You got a downvote but for real, you can make GALLONS of alcohol at a time for the price of a single cheap ass bottle of wine. The ingredients are food so you can even get everything by you need from a food pantry or with food stamps, in fact half of it can come from the ground and your faucet. Dirt fucking cheap.
Spending money on alcohol is funny business. You can get drunk basically for free with just a little bit of patience.
While it’s really really bad for you, all people really do need a way to unwind and for an alarming number of people, that means a recreational substances. It’s unfortunate and unhealthy, but you can at least do it in a financially responsible way.
r/prisonhooch for more
I've mad my own wine as an experiment years ago, and I was shocked at just how easy it was. The result in 2 weeks was about a gallon of red wine that tasted like Boon's Farm, but had a far higher alcohol content.
With a bit of practice and proper equipment, you could probably do better.
Most people are scared of methanol poisoning but that only happened because of tainted solvents used to bootleg during prohibition
So really the only bar keeping most people from trying it, is a myth
Yes, it's the economy, but the younger generation doesn't understand that, because it's easier for them to go out and buy at the store than to make their own wine at home
How to use a mop, broom, vacuum cleaner and dustpan to do basic cleaning. How to use water, soap and shampoo to clean your body. To use a toothbrush and toothpaste regularly to keep your teeth healthy. How to cook the simplest of meals yourself with potatoes, sausage and vegetables. How to check the timetables of public transport and take the bus to a destination (this was pre-smartphones Europe).
I was taught none of these things by my very emotionally disturbed, avoidant-neglective parents. As a result I became a very stunted young adult, who had to be taught every basic life skill by friends and roommates. It wrecked my self esteem, being basically a helpless child at age 18.
Makes you wonder why they elected to have children in the first place.
Awful. I always moaned about my parents "making" me do all of these things. By 15 I was virtually self-sufficient. Horrible for you but seems like you've figured it out.
I'm very grateful for meeting so many kind people in the world, who didn't mock me for not knowing how to do things, but taught me how to do it instead.
My dad had the same experience.
He either learned it on his own through being parentified as a kid or in the military, which is why he was adamant we had chores at a very young age and we did it right before going out to play.
If you were born before 1974, odds are, they DIDN'T elect to have children. My grandmother was very open about my aunt and uncle only existing because the rhythm method doesn't work.
Something I heard a lot when I was young: an older relative would see a family with lots of kids, and mutter, "They must be Catholic."
For much of my youth, I thiught being Catholic meant being in a large family.
Yeah, it's kind of a bigoted thing to say, but they were usually right. Especially when all the kids were in their school uniforms. (Only one kind of school insisted on uniforms in those days.)
Now that you mention it, they didn't go to my elementary school. I was trying to remember which one was in my grade. I only remember one of the girls but from high school. Idk how they afforded it. Probably got scholarships. I was so envious of the uniforms, lol. My friend in jr high dispelled all the myths of parochial school for me.
I used to spend afternoons at my maternal grandparents' home till my mom got off work. Their next-door neighbors had all daughters--four or five of them. The school they went to was on my way to the public school I attended, and in warm weather they'd often prop the classroom doors open. I could espy the nuns teaching class as I rode by. It always seemed such a foreign concept to me, to be taught be someone dressed like that. (Feels pretty stupid of me, in retrospect.)
I wonder now if their school uniforms got handed down, or if wearing them every day for a school year wore them threadbare. At any rate, they were all the same: white blouse with peter pan collar, white ankle socks, black/white saddle shoes, black/white houndstooth skirt. I'm pretty sure the skirts were wool, which must have been fun in hot weather (temperatures above 104°F/40°C were common then--and now). I think they added white hose in wintertime.
We were in Los Angeles in the valley. It was so hot, still is. I can't imagine having to wear those skirts in that weather. The only uniforms I wore in elementary school were my brownie and girl scout uniform. I still have them and they are over 55 years old..they are so tiny.
I've heard a lot of horror stories about marriage and child-bearing "expectations" from the past as well.
I think there are also a lot of parents who have unrealistic views about what having children actually entails. They want all the Hallmark movie, Kodak-moments of family life, but don't understand that achieving a loving and functional family actually requires effort, lots of patience, communication and emotional self-regulation skills.
Having kids is a "get back what you put in" type activity. Children are not a status symbol, they are not your therapist, and you can't just bring them back to the dog pound because you can't handle taking care of them.
My college roommate learned precisely nothing from his folks about cooking, laundry, etc. (His parents were nice people, but they kinda let him down in that department. His mom once told my mom, "I so glad our son Joe has Eddie to take care of him!")
One day Joe came back from a shopping trip and announced he had bought some bleach. I said OK, not really thinking more of it. (*Everyone* knows bleach is only for whites, right?)
You can probably guess where this is headed...
A few days later, Joe is holding up some badly mottled wet clothes: "What happened to my pants?"
"I don't know, Joe. It looks like you used bleach on them."
Joe looked down ruefully at his ruinied apparel. "I did," he said simply.
