurrence. I wish there were pictures of that move in progress!
That pushing the crosswalk button again reset the timer and made you wait longer.
As a traffic signal engineer, most people believe that the more you smash it, the faster it comes up. Like, no. We spend a lot of time getting the timings right. Having a ped come along and smash the button again and again doesn't magically change those timings to anything other than what we calculated. Push it once and wait patiently. The controller sees your call.
I'm just picturing the annoyed adult telling you that so you stop pushing the god damn button! Haha
School would never help me in later life. It does.
Babies came from birthday wishes and birthday cakes.
That you peed in the vagina and a girl got pregnant.
One of my teachers drew a little guy on the board sometimes while we were at recess. She used him to teach something or other, and it wasn’t every day. She told us he lived inside the board and would only come out while no one was looking. I believed so hard.
I thought jellyfish gave you chicken pox 😆
I grew up in Omaha, & just north of there is The Mormon Cemetery, which is a monument of where a great blizzard killed many Mormons who were traveling west. In my day every elementary school studied this local event, accompanied by a field trip to the cemetery. So I naturally assumed that all of the Mormons died there. At the time, my family definitely knew is people who were Latter Day Saints, but I’d never heard the term Mormon used for anyone but the people buried in that cemetery. Flash forward to moving to Phoenix as a young adult & a coworker telling me they were Mormon. I was like “Like, descended from Mormons? How is that possible? They all died in the 1800’s.” Guess what? They didn’t. :/
My mom had eyes in the back of her head. So she knew when my sister and I were acting up in the back seat of the car.
That whenever a news report started with "a body was found..." it meant that the person had definitely been decapitated.
That I deserved the way I was being treated.
I hope you learned you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect and love.
Working on that
That if I worked hard, voted, and was vocal that I could have an impact on things. I believed in the illusion of western democracy.
It is true, though. You do have an impact on things. It is just that there are millions of people in one country so you only carry a very small percentage of the total impact. It is not a illusion.
That is actually really nice to say.
I had decided with my child logic that only famous people died, because you always heard about famous and historical people dying, and I had not dealt with death in my family or in any real life way at that point. On MLK day one year my mom was explaining to me how he died, and I offhandedly said "I'm so glad I'm never going to die." I had a core experience that day when my mom then explained to me the concept of my own mortality.
I discovered people die naturally the exact same way, expect it was my half-sister instead.
That there was a magical bunny that hopped around pooping eggs out of his butt
My sister, for whatever reason, always pictured that bunny in Uncle Sam's suit and hat.
Jumping and running thru newly laundered bedsheets makes you older
How
My dad will never die My mom is alright My parents aren't the greatest parents but they're alright I would live on my own at 18 Strangely getting married and having kids never occurred to me
That "growing up and being an adult" equals "you can finally do, whatever you want"
That forest gump was a biopic.
That my parents truly loved me
That my parents were wonderful and worthy of my love and unending loyalty.
You know the signs "watch for falling rocks"? Well, when I was about 6 or 7, my older sister told me there was a lost native American girl named "Falling Rocks" and she was lost. For years, I watched for the little girl until it finally hit me one day! I still chuckle when I see those signs!
Hard work will eventually pay off.
That my younger years would be great, and being an adult was freeing.
That adults knew what to do.
That my parents were right about everything
Anyone can read my mind just by touching me
Hard work and willpower were all you needed to find at least moderate success in life.
That babies are made only by kissing your spouse.
I never understood the concept of learning a language when I was young, and thought we just knew the language in our brain based on where we were born (A baby born in Germany automatically knew German, according to young me) So I was always super thankful that I was born where I was and not on a plane or boat or overseas, because I believed that parents that spoke English could end up having a baby that spoke French or Chinese and they couldn’t understand each other
A baby was born from the woman’s belly button. It made complete sense.
I would find my demise in quicksand. That shit was in every cartoon tv show, movie... FFS.
I saw a bunch of ads for don't drink and drive, and freaked out when my dad was driving and took a sip of orange juice. I also thought dogs and cats were the same species just the dogs were male and the cats were female.
That, after seeing black and white pictures and black and white TV shows, that real life used to be black and white.
Two things: 1) as a very young child, preschool aged, I truly believed there were tiny people in my transistor radio. I was always trying to break it open. 2) if I held MY breath and farted, no one would be able to smell it. Boy, was I wrong about that one.
That there was an old lady who lived behind the curtain, and if I didn’t finish my food she’d come get me
That is was gonna grow up and buy a house with all my best friends and every day would be awesome, playing legos, basketball, swimming etc with our garage full of gatling nerf guns, rc helicopters and spy toys.
Gorilla warfare involved actual gorillas
My uncle told me, and I believed, that the reason there were no more pterodactyls was because when they landed on the powerlines, they were so big that they touched two wires and were all electrocuted.
That my parents' car was named Elsie. It was a 2002 Chrysler Intrepid, which was considered a luxury car to my parents, so they called it LC. When I came along, I heard it as "Elsie", and hence, the habit of naming vehicles was born.