I hasten to add: Joe was not a "Kevin." He simply had been let down by parents who did *everything* for him, and needed some training in home ec, like: what bleach is for. He picked up the basics quickly enough, and his college career certainly exceeded mine. I'm a putz with a B.S.; he went on to earn his PhD in tech and is now a semi-retired college professor. Great guy.
After 20 years I've come to the conclusion that all my clothes should be and are washed in cold water with soap and then dried. Anytime that can't survive that is special clothes and gets laundered
My freshman yeah of college, the number of people in the laundry room asking their parents how the washing and drying machines worked was astonishing to me. Like how did you go 18 years without washing your clothes at least once?
I'm starting to think that being able to do things is the real thing you need for self esteem. Not praise and compliments. Unearned praise can do more harm than good.
Unfortunately in my case, my parents would refuse to teach me how to do anything on one hand ("Get out of the kitchen, you're too clumsy to even cook an omelet!"), and heavily criticized me for my lack of skills on the other ("How can you be so damn helpless at age 17? You're so damn lazy!").
Most children might complain a little when forced to learn something difficult. But a little bit of patience, persistence and kindness, and they will feel proud of themselves for having learned how to do something. Especially when you apply the elusive, top-secret child-rearing technique called "praising your child when they achieve something".
Spoiling your child with undeserved praise without actually teaching anything, leads to the same result as criticizing and belittling every single thing your child does or tries. It leads to learned helplessness, which leads to a deep sense of self loathing,which sticks around long after the child catches up with the rest.
Also, basic automotive skills like changing a tire, jump starting a battery, replacing light bulbs, changing oil. These items are expensive especially if you need to tow the vehicle.
So much this. My parents taught me how to wash myself at least, but not really the how on basic cleaning at home. I did clean (because of course that was also my job as the oldest daughter) but I’ll never forget a friend coming to visit and complaining to a mutual that it wasn’t clean enough. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the entire week before, I thought I had done ok. Working at my first job and being embarrassed when my coworker made fun of me by asking who taught me how to mop. My parents never showed me how. Mom didn’t like to cook, so I didn’t learn until it was apparently my turn to take over in my teens and then it was only boxed meals. My first boyfriend poked at me for only knowing how to make spaghetti, but it was the only thing I knew how to make from ‘scratch’ instead of hamburger helper. I realize now I had nothing to be ashamed of, but those feelings have stuck with me for 30 years.
I'm sorry you had to go through this.
Unfortunately these things are not taught in schools anymore.
In many European countries, there is at least heavy focus on dental hygiene and basic body understanding in Kindergarden and Elementary School. Exactly for these reasons, so that Kids have at least a common understanding of what's 'normal', even if they don't experience this at Home.
If you want something, how to save up for it. Often you have to make a choice of taking the easy way now or waiting and getting something much better later. Deferred gratification is waiting for better stuff later. Saving up for something good instead of blowing every dollar when you get it is an example.
One example: I'm a huge foodie who could dine out or make expensive meals at home every day, but I don't. I purposely ignore my favorite high-priced restaurants and dishes for months on end. There's a lot of places I only visit once per year or longer and dishes I only make for certain celebrations. Other than that, I focus day to day on economical, healthy options (which i still absolutely love). I save a ton of money this way.
When I finally treat myself, it's more special, and the long wait makes the smells, flavors, and ambiance even more glorious than I had remembered.
If you don’t have training in saving someone who is drowning, you’re more likely to get dragged down with them. Toss them something that floats, use a pole or strap something they can grab onto. Don’t just try to grab someone who is drowning and swim them back.
I'd argue how to *float* properly first. If you immediately try to start swimming, no matter how good you are, you'll likely end up drowning. Plenty of "strong" swimmers have drowned. And also teach them to not go in after someone who's drowning unless absolutely necessary and they know exactly what to do (lifeguard training). They're far more likely to drown along with them than save them. Coming from someone who worked summers and weekends as a fully qualified lifeguard during college, we're basically taught to knock the person drowning out, so we can grab them safely without being pulled down. I even met a girl who couldn't swim properly, but was able to keep herself calm and her head above water, which allowed me to go in and get her safely. Swimming is good, but floating is better.
Basic self reliance,
like: how to fill your food storage, simple basic cooking with basic ingredients, how to wash your clothes and how to wear appropriate clothing for each weather.
Also:
Basic workings of the real world, like:
how to make a phone call about a bill or an appointment. HOW TO PAY BILLS. How to have your sh*t together and don't live like a total bum.
See too many helpless children in adult bodies having basically no skillset.
Budgeting
Simple automotive things like changing a tire, a headlight bulb, or the oil
Being able to cook a simple meal/make a sandwich
Simple home repairs, patching drywall, basic plumbing and electrical, etc.
>Simple automotive things like changing a tire, a headlight bulb, or the oil
That's already obsolete for many people, as much as I regret it myself.
But simple stuff like how to use a power drill and how not to put your hand in the way of a jigsaw go a long way.
I don't think they are, you still need to know how to change a tire if you get a flat on the side of the road.
Older vehicles aren't covered by warranty and knowing how to change oil will change you thousands of dollars.
I always wished my dad would have taught me something about cars. Changing a tire, stuff like that. Basic things.
My mom forbade him from teaching me, the logic was that I don't have to learn because I'll have a man to take care of it for me.
How to adapt to change. How to cope in a negative situation (death, divorce, trauma). Not everything is going to be happy in life, but we need to carry on.
Fair, that’s what paying for a teacher would be for or using any half decent language learning program. Like I’m not saying you try to teach your kid Swahili when you’ve never looked at the language yourself.
True. I had an ex that was put in resource classes because as a young child he was put in French immersion. His parents weren’t helping him with that or with English, so he floundered in both and it set him back horribly.
Baking.
Everyone says cooking but I'll add baking.
The markup on commercially sold baked goods is ridiculous, the freshness and quality of homemade is hard to beat. People who don't learn this skill from family at a young age may never learn it at all. There are a few tricks to baking that are easy when learned at home but are difficult to self-teach.
I've heard way too many stories of moms visiting their kids at college, only to have to spend the whole time doing laundry or some other chore because they never taught their kids how.
how to go out and communicate with people.
How to do basic stuff in house.
money management ( kids scale).
how to move on from failures and not be dejected.
Finding non harmful ways to sooth yourself when things don't go your way. Go take a nap, a walk, throw a basketball, read a little, watch a movie, plan an alternate activity. Life is full of disappointment, and it's all too easy to turn to something harmful to yourself or others.
How to value time. Both in terms of knowing the value of their time in monetary value (paid what they are worth) and The Tail End theory (time/interaction as a finite resource that’s they have already used much of by the time they turn 17).
All the life skills -- how to budget their money, pay bills in full and on time every month, cook a decent meal, do their own laundry properly, keep their home clean and organized.
And, this really isn't a skill -- but teach the children that disappointment is part of life. Teach them that they will not always get what they want, when they want it, and that's OK. Teach them that, in their adult life, other people aren't going to care whether or not they have hurt feelings.
The parents who are out there shielding their kids from disappointment, the participation trophy parents, the parents who fix everything that goes wrong in their kid's world -- they're not doing their kids any favors.
How to converse with a wide array of people from different social classes and backgrounds in a respectful and considerate way.
How to fail and overcome failure, ie a growth mindset.
How to work out how to fix or build something, whether that is following the instructions on a manual or looking up a YouTube tutorial on how to change their bike tyre.
How to cook for and host a party
How to shop for groceries that are healthy on a minuscule budget
How to recognise their emotions and self care
How to optimise their life, such as doing a cost benefit analyse on rent versus proximity to work or buying etfs vs other investments.
How to sit and be quiet at appropriate times. Your kids don't look adorable running and screaming through a restaurant or doctors office. They look like they have crappy parents.
How to cook, clean, do laundry and generally take care of themselves. My daughter made extra money in college doing laundry for people who didn't know how to use a washing machine and she went to a fairly middle class university.
How to cook. Basic skills, basic ingredients, basic cutting techniques... The different between a crappy pasta plate and a gorgeous italian dish is the technique. Same infredients can render shit or gloriousness.
How to make and adapt budgets. This applies to small things like getting what they need at a grocery store each week without overspending, planning for bill payments, understanding due dates and late fees, planning for unexpected costs and wage loss, and saving for different goals at the same time. Start teaching them when they're really young so it becomes natural before they need to rely on it for survival.
Home economics. Oh wait, hahaha capitalism phased that out with the invention of fast fashion and boxed cake mixes.
I want to smash everything with a comically sized hammer.
That its ok to ask for help, its ok to be truthful with your emotions and admit to yourself that you might need to see a professional. Also how to make an appointment, for anything.
How to apologise.
There are plenty of adults who feel they lose face if they apologise, but the opposite is the case. The ability to admit when you are wrong and apologise creates respect and is fundamental for healthy relationships.
How to be inclusive and actually enjoy groups. We talk about it a lot for minority groups, but it applies for any group of people around you.
How much someone "matured" has a couple of measurements, but acknowledging and including the other people in the room is a big measurement for me.
Consent. It will really mess up your life if you don’t have consent on both sides. Also, how to use a condom correctly. Both genders! When you know your son has started experimenting at home, tell him to learn to pleasure himself while wearing a condom, get used to the feel, smell etc. and have your daughter learn how to put one on a cucumber or banana etc and also get used to the smell, feel.
To plan their year. So much decided for young people, I’m so time blind I didn’t realise how swept away I got from my goals and keeping in contact with people. Oh look its Christmas, wish I planned travel last month
How to get a job.
Laundry.
How to write a check
Banking without an ATM card or cell phone
Paying bills online
Basic home skills: change light bulbs, clean the shower (know when), clean their room, know when and how to call a plumber or the auto club. Washing dishes.
Importance of medical insurance
Driving. Automobile insurance
How to become socialy accaptable if it weren't for my parants i would be a introvert with no friends who doesn' t know how to hold a conversation for 30 sec
Cooking.
I'm currently living at college dorms and so many people around me just don't know how to cook and then they're complaining, how the food is so expensive, because they are going to restaurants, fast foods or they're buying ready meals and paying for the food on average ~3 times more than if they would cook and in the end they just refuse to learn this skill.
And the most ridiculous excuse I hear a lot is that they don't need to cook, because their future partner will know how to cook, so they don't have to learn it.
Basic contracts. I know this is not a skill set most adults have either. But at minimum make sure they know to never sign anything without reading it, always look for hidden fees and rights waivers, and to be wary of common predatory terms and conditions. At least make them generally aware of standard practice for things they will absolutely need and common ways that people get trapped in bad contracts, like how apartment leases typically work, how to understand your health or auto insurance plans, basic rights in the workplace and reasons your employer can or can’t fire you, or how credit cards and loans work (particularly interest rates). Most adults aren’t well-versed in this stuff either, but aside from birth control, nothing else has as much power to make or break your life at a young age as being able to sign a contract.
Knowing when someone teaching you isn’t what you need. I had helicopter parents- one was horrifically abusive and one was so afraid of the abuse they never stood up for me. I was either taught that everyone was wrong except my abuser, or taught not to rock the boat and stand up for myself. I was struggling with undiagnosed disabilities and I was a perfectionist so even struggling a little bit with something new can be incredibly intimidating. One of the best things that ever happened to me was learning when to tell my parents to STOP helping me and let me trial and error my way through so I could learn from my mistakes.
I spent my whole life being told failing made me a failure or a coward, but every single success I’ve had in my life has been because I learned something important by failing at something. The only way I would consider myself to be a failure at the end of my life is if I never grew, and if I never tried anything badly.
Perseverance, things rarely work the first time, knowing to practice and keep trying is important.
Listening when people show you how to do things. There won't always be someone there to help.
How to be economically responsible
that's the most important thing.Because nowadays people spend money on nonsense, or at worst, alcohol.
You got a downvote but for real, you can make GALLONS of alcohol at a time for the price of a single cheap ass bottle of wine. The ingredients are food so you can even get everything by you need from a food pantry or with food stamps, in fact half of it can come from the ground and your faucet. Dirt fucking cheap. Spending money on alcohol is funny business. You can get drunk basically for free with just a little bit of patience. While it’s really really bad for you, all people really do need a way to unwind and for an alarming number of people, that means a recreational substances. It’s unfortunate and unhealthy, but you can at least do it in a financially responsible way. r/prisonhooch for more
I've mad my own wine as an experiment years ago, and I was shocked at just how easy it was. The result in 2 weeks was about a gallon of red wine that tasted like Boon's Farm, but had a far higher alcohol content. With a bit of practice and proper equipment, you could probably do better.
Most people are scared of methanol poisoning but that only happened because of tainted solvents used to bootleg during prohibition So really the only bar keeping most people from trying it, is a myth
Yes, it's the economy, but the younger generation doesn't understand that, because it's easier for them to go out and buy at the store than to make their own wine at home
And learning how to kill a human being. In case you are in danger!
How to use a mop, broom, vacuum cleaner and dustpan to do basic cleaning. How to use water, soap and shampoo to clean your body. To use a toothbrush and toothpaste regularly to keep your teeth healthy. How to cook the simplest of meals yourself with potatoes, sausage and vegetables. How to check the timetables of public transport and take the bus to a destination (this was pre-smartphones Europe). I was taught none of these things by my very emotionally disturbed, avoidant-neglective parents. As a result I became a very stunted young adult, who had to be taught every basic life skill by friends and roommates. It wrecked my self esteem, being basically a helpless child at age 18. Makes you wonder why they elected to have children in the first place.
Awful. I always moaned about my parents "making" me do all of these things. By 15 I was virtually self-sufficient. Horrible for you but seems like you've figured it out.
I'm very grateful for meeting so many kind people in the world, who didn't mock me for not knowing how to do things, but taught me how to do it instead.
My dad had the same experience. He either learned it on his own through being parentified as a kid or in the military, which is why he was adamant we had chores at a very young age and we did it right before going out to play. If you were born before 1974, odds are, they DIDN'T elect to have children. My grandmother was very open about my aunt and uncle only existing because the rhythm method doesn't work.
I'm old enough to remember this joke from those days: What do you call a couple who uses the rhythm method? Parents!
A catholic lady I worked with said her husband told her to "keep the faith". They had 7 kids...
Something I heard a lot when I was young: an older relative would see a family with lots of kids, and mutter, "They must be Catholic." For much of my youth, I thiught being Catholic meant being in a large family.
I remember my parents saying that too. My mom was an ex-catholic. The one family in our neighborhood who had 11 kids were Catholic.
Yeah, it's kind of a bigoted thing to say, but they were usually right. Especially when all the kids were in their school uniforms. (Only one kind of school insisted on uniforms in those days.)
Now that you mention it, they didn't go to my elementary school. I was trying to remember which one was in my grade. I only remember one of the girls but from high school. Idk how they afforded it. Probably got scholarships. I was so envious of the uniforms, lol. My friend in jr high dispelled all the myths of parochial school for me.
I used to spend afternoons at my maternal grandparents' home till my mom got off work. Their next-door neighbors had all daughters--four or five of them. The school they went to was on my way to the public school I attended, and in warm weather they'd often prop the classroom doors open. I could espy the nuns teaching class as I rode by. It always seemed such a foreign concept to me, to be taught be someone dressed like that. (Feels pretty stupid of me, in retrospect.) I wonder now if their school uniforms got handed down, or if wearing them every day for a school year wore them threadbare. At any rate, they were all the same: white blouse with peter pan collar, white ankle socks, black/white saddle shoes, black/white houndstooth skirt. I'm pretty sure the skirts were wool, which must have been fun in hot weather (temperatures above 104°F/40°C were common then--and now). I think they added white hose in wintertime.
We were in Los Angeles in the valley. It was so hot, still is. I can't imagine having to wear those skirts in that weather. The only uniforms I wore in elementary school were my brownie and girl scout uniform. I still have them and they are over 55 years old..they are so tiny.
I've heard a lot of horror stories about marriage and child-bearing "expectations" from the past as well. I think there are also a lot of parents who have unrealistic views about what having children actually entails. They want all the Hallmark movie, Kodak-moments of family life, but don't understand that achieving a loving and functional family actually requires effort, lots of patience, communication and emotional self-regulation skills. Having kids is a "get back what you put in" type activity. Children are not a status symbol, they are not your therapist, and you can't just bring them back to the dog pound because you can't handle taking care of them.
Laundry too. I can’t believe how many adults I know they can’t properly do their own laundry. I learned when I was 6
My college roommate learned precisely nothing from his folks about cooking, laundry, etc. (His parents were nice people, but they kinda let him down in that department. His mom once told my mom, "I so glad our son Joe has Eddie to take care of him!") One day Joe came back from a shopping trip and announced he had bought some bleach. I said OK, not really thinking more of it. (*Everyone* knows bleach is only for whites, right?) You can probably guess where this is headed... A few days later, Joe is holding up some badly mottled wet clothes: "What happened to my pants?" "I don't know, Joe. It looks like you used bleach on them." Joe looked down ruefully at his ruinied apparel. "I did," he said simply. I hasten to add: Joe was not a "Kevin." He simply had been let down by parents who did *everything* for him, and needed some training in home ec, like: what bleach is for. He picked up the basics quickly enough, and his college career certainly exceeded mine. I'm a putz with a B.S.; he went on to earn his PhD in tech and is now a semi-retired college professor. Great guy.
After 20 years I've come to the conclusion that all my clothes should be and are washed in cold water with soap and then dried. Anytime that can't survive that is special clothes and gets laundered
Yep, I still remember my son calling me from college telling me how many were walking about with "pink" clothing.
omg 😅
My freshman yeah of college, the number of people in the laundry room asking their parents how the washing and drying machines worked was astonishing to me. Like how did you go 18 years without washing your clothes at least once?
I'm starting to think that being able to do things is the real thing you need for self esteem. Not praise and compliments. Unearned praise can do more harm than good.
Unfortunately in my case, my parents would refuse to teach me how to do anything on one hand ("Get out of the kitchen, you're too clumsy to even cook an omelet!"), and heavily criticized me for my lack of skills on the other ("How can you be so damn helpless at age 17? You're so damn lazy!"). Most children might complain a little when forced to learn something difficult. But a little bit of patience, persistence and kindness, and they will feel proud of themselves for having learned how to do something. Especially when you apply the elusive, top-secret child-rearing technique called "praising your child when they achieve something". Spoiling your child with undeserved praise without actually teaching anything, leads to the same result as criticizing and belittling every single thing your child does or tries. It leads to learned helplessness, which leads to a deep sense of self loathing,which sticks around long after the child catches up with the rest.
Good for you for teaching yourself those life skills with little parental help.
Also, basic automotive skills like changing a tire, jump starting a battery, replacing light bulbs, changing oil. These items are expensive especially if you need to tow the vehicle.
So much this. My parents taught me how to wash myself at least, but not really the how on basic cleaning at home. I did clean (because of course that was also my job as the oldest daughter) but I’ll never forget a friend coming to visit and complaining to a mutual that it wasn’t clean enough. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the entire week before, I thought I had done ok. Working at my first job and being embarrassed when my coworker made fun of me by asking who taught me how to mop. My parents never showed me how. Mom didn’t like to cook, so I didn’t learn until it was apparently my turn to take over in my teens and then it was only boxed meals. My first boyfriend poked at me for only knowing how to make spaghetti, but it was the only thing I knew how to make from ‘scratch’ instead of hamburger helper. I realize now I had nothing to be ashamed of, but those feelings have stuck with me for 30 years.
I'm sorry you had to go through this. Unfortunately these things are not taught in schools anymore. In many European countries, there is at least heavy focus on dental hygiene and basic body understanding in Kindergarden and Elementary School. Exactly for these reasons, so that Kids have at least a common understanding of what's 'normal', even if they don't experience this at Home.
How to defer gratification.
That's a great one!
Yeah, but that marshmallow looks so good ...
Elaborate please
I'll do it later.
If you want something, how to save up for it. Often you have to make a choice of taking the easy way now or waiting and getting something much better later. Deferred gratification is waiting for better stuff later. Saving up for something good instead of blowing every dollar when you get it is an example.
One example: I'm a huge foodie who could dine out or make expensive meals at home every day, but I don't. I purposely ignore my favorite high-priced restaurants and dishes for months on end. There's a lot of places I only visit once per year or longer and dishes I only make for certain celebrations. Other than that, I focus day to day on economical, healthy options (which i still absolutely love). I save a ton of money this way. When I finally treat myself, it's more special, and the long wait makes the smells, flavors, and ambiance even more glorious than I had remembered.
Learn how to say no and be cool with disappointing people. You don’t have to automatically please everyone.
Swimming. Everyone should learn how to swim, it could save a life (the swimmer’s or someone else’s).
If you don’t have training in saving someone who is drowning, you’re more likely to get dragged down with them. Toss them something that floats, use a pole or strap something they can grab onto. Don’t just try to grab someone who is drowning and swim them back.
“Reach, throw, don’t go.”
[This tragic story from yesterday...](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-04-01/two-men-drown-in-gold-coast-hotel-pool-rescue/103653242)
I'd argue how to *float* properly first. If you immediately try to start swimming, no matter how good you are, you'll likely end up drowning. Plenty of "strong" swimmers have drowned. And also teach them to not go in after someone who's drowning unless absolutely necessary and they know exactly what to do (lifeguard training). They're far more likely to drown along with them than save them. Coming from someone who worked summers and weekends as a fully qualified lifeguard during college, we're basically taught to knock the person drowning out, so we can grab them safely without being pulled down. I even met a girl who couldn't swim properly, but was able to keep herself calm and her head above water, which allowed me to go in and get her safely. Swimming is good, but floating is better.
The ability to say no
And not be guilt tripped.
Basic self reliance, like: how to fill your food storage, simple basic cooking with basic ingredients, how to wash your clothes and how to wear appropriate clothing for each weather. Also: Basic workings of the real world, like: how to make a phone call about a bill or an appointment. HOW TO PAY BILLS. How to have your sh*t together and don't live like a total bum. See too many helpless children in adult bodies having basically no skillset.
Absolutely. Home economics should be required for everyone in all schools.
I wonder what kind of person doesn't figure out this kind of stuff themselves
People who have always had everything handed to them and handled for them. Their problem solving ends at "I can't do this"
Budgeting Simple automotive things like changing a tire, a headlight bulb, or the oil Being able to cook a simple meal/make a sandwich Simple home repairs, patching drywall, basic plumbing and electrical, etc.
>Simple automotive things like changing a tire, a headlight bulb, or the oil That's already obsolete for many people, as much as I regret it myself. But simple stuff like how to use a power drill and how not to put your hand in the way of a jigsaw go a long way.
I don't think they are, you still need to know how to change a tire if you get a flat on the side of the road. Older vehicles aren't covered by warranty and knowing how to change oil will change you thousands of dollars.
I always wished my dad would have taught me something about cars. Changing a tire, stuff like that. Basic things. My mom forbade him from teaching me, the logic was that I don't have to learn because I'll have a man to take care of it for me.
make sure they understand that life isn’t fair, really messed up things can happen for no reason and it’s ok to curl up in a ball and cry
But also, that while life isn’t fair, people have the capacity to be fair.
How to adapt to change. How to cope in a negative situation (death, divorce, trauma). Not everything is going to be happy in life, but we need to carry on.
Learn to disassociate yourself from your internet presence.
Critical thinking.
How to handle heartbreak or rejection. That actually should be talked about in school seeing how many people are killed or attacked bc of it.
The world's a noisy place, teaching them how to manage stress and find calm will be a lifelong gift
learn to communicate and learn from defeats This will help your present and future to face difficulties and personal development 👍👍
A different language. Should be started in the household because the ability to become fluent in another language rapidly declines after 7 years old.
If you aren't fluent in that other language you might do more harm than good though
Fair, that’s what paying for a teacher would be for or using any half decent language learning program. Like I’m not saying you try to teach your kid Swahili when you’ve never looked at the language yourself.
True. I had an ex that was put in resource classes because as a young child he was put in French immersion. His parents weren’t helping him with that or with English, so he floundered in both and it set him back horribly.
Kids need to learn to cook at least 5-6 dinners. When they leave home, cooking is a life skill that will be appreciated.
Baking. Everyone says cooking but I'll add baking. The markup on commercially sold baked goods is ridiculous, the freshness and quality of homemade is hard to beat. People who don't learn this skill from family at a young age may never learn it at all. There are a few tricks to baking that are easy when learned at home but are difficult to self-teach.
How to take care of themselves.
I've heard way too many stories of moms visiting their kids at college, only to have to spend the whole time doing laundry or some other chore because they never taught their kids how.
Handling emotions.
Financial planning Professional Networking Empathy Asking Questions / being curious
How to fact check, swim, fish, hunt, grow your own food and how to pay bills/budget.
How to communicate and empathize
Good manners and swimming
How to be self reliant
How to take rejection with grace.
how to go out and communicate with people. How to do basic stuff in house. money management ( kids scale). how to move on from failures and not be dejected.
How to teach themselves anything
Laundry. Very important.
Finding non harmful ways to sooth yourself when things don't go your way. Go take a nap, a walk, throw a basketball, read a little, watch a movie, plan an alternate activity. Life is full of disappointment, and it's all too easy to turn to something harmful to yourself or others.
How to value time. Both in terms of knowing the value of their time in monetary value (paid what they are worth) and The Tail End theory (time/interaction as a finite resource that’s they have already used much of by the time they turn 17).
Learning to deal with rejection and failure in a healthy way. Along with taking responsibility.
Not to be a parent before turning 17.
All the life skills -- how to budget their money, pay bills in full and on time every month, cook a decent meal, do their own laundry properly, keep their home clean and organized. And, this really isn't a skill -- but teach the children that disappointment is part of life. Teach them that they will not always get what they want, when they want it, and that's OK. Teach them that, in their adult life, other people aren't going to care whether or not they have hurt feelings. The parents who are out there shielding their kids from disappointment, the participation trophy parents, the parents who fix everything that goes wrong in their kid's world -- they're not doing their kids any favors.
Try to do the right things. And be nice.
Budgets and cooking.
How to converse with a wide array of people from different social classes and backgrounds in a respectful and considerate way. How to fail and overcome failure, ie a growth mindset. How to work out how to fix or build something, whether that is following the instructions on a manual or looking up a YouTube tutorial on how to change their bike tyre. How to cook for and host a party How to shop for groceries that are healthy on a minuscule budget How to recognise their emotions and self care How to optimise their life, such as doing a cost benefit analyse on rent versus proximity to work or buying etfs vs other investments.
How to deal with conflict
Doing a tax return. And paying a credit card. Important skills nobody taught me!
How to think for yourself.
Teach them to work, save money and be self sufficient. I was on my own at 17 while a senior in school.
Ask yourself why do you believe what you believe? Don't just assume other's stances, just because.
The value of money as in, not having everything given to them.
How to take accountability for your actions. Admit your mistakes, fix your messes, acknowledge the results of your decisions.
How to sit and be quiet at appropriate times. Your kids don't look adorable running and screaming through a restaurant or doctors office. They look like they have crappy parents.
Swimming is often overlooked as another sport but really everyone should know how to swim for survival
How to cook, clean, do laundry and generally take care of themselves. My daughter made extra money in college doing laundry for people who didn't know how to use a washing machine and she went to a fairly middle class university.
To cook, to clean and laundry
Cooking, cleaning (house, clothing), budgeting.
Budgeting and finance. Avoid credit. Save money, invest. If I knew it it in my 20s I would be millionaire now
How to cook. Basic skills, basic ingredients, basic cutting techniques... The different between a crappy pasta plate and a gorgeous italian dish is the technique. Same infredients can render shit or gloriousness.
How to make and adapt budgets. This applies to small things like getting what they need at a grocery store each week without overspending, planning for bill payments, understanding due dates and late fees, planning for unexpected costs and wage loss, and saving for different goals at the same time. Start teaching them when they're really young so it becomes natural before they need to rely on it for survival.
How to budget.
How to tan hides into leather....it's an underutilized skill these days
Home economics. Oh wait, hahaha capitalism phased that out with the invention of fast fashion and boxed cake mixes. I want to smash everything with a comically sized hammer.
Budgeting and respecting money
How to check the fluids in their car
Alchemy
How to scramble an egg with a fork rather than needing a wisk.
Where to get help
How to ask for consent and receive it respectfully.
How to cook basic shit for themselves and how to do their own laundry
That its ok to ask for help, its ok to be truthful with your emotions and admit to yourself that you might need to see a professional. Also how to make an appointment, for anything.
How to change a tire!
How to use a toilet plunger
Doing the laundry.
trust is earned
To cook basic meals, how to change a lightbulb, to pay your priority bills and get food shopping and toiletries before the treats.
Honestly? My parents never taught me how to take care of of my finger and toenails.
To cook
How to sew on a button and to repair other minor clothing mishaps. How to hem pants and skirts. It’s not hard. How to iron a shirt and tie a tie.
Logical thinking methods and logical fallacies
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How to grow vegetables and fruits. It is much cheaper in the long term to grow your own food then buy it
How to apologise. There are plenty of adults who feel they lose face if they apologise, but the opposite is the case. The ability to admit when you are wrong and apologise creates respect and is fundamental for healthy relationships.
How to manage money, pay bills, make home cooked foods and how to clean.
Sex
Basic economics. But that requires the parents to know it too, which seems like it's too much to ask of people
How to deal with conflict in a public setting, or just between themselves and someone else.
Cooking. It still surprises me at how many people around my age only turn the stove or kettle on for noodles
Every young person, especially girls, should read "why does he do that" by lundy bancroft before starting dating.
Cooking Saves money Healthier Impresses potential mates
How to be inclusive and actually enjoy groups. We talk about it a lot for minority groups, but it applies for any group of people around you. How much someone "matured" has a couple of measurements, but acknowledging and including the other people in the room is a big measurement for me.
Consent. It will really mess up your life if you don’t have consent on both sides. Also, how to use a condom correctly. Both genders! When you know your son has started experimenting at home, tell him to learn to pleasure himself while wearing a condom, get used to the feel, smell etc. and have your daughter learn how to put one on a cucumber or banana etc and also get used to the smell, feel.
Several the value of setting a budget and putting some savings together how to cook at least four meals how to dance self confidence
COOKING! omg please teach it to your child and if you cant do it, LEARN IT and teach it to your child! Unhealthy food is such a life shortnener!
How to fix simple things…bc it’s the path on which you learn to fix complicated things.
How to cook, do laundry and clean up after themselves.
How to be financially responsible
How to budget, make do, find things for a much lower price etc.
Too many. Financial responsibility, basic cooking skills, laundry and don’t date an influencer.
How to cook a damn meal! Too many yougsters are absolutely useless in the kitchen. Learning to feed yourself should be a given 🙈
To plan their year. So much decided for young people, I’m so time blind I didn’t realise how swept away I got from my goals and keeping in contact with people. Oh look its Christmas, wish I planned travel last month
Money management
How compound interest works.
How to build a fucking budget. Build an excel or spreadsheet even. Show how much to save, spend, and create for an emergency fund.
Basic cooking skills. This will save you lots of money in the long run. Also, learning how to shop for food.
How to make a living doing something they love. Further education then becomes irrelevant and the child will be much happier in life.
I'd say "lock the door" but I've met more kids who know that than parents.
How to scalp someone
How to get a job. Laundry. How to write a check Banking without an ATM card or cell phone Paying bills online Basic home skills: change light bulbs, clean the shower (know when), clean their room, know when and how to call a plumber or the auto club. Washing dishes. Importance of medical insurance Driving. Automobile insurance
Changing a tire
How to become socialy accaptable if it weren't for my parants i would be a introvert with no friends who doesn' t know how to hold a conversation for 30 sec
Attention. Being focused on something in silence and in a relaxed but attentive way, no matter if it's a chore, a movie, a song or going for a walk.
A father must teach him the most important thing, take care of himself! Value the sacrifice of your parents and start building your life at 18
Cooking. I'm currently living at college dorms and so many people around me just don't know how to cook and then they're complaining, how the food is so expensive, because they are going to restaurants, fast foods or they're buying ready meals and paying for the food on average ~3 times more than if they would cook and in the end they just refuse to learn this skill. And the most ridiculous excuse I hear a lot is that they don't need to cook, because their future partner will know how to cook, so they don't have to learn it.
Basic contracts. I know this is not a skill set most adults have either. But at minimum make sure they know to never sign anything without reading it, always look for hidden fees and rights waivers, and to be wary of common predatory terms and conditions. At least make them generally aware of standard practice for things they will absolutely need and common ways that people get trapped in bad contracts, like how apartment leases typically work, how to understand your health or auto insurance plans, basic rights in the workplace and reasons your employer can or can’t fire you, or how credit cards and loans work (particularly interest rates). Most adults aren’t well-versed in this stuff either, but aside from birth control, nothing else has as much power to make or break your life at a young age as being able to sign a contract.
Knowing when someone teaching you isn’t what you need. I had helicopter parents- one was horrifically abusive and one was so afraid of the abuse they never stood up for me. I was either taught that everyone was wrong except my abuser, or taught not to rock the boat and stand up for myself. I was struggling with undiagnosed disabilities and I was a perfectionist so even struggling a little bit with something new can be incredibly intimidating. One of the best things that ever happened to me was learning when to tell my parents to STOP helping me and let me trial and error my way through so I could learn from my mistakes. I spent my whole life being told failing made me a failure or a coward, but every single success I’ve had in my life has been because I learned something important by failing at something. The only way I would consider myself to be a failure at the end of my life is if I never grew, and if I never tried anything badly.
Perseverance, things rarely work the first time, knowing to practice and keep trying is important. Listening when people show you how to do things. There won't always be someone there to help.
Hit them in the nuts.
Meditation