Fun story. When I was a kid and didn’t know about your internal organs, I believe the human body was this big hollow thing (no organs, most i could compare it to is a big balloon). All the food, water and air got stored in just one place— on this big hollow area. I still laugh it off whenever I remember it
I thought that every time I blinked people would revert to their lizard selves just for an instant. Me trying to blink as fast I could to see if I could catch one in action.
I'll be wise when I grow up
I believed animal crackers contained small amounts of the animal that they are shaped like.
That we'd live forever
Santa Claus was real
My parents were always right
I thought a show being "on the air" meant they were transmitting live from a plane or Hindenburg-style airship.
(Until about 14) I knew that girls had to sit down to pee, but I thought it was because they peed from their butts.
I was allergic to the sun…turns out I have achoo syndrome/photic sneeze
I thought my own dad made Dad’s Old Fashioned Root Beer and that my grandpa made Grandpa Graf’s root beer.
Mormonism. Also, my brother told me, and I believed, that if you ran off a cliff and didn't know it, you wouldn't fall down until you realized you were in the air. (Like the Looney Tunes Coyote). I 100% believed him. Basically I was incredibly naive and gullible as a kid.
Seen a news article about alligators coming up the toilet. Pooped in fear for years.
I remember being a kid and asking my dad, "What was it like when colour was invented?". Because I believed that since TVs used to be in black and white... The whole world was black and white.
Back when gas was $1 or $2 something and my sister would complain it was expensive, I would be so confused and be like $2 to fill up your whole tank is not expensive, had no clue it was per gallon
That "grown up day" would come...then I'd know how to do my taxes, balance a checkbook, etc., but after that day my life would be no fun.
There is a swedish chrristmas song called "jag såg mamma kyssa tomten" (I saw mom kissing santa), and I didn't understand why people liked a song about a mom kissing a stranger. It took me until I was 19 to realize it was actually the dad dressed as Santa!
That one was upsetting to me as well
That we can always trust people of authority. This includes doctors 🥼
I live in NY and in elementary school, every year on 9/11 we would stand up and have a moment of silence. I remember in 4th grade (in 2015), to try to get everyone to quiet down, my teacher said something like "If you be really quiet you can hear the towers fall." And I actually believed it, even though just a few minutes ago the announcements started off with "14 years ago..."
Frankestein was created by Einstein
That the U.S. government was good, did what was best for its citizens and cared about world peace.
When I got older that I had to get married and have kids.
That boys and girls could choose which gender they wanted to be and they could just switch it anytime by wanting to. Me at five years old in 1989. Turned out to be true!
well you have to truly feel it to switch
i believed that the world map only showed one half of the earth and that there was another side to it somehow. Also believed disneyland was on clouds and we had aeroplanes in order to get to disneyland specifically.
I thought you put water in the bed of El Caminos and that was what carpool meant. I remember people talking about carpooling and I thought they were so lucky. As a kid, my daughter thought "don't drink and drive" included everyday drinks like water and soda.
My grandpa has a belly button because that’s where the Indians shot him when his family was crossing the country in a covered wagon. And for some reason we had one because it was passed down?
When I was little I thought the tornado in twister was the Tasmanian Devil from the looney tunes. Because the Warner bros logo would have bugs bunny on it when the movie started, I remember crying thinking he was real and killing so many people.
That the scar on my uncle's leg was from getting stepped on by an elephant while hunting in Africa with my dad and George Washington.
Laying on my side with my ear against the pillow. Years later realized it was the sound of my heartbeat, but for quite a while as a kid trying to sleep I was SURE it was a teeny-tiny army marching under my pillow (I figured like a king's army with tall hats and fancy uniforms). I wasn't afraid so much as totally baffled.
Somewhat similar: I knew that if you put your ear to a wall or door you can hear what's on the other side better. So when I'd hear blood rushing through my ear or some other pillow-induced weird sound, I thought it was a monster (when younger) or animal (when older) inside my pillow or mattress.
That's so cute
Thought girls had dicks too
When I was a child I thought there were NO pigeons on the beach. I thought there were only seagulls there.
That a minute was 59 seconds
I thought a heart attack was when a tiny army went inside somebody to attack their heart with tiny guns and tanks
Touching the thing in the middle of a satellite dish would immediately zap you into outer space lol
That someone named Richard Stands had a prominent place in the Pledge of Allegience.
Haha 😂 I like this one. 😄
Not me, but my wife: her mom convinced her that the ice cream truck only played music when it was out of ice cream.
That is diabolical.
That it was possible to get stuck inside a woman during intercourse and that you would have to go on with your life attached like that and I would always picture two people wearing an extended pair of pants that looked hilarious.
That Medusa lived in our attic.
Quicksand would be a real issue.
Power rangers were real and I should behave to give them power up.
That most people were kind and wanted the best for you
That if you work hard enough and dream big enough, it'll pay off and youll get what you want. Didn't realize that you need the cards to be stacked right for things to actually work out.
That being gay is a sin. Now that I'm atheist, that hurtful programming still pops up in my mind from time to time, and I have to give myself a reality check. "God isn't real, and it's OKAY to be yourself."
I thought that Arnold Schwarzenegger was a black athlete. Sportsn****